Bondage Style!
by Chilord
Summary: A silly little idea I decided to expand on, meant to be silly and comedic, but does have drops of drama and depth to it. At a young age Naruto ducks into a shop, and changes his future. AU Mature themes and innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.

Let the madness begin... I do warn you though, it flicks between comedy and substance.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

The words screamed through air behind a flash of orange, as a young boy raced across the rooftops, his eyes wide, filled with a mischievous joy, as his grin flashed back at his pursuers, "HA! Good luck!"

"Damned brat!" There was a sudden growl as a flash of metal snapped just past the boy's cheek, a blade tasting the slightest bit of his flesh, to draw a thin line of blood as for a moment, a flicker of fear passed through brilliant blue eyes before he darted suddenly in another direction.

"Oh, you wanna play it that way huh?!" there was a definite tone of challenge in the boy's voice, as instinctively a number of his pursuers flinched lightly in recognition. That tone, those words from the blonde boy, well it was best not to consider the possibilities, "Fine, lets play!"

He ducked, immediately into a seemingly random ally, his pursuers hot on his heels before suddenly, their vision was obstructed by a sudden explosion of neon pink and blue. For a moment, only the sound of splattering drips could be heard, along with the rapidly fading mocking laughter as they took note of their situation. An instant, that was long enough for the outrage to set in, anger fueling their limbs as they shot after the boy once more with screams of incoherent rage.

And the boy? He simply laughed, his eyes a light with mischief as he would slip down another seemingly random alley. Again, his pursuers gave chase, racing, blindly now into the alley, hunting with clouded eyes.

Clouded eyes, the boy was eager to take advantage of one by one, the stragglers of the crowd began to drop off unnoticed. Their bodies, bound, and hogtied, make shift gags in their mouths as they lay in a pink and blue spectacle on the streets. Eventually though, the anger faded among some of the group, slowing them as they once more began to take stock of their surroundings, before one of them looked back over his shoulder and caught sight of the boy finishing his knots on another.

The boy paused a moment as he noticed he'd been discovered, a sheepish grin on his lips before he waved back at the man, "Eh heh, uh, hi again!"

"HE'S BEHIND US!" Instantly the group skidded to a halt, an almost audible screech rising into the air as they turned back to see the boy, standing over the latest in a string of hogtied, pink and blue painted figures, "GET HIM!"

"Errr," the boy scratched the back of his head, "Can't we talk about this?"

"NO!" the group screamed almost unanimously back at him.

"Uh, actually, I wouldn't mind talking about it..." a voice spoke up, a weasel masked young man raising his hand.

As the group, turned to glare at the dissenting voice, the boy grinned , giving a wink at the young masked man, "Catch ya later then Weasel-san!"

Before the group could tear its eyes back to the boy, he was already racing down the street again, bouncing over and around people before disappearing into the crowd. With an angry tick to his features, one of the man glared back towards the masked individual in question, "This is YOUR fault!"

"Hmmm..." the man in question struck a thoughtful pose before nodding and grinning slightly behind his mask, "Why yes, it is. Bye!"

And with that the man vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving the rest of the group to growl in response before a man pointed back in the direction Naurto had sped off in, "AFTER HIM!"

Laughing softly to himself Naruto Uzumaki ducked behind a random shop door, hiding behind it as he watched the group charge back down the street, trampling over their hog tied compatriots in the process. Holding back his laughter as long as he could, and certain they were finally out of hearing distance the boy rolled onto his back and flopped down, proceeding to laugh as hard as he could. At least, until his tear stained eyes managed to take in where he was.

"Hmm, aren't you a little... young to be in a place like this kid?" The voice barely registered on the boy's ears as he slowly looked around the shop with wide eyed uncertainty, seeing all manner of restraints, in a variety of material, rope, leather, metal, along with a variety of other sorts of impliments.

"Uh... wh-where am I?!" The eyes grew wide, before he looked over at the counter, and at the amused smirk on the woman behind it's face.

"Well now, aren't you a little cutie," A throat chuckle escaped the predatory curl of soft lips as she strode out from behind the counter, with the sweet creaking sound of the tight leather of her hip hugging pants shifting in place.

As the staccato click of heels struck the cool floor, she casually brought a hand, covered by a laced black leather glove that ran almost to her shoulder to the blinds and took a look outside, "Well now, I'm going to guess you're the one behind the commotion hmmm? Not too shabby work on the knots, though, a bit uninspired creatively."

"Uh..." he paused, looking up at the black leather corset the woman wore about her chest, cupping the generous swell of her breasts before she looked curiously at him with a cocked brow, "Hmmm..."

The five year old paused suddenly before he cupped his chin between his thumb and index finger in serious thought before grinning up at her, "So what would you suggest?"

The woman laughed softly, her pale lavender, pupilless eyes framed by a head of soft, straight raven black hair, "Oh, eager little one aren't you? If only Hinata had your interest, ah well all things in time I'm sure," she grinned softly back at the boy as she let the blinds go and chuckled again, "I have a few ideas on what you could do, and a few things I could teach you..."

"Yesss!" the boy immediately went to his knees and bowed somberly, "Please, teach me!" When those eyes looked back up, there was a look akin to desperation in his eyes, "Nobody ever teaches me anything, please!"

She blinked, taken a bit aback by the look before she studied the boy, the crystalline blue eyes, the whisker marks on his chin, and she reached down, a gentle look of sadness on her face before she nodded and cupped his chest, "You're Naruto, aren't you?"

"Huh? How'd you know?" there was a blink of surprise as he stared, owlishly up into her eyes as she gave him a gentle, reassuring smile.

"You look like your father," she said simply before eying him critically before smiling softly, "But you definitely behave like your mother."

"You... knew my parents?" there was a pause, tears, welling up in his eyes as he looked up at her, hope and desperation shining in those blue orbs.

"Yes, I did, they were good people and they loved you, very much," she smiled sadly at the boy, "Don't ever doubt that."

"Can you... can you tell me about them?" He spoke up, as if to hope was a great, impossible dare.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I can't, not yet," She spoke sadly, before she offered him a smile, "But, I'll tell you what, if you're a good student and master what I have to teach you, I'll do my best to make sure that you know when you're older."

"You... you promise?" The hopeful look in his eyes would almost shine as he looked up at the women.

"Yes Naruto, I promise," She smiled at him before giving him a stern look, "But I won't take it easy on you, got it? What I can teach you is one of the most effective styles for capture and conversion of enemy shinobi, are you up for it?"

"YES SENSEI!"

"Good, now lets get started."

- A little over One year later-

"Hey sensei," the voice was soft and quiet as it spoke, the night sky, "I'm sorry you missed me earlier, I don't think Hiashi would've much wanted me around."

"I've been keeping up with my scrolls, studying the jutsus you taught me, working on my Chakra control, studying the scrolls you left me..."

"Its hard, other than the old man, you were the only one who cared," a soft stream of silver tears began to fall slowly past his eyes, "She's beautiful by the way, they named her Hanabi... Hinata hasn't come out of her room for days, and Hiashi..."

"Its like he's gone," he spoke softly stroking the simple stone marker with his thumb as he looked over the words written on it, "He's so... empty now."

"I'll do my best to keep things going for you, I'll look out for Hinata and Hanabi," he was on his knees now, struggling to stand as the tears only grew stronger, "I wish I knew what I could do for Hiashi, I wish I could help them more."

"I miss you sensei, I promise you though, I'm gonna be the best at this, I'll show everyone the power you taught me," he smiled a bit as he looked down at the description on the head stone, "Beloved Wife and Mother, " He paused a moment before adding two words, "And Teacher."

"They will learn to respect Bondage Style!" the words echoed through the empty night, as Naruto Uzumaki found himself a goal.

-Roughly 4 years later-

"GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!!!!"

"Mwahaha!" the laugh echoed in response as a crop of blonde hair flared in the wind, atop a black clad bouncing body, "Think you're gonna catch me?! HA!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" the voice screamed as a group of figures bounded after the hyperactive little figure, "YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"

"Heh, don't count on it suckers!" The finger whirled around in mid leap, his blue eyes flashing as he performed a series of signs then thrust out with the loose sleeves of his coat, "SPIDER'S WEB!"

A series of glowing ropes suddenly exploded past the boy's sleeves as they suddenly anchored to the roofs and walls of the nearby buildings, just in time to catch the group of ninja chasing after him, "DAMNED BRAT! USING THIS STUPID, JOKE OF A STYLE ON US?!"

The rest of the group all stared at the man in absolute horror as the black clad boy suddenly came to a screeching halt, before slowly turning around, those brilliant blue eyes glinting coldly as they locked onto the man, "What. Did. You. Say?"

The rest of the group instantly paled as they started struggling even more against their bonds, the wave of killer intent rolling off the boy was absolutely staggering as he began to slowly walk back towards them. His thick black trench coat fluttered, ominously, to an unseen wind, exposing his mesh covered chest, and the loose black pants that ran down to the combat boots on his feet. Before him, the group was struggling like mad to get away, as the man who spoke attempted to keep his cool as he shot back, "I said that style's a joke!"

"Oh, I see..." the words came like ice past his lips, as he narrowed his gaze at the man, Intantly a good number of the knots in the web dispelled, releasing everyone but the man, "The rest of you, can go. This one is Mine."

The man instantly began to sweat, rather heavily in fact as he noticed how his cohorts all almost instantly vanished, leaving him alone before the 12 year old boy. Summoning up what courage he had, the man stared back defiantly at the blonde, "I'm not afraid of you!"

A slow, dark chuckle began to escape the boy's throat as he slowly loomed over the man, "Oh, but you will. Be..."

Fear engulfed the man, a moment before his consciousness was enshrouded in darkness, and he knew nothing for several hours. Or, at least until he found himself awakening, dangling off a flag pole in front of the Hokage's office, in nothing but an adult diaper, noticeably stained, and a giant pacifier gag strapped to his mouth. It was a lesson in pure, abject humiliation, topped off like a cherry by the brilliant pink bib and bonnet strapped to him, his eyes widening just as the female jounin and ANBU members were exiting from a weekly debriefing.

Needless to say, when he was finally able to talk again, the man never again questioned the validity of Naruto's style.

As the Hokage himself shook his head, quietly chuckling at the man's punishment he turned his head and looked towards the young man responsible for the act, laying lazily across one of his chairs, "Hey old man."

"Hello again Naruto, been busy I see," the man grinned softly as he would slowly return to his seat, "Do you have to keep tormenting the chuunins like that?"

"Eh, nah, but, there weren't enough jounin or ANBU for my work out so I had to improvise, " the boy gave the old man a fox like grin as he stretched out, "So I made due with what I had. That guy was just dumb enough to call my style a joke."

"Ah, I see," the man nodded in response as he would lightly puff his pipe, "So, what brings you to my office today? I don't believe its time for your weekly prank just yet, and please, no more of that one technique, my heart's not getting any younger!"

"Heh, dirty old man," the boy snickered softly, "Nah, I'm here to talk to ya about the genin teams."

"Now Naruto, you know that the academy makes those decisions, not me," the man protested genially as he would raise his hands in protest, "That's even assuming you pass this time."

"I don't care, I promised Sensei I'd look after Hinata and that's what I'm gonna do," there was a stubborn pout to the boy's lips as he glared back at the old man, "Besides, you know I failed the last two times just to make sure I graduated in time to get on her genin team."

"Naruto..." The old man sighed as he gave the blonde boy a look.

"Old man," the boy responded in the exact same tone, before grinning wickedly, "All right, how much is it gonna take?"

"Now Naruto, you know that the position of Hokage is a prestigious and honorable one," the man responded before twitching lightly as he watched the boy pull out a little blue book, with no title out before setting on the table, "A Hokage cannot be bribed, " a brow arched in response to this, as a purple book was added to the first, a trickle of sweat rolling down the side of the man's face, "Nor influenced with promises..." the boy then brought out a set of photos, of a certain purple haired kunoichi in all manner of compromising positions and lack of clothing, "That aren't of the absolute highest standard, I'm sure that Iruka will see reason that you'd best be suited to complimenting Hinata's abilities!"

"I'm sure," the boy grinned in response as he waggled his brow at the old man, even as he pushed the books and photos towards him, "Hot off the presses, won't be available to the public for two and six months respectively."

The old let off a perverted giggle, highly reminiscent of his former student before diving into the book with a happy sigh, "Ah, you know how to treat an old man Naruto, truly, was there anything else I can do for you?"

"Well, I was gonna ask for Ino too, but I figured that might be pushing it," the boy responded casually, "Though, think about the interrogation squad we could make..."

"And I'm going to guess shifting things around in the process, so a certain Uchiha ends up on an all male team?" the man quirked a brow with a slight smirk.

"Eh, the closeted bastard deserves the extra eye candy to look at," Naruto grinned back with a smirk, "Give him Kiba and Shikamaru, maybe that'll finally get him outta the closet."

"And off of your ass in the process?" the old man responded with a knowing chuckle.

"Hey! That's what I'm trying to PREVENT here!" the boy shivered softly, "I like the broody bastard all right? But seriously, if I have to keep catching him staring at my pants so much..."

The old man merely laughed in response as he watched the boy, his eyes glittering with amusement, "I'll think about it, of course, knowing you, you'd try to get the first 4 genin squad with the young Miss Haruno."

"I'm greedy, what can I say?" the boy responded back at him, "Besides, all the more research for me!"

"Heh, you remind me of my old student so much Naruto," Sarutobi sighed softly, "You do this old man proud."

Naruto twitched lightly in response, "Right old man... right, I'll catch ya later."

"Of course Naruto, of course, enjoy the rest of your day," there was a brief pause for a moment, before the man continued, "Though, I would appreciate you not scarring anymore of my chuunin for a time."

The boy stretched out softly, his coat rippling slightly at the motion, "Meh, I make no promises, its their mouths."

"Heh, off with you then my boy, you might want to hurry, I do believe I have an appointment with Anko shortly..."

The boy paused a moment, and grinned wickedly back at the man, "And this is supposed to do something other than entice me to stay?"

The old man twitched lightly as he looked at the positively leering boy who was eying the door with an almost unhealthy anticipation, "Now Naruto, I would prefer you not destroy my office... AGAIN."

"Pfft, not my fault you get shoddy contractors old man."

"Remember what I said about blood loss and heart attacks?"

"Baaaaah," the boy grumbled softly before grinning wickedly as he proceeded to put a pair of papers on the bottom of the two seats in front of the Hokage, then made a series of hand signs, before grinning down right evilly, "Well old man, make sure Anko-chan gets a good seat, and you'll get yourself a floor show, see ya!"

"See ya old man, you still owe me some ramen!" the boy grinned before he slipped over to the window and vanished somewhere along the tower.

"Of course, of course," the man chuckled softly before looked up to see the door opening, to admit the swaying form of Anko Mitarashi, "Ah, hello again my dear, please, have a seat..."

The smirking woman nodded as she moved over to the chair.

The throaty scream that exploded through the air moments later, was followed by a voice full of feminine, though somewhat impotent rage, "NARUTOOOOOOO!"

"Heh heh heh," the boy practically giggled as he bounced over the roof tops, before dropping himself down into his favorite seat at Ichiraku Ramen with an almost angelic smile, "One beef ramen please!"

"Oh Naruto, you seem to be in a good mood," the smiling face of the young woman working behind the counter greeted him with a slight bow, "Does it have anything to do with the flag pole?"

"Heh," the boy grinned in response as he would lean forward onto his elbows, his eyes gleaming with mischief, "And Anko-chan's scream."

"Ah," she nodded softly before she put a finger on her lip, "Though, that doesn't sound like her usual I'm going to kill someone scream."

"Nah, that was her sitting on an orgasm tag scream," He grinned back at her, an almost cherub like look of innocence on his face as he would lean slowly forward, "Then, I imagine I'll get a nice work out of her when she comes to try and kill me."

"Errr, Naruto?" the woman blushed heavily as her father behind her struggled not to let himself explode into a nose bleed.

"Yes Ayame-chan?" those blue, oh so innocent looking eyes looked up at her.

"I don't think her trying to kill you is what you have to worry about."

"Nah, definitely her trying to kill me, she's not a pedo or anything," The boy responded cheerfully as he waited for his ramen, "The chuunin earlier didn't really give me much of a work out."

"Shouldn't you be at the Academy right now though Naruto?" the old man spoke up with a smile on his face as he cooked the boy's ramen.

"Eh, Iruka-sensei is just talking about boring stuff and stuff I already know today," the boy waved it off with a grin as he began to drool slightly in anticipation, "Besides, I'm already ready for the exam!"

"If you say so Naruto, if you say so..." the girl nodded simply, before all three blinked slightly as a sudden shout echoed down the street.

"NARUTO! WHY AREN'T YOU IN CLASS?!" the words burst past the lips of an obviously irate chuunin teacher named Iruka, "You've got final exams tomorrow!"

"Mmmm... ramen..." Naruto drooled softly as the bowl was set down in front of him before blinking slightly as he looked up at Iruka, "mmm? Did you say something Iruka-sensei?"

"Na... Ru... to... Uz... U... Maki..." the man ground out as he glared down at the boy who happily bowed to the Ramen stand owners and began to dig into his ramen.

"Whaf?" the boy responded around a mouthful of noodles.

"Class, NOW!" the man bellowed.

"In a minute, lemme finish lunch."

"Naruto..." the warning growl continued.

"Meh, I'm about to have Anko-chan after my ass Iruka-sensei," the boy said in a casually bored tone as he raised a brow at Iruka, "Now tell me, what do you think she'd do if I left her a present?"

"Naruto, this is no time to be talking about presents, you need to get to class, NOW!" there was a decided tick to the man's eye, oh how he tried with the boy, but the kid was stubborn, "Do you want to get laughed at again?"

"No, I don't, and Iruka-sensei, I think this is the perfect time to be talking about presents for Anko-chan," The boy took a deep slurp of his noodles before grinning down right mischievously at the man, "You should know what I leave her as presents to shake her."

"Nar..." the man began before suddenly his eyes widened at the implications of just what the boy was saying, "Naruto, you wouldn't!"

"Mmm I dunno sensei, when was the last time you got laid?" the boy grinned again at the man, no hint of malice or anger in his eyes, only an honest playfulness, "You know, its not very healthy to not have an outlet for all those frustrations, and as scary as Anko-chan is, she's VERY good."

"... I do NOT want to know how you know that," The man shivered softly before giving the boy a speculative look before shivering again, "I seriously do NOT want to know."

"Meh, tell ya what sensei, I'll make ya deal," the boy slurped up the last of the Ramen then grin as he nodded thank fully to the cooks, "Thank you for a lovely bowl of ramen!" as he place his money on the counter he grinned at Iruka, "Ask Anko-chan out on a date, treat her right, and I'll go back to class with you."

The man merely stared at the boy, his mind momentarily frazzled as he tried to wrap his mind around just what it was he was asking him to do, "Let me get this straight... you'll go back to class, if I ask Anko Mitarashi out on a date, and treat her right...?"

"Yup!" he grinned foxily back at the man before giving him a serious look, "Hot and dirty sex is good and all, but seriously, she needs a real date for a change! No looking at her like the rest of those perverts! Treat her like a lady!"

Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose as he gave a look down at the boy, "What're you, my mother?" he sighed softly before he rubbed lightly at his eyes, "I can't believe I've got a 12 year old lecturing at me about sex and relationships."

"Well, if you want GOOD advice..." the boy spoke up helpfully.

"Ugh," the man sighed softly, "Fine! I'll ask her out on a date, a real date and I'll treat her like the lady she is," the man blushed softly as he grumbled a bit, "Not that its likely she'd be interested."

"I don't know, what do you think Anko-chan?" the boy grinned as he spoke up helpfully, causing the teacher to immediately freeze in his spot before slowly turning around.

Standing there, her tan trench coat fluttering lightly in the wind, stood the woman in question, brown eyes staring back at the man, her head half cocked to the side as she glanced up and down speculatively. Pursing her lips lightly she casually removed her hands from her pockets and caught her chin between her fingers, "Huh, I dunno brat..."

"Hey, would I steer you wrong?" the boy put on a hurt expression as he looked back at the mesh wearing woman, "Iruka-sensei is a stand up guy!"

"Heh, oh, gonna place your life on the line on that?" the woman grinned as she casually ran her fingers, up Iruka's stomach over his chest as she arched a brow at Naruto.

"Hell yeah I am!" there wasn't a moment's hesitation as he stood up, firmly looking back defiantly into Anko's eyes, "Iruka sensei's one of the people I care about! He cares about me and he doesn't hate me like most everyone else. He ACCEPTS me."

The man in question looked back down at Naruto, confusion evident on his face, but more than that there was a pride in those eyes as a soft little smile curled on his lips, his hand unconsciously going down, gripping lightly on the boy's shoulder, "Naruto..."

The boy flashed a grin at Iruka before looking back at Anko, "So, how about it Anko-chan? He picks you up at seven?"

"Hmmm..." the woman grinned back at Naruto looking back at Iruka with a new set of eyes, "Huh, the brat vouches for ya huh? Hmmm..."

"Uh..." the man stared wildly then, suddenly realizing just what kind of predicament he might just be getting into, "T-tonight?"

"Yup, tonight!" the boy grinned back shamelessly as he smiled even wider at Anko, "I'll make sure he's there."

"I'm sure you will brat, I'm sure you will," she laughed, ever so softly before pulling her fingers back from where they'd been stroking against Iruka's chest, "I'll see you then... and do NOT keep me waiting."

"R-right..." the man nodded obediently before the woman turned and vanished in a swirl of leave. When he finally came out of his stupor as he noticed the triumphant grin on Naruto's face, "You planned that didn't you Naruto."

"Nah, not really," the boy shrugged with a grin, "Been trying to get Anko a decent date for a while now, all I've been able to do is tie up guys she thinks are cute so she can take them back to her lair and vent her frustrations on em."

"Naruto..." there was a warning edge to the man's tone.

"Whaaaa?' the boy grinned back, "They leave with a smile on their face that you couldn't wipe off with a katana!"

Iruka simply sighed before a slight smile came to his lips and he reached down, ruffling the boy's hair with a slight smile on his lips, "Come on, lets get to class... Then you can show me where I can pick up Anko."

"No problem Iruka-sensei!" the boy grinned back at him as he jumped up, his trench coat fluttering softly before he paused a moment, "Uhhh... So why do you want me to go to class so badly?"

As he looked at the boy, scratching the back of his head curiously the man sighed back at him, "Naruto, you've failed the genin exam twice already, you're at the bottom of the class rankings and you skip class half the time."

"So?" The boy grinned back at the man, "I'm too busy training to worry about those boring lectures," he grinned at the tick on Iruka's face, "Getting chased by a buncha jounin's a lot better work out than what I get in the academy."

"You've still failed twice Naruto," the man said sternly, "You keep it up and they'll eventually stop letting you try, you do want to be a ninja don't you?"

"Heh, didn't old man Hokage tell ya?" the boy grinned back at the man, "I blew those on purpose."

The man almost fell over in shock before he glared at the boy, "WHAAAT?! Why would you do something as stupid as that?!"

"Heh, so I could get on Hinata's team of course," The boy grinned back at the man as he stretched back, laughing softly before getting a somber look on his face, "I promised someone very special to me that I'd protect her. And I will."

The man stared at the boy, in incomprehension, "So, you're saying that you've purposely failed two exams, just to get on Hinata Hyuuga's team, so you can protect her?" the man stared at the boy for a long moment, "I'm sure who ever you made that promise to would have understood you graduating on time Naruto."

"Yes, sensei would have," the boy said with a quiet nod before he looked up fiercely into Iruka's eyes, "But I won't. I don't go back on my promises, that's my way."

"So, you promised your sensei huh?" the man looked at Naruto oddly for a moment, "You've never told me who taught you your... err.. unique style."

The boy gave a save little smile before he looked at Iruka, "Hinata's Mother."

It was in that stunned silence that they walked down the street, a look of comprehension dawning on the man's face as he looked at the boy before him who seemed such a contradiction at times. Bouncing between child and man with an almost care free ease. At moments, so frighteningly serious and insightful for a boy, and others, so care free and childish that it seemed as if he'd never had a worry in his life.

"Come on Iruka-sensei," the boy suddenly spoke up cheerfully, "Lets hurry up and get to your lecture, I need a good nap!"

"Why you little!" The man gave a slight glare at his pupil, even as the boy gave off a light laugh and started to race the man back to the academy, as Iruka couldn't help but wonder, how much had the boy been hiding.

-Several hours later-

"Stop slouching! You wanna impress Anko-chan or not!?" Naruto berated his instructor as he crossed his arms about his chest, "Come on, straighten up that jacket, you're a chuunin for crying out loud, act like it!"

"Naruto..." the man growled softly as he looked down at the boy, his eyes narrowing slightly.

The boy grinned at the man before with a sudden poof, he transformed into Anko herself, suddenly leaning in, whispering to him in a soft slow voice, "Come on Iruka-kun... don't you want to look your best for me?"

Immediately Iruka's face flushed red as he stared back at the figure, frozen in shock before suddenly with an impish grin, she was replaced by a chair from a nearby patio of a restaurant. Blinking in shock, he turned his eyes and then looked, to see two Naruto's waving back at him from the patio where the chair had come from. With a grin on his face the boy switched with the chair once more before grinning up at the man with an almost giggle.

"Naruto..." the man paused a moment before looking down at the kid, "Why did you do that?"

"Because you didn't believe me when I told you I purposely bombed the tests?" he grinned softly before stretching out lightly, "I can pull off the academy stuff, though, I only have a bit above average chakra control," there was a twinge of frustration that passed his face as he grumbled at that, "Stupid chakra reserves."

"Naruto... what're you talking about?" the man blinked down at the boy, not quite sure what to make of what he said.

"Eh? Didn't the old man tell ya? I got more chakra than anyone else in this village," the boy blinked a bit before shrugging.

Iruka merely gave the boy a look, "Are you trying to tell me you've got more chakra reserves at 13 than the Hokage himself?!"

"That's what I just said Iruka-sensei," The boy grinned a bit, "Why do you think I still have such shitty control with all the chakra control exercises I do?"

The man sighed and merely shook his head as he ruffled the boy's hair with a chuckle, "Whatever you say kid whatever you say."

The boy merely grinned in response before he would stretch back happily, "Oh by the way..."

"Hmmm?" The man looked curiously down at the boy, "What Naruto?"

"I like you a lot Iruka-sensei..." the boy smiled up at him with his eyes closed, before suddenly they snapped open, those brilliant blue eyes like steel as their pierced into Iruka's gaze, "But, Anko-chan's like me, hurt her and I'll make you pay."

"Heh, I know kid, I know," the man ruffled the boy's hair lightly with an accepting nod, "Tell ya what, we'll go and get some ramen tomorrow after you graduate, sound good?"

"Yup," the boy grinned before pulling the man over to an apartment building, "Come on, we're here."

With a smile the man allowed the boy to drag him along, pulling rapidly into the building before up several waiting flights of stairs. After jerking him down a hall, the boy paused, then gestured to a waiting door, "Here we are Iruka-sensei!"

"Huh," the man paused a moment, studying the door carefully before slowly straightening up with a nervous sigh, "You sure about this Naruto?"

"Just knock already! Eesh," the boy grumbled as he would cross his arms about his mesh covered chest, "You've got balls Iruka-sensei, use em"

"Damned brat," the man gave a mock glare down at his student before raising his fist up and giving a slow simple knock on the door.

For a moment, nothing happened, a silence hanging heavy on the air, anticipation gnawing in the man's stomach as he cast a wary glance down at his student, who merely grinned happily back up at him. Finally then, the sound of of shifting bolts and locks could be heard, before the the door swung slowly inward. The sight the greeted him however, was one he wasn't quite prepared for.

"Hmmm... So you actually showed up huh?" there she was, Anko Mitarashi, leaning lightly against the door, her voice somewhat subdued compared to the usual sultry exuberance as she let her eyes flick to Iruka's before down to the boy at his side, "With the brat no less."

"Hey, someone's gotta chaperon you two," the boy grinned back at the woman with a wink as he put his hands behind his head.

Iruka however, took a moment to collect himself, when he'd asked for a date with the woman, the last thing he'd expected when knocking on her door, was... this. Almost anything resembling her usual almost exhibitionist style was gone, replaced by a simple white blouse, trimmed in red, hanging loosely off her shoulders, with a pair of simple matching black pants. Her she still wore her headband, but as a belt, slung loose across her hips.

At his look the woman merely arched a brow and scowled slightly, "What, got a problem with how I look?" the growl in her voice was rapidly approaching what Naruto could tell was the danger zone.

"Actually Anko-san, I... simply haven't seen you outside of your work clothes before," the man managed a softly sheepish look, "Looking as nice as you do, makes me feel more than a little under-dressded, not to mention out of my league."

Her eyes went blank for a moment, her expression gone stone cold as she simply stared back at the man before her head slowly turned down to the suddenly nervous Naruto. For a moment, she merely held him there, frozen by that unreadable gaze before finally, her lips curled back into a slight smile as her eyes warmed, "Ya did good kid."

"He has his moments," Iruka agreed as he ruffled the boy's hair before offering Anko his arm, "May I have the honor of escorting the beautiful lady to dinner?"

"Yes, he does," the look she gave Naruto held an honest smile before she nodded to Iruka and slipped her arm in his, "And yes, you may," she paused a moment before grinning back at the blonde, "Go on and take off kid, I don't think we'll be needing you tonight."

"Heh, just don't keep him up too late Anko-chan, he's gotta give me my exams in the morning!" the boy grinned in response before giving a serious look directly at Anko, "And, take it slow! No dragging him to your bed tonight!"

"Damned brat, what do you think I am?" the woman grumbled as Iruka blushed slightly in response, as he felt her arm tightening lightly against his own before she shook her head with a chuckle, "Never mind, don't answer that question."

"Smart lady," the boy grinned before he raced towards the window at the end of the hall, opened it and gave them one last wave before jumping out into the night.

"I swear, I never know what to expect from that boy," Iruka chuckled slightly, "He always keeps me guessing though."

"Yeah," a slight smile held to the woman's lips as she nodded, leaning lightly against the teacher, "He sure makes life interesting."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Disclaimer: No, Naruto's not mine.

Author's notes: Heh, amazing what can come with a bit of an odd little idea huh? This will not be a lemon though. At most, maybe a lime, but not lemon. Still, there will be plenty of innuendo, and lots of teasing and flirting.

As well as some very red faced (for a multitude of reasons) girls.

Now to begin

"So, I take it last night went well?" the words were tinged with humor as a blonde face suddenly appeared in front of the distant look in Iruka's eyes as the man sat quietly behind his desk, watching as the students trickled in, individually and in small groups.

"GAH!" the man instantly reacted, jumping back as his hands rose defensively before recognizing the face in front of him, "Dammit Naruto!"

"Whaaaa?" the boy grinned softly as he would lean in, that mischievous grin plastered on his features, "Ninjas are supposed to be sneaky! You're just letting yourself get distracted!"

"I was not..." the man began before sighing softly and giving a mild glare at the boy, "Fine, I was distracted, happy?"

"Mmm depends, are you?" Naruto grinned back at the man as his eyes danced with mischief, "Are you?"

"If you're asking how the date went, why don't you ask Anko?" the man responded, as a slow smirk crossed his lips and he crossed his arms about his chest.

"Oh, I did," the look suddenly became flinty, cold as the boy looked down at him, "Which is why I'm going to do what I am..."

Instantly the man froze in his seat, staring back at Naruto with wide, worried eyes as he couldn't help but feel a trickle of fear run down the back of his neck, "Wh-what!? We had a good time! We had dinner, saw a movie, went for a walk!" he threw his hands up, "She was smiling the whole way back to her apartment! She even gave me a kiss!"

"Oh, so, you're saying you enjoyed your date with Anko-chan?" the boy's voice responded, as if in a tone of disbelief.

"Yes, I'm saying that I enjoyed my date with Anko-chan!" the man shot back rather loudly, before a sinking pit shot through his stomach as he realized just what it was he'd said so loudly.

"Really Iruka-sensei," The boy admonished with that wicked grin suddenly back on his face, "You don't have to yell it that loudly, though, I'm sure that everyone's happy to know you've found yourself a girlfriend!"

Meanwhile, Iruka's silver haired fellow teacher Mizuki was staring back at Iruka, "Anko-chan?" the man blinked a moment before his eyes widened, "As in Anko Mitarashi? You went on a date with Anko Mitarashi?!"

Iruka gave a flat look back at his coworker before sighing softly as he heard the rising snickers erupted from the class in front of them both, "Yes, I went on a date with a lovely kunoichi last night. We had a good time, and I think we'll be doing it again soon, something wrong with that?"

The last of it directed towards the class in a hard, flat look, while Mizuki couldn't help but continue, "But... But... Anko! Mitarashi! THE Anko Mitarashi!"

"I don't know of any other Anko Mitarashi that are kunoichi, Mizuki-sensei," Naruto offered helpfully before grinning at Iruka, "Do you Iruka-sensei?"

"No Naruto, I don't," the dark haired teacher responded before he leveled a look at Mizuki, "Would you be implying that there's something wrong with my dating a lovely kunoichi like Anko, Mizuki?"

"Well..." the man paused, still wide eyed before he continued, "Its Anko Mitarashi!"

"And...?" the word came in simultaneous, matching cold tones and icy stares from both Iruka and Naruto as Mizuki could feel a line of sweat slowly trickling down the back of his neck.

"Errr..." instantly the man seemed to shrink down on himself under the sudden spikes of killing intent washing off the two, "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

"Good," again the replies were simultaneous as the pair looked at him once more with those frosty glares before turning back to one another.

"Now, Naruto, if you would be so kind as to take your seat?" The man spoke in a calmer tone of voice, "We do have the exams today if you'll remember."

"Yup, whatever you say Iruka-sensei!" Naruto grinned back before almost dancing up the steps to flop down into a seat next to the pale eyed, dark haired Hinata Hyuuga, "Heya Hinata-chan, ready for the exam?"

The girl blushed softly in response before slowly nodding, her fingers lightly pushing together, as she asked in a quiet voice "How about you Naruto-kun?"

"Pretty good, though, a little twitchy," he grinned softly, "Didn't get my morning chase in though," he pouted slightly at that as he would stretch slowly.

The girl paused a moment, lightly biting down against her lower lip before blushing again, "You shouldn't torment them so much Naruto-kun, its not nice."

"Hey, I'm just helping to keep them on their toes!" he grinned back, waggling a brow at her, "Afterall, if a 13 year old academy student can pull things like that on them..."

"Well..." she blushed softly before giving a faint, reluctant nod of the head as she lightly twiddled her fingers once more, "All right Naruto-kun."

"Oh, by the way..." his voice took on a casual, conversational tone as he turned his eyes towards the front of the class, "I want my book back."

The soft blush on her face instantly exploded into a full crimson as she shuffled nervously in her chair. Her first attempts at words, came out as nothing more than a mousy squeak, before she managed to stutter out, "Wh-what... b-b-book Nar-naruto-kun?"

"Hinata-chan..." the words were soft but stern as he held his hand up to her expectantly.

Still caught in a hot, full body blush, the girl rummaged around in her over-sized coated then reluctantly handed over a small blue book. The look on her face went beyond sheepish as she gave him a small, hesitant little smile, "S-s-sorry..."

"Its all right Hinata-chan," he smiled back at her now as he brought the book over to him, "Just ASK next time, that book was supposed to go to the old man," he paused a moment, before grinning as he leaned in, whispering lightly into her ear, "Do I need to be worried about you reading this with sticky fingers Hinata-chan?"

The girl seemed to grow even redder if it was possible, shrinking down into her jacket, as if trying to make herself completely invisible as she refused to look him in the eyes. When she didn't say anything he sighed softly and shook his head as he lightly reached behind her and rubbed her back, "Calm down Hinata-chan, I'm just teasing you," he paused a moment before grinning softly, "Though, hmmm... I wonder, how much an autographed, Hyuuga flavored book would sell for..."

The girl couldn't help but let out a soft, strangled whimper as she finally looked at him, pleadingly over the top of her jacket, her wide eyes almost filled with tears as they stared pleadingly at him. Her breaths came heavy and labored, as he watched her, before gently he kept stroking her back, "Easy Hinata-chan, easy..." He sighed, just a bit before looking down into her eyes, "One of these days we're gonna get you over all that."

Gently he reached up and began to stroke her hair soothingly as he waited for her to calm down while he carefully used his other hand to put his book away. After a few moments, when her labored breaths finally slowed down he looked at her again, "Better?"

She nodded quickly, blushing still before she managed a stuttering, "S-sorry N-naruto-kun."

"You're getting better," he offered her a grin as he would keep stroking her hair until she fully extracted herself from her jacket, when his fingers pulled away earning a slight, yearning whimper from the girl as she looked at him like a begging puppy, "I swear Hinata-chan, you're worse than Akamaru about getting petted."

The girl's only response with a pleading little whimper, as those puppy dog eyes returned in full force as she looked pleadingly at him. With a resigned sigh, he reached up and once more began to stroke his fingers through her hair, earning a contented sigh as she leaned over against him, "Thank you Naruto-kun."

"Yeah yeah, you're just trying to ruin my hard earned reputation," He grinned softly as he would lightly caressed his finger a finger just behind her ear, "Though, I will admit, you do make quite the cute pet..."

The blush instantly returned in full forced, though, she giggled softly, a small trickle of blood running down from underneath her nose, veins throbbing around her eyes. Coughing softly into his free hand, he spoke, "If you don't stop staring under my pants Hinata-chan, I'm gonna stop."

"Hehehehe," the girl giggled softly, her eyes distant and only half focused as she lightly licked her drying lips as she would grin in response, getting an eyeful before she would finally deactivate her eyes, "Mmmmm..."

"You're such a pervert Hinata-chan," the blonde boy sighed softly as he looked at her before casually continuing to stroke through her hair as she reddened.

"A-a-and what does that m-make you then Naruto-kun?" she reddened for a moment before grinning shyly back at him.

"Damned good," he winked and laughed as she blushed again, then nodded quietly as they simply sat there, waiting for class to start, or at least trying to.

"Will you two knock it off?" there was an angry growl rumbling past the lips of a pink haired Sakura Haruno as she whipped her head around and glared at the two, "Go be perverted somewhere else!"

"Sorry Haruno," Naruto smirked softly, "No can do, we're here to graduate."

"Ha! You mean like the last two times you tried, dead last?" she glared at him, "Like you could pass!"

Seeing the look of irritation that grew on Hinata's face as she stiffened beneath his fingers, the boy decided to simply nip the problem in the bud, "Don't mind Haruno, Hinata-chan," He grinned as he spoke to her in a stage whisper, "She's still pissed that her precious Sasuke-kun is more interested in what's in my pants than wants in hers."

There was an unintelligible shriek of rage that erupted past the girl's lips as Sakura almost threw herself at the boy in an attempt to beat his skull into a bloody paste. She got as far as getting to her feet before a voice shouted out back at her, "SAKURA! Sit down and calm down! No fighting in class outside of designated combat!"

"But Iruka-sensei!" the girl began, "He started it!"

"Sakura," Iruka just gave her a look, "He was talking to Hinata, at no point in time did he address you or say anything to you until after you spoke to him. If you can't control yourself enough to keep from exploding in class just because of what's said, how can you hope to control yourself during a mission?"

"I..." the girl blushed slightly before looking down, fidgeting lightly where she sat before falling silent.

"Yeesh, Forehead," a blonde haired girl sitting a few seats away called out, her blue eyes sparkling with a bit of sadistic amusement, "You keep acting this way and Sasuke-kun will be all mine before you know it!"

"Ino-pig..." The girl growled back in response as she glared warningly back at the girl.

"Both of you shut up already," the words were cold as they shot out of the mouth of a black haired, black eyed boy who never even bothered to look at them as he spoke, "I have no interest in either of you."

The pair startled as they heard the words come from Sasuke Uchiha's lips before both stared at him with wide eyes and open mouths. With nothing coming past their lips, the boy simply sat there, chin resting against his propped up hands, waiting patiently for class to finally start. All the while, he simply ignored the hurt, confused looks the girls gave him as they seemed at a loss for what to say.

"Mmm... I was wonder how long it was gonna take him to crack," Naruto murmured as he kept stroking his fingers through Hinata's hair.

"Tsk, you're troublesome, you know that Naruto?" a boy with a black spiky pony tail grumbled in the seat next to the blonde.

"And you're lazy Shikamaru, your point?" the boy grinned back as he lounged in his chair himself.

"Just pointing it out," the boy responded with a yawn, "So, passing this time?"

"That's the plan," the boy grinned softly before looking at where Hinata was snuggling against his arm, "At least, as long as Hinata-chan lets me actually get out of my seat."

"Tsk, you're both troublesome," the boy responded before smirking slightly, "Though, at least you're amusing."

"So glad you approve," Naruto chuckled back, ignoring the pouting glare that Hinata shot towards the other boy.

"Naruto-kun," there was a syrupy sweetness to the girl's tone as she smiled up at the blue eyed boy, "Don't you think Shikamaru would make an amusing practice dummy?" she turned her head, and locked her pale eyes onto the other boy, "He's certainly, troublesome enough..."

There was a blink, then another as the dark haired boy gave a blank stare back at Hinata before looking at Naruto, "Tsk, very troublesome."

"Don't look at me, you brought it on yourself," the boy grinned in response.

"Tsk, troublesome," there was a sigh before the boy again just left his head resting on the desk.

"All right class," there was a brief pause in his voice as Iruka stood up, looking across the classroom, "Its time to begin the graduation exam," He paused a moment as he held up a list of names, "To graduation, you'll need to perform the clone technique when you're called to the next room."

And so, it went, each person entering the room one by one. Hinata and Shikamaru had both already gone when it finally came down to Naruto's turn. A slight grin on his face, the boy wandered into the room and stood in front of one of his instructors. Shifting slightly, he stretched back, his head cupping the back of his neck before he spoke up, "Oi, whenever your ready... Hey where's Iruka?"

"He was called away," the silver haired man responded with an easy smile, "I'll be proctoring your exam on your own, how about you show us your clone technique?"

"Whatever you say!" the boy grinned, making the appropriate hand signs before suddenly there was a poof of smoke, and ten Narutos stood around the boy, "That good enough?"

"Looks that way," the man nodded before he gave the boy a grin, "Looks like you're ready to take the real academy graduation test!"

"Huh?" The boy blinked slowly as he looked at the man, cocking his head lightly to the side, "What do you mean the real test? Mizuki-sensei, I never heard anything about this!"

"You're training to be a ninja Naruto!" the man grinned back at him, "You just have to perform a task set out specifically for you, are you ready?"

"Sure, bring it on!" The boy responded smirking softly, "You're not gonna stop me from graduating this time!"

"All right then," The man grinned in response, "Your task is..."

-Several hours later-

"Iruka!" The man in question blinked as he looked up from where he was seated across from Anko in the Dango shop, as he looked up to see a worried looking Mizuki calling out to him, "We have to get to Hokage-sama's! Naruto has taken the scroll of The Forbidden Seal as a prank!"

"What?!" both Iruka and Anko shouted, even as Mizuki was already on his way out, running, leaving the pair to glance at one another with a worried look.

"That doesn't sound like the brat," Anko spoke up, a tinge of worry in her voice, "Some thing's wrong about this."

"Yeah, you're right, but we better get to the Hokage's mansion and see what's going on," Iruka responded with a nod, "Lets go."

It only took the pair a few moments to reach their destination, where they found the old man standing, a frown on his lips as he addressed the crowd, "Yes, the scroll, forbidden by the previous Hokage was removed from the mansion earlier today, if used in a certain way it could cause extreme danger."

The man pause a moment before taking a deep puff from his pipe, "Its already been half a day since the scroll was taken, we must hurry and find Naruto!"

"Dammit, what the hell is going on?" Iruka narrowed his eyes as he growled back to Anko, "Something isn't right about this! I'm gonna head to the cabin in the forest, start west from there and work your way towards me, hopefully we'll find him somewhere between us."

"Right," The woman responded with a nod, noting the worried look in Iruka's eyes, "We'll find the brat, don't worry."

"I hope so," The man paused giving the woman a nod before they separated, each racing off in their own direction to try and find the boy, "What's going on Naruto?"

-In the forest a short time later-

"There you are!" Iruka let off a relieved sigh as he came across a dirtied and scuffed up Naruto, grinning back at him with the scroll strapped against his back.

"Hey Iruka-sensei!" The boy merely grinned back as he stretched lightly, "I guess I passed huh?"

"What the hell were you thinking?! Stealing a forbidden scroll?!" The man growled in response as he glared back at him, "What're you talking about passing? All you had to do to pass was perform a clone technique!"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked this time, a look of uncertainty flashing across those blue eyes, "But Mizuki-sensei said I had to do this as the last test... sneak this scroll, learn a technique from it and show you it!"

Before Iruka could respond, he noticed a sudden flurry of kunai racing towards him. Acting on pure instinct, the man roughly shoved his palm against Naruto's chest, pushing the boy out of the way as the storm of knives slammed into him. Grunting softly in the pain from the impact of those multiple blades, Iruka uncrossed his arms and looked up to find Mizuki smirking down at him from a tree.

"So I see you found the moron," The man smirked before looking over towards Naruto, "Naruto, give me the scroll!"

"What the hell's going on here!" The boy growled as he looked from the bleeding Iruka to the smug looking Mizuki, "Why the hell are you attacking Iruka-sensei!"

"Naruto!" Iruka yelled as he pulled a bloody kunai from his body, "Whatever happens don't give him that scroll! He used you to get his hands on it! It contains a dangerous forbidden technique!"

"There's really no point in you having it Naruto," The silver haired man smirked as he looked down at the boy, I'll tell you the truth... about why everyone in this village hates you."

"No! Don't!" Iruka lurched forward, anger burning in his eyes, "Don't you dare break that law Mizuki!"

"What law, what're you talking about!" Naruto spoke up, confusion evident in his eyes.

"You know about how the nine-tailed fox attacked this village 13 years ago, don't you Naruto," the man spoke up, grinning wickedly at the boy, "The day the Fourth died, the day Iruka's parents were killed, the day a law was placed down on the village to prevent anyone from revealing the truth of what happened that day..."

"Mizuki!" Iruka growled out.

"The nine tails died! The Fourth killed it, everyone knows that!" Naruto snapped back defiantly even as he could feel a growing pit of ice spreading through his stomach.

"Oh No!" Mizuki laughed at that, "The law, the rule... that everyone's afraid to break, is that the nine-tails didn't die. YOU are the nine tails! And the technique on that scroll was used to seal you up!"

"What...?" The boy blinked a bit at that, before canting his head at Mizuki, "That doesn't make sense."

The silver haired man almost dropped the over-sized shuriken he'd whipped out at the boy's calm response, "That's why everyone in the village hates you, that's why they shun you, even Iruka hates you!"

"No, he doesn't," Again the boy spoke up, a pit of anger in his stomach before he shook his head and looked up defiantly at Mizuki, "You can say all the crap you want, but that doesn't make it true! You say everyone hates me? BULLSHIT!"

Anger, was burning in those brilliant blue eyes now as he growled towards the man, "If that was true, I wouldn't have had my friends, I wouldn't have had my sensei, I wouldn't have had the precious moments I cherish. If I was that demon, I wouldn't care for this village, or want to protect the people in it!"

He unslung the scroll from his shoulders and put his palm on it, his eyes dark and warning as his coat fluttered lightly in the night breeze, "I am Naruto Uzumaki, a shinobi of the leaf, and practitioner of BONDAGE STYLE!"

The blonde suddenly let loose a brilliant flare of chakra before a pair of knotted ropes slid down the sleeves of his jacket and into his hands, "And I won't let you take what you want traitor!"

"Heh, so they demon has some claws after all huh?" the man smirked as he grinned wickedly down at the boy, "Well, I'll just have to carve them out before I kill you and run off with that scroll."

"Naruto, run!" Iruka screamed out at the boy as the kid shifted into a loose stance, "Take the scroll and run!"

"Sorry Iruka-sensei, but Anko-chan would kill me if I let you get any more hurt than you already are," the boy responded, "So..."

"Heh, just shut up and die already demon!" Mizuki screamed as he would launch the massive, spinning star in his hand, directly at Naruto.

In a flash the boy was rolling out of the way, as one of his ropes snaked out, the knotted length striking atop the spinning projectile to knock it to slam into the earth far short of where it was originally intended to hit, "Neh, gonna have to do better than that ya piece of shit!" The boy stuck his tongue out at the reddening man, as he would continue to spin the ropes about in his hands.

"Heh, you think that pathetic style's going to stop me?" Mizuki responded as he started to jump down from his tree, only to find himself caught in the path of a bloody kunai embedding itself deep into his arm.

"Forgetting about me already Mizuki?" Iruka smirked ligthly with a slight cough, "I'm not dead yet."

"Bah!" the man snarled as he landed on his feet, roughly pulling the blade out with a smirk, "A wounded chuunin and a not even genin? This won't take long!"

"And how about with a jounin added to the mix?" a cold feminine voice spoke up as a figure stood on a tree above him, her brown eyes smoldering coldly as she glared the man, "Or better yet, how about we make that a pissed off jounin bitch who's boyfriend is bleeding because of YOU!"

As Mizuki took his eyes off of Naruto, to focus on the newly arrived threat of Anko, he suddenly found one rope snapping out, its rough, knotted length rapping about his throat as the other lashed against the top of his thigh just barely enough to propel a knot directly into the man's crotch. As the man began to kneel over, half squealing in pain as he seemed unable to make a choice between struggling against the rope at his throat, and the pain between his legs, Naruto struck.

"What did you call pathetic, Mizuki-chan?" the boy hissed angrily before he started to run, directly at the man's body. Half way there, he again grasped onto the rope, yanking hard on the one attached to the silver haired man's throat, jerking it back to send his body directly into the path of the boy's launched kneed, as it impacted savagely against the side of his face.

For a moment, all he knew was the shock of that impact, before, another struck, two boots, nailing into his stomach as Anko had dropped like a missile directly into the man's body throwing him off balance again. The earth, was a cold, harsh impact, giving nothing of comfort or care as it did not embrace him, choosing to rebuke him in an uncaring manner as his body battered against it. As he struggled to breath, struggled to scream he felt the dull thuds, before his knees exploded into pain as Iruka drove a kunai into each joint.

As the woman stepped off the man's beaten body, the boy would roughly roll him about, ignoring the gurgles of protest that escaped his mouth as he bound the man, palms forced open and spread as ropes were quickly bound intricately over his arms and torso. Grumbling he would glare down at the man, "Insult my style will you? Grrrr..."

"So... I'm gonna take it that he's the reason the brat grabbed the scroll..?" Anko asked curiously over the moaning Mizuki before she sauntered over to Iruka and gave him a casual look, "You know, red doesn't really suit you Iruka."

The man managed a short laugh before he shook his head, "Eh, if the occasion's right I don't mind, better me than Naruto."

"Oh, I see..." then woman turned her attention towards the nervous looking blonde, "And what do you have to say about that blondie?"

"Umm... so, what's this about me and demon foxes?" the boy responded with a nervous grin.

The woman paused a moment, before just glaring venomously down at Mizuki, "He didn't."

"He did," Iruka responded solemly.

"Well brat, sounds like we've got some explanations to go through with you..." the woman responded with a sigh, "Should give us something to do while we wait for the lazy ANBU to arrive. Hmm... Know how people use scrolls to seal kunai and stuff in things?"

The boy merely gave her a slightly vexed look as he pulled off his coat, and turned it inside out, showing her the array of seals built into the fabric. The 'what does it look like' glint in his eyes made the woman feel more than a little sheepish as she nodded and continued, "All right, moving on, basically you're scroll that's got the seal and the nine tails in the kunai, except he can't get out."

"Mmm, I see," the boy shrugged slightly, "I always wondered what the seal on my stomach was for. I just figured it helped make room for all that delicious ramen!"

"I wonder about you sometimes brat, I really do," the woman chuckled softly as she gave the boy a look, "So, where's your headband?"

Iruka coughed softly, into his hand, "It would seem Mizuki mislead about what all he had to do to earn his headband."

"And I would've gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you damned bastards and your bitch!" the man snarled before taking three simultaneous kicks to the head.

"Damned idiot, doesn't know when to quit does he?" Naruto grumbled softly.

"Heh, hey Naruto, come over here and close your eyes," The man grinned softly at the boy, "I've got something to give you."

"Huh? What?" there was a curious note to the boy's words as he turned his head slightly but complied, stepping forward then closing his eyes in front of the man, "What's that Iruka-sensei?"

He felt something shifting about on his forehead and pulling tight at his head, before he could hear Iruka speaking up, "All right Naruto, go ahead and open your eyes."

"Huh?" the boy blinked as he looked up at the smiling faces of Anko and the now headband-less Iruka.

"Congratulations on graduating Naruto," The man smiled as he lightly patted the boy on the shoulder, "We'll go get some ramen later all right?"

"Only if we pick up some dango on the way!" Anko piped up, "Damned bastard ruined my dango fix." Again she glared down at the still subdued Mizuki before crossing her arms about her chest and pouting.

"Sure thing Anko-chan!" the two responded quickly enough, before sighing as they waited for the ANBU to finally arrive.

"So, wanna see who can make him scream the loudest?" Anko suggested innocently enough.

Then and there Mizuki knew, tonight, was going to be a long, painful night. Even discounting the rounds he'd have to endure with Ibiki. Getting caught by Anko with able cohorts, was never, EVER a good thing.

-Several hours later-

"You can come in Naruto," the old man sighed softly as he gave a slight roll of his eyes, even as a soft little smile graced his lips.

"Errr heh," the boy grinned softly as he would lightly slip in to perch on the windowsill, "Sorry about earlier old man."

"Its all right," the Hokage waved it off with a slight smile as he took a puff from his pipe, "You've had quite the eventful evening."

The boy sighed softly as he dropped down into the room before taking a seat against the wall, just beneath the window, "Yeah, I really screwed up huh?"

"Somewhat," the man responded as he pulled a chair over near the boy and took a seat, "You could have gotten confirmation from Iruka, and you should have noticed it was odd that you only had one proctor for your exam instead of the two you were supposed to, but its not too unexpected of a thing."

The man paused, taking a slow, deep puff from his pipe before continuing, "Of course, at the same time you were given a mission as a part of a graduation test. A reasonable addition, and one I have to say, we might actually be adding into the graduation exam in the near future. A mission that you succeeded in I should also say."

"Eh, I'm a ninja, its what I do," the boy responded with a negligent wave of his hand, "No big."

"Naruto, you broke into a Kage's mansion, and made off with an extremely dangerous and important scroll," the man said with a firm look and another puff of his pipe, "And, you would have gotten away with it if you hadn't been told simply to learn a technique from the scroll and report to Iruka. It was very impressive."

"I still messed up," the boy responded quietly, "I should've known better."

"I see," the man paused a moment before looking at the boy, "So, did you manage to learn something from the scroll?"

"Yeah, shadow clones," the boy responded with a shrug, "Interesting and scary for a guy like me to have huh?"

"Oh, and what do you mean by a guy like you Naruto?" the man asked curiously.

"Huge chakra reserves? Close combat preference, " Naruto paused a moment, before reluctantly continuing, "Stuck with a demon in my belly?"

"Ah, I had heard Mizuki let that slip," the man said slowly as he took another slow puff of his pipe.

"Did... sensei know about it?" the asked reluctantly as he looked up at the man.

"Of course she did," the old man responded with a smile and a nod, "She, knew that you weren't the demon. She saw you for who you are, Naruto."

"She wasn't lying when she told me she knew my parents, was she," the boy spoke softly, looking up quietly at the old man who could help but flinch back against the eyes that looked so much like his father's.

"No, she wasn't," the words were soft, rasping past his lips as he suddenly felt a heavy weariness fall on his shoulders, "Your parents... were both very very powerful shinobi Naruto. You need to understand this, they made enemies that to this day would kill you just for being their child."

"In other words, you're not going to tell me anything about them or who they were," there was a soft glare in Naruto's eyes as he looked up at the man who'd been like his grandfather his entire life, coupled with no small amount of hurt.

For a moment Hiruzen Sarutobi fully felt the weight of his years on his shoulders as he would slowly, quietly force his head to nod in agreement, despite the screaming demands of his heart, "I want to Naruto, I really do. Every time I look at you, I can see so much of your father in you, and I want to tell you what kind of man he was, the things he did, who he was, how proud he would be of you."

"If you say so," the boy sighed a bit as he leaned his head back, resting it against the wall, the frustration almost tangible in the air as he would close his eyes, "She was going to tell me about them, when I was older, when I got stronger. I just... Its not knowing... Would things have been different?"

The Third Hokage, the Professor, the God of Shinobi, paused at the boys words, a thickness in his through he could barely force his words through as he looked down into the boy's eyes, "In... what way Naruto?"

"Would they have loved me, or would they have pushed me away like most everyone else?" the guilt on his words made the air thick, heavy as it wrapped around him. He knew that parents were supposed to accept and love their children unconditionally, that they were supposed to care for them no matter what. But, at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder.

The old man lowered himself to his knees then, quietly and wordlessly wrapping the boy in his arms, and pulling him to his chest, as he could feel the hot tears beginning to run down the boy's cheeks, and down his own. For a moment, he couldn't bring himself to speak, couldn't bring himself to say much of anything at all before finally he some how found the strength to speak, "They LOVED you Naruto, do not doubt that, ever. The look in your father's eyes when he first held you, the look in your mother's..."

He pulled back then, and looked fiercely down into Naruto's eyes, "They LOVED you Naruto. Never, EVER doubt that. They wouldn't, COULDN'T push you away. You were a part of them, and I know, that they're proud of the man you're becoming."

Slowly, the boy nodded his head, a soft look of gratitude on his features as he gave the old man a tight squeezing hug before pulling back, offering a slight smile on his lips as he carefully rubbed the tears from his eyes, "Thanks old man..."

"Its all right Naruto," he gently ran his fingers through the boy's hair before lightly patting him on his back, "Go on and get some sleep, you've got to get your ID taken tomorrow and meet your team, remember?"

"Yeah, I know..." he stood up, moving himself into the window before looking back at the old man, "You will tell me about my parents one day old man... Just... make sure you don't die and leave me with nothing."

And with that, and a flutter of his trench coat, Naruto Uzumaki slipped out into the night, leaving behind a man, who could feel nothing but the press of time, and the weight of the burden the boy had left him as he whispered into the night, "I know Naruto... You deserve to know about them both... without having to live in the shadows of their legend."

Quietly, the man shut the window then settled down at his desk, brush and ink in hand as he began to write. This was one thing, he would not let Naruto down on. On this one thing, he would make certain not even death would stop him. Some day, he would know who his parents were, and what he came from.

-End Note-

Ok, its a little shorter than I like my chapters to be, but, I couldn't bring myself to continue on from there, just felt... write to end it like I did.

Things lighten up again during the next chapter, hopefully at least.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Naruto is still not mine

Author's Note: Getting back into the swing of things it seems

Begin!

"I expected something more... " Sarutobi paused a moment as he looked over the picture ID he held in his hands, "Extravagant."

"What...?" the blonde boy grinned ever so innocently back at the Hokage, "You should know by now, I live to defy expectations! Unpredictability is one of a ninja's greatest strengths after all!"

"True enough," the old man chuckled in return, "And you do love to live up to that don't you Naruto?"

"Who, me?" there was an almost cherubic innocence in the boy's eyes as he smiled back at the man, "So, team assignments are tomorrow?"

As the man glanced over the serious looking Naruto in the photograph in his hand, he tried to reconcile it with the almost bouncing bundle of energy seated in front of him. An amusing consideration was quickly filed away in the back of his mind. Whatever it would have been that he asked next, was quickly thrust aside as the door to the room was thrown open with a shout.

"Defend yourself old-HEY!" the small form of a dark-haired boy rocketed face first toward the floor in front of the Hokage, he suddenly found himself hogtied in mid-air before being slammed down onto the hardwood floor, a foot planted firmly on his back.

"So, been stealing candy from the kiddies again old man..." Naruto sent a teasing smirk towards Sarutobi as he stood over the bound boy, "Didn't you learn the last time?"

The old man was caught between a chuckle and a sigh, "My grandson, Konohamaru."

"Honored grandson!" there was a momentary, shrill shriek as a sunglasses wearing man jumped into the hallway outside the door, jabbing his finger in Naruto's Direction, "Unhand him, you monster!"

"Yeah! Lemme go!" the boy demanded, "You might've gotten lucky with this trap, but-Ow!"

'Naruto pulled his hand back from where he'd smacked the boy's head, "Shut up you idiot," those suddenly hard eyes turned onto the pointing man, "And who the hell are you calling a monster you moron?"

"I am the elite tutor of the honored grandson of our Hokage!"the man declared proudly as he suddenly stood almost at attention, "Now let him go!"

Naruto just gave the man a look before he rapped the bound boy on the head once more, "Listen up ya dumb punk," the blue eyed boy completely ignored the look of shocked outrage that showed up on the tutor's face as he addressed the boy again, "Do you have any idea how stupid that was hmmm? Jumping out of a door, threatening the leader of our village without warning! You TRYING to get yourself killed?"

The boy paused a moment before turning and glaring at the man, "And YOU!" he declared, pointing a finger directly at the man's face, "What kind of elite tutor treats their student like that?!" Naruto removed his foot from the boy's back before he practically stomped over to the man, "You TRYING to turn him into a spoiled brat that'll get himself killed in his first year?"

"Wh-I- errr" the man was suddenly at a loss for words at the dressing down he was getting from a 13-year old boy, "I mean that is..."

"Don't think YOU'RE getting out of this old man!" the finger suddenly jerked over, moving away from the aghast tutor to jab in the Hokage's direction, "What the hell have you been putting in that pipe of yours to let a brown nosing moron like this dumb-ass train your grandson."

The Hokage actually looked slightly mollified as he ducked his head slightly, his hat coming down to cover his eyes in a half mumble "It was actually the council's idea..."

"You're the Hokage!" Naruto growled, "You know better than anyone that a spoiled brat has no place in the life of a shinobi! So, unless you want to outlive your grandson, either have that guy take his head out of his ass, or get someone else to train the kid."

Grumbling still, he gave the group a snort, before turning and walking out of the room, waving his hand casually, "I'm gonna go blow off some steam..."

"Should I alert the ANBU?" the old man called back wearily.

"Nah, I'll make sure they know."

A cold shiver of fear ran down the old man's neck as he couldn't help but shake his head, "I really wish he wouldn't put it that way."

"Hokage-sama!" the man instantly stood up rigidly, "I will immediately discipline that fool for his insolence!"

"Ebisu," the old man spoke up simply and casually, "I would suggest, for your own sake that you attempt no such thing," for a moment, the old man's eyes flickered to where his grandson was squirming his way out of the loosening bonds he was bound in, before suddenly slipping out of the room, no doubt in pursuit of Naruto, "The betting pool frowns on outsiders trying to get in on the action."

"The... betting pool?"

The old man nodded with a casual slant of his head, "Yes, the betting pool. Who his next prank will be on, how long the chase will last, if he's actually caught or not... Various other things, down to specific people being singled out."

"B-b-but... He insulted you Hokage-sama! He insulted your grandson! He insulted me!" there was another brief return on that shrill tone to his words as he spoke up angrily.

"He told the truth," the old man gave an annoyed glance at the tutor, "And given my grandson's actions, I'm beginning to wonder about what kind of future he'd have if left in your care."

"But, but Hokage-sama, the council!" the man sputtered.

"Ebisu, there are no shortcuts to becoming Hokage," the old man spoke softly before he turned and looked the man hard in the eyes, "And from what I've seen, my grandson only seems to be finding himself at greater distance from that goal than closer. I would suggest you seriously reevaluate your teaching approach."

"But, Hokage-sama, I'm well known as a prominent tutor to future Hokage candidates!" the man argued back.

"And yet, here I am, still Hokage," the man responded simple, "Which begs the question on just who's calling you such a prominent tutor, now doesn't it?"

As the man shuffled some papers around on his desk, he looked about a moment before observing, "I see that my grandson has managed to escape his bonds and made a run for it, you might want to hurry up and find him, Ebisu."

The man blinked a moment, before groaning out loud, "Not again!" and with that he was off, searching for the boy.

After a moment of tranquil calm, a sudden eruption of shouts and screams was heard in the distance. Taking a long, drawn out puff from his pipe, the man flipped open a small back book to check over some numbers, "Ah, I see... ANBU... Today... That sounded like either paint or cream screams... Too loud to be smoke screams, and not outraged enough to be underwear screams..."

The man paused a moment, a slight trickle of blood beading at his nose as he imagined the last time the boy had purloined kunoichi underwear, "Ah, good times... But hmmm... Looks like Inoichi won this round. Hmmm..."

The old man couldn't help but grin wickedly, "Oh, what the hell, might as well!"

And with that he went back to the final team rosters and began a slow, wicked chuckle, his eyes gleaming with delight, "This, should definitely prove interesting, besides, the boy earned a nice present... Heh heh heh..."

As the man grinned in delight at his plot, outside, a far different scene was taking place. A swarm of ANBU had assembled, their bodies and uniforms dripping with thick pink foam as they raced after a single figure. A single, cackling figure who raced and bounced across the roof tops, leading his pursuers on a merry chase.

"Come on! Come on!" He laughed back at the angry group, as they raced after him, "Are you guys ANBU or genin?!"

"When I get my hands on you...!" one of the lead ninja's growled as he raced towards the boy.

"Yeah yeah yeah, "the boy chuckled softly as he would duck around into an alley, bouncing from side to side as the ninjas raced to catch him, "IF you get your hands on me!"

He raced along the side of a building then, running from wall to wall, leading them in a circle as he wickedly smiled as he saw he was coming up on the back of the pack. Racing just behind the last person, he asked in a casual, cheerful tone, "So, who we chasing?"

"The damned Uzumaki brat, again!" the man panted back, not even bothering to look back at the boy.

"Oh, what'd he do THIS time?" Naruto asked back, grinning wickedly as he held back a snicker.

"Explosion of pink foam in the ANBU headquarters... its gonna take forever to get the color out!" the man groused

"I don't know, Konoha's pink guard does have a nice ring to it..." the boy said mischievously.

"What the hell are you..." the man finally threw his head back over his shoulder, to see the target right behind him, leading the front of the pack right at him, "YOU!"

"Me!" he grinned happily as he waved back at the man, before dashing forward, beginning to make his way through the pack, slapping a tag here and there to an occasional side or back before they realized what was happening and he darted off to the side, laughing as he raced down the street.

"Come on, come on! Hurry up or you'll never catch me!" He grinned, jumping from a rooftop as he twirled his body around for a moment, facing them all as he made a sign, priming and detonating the tags he'd slapped through the middle of the of the group.

Immediately blasts of glue and feathers exploded from alternating tags, sticking to various members of the mini mob as only those at the outer edges were spared the full wrath. Those in the middle however, earned the ANBU a new nickname as they raced down the street after the boy. Though, very few would call one of the elite ninjas a feather duster to their face.

Finally, after several fruitless hours of chase, tempers finally cool and with a resigned frustration, the ANBU reluctantly broke off what had for the last last hour been a desperate man hunt after the boy had evaded the group, and they'd lost his trail. When they did finally return to their headquarters, resigned to the task of cleaning up after yet another infamous Uzumaki prank, they quite the surprise. The place had been cleaned spotless, with a number of bowls of ramen laid out on one table, and various bottles of solvent for the glue on their uniforms.

It might've been enough to placate them and reduce their ire to a resigned amusement. It might've even left them half interested in what he'd do the next time he pulled something like this. Of course, all that was thrown out the window the minute they started to read through the pages titled "Performance Review" the boy had somehow managed to write up.

Thirteen year olds are rarely known for their tact, Naruto Uzumaki was known for being particularly blunt and unapologetic. Reading a 15 page report, detailing a lackluster response time, speed, conditioning, alertness and other factors on its own was aggravation enough. Being called an out of shape, unaware, feather duster, didn't happen to sit too well with one of the captains. Nor did the fact that there was a note letting them know that the Hokage had already received his own copy of said report.

There were many more screams of rage that day, though, some of the newer members took a perverse glee in seeing themselves marked for more outstanding moments when they'd nearly captured the boy, or hadn't been fooled like the rest by some of his tricks.

In his office, the Hokage chuckled softly as he read through the pages of Naruto's review, just before a trio of ANBU burst into his office, the lead one suddenly freezing in his tracks as he caught sight of the document already in the man's hands, "Ah, hello there gentlemen, I was just about to start a little bit of reading," he smiled innocently, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Err, yes Hokage-sama," one of the men spoke up quickly, "We need you to come to ANBU headquarters, right away!"

"Oh? Has something happened?" the man was lightly puffing at his pipe, schooling his features to neutrality as he blinked at the men.

"Yes! It was Uzumaki!"another of the men spoke up quickly.

"What did he do this time?" Sarutobi sighed as he seemed to be putting the "Review" down.

"Its... you have to see for yourself Sir!" finished the third.

"Hmmm... would it have anything to do with this lovely little review he wrote up for me?" The man casually flipped through the pages, "Where several of the ANBU following him managed to, and I quote 'have their heads so far up their asses,' he was able to 'tag a third of them without them even realizing what was going on', while running through the middle of a group of you, and then broke free, to remotely detonate several glue and feather tags?"

The three winced, and hung their heads, before quietly nodding, as one of them finally spoke up in resignation, "Yes, Sir."

"Mmm... quite the review a genin has managed to put together about the current condition of our ANBU forces, wouldn't you say?"

Again, all three winced at once, before giving slow, weak nods.

"Well then, since he bought you dinner, and left solvent for the glue, AFTER cleaning up the mess he made in your headquarters, I think I'll let things go for now," the old man said simply as he took a slow deep puff on his pipe.

"But Hokage-sama, you can't just let him get away with this!" one of the men spoke up fervently.

Sarutobi only arched a brow in response as he simply gave the man a look, "Apparently, you misunderstand what I'm saying," he paused a moment before taking a deep puff from his pipe before continuing, "I'm going to let it go, that a 13 year old recent academy graduate managed to prank not only ANBU headquarters, but a group of ANBU themselves, and not only not get caught, but was able to in turn return back to that headquarters without being seen to clean up the mess he made, write up this lovely review and buy you dinner."

All three men paled underneath their masks, a decided lump in their throats as they heard their leader continue, "But, I do expect the NEXT Performance Review to be far more impressive, am I clear?"

"The NEXT one Sir?" one of the men squeaked fearfully.

"Oh yes, the NEXT one," there was an amused glint in the man's eyes, "And you're all dismissed gentlemen, enjoy your ramen."

The three men, all grumbled softly with a nod, before closing the door behind them, just in time for the Hokage to allow himself to burst in a wide grin as he allowed himself a soft chuckle, "Ah Naruto, what would I do without you?"

Grinning softly, he made sure to set aside a proper B-class mission payment for the boy's little impromptu review, it had proven to be quite, illuminating, both to himself and the ANBU forces. He had a feeling the newly dubbed "feather dusters" wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon.

-Early the next Morning-

A loud rapping knock woke the sleeping Naruto with a grumble as he rubbed his fingers across his eyes. Releasing a loud yawn, he stumbled across his apartment, before barking off a grumbling, "I'm coming already!"

"Hurry up already brat!" a rather familiar voice called out as he couldn't help but groan softly in recognition.

"Dammit Anko!" the boy groused as he pulled the door open, glaring with sleep glazed eyes at the broadly grinning woman, "What the hell do you want so god damned early!?"

"Eesh, someone's in a bad mood," the woman grinned as she sauntered into his apartment uninvited, "So, this is the abode of the arch enemy of the 'feather dusters' huh?"

"Feather dusters?" the boy blinked, eyes still glazed as he fought back a yawn, "Arch enemy?"

"You do remember the stunt you pulled yesterday, don't you brat?" the woman grinned as she pulled up a chair watching as the boy scratched at his shirt covered side.

"Hence why I was still SLEEPING," the boy spat back, "You know, with the nice warm bed, and the pillows, and the nice bliss of unconsciousness? The thing people do after they exhaust themselves?"

"Yeah yeah," the woman waved off the boy's grumblings with a negligent flick of her wrist, "Quit being a wuss already and have a seat," she paused a moment, before adding with a grin, "Nice boxers by the way."

"Mmm?" the boy glanced down at the toad print boxers before shrugging softly, "Mmm, Hinata-chan got em for me."

The woman twitched slightly as he eyed the boy speculatively, "Thirteen and having girls buy underwear for you?"

"No, 13, and having the Hyuuga clan heiress buying underwear for me," the boy corrected with a sleepy smirk as he walked over to put a kettle on the stove, "Can't trust random girls, can't trust where they've been and all."

"Kid... " the woman just shook her head before barking off a loud chuckle, "You never cease to amaze."

"If I did, I wouldn't be me now would I?" the boy grinned back as he stretched out lightly then ducked his head into his pantry, "Mmm... Ramen..."

"Dango!" the woman called back tauntingly as she smirked where she sat.

"Ramen!" the boy countered, holding up a package of instant ramen in his hand.

"Dango!" the woman responded with a smirk, as she began to toss emptied dango skewers at the boy.

"Ramen!" the boy countered, catching and deflecting the skewers with the package.

"Bah, you're no fun if you don't let me make a pincushion out of you," the woman pouted with a grin.

"So..." he started, as he pulled the skewers from the package, wincing some as he saw the busted noodles inside, "What brings you here to drag my ass out of my nice, comfortable bed at this ungodly hour Anko-chan?"

"The new Naruto dart board in the ANBU lounge, some questions, and I wanted to get here before you're too busy with your snuggle happy pet heiress," she smirked back at him as she lounged carelessly in her chair.

"You should be careful, Iruka-sensei might get jealous," the boy grinned back at her.

"Of you? Don't count on it squirt," the woman grinned back at the boy.

"Oooooh, tell me Anko-chan..." the boy suddenly took on a rather wicked smirk as he watched her from the kitchen, "Do you, REALLY want to give me that challenge?"

The woman paused, looking at the boy with narrowed eyes that seemed to glint with a malicious promise, she was all too familiar with, at least from the other side. She considered before grumbling as she shook her head, "Even I'm not THAT crazy brat."

"Good to know!" The boy responded cheerfully as he dropped the noodles into a bowl and waited for the water to heat up, "So, feather dusters?"

"Heh, guess you haven't heard then," the woman grinned back at him, "That's ANBU's new nick name after your little stunt with the feather and glue tags."

"Oh boy," there was a soft groan as the woman could hear him, banging his head softly against the counter top, "Now I KNOW they're gonna kill me."

"Nah, they can't do anything to ya," the woman grinned as she held up an envelope and tossed it to the boy, "The Hokage wanted me to give ya that."

"Eh?" curiously the blonde opened up the envelope and then blinked, before blinking again as he read the letter inside of it, "Oi... Dammit, I knew that last bit was too much."

"Heh, that last bit saved your ass kid," the woman grinned back at him as she chuckled, "The Hokage's decided to commission you to do random 'evaluations' of ANBU and various other shinobi groups in Konoha."

"Wait..." the boy paused a moment, letting the information slowly sink into his mind as the last bit of sleep seemed to leave him, "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I don't know..." the woman responded casually, her nails suddenly becoming the most interesting thing she could find, "What do you think it means?"

"A license to prank any ninja group from Konoha, as long as I submit a report of my 'findings' to the Hokage," the boy grinned down right evilly as he lightly licked his lips.

"Which, brings me to my next bit of news," the woman responded as she grinned back at the boy, "I'm going to be a jounin sensei!"

The boy blinked a moment, before narrowing his eyes and pouting, "Dammit, you're doing that just so I can't get you."

"Who, me?" the woman smiled back at him with her eyes fluttering, "Do I seem the type to abandon a sinking ship, leaving my comrades to their fate?!"

"Nope, you're the type to switch ships in port, so you don't get caught in the storm you know's coming," the boy countered before pausing, "Meh, I hate you."

"Mmm," the woman paused, lightly tapping her lip in consideration, "Who knows, I could even get an all kunoichi team! Train the girls to be REAL kunoichi, give them uniforms, have them practicing their skills with you as the practice dummy..."

"... I hate you, very much," the boy growled as he dug into his noodles, grumbling softly.

"Blame Iruka," the woman shrugged, "He's the one that got me all fired up about teaching."

"Blaming Iruka sounds good," the boy nodded as he finished off his noodles, "Limitations?"

"Hmmm," Anko tapped her lips lightly with one finger before shrugging, "No damaging the goods."

"Sounds fair," the boy responded with a nod as he stretched out before pulling off his shirt and scratching his side as he walked towards his bathroom, "I'm taking a shower, if you want a bowl of ramen feel free."

"What, I can't watch?" the woman grinned back at the boy as he turned his head then just gave her a look.

"Pedo," he grumbled softly before locking himself in his bathroom.

"You're no fun!" the woman shot back.

"I'm tons of fun!" the muffled response could be heard, "I just prefer my fun in nice healthy ways, instead of being gawked at by drooling psycho bitches!"

"Yeah, yeah, you know you love me!"

"Only because I was apparently dropped on my head as a child, a lot!"

A few minutes later, Naruto was enjoying the hot water rushing down over his body, as he took a moment to consider his options. He knew today was the day, his first real day of being a ninja. It was an exciting and at the same time frightening experience all at once.

This was his first real step towards achieving his goal, and proving the power of his style.

Unable to suppress his grin, he finished up his shoulder, before quickly toweling dry and going about the rest of his morning routine. Pulling his boxers quickly back up, he yawned once more before walking out of the bathroom, toweling off his head. Only to blink in surprise when he found the blushing form of Hinata sitting in a chair next to the widely grinning Anko.

For a moment, the boy, simply blinked, canting his head to the side as he looked from girl to woman, "Huh, maybe I should've left my boxers in the bathroom after all."

"N-naruto-kun!" the pale eyed girl's blush almost seemed pure crimson as she stared back at him, a small drop of blood hanging down from her nose before she turned away, starting to giggle softly as she stared off into the distance.

"Heh, you sure have a way with women huh brat?" Anko chuckled as she watched the way the girl quickly became lost in her own little fantasy, "She normally like this?"

"Only when she's thinking about what's in my boxers," the boy responded with a shrug, as the girl seemed to blush even more at the comment, though seemed to not notice otherwise as she kept staring off into space, "She'll wake up eventually, or I'll start petting her and she'll wake up. One of the two."

"Petting her?" that brought a chuckle past the womans' lips as she would cant her head lightly to the side, mimicking the boy's usual gesture, "My, how... kinky."

"Stroking her hair you perv," he chuckled as he pulled one of his mesh shirts down over his head, and stretched it across his his chest and arms, "She's like a little puppy sometimes, I swear."

Unfortunately for Naruto, Hinata's mind immediately latched onto that idea as she began to mumble, just loud enough for Anko to hear, "Oh yes, I've been a naughty naughty puppy... Naruto-kun should punish his naughty puppy... mmm... yesssss Naruto-kun..."

Anko, blinked a moment, before suddenly found herself struggling to hold back her laughter, her warm brown eyes shining with amusement as she quickly grew red from the exertion, "Oh... hehe... I think, little Hinata-chan, agrees with you there brat!"

"Eh?" The boy blinked as he was pulling up his pants, looking over to where Hinata was lost in her happy little world, mumbling and nodding eagerly to herself as the small trickle of blood grew beneath her nose, "What's she saying?"

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that..." the woman grinned back, her face still red from the exertion to hold in her laughter, "A lot of blackmail material and what not."

"You wouldn't be thinking of threatening MY Hinata-chan, now would you Anko-'chan'?" he put a particular emphasis on that last syllable as his eyes grew frosty.

"Oh, YOUR Hinata-chan?" the woman grinned back leaning slightly forward, "And what makes you think that, huh brat?"

"Easy," the boy turned his attention towards the Hyuuga girl as he fasted his pants into place, before calling in a firm clear tone, "Hinata-chan! Heel!"

The girl instantly perked up as he called her name, her glazed eyes immediately locking onto his, before at his command, she barely had time to nod as she bounded off the chair and almost leapt over to his side, quickly nuzzling against him. Smirking back at Anko, he ran his fingers through the girl's hair, "Good girl Hinata-chan."

"N-nar-naruto-kun...?" the girl blinked as she came out of her daze, blushing softly as she pressed lightly back against his stroking fingers, happily tightening her grip on his body, "Mmm... Naruto-kun's so warm... mmmm...."

"See, told you," The boy smirked back at the gaping Anko.

"But... what... HOW?!" the woman only stared at the boy and the quietly blushing girl that pressed so eagerly against him.

"Well, the truth is.." he smiled as he leaned a bit closer, his voice carrying in a stage whisper, "...Its a secret."

"I swear brat... " the woman growled softly as she glared back at the boy, "One of these days..."

"You'll realize how hopelessly out classed you are by the magnificence that is me?" the boy grinned back at her innocently before looking down at the girl clinging to his side, "Hinata-chan, could you get my coat for me? You know where I tend to leave it."

The girl gave a little whimper as she looked up at the boy, snuggling tighter against his chest as she looked up at him, wordlessly, pleadingly as she rubbed her cheek against his chest. With a sigh he looked down at her, "Please Hinata-chan? For me?"

For a moment, the girl sniffled softly, resisting before she looked up into those gentle blue eyes and felt herself just melting. With a reluctant little nod, she let go of him before scampering off to his closet as quickly as she could. After watching her go, the boy turned back to Anko and gave her a simple, firm look as he sat down and began to pull his socks and boots on, "Mine."

"So I see kid, so I see..." the woman shrugged a bit as she looked at the boy, "Not sure how healthy that is though."

He shrugged a bit and gave her a look, "We're shinobi, there isn't much healthy about most of our lives, remember?"

"True enough I suppose kid," the woman nodded before she gave him a look, "Just make sure she doesn't become a liability."

"She won't," the boy responded as he quickly finished with his boots, "She just needs someone to care for while she gets her confidence back."

"Sure Romeo, sure," Anko chuckled as she watched Hinata clutching Naruto's black coat to her chest as she shyly brought it back up to him.

"Thank you Hinata-chan," he said with a smile, casually taking the coat from her as he felt its comfortable embrace wrapping about his body before he lightly ran his fingers through the girl's hair.

The girl grinned in response before, suddenly pushing the boy down onto his couch and climbing into his lap and curling up against his chest with a contented sigh, "You're welcome Naruto-kun."

"Well, she knows what she wants at least, right Anko-chan?" the boy responded with a laugh as he lightly resumed stroking the girl's hair.

"All right, I'll leave you two cuddle monsters alone for the time being," she chuckled just a bit as she watched the happy blush on Hinata's face as the girl nuzzled underneath the boy's chin, "Don't forget to show up for your team selections though."

"Heh, tell her, not me!" the boy grinned softly as he would lightly wrap up the girl in his arms, "She's the one determined to turn me into her teddy bear!"

"I WAS talking to her," Anko smirked back, "And it looks far more like she wants to have you make her, YOUR teddy bear."

Hintata blushed heavily at that before shaking her head and giving Anko a pointed look, "Nope, his puppy!"

"Heh, just make sure you remember her tags and leash then brat!" the woman barked off a laugh as she watched the two with amusement in her eyes, "Otherwise, you might just find yourself in trouble with the Inuzukas for stealing their bit."

"I'll take Hinata-chan over Akamaru any day," the boy shot back at the departing woman, "She smells much nicer."

The teasing grin he sent down at the girl was returned with a blush and a light poke of the finger against his stomach, "If that's all you like about me, maybe I should see how Kiba treats HIS puppies hmm?"

"You're just trying to talk yourself into a collar Hinata-chan," the boy teased back as he lightly continued to stroke his finger through her hair.

"So?" the girl blushed in response as she turned her soft pale eyes onto him with full puppy force, "Haven't I earned it Naruto-kun?"

"Your father would kill me," the boy reminded her gently as he stroked her hair, "Remember?"

"Mmm..." the girl blushed for a moment, before she silently activated her eyes, making sure no one was watching as she reached into her jacket and pulled out an aged photograph, "He's not one to talk Naruto-kun."

"Huh...?" the boy blinked in response, before he looked down and twitched slightly as looked at the picture, his sensei, standing in her favorite outfit, holding onto a leash, leading to... Hinata's father Hiashi, bare chested and kneeling in nothing more than a pair of black leather pants, "Ok... I guess you do take after your father more than I thought..."

The girl only blushed even wilder as she pressed back against his body, "So Naruto-kun?"

The boy coughed a bit as the girl nuzzled more against him, "Lemme think about it Hinata-chan," he said gently and stroked her hair, "Lets make sure we can be an effective ninja team first, all right?"

A look of disappointment flashed across the girl's eyes, before she gave a reluctant nod, "All right Naruto-kun," the then narrowed those beautiful pale eyes as she gave him a slight glare, "But you better not keep me waiting too long!"

"Wouldn't dream of it Hinata-chan, wouldn't dream of it," he chuckled as he kept stroking the girl, holding her close, cuddling her until it was finally time for them to head to the academy for their assignments.

-At the Ranch-err Academy-

"All right everyone, take your seats, I'll begin calling out your three man teams," Iruka spoke up, just before he was grabbed from behind and pushed down into his chair, "Hey-what... Anko!"

"Don't mind your instructor kids, he's just forgetting that he's supposed to be staying off his feet, doctor's orders and all," the spiky haired woman grinned, hips cocked lightly to the side as she stood in front of the class, ignoring the gawking stares more of the boys were giving her, "So, I'm here to make sure he follows the doctor's orders!"

"Anko..." the man growled softly as the woman, stood over him.

"Now, now, let nurse Anko make sure you're a good boy!" the grinned before slipping down into his lap, and smirking back at the room, "Gotta make sure he stays off his feet after all."

"If she's a nurse, fill me up a prescription for love!" the wild haired Kiba Inuzuka called out with a quiet howl.

"Careful, or this nurse might just right out a prescription for a dog boy to get fixed!" Anko shot back, a kunai twirled about her finger, "The old fashioned way."

"Errr, right," Iruka coughed softly as he shifted about in his chair, finding himself enjoying his position just a bit too much, "Now, lets get on with the team assignments."

"Hmm now lets see here..." the woman plucked the clipboard out of her boyfriend's hand, "Mmm, yes, yes... Iiiiinteresting!" The wicked giggle that escaped her lips echoed through the room as the assorted genin couldn't help but feel a shiver racing down their spines, "Heheheh."

"Bad Anko," the man grunted as he would reproachfully tug the clipboard out of the woman's hands, "All right, Team 1 will be..."

"Poor Iruka-sensei," Naruto chuckled just a bit as he leaned against Hinata, "Anko really likes him."

"Yes, she does," the girl nodded and grinned, "She's just marking what's hers Naruto-kun."

"Oh?" the boy arched a brow as he looked down at the girl snuggling at his side, "Do I need to be worried about you doing the same?"

"Oh no, Naruto-kun!" the girl responded with an aghast expression on her face, "I'm waiting for you to mark me as yours!"

"I see," the boy responded neutrally as he lightly pet the girl atop her head.

"Team 7 will be Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Sasuke Uchiha, your jounin instructor will be here for you after lunch," Iruka spoke up.

"Be ready for a loooooong wait," Anko added impishly, "He's Never on time."

Several groans could be heard from various female hopefuls as they realized that none of them had ended up on the same team as Sasuke, much to their chagrin. Smirking softly, Naruto leaned in as he whispered softly into Hinata's ear, "Looks like Sasuke gets the kind of team he'd want."

Hinata giggled softly in response as she nodded, listening as Iruka continued, "Team 8 will be Shikamaru Nara, Sakura Haruno, and Chouji Akimichi, your jounin instructor will also be here after lunch..."

"Hope you like the smell of smoke!" Anko added in with a grin as she casually ran a finger over the scar running over Iruka's nose.

"Ahem," Iruka coughed as he gave a pointed look at Anko, "Team 9 is still in circulation from last year, so, Team 10 will be Hinata Hyuuga, Naruto Uzumaki, and Ino Yamanaka , your jounin instructors..."

"Are me and Nai-chan!" Anko grinned as she jumped up from Iruka's lap as another, dark haired, and red eyed woman swirled into view, "So, gather round girls and boy!"

"Hey, how come he gets to be around all the babes and I'm stuck with bug boy and stuck up his ass!?" Kiba demanded.

His lips twitching, Naruto looked pleadingly at Anko, before she gave a small little nod in permission, "Hey, can I help it if I'm just that damned good Inuzuka?" that innocent grin curled on his lips as he casually guided Hinata to her feet, his arm wrapped gently about the small of her back, "Some of us actually know how to treat a lady."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Kiba growled back.

"Ask your sister," The boy shot back as he gave a light bow to Ino as she strutted past, her lips curled in a slight grumble before she nodded in acknowledgment, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be going now, to the tender mercies Iruka-sensei knows so well!"

Iruka was struggling himself now, trying to hold back his own laughter as he watched the show, before looking back at the groups with a grin, "All right, make sure you all make me proud!"

"How the hell does he get all the luck?!" Kiba's scream could be heard echoing through the halls, following after the group of four.

However, the instant they were out of sight, the smirk on Naruto's face instantly fell as he pointed a finger at Anko, "No, that was NOT an invitation."

"What, did I say anything?" she responded in amusement as she turned her head towards the other woman, "Nai-chan, did I say anything at all?"

"No, I don't believe you did," Kurenai admitted, before taking a moment to study the boy in front of them, "However, I don't think you needed to."

"Whaaaa?" the wicked grin lay spread across the spiky haired woman's face as she leered back at Kurenai, "Whatever could you possibly mean Nai-chan?"

"Um, someone mind telling me what's going on?" there was a nervousness to Ino's voice as she spoke up, eying Naruto and the two women warily.

"Anko-chan here has nothing even remotely resembling mercy," Naruto jerked his thumb in the brown eyed woman's direction, "She's a crazy bitch, who likes to dump snakes on people for fun."

"Now, now, you're going to give her a bad impression of me!" the woman grinned back at the boy, her eyes alight with ill concealed mischief, "And on the first day too!"

"Kurenai-sensei," Naruto spoke up, pointedly ignoring the pouting Anko was giving him, "I'm going to assume that you're here to keep her from getting us killed?"

"Well, I don't believe it was put quite so bluntly," there was a pause as the red eyed woman lightly tapped her lip, "But, that does sound like the general gist of the situation."

"She can't be THAT bad can she?" the blonde girl spoke up in a tone of protest, her blue eyes wide as she would look carefully at Anko, "I mean, I know she's dressed like a slut and everything, draped herself all over Iruka-sensei like a whore and -Mmph!"

Ino's words were quickly cut off by a sudden rubber ball being shoved into her mouth as she found her wrists, tied behind her back and her ankles bound together, as her eyes widened in shock, she suddenly found herself, tossed over Naruto's shoulder and hauled away. As she began to struggle and protest, she was greeted with the sight of just why he'd done what he did. There was Anko, fire burning in her eyes, and kunais in hand, struggling against Kurenai as she attempted to give chase.

"BRING THAT LITTLE BIMBO BACK HERE!" The angry screech continued as she woman struggled over and over again, "CALLING ME A SLUT AND A WHORE?! LET GOOO!"

"S-s-sorry Anko-sensei, b-but..." Hinata bowed quickly to the still struggling woman before she reached out, striking a series of points on the woman's body, draining her of her strength, "Y-y-you s-s-shouldn't try to kill Ino-san," the girl paused a moment before those pale eyes hardened, "Especially when she's being carried by my Naruto-kun!"

With that, the normally shy and reserved Hinata Hyuuga gave a sudden, swift kick to the still struggling woman's shin before crossing her arms about her chest.

"OOOOW! DAMMIT! You little bitch!" Anko seethed as she turned her attention to the little girl standing next to her.

"Anko-sensei," the girl's voice took in a peculiar twist, eerily familiar to Anko herself as she looked up into the woman's eyes with a calm, sweet, almost sadistic little smile, "Did you know, that with the right Gentle Fist strike, I can destroy your ability to feel anything between your legs?"

Both women suddenly froze as they looked down at the girl smiling so sweetly up at them, as she would reach out and with one finger, lightly tap against the front of Anko's skirt, "All it takes, is one strike, and a bit of chakra. From what I understand, its quite painful... causes every nerve to suddenly ignite all at once... then simply... burn out," her eyes crinkled a bit, "I would hate to think of just what that could do to someone, wouldn't you?"

Slowly, both Anko and Kurenai found themselves nodding as the spiky haired woman stilled her struggles, gulping audibly, as she shakily nodded her head, "Yes... that doesn't sound pleasant at all."

"I know!" the girl nodded her head, before carefully sauntering off, "I'm going to go find Naruto-kun and Ino-san, so what training ground do we need to meet you at?"

"Um, 13..." Kurenai spoke up, carefully eying the little girl as she walked away.

"Good, we'll meet you there," The girl waved lightly back at them, before looking over her shoulder, "Oh, and Anko-sensei?"

"Errr... yes Hinata...?" the woman watched the girl carefully.

"I'm NARUTO's bitch," the girl said with a giggling wink, before walking off "Get it right next time!"

"What the hell have you gotten me into Anko?" Kurenai turned her attention onto her friend as she slowly loosened her grip on the woman.

"Well, look at it this way," the woman in question nervously chuckled back, "Its never gonna be dull!"

Kurenai sighed softly before she looked to her friend "So, what can you tell me about our team then?"

"Well, I only really know Naruto, the Hyuuga, somewhat. The bimbo, I only know the bits and pieces her dad lets slip," Anko shrugged a bit as she adjusted her coat, "Naruto knows me pretty well as you can tell, set me up with Iruka in there. He's a prankster, but he's a good kid for the most part, a lot like me in a lot of ways."

"That, can't be good," Kurenai muttered with a sigh as she lightly pinched the bridge of her nose, "Anything I should be aware of?"

"Don't EVER make fun or insult his style itself," Anko shivered softly, "The results will NOT be pretty."

"That bad?"

"Remember, a couple of days ago, the chuunin, on the flag pole in the diaper, bib and bonnet?"

"What about him?" the red eyed woman asked warily.

"That was the last guy that insulted the kid's style," Anko shivered slightly, "If he wants to get you, he'll get you, no matter HOW good you are."

"If he's that good, how come he's failed three times already?" the other woman blinked slightly as she raised her brow at her friend.

"From what Iruka told me? To get on the same team as the Hyuuga," the woman shrugged slightly, "Something about a promise or something."

"All right, what can you tell me about Hinata then?" the woman asked next as they both began to walk towards the training ground.

"Well, that depends, which one we talking about?" Anko shifted nervously, "The cute, shy little cuddle hungry puppy, or the scary little bitch we just saw?"

"...Cuddle hungry puppy?" there was an incredulous tone to the woman's voice as she spoke

"Yeah, its cute really," Anko grinned as she stretched back, warily trying to rub the chakra flow back into her arms, "With Naruto, she's like a cute little puppy, always wanting him to snuggle and stroke her hair, and the boy's obviously protective of her, a bit enamored too I think. I definitely don't think I'm gonna be questioning him about her ability to function as a Kunoichi anymore though."

As Anko laughed, Kurenai frowned slightly before nodding, "And the last girl?"

"She's Inoichi's brat," the woman shrugged, "Mind walker like him, a bit spoiled from what I've heard though, not much else I could tell you other than she's apparently one of the Uchiha's fan girls if her response to him being on an all male team is any indication."

"What's Naruto's style exactly anyway?" the woman suddenly spoke up as she would arch a brow at Anko.

"Oh, you're gonna love this," she grinned, viciously at her friend, "Bondage Style!"

"Huh..." the woman blinked quietly at the information, "That would explain the ropes and the gag I suppose," she paused as she half closed her red eyes, "So, we've got a bondage ninja, a Hyuuga and a mind walker huh? Definitely a capture and interrogation squad then.

"Yup, isn't it going to be fun?" the wild, devilish grin sent chills down Kurenai's spine.

"I wonder about your definitely, you know that right Anko?" came the response with a soft sigh.

"Hehehe."

-A safe distance away-

"Ya know, if a slow, painful death," there are easier ways to go about it, the male blonde said to the female hanging over his shoulder, "You know, something like swallowing bleach or something, it'll be less painful in the long run."

"Mmph! Mhph!" the grunted responses from the girl were caught by the stifling gag thrust into her mouth.

"Yes, I'm sure you could have handled yourself just fine," the boy responded with an acidic sarcasm, "What with pissing off the most sadistic and psychotic kunoichi in Konoha.

"Mmph..?" there was an almost audible blink as her struggles ceased just a bit, making it easier for the boy to haul her through the woods before finally coming to a stop.

"You were seconds away from a bunch of snakes, all over your body, while Anko-chan plays how many places can I make you bleed," the boy casually responded as he slung her from his shoulder down back onto the ground, "Its one of her favorite games when someone pisses her off."

"Mmph mm!" the girl struggled slightly again, shaking about in place as she gave the boy a look, lifting her feet as her eyes flickered to the ropes questioningly as he took a seat on a nearby log.

"Oh, they're chakra enhanced ropes," the boy shrugged with a grin, "Why you can't wriggle out of them like your normally can."

As a thin line of drool was making its way down the girl's chin, as she glared silently back at him, leaving him to grin as he responded, "No, I'm not going to release you yet, we're going to wait until Hinata-chan shows up and lets us know its safe."

There was an audible growl erupting from the girl's throat as she glared angrily at the boy, "Grrrr...."

"I'll tell you what, I'll show you a trick while we're waiting," the grin on his lips was down right wicked as he raised his arms, "See, nothing up my sleeves right?"

With a gesture, a coil of rope began to slither out, bit by bit as he watched her with a grin. It was a soft, almost gleaming silk rope, black and pure as he carefully began to loop it around in his hands. When he had it at the desired length, he gave one little tug smiled as it finished its distance. Then, with her watching warily, his hands became a blur while the girl could feel faint pulses of chakra being used. When he finished, he was holding up a very strange looking harness before her eyes.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, what kind of trick is that, he just went and tied a bunch of knots together, no big deal, right?" the grinned back at her as he watched the reluctant nod of her head, "Ah, but you see, that's only part of the trick, the boring part to be honest."

The wicked grin, sent a chill down her spine as he held up the rope harness, then proceeded to make a series of hand signs, before finishing with a soft, "HA!"

Suddenly, the rope was no longer in his hands, in fact, it was no longer even visible at all. However, that wasn't to say she didn't know where it'd gone. Oh no, she was most definitely aware of its presence, UNDERNEATH her clothes!

With a muffled, indignant squawk she immediately burst into motion again, before noticing how her movements only seemed to grind the rope into more sensitive bits of her body. Instantly on the realization, she froze, then slowly, stiffly sat back down as she shot a death glare at the boy in front of her. She was more than slightly upset with him.

"What, don't like that trick?" He paused, cupping his chin with his thumb and finger, "Hmmm... Well, I do have some others I could try..."

Instantly the girl began to violently shake her head, ignoring how it seemed to cause things to shift in oh so interesting aways underneath her clothing. Seeing her reaction, the boy pouted softly, "Aw, you're no fun."

"Mmm... starting the party without me Naruto-kun?" a soft, teasing voice spoke up from behind the blonde boy as immediately Ino's shoulders fell in a sigh of relief as she saw Hinata walking up.

"Just a having a bit of fun before you showed up Hinata-chan," he grinned softly as he would shift slightly to the side making room for her to sit next to him.

"Oh I see," the girl grinned softly before she settled down and immediately began to snuggle into Naruto's side, "So, decided how we're going to punish her?"

Ino froze at Hinata's words, as her eyes widened, bit by bit in fear as she shrank back against the tree in fear at Naruto's response, "Oh, I've got a few ideas, how about you?"

The grin that Hinata showed Ino then, almost made the girl break down into a quivering ball of fear as the Hyuuga girl slowly spoke, "Oh... just a few..."

End Note:

Ah, the fun that will be had... Heh... Poor Ino, don't you think?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Author's Note: Ah, it feels nice to be able to write again, hopefully this will help me break through my block on my original stuff

Fic begins Now

"Oh, just a few?" the boy grinned softly as he lightly ran his fingers so tenderly through Hinata's hair, a soft little smile on his lips as he watched her press her body up against his, "What do you think we should do with her Hinata-chan?"

There was a gentle firmness to his touch, a visible tenderness as he would casually brush those fingers through her silken hair. Ino could see it, from where she lay, the soft little contented smile that never left his lips as he simply touched her. And in spite of the fear, the outrage, the anger, a longing jealousy whispered at the edge of her mind.

"What've you done so far Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked quietly as she let her pale eyes rest on Ino's form, watching the girl in near silence as she shifted just a bit, pressing herself happily back up against the blonde boy as she watched the mix of emotions playing across the blue eyed girl's eyes.

"Oh, just showed her my disappearing knots trick," the words were casual, as if common place as he grinned quietly at the girl sitting next to him.

"Mmm, that is a good one," the dark haired girl nodded in response before grinning softly, "She have to go through training with that on?"

Ino was quickly, vehemently shaking her head as she glared back at the pair, making muffled sounds of denial as she started thrashing again, only to have those knotted ropes remind her of just why she stopped to begin with. Settling down to a baleful glare, the gagged girl, bit roughly against the ball in her mouth in her slight exercise in frustration. Those damned ropes were just in the wrong places, the knots, rubbing into her in a way, she couldn't help but find more than a little distracting.

"That was the plan," the boy nodded in confirmation as he chuckled at Ino, "Its better than what Anko-chan would do to you, but, hey, what're team mates for?"

"Mmm I think she wants to say something Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up as she pointed out the stream of muffled words that slipped from beneath the gag, "Mind if I...?"

"Heh, its your ear drums she'll try to blow up," the boy grinned back as he gave a soft kiss against her neck before pulling back, "But if you want to let her talk, go ahead and let her talk Hinata-chan."

Blushing crimson from the contact of his lips to her soft skin, the girl quickly nodded her head, smiling as she would stand and casually make her way over to the nervous looking girl. Gently smiling to the bound blonde, she brought out a handkerchief and carefully dabbed the drool away from her lips and chin before looking her in the eye, "Now, I'm going to remove your gag, you're going to stay quiet and listen to us, understand?"

Hesitantly, the girl nodded, before shifting a bit warily as she felt Hinata's slender fingers slip behind her head, and carefully unstrap the gag as she gently pulled it from her mouth. Smiling again, the Hyuga girl spoke, "There isn't that better?"

Again there was a hesitancy to Ino's reaction, as she carefully stretched and clenched her jaw as she nodded, before offering a cautious, "Thank you..."

"You're welcome," the dark hair girl responded with a smile before slipped back over to Naruto's log and took her seat next to him, "I suppose you have some questions?"

"Why are you doing this to me...?" there were tears, half threatening to well up in the girl's eyes as she looked back at the pair of them, "I haven't done anything to you!"

"You mean, besides call our sensei and yours a slut and a whore?" Naruto offered up casually, as his sparkling blue eyes hardened as they bore down into the girl's, "A woman who happens to be a friend of mine and one of the few people I respect?"

Ino opened her mouth, then slowly, carefully closed it as she swallowed visibly as she shrank back into herself and said nothing. Slowly, Naruto sighed as he looked back at the blonde girl, "Look Ino, believe it or not we're doing this to protect you."

"Protect me?!" the girl spoke up, her voice rising as indignant anger started to rise in her eyes, "You tied me up, you gagged me, you hauled me off to where ever the hell this is, put these... this thing on me god knows how, under neath my clothes and you're telling me you're doing it to protect me?!"

Neither boy nor girl flinched as Naruto chose to casually continue, "Yes, its my job to look after my teammates, even when they royally fuck up."

"How is this looking after me?!" the girl screeched back.

"Easy, we punish you here, in private, where only your team sees, or, Anko punishes you," the boy responded as he looked at her, "And her way will be painful, public and utterly humiliating."

Ino slowly swallowed hard as she looked back at the blonde, before looking to Hinata for confirmation. The dark-haired girl merely let her eyebrow raise up, before gently nodding back to the girl. Shivering softly, the blonde girl would look back at the boy as she asked, "How bad?"

"Well lets see, there was the girl who called her a bitch..." Naruto led off casually as he lightly ran his fingers through Hinata's hair, "I'm sure you heard about the woman they found at the Inuzuka kennels?"

Ino's eyes widened in fear as she shivered at the memory, giving all the confirmation that Naruto needed as the boy continued, "Yeah, and think about it... you called her TWO names, what do you think she'll do to you for that?"

The girl on the ground stiffened instantly, her eyes wide with fear as she looked back at the boy and girl in front of her before Hinata chose to speak, "So, we'll give you the option Ino-chan, we can punish you here and now, or, we can take you back to Anko-sensei and let her punish you," the girl paused a moment as she would gently nuzzle against Naruto's neck, "What's it gonna be?"

The girl looked at the two of them for a moment, before blushing brighting as she hung her head, looking down at the ground in front of her, mumbling softly under her breath in response.

"Mmm? What was that Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up gently, "I didn't hear you?"

"I said, I choose you guys, here and now," there was a grudging blush on her cheeks as she spoke more firmly this time, her voice meeting their ears as she shifted, feeling those ropes as they managed to evoke most, interesting responses, "Lets just get it over with!"

"Well Hinata-chan," the boy smiled as he would gently run his fingers down from dark haired girl's hair, "Since I started it off, I think its your turn, don't you agree?"

"Aww," the girl pouted softly as she nuzzled closer against his body, "But its so warm and nice right here!"

"Come on already!" there was a tinge of anger in Ino's voice as she lightly glared at the two, "Whatever you're going to do, just go ahead and do it!"

Hinata sighed softly before she gave a stage whisper to Naruto, "I think someone's jealous Naruto-kun," she winked visibly before giving another, more resigned sigh as she stood up, stretching lightly before yawning as she looked down at Ino, "Mmm, but I suppose little Ino-chan's a bit... eager?"

"It does look that way," Naruto offered casually as he shifted forward, bringing himself to ground as he leaned back against the log, "We really shouldn't keep her waiting."

Hinata smiled as she stood over Ino, her pale eyes glinting with a dark kindness as she gently took a seat on a nearby rock and smiled at Naruto, "Naruto-kun, could you put her across my lap, please?"

"Heh," the boy made a few signs, before releasing a jutsu, as suddenly a pair of shadow clones popped into existence on either side of him, "All right boys, blondie goes across Hinata-chan's lap."

"Hey, wait!" Ino protested as she watched the clones advanced on her, suddenly looming at her feet and shoulders, "What're you two up to!"

"Well Ino-chan," the pale eyed girl gently smiled back as she sat there, serenely, "You always have the option of choosing Anko-sensei's punishment."

The girl froze immediately and slowly, barely shook her head as she could feel the clones lifting her, an almost tender gentleness to the grips they held on her body. It was kind of nice she had to admit, except for the binding restraints of the ropes still on her body. When they shifted her around, laying her atop Hinata's lap, did one of them, stroke her hair for a moment? Was that accidental? On purpose? She shivered softly, and half wished she could feel more of it.

"That's a good girl Ino-chan," Hinata said softly and smiled down at her as she gently stroked the girl's back, "Don't worry, we'll make sure we watch out for you, that's what team mates do, right?"

The blonde girl shivered in response, as she slowly, hesitantly nodded her head, "Yeah, that's what teammates do..."

"Mhm," the Hyuga girl responded, a sweet, almost serene look on her face, "And while we'll take care of you..." the face shifted though Ino couldn't see, her tone, subtly different, harder, "Its also our responsibility to make sure you're punished when you step out of line. Understood, Ino-chan?"

"Y-yes," the blonde girl mumbled back, shivering softly in a slight amount of fear as she slowly tensed up in preparation.

"Yes, what Ino-chan?" the dark-haired smiled back at her as she lightly stroked the girl's hair, just once.

"Yes... Hinata-chan?" there was a question in that voice as she shivered a bit, her eyes wide, uncertain as she squirmed in place.

"Good girl Ino-chan," she smiled softly in return as she would then, casually reach down, and the blonde haired girl could feel her pants being loosened, before the purple material was slowly, firmly pulled down, to expose the purple panties she wore beneath.

"Th-th-thank you Hinata-chan," Ino shivered, fear and humiliation evident in her voice as she knew what was coming, tears already starting to form in her eyes as she resisted the urge to break down and cry here and there.

"Shh..." the pale-eyed girl whispered softly as he lightly stroked the girl's hair, "It'll be over before you know it Ino-chan... Just keep count for me all right?"

"A-all right.." the words were a bare whisper as the girl's face steeled itself with a fearful resignation as she found her blue eyes locked with naruto's own.

There was no mocking, no disdain, no lecherous leer, there was no enjoyment in those eyes. Just a simple soft comforting look, a reminder in a way that she wasn't alone through this. And those eyes never left her own, even when Hinata struck.

It stung, the impact of the palm striking her. At the same time though, there was a small, warm little jolt that accompanied it. The pale girl's hand glowing a soft blue unseen by the blonde girl as she struggled out a quiet, "One..."

With each strike, Ino found Naruto's eyes never leaving her own, and though her face rapidly flushed crimson, never did her eyes leave his. Every time Hinata's hand fell, the girl could feel that odd mixture, the pain, laced with a building pleasure, an ache that seemed to build up inside of her. Soon, she was shifting, squirming as her panting breath escaped her lips, grinding the ropes against her skin back into her body. After twenty, she was sweating, her body glistening softly as her hair clung back against her skin, her eyes glazed as she managed to keep up with the numbers, until finally, after 30, she just seemed to lose control.

The noise that escaped her lips, as she bucked and suddenly burst to life, shuddering against Hinata's lap, as her voice broke, unable to complete saying the final number, losing herself in it. And with it, she began to convulse again, hot tears burning down her cheeks as she sobbed, a feeling of dejection, failure, disgust welling up inside of her. She couldn't look at him any more, couldn't see those caring eyes, couldn't watch them.

Then, things shifted. Arms wrapped about her, two pair, one, stronger, warmer as they held her to a mesh covered chest, the others, slender and gentle as she could feel another body pressing upon her own. Soft sounds were murmured down into her ear, gentle, soothing touches as those strong hands gently stroked her. She just buried her head against his chest and sobbed, even as she felt their warmth, gently stroking her, holding her against them.

Eventually, those sobbing slowed then stopped as Ino could feel those fingers lightly stroking against her back, soothing and gentle as she noticed that her wrists and ankles had been unbound, and her arms were wrapped desperately about Naruto's chest. Hinata was holding her gently from behind, and she couldn't help but feel a strange bit of comfort from the two as she gave a soft nuzzle against the boy's chest. Realizing what she did, she blushed heavily then gently pulled back, an embarrassed look in her tear reddened eyes as she looked up at the boy.

"Feeling better now, Ino-chan?" he spoke in a soft, gently voice as he would lightly run his hands up, cupping her cheeks as he lightly brushed away her tears with his thumb.

"Yeah..." The girl nodded hesitantly before she looked up, uncertainly adding, "Naruto-kun...?"

"Mhm," the boy nodded and lightly stroked her hair a moment longer before he gently released her from his grasp.

It took her a few minutes, before with a blush, she realized she was still comfortably clinging against his chest. Gently pulling back, she carefully rubbed her wrists before looking between Hinata and Naruto, "Do... Do I need anymore punishment?"

"I think that's enough, other than what we mentioned earlier, Ino-chan," The boy responded with a smile before looking at Hinata, "Don't you agree, Hinata-chan?"

"Yes, Naruto-kun," the girl responded with a smile, "Though, Ino-chan might want to pull her pants up before we go meet our instructors at Training Ground 13."

A scarlet blush crept up the blonde girl's face as she tugged up her pants quickly, blushing brightly as she couldn't help but let her eyes lower, shivering softly, "Thank you, Hinata-chan."

"All right, shall we go then?" Naruto smiled, "I don't think we want to keep Anko-chan and Kurenai-sensei waiting too long..."

"Oh, I'm sure they won't mind too much, Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up with a serene smile, "Though, Ino-chan should definitely apologize to Anko-sensei."

"All right," Ino spoke in a quiet, subdued voice as she gave a simple nod, her eyes clouded over as she stood up, uncertainty written across her body.

"Then, by all means, lets be off," Naruto grinned happily as he put one arm around Hinata's waist, the girl quickly molding herself to his side, while he lightly touched his other to the small of Ino's back.

The girl stiffened for a moment, uncertain as she looked at him, half wary and half... eager as her arms crossed about her chest. Still, she made no move to push away, instead, merely nodding her head as she walked with them, shivering softly as she felt the harness go to work on her body. As she glanced at Naruto and Hinata out of the corner of her eye, she couldn't help but fight down a whimpering shudder as she felt the desire, building up inside of her once more.

All she knew, was that this was definitely not the situation she thought she was going to be in when she was assigned her team. The scary part was, she wasn't sure which she felt more. Was it the excitement, and the thrill of expectation, or, was it the fear and worry of what might just be happening?

Her teammates seemed, normal, as if everything that had happened was normal, run of the mill. As if nothing wrong had been done at all. Still, a part of her, a part of her wasn't sure how to feel. It wared between a hunger, she never quite acknowledged she had, and the simple fear that if she gave in, she'd never be able to be the kind of kunoichi she dreamed of being.

Those thoughts, warred inside of her as they arrived at their training ground, to find Kurenai and Anko waiting with a slight look of impatience on their faces.

"Oi! Took you brats long enough!" Anko growled as she latched onto Ino with her eyes, "And I see you brought the bimbo back under her own power."

"Ino-chan has something she'd like to say to you Anko-chan," the boy spoke up, as he would lightly nudge the girl forward just a bit, "Right Ino-chan?"

There was a reddened blush to the girl's face as she nodded quickly, a glistening sheen of sweat on her face as she spoke up in a quiet voice, "Yes, Naruto-kun..." her voice was strangely subdued from earlier, her eyes almost refusing to meet Anko's before she finally seemed able to force them to where they needed to be, "I apologize for my rude words,Anko-sensei, it won't happen again?"

"Oh, really now?" Anko smirked as she would casually arch a brow, her arms across her chest, "And why should I accept her apology, hmm brat?"

"Because she's already been punished Anko-sensei," Hinata spoke up firmly as her eyes locked onto the woman's, "Naruto-kun and I administered her punishment ourselves."

"Oooooh, really now?" Anko quirked a brow as she would smirk and look over at a shocked looking Kurenai, "Brat's got balls I'll say that much, going in, stealing my rightful compensation."

"Anko-chan," Naruto spoke up, "As much as I'm sure you love your, 'compensation' as you put it," the boy paused before looking her in the eye, "We're a team now, and that means we look out for one another. We can't let each other get away without punishment, but, we WILL protect each other from you, when we know you're gonna go overboard."

"Heh, that a fact brat?" the woman smirked again before she looked towards Kurenai, "Then, I"m sure you brats won't mind doing five laps around Konoha, for your warm up, before the REAL fun begins, now will you."

Ino gulped visibly before she looked nervously towards Naruto and Hinata, "I..."

"No problem," Naruto cut Ino off without a moment's hesitation as Hinata nodded firmly next to him, "Come on Ino-chan."

"Ah, right, Naruto-kun," the girl nodded nervously as she started to jog up next to the pair and they started their route, the two helping the blonde girl find her rhythm as they ran, side by side.

"Heh, that brat, goes and ruins my fun all the time," Anko sighed dramatically as she looked at her friend, "So, what do you think of my brat and his girl?"

"I... am not sure honestly," the red eyed woman responded tentatively, "He's certainly unique."

Anko laughed in response, "Oh, you have no idea... I pity that Ino girl right now. Though, I get the feeling she's definitely not going to be calling me anything anytime soon!"

"Oh, what makes you say that?" the woman quirked a brow, "I noticed whatever the two of them did to the girl, she it certainly made... an impression."

"Well, unless I'm mistaken, that brat used one of his favorite tricks on her," Anko grinned slyly as she winked back at her friend, "And he's not finished punishing her."

"Ahhh...?" the woman blinked slightly, before her eyes widened, "You don't mean..."

"So, you remember what I told you about my first encounter with the brat huh?" Anko grinned back at her friend as she lounged back up against the post, "Think we should even bother with the test?"

"They certainly seem to be showing a sense of unity and teamwork..." Kurenai admitted.

"Nah, lets test em anyway," the brown eyed woman grinned with a light lick of her lips, "I wanna have some fun."

"You're incorrigible, you know that Anko?" the other woman sighed softly as she shook her head, "What test were you thinking of?"

"Weeeeeell..."

-Currently making their way around Konoha-

"Maybe... you guys...ugh... should've... just let me take that... punishment," Ino groaned, sweating profusely now as she struggled to keep up, biting her lip on occasion as she could feel the stimulation beginning to ache with pain, "You... don't have... to do this."

"Yes Ino-chan," Naruto responded as he looked back at her, "We do."

"Teammates stick together, remember Ino-chan?" Hinata was breathing heavily in spite of herself as she kept up with the pace Naruto set, "So, we stick to gether, through this, no matter what."

"Ugh... I'm... going to be in... so much pain... tomorrow... aren't I?" Ino panted back as she struggled to keep her eyes focused on the track in front of them as they ran.

"Well, I'm sure Hinata-chan would be happy to lend you some of her special cream," Naruto spoke up, "Its good for helping soothe away aches and pains."

"Really... Ugh... Hinata-chan... must be... very good," Ino spoke up, groaning softly as she fought back the mingling sensations that assaulted her body.

"Oh, she is, Ino-chan," he grinned back at her, "She most definitely is."

The Hyuga in question blushed a brilliant crimson at the comment as she nodded back to Naruto as the three of them kept up their pace, racing along the track for their full laps.

-Sometime later-

"Gah... I can't feel my crotch," Ino whimpered softly as she dragged herself next to Hinata as they finally managed to get back to the training ground, "I really hate you Naruto-kun."

"Think about it this way Ino-chan," the boy responded with a smirk, "Will you be so quick to insult someone this time?"

"And risk this again? Oh HELL NO!" the girl shivered softly as she whimpered a bit, "I hope to god that your cream works Hinata-chan, Oh do I pray..."

"Welcome back brats!" Anko called out viciously as she leaned against a training post, "Are ya'll ready for your genin test?"

"Our... genin test?" the trio blinked at the woman, staring owlishly as Naruto spoke, "But... we already took that!"

"Oh, didn't they tell you?" Anko almost purred with that sadistic look on her face, "You only took the test to see if you were ready to take the REAL test... and this one, has a 66% failure rating!"

Ino turned, and just gave Naruto a simple, pleading, begging, aching to kill look, that screamed one thing above all others, 'PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE?!'

The boy sighed slowly and shook his head, earning a pout from Ino as he reached over and patted her on the shoulder, "Sorry Ino-chan, but, after we pass the test, we'll talk about how we want to properly... respond to her brand of humor, all right?"

The girl, paused a moment, before grinning and nodding back, her eyes taking on a decidedly wicked quality as she began to slowly giggle as she looked back at Anko.

Said woman, was beginning to shift nervously where she stood, her eyes flitting between the three genin in front of her, all of them bearing looks with promises of retribution written as clear as day, "So, Nai-chan, why don't you take over and tell them about the test?"

"Anko..." the other woman sighed softly as she looked at the three, "You three do realize its frowned upon to assault your teachers, correct?"

"You do realize I've got a license to give a 'Performance Review' to any Konoha Ninja at any time, right?" The boy grinned back in response, "And in fact, get paid to do so... All I have to do is submit a report about how my 'targets' performed," he turned and leveled his eyes onto Anko, "Not just ANBU and the specific ninja devisions."

"A 'Performance Review'?" there was a curious note to Kurenai's voice before she turned to see the quietly, and nervously sweating Anko, "And just what would that be Anko?"

"Umm... His last one was yesterday, with the ANBU..." Anko spoke up nervously, "The Hokage payed him for a B-ranked mission for it."

"He got PAID to do that?!" Kurenai just blinked for a moment before looking back at the now happily grinning Naruto, "And tell me Naruto, you wouldn't be planning on holding this over our heads whenever we do something you don't like would you?"

"Nah," the boy responded with that happy grin as he caught his fingers behind his head, "Only Anko-chan, when she's trying to be mean."

"Oh, in that case..." the woman responded before he paused a moment, "How much to get you to 'Review' her until she replaces all the sake she stole from me?"

"HEY!" The woman protested as she glared at her friend, "I told you I'd pay you back!"

"And yet, you haven't," the red eyed woman shot back as she looked at Naruto, "Well?"

"Hmm... Train us hard and teach us plenty, but don't go psycho on us like Anko-chan over there?" the boy offered casually.

"I was going to do that anyway you know," the woman responded dryly, "Did you really need to even ask?"

"You're apparently friends with Anko-chan," the boy paused a moment, before shrugging, "Do I need any other reason?"

"HEY!" both of the genin kunoichi giggled at Anko's response as they couldn't help but watch the squawk of indignation, "You're friends with me too you brat!"

"Yeah, but even I'd have to question myself because of it," the boy grinned back at Anko, "So, what'd we do to end up with a friend like her?"

"I'm not sure," Kurenai responded thoughtfully, tapping lightly on her lip, "I think it has something to do with us being too nice for our own good."

"Sounds a bout right," he grinned back, "What do you think Hinata-chan?"

"Mmm... having my performance reviewed by Naruto-kun..." the girl in question was drooling softly, a happy little smile on her face as she stared off into the distance, giggling quietly to herself as she seemed to ignore everything around her, "mmmm...."

"Aaaand we'll get back to you on that," the boy felt a trickle do cold sweat run down the side of his face at that before shrugging helplessly towards Ino, "Ehehe... So, um, Ino-chan, does that sound about right?"

"Um, sure Naruto-kun," the blonde girl responded warily as she eyed the smiling Hinata, "If you say so..."

"You all are no fun," Anko actually pouted as she crossed her arms about her chest and sniffled.

"So, test?" Ino spoke up quietly as she carefully nudged Hinata with her elbow, one, twice, until the pale eyed girl finally snapped out of her reverie on her third nudge, blushing crimson as she bowed her head apologetically.

"Reduce Ino-chan to a quivering, helpless pile of sweet, glistening flesh, letting her moans ripple through the air like a symphony under a conductor's guidance?" Hinata asked casually, smiling ever so innocently back at the blonde girl.

The blonde girl in question immediately flushed scarlet as she tried to stammer back a respond, her eyes half glazed as she couldn't help but feel a few mental images rippling through her mind, "T-that, w-what... h-how... Eeeep!"

"Uh no," Kurenai shook her head slightly at the pouting that Hinata shot back to her, and the struggling face of Naruto as he tried, desperately not to explode in laughter.

"I don't know, I kinda wanna see that," Anko spoke up cheerfully.

"... Do you WANT me to change the test to make YOU the target Anko?" Kurenai spoke up.

The spiky-haired woman paused a moment, studying the crimson face of Ino and the innocent smugness of Hinata as she pressed her fingers together lightly while looking at her feet, "Hmmm... Tempting, but I'm trying out this whole relationship thing, sorry kids."

"All right, then," Kurenai continued, casting a mildly reproachful glare at her co-teacher, "Now, are you ready to hear what the actual test is?"

"Hmmm, I suppose," Naruto nodded slightly as he would lightly wrap his arms about his teammates' waists, "We're ready for whatever test we have to complete to become ninja, right?"

Both girls were blushing, Ino far more than Hinata as they spoke up an almost synchronous, "Right Naruto-kun."

"Hmmm..." The boy suddenly paused, before a note book appeared in his hands and he began to quickly scribble down a few notes, his eyes gleaming as he began to chuckle, "Heh heh heh..."

Hinata sighed softly as she watched the boy scribbling like mad into his notebook, "I'm sorry sensei, but when inspiration strikes..."

"Inspiration...?" Kurenai blinked slightly, not quite following the girl.

"For his books," A blush lit up her face as she nervously shifted her feet on the ground.

"He's an... Author?" Kurenai blinked slightly as she looked at the now cackling boy skeptically

"Oh, is he ever..." Anko responded as both she and Hinata both began to drool slightly at the thought.

"What does he write?" Ino asked curiously, while Kurenai nodded her curiosity.

Instantly both Hinata and Anko had produced a little black book they stuck in Ino and Kurenai's hands respectively, both grinning happily as they practically leered at the others. Curiously both the blonde and the red-eyed woman opened up the books, only to immediately blush crimson as their eyes grew wider and wider. Managing to tear her eyes away from the book, Kurenai stared at Anko, "This is... this is..."

"Yup, I know," the woman grinned back at her as she lightly pulled out a kunai and started to clean her nails, "Ain't it grand?"

"And he... is the author?" her eyes glanced back down at the book in front of her, unconsciously turning the page as she started reading again.

As Anko nodded, Ino remained silent, her wide eyes fixed on the pages in front of her, her face, blushed a brilliant crimson as she slowly began to turn the pages, utterly engrossed as she began to shift, from one foot to the next. The blonde girl, was biting lightly down on her lip, before suddenly, a soft, perverted little giggle escaped her lips and she looked up, a trickle of blood flowing from her nose as she sheepishly grinned at Hinata, "Can... I borrow this, Hinata-chan?"

Even as the pale eyed girl was grinning broadly, Naruto seemed to snap out of his writing daze and blinked at Ino, "You know, you could just ask me for a copy, Ino-chan."

The girl only blushed even more if it was possibly before nodding quietly as she began to lightly push her fingers together in a decidedly Hinata-like gesture, "Um, Naruto-kun? Could I have a copy for myself, please?"

"Sure Ino-chan!" the boy grinned back, "I'll get you a copy after we finish this test!" he paused a moment before looking back at where Kurenai had her nose buried in Anko's copy of his book, while the spiky haired woman watched her friend, almost exploding with laughter, "Speaking of which, you gonna tell us what this test is?"

"Hmm? Did you say something?" Kurenai blinked as she looked up from the book for a moment, before burying her nose back in it.

"Well, I've got an idea!" Anko grinned broadly, "All you've got to do to pass is get that book away from Nai-chan!"

"And what're you gonna be doing while we do that Anko-chan?" the boy looked back at the woman speculatively.

"Enjoying the show?" the woman grinned before she felt a finger lightly tapping on her shoulder, "Huh?"

Looking down, she could see another Naruto, smiling at her happily and waving at her with that wide grin on his face. Blinking, she looked back at the Naruto standing there between his two teammates, before a suddenly realization hit her, "Oh, Sh-!"

Instantly the clone exploded in to a mass of snaking ropes, that snared and almost completely mummified the jounin as she proceeded to fall back on her ass, struggling to make a sound as the attempted to wriggle free of the chakra enhanced ropes. As she glared at the grinning blonde, she could hear him snickering, "Exploding Rope Clone Entrapment... Enjoy the show Anko-chan!"

"So, we just have to get that book from her huh?" Naruto grinned as he let a slim rope slide out of his jacket sleeve, before he quickly tied it into a lasso, "Shouldn't be too hard..."

As he tossed the lasso out, aiming directly for the book, Kurenai shifted slightly, not even seeming to pay attention to the boy as she let out a soft little giggle. The lasso missed the book by the slightest of margins, causing the boy to frown slightly, "Ok, lets try this again... Ok, again... AGAIN! GRRRR... STAND STILL!"

Each and every time the boy tossed the lasso at the book, the jounin woman shifted slightly, barely moving the book out of the way each and every time, all without ever pausing in her reading. Twitching slightly, he grumbled and looked at the girls, "Well looks like it won't be that easy after all... Hinata-chan, Ino-chan, you two ready?"

"Yes!" the two girls responded as they each took up ready stances, "Lets get that book!"

What followed, was an abject lesson in humiliation, as the three scrambled in their attempts to snag their instructor's copy of the book. Ino and Hinata came at the woman from her sides, attempting to coral her into place as Naruto began twirl his thick, knotted ropes as he attempted to knock the book out of the teacher's hands. Yet, no matter how they tried, they always seemed to just miss her, every blow, every strike, just barely avoiding hitting her. Finally, frustrated, Naruto called out to Hinata.

"Hey, Hinata-chan, are you using your Byakugan?"

"Ah!" the girl immediately blushed before she slowly, wordlessly shook her head, "I'm sorry Naruto-kun!"

"Turn it on! Some thing's not right about this!" The boy shot back before he backed up a short bit from the woman.

Activating her eyes with a sudden furrow of concentration, the girl gasped softly, "Illusion!"

"Figures," Ino grumbled softly as she held her hands up in front of her, concentrating before she shouted out, "RELEASE!"

Suddenly the Kurenai in front of them vanished, and revealed another one, leaning against a tream, her nose buried deep in the book. Twitching a bit, Naruto walked over to the woman, and spoke up, "Um, Kurenai Sensei? If you give me that book I'll give you an autographed copy instead?"

The woman looked up from the book, blinked a moment then handed her copy to him without a word. Again, a slight twitch passed over the boy's features, before he dug down into his pocket, and revealed an identical copy, lightly opening it up to the first page to show the autograph before handing it over to Kurenai. With a giggling smile she immediately dug her nose right back into the book, a happy blush on her face.

As Naruto palmed his face in exasperation, he turned towards the still bound, but laughing Anko as she lay there on the ground. Grumbling softly he walked back over to her and touched on the ropes, canceling the technique that kept them bound in place as he began to carefully coil the rope up, "Happy?"

"Woulda preferred not being tied up for the show, but yeah, I'm happy you little brat," The grinned back at them, "You three pass."

"Delightful," the boy responded with a nod, "Are we done for today then?"

"What, I thought you wanted serious training?" the woman asked with a casually mocking grin.

"We can start that tomorrow," the boy responded, "Ino-chan needs a break," the boy paused a minute before twitching slightly, "Besides, I think Kurenai-sensei needs a chance to finish her book."

"Ah, its not..." the woman paused before she heard enough, louder giggle escaping her partner's lips as she kept herself absolutely focused on her book, "Its not..."

"Yeah, it is," Naruto paused before he walked back over and gently put his arms around his teammates, "Come on, we'll head to my place then we'll get some lunch."

"Huh? Why your place?" Ino blinked worriedly as a soft flush again crept over her features, "Why not mine or Hinata-chan's?"

"I live alone," the boy responded quietly, "So, you don't have to worry about your parents wondering what's going on or accidentally coming across your... punishment."

"Oh..."

Hinata giggled softly as she leg go of Naruto, to slip around and sidle up on the other side of Ino, "Don't worry Ino-chan," the girl leaned in, quietly whispering into her ear, "We'll take good care of you."

"Oh yes, very, VERY good care of you," Naruto added with a slow, soft whisper that left a caress of warm breath teasing against her neck

Ino couldn't help but feel a slow sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach, as her heart in turn quickened its pace. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, only that there was a growing certainty that she only had a short, short time to get away before it was too late and she was lost forever. The only question that remained, was, did she really want to get away?

-Several minutes later-

"Its not much, but its home," the boy spoke up as he stretched out, opening the door up to the girls as he slipped behind them, "Hinata-chan, why don't you take Ino-chan into the bathroom and you can help her with the ropes and cream."

"All right Naruto-kun!" the girl smiled happily with a nod as she gently tugged on Ino's arm, "Come on Ino-chan."

"You're not gonna have me strip down in front of you?" Ino blinked in confusion, before blushing profusely as she realized just what she'd said.

"Well, if you would prefer," the boy gave her back a wicked little grin before winking at her with those brilliant blue eyes, "I figured you'd rather not have a guy see you like that," He paused a moment, before smiling innocently, "At least not yet anyway."

Blushing brilliantly Ino could only nod as she let a giggling Hinata pull her down the all and into the somewhat small, cramped little bathroom. For a moment, she was quiet, frozen as the pale-eyed girl looked at her expectantly before she slowly began to pull her clothing off. With an almost exasperated sigh, Hinata reached in, and began to help her, gently pushing the girl onto the top of the toilet seat as she started to undo Ino's sandals.

"Um, Hinata... chan?" the blonde spoke up softly, nervously, "Can I... ask you a question?"

"Sure Ino-chan!" the girl was smiling up at her happily, lightly massaging the arch of Ino's foot with her soft, little hands, "What did you want to talk about?"

"What... what's your relationship with Naruto-kun?" the girl suppressed a shudder of enjoyment as she felt how the girl dark haired girl was carefully pulling her socks down, leaving her bare skin to feel the gentle, kneading touch of those slender fingers on her sore feet.

The Hyuga girl smiled brightly back up at her, "Oh, my relationship with Naruto-kun?" she giggled softly before abandoning the foot, and gently doing the same to the other, considering her answer for a long moment as she stripped Ino's feet naked, "That depends on what you're ready to accept."

"What... mm do you mean?" the girl couldn't help but relax some against Hinata's skilled fingers while she she felt the girl gently massage up her calves beneath her pants before the fingers slipped up, undoing the girl's belt, and gently tugged the girl's pants down past her ankles.

"Naruto's been looking after me since we were six," the girl responded simply as she would gently pull the the blonde girl's sleeveless shirt up over her chest before neatly placing it next to her pants as she smiled at the girl, "My mother was his sensei," she paused a moment, lightly running her fingers along Ino's hips, "After she died..."

The girl paused a moment, a sad smile on her lips before she gently began to tug Ino's panties down along her thighs, "You might want to undo your bra so we can get these ropes off you."

"Ah, right Hinata-chan..." the girl nodded quietly as she did as she was instructed, looking down at her teammate quietly, hoping she'd continue.

"Thank you Ino-chan," the girl responded, gently beginning to touch her fingers against the various knots, her hands glowing blue as they moved from knot to knot, disrupting the chakra flows holding them tight to the girl's skin, "After my mother died, my father was... as Naruto-kun put it, simply gone. Empty. He stopped being a father."

Gently Hinata kept moving her fingers from knot to knot, disrupting the technique that bound it in place as she then carefully began to loosen it, her fingers occasionally brushing against the blonde girls's soft skin, "After I was almost kidnapped and Uncle died, Father spend his time, trying to push me to become stronger," she gave another of those sad little smiles as she carefully untied the harness then began to carefully remove it from the other girl's body, "Only, I didn't get strong, fast enough for his tastes, for his pain, for his anger. And he started to call me weak and worthless."

"Hinata-chan..." Ino spoke up, her eyes welling with sadness as she looked down at her teammate.

"But, Naruto-kun wouldn't let it go at that," there was a genuine smile on those lips now as she would carefully spread Ino's legs, inspecting the red patches of flesh that interwove across her body before carefully moving over to a cabinet, and pulling out a jar of cream before returning back, "It'll sting at first, but then it'll feel better," the girl paused a moment before grinning sheepishly, "Believe me, I know."

"A-all right," the other girl blushed in response as she watched, fidgeting softly as she felt Hinata's fingers, cool and slick with the cream, beginning to massage against the marks left by the rope.

"Naruto-kun..." the girl smiled softly, "Naruto-kun is the only one that I know that can get away with yelling at my father. The only one I know other than the Hokage that will stand up to him," the girl gently looked up into Ino's eyes, "When someone's precious to him, there's nothing that will stop him. He looked after me, comforted me, didn't let me stay alone... And bit by bit, he brought my father back."

The girl smiled again as she looked at Ino, "The simple truth is, I belong to him," she gently worked more of the cream against more sensitive, abused areas, causing Ino to shiver softly and bite her lip, "Mind, body, heart and soul. All are his when he wants to claim them."

"I... I see," there was a tinge of sadness, as the blonde responded, biting back the wave of depressed revulsion that wanted to overwhelm her for even having considered intruding on something this... pure for her own selfish satisfaction.

As Hinata watched the girl's head hang, the shook her head, lightly lifting her clean hand up, softly raising Ino's chin as she wold continue to spread the balm with her other hand, "Mmm, do you Ino-chan?" she paused a moment, gently cupping the girl's cheek as she lightly brushed her thumb across the soft skin.

"I... I..." the girl stumbled over the words, feeling the flashing flush of heat rushing through her cheeks before she shook her head, admitting to the truth, "I... Why?"

"Mmm why what Ino-chan?" The girl smiled back into her eyes as she would gently dip her other hand back into the jar, again, continuing to spread the cream against the reddened skin, soothing it bit by bit, "Why am I touching you then? Why am I seeing the longing in your eyes and not pushing you away?" she casually smiled again, lightly letting her fingers stroke that skin gently once more, as she softly finished working the cream onto Ino's front, "Why am I not warning you off and fighting for him hmmm?"

"Why are you acting like you want to share him with me?" the voice was a soft, harsh whisper as it broke past her lips, her body shivering as she clutched against her sides, her blue eyes starting to brim once more with tears, "Why would, how could anyone want to share someone like that? He's perfect!"

Hinata giggled softly, "Well, I don't know about perfect, but, he is one of the best," she spoke up gently, "He's reliable, playful, kind, strong... And he accepts me for who I am. He doesn't make any preconceptions on how I should act because of my family, my birth, who I appear to be. He accepts me for who I am," she smiled a bit, "And all the trouble that goes with it."

"Trouble?" the blonde girl blinked then snorted softly, "I doubt it, you're beautiful, kind, refined... What trouble goes with accepting who you are?"

The dark haired girl actually blushed at the words, before slowly shaking her head, "I'm dependent, needy and a mess," her voice lowered for a bit as she continued, her eyes dropping from the girl's as she would wordlessly guide the girl to present her back, "I have mood swings... Naruto-kun's had to stop me from killing myself in the past..." the blonde girl stiffened at those words as she looked back over her shoulder at the Hyuga girl who refused to meet her eyes now, "And... Naruto-kun's the only one I have."

A silence held thick in the air, weighing on Ino's shoulders as she felt the girl working the balm into her skin, not sure what she should, could possibly say to what the girl had just told her. She turned then, moving her hands up to gently lift and cup Hinata's cheeks as she lifted the girl's eyes up to her own, "No, he's not."

The girl's pale eyes widened as she could feel herself being drawn over into a firm hug, as Ino's voice whispered quietly against her ear, "You've got me too."

For a moment, the girl merely trembled, before slowly, tentatively her arms caught the naked girl's body in her arms and pulled her tightly back against her own form. Ino could practically feel the tears coming from the girl's eyes as she gently reached up, pausing a moment, before lightly stroking her fingers through the girls hair, like she'd seen Naruto do before. For a moment, the girl stiffened, a frightened whimper escaping her throat, before she slowly let herself melt back against her teammate's body and gave a contented little sigh.

End note:

Yay for exploring bit by bit how all of them are damaged goods. Should have more light fun and jokes next chapter, hopefully at least


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Author's note: For those of you that keep wanting to know what's coming, or what pairings it'll be or things like that... You'll have to wait and see. I'm not the type to just go around and blab what I'm planning, and honestly, I don't even have a set plan for the pairings, or even how things will turn out. The original plan for the previous chapter was gonna be something else, but, the way it wrote itself, I couldn't help but chuckle and let it ride.

How far I'm going to take this, I'm not certain. This Naruto is NOT a direct combat ninja, I'm still figuring out just what part the fox is going to play in all this. I'm only certain on one final pairing at the moment, and that one... heh... I still have to figure out what I'm gonna do exactly. You'll see.

Fic begins NOW

-Naruto's Apartment-

Coat lain over the arm of his couch, Naruto was leaning comfortably back against it as he kept his notebook propped up against his thigh. Though this eyes would occasionally wander in the direction of the bathroom, he refused to get up and check. Hinata was taking care of it, and he wanted to make sure she knew he believed in that she'd be able to do a good job.

Finally, he could hear the sound of the door opening, while he kept adding notes, here and there to the book, he lifted his eyes to see both girls softly blushing as they exited the bathroom, "Better?"

"Much, Naruto-kun," Ino nodded, a smile on her lips as she looked at him a bit differently than before, as if the light had changed just enough to make a difference in how she saw him, "Thank you."

"Thank Hinata-chan," the boy shrugged, "Its her cream and she's the one that took care of you."

"Oh, I already did," the blonde smiled as she gently hugged her arm about Hinata's waist as she lightly reached out, and lightly brushed against the dark hair, "And I think, I'm really glad that I ended up on this team."

A slight twinge of jealousy erupted inside of Naruto as he watched the blush creep across Hinata's face as she quietly let herself lean into the caress. Forcefully he pushed it down as he offered up a gentle little smile, "I see you two are getting along."

The flash across his eyes had lasted only an instant before the smile had come, but the sudden twitch of both girls' lips downward, made him struggle not to wince. Gently, he shifted his body, pushing up as he brought his feet to the ground and took hold of his coat, as he continued, "Well, I do believe I promised lunch, right?"

"Naruto-kun..." Hinata spoke up, a hesitance to her voice as she looked at him with a worried longing as next to her, Ino remained silent, uncertain.

"Come on, I'm sure you're both hungry," the both said cheerfully, "I know I am!"

As he held the door open for them both, the reluctantly nodded as they stepped forward, followed shortly by the boy as he shut and locked the door behind him. Both girls noticed however, as this time, he stayed close, but it was no longer that comforting presence, his hands gently on their bodies in that soft comforting manner. Both noticed, and could feel the frowns growing on their lips.

The cheery mask on his face, Naruto walked down the street, until the girls quickly caught up with him, and forcibly grabbed hold of his arms from either side. Blinking a bit, his mask slipped for a moment as he stiffened, his body almost recoiling from their touch, before he gently leaned back against their warm bodies. Tentatively, he would bring his arms up, before he could feel slender fingers from each girl taking hold, and guiding his hands to their waists.

"We're in this together Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up quietly, giving the boy's hand a squeeze as she would slip her arm against his back.

"So, you better remember that!" Ino spoke up, a bit of her usual fire back in her eyes as put her own arm across Hinata's and lightly stroked the boy's back.

Sheepishly, the boy nodded his head, his fingers moving up as he would carefully stroke along the girls' backs before cautiously stroking against their hair. Or, more accurately, stroking through Hinata's hair, and lightly caressing against the back of Ino's neck in the same manner as he caressed Hinata's hair. His attention turned to Ino though, as she giggled softly and began to speak.

"Mm, should I start wearing my hair down then, Naruto-kun?" the girl grinned softly at the boy as she lightly tightened her grip on his back, "So you and stroke it like you do with Hinata-chan?"

"Heh, we'll see," the boy responded easily enough, ignoring the looks they were getting as the girls allowed themselves to be led where Naruto wanted.

-Sometime later-

As they began to take their seats the Ramen Shop, Ino suddenly wrapped her arms about Naruto and gave him a firm hug, "Is it... usually like that for you, Naruto-kun?"

"What do you mean Ino-chan?" the boy responded cautiously as he would lightly bring one hand up to slowly stroke against her back.

"The looks," she responded as she took a seat, "All those people with their cold eyes following you."

"Neh," the boy shrugged softly, "A lot of people in the village don't like me, its no big deal."

"Yeah it is!" the blonde girl countered back, "You're a good guy! They shouldn't be giving you those kind of looks, like you're some kind of... Grrr... Right, Hinata-chan?"

The girl nodded quietly as she looked up at Naruto as the boy shrugged in response, "A good guy who likes to prank ninjas left and right, then lead them on merry chases all through out the village."

"Still, they're just pranks!" Ino protested, "That's no reason for them to treat you like that!"

"Ino-chan..." the boy paused a moment, before looking from one girl to the other, "Look, there is a reason they look at me that way. Just... leave it at that for now, all right?"

"N-Naruto-kun?" Hinata looked at him, worriedly.

"For now, Hinata-chan," he said softly his arms gently sliding down to each of the girls' shoulders, and giving them a soft hug.

"So, what's it going to be today?" the older man behind the counter asked with a soft grin on his face, "Did you get yourself another girlfriend, or is this your teammate Naruto?"

The two girls blushed softly as they glanced as one towards Naruto, then one another, before blushing even more as they fidgeted softly in their seats. The boy himself, paused a moment, as thinking before he grinned before turning his head towards Hinata, "I don't know Hinata-chan, do I have another girlfriend, or do you?"

Immediately the girl in question blushed crimson as she furtively glanced over at the similarly blushing Ino and gave a little shrug, "Wh-whichever Ino-chan wants."

"Oho!" the man behind the counter chuckled, "Well now, one things for certain, you never cease being interesting Naruto. So what can I get for you and your lovely ladies?"

Ino herself didn't quite respond to Hinata's words, she honestly wasn't sure herself of what the answer really was, did she want to be the girl's girlfriend, did she want to be Naruto's? She wasn't even close to being sure, the whole relationship would be all kinds of complicated, and then there was Sasuke. The girl pause a moment, as a curious thought entered her head.

Was there even a Sasuke to consider? She shook her head a bit before looking up to the man, who was watching her with that easy smile, waiting, "I'll have... a bowl of chicken ramen."

"Two beef for me!" the boy added quickly as he kept his arms wrapped familiarily about the girl's shoulders.

"One shrimp Ramen please," the dark haired girl piped up as she leaned a bit closer into Naruto's side.

"Coming right up!" the man responded as he grinned back at the trio.

As the man got to work, Ino felt herself leaning against Naruto much the same as Hinata was. It felt, nice she realized, warm, reassuring. And he was so willing to give it, unlike Sasuke. She couldn't help but wonder, was Sasuke really what she wanted?

"Mmm? What's on your mind Ino-chan?" Naruto spoke up as he watched the blonde girl's brow furrow in thought.

"Huh?" the girl responded, blinking a bit, "Just thinking about... stuff I guess."

"What, stuff like if you wanna be Hinata-chan's girlfriend or not?" the boy teased her, softly as she could feel him reaching up, lightly stroking the lock of hair she kept free along her cheek.

"Kinda... that and..." she paused a moment, her body stiffening slightly before she admitted, "Sasuke."

"Ah..." there was a distance to the tone from the boy, as he could feel Hinata stiffen at his other side warily.

"I'm just... not sure what to think," the girl explained honestly, "I mean, this morning... He was everything I ever thought I could want in a guy. Good looking, cool, powerful, smart..." she paused a moment before narrowing her eyes and looking at the two sitting next to her, "And then you two come along, kidnap me, do all those... things to me," she blushed brightly at that, "Now, I just... don't know."

"What, now looking forward to the next time we kidnap you?" the boy spoke up with a bit of a grin as Hinata couldn't help bug giggle softly next to him.

"Hmph," the girl grunted as she playfully punched his arm in response, before blushing softly as she continued, "Maybe."

"I think we'll have to worry about Anko-sensei following us next time," Hinata spoke up softly, "I think she felt.. left out."

Ino and Naruto both shivered at that as he chuckled nervously, "Eheh... That's Anko-chan for ya."

"So," Ino grinned suddenly as she looked up at Naruto, "How's it feel to be the envy of our class huh?"

"Hmmm?" the blonde boy blinked as she looked back at Ino, "What're you talking about?"

"Well, come on!" the girl grinned, giggling softly, "You're on a team with two of the hottest girls in our class, and you have not one, but two hot kunoichi teachers! Didn't you see the looks the guys were throwing you back in class?"

"Eh? Not really," the boy shrugged a bit before chuckling, "I'm kinda used to getting looks, so I just ignore em," he paused a moment, mulling over the situation, before grinning, "We should definitely mess with em though."

"Oooooh?" the blonde girl grinned as she looked at the boy, "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmhmhm, " there was a wicked grin on his face as he would picture something in his mind, "Well, how would you like to give those perverts a nose bleed they'll never forget?"

"N-n-naughty!" Hinata pipped up, blushing even brighter though she had a small, predatory little smile on her lips.

"Hmmm," the blonde girl grinned for a moment before she leaned in, sweetly whispering loudly enough for Hinata to hear, "How naughty... do you think we should be Naruto-kun?"

"Well..." the boy grinned back at them, a mischievous grin on his lips, "I was thinking you should go take Hinata-chan shopping and see what you two could... come up with?"

Ino's eyes instantly gleamed as she grinned wickedly back at Naruto, in an almost predatory manner, "Oh, reeeeaaaally?"

"Heh," the boy grinned back at the blonde girl before looking at Hinata, "Well Hinata-chan, what do you think?"

"I-I... think that..." Hinata blushed brightly as she stumbled over her words for a moment, "that..." she took a slow deep breath before nodding, "That we shouldn't let Naruto-kun come shopping, so he gets a surprise too."

"Heh, sounds like Hinata-chan has an idea already," Ino grinned just as the ramen chef began to lay out their bowls in front of them.

"Here we go!" the man grinned broadly at the three, "For my favorite customer and his favorite ladies!"

The three blushed lightly at the man's words, though the girls more than Naruto himself before they took up their chopsticks and thanked the man, "Thank you Ichiraku-san!"

"Now now, just enjoy your meal!" the man grinned softly as he turned back and begin to work on cleaning up the small mess he'd made.

"Mmm... Raaaaamen..." Naruto drooled happily as he inhaled the wondrous scent, before offering up a small prayer of thanks.

"Heh, you're silly Naruto-kun," Ino practically giggled as she would begin to peck at her ramen bit by bit.

"Ramen is to be devoured and savored!" the boy countered with a broad grin, before lightly poking against the blonde girl's arm, "So start eating!"

"Heh, I really shouldn't eat too much, I'm on a diet..." the girl protested back.

"No," the boy said plainly as he crossed his arms about his chest, "No diets, you need to eat."

"Hey, I gotta keep this slim figure somehow!" the girl countered back, "What, want me to get fat?!"

"Ino-chan," the boy tsked softly, "Are you a ninja, or a vapid bimbo?"

"Hey!" the girl immediately felt her face flush as she couldn't figure out just what the sudden comment meant, "I'm a ninja of course!"

"Then stop being stupid," he reached forward and lightly flicked her forehead with his finger.

"I'm not stupid! Or some vapid bimbo!" the girl growled back, her eyes beginning to burn dangerously, "Why the hell are you saying something stupid like that?!"

"Because you're acting stupid?" the boy responded while Hinata winced slightly at the bluntness of his words, "I mean, seriously Ino-chan... A ninja needs all the food they can get, otherwise, how the hell are you gonna be able to train properly?"

"Uh... huh?" the girl blinked slightly in confusion as she looked back at the boy, not sure just how to react.

"Wh-what Naruto-kun is saying," Hinata spoke up, slowly, carefully as she looked over into Ino's eyes, "Is that you're a ninja Ino-chan," she paused a moment before continuing, "That means, instead of eating less, you train more, and get stronger. Eating less means you train less, and can get a lot less out of training... so, eat plenty, right Naruto-kun?"

"Yup, besides," the blonde boy paused before grinning at Ino, "I'm paying, so eat."

"But..." the girl blushed a bit, before mumbling softly, "I want to look good."

"Eh?" the boy blinked, looking at the girl oddly, "What're you talking about? You DO look good, right Hinata-chan?"

The pale eyed girl quickly nodded her head in agreement as she smiled shyly at Ino, "Yes, Ino-chan... is very beautiful."

"But..." the girl started to protest again.

"Ino-chan," the boy paused, as his tone shifted, the playfulness gone as his eyes hardened, "You look great, and if you don't stop protesting and eat your ramen, I'm going to put you over my knee and spank you right here and now."

The blonde girl immediately blushed crimson, as she couldn't help but make a simple little comment, "...Promise?"

Naruto's palm immediately went to his face as he sighed at Hinata, "We've created a monster."

"Hey!"

"But, she's a cute monster, right Naruto-kun?" Hinata smiled as she responded, a slight giggle in her words.

"Mmm..." Naruto took a moment, eying the blonde speculatively before he reached out, cupping her cheek as he leaned in and whispered against the girl's ear, "Yes... very cute."

The girl in question blushed crimson as Naruto ever so casually leaned a bit closer in, his words teasing against her ear, "Now, eat your ramen Ino-chan."

"Y-yes Naruto-kun," the girl fumbled over her response, nodding with a heavy blush on her face.

"Good girl," with a grin on his face, the boy dove into his own ramen with an eager grin.

The bowls quickly drained away, bit by bit, as the three continued to eat. Curiosity on his face, Naruto casually looked back at Ino as he asked, "So, what all are you good at Ino-chan? I know what Hinata-chan's good at, and I'm pretty sure you can guess what I'm good at... I know you're a mind walker, but what else do you do?"

The girl froze immediately, then looked down sheepishly with a sigh, "That's... pretty much it right now..."

"Huh," the boy paused a moment, before shrugging lightly, "Well, Hinata-chan's mainly close range, I'm more mid-range, so I guess we should work on your long range skills?"

"Y-yeah," Hinata spoke up quickly, "That should balance things out more..." she paused, before smiling back at the girl, "Plus, we need to keep our best interrogate safe, right?"

"Errr..." the girl blushed softly with a slow little nod as she noticed Naruto suddenly grinning, almost ferally at her, "Oh, I don't know, I could think... of a number of ways to keep her."

"Eeep," Ino blushed even brighter at the boy's words while a shiver ran its way down her spine, "M-meaning?"

The boy leaned in, before slowly, softly, whispering into her ear, "Well Ino-chan... why don't you use... your imagination, neh?"

She only blushed even brighter as Naruto pulled back, his warmth breath lingering on her pale skin before he winked, knowingly at a blushing Hinata. However, before he could continue, a voice rose up behind them, calling out, "AHA! I FOUND YOU!"

"Eh?" Naruto and the girls all blinked before looking over their shoulders to find the accusatory finger of Konohamaru pointing at them.

"Oh, its you," the boy shrugged softly before turning around and returning to his ramen.

"HEY! Don't turn your back on me!" the boy screamed out.

"Neh, Ino-chan, Hinata-chan," the boy casually asked, "Anyone else here this weird , squeaking sound?"

"N-no, Naruto-kun," Hinata responded with a smile, "I don't hear anything..."

"Nah, must be your imagination Naruto-kun," Ino nodded with a grin, catching on as they all worked on finishing their ramen.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" The boy practically screamed as he jumped up onto Naruto's back and started to punch at the thick material of his trenchcoat.

"Huh..." Naruto twitched slightly as he glanced at the boy, "Hey, little monkey, aren't you supposed to be bothering the old monkey or something?"

"Haha! I've got you now!" the boy said triumphantly as he grabbed hold of the collar of the jacket.

Shrugging slightly, Naruto let the coat slide of his shoulders, letting the boy drop onto the ground behind him, "Yeesh, talk about a brat."

"Who is this Naruto-kun?" Ino spoke up, as she looked down at the boy struggling against the trench coat.

"Eh, just a little monkey by the name of Konohamaru," the whisper marked boy shrugged slightly as he would casually take another bit of his ramen, "No clue why he's chasing after me though."

"K-Konohamaru...?" Hinata blinked, "As in... the Hokage's grandson...?"

"Yup, familiar with him?" the blonde arched a brow curiously at Hinata as he casually rapped Konohamaru on the top of his head with his knuckles as the boy tried to jump at him again, "Behave brat."

"Y-yes," the girl nodded, "He keeps chasing after Hanabi."

Instantly Naruto's eyes narrowed as he turned and cast a chilly gaze down at the boy, "So, you've been bothering Hinata-chan's sister hmmm?"

"Erk!" Instantly the boy pulled the coat back up, half cowering beneath it as he was caught by that chilly gaze.

"I see... nothing to say for yourself hmm?" he nodded to himself before he reached down, and grabbed hold of the boy, lifting him up to his eyes, "That just confirms your guilt!"

"Wha?! HEY!" The boy growled as he started trying to kick at Naruto's chest, "I don't bother Hanabi-chan!"

"Oh, reeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllllllllly?" The boy drew out the word with an almost angry hiss as he looked down at the boy, "Hanabi-CHAN? Awfully familiar with Hanabi-sama, hmmm?" He paused, before turning Hinata, "Hinata-chan... Does your father need to have WORDS with this little monkey?"

"Well Naruto-kun, I do believe he mentioned something along those lines," the girl paused, her finger going to her lip as she looked up, as if in thought, "Something about teaching him some manners I think it was?"

"Well, then, we shouldn't keep a clan head waiting, now should we little monkey?" the blonde boy grinned down right wickedly as he looked down at Konohamaru.

The boy in question gulped audibly as he stared up at the blue eyed boy, "N-no need for that! Its not like that! I swear!"

"Tsk the shame of it all, the outrage!" Naruto bemoaned, "The grandson of the Hokage, attempting to molest the poor, sweet, innocent daughter of the head of the Hyuga clan! Have you no shame?! No decency?!"

"Sweet, innocent?" Hinata spoke up questioningly.

"Ok, so she's a whiny brat with a stick up her ass," Naruto grinned, "But hey, you're ruining my fun!"

"Hey! Don't say that about Hanabi-ch-sama!" the dark-haired Konohamaru protested.

Naruto rapped the boy again atop his head with his free hand, "Oh, hush, I've known her longer than you monkey boy."

"Naruto-kun..." Hinata spoke up with a soft reprimand in her voice.

"What? I have!" the boy grumbled softly as he would keep the squirming boy well in hand, "I did enough bodyguard duty... not to mention the diaper changing, ugh, no kid should have to do that!"

Hinata giggled slightly while Ino just stared at the two of them, "Yeesh, I'm gonna guess you've known each other along time?"

"Dammit, let me down already!" Konohamaru, "And quit talking like I'm not here!"

"Hmm," Naruto shrugged, casually tossing the boy back onto the street with a yawn, "Why're you here anyway?"

"TEACH ME!" The boy demanded.

"Uh, No," Naruto responded before turning back around and going back to his noodles.

"Come on, you gotta teach me! Pleeeease!" the boy pleaded as he stared up at the blonde.

"Nope, only people I EVER have to even offer to teach are Hinata-chan and Hanabi," the boy responded as made a shooing motion, "Now, go away, I'm enjoying a meal with my team."

"Aw, you're just gonna send him away Naruto-kun?" Ino spoke up again as she finished a small mouthful of noodles, "Not help him at all?"

"Hey, he's already got himself an 'elite tutor'," the boy snapped back, "What the hell would he need me for?"

"But, Ebisu is so... boring!" the boy whined pitifully, "All he wants me to do is chakra basics and exercise! He doesn't teach me anything!"

"Yer point monkey brat?" Naruto shot back, "How do you think I got as good as I am? I STILL do chakra exercises every day!" he grumbled a bit before jerking his thumbs at each of the girls, "I have the worst chakra control on my team, and I've do more chakra training than the two of them both together."

"Hey! Are you calling us lazy or something?" Ino protested with a flash of anger across her eyes.

"No, I'm saying I have to work a lot more to learn chakra control at even a fraction of the pace you two do," The boy grunted, grumbling softly, "Do you have any idea how boring hundreds of hours of tree climbing is?"

"W-well, you could always tell him what you do for your training these days Naruto-kun..." Hinata offered.

"Yeah, tell me!" Konohamaru piped up excitedly while Naruto stared at her in horror.

"What, and have them after me for corrupting the Hokage's grandson?" the blonde quickly shook his head, "Plus, that's MY work out!"

"Come on! Tell me!" the boy whined unhappily, "I'll make you my boss!"

"Nah, sorry kid, I only accept pretty girls like these two," Naruto grinned as he gestured to his slightly blushing teammates.

"You... Pervert!" the Hokage's grandson exclaimed with an accusatory point.

"Hmmm..." the blonde paused a moment before he looked towards Hinata, "Hinata-chan, am I a pervert?"

"Umm..." the girl twiddled her fingers a moment before nodding, "Yes, you are Naruto-kun!"

Again, he paused a moment, before looking to the blonde girl, "Ino-chan, am I a pervert?"

"Definitely," the girl responded in all seriousness.

"See? HA!" Konohamaru crowed in triumph.

"Girls, should I stop being a pervert?" now the blonde smirked as he looked back at them.

"HELL NO!" the two proclaimed, before blushing brightly and looking down, fidgeting slightly.

The younger boy could only stare in absolute disbelief, "Wha... huh?!"

"There are things a pervert will do, that women will definitely appreciate," Naruto responded with a laugh, "As long as you're not a giggling, peeping, lecherous pervert."

"So... as long as you're not like Jiraiya-sama?" the boy offered cautiously, as Hinata immediately paled and began to inch back on her seat, eying Naruto's back carefully.

"..." the boy in question merely stared down at the younger, before he spoke in a simple, concise manner, "Do not mention that purveyor of filth and smut to me! His works should be burned as the menace upon society that they are!"

"Naruto-kun... gets a bit," Hinata paused a moment as she struggled to come up with the right words, "Emotional when his rival is mentioned."

"Come on, Naruto-kun's good, but he's not THAT good," Ino spoke, up, "Not to compete with a sannin!"

"Oh, he doesn't have THAT kind of rivalry with him," Hinata quickly corrected, "They're each others' main competition in their... genre of novels."

As the girl blushed wildly, Ino got a confused look on her face, "Huh?"

"Jiraiya, that bastard, writes the Icha Icha series!" the boy growled out, "Its all smut! There is no story, no elegance, no style! Just crass, crude, and base in both its sexuality and humor!"

"Um... Ok..." Konohamaru began to slowly inch away from the the group as he watched Hinata come up behind the boy and start stroking his hair.

"Shhh... Its all right Naruto-kun," the words were gentle, soft and silken as she whispered them upon his ear, "The bad bad books are far, far away..."

Slowly the boy nodded, beginning to slowly calm himself down. At least, he was until Kakashi chose that moment to walk directly in front of him, nose buried in a copy of the series, giggling a perverse giggle. Immediately, Naruto, twitched, then twitched again, before he threw his coat on and began to scream.

"RAAAAAAGH!" the anger burned in his voice as chains began to drop from the sleeves of his coat and whipped angrily towards Kakashi, "Accursed Icha Icha!"

"Um... should we do something?" Ino asked carefully as she watched Kakashi beginning to dodge the the snake like strikes of the chains, a sweat drop visible on the man's head.

"Yeah, run in the opposite direction!" Konohamaru spoke up before running off, "See ya!"

"Coward!" the blonde girl called back at the trailing cloud of dust, "So, Hinata-chan?"

"Read," the pale-eyed girl responded with a sage nod.

"Read?!" blue eyes widened incredulously at the response, "Naruto-kun's going berserk and you want us to READ?!"

"Not just read," Hinata corrected before pulling out a pair of books with dark covers, "Read THESE."

"Are those..." Ino asked in hushed tones as she stared at the books.

"Yes, the collector's edition of Naruto-kun's latest books!" the girl giggled happily.

"Gimme!" Ino responded as she snatched one of the books from the girl and immediately got to work, staring at the page as a soft giggle began to waft through the air, soon accompanied by another from Hinata.

Down the street, Naruto froze as a familiar sound reached his ears, causing the chains he was weaving to suddenly jerk erratically, managing to actually knock the book out of Kakashi's hands, "Author Senses, TINGLING!"

As the boy immediately started to run back down the street, the silver haired Kakashi could only stare, a slight sweat drop forming on his face, "Um... what the hell was that about?"

Back at the Ramen Shop, the two girls were avidly buried in their books, soft blushes on their cheeks as they couldn't help but giggle here and there. When Naruto zoomed back up to them, they didn't even bother looking up, waving to him at once before patting his seat again. However, just as he was about to take his seat, he felt Ino's hand, snaking out, squeezing firmly onto the boy's ass, "Oooh, yes Ino likes!"

"Eheh..." the boy nervously chuckled as he scratched the back of his head, blushing slightly, "My book, or my ass?"

"BOTH!" the answer came from both girls in stereo, before they both blushed brightly in response and giggled to one another.

"You definitely should take a squeeze Hinata-chan," Ino piped up, "So very nice!"

"I-I couldn't, not in public like this!" the girl protested, though her eyes drifted down longingly towards the boy's rear.

"Bah, you know you want to!" Ino declared as she grinned, reaching around, grabbing hold of Hinata's hand as she brought it up and pushed it against Naruto's ass with a wild grin.

"Ino... what're you doing?" a new voice spoke up in stern disbelief from behind them.

As Hinata reflexively squeezed down on Naruto's ass, as both girl's eeped and looked up back into the street to see an older man with long blonde hair pulled back in a pony-tail, as his jounin vest was half hidden by a red, sleeveless coat. His blue eyes wide, Inoichi Yamanaka let his gaze wander from his daughter, to her hand, still atop Hinata's own as it was pressed against the butt of one of Konoha's more infamous citizens, to the boy himself, to the blushing Hyuga girl. Then, his gaze immediately turned back towards Ino.

"Um..." the girl in question paused a moment, before offering up, "Helping a teammate molest another team mate?"

Whatever answer he was expecting, that was obviously not it as the man's jaw slackened in amazement as he stared at his blushing daughter, "WHAT?!?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure I didn't stutter..." the blonde girl responded before looking over at Hinata, "No offense Hinata-chan."

"N-none taken I-Ino-chan," the girl responded, blushing bright crimson as she continued to knead Naruto's ass through his coat.

"That's nice and all..." the boy spoke up, "But maybe you should take your hands off my ass?"

"Yes, PLEASE!" the older man on the street stressed as he would twitch slightly, "That would be MOST appreciated!"

Both girls reluctantly withdrew their hands, their faces flushed and crimson as they couldn't quite bring themselves to meet Inoichi's gaze, "Sorry."

"Now, would someone PLEASE tell me what's going on?" the man stressed, his eye twitching visibly now.

"Um, we passed our genin test and Naruto-kun took us to lunch?" Ino offered with a slight grin on her face.

Naruto himself had taken his seat, pulling his second bowl of Ramen into his hands, and eating away as he leaned back against the counter, watching the scene before him carefully.

"I... see," The man responded, "And exactly, how did this lead, to the... scene I just came across?"

"Ummm... well you see... its rather complicated," the blonde girl offered lamely.

"A masked jounin with silver hair walked past us, reading... a certain orange book Naruto-kun, really, REALLY doesn't like..." Hinata spoke up, "Naruto-kun chased after him for a bit... then we admiring him for his... reasons."

"Kakashi," the older blonde man twitched slightly again as he looked at the girls, "And tell me then, how did this lead to you groping his ass?!"

"Um... Ino-chan insisted?" the Hyuga girl blushed crimson as her hand reflexively twitched, as if holding the flesh in its grip once more as she felt a slight trickle of blood flow out of her nose.

Wincing Ino grumbled softly, "Thanks Hinata-chan..."

"All right... Moving past the ass squeezing..." Inoichi paused a moment before giving his daughter a meaningful glare, "For now. I'm going to guess that there isn't an Ino-Shika-Cho team then?"

Ino winced at her father's words before slowly nodding, "Yeah, Shikamaru and Chouji are on Team 8 with Forehead."

"All right, then," the man spoke up as he looked carefully to the boy and girl sitting next to his daughter, "My name is Inoichi Yamanaka, Ino's father and a member of the ANBU Interrogation squad."

"Nice to meet ya!" Naruto responded with a grin, completely unphased as the man took special care to stress his occupation, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, official performance reviewer of Konoha shinobi, capture specialist, and member of Team 10!"

"'Official performance reviewer?'" there was a raised brow at that comment.

"Oh yes, after the report I filed concerning the ANBU's performance on my last prank, the Hokage thought it would be useful for me to begin to periodically review the performances of various Konoha shinobi, at my discretion of course," the boy responded happily, "He thought my first report was very informative!"

"..." Inoichi stared at the boy for a long moment, twitching for a moment, "Would you be implying something kid?"

"Only that I'm VERY protective of my team," the boy responded as he looked back into the man's eyes, "And that I've been taking on jounin and ANBU for a few years now, the intimidation act doesn't work on me..."

"Right kid..." the man responded, slightly speculative.

"Ask Ibiki about the rubber chicken," the boy responded simply.

"... Right," Inoichi only shook his head with a slight sigh before he turned to look at the blushing Hyuga girl, "And, I do believe you're Hiashi's daughter, Hinata, correct?"

"Y-yes Sir," the girl nodded with a blush as she clung to Naruto's side.

"So then, who's your sensei?" the man asked curiously, as he idly twitched at how Naruto continued to carelessly devour his ramen.

"Kurenai Yuhi and Anko Mitarashi," Ino spoke up cheerfully.

"..." Inoichi stared at his daughter for a long moment, "Please tell me you're joking..."

"Nope!" Naruto spoke up, "Anko-chan listened to Iruka-sensei talk about how much he enjoyed teaching so much, that she decided to give it a try, and since we're designed to be a capture and retrieval squad... We got lucky!"

Inoichi stared at the beaming face of the boy, and twitched once more, "Lucky... right... you don't know Mitarashi very well then."

"Uh, actually I know Anko-chan VERY well," the boy responded as he suddenly hardened his gaze, "Including all the BS she still has to go through because of the snake."

"Right, ok then..." the look in the boy's eyes was slightly unnerving how quickly it changed as soon as he perceived a slight against one of his friends, "Okay then... I only have one question..."

"Yes Inoichi-san?" the boy spoke up.

The man pointed towards Hinata before asking, "Does your father know you're groping boys at Ramen stands?"

-The Academy-

"Team seven!" Kakashi Hakate spoke up as he entered the room, grumbling a bit as he shook his hand lightly.

"YOU'RE LATE!" a voice screamed out while a pair of quite, annoyed grunts could be heard following it.

"Sorry, I was attacked by a crazy chain wielding author at the ramen stand down the street for..."

"LIAR!"

"But... I was! He knocked away my precious before being called away by his fans!"

"LIAR!!!!"

"My first impression is..." Kakashi twitched before glaring at them with a single eye, "I hate you all."

End Note:

Hmmm...

Heh took a bit longer than I planned to get this done, but I was stalled on the start for a bit.

Enjoy


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Author's Note: I was originally gonna add in a bar scene with the jounin instructors in the previous chapter, but... I couldn't help it, I wanted so desperately to end with that Kakashi and team 7 scene. Heh.

Fic Begins, now!

-Hyuga Compound-

"Inoichi Yamanaka to see Hiashi," Ino's father said simply to the pale eyed guard at the gate as he would lightly cross his arms about his chest.

"Ah, do you have an appointment with Hiashi-sama?" the man responded simply as he gave the man a stiff bow.

"No," the man responded, "Tell him I'm here to speak to him, in regards to our daughters."

"Ah," the man spoke up again, "Am I to assume you refer to Hinata-sama?" there was a slight contempt thrown against the girl's name as he would stand neutrally before the man.

"Yes, now, if you would be so kind as to let him know I'm here," there was no question in those words, the man's blue eyes, suddenly hard as they bore down into the pale eyes of the man before him.

"Ah, of course," again the man responded, a nod of his head, before he turned and slipped into the compound.

Inoichi twitched slightly as he watched the man go, the controlled contempt he'd shown of his own clan's heir, and his daughter's teammate... For a moment, he couldn't help but wonder how far had their village fallen. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he waited, patiently, where he was, until the man finally returned, giving Inoichi a deeper bow this time.

"Ah, please follow me Yamanaka-sama," the man said quietly, slightly cowed for the moment for some reason before turning and leading him into the man building.

The blonde man merely nodded his head in silence, saying nothing as he would move through the pristine and immaculate halls of the compound, his arms still crossed until he was brought to the office of the waiting Hiashi. The stern face of the dark haired man, nodded to Inoichi's escort in dismissal before he gestured to the seat in front of his desk, "What can I do for you today Inoichi-san?"

"I came across an interesting scene today Hiashi," there was an almost casual ease to the man's words, as he purposely left off any honorifics, "It would seem that team selections didn't go quite as I had... imagined they would."

"Oh?" the dark-haired man responded as he looked down at some papers before him, idly scanning through them, "I am to imagine then, that your daughter is on a team with my own and Naruto then?"

"Ah, I see you've already been informed of the teams then?" the blonde man shifted slightly, a look of annoyance flashing across his eyes.

"No, I merely know Naruto," there was a faint smile on Hiashi's face as he gently set aside his paper work, "I highly doubt he wouldn't have taken steps to ensure that he and my daughter were on the same team, considering how he purposely failed his previous examinations solely for that purpose."

Inoichi twitched slightly as he heard the response, "I... See."

"The boy is very... driven," Hiashi allowed, a rueful smile on his face as he would lightly lean back, "When he has a goal, to be an obstacle to it, is not something that's generally... pleasant."

"First hand experience?" the response was dry as the blonde man merely arched a brow up.

Hiashi chuckled softly at the man's words before nodding gently, "Yes, years of it," the man paused then, allowing a slight, wistful smile to cross his features, "The boy was my wife's student after all."

Ino's father froze softly in place, the color, slowly draining from his face as he looked into Hiashi's amused eyes, "You mean, he practices THAT style?"

"I would have thought his profile to have been required reading for all upper level ninja by now," Hiashi chuckled just a bit, "Considering his... tendencies in how he trains himself."

"I find myself... suddenly, very very worried about my daughter," Inoichi grumbled softly as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes darkening slightly.

"Oh?" Hiashi shrugged slightly, "Despite how he seems, Naruto is a good person. He's been willing to protect my daughters with his life since he was a child..."

The man paused, his eyes darkening a moment as he took a deep breath, calming himself before continuing, "During the... 'incident' with Kumo, Naruto was almost mortally wounded stalling the man," Hiashi took a slow, deep breath at that, "I still don't know how he survived, the blood loss alone..."

Inoichi was silent, he could remember the incident which cost Hiashi his twin, watching the man before him, as the dark haired man continued, "He was still conscious, some how, when I brought Hinata back, the boy actually managed to smile when he saw she was safe. He simply refused to die," the man shook his head, before chuckling just a bit, "And after it was all over... He refused to let me go."

Hiashi looked up then, his eyes locking onto Inoichi, "The boy saved me, from myself. If he hadn't been there..." he shook his head softly, "I don't want to think of what I would have done."

"He sounds like an amazing child," Inoichi responded softly, before he looked up into Hiashi's eyes, "That doesn't change the fact though, that I came across them at a Ramen shop, with my daughter putting your daughter's hand on the boy's ass and getting her to squeeze."

The dark-haired man, twitched slightly, before putting his face lightly against his palm, "So... you're worried about your daughter corrupting mine?"

"Wha... Well," the blonde man froze slightly before twitching, nervously, "I don't want anyone's daughters to get corrupted!"

"Well, as it is..." Hiashi shifted a bit uncomfortably, "My daughter does tend to... Take after me."

"Meaning...?" there was a sharp look in Inoichi's eyes as he looked back at Hiashi.

"Well," the man coughed slightly, his reserved face coloring slightly, "You do recall what I was like at that age, don't you?"

"Huh," the man considered for a moment as he thought back, "You were always the quiet one as I recall... Didn't you faint the first couple of times your wife flirted with you?"

The flush on the man's face only grew as he gave a slow, pained nod, "Ah, yes... I had... forgotten that," the look turned sour, "Thank you for reminding me."

"Yeah, yeah," the man waved his hand, "Though, it was funny when she started leading you around on a leash after a while."

The dark haired man twitched again before burying his face in his hands and shifting slightly, to keep himself comfortable, "Ah yes... Like I said, she takes after her father, instead of her mother."

"So, what're you saying Hiashi?" the blonde man sighed, eying the man across from him.

"Both our daughters are perverts," the man shrugged slightly, "Learn to live with it."

"Learn to live with it...?" the man glared back at Hiashi, "She's my baby! My princess!"

"Who was publicly putting another girl's hand on a guy's ass, probably getting a feel for it herself," the pale eyed man shot back, "And if you think women can't be perverted..." the man chuckled softly as he looked back at Inoichi, "Need I remind you... of BOTH our wives?"

Inoichi paled again, the color simply draining from his face as his eyes grew wide, "Oh god..."

"Indeed," Hiashi nodded back, before reaching into his desk, pulling out a bottle of sake and a pair of dishes, "Drink?"

"Bar?" the man responded back, "I think... I'm going to need a lot more than just that."

"Yes, I think we both might," Hiashi nodded back, before a simple, sadistic grin slipped across his face, as he rose up, "Oh, by the way, did you happen to see any... books with the girls?"

"Huh?" the man paused, before blinking as he thought back, "Yeah, they each had a dark covered book with them, that they'd been reading I think... why?"

"Oh, Inoichi my friend..." Hiashi walked around, slinging an arm about the man's shoulder, "Welcome to my hell."

And with that, he deposited one of those books into the blonde man's hand, "My daughter's favorite series... and I'm going to guess, soon to be your daughter's as well."

Cautiously, the man opened up the book, before his eyes widened even more, a slight whimper breaking through his lips, "Oh... gods..."

"Yes, indeed," Hiashi nodded sagely, "Shall we go get those drinks then?"

"I... Yes, we shall," the man nodded quickly, his eyes still glued to the pages before him, "We most definitely shall!"

And with that, the two stood up, and made a beeline through the compound, straight to the nearest bar they could find.

-Back at Ichiraku Ramen-

"Did you guys just get a chill running down your spine?" Naruto spoke up, looking from one girl to the other.

"Hmm?" Ino looked up from where her nose was still buried in her book, her face flushed slightly, "Nope, not me Naruto-kun."

"N-not me either Naruto-kun," Hinata responded, letting off a soft little giggle as she stared at the pages in front of her.

"Huh, it was as if someone was trying to warn me about something," the boy paused a moment, considering, "Hmm... Ah well. So, you girls still up for that prank?"

Ino instantly broke into a down right evil grin as she nodded, eagerly, before quickly getting up and grabbing Hinata, "In fact, we're going to go get started on it right now!"

"B-but-but!" the dark-haired girl protested, "Naruto-kun! Book! CUDDLES!"

Ino leaned in, and suddenly whispered something into Hinata's ear. The girl instantly flushed crimson, a spot of blood appearing beneath her nose as she bursted into a string of perverted little giggles, "Why didn't you say so Ino-chan? See you soon Naruto-kun!"

Instantly, both girls were zooming down the street, giggling madly to one another as they whispered plans and thoughts one to the other. Back at the ramen shop, Naruto, stared after them, before turning to the owner, "Why do I get the feeling I should be worried?"

"Oh, you should be," Teuchi agreed with a smile and a twinkling wink, "But, in a good way."

"I'm in for a ride, aren't I?"

"Of your life kid, of your life."

-The Next Morning, Training Ground 13-

Naruto lounged back up against a tree, a slight yawn escaping his lips as he half dozed off. His forehead protector was pulled low, covering his eyes as the early morning sun glinted across the etched metal. The boy looked, to be in an idyllic repose, peaceful and quiet.

And as it so happened to be, the first thing Anko saw when she arrived at the Training grounds. Her eyes growing wide with mischief, she slowly began to creep towards the boy in exaggerated fashion, moving on the tips of her toes as her body hunched forward. Just as she loomed over the boy, she took a slow, deep breath, then suddenly, practically screamed out, "BOO!"

The figure she loomed over, suddenly exploded in coils of ensnaring rope as in twice in as many days, Anko fell victim to the boy's exploding rope clone technique.

"Mmmph! MPH!" the woman attempted to scream as she wiggled about, struggling against her bonds as she heard a voice from above.

"Morning Anko-chan, that wasn't very nice of you," Naruto grinned down at her, "Plus... did you REALLY think I'd just be napping in plain sight on my own?"

"Mph," the woman grunted softly as she glared sulkily up at him.

"Hmm, I wonder," the boy paused a moment, putting his finger to his lip in thought, "I wonder how Iruka-sensei would like to have YOU be the one tied up and helpless for a change?"

"Mmm..." a slight trickle of blood pouring past the spiky haired woman's nose as she flushed even more, her eyes glazing over was the boy's only response.

"And, of course, she likes that idea," blue eyes sparkled as the boy shook his head, "Why am I not surprised?"

Chuckling softly, the boy shook his head before shifting just a bit as he got more comfortable on his tree limb and looked out over the wooded area of their training ground. He'd gotten up early, again today, though, and made his way back to the training ground. After a decent warm up, he lounged back, just enjoying a bit of rest as he waited for the rest of the team and his teachers to show, a rope.

As boredom began to arise, the boy dropped one arm, letting it hand loose at his side while a length of rope began to slither down, moving down the tree with its knotted tip before beginning to crawl over to Anko. The woman in question began to worry, when the rope began to wind itself against her chest. Slowly, ever so slowly it tightened, by the the rope tied itself into a knot, securing itself about her torso, before she could only watch in fear as the boy waggled his brows , holding up the other end of the rope from his tree branch.

"MM!" the woman began to squirm, trying to work out of the ropes just as she saw the boy simply jump off the branch.

Immediately her body was jerked up, almost flying into the air as the body pulled her up, her body soon dangling in mid air as he smiled, carefully tying off his end of the rope as he left Anko to dangle from the tree, "Now Anko-chan, what've you learned from this experience?"

"Mmm mmph!"the women growled as she struggled to speak through the ropes gagging her.

Pulling out his note book, he idly began to scribble away, "Ya know, 'Stab first' isn't the kind of response that's going to make me want to let you down any sooner."

The woman glared back at him as he would grin up at her for a moment, before suddenly cackling like mad as he furiously wrote in his notebook, "Oh yes... that works... that works PEEEEEERFECTLY!"

Anko couldn't help but feel the trickle of cold sweat running down the side of her face at the boy's words, a tremor of fear running through her body as she stared down at the boy with wide eyes. Pausing a moment, the boy looked back up at the woman and began to stroke against his chin, "Hmmm... I could always use some more of those tags..."

Her eyes almost bugged out of her skull at the boy's words, a slow whimper of fear beginning to escape her lips, before she heard his next words, "I wonder if Iruka-sensei would like some?"

Anko's head almost flew off as she nodded, sending her body swaying about on the tree branch as she couldn't help but giggle into her gag. As if seeing her reaction, the boy grinned to himself, "Perhaps I should give him a nice instructional guide I wonder? Some nice ways to tie up his girl," He paused, ignoring the growing trickle of blood coming from Anko's nose.

"Perhaps advice on which toys to use? Hmmm..." the boy paused and grins, "How many HOURS to keep up the teasing, a nice progression chart to give him extra ideas on how to move from one to the other... And keep his girl boiling hmmm..."

The woman was sweating now, her eyes glazed over as she couldn't help but shiver in delight at the possibilities, "mmmm"

"Are you having fun Naruto?" a new voice asked as Kurenai casually walked onto the field, eying the pair.

"Oh, definitely Kurenai-sensei," the boy responded, "If you'd have given me a few more minutes, I would have had Anko-chan properly marinated and half cooked."

"So I can see," the woman responded dryly as she looked up at her friend, whose face was flushed positively crimson while she dangled in mid air, "And why is Anko tied up this time?"

"She thought I was lying down against the tree taking a nap," the boy responded simply, "So, she thought she'd come over and wake me up."

"Ah, I see," the woman nodded, "Another of those exploding rope clones of yours?"

"What can I say?" the boy shrugged before grinning, "I love that technique."

"That's become rather obvious I think," the red eyed woman chuckled, "So, how much longer you intend to leave her hanging like that?"

"I dunno," the boy paused, before looking at her hopefully, "The rest of the day?"

"MMPH!" came the muffled protest overhead.

"While it is tempting," the woman admitted as she smiled up at her friend, " I do need her to come with me later on to turn in our report that you three passed,"

"Hmm..." the boy pondered, "I'll let her out at the end of practice?"

"Well, I don't exactly NEED her help to start you three off..." the woman considered, lightly tapping her finger against her lip.

"MMMM!" the angry protests resumed as Anko struggled valiantly against the ropes.

"Hm," the boy said thoughtfully, "Well, is Iruka-sensei working today?"

"Mmmm...?" the woman overhead let out a speculative sound.

"I don't know, think she'd be interested?" Kurenai responded.

"How do you think I was cooking her?" the boy responded with that wide, almost innocent grin.

"Mmm!" there was an indignant sound above them, while Anko flushed a startling crimson.

"So, the next time she's being... well Anko, I could just tie her up, and dump her off with her boyfriend?"

"Mmm," Anko mulled that one over, visibly, considering the pros and cons as Naruto countered.

"Depends, you want to encourage or discourage her?" the blonde shot back.

"Good point," the woman almost giggled, "Sorry Anko, no delivering you to your Iruka-kun unless you're on your best behavior!"

"Mmph!" the woman grunted in annoyance.

"If you're really good, we'll do it with ribbon and a nice bow, sound fair?" Naruto offered.

"Mmmmm..." there was another speculative look in Anko's eyes as she dangled where she did.

"Yeah, thought so," the boy laughed softly before looking at Kurenai, "I'll get her down with the girls get here."

"That'll work," Kurenai smiled and nodded before she pulled out the book from yesterday and buried her nose in it, beginning to giggle softly at it.

"Uh... you're not going to be reading that when you're supposed to be training us right?" Naruto said worriedly.

"Mmm? Oh, of course not!" she paused a moment, "But, it IS a very good book! You're a talented writer!"

"Thanks, nice to be appreciated," the boy grinned softly, "Tell you what, make sure to give us your full attention for the training and I'll give you the rest of the series."

"The... rest of the series?" the woman quirked a brow, an intrigued look in her eyes.

"I can write, very fast," the boy grinned, "Though, these days, with Shadow Clones?" the boy just grinned, "They're great for taking care of stuff like that, cleaning, writing, observing."

"Try using them for chakra training," The woman suggested casually as she glanced back at her book, "Since you retain their memories..."

The rest left unsaid, the boy's eyes widened before he grinned, broadly, "Kurenai-sensei, I could kiss you!"

"HEY!" a pair of outraged voices sounded from the distance as Hinata and Ino came storming into view.

"Oh, hey girls," Naruto waved casually as he yawned, "Wanna play some whack the Anko-pinata?"

"MMMPH!!!!" the jounin suspended practically screeched against the gag as she squirmed and wiggled wildly.

"I think all you'd get out of her are condoms and kunai," Kurenai commented dryly, "No offense Anko."

"Mph," the woman above them grunted.

"Never mind that!" Ino quickly interrupted.

"What's this about KISSING Kurenai-sensei?!" Hinata practically screeched, her eyes ablaze as she stared at the boy.

"Oh, she just gave me a really awesome training idea!" the boy responded cheekily, before pausing, as he grinned at the pair, "What, did you two want those kisses for yourselves?"

Instantly the pair of girls anger was washed away in a flush of embarrassment as they couldn't quite bring themselves to meet his gaze. Ino grumbled slightly as she stepped forward, her hands on her hips, her voice low and warning "Naruto-kun..."

"Yes, Ino-chan?" the boy asked guilelessly as he blinked those brilliant blue eyes at her.

"...You're doing that on purpose," the blonde girl pouted as she half glared at him.

"Doing what on purpose Ino-chan?" Those eyes, sparkling even more as he would put his notebook away, before he walked over to her, his fingers reaching out, a brush against her flushed chee as he lightly leaned in, whispering against her ear, "Making you weak in the knees?"

"Yessss..." the girl hissed out, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment, almost sinking into his words before she shook herself, trying to force a glare into her eyes, "I mean..."

He laughed, as he pulled away, moving over to Hinata to wrap her up in a warm hug, "Good morning Hinata-chan."

"G-good morning Naruto-kun" the girl smiled as she bowed her head happily, flushing slightly as she eagerly pressed herself back into his hug.

"Did you two have a good night?" the boy smiled as he slipped around, coming up behind both of them, his arms, gently settling on the smalls of their backs.

"Well, up until dad came in drunk off his ass, mumbling something about me taking after mom," Ino grumbled as she leaned against the boy's chest, not seeing the bug-eyed look crossing both Kurenai and Anko's faces, "But, funny thing was, he didn't do it with Shikaku or Chouza..."

"H-huh..." Hinata blinked slightly as she snuggled into Naruto's side herself, "Father also came in rather... Inebriated last night... I don't think I've ever heard of him going out and drinking before... and he was... speaking something about his daughters taking after him?"

Snickering giggles could be heard coming from the two instructors as the trio turned and looked towards their widely grinning teachers. Blinking slightly, Naruto stared at the two women, "What's so funny?"

"Mm mmph mmm!" Anko spoke up through her gagged mouth, her eyebrows waggling suggestively.

"Okay, why is Anko-sensei tied up again?" Ino asked as she looked up at the spiky haired woman.

"Oh, we thought we'd start off the day with a game of whack the Anko-pinata," Naruto spoke up cheerily, "Good way to get the blood flowing!"

"N-Nar-Naruto-kun," Hinata blinked owlishly, "You don't mean that, do you?"

"Meh, well, not really," the boy admitted sheepishly.

"Oh," the girl responded with a look of disappointment on her face.

Anko twitched visibly as she saw the disappointment in the girl's eyes, glaring balefully back at the group.

"Can I use her for practicing my Gentle Fist then, Kurenai-sensei?" the Hyuga spoke up, bright eyed and eager as she smiled at the red eyed woman.

"Well..." the woman reached up, cupping her chin thoughtfully as she looked back at her friend, "It does work best against a living practice dummy..."

"mmmm..." Anko whimpered audibly as she struggled once more against the ropes.

"Heh," the boy grinned, "Poor Anko-chan... But, I think the girls were asking you two a question?"

Instantly Kurenai froze as she shifted nervously, "Oh, It's nothing... nothing much at all."

"Uh... huh," Ino narrowed her eyes, ass he crossed her hands about her chest, "Start talking!"

"I am... rather curious myself," Hinata added as she looked skeptically at the women as she arched an elegant brow upwards.

"Well you see..." Kurenai paused before grinning, "Ask Anko, she knows more about than me!"

Naruto looked at the twitching of the girls next to him before carefully looking back to the now visibly sweating Anko, "Um... Hmmm... You two wouldn't be about to say something like their mothers being the two most perverted kunoichi of their day?"

Both girls blinked a moment, before suddenly turning incredulous looks onto their teammate.

"What?" the boy shrugged slightly with a grin, "I know for a fact Hinata-chan's mother was."

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata blushed a violent crimson as she eeped softly, her eyes turning away as she couldn't help but shiver slightly at the thought.

"Hey, she was my sensei, remember?" the boy grinned happily as he would lean down, kissing lightly on Hinata's neck, "And, you never complained before."

"Eeeee," the girl squealed happily before immediately taking a death grip on his arm, snuggling against him with everything she had, "Mmm... Naruto-kun..."

"Oooookay," Ino slowly drawled out, blinking a bit at the girl's reaction, before twitching slightly, "So, Naruto-kun..." the girl grinned wickedly as she leaned in, lightly breathing against his neck, "Are you saying... I'm a pervert?"

"Hmmm," the boy paused, considering as he looked down at the woman smiling a predator's grin back at him, before leaning in, suddenly nipping at her neck as he dragged his teeth against her soft skin, "Yes."

The girl shivered, a slight whimper escaping her lips before twitching and curling against him even tighter, "Mean."

"Anko..." Kurenai spoke up carefully as she looked at her tied up friend.

"Mmm?" the woman in question responded curiously.

"How wrong is it to be jealous of your genin?" the red eyed kunoichi twitched slightly.

"Mmm," Anko shrugged back at her, before leering at the floor show once more.

"Me either," the woman sighed, "All right, playtime's over, get Anko down so we can start training."

Ino and Hinata both pouted as they snuggled tightly against Naruto's side, "But we wanna plaaaaaaay!"

Naruto himself, couldn't help but sweatdrop slightly at the girls, before chuckling nervously towards the jounins, "Ah, heh... this could take a sec."

Both women could feel the drops of sweat slowly rolling along the sides of their faces as the two girls giggled happily.

-Later, the Hokage's office-

"Well, which genin teams are going to be in rotation this time?" Sarutobi spoke up with a smile.

"Team 7, passes," there was a hint of resignation in his voice as Kakashi stuck his nose in his book, "Barely."

"Team 8 passes," Asuma spoke up with a grin, "Though, I pity the guys."

"And Team 10?" the Hokage spoke up, directing his gaze towards where Kurenai and Anko had their noses buried in books, before coughing softly, "Kurenai, Anko?"

"Hmm? Did you say something?" both girls looked up as they spoke simultaneously, while they faces held a slight flush.

"Team 10, do they pass?" the group of jounin could feel a drop of sweat each falling down the sides of their heads.

"Oh, I don't know Anko-chan, what do you think?" Kurenai turned her head, looking at her partner, "Do you think they pass?"

"I'm not sure Nai-chan, they were awfully rough..." The woman pouted softly, "I still feel all stiff and sore, its soooo hard to walk!"

"I know, you poor baby," The woman nodded, patting her on the shoulder, "The way they all ganged up on you, tying you down, doing all those horrible things to you."

Anko sniffled audibly as she leaned back against her friend, "And the things they promised to do to me! All those horrible things! And the worst part of it all!"

"Yes, I know... I know" the woman patted consolingly on her friend's shoulder.

"The worst part of all?" Asuma spoke up, a slightly twitching look to his face.

"They wouldn't follow through and do it!" Anko turned her head and cried, directly onto Kurenai's bosom as she clutched her friend tightly, "Getting me all worked up and eager to go, then not following through! It was horrible!"

"There, there," the red eyed woman soothed, "I'm sure next time Naruto will be happy to tie you up with a ribbon on Iruka's bed."

"You think so Nai-chan?" the woman spoke up, her eyes suddenly sparkling with delight, "You really think so!?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she responded back, "In between the girls driving their fathers to drinking I'm certain they'll be happy to serve you up to Iruka," she paused a moment, before grinning, "And remember, Naruto promised to sit down and have 'The Talk' with poor Iruka."

The chuunin in question gulped audibly as he shrank slightly from his position next to the Hokage's desk, not daring to to meet the incredulous and more than a few jealous stares directed at him. Coughing next to the man, the Hokage himself spoke up, "So then, I'll assume that Naruto and his team passed?"

"Oh, do they!" Kurenai and Anko responded, a glazed look in their eyes, "His books alone... " in unison, they sighed happily before instantly their noses returned to the books in question, quiet, perverted giggles rising up from between them.

Sarutobi chuckled a bit at the woman's antics as he would continue, "Their skills, their teamwork?"

"Heh, was there ever any doubt?" Anko chuckled softly, "You know how good the brat is."

"He and Hinata work very well together already," Kurenai grinned, before blushing softly, "Very... VERY well."

A wide grin curled across the woman's face, Anko giggled softly as she continued, "And Ino's already showing signs at fitting almost perfectly in with them. Hell, they even took it into their own hands to dole out punishment amongst themselves..." the woman pouted softly, "Just because they didn't think I'd be... appropriate in how I would punish Ino for calling me names."

"Weeeeeeeeelllllll..." Kurenai was grinning softly, "I think she was giving a rather... accurate description of how you were acting with your boyfriend... In front of all those innocent genin too!"

Iruka was blushing again as he tried to shrink down into nothing in his chair, hiding from the gazes sent his way as Anko pouted back, "But he's sooo cute!"

Everyone was simply staring at the two, playful, giggling kunoichi as they bantered back and forth at a loss for what to say. At least, everyone save a chuckling old man, "Ah, welcome to the Naruto Effect."

"Oh, that reminds me old man!" Anko piped up, "Naruto wanted to know if he was able to give those Performance Reviews to other genin teams."

"I don't see why not," The man smiled back at her, "Though the pay grade will of course be lower, how much so dependent on if the team's jounin instructors are involved or not."

The jounin instructors in the room could feel a cold shiver running down their spines as they stared from the innocent smile on the Hokage's face, to the cheerful grin on Anko's as she continued, "Good to know! Though, since he's now in a team, will you allow his teammates to take part in these missions?"

"So long as they contribute to the final report, I don't see why not."

"Hehehehehe," Anko was giggling now, her eyes blazing, "This is gonna be soooo much fun! I can't believe I didn't give this a try sooner!"

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi spoke up, carefully as he eyed the woman, "Why do you hate us?"

"Why Kakashi, whatever gave you that idea?" the old man smiled back at the silver haired jounin, "Think of all the extra training that your students will get from this!"

"I was attacked in the middle of the street by one of their students!" the man protested, "In broad daylight!"

"You were walking down the street reading Icha Icha," Kurenai deadpanned, "Reading that filth, where children can see? Really!"

"He made me late for meeting my team!"

"Don't you usually get lost on the road of life anyway?" Anko countered sarcastically.

"Well, yes, but that's besides the point!"

"And you're telling us, that a jounin like you, couldn't handle a newly genin?" Kurenai teased, "Maybe you're one of the ones that needs the first performance review."

"Why Nai-chan, I think that's a great idea!" Anko agreed, her eyes sparkling, "We'll have to talk to Naruto about it straight away!"

"I do believe you're right Anko-chan!" the woman nodded happily back to her, "Especially considering his... thoughts, on Icha Icha."

"Leave my Icha Icha out of it!" Kakashi cried fearfully, clutching the orange book to his chest, "Its done nothing to you!"

"To us? Nope, not at all," Anko grinned, "To Naruto...? Now that's a different story, entirely."

"All I have to say is...This is going to be an interesting year," Kurenai grinned before looking back into her book and just... giggling once more.

"Yes, I do believe it is," the Hokage agreed, his smile visible on his face, "I do believe it is."

-Yamanaka Household-

"Hey daddy!" Ino called happily, a broad grin written across her face as she practically skipped into their home, despite the almost ruined state of her clothes.

She was covered in dust and dirt from head to toe, tears all along the fabrics of her outfit, with stains of all kinds splattered across it. Cuts and scrapes, with flecks of dried blood popped up here and there, criss crossing her body as her hair clung matted and knotted to her skin. But still, it did nothing to dim the triumphant smile written happily on her face.

Inoichi himself, simply stared back at her from his seat in the kitchen, unable to quite comprehend how his daughter, his princess, always so concerned about her appearance, seemed to be reveling in the clinging signs of exertion, "My, you seem happy today... Something happen I should know about?"

"We had our first training session!" the girl almost giggled as she got into a chair across from him and practically melted into it.

"Ah I see," the man frowned slightly before canting his head lightly to the side, "And... that's why you don't care about your clothes being how they are?"

The girl paused a moment, struggling against herself, before slowly shaking her head, "I... actually don't. Its weird, but I'm happier about having a really productive training session than I'm upset about ruining my clothes."

"Sounds like my little princess is actually turning into a kunoichi," the man smiled back at her as he watched how she thoughtfully nodded her head.

"Yeah... Thanks to my team!" the girl grinned happily, "I don't know what I would've done if I'd been stuck with Chouji and Shikamaru... They don't do anything!"

"I take it that Naruto and Hinata are different?" the man smiled as he carefully sipped at his tea.

"Oh yeah, a lot different," the girl nodded happily, "They actually LIKE to train, and they keep pushing each other, and me. They encourage each other to try harder! And Naruto... he's just amazing what he can do!"

"So I... hear," the man smiled slightly again as he took another sip from his tea, "So what're you going to do tonight princess?"

"Oh, gonna get cleaned up, then Hinata and I are going to help Naruto mess with the guys," the girl said non-nonchalantly, "How about you? Going drinking with Hinata's dad again?"

Inoichi almost spit out his tea at that, before calming himself quickly as he gave her a sheepish look, "Oh, figured it out huh?"

"Really dad," the girl rolled her eyes with a grin, "We ARE teammates you know," she giggled softly, "It wasn't too hard to figure out when we realized you two were blubbering about the same thing when you came home last night."

"Errr... I don't quite remember that honestly," the man responded sheepishly as he watched his daughter stand up, then saunter towards the bathroom.

"Oh, you didn't say too much..." the girl grinned back over her shoulder, "Just about how I was taking after Mom so much."

The man froze, paling slightly as he managed to clear his throat with a nod, "Ah, I see..."

Just before she vanished into the bath, she cast him one last look, with a devilish grin, "Of course... From what my instructors told me... I really am."

A perverted, and hauntingly familiar giggle filled the air as Inoichi only paled even further as he watched his daughter vanish behind the door. A shiver ran down his spine, as he was inflicted with a sense of icy dread only fathers could feel concerning their daughters. This was very bad.

-Hyuga Compound-

"Did you have a good day Hinata?" Hiashi asked as he sensed his daughter walking past the door of his office, sipping lightly at his tea as he went over a scroll.

"Y-yes father," the girl responded with a panting little blush as she offered a slight smile, her condition much the same as her teammate's had been, "And yours?"

"Well enough, well enough," the man paused a moment, "Though I did receive a few rather... alarming requests to interceded with young Naruto concerning his new... appointment by the Hokage."

"Did your hangover give you any troubles?" the girl asked, that smile on her lips quite innocent as she smiled at her father.

"Ah," the man coughed uncomfortably as he shifted uneasily on his chair, "I take it that you are aware of my... escapade last night."

"You woke me up when you came home," the girl giggled softly, "I haven't heard you singing that much since... in quite a while."

She ended her sentence softly, a distant look in her eyes before she smiled softly, "And you made some very interesting comments.

"Ah," the man twitched again, shifting even more uncomfortably in his seat, "I'm afraid I don't quite... recollect."

"Oh, its nothing much father," the girl smiled, "Apparently you and Yamanaka-san were having quite the time talking about daughters taking after their mothers."

The man slowly paled, gulping audibly as he would neutrally respond, "I... see. And how did you know I was out with... Yamanaka-san?"

"Oh, Ino-chan and I had a nice talk about it... along with Kurenai-sensei and Anko-sensei," the girl spoke up cheerfully, "Though, they were saying something about how I took after both my parents."

"Yes, I will agree with that," the Hyuga clan head was actually blushing at his daughter's words as he refused to look up at her.

"Well, I'm going to take a bath and get cleaned up father," Hinata spoke up cheerfully, "Then I'm going to go have some fun with Ino-chan and Naruto-kun."

"I... see," the man nodded, "Very good."

"Oh, and father?" her voice was heard down the hall, "You should go out more often... Especially if it gets you singing again."

The man twitched slightly as he put his head into his hands, shaking softly as he blushed as brightly as he daughter could.

End Note:

Eheh... Coming hopefully in the next chapter... The great... Nah, I'll let ya'll find out on your own.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Author's notes: Hrm... Meh

Fic begins

"I'm going out!" Ino called out, grinning back at her father as she stood in an all concealing raincoat as she smiled cheekily at her father, a touch of make up on her face.

"Hold it," Inoichi frowned as he looked at his daughter, watching her as she froze, those blue eyes of his narrowing slowly, "Turn around."

"Yes daddy?" the girl smiled innocently as she looked back at her father, batting her own blue eyes back at him.

"What's with the coat?" his arms were crossing his chest now, a warning tone slipping into his voice.

"Now daddy, don't you trust me?" the girl smiled back at him.

"What's with the coat." the man repeated his eyes narrowing even more.

"Are you REALLY sure you want to know daddy?" the girl grinned back at him, her eyes filled with a mischievous delight, "And think, VERY carefully on that."

The man opened his mouth to say, yes, he sure as he did want to know what she had on under there, before a growing pit in the middle of his stomach spoke its own mind, "Princess...."

"I'm a kunoichi of the leaf now daddy," the girl spoke up casually, "And you KNOW what that can entail."

The man flinched back at those words, images coming unbidden to his mind that he really, really didn't want to think about, "Ino..."

"Besides, I think you can get a pretty good idea of just what I might have under here if you think about it," The girl smirked casually back at her father, "I told you, Hinata-chan and I are going to do something to mess with the rest of our genin class. If they thought they were jealous of him before..."

Inoichi could only stare as his daughter let off a giggle that bordered somewhere between perverted and maniacal, "Just... Be safe then, all right?"

"Of course!" the girl rolled her eyes, "I'm gonna have Hinata-chan and Naruto-kun with me. Its not like we're gonna have sex!" the girl paused then, her thoughts trailing off as a small leer appeared on her face along with a small trickle of blood, "Though..."

"ENOUGH!" there was a look of helplessness and anger on the man's face as he waved his hands, violently across his face, "NO more! Please, No More!"

"Well, I did warn you daddy," Ino smiled back at her father, "Have a good night!"

And with that, Inoichi Yamanaka watched as his daughter slipped out of their house, to enjoy the rest of her afternoon, leaving her father to groan softly in their house, "I need a drink."

-Hyuga Compound-

"Hinata-sama," the pale eyes of Neji Hyuga watched as his cousin was discretely taking her leave from the compound, brow furrowing just slightly at her appearance, dressed in nothing more than an over-sized raincoat and a pair of boots.

"Y-yes, Neji?" the girl spoke up, almost timidly as she looked up at her cousin's eyes, was that make up he could see on her face?

"Where are you going?" the words were cold and clipped as he spoke, staring hard at her.

"Out," the words were said, simply and firmly as there was a sudden fire of defiance in her eyes.

"And what are you wearing?" the boy frostily replied.

The girl grinned back at him with a soft blush on her cheeks, "Clothes."

"Hinata-sama..." the boy glared back at her.

"Go away Neji," the girl responded before she turned and continued on her way back down the street.

Or, at least she tried to until she could feel her cousin's hand, gripping on her arm, "Hinata-sama, you should remember your place in our Clan. It would not do to have the clan heiress wandering around like a common..."

The girl shook her arm free as she interupted the boy, her eyes suddenly frigidly cold as she glared back at him, "Neji-san, I am going to say this once more. Go away."

"Hinata-sama," he hissed the last part of words like an insult as he would grab once more upon her coat, "You Will come with me to see your father. Now."

"No, as a matter of fact I won't," There was anger there now, pure and bubbling beneath her eyes as she would almost growl back at him, "I am going out, with my teammates, and you Will release me NOW!"

The growing venom in her words startled the boy enough to relax his grip on her as she pulled away, a growl now audible from her throat as she began to stalk away from the boy. The boy himself, choose instead to grab hold of her coat once more, and this time, when he pulled back, he dislodged the loose tie that held it closed. What he saw, sent a flush of embarrassment through his face, as a flush of anger through the girl.

"You, you... BASTARD!" even as a bead of blood began to dribble past the boy's nose, the girl's scream erupted against his eardrums, before he felt a sudden, excruciating pain ripping through his body. A pain courtesy of Hinata's boot lodging itself firmly up between his legs.

As the boy whimpered softly in pain, he collapsed backwards as Hinata quickly pulled her coat back over herself, tying it tightly as she fought down a shudder, glaring at her cousin.

"I take it... there's is a reason for this daughter?" Hiashi spoke up, his face clearly caught between relief and worry as he looked down at the whimpering, prone form of his nephew.

"I told him I was going out," anger was still burning through those pale eyes as she spoke, "Neji took it upon himself to intervene, and decided it was his right to interject himself into my affairs. I refused his words, he grabbed me, twice, and when he attempted a third time, he ripped open my coat," she locked her eyes dangerously onto her father, "Forcing me to reprimand him in an appropriate manner."

The man winced softly as he looked again down at Neji, before slowly, nodding, "I will see that your cousin-"

"Neji," the girl said flatly, "Until he redeems himself, in my eyes I have no relationship to this boy."

Wincing even more, Hiashi slowly nodded, "I will see that Neji is informed of his... lapse in judgment and what that entails."

"Be sure to tell him, I will be informing Naruto-kun as well."

Hiashi paled at that, his eyes widening a fraction as he would look at his daughter, "Hinata..."

"No one puts their hands on me like that without my permission!" the girl growled back at her father, "Neji was THERE when Naruto-kun gave that warning."

Gulping now, the man nodded again before he reached down, and picked up his nephew, before turning back towards the compound, with an awkward goodbye, "Enjoy the rest of the day then, Hinata."

"I'm not going to let him ruin it," the girl affirmed, before actually putting a sway to her hips as she walked down the street.

Watching his daughter walk away for a moment, Hiashi then looked down at Neji in his arms and shook his head, "You young man, are in quite a bit of trouble..." there was almost a touch of pity in his words, "Especially after she tells Naruto."

-The Bar-

"So, is this just going to be an on going joke?" the bearded jounin Asuma Sarutobi arched a brow as he looked at the sitting Kurenai and Anko, as they sat next to each other, each dressed out exactly like Kakashi Hakate, right down to the masks and forehead protectors pulled over their left eyes.

"Hmm? Did you say something?" the pair asked as one before going back to the books in hand, and giggling perversely.

Kakashi himself, twitched lightly as he threw back a gulp of sake, before grumbling at the two, "Seriously, are you TRYING to get me killed?"

"Why Kakashi-kun," Kurenai spoke up with an innocent smile, "Whatever would give you THAT idea?"

"Naruto," the man responded with a flat tone as he glared at the pair.

"Awww, is the great Kakashi afraid of our little Naruto-kun?" Anko grinned visibly beneath her mask as she glanced up from her book.

"In a word?" the man paused a moment before twitching as he glared at the pair, "Yes."

"Oh, come on Kakashi," Asuma chuckled as he leaned back in his seat, "Naruto's a good kid."

"You're just saying that because you've never been his victim."

"So?" the Hokage's son merely grinned back at the man while the rest of the group stared at him in sheer disbelief.

"How the hell have you managed that?!" Genma Shiranui asked in absolute shock.

"Um," the man paused a moment, considering as he took a deep drag on his cigarette, "The kid likes me and dad?"

"But how the hell..." the man continued, "You had to get caught up in at least SOME of the mass pranks!"

"Nope," the man shrugged, "Was with the Fire guard or out on missions almost every time he's pulled one that I might've gotten caught in."

"Meh, you guys really think Naruto just randomly pulls his pranks without any kind of planning what so ever?" Kakashi looked at the rest of them with a lazy eye, "If he doesn't want to pull anything on you, he'll go out of his way to make sure you don't get caught."

"Tell me again, why the hell is this kid only just NOW a genin?" Genma said with a low, appreciative whistle.

"Hinata Hyuga," Anko said with a grin, "That scary little bitch herself."

"Hinata... Hyuga?" Asuma just blinked at Anko, "Scary? The shy little girl who stutters and blushes all the time?"

"The little girl that nonchalantly asked me if I knew that with the right Gentle fist strike, she could make sure that I couldn't feel anything between my legs, ever again," the woman shuddered softly, "With a smile on her lips, even I'M jealous of."

"Thirteen and already has a girlfriend?" Kakashi chuckled softly, "Little Naruto-kun works fast..."

"No," Kurenai corrected softly with an amused chuckle on her lips, "Thirteen, with he and his girlfriend apparently seducing their teammate to join in."

"Ah," the silver haired jounin nodded in understanding, "Now I know why Hiashi and Inoichi were in here last night."

"They do seem to take after their mothers," Genma admitted with a soft little chuckle, "Man... Hey Kakashi, do you remember...?"

Whatever question he might've asked was instantly cut off by nearly identical blasts of killer intent launched from Anko and Kurenai as both smiled sweetly at him through their masks. Genma immediately sank back down into his seat, a look of fear crossing his face. Kakashi himself, just chuckled as he smiled back at the pair, "Really now... I'm surprised you're here tonight Anko, I thought you were going to be tied up?"

Everyone's attention shifted first to Anko, then back to Kakashi, with Genma holding a thankful expression on his face as the silver haired man smiled back at them, especially the blushing, and grumbling Anko as she responded, "It would seem my boyfriend isn't quite sure how to handle that admission..." she paused, before grinning sheepishly, "I think I broke his brain."

"Eh, I'm sure he'll recover," Asuma chuckled as he took a sip from his sake, "So, your team's already getting close, hmm Kurenai? I have to say, I was a little disappointed I didn't get a full Ino-Shika-Cho team."

"You did get Haruno, I'm sure she'll yell at the boys just as well as the Yamanaka would," Kurenai smiled softly beneath her mask, "Besides, I'm fairly certain she fits in better with my squad. Its a good combination, especially if we train the girl as a ranged fighter."

"Keeping the Hyuga for close range and the Uzumaki for mid?" Kakashi spoke up, "His abilities do tend to work best in that situation... and he is pretty already a capture oriented ninja."

"Yes, he captures, Hinata incapacitates, then if need be, Ino interrogates," Anko grinned, "Not to mention... the absolute humiliation the boy can inflict."

"Mmm..." Kurenai paused a moment, before she looked speculatively over towards Anko, "You mentioned some tricks he likes to do earlier... But you never did elaborate on it."

"Errr..." the spiky haired woman began to sweat lightly as she looked away, hiding a sheepish blush that was overwhelming her features, "You see... Um..."

"Neh, Kurenai?" Asuma spoke up, grinning softly as he leaned back, "The kid calls his style BONDAGE Style..." the word emphasized with a pointed wiggle of his brows, "I'm sure you can think of the kind of things he might have up his sleeve."

The beautiful masked woman blushed heavily as she lightly kicked the man underneath the table, before giving a speculative look at Anko, "Robbing the craddle Anko-chan?"

"NO!" the response was absolutely vehement as she glared at her friend, "I just... Pissed the brat off the first time I met him, and he decided to teach me a lesson as it was."

The embarrassed blush on her face told far more than she intended though, as immediately all the faces locked onto hers, their eyes piercing hungrily, demanding she continue.

"Gah! Stop looking at me like that you perverts!" the woman grumbled, now wishing she wasn't trapped between the wall and her friends, "It wasn't like that!"

"Whatever you say Anko," Kakashi just smiled at her, not grinned, not leered, simply, smiled serenely back at her.

"GAAAAAAAH!" the woman almost screamed as she fell back in her booth, "Fine, I'll tell you, but you guys owe me a helluva lot of dango."

The group grinned back at her, giving her a slow nod of acceptance before she blushed even further, almost trying to vanish down into her seat as she quietly grumbled back at them, "Perverts all of you..." clearing her throat, she sighed, "He's got this one trick, that's kinda like a substitution," she paused a moment knowing their eyes were on her, "He tied up a rope harness, then, substitutes it right there underneath your clothes."

Eyes widened at her, Kurenai's bugging out as Asuma gave off a soft chuckle, and Kakashi smiled at the image building up in his head while he responded, "Oh? What kind of harness?"

"The kind that's tight, and knotted in very sensitive places!" the woman snapped back, grumbling again, "He pops that off on a kunoichi in the middle of a fight... and well..." she blushed, heavily and looked away, "It gets VERY distracting..."

"So, Ino..." Kurenai's eyes widened as she looked at her friend.

"Yeah," Anko twitched lightly, "And considering how close they are now, I'm guessing she really enjoyed it," she turned her head then glared around the group, "No one mentions this to Inoichi, got it?"

"No one mentions what to me?" Inoichi's voice spoke up as the man was arching a brow at the group before him, his blue eyes narrowing slightly.

"Oh, Yamanaka-san!" Kurenai spoke up, blinking slightly as she would look at the man, "How are you doing today?"

"I just came into a bar, alone, in the middle of the afternoon," the man countered dryly, "How do you think I'm doing?"

"Ino?" Anko asked curiously.

"Ino," the man agreed as he pulled a chair over and hung his head, "She just left home, wearing a raincoat."

"Oh?" Asuma blinked a moment then eyed the man curiously, "What's so odd about her leaving wearing a raincoat?"

Kurenai gave the bearded man an, 'are you an idiot?' look before watching as Inoichi flinched and continued, "Besides the fact that its a perfectly clear day?" the man twitched lightly, "Its what may, or may not be underneath that coat."

The man blinked a moment, before an embarrassed look of understanding flashed across his face, "Ah, I see..."

The rest of the group shifted uncomfortably as Inoichi took a look at them before sighing, his face falling down into his palm, "Let me guess, you were talking about something my daughter did that has something to do with her being a very big pervert?"

"Now Yamanaka-san," Kurenai shifted slightly, "What makes you think we'd..."

"You remember my wife," the man said simply as he lightly pinched the bridge of his nose, "Now, considering what I do remember about what Hiashi and I talked about last night... I get the feeling this is going to be an on going topic of discussion," the man paused a moment before grumbling, "Considering both our daughters seem to have inherited quite a... bit from their mothers."

Kakashi paused a moment, knowing, he really, truly, probably shouldn't say anything, but... "Well, there is also the fact that Naruto's an Uzumaki."

A number of people around the table froze at that, especially Asuma as his face whitened considerably, "You don't think... you don't think he's HER son do you?"

"Weeeeeeeell...." Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, "Considering everything..."

"He loves to play pranks," Inoichi spoke up softly, his face paling even further.

"He's a loud mouthed brat," Anko added, her face twisting between horror and amusement.

"He's rude and not afraid to get in anyone's face..." Asuma added quietly, a slight smile on his lips.

"He uses Bondage Style," Kakashi added with a happy little smile, "Sounds like the kind of thing SHE would've jumped at, doesn't it?"

"I really, REALLY need a drink," Inoichi was almost crying as he cupped his face in his hands, "My baby girl! My princess!"

"Hey, Kurenai-chan," Kakashi smiled, "Want to switch teams?"

"Now Kakashi," the woman responded simply with a neutral expression on her face, "You should know I prefer playing with the same team."

The rest of the group stared at her, almost spitting out their drinks as Genma's nose began to bleed at the thought, "So, THAT'S why you're on a team with Anko."

"Now now Gen-chan," Anko tsked as she leaned over, wrapping an arm about Kurenai's waist, "Don't tell me, you haven't noticed... how CLOSE, Nai-chan and I are?"

"Oh yes," the red eyed woman nodded turning her face back to Anko as she smiled through her mask, leaning in, "I just couldn't imagine... My life without my precious... Precious Anko-chan..."

The sound of two thuds was heard seconds later as a smiling Genma was revealed laying out on the floor with a stream of blood flowing past his nose. Beyond him however, just behind Inoichi, the twitching, paled form of Iruka was seen, his body twitching lightly as the blonde jounin looked down at the chuunin, "Huh... I think Kurenai broke your boyfriend Anko."

"Dammit, he just gets fixed and you go and break him Nai-chan?" Anko grumbled softly, "Ok, come on, lets get him up in here, I want something warm to sit on!"

A few minutes later, Iruka stirred back to consciousness, feeling something warm and soft pressed back against his body, a slight wiggling just against his lap. Blinking rapidly, he quickly made note of his surroundings. On his lap, was his girlfriend, dressed like Kakashi, on his left, was the wall, on his right, was Kurenai, also dressed like Kakashi. Next to her, was Kakashi, dressed like... himself.

As the man blinked, the silver haired Kakashi leaned forward and waved at him, "Yo."

It was then, that he noticed something else. All three almost had their noses buried in small books, while the rest of the group watched them with a smiling chuckle. Well, except for Inoichi, the blonde man gotten his hands on some sake and was quietly sipping at it. Though, that didn't stop the small twinkle of amusement in his eye.

"Ok..." Iruka began, his voice struggling slowly as he looked around him, "What the hell?"

"Awww, is Iruka-kun confused?" Kurenai smiled next to him, as she leaned in, casually whispering against his ear, "And here, Anko-chan thought... you could handle a bit of fun?"

The man gulped, audibly, not quite seeing the slight grumbling look Asuma held as he purposely looked away, "Um... Anko-chan...?" the man paused a moment, before growling slightly, "What the HELL?"

The woman on his lap stiffened immediately, before slowly turning around, looking down at him with one molten brown eye, staring deep into his gaze, "Did you... just... Growl at me?"

The man paused a moment, considering as he looked back up at his girlfriend on his lap, before twitching slightly, "As a matter of fact, I did," he paused a moment, before glaring at her.

And she shivered. She didn't yell, scream, or threaten him. She simply shivered as her body pressed back against his as she smiled, wickedly beneath her mask, "About damned time."

Kurenai giggled as she watched the pair, laughing softly as she leaned back against the both, "Oh, looks like you've got her attention now!"

However, the last thing she expected was for the scarred chuunin to turn his attention, and lock that gaze onto her, while his hand came up, and firmly took hold of Anko's waist, "Now... Kakashi-san, would you please step out of the booth for a moment?"

"Errr... Right," the silver haired man responded, carefully slipping away as he stared at the man cautiously.

A flicker of worry crossed Kurenai's eyes, as she saw the building grin on Anko's lips. A grin, that most likely spelled doom for at least one person. Before she could fully react, the chuunin next to her had his hand about her waist, and was almost dragging her out of the booth.

With an indignant squawk, the red eyed woman struggled for a moment as she found herself hoisted up by the man's grip on her waist, her body held underneath his arm, as Anko found herself slung over the man's shoulder. Turning, calmly to the group, Iruka bowed slightly, "Gentlemen, I'll see you another time."

"Hey! What're you...!" whatever else Kurenai might've said, was lost as Iruka almost vanished taking off out of the bar, both women in tow.

Inoichi paused a moment, taking another slow sip of his sake as the rest of the group stared at the spot they last saw the trio, "That was the Naruto boy's teacher, wasn't it. The one that's like a big brother or father to him?"

"Yup," Kakashi nodded as he slipped back into his seat.

"My daughter's doomed to be a bigger pervert than her mother, isn't she?" the blonde man almost whimpered as he poured himself some more sake.

"More than likely," the one eyed jounin nodded in response as he lifted up his book again, "But, look on the bright side."

"Bright side?"

"She'll have a lot of fun."

As Inoichi paled even further, he decided to forgo the dish in his hand, taking a deep gulp directly from the bottle itself, "Oh god."

"Yosh!" a new figure suddenly appeared, almost jumping down next to Inoichi, clad in pure green spandex, giant thick eyebrows waggling about as he released a sparkling smile, "Konoha's beautiful green beast has arrived!" the man paused a moment, before blinking as he looked around, "What did I miss?"

-Naruto's Apartment-

The boy himself was grinning happily as he thought back to his earlier, 'discussion' with Iruka, his eyes playing with mirth and amusement as he did hope the man was able to live up to Anko's expectations, for all their sakes. A twitching little grin, he remembered the... care package he'd left with the man. Hopefully tomorrow Anko wouldn't be in any condition to be her usual, frustratedly sadistic self.

Not that he was gonna hold his breath for that. It might just mean she was gonna be sadistically satisfied. The thought brought any number of various images to his head, the boy simply did NOT want to deal with. She already acted enough like a snake as it was.

Stretching languidly out, as lay against his couch, at least, until he heard the knock at the door. Smiling, he rose up, casually walked over to open up the door. Only that smile, died along with the greeting on his lips as he saw the tinge of red in Hinata's eyes as she looked somewhere between screaming in rage, and breaking down crying.

"Hinata-chan, what's wrong?" the boy frowned, lightly pulling her into his arms and his apartment as he quickly shut the door behind them.

"N-N-Neji," she said it softly, curling back against the boy as she buried her head against his shoulder.

"What did he do?" there was a growl on his lips as he looked down a the girl in his arms, holding her tight against his chest as he heard her soft sigh of relief at his embrace.

"He... I was leaving the compound," the girl began, gently leaning in, drawing strength from his warmth as she almost melted into him, "He didn't think it was appropriate for me to be going out, and he grabbed me. I shook him off and told him to let me go, he grabbed me again, then again after I told him it was none of his business and to get away from me."

Naruto was twitching, violently as he reached up, stroking his fingers through the girl's hair, gently, soothingly, "I... see..."

"I screamed at him, and I guess that alerted my father," the girl smiled slightly a moment later, "Then I kicked that uptight bastard right between the legs."

"Huh," the boy paused a moment before leaning down, nuzzling against her neck, "So, he's going to need a testicular retrieval, along with an cranialrectal extraction?"

The girl giggled softly as she nodded, leaning into his warmth again, "Yeah, he just... ugh."

"Don't worry Hinata-chan," the boy smiled softly at her, "I'll make sure he learns the meaning of respect."

"But, not until after we've had our fun, right Naruto-kun?" the girl said firmly as she nuzzled his chest.

"Right," the boy smiled down at her, "So what did you and Ino-chan come up with?"

"R-really Naruto-kun," the girl suddenly blushed brightly, "I think we should wait for Ino-chan to get here," her voice firmed softly, "you shouldn't ruin your surprise."

"A little taste, won't hurt, will it?" the boy asked, leaning in a bit more, teasing his lips just above her soft pale skin.

"Bad Naruto-kun," the girl giggled softly as she nuzzled back against him before lightly pushing off, "Just wait a bit for Ino-chan to get here."

"Bah," the boy grumbled lightly before kissing her atop her head, "Fine, we'll wait, and I'll sit here, watching you in that plain old rain coat, wondering what it is you've got on underneath it."

With that, the boy flopped down, grumbling lightly as he playfully glared at his teammate from the couch, his arms crossed about his chest. The girl in question, giggled softly at his antics, as she would lightly sway her hips directly in front of him, "So, are you ready... to play?"

Naruto chuckled softly, "As long as we can find them all."

"Oh, don't worry," Hinata grinned mischievously as she would lightly hold her hands behind her back, "Ino-chan and I already took care of that."

"Did you now?" the boy chuckled softly as he watched those pale eyes of the girl glinting playfully, "And what did Hinata-chan and Ino-chan come up with?"

"They went and got everyone to come celebrate passing our genin tests," the grin grinned happily, "We'll meet up with them at the BBQ place."

"Is everyone going to be there?" the boy asked with an arched brow.

"Well, as always, Sasuke's a coin flip," the girl shrugged nonchalantly before she settled down onto the couch next to the blonde boy.

"Hmm, hopefully he shows up, I need to talk to him about... something," the glint was in his eyes, the 'I'm about to do something that will make someone squeal in abject terror and humiliation' glint.

"Oh?" there was an arch of the brow as Hinata smiled at him, "About something hmmm?"

"Yup, something," the boy affirmed, smiling back at her, "Gotta save the surprise afterall."

"Naughty Naruto-kun," the girl pouted softly but nodded her head, leaning in against his chest with a soft sigh, before they could hear a knock at the door.

When the boy rose up to answer, Hinata shook her head, grinning at him softly as she stood up herself, "I'll get it Naruto-kun."

Putting an extra little sway to her hips as she moved, she walked to the door, and with a simple motion, drew it open, revealing the grinning face of Ino as she quickly slipped inside, "Hey Hinata-chan, Naruto-kun!"

"Hello, Ino-chan," Naruto greeted her with a smile, as he watched the girl dart forward, and plop herself down on his lap.

"Aaaah, much better!" the blonde girl giggled happily as she snuggled up against Naruto's chest.

"INO-CHAN!" Hinata half squeaked angrily as she stomped over, "That's my spot!"

"It was empty, and remember, teammates share, right Hinata-chan?" the girl smiled back innocently at Hinata.

The Hyuga girl glared back at the blue eyed girl as she would put her hands on her hips, almost beginning to lecture the girl before Naruto sent a rope snaking out about her waist, and pulled her down with Ino into his lap, "Yes, they do, so, you two will share, got it?"

Both girls blushed, before giggling softly, snuggling in closer against him and each other as they let out small little giggles, "Naruto-kun!"

The boy chuckled a bit, his eyes soft as he reached up, stroking gently against both their backs as they gave off a contented sigh. Her eyes closed, Ino spoke first, "I think my dad's gonna get drunk again tonight."

"Oh? What makes you think that Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up quietly, not opening her eyes as she wrapped her arm around her female teammate.

"Oh, he saw me heading out in this raincoat, and I teased him a bit," the blonde girl giggled softly, "He's probably thinking about just what I may or may not have underneath it."

"Well, I don't know about him," Naruto spoke up, chuckling softly, "But, I know I am."

"Oh, is Naruto-kun curious?" Ino grinned softly, giggling just a bit at him, "Did you show him a little peak, hmmm Hinata-chan?"

"No, she didn't," Naruto answered, growling lightly, "She made me wait until you were here."

The girl in question blushed softly before giggling just a bit, smiling as she lightly shrugged her shoulders, "Well, she IS here now, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is," the boy nodded in agreement before he smirked, "All right you two, up, lets see how badly we're going to pull it over on them.

Giggling, both girls stood up, standing one next to the other, as they took their time, slowly undoing their coats, pulling them open for the boy to see.

"Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun," blushing slightly as he took a look at the girls, Naruto, gave them both a broad, wicked grin.

-Later-

"Man, Hinata and Ino were the ones that asked us here, where are they?" Kiba grumbled softly as he leaned back in the booth, his shaggy hair wild against his coat as he shifted just a bit, "Even the high and mighty Uchiha is here."

"Tsk, Ino's just being troublesome probably," a brunette boy spoke up with a grumble, his head laying on the table as his spikey hair was pulled behind his head, "Wanting to be fashionably later or something."

"Man, I hope they don't take too much longer," a plump boy added, his swirl decorated cheeks lightly puffed out, "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry Chouji, " a pink haired Sakura Haruna spoke up, "At least with Sasuke-kun here, we know that Ino-pig is gonna show up."

"Given how she behaved at the academy, that seems... likely," a taller, stoic boy in a thick, high collared white jacket spoke up.

"Doesn't mean we can't hope otherwise Shino," a dark haired boy with spikey black hair countered as he grumbled just a bit, "Along with annoying, other kunoichi."

"Sasuke-kun..." Sakura flinched slightly at his words, the cold tones stinging into her as she flinched against his uncaring stare.

"Hey, sorry for taking so long guys!" a cheerful voice spoke up from the front of the restaurant, "We had to pick up Naruto-kun!"

"About damn...." Kiba spoke up as he looked towards the newcomers, his voice trailing off as his eyes widened considerably, finally managing to squeak out, "...time?"

Shikamaru only blinked, his eyes widening for a moment before shaking his head, "Troublesome as always Ino."

"Woooow..." Chouji stared in absolute amazement as he looked at the newly arrived trio.

"Ino-pig? Hinata?!" Sakura's eyes were huge as she could only stare at the three.

"Very... intriguing," Shino managed to admit.

"Heh," Sasuke let off an amused chuckle, "Having fun Naruto?"

"Always!" the blonde responded with a chipper smile as he slid into the booth, before giving a light tug on the leashes in his hand.

Leashes that lead up to a pair of thick black leather collars, each with heart shaped locks that bore the names of the respective kunoichi that bore them. Below that, they each wore a matching black cropped halter top, cut deep to expose much of their chests, trimmed in purple and filled with black fish net up to their collars. Past their bare stomachs, each wore a simple, tight little black skirts, barely covering their bodies with any measure of decency as the sides were laced a good four inches apart.

Each wore simple, lacy gloves up to their forearms, with matching cuffs over each wrist, and slim little open heels on their feet as they moved into the booth with Naruto. Hinata quickly took her seat, demurely crossing her legs as she settled against Naruto's lap. Ino, merely grinned, that wicked, saucy grin of hers as she sidled in against Naruto's side, lightly, visibly stroking her fingers against Hinata's side.

"Something wrong... boys?" Ino almost purred out in a low, throaty voice as she casually leaned up, lightly kissing against Hinata's neck.

Kiba looked like a fish out of water, his eyes bulging out of his sockets as he struggled to push anything past his rapidly opening and shutting mouth, his gaze glued on the figures in front of him. He simply couldn't get the words to do more than make strange, hissing, gurgling squeaking little sounds.

"WHAT THE HELL INO-PIG!?" Sakura's eyes were wider than even Kiba's as she pointed her finger in the girl's direction, "What're you DOING!?"

"Mmm? I thought it was obvious?" the blonde girl paused, arching a brow as she lightly, stretched out, resting her head against Naruto's shoulder as she casually stroked Hinata's bare stomach, earning a rising blush from the pale eyed figure.

"Mmm... I think its rather obvious too," Naruto agreed with a casual grin and a nod, "Don't you agree Hinata-chan?"

"Oh, yessss Naruto-kun!" Hinata spoke up, a low moan of enjoyment escaping her lips as she would reach out, brushing her fingers casually against the single lock of hair Ino let fall across her face, "Seems perfectly obvious to me Ino-chan."

"Tsk, being troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, through, he couldn't quick bring himself to look way from the scene before him, "I think you broke Chouji."

Chouji merely stared, a hollow, vacant eyed look at the three, his mouth hanging open, his mind, simply shut down. Next to him, Shino arched a brow, waving his hand up and down in front of the boy's face before nodding softly, "I would have to agree with Shikamaru's assement."

"Bah, what're you all so worked up over?" Sasuke shrugged with a bored look on his face, "Naruto's just showing off."

"Told you, Ino-chan" Naruto chuckled as he looked down at Ino.

"Bah," the girl grumbled softly before glaring over at the confused looking Uchiha, "Just had to be gay, didn't you."

"Sasuke is not gay!" Sakura immediately protested.

"Mmm Sakura-san," Hinata spoke up, moaning softly as they could see how Naruto was kissing against her bare shoulder one one side, while Ino nibbled up her ear on the other, "If he's not, why did he ask that question?"

Sasuke blushed lightly at the girl's words, looking pointedly away while a suddenly horrified looking Kiba inched lightly away from the black haired boy. Seeing the reaction, Sakura blinked, then blinked again her eyes widening with a soft whimper, "Nooooo...."

"Meh, what're you pulling away for dog breath?" Sasuke grumbled, "You're too butch to be my type."

"HEY!" Kiba growled back, before blinking just a bit, "Are you calling me ugly?!"

"I wasn't but now that you mention it..." the Uchiha smirked slightly as he leaned back smugly in his seat.

"Y-yeah, S-sasuke's been more interested in Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up, giggling softly at the uncomfortable twitch from the boy who's lap she sat on.

The dark haired boy glared at Hinata with a slight grumble and moment, where he almost seemed to be pouting back at her, "Hush puppy girl."

"Nyeh spanky!" Hinata stuck her tongue back at the Uchiha, before giggling softly and snuggling into Naruto, "I got MY man."

"OUR man Hinata-chan," Ino spoke up, lightly poking the girl's exposed stomach, eliciting a giggle.

Again, Sasuke twitched, grumbling softly, "Yeah yeah, don't have to rub it in."

"Sasuke...?! NARUTO?!..." Sakura blinked, then blinked again, staring from one to another as the images built up in her mind, just before she blushed a shade of red to make Hinata jealous and flew back in her seat, a stream of blood flying out of her nose.

"Oi, just remember ya bastard," Naruto grumbled, "No more 'accidentally' bumbling into me!"

"Oh, but Naruto-kun!" the Uchiha's eyes flashed brilliantly as he positively leered at you, "How could you possibly imply that I, a noble Uchiha, would stoop to such cheap theatrics for such base reasons as to grope your person?!"

"Your hands were on my ass and crotch," the blonde shot back flatly.

"Oh? Were they?" Sasuke said with an over exaggerated gasp, "I never knew!"

"You were squeezing."

"Completely involuntary reflex I'm sure."

"You were groping."

"I have no such recollection of these events!"

"Except when you're having a lonely night?"

"Of course," Sasuke shot back, before suddenly blushing, "I mean, I have no idea what you could be implying!"

"SASUKE!!!" Ino practically screamed, "How DARE you grope Naruto-kun before me?!"

"Oh please," the Uchiha responded dismissively as he waved his hand in Hinata's direction, "Puppy there knows the goods better than me, she's been sneaking peaks at him for over a year now."

"Hinata-chan?!" Ino gasped, as she looked at her teammate in askance, "How could you!?"

"W-w-well Ino-chan..." Hinata stumbled out with a brilliant blush on her face, "I, errr..."

"Not once, even offering me to show me the memories?!" Ino pouted, "Or, letting me use your eyes myself?!"

The group could feel a cold drop of sweat, all running down their faces as the blonde huffed loudly, while Shikamaru grumbled, "Troublesome women."

"Oh, but they're soooo much fun anyway!" Naruto grinned softly, "Even if they're a pair of perverted headache and a halves."

"Aw, Naruto-kun says the nicest things," Ino giggled lecherously, "For that, he's definitely going to have to get dessert, with EXTRA whipped cream," she paused, leaning in, giving a stage whisper against his neck, "Some chocolate syrup... some cherries... don't you agree Hinata-chan?"

The now violently blushing Hinata, rapidly bobbed her head up and down in agreement as she began to bleed slowly out of her nose, a broad, giggling grin plastered on her face, "Ohh... yes Ino-chan, definitely, you're going to leave enough for me too aren't you?"

As Kiba whimpered softly, the images the girls brought up slow cooking his mind, even Shino and Shikamaru managed to flush slightly as Ino responded, "Definitely Hinata-chan, I'm sure, he'd be more than happy... to share."

"Mmm, that makes me hungry!" Chouji spoke up happily, "How about we actually get something to EAT now?"

As three sets of eyes stared at the boy incredulously, Naruto laughed brightly, "Sure Chouji, sure," he paused before suddenly grinning his wicked grin at Sasuke, "And Uchiha... I need to talk to you later about something I need your help with..."

"Oh?" Sasuke arched a brow back at the blonde.

"Trust me, you'll like it."

-That Night-

Neji struggled futilely against his bonds, his body stripped down to nothing but a little pink thong, matching the shiny ball gag strapped in his mouth. He was cuffed, bent over something, he wasn't sure what, the chill touch of the air creeping against his skin as the room was covered in darkness. There was no mistake about it, he was in deep, deep trouble.

Suddenly, a light could be seen, somewhere behind him as heavy, clicking steps could be heard, moving step by step towards him. After a moment, he waited, as the boots seemed to be circling behind him, moving this way and that, before pausing as a the air suddenly whistled in protest, as something thin and strong cracked against his ass, before a somewhat familiar voice spoke up, "So, I understand that you've been having some issues with respect..."

A moment later a positively wickedly grinning Sasuke Uchiha stepped into view, dressed in a pair of tight black leather pants, a matching, sleeveless fishnet talk. In his hand, he held a simple, black riding crop, he lightly ran underneath Neji's jaw as he lifted the worried, frightened eyes up to his own, "Don't worry though Neji-kun... "

He grinned, down right mercilessly, "I'm going to make sure... I teach you how to be respectful tonight."

Leaning in, he slowly, casually whispered upon the boy's ear, "Very... Very respectful."

Smiling brightly, he suddenly slapped the crop across his hands, "Well then, lets get started shall we?"

End Note: Heh... *snickers a bit* sorry to those of you that might want it, but this will not have a Sasuke/Neji pairing... You'll see what I do have planned for him soon enough though.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Author's Note: Meeerph

Fic begins now

-The Hyuga Compound-

"LET GO OF ME!" the girl screamed as she struggled against the bonds binding her arms and legs tightly together as she dangled off the boy's shoulders, "I am Hanabi Hyuuga! Do you know what my father will do to you for this outrage?!"

Naruto calmly ignored the girl, taking his time as he walked through the Hyuuga compound at a leisurely, sedate pace as the girl continued to scream her head off.

"Do you HEAR ME?!" Hanabi screamed again, struggling, trying to buck herself off his shoulder and out of the ropes, "Let me go you weak, uncouth simpleton!"

"Really Hanabi-chan," the boy spoke up cheerfully, "If I'm weak,what does that make you since I beat you?"

The girl paused, before glaring angrily at the boy, "STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!"

"Naruto," a voice calmly called out from a door they were pausing, causing the boy to pause for a moment and stick his head in.

"Yes? Hiashi?" the boy asked in return as Hanabi's eyes came alive with promise of soon to be rendered vengeance on the boy.

"Where are you going with my daughter?" the head of the Hyuuga clan was calmly and quietly sipping at his tea, not even looking up towards the boy as asking how his day was going.

"Oh, I'm just kidnapping her." the boy responded off handedly.

"Ah I see," the man nodded ever so simply as he took another sip, "Ransom demands?"

"Hmmm, dinner at Ichiraku Ramen?" the boy offered ever so casually.

"Hn," the man pause a moment as if in consideration, "Too steep, I'll just have to wait until you get tired of her."

"FATHER?!" the girl shrieked in outrage at the simple dismissal.

"Heh, I'll have her back in a couple of days or so," He paused a moment in consideration, "I make no promises her sunny disposition will remain intact though.

"Of course," The man nodded as he took another sip of his tea, "Have a good time with Naruto honey, I'll see you when you get back."

The girl in question was simply shocked into silence as her father took her abduction as if it were as common as his tea! What the hell was going on?! Her father had killed the last man who tried to kidnap one of his daughters!

"Oh, by the way, Hiashi?" Naruto spoke up cheerfully.

"Hn?"

"I got a picture of Mr. Snuggle Pants."

The man instantly froze before he turned his head to slowly simply, LOOK at Naruto.

"Whaaaa?" the boy grinned happily, "This wouldn't feel like a proper abduction if I'm not getting chased by someone, I have SOME sense of tradition afterall."

"I see," the man responsed in resignation, "And your conditions?"

"Gimme a chase and the secret of Mr. Snuggle Pants stays where it is."

"And if I happen to refuse?"

"You won't!" the boy smiled in response.

"And if I should anyway?" the man pushed

"I start to tell loudmouth here the story, while I'm walking past the branch house."

"... You are your teacher's student," the man responded in resignation.

"Of course!"

In an instant the man shifted, his face becoming a mask of rage as he bellowed out, "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT! UNHAND MY DAUGHTER!"

Naruto simply laughed as he ran.

Hanabi let off a string of most unladylike curses at the boy as she struggled against her bonds.

Neji took one look at the scene in front of him, shrugged, and went back to his training, he did NOT want to be involved, his ass was STILL hurting from the Uchiha's lesson.

-Some time later at Ichiraku Ramen-

"See, isn't it nice to get out of that stuffy compound and get some exercise now and then?" Naruto offered cheerfully as he sat next to Hiashi on a stool, grinning broadly as a bound, and now gagged Hanabi glared venomously at the two.

"I suppose," the man offered neutrally, trying to keep the smile from blossoming across his lips as he carefully ate at his bowl of ramen.

"Bah, you need to get out more," Naruto waved his hands, "Find a woman, have plenty of kinky sex that sensei can watch and drool over in heaven."

The man almost spat out the noodle in his bowl, coughing loudly before he turned his eyes onto the 13 year old boy, his daughter's team mate, his dead wife's STUDENT telling him to in a nut shell go out and get laid. Said boy, merely grinned back at the man as he took another slurp of his noodles, "What? You really want to wait and have her chewing you out for not giving her something to watch with some action?"

"Naruto..." Hiashi coughed pointedly, "I do not think its appropriate to discuss such things... in front of my daughter."

"Eh," the boy shrugged back as he kept eating his noodles, "Hinata-chan's been worried about you. Seriously, besides when you went to the bar with Ino-chan's dad, when was the last time you even went out?"

"I have responsibilities..." the man began, before a frighteningly familiar look crossed Naruto's face.

"Hiashi, I will give you a dressing down in front of your daughter," the boy said slowly and carefully, "I know how to, and I will. I was there when she able to keep you from driving yourself into madness like you tried after you died," his face softened then before he continued, "I'm a ninja now, I can't be around to keep dragging you out of the darkness, you need to start doing it on your own. Especially for your daughters."

"What would my family do without you boy?" Hiashi managed a soft chuckle as he looked down at the kid.

"Eh, I imagine you'd have a stuck shoved up your ass like Neji and Hanabi, and Hinata would be almost completely destroyed confidence wise," the boy responded quietly, before continuing, "I know what it means to be a ninja Hiashi. I know what could happen to me on any mission, something going wrong, and I don't come back."

He looked away for a long moment, before looking up into the softened features of the Hyuga clan head, "I don't want those precious to me to lose themselves because I can't be there to save them."

"Naruto..." there was a sadness there in the man's eyes as realization slowly dawned in their depths, he owed this boy, more than he could ever imagine repaying, "Thank you."

Next to them, Hanabi watched with wide, uncertain eyes as her father's hand came down on the boy's shoulder. She'd seen him around the compound before, laughing and playing with her sister more than anything, but she didn't really know who he was. Listening to him talk to, berate her father, and have the man simply... accept it. She wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Hey, I promised her, remember?" the boy smiled that sad smile of his as he looked up at the man, "She helped me find myself, my way, my life. I owe her more than I can ever pay."

"I know she's proud of you Naruto," the man spoke very softly, "Just as I know your parents are."

"Ya wanna know something funny?" the boy said softly, "I never missed them until I met her. Before that... they were just... things I couldn't quite comprehend. Phantoms..." he paused a moment, shaking his head softly, "But when she talked about them... the look in her eye, they way she spoke... she made them real for me."

Hiashi wordlessly looked down at the boy, not saying much, for a long moment, before looking, staring at the wall and beyond it as his eyes glazed over, the past awakening before him, "She and your mother were close friends... you've got a lot of her spirit in you. Passionate, unrestrained, undeniable. It didn't matter to her if you were a genin or the Hokage himself, she was like a storm with a smile on her lips."

"..." Naruto froze where he was looking at the noodles, not saying anything as he heard the man's words, the emotions in his voice, before slowly looking up, watching his eyes, almost afraid to breath.

"She was a bit of a terror when she was younger," the man chuckled softly, leaving himself lost in the past for a moment, "Quite the tomboy really... Never afraid to get her hands dirty," he paused again, before slowly pulling himself back to the present, "When she got older, she was known as one of the most beautiful kunoichi in the Elemental Countries... and one of the most powerful."

"... Thank you Hiashi," the boy said softly, his voice, barely a whisper as it left his lips, his eyes, stung with tears as he could feel the swell of emotions rippling through him.

The man would look down at the boy before his hand gently squeezed onto his shoulder, "I wish I could tell you more about them Naruto, I wish I could tell you everything..."

"But you can't," the boy responded softly, "I know... That's what everyone tells me."

"You have enough on your shoulders Naruto," the man said softly, "And enough burdens to bear as it is. Even you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"All right," the boy said softly as he reached down, picking up Hanabi and tossing the girl over his shoulder, listening to the quiet sound of protest the girl made, "I'll have her back sometime soon... I'll see what I can do about the stick up her ass."

There was another muffled protest as the girl squirmed again, anger flushing across her face as she tried to kick at the boy futilely. With a nod, Hiashi continued to eat his ramen, "I know you will Naruto, see you soon."

"Later Hiashi," and with that the boy was gone, carrying off the squirming bundle of Hyuga spitfire.

"You can't shoulder the weight of the world Naruto," the man paused softly as he took another bite of his noodles, "But, I know you'd try in a heart beat... Take care of the burdens you've already taken... you've cost yourself enough as it is."

"Heh," Teuchi Ichiraku shook his head as he listened to the man speak, "That kid, he's something isn't he?"

"He's his parents child," Hiashi responded quietly, "Even without knowing them, he can be no less."

"They must've been something to produce a kid like that," the chef smiled back at the man.

"They were," Hiashi responded, laying down payment for the meals, "Something Amazing."

With a quiet nod, the head of the Hyuga clan rose, then turned, walking quietly down the street as he made his way towards a certain flower shop. The boy had been right, and perhaps he could find the strength to remember old bonds.

-Dun Dun DUUUN-

Naruto paused a moment as he looked around the forested area, nodding casually before dropping the girl down on the ground, and peering at her, "Well then Hanabi-chan, looks like we're here!"

Grinning he reached down and carefully undid the gag stuffed in her mouth with a happy little smile on his lips.

"I'm going to KILL YOU!" the little girl screamed as she glared angrily up at the boy, "Kill, Kill KILL!"

"Yeesh, the stick up your ass is almost as big as the one up Neji's," the boy chuckled softly as he stretched out, "Ah well, I do enjoy a challenge."

The girl glared up at the boy, haughtily lifting her chin, "I don't know how you managed to convince my father of this, but..."

"Neh, yeesh," the boy shook his head and chuckled, "You were a lot quieter as a baby."

"Eh?" the girl blinked at that sudden comment.

"I said, you were a lot quieter as a baby," he smirked softly, "Though, a lot stinkier... I remember when I had to change your diapers."

"GAAAAH!" the girl flushed crimson as she continued to glare balefully at the boy, "Liar!"

"Nope, you used to make the STINKIEST messes," Naruto was smirking, broadly as his eyes twinkled brilliantly, "I mean, eesh, I don't know what they used to feed you, but man..."

"SHUT UP!" The girl screamed her eyes bulging as her face burned crimson.

"Hmm... That's almost Hinata-chan red," the boy observed, "I guess you're definitely her sister Stinky-chan."

"KILL!!!!" Hanabi squealed, as she pushed her self forward, trying to lunge at the boy with her mouth.

"You know, that can't be be good for your teeth," Naruto deadpanned, " Sure you don't want an apple to take a bit out of instead?"

"Grrrrr..." the girl just growled back at the boy as she glared balefully at him.

"Hm, so this is your sister Hinata-chan?" a new voice spoke up curiously, female and energetic as a blonde girl almost bounced into the fallen Hyuga's vision, clad almost entirely in purple, "She acts more like your cousin."

"He used to babysit her," another voice offered as the bound girl watched her older sister gracefully walked forward, "And father was so busy he allowed the Elders to help raise her and well..." the girl shrugged a bit, "They lodged it quite firmly up there, Ino-chan."

"Yeah, but that's why we're here now," Naruto spoke up cheerfully, "We're going to help dislodge that stick from Stinky-chan's ass!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!" the girl screamed again as she squirmed on the ground.

"Stinky-chan?" Ino inquired curiously.

"Naruto-kun used to have to change her diapers," Hinata clarified, "It was rather... pungent as I recall."

"Ahhhh," the blonde nodded, "Stinky-chan!"

"ARRRGH!" the little girl practically screamed, lightly banging her head against the ground.

"Now, now, Stinky-chan," Naruto spoke up as he lightly shifted the girl up so she could no longer smash her head against the ground, "No need to hurt yourself."

"I hate you!" the little girl spat back at the boy, growling deep in the back of her throat.

"Hmm..." the boy paused, putting his chin between his thumb and index finger as he considered, "Nah, you don't," He paused again, before grinning as he made a sign with his hands, "Doesn't mean I'm not gonna punish you though!"

Instantly a group of three shadow clones popped into existence as they advanced on the suddenly frightened girl, "No! Stay away!"

As one, did they descend, a solitary purpose in their minds as their grins spoke the promises they would keep. And as one, did they begin. Suddenly tickling the girl like mad.

"Noooo!" the girl struggled against the giggles rippling through her, fighting back as best she could, squirming, writhing with fright as her eyes stared back at the figures that had already shucked her sandals to tickle her feet, "Stoooooooop!"

Hanabi finally couldn't hold back any longer, erupting into a storm of giggling laughter as she struggled to breath, her face reddening as tears streamed down her eyes while she flailed about against her bonds. Finally though, the tickling slowed, then stopped, leaving her to gasp hungrily for breath. Panting, softly, coming down from the storm of sensations, she grumbled softly, "That wasn't nice."

"What, you'd have preferred a spanking?" Naruto asked humorously.

"Well, she IS Hinata-chan's sister," Ino chirruped earning herself a blushing glare from the older pale eyed girl.

"Hush Ino-chan," Hinata murmured just a bit as she would never the less, shift lightly and lean against the girl.

"Now, now girls," Naruto chided lightly, "Play nice... We're here for Stinky-chan after all."

"Stop calling me that," Hanabi snapped quietly, "I am not stinky."

"Well, you're definitely not happy," Ino chuckled as her hand came up, wrapping about Hinata's shoulder as she lightly stroked the dark strands of hair.

"This, is an intervention," Naruto nodded sagely, "You've been dependent on the stick up your ass for too long, we can't allow you to follow down Neji's path!"

"And what's wrong with Neji-san huh?!" the girl shot back, blushing lightly at the words.

"Oh gods, its worse than we thought," Naruto said in horror as he turned and looked at Hinata and Ino, "She ADMIRES him!"

"Its good we decided to do this now instead of later then Naruto-kun," Ino added seriously.

"Yes, no telling how bad she could have gotten," Hinata nodded sagely, "She could've started babbling about fate and no one being able to change and so on."

"Yes, we much make sure to take proper preventative measures now!" Naruto declared proudly, "Though, I'm not sure if we should really show her those photos..."

"Aww, but they're so cuuuuuute!" Ino giggled as she continued to stroke Hinata's hair, "Don't you think Hinata-chan?"

"I... um..." the girl in question blushed brightly as she buried her head against Ino's chest, "I really don't wanna see those pictures, EVER again!"

"Aww, don't be like that Hinata-chan," Ino said soothingly.

"I went blind!" the girl shivered softly, "Well, not actually blind but still!"

"I think she was traumatized enough, Ino-chan," Naruto offered with a chuckle as he stretched out before grinning at Hanabi, "All right Stinky-chan, here's the deal, we're going to make you have fun and loosen up, until you get that stick out of your ass and act like a normal person."

"And what gives you the right to kidnap me and force me into this!?" the girl screeched again.

"Your mother," the boy responded simply as he lightly petted the girl atop her head, "Now, Hinata-chan, Ino-chan, ready to have some fun?"

"Yup, every thing's ready to go, Naruto-kun!" Ino giggled happily.

"Ah, good, good," Naruto nodded as he casually, started untying the bonds holding the fuming Hanabi in place, then, once the last was undone, he quickly grabbed the girl before she could escape and tossed her struggling, flailing body over his shoulder, "Come on girls, Stinky-chan needs her bath."

"LET ME GOOOOO!" the girl screamed angrily as the boy carried her like a sack of potatoes, "I won't forgive you for this!"

"Neh you will eventually," the boy grinned, leading her off, until they suddenly came upon a large pool filled entirely with wet, glistening mud, "Bath time!"

"What?!" her eyes widened in horror as she looked at the pool of mud, "NO! You wouldn't! That's not a bath!"

"Sure it is Stinky-chan," Naruto grinned back before tossing her in, "A mud bath!"

"NOOO~!" the cry was cut off, as the girl was dumped, face first into the mud, with a loud, splat.

"Oooh," Ino grinned as she looked at the girl, "That's gonna be a pain to get clean..."

Naruto whistled innocently as he watched Ino giggling at the edge of the pool before he casually pushed her in with the girl, "Oooops!"

"HEEEEY~!" Ino was suddenly flailing around the mud, next to Hanabi, grumbling softly as she glared up at Naruto through her mud caked face.

"Whaaaa?" the boy grinned, "I thought mud was good for the skin!"

Smiling softly Hinata carefully leaned in close, slowly, softly whispering against his ear as he could feel her soft hands moving over his body, "Naruto-kun..."

"Errr... Yes Hinata-chan?" he asked back with a slight blush.

"Its time..." she breathed, slowly against her ear, before suddenly pushing him hard, "For you to join them!"

"ACK!" the boy fell back into the mud with the other two girls, before bursting out laughing with a grin, "Oh, a wise girl eh?"

Grabbing a hand full of mud, Naruto suddenly slung, directly at Hinata, catching the smiling girl right on the face with a grin, "HA!"

"Eeek!" the girl giggled softly as she was splattered by the mud, pouting back at the boy, "Bad Naruto-kun!"

Before the boy could respond, he himself was splattered right in the face, not once, but twice, by the two girls in the pool with him. Pausing a moment, he turned and caught the satisfied little smirk on Hanabi's face, before grinning broadly, "Way to go Stinky-chan!"

"Grrr!" again the girl threw another splatter of mud at the boy, who in turned, dodged through the mud to throw some back at her, catching her on her face, causing to girl to let out an angry shriek, "Eee!"

"Aw, come on Stinky-chan, you can do better than that!" the boy laughed loudly as he dodged through the almost syrupy mud being thrown at him again and again, before suddenly a mess of it was dumped on his head.

"Ha! That'll teach you to forgot you're not facing only one opponent!" Ino crowed victoriously as she grinned back at the boy. At least, until she caught sight of his fiendish, muddy grin.

"Oh, I didn't forget about you, Ino-chan!" the boy grinned in response as he would would suddenly grab hold of the girl, and pull her with him, down into the mud, covering them both completely as she shrieked helplessly

"Naruto-kun!" the girl squealed softly, covered head to toe in mud as she flicked it off her fingers at his face, watching him laugh back at her just as completely covered.

Seeing a possibly chance to escape, Hanabi grinned as she began to quietly slosh towards the edge of the pool, before suddenly finding her escape cut off, by her gently smiling sister, "Going somewhere Hanabi-chan?"

"Ummm...." the girl paused a moment before she noticed how her sister's hands were held behind her back, "Maybe...?"

Hearing the hopeful reply the girl made, Hinata shook her head and grinned, "Tsk tsk... Now Hanabi-chan, you're saying that like you didn't enjoy throwing that mud at Naruto-kun."

The girl huffed at her sister, even as she struggled to keep the smile off her face, at least, until she felt a water balloon burst over her head, as her sister was smiling down at her, innocently as she summoned another from the scroll she'd kept behind her back. Wiggling her eye brows the elder sister smiled serenely down at her startled younger sibling, "You might want to run now."

And with that, the girl began to lob the water balloons at her sister, who shrieked at the cold water splashing over her and ran back towards the laughing Ino and Naruto. Well, the pair were laughing, until Hanabi ducked behind them to evade the fire and they suddenly found themselves caught in it. Leaving them to sputter in return.

"Hey!" Naruto protested, "Oh, gonna play it that way?" he grinned down at Hanabi, huddled against his back, "Come on Stinky-chan, lets get her!"

The younger girl didn't even have a chance to protest her nickname as Naruto scooped up mud, beginning to fling it across the pool back at Hinata, who shrieked playfully and tried to avoid the splattering mud. Not to be outdone by the boy, Hanabi herself moved out from behind her shield and grabbed her own mud, laughing softly as she threw it back at her sister. A moment later Ino joined in, and quickly Hinata found herself just as muddied as the rest of them, covered and splattered with mud as she threw her balloons eagerly back at the group.

It was sometime later that the little game finally ended, and the group, made their way to a nearby lake, cleaning themselves and their clothes off, before falling into another little playful fight, splashing each other with the water as they went for a swim. As they walked back to camp, Hanabi herself was caught in a soft peal of giggles at the three's antics, though an occasional scowl broke out at a 'Stinky-chan' crack. When they arrived, Naruto quickly began to put wood into the fire before grinning at Ino

"Well Ino-chan, if you'd be so kind?" the boy grinned softly, his eyes dancing with a grin.

"Bah, just because you're too lazy to learn a decent fire technique..." the girl rolled her eyes, grinning back at the boy before lighting the fire with a grin.

"Hey, wind element!" the boy pouted softly before stretching out, "Besides, you need the practice."

"Uh huh," the girl rolled her eyes as she leaned back, "So, what're we gonna do now?"

"I was thinking... S'mores," the boy grinned as he pulled out a bag of marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers, "After that..." he shrugged just a bit before chuckling, "Maybe some more fun."

"Why're you doing this?" Hanabi spoke up quietly before anyone else could respond.

"Doing what Stinky-chan?" the boy grinned back at her as he stretched, warming his hands against the fire.

"Grrr... All this!" the young girl pouted softly at the boy before gesturing around her, "The mud fights, the water balloons, all of it!"

"Oh that?" the boy shrugged softly before grinning, "You having fun?"

The girl glared at the boy silently for a long moment, before slowly, reluctantly nodding her head, "Yes."

"That's why," Naruto responded with a grin.

"Why do you care about my having fun?" there was a tone of frustration, "Why do you care at all?!"

"Still haven't figured it out Stinky-chan?" the boy smiled softly as he started to open up the bag of marshmallows, while giving Hinata a pointedly look with a grin.

"What, you're doing this for my sister?" asked, her tone a bit frostier now.

"Nope, though, her wanting you to loosen up too is a bonus," the boy grinned back at her as he stretched out, slowly, easily, "No, there's someone else that I'm doing this for."

"My father?"

"Again, just a bonus," the boy grinned mischievously as he watched the increasingly frustrated girl.

"Who then!" she sighed, audibly as she humphed lightly.

"Your mother," he said in a soft, simple voice as he would stick a marshmallow on the tip of a stick before lightly letting it heat over the fire.

"M...other...?" the girl paused, uncertainly as she looked at the boy.

"Your Mother," He said slowly, evenly turning the fluffy confection, "My teacher."

"Mother... taught you?" the girl turned her head, turning her eyes to her sister who nodded gently in confirmation, a smile on her lips.

"Yes, Mother was Naruto-kun's first teacher," Hinata smiled as he moved over, sitting next to the boy to snuggle up against his side, "He's been looking after us since you were a baby Hanabi-chan."

"Hence the embarrassing baby stories," the boy grinned softly, "Why, I remember one time..."

"Stop!" the little girl almost screamed, her face flushed crimson as she buried her face in her hands, "I do NOT need to hear all these things I did as a baby."

"Eh, anyway," the boy grinned softly as he would lightly pull the now toasted marshmallow away from the heat and fire as he lightly offered it up to Hanabi, who, after staring at it a moment, carefully pulled it off, and tossed the crisped, melting mallow into her mouth, "I promised your Mother I'd look after you two..."

"I don't remember you looking out for me that much!" the girl huffed quietly.

"Most of it was when you were a lot younger... No offense Stink-chan, but Hinata-chan and your father were hit a lot harder by her death than you," he paused a moment as he lightly stared at the fire, "You were still young enough that it didn't hit home as much... Then, there was the Cloud Incident."

Hinata shivered at that, hugging a bit tighter against Naruto in the process, while Ino moved next to her, gently cradling the girl between her teammates, "Naruto-kun... was busy, trying to keep from losing Father and I... He didn't think things would get so... out of control with you."

"Things are perfectly in control with me," the girl huffed lightly even as she nibbled more on the toasted mallow.

"Yes, a young girl trying to act like she's an adult, all prim and proper, not having any fun or being a child is certainly perfectly fine," the sarcasm dripped acidicly from the boy's words, "Do you have any idea what your mother would do to the Elders if she was still alive for the shit they pulled?"

The girl blinked slightly, "But... I'm just trying to be a proper Hyuga! Like Mother was!"

Two sets of eyes simply stared at her, for a long, drawn out moment, before Naruto twitched slowly and visibly, "A... proper Hyuga? Sensei? They told you that she was..."

"Naruto-kun..." Hinata said soothingly, stroking his back gently.

"I'm gonna kill em," he said it, visibly seething as he twitched, "In the slowest, most humiliating way possible."

"What...?" Hanabi blinked, uncertain as she looked at the angry boy.

"But, Naruto-kun..." Hinata spoke up, "You don't have the bloodline limit to summon the red neck treefolk to sodomized them to death in the middle of the village!"

The rest of them, stared at the girl, their eyes, bulging slightly at the image she conjured, causing the girl to blush brightly as she continued, "What? Its in the history books as the way the First executed traitors."

"You scare me sometimes, Hinata-chan," Ino said simply as she still snuggled up against the girl.

Blushing lightly the girl snuggled against both of her teammates in response, "Sorry Ino-chan..."

"Aaaaanyway," Naruto continued, "After that disturbing tidbit of information..." the boy paused before looking at Hanabi, "When I first met your mother, she was working at her sex shop, dressed in a corset and tight leather pants... Does that SOUND like the Elders were telling you she acted?"

"No!" the girl blushed brilliantly, a horrified look on her face, "She wouldn't!"

"She did Hanabi-chan," Hinata spoke up, blushing as well before she pulled out a photo album, handing it over to her sister, "Here... See for yourself."

"What...?" the girl curiously opened the album, but there on the first page... the images, "Nooooo!"

"Yup," Naruto responded pushing another mallow onto the stick and rolling it over the fire, "I think that might've been customer appreciation night.

Hanabi stared at the boy for a moment, before promptly falling back in a dead faint.

"Hmm, that went better than I thought," the boy said casually as he would crisp the mallow until it was lightly browned.

"What do you mean Naruto-kun?" Ino blinked as she would start to roast her own mallow.

"I thought she was gonna run off before fainting," He shrugged, grinning lightly, "This is much easier though."

"So what're we going to do now Naruto-kun?" Hinata spoke up in her curious little voice.

Naruto grinned in return as he would lean in, whispering lightly against her ear, "Make her look at the entire album of course. Then, we'll see where we need to go from there."

-Sometime later-

"HE LIED TO ME!" there was outrage in that voice as the young girl shrieked angrily as she came to her realization, "That bastard Neji LIED to me!"

"Well he is a bastard," Naruto nodded, "After he attacked Hinata, I had to... look into getting him some proper lessons in respect."

"HE WHAT?!"

"Turn down the volume Stinky-chan," the blonde boy winced lightly as he pushed his finger into his ear and wiggled it around, "I really don't wanna go deaf..." he paused, before suddenly grinning conspiratorially, "I've got pics if you're interested."

The girl's dainty little hands shot out expectantly her pale eyes burning as she wiggled her fingers, "Gimme!"

"There's hope for you yet Stinky-chan," The boy laughed, before he handed over the photographs of Neji's... disciplining with the Uchiha.

"I still say we need to mail those to Sakura," Ino giggled softly as she lightly licked at Hinata's ear, drawing a blush across the girl's face, "Mmm Hinata-chan tastes so nice..."

Fortunately, Hanabi's attention was glued on the photographs in her hand, blushing brightly as she flipped from one to the next, giggling all the while as her sister, shivered to suppress her moans, "B-bad Ino-chan! Not in front of my sister!"

"Awww," the girl pouted softly before reluctantly nodding and carefully going back to nuzzling the girl, "Doesn't Hinata-puppy like Ino-kitty?"

"Ino... kitty?" there was a hesitancy as Naruto asked, eying the girl warily.

"Mhm!" the girl grinned, stretching out casually before flopping down, her back across Hinata's lap as her head rested in Naruto's, "And the kitty demands attention!"

Naruto looked at Hinata quietly, "Yeah, we've definitely created a monster..."

"Yes, but I'm a cute one dammit!" Ino agree, letting off a soft laugh as she arched more across their laps, "So, Stinky-chan, having enough fun with those pictures?"

"... Well, it DOES explain why he was walking even stiffer than before..." Hanabi agreed, not even reacting to the girl's use of her nickname, "... Still, it doesn't seem like... enough."

"Oh, its not," Naruto agreed, "But, what else is needed... well, that's up to YOU."

"Eh?" the girl blinked owlishly at the boy, "Up to me? But..."

"Oh don't worry, we'll help... but for now..." the boy grinned widely, "I want you to meet your new sensei in learning how to relax and just be a girl," chuckling he reached down, and poked lightly on Ino's stomach, "Ino-chan here."

"Ooooh," Ino squeaked lightly at the poke, before grinning lazily at Hanabi, "We, my girl, are going to be having... Fun."

Back in the Hyuga compound, Neji Hyuga felt a cold chill run down his spine. Something bad was fated to happen to him, he knew it.

-Yamanaka Household-

A knock at the door drew a curious Inoich, opening it to reveal the unusually relaxed face of Hiashi Hyuga, "Ah, good evening Inoichi."

"Good evening Hiashi-san," the man responded hesitantly, "What can I do for you tonight? My daughter didn't... do anything did she?"

"No, not that I'm aware of," the man shrugged slightly as he would smile back at the man, "It was merely pointed out to me today, that I have been letting my... social life, become rather... less than social."

"Aheh..." the blonde man nodded nervously himself, "I'm not exactly sure I'd be much help, I haven't exactly been the most... social of persons since my wife passed."

"Why I'm here," the dark haired man nodded, "I was recently posed a question, that considering the... similarities between our wives... I thought I should pose to you as well."

"Errr, that being?"

"Do you really want to meet your wife again without having given her plenty of kinky sex to watch?" the Hyuga clan head responded, his face, completely straight and somber.

Inoichi paused a long, long moment, staring back at the man in front of him his mind raced through the possibilities, "I'll get my coat, we'll see what we can find at the bar, neh?"

"If nothing else..." Hiashi spoke up, looking around them warily, "There is... that one club with the off-duty kunoichi, that we could always visit afterwards."

"Erk," the man froze slightly, shifting nervously, "You mean... THAT club?"

"Well, we DO technically own it," the man coughed into his hand, "Might as well... enjoy it don't you agree?"

"Does... SHE still work there?" Inoichi responded nervously.

"Why yes, I do believe she's one of the Managers now," Hiashi responded, slowly grinning, "And as I recall, she DID leave that offer..."

"Well, um, err... " the blonde man flushed brightly, "We have probably put off taking her up on it long enough, don't you think?"

"Indeed," the man responded with a sage nod.

"Yeah, I'll get my coat."

"I thought you might."

-The spirit realm-

"FINALLY!" a blonde woman squealed as she rubbed hands together, "Remind me to thank your student profusely when he gets up here."

"I know, such a good boy isn't he?" a familiar dark haired woman responded, "Always looking after others."

"And so good with his hands too," the first woman grinned wickedly, "To be able to handle BOTH our daughters! Mmmm..."

"Yes, well at least we won't have to get all our porn from watching them, now will we?"

"What're you two going on about this time?" a red haired woman spoke up as she wandered up behind the two, "You getting upset at your husbands AGAIN?"

"Nope Kushkush," the first woman grinned brightly, "That magnificent bastard that's your son convinced our hubbies to go out and get laid!"

"He did?!" the red head squealed happily, before frowning, "Wait, does this mean we won't get to watch the kids anymore?"

"Oh, hell no!" the dark haired woman responded, "I can't WAIT until they finally get around to it!"

"Oh, yes, I know..." the red head had a dreamy look in her eyes, "Waaah, my Naruto is SO MANLY!"

A blonde man's head popped up, as he looked at the three dreamy looks plastered on the women's faces before sweating softly, "I'm not getting out of bed for a week again, am I?"

"Oh quit complaining Minato!" the blonde woman laughed, "Go on Kushkush, go reward him for helping make such a fine son, we'll be sure to set the DVR for you, so you don't miss any of the good parts!"

"I swear, if I wasn't dead already, that boy would be the death of me," Minato mock grumbled as he allowed his wife to drag him off.

"Oh, but what a way to gooo!" the woman leered back, tossing the blonde man over her shoulder and giggling madly as she raced down the hall, "See you in a week ladies!"

End Note: *Coughs* err, um... . I plead the fifth.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Author's note: Errr.. Eh... Hrm... How to put this delicately... Umm... You'll have to stick around and find out. This is mainly a bunch of little filler scenes while I build up to the events of the Chuunin exams, probably why it took so long to write. Plus, I figured it'd be nice to throw some insights and scenes of how things develop in the lives of the characters in the interim.

Also, watch out for the dancing fluffy bunnies. They're evil.

Fic begins now

-Iruka's Apartment-

"Mmm..." Anko slowly stirred to consciousness as she could feel a deep, satisfying ache spreading through her body, a smile instantly curling upon her lips as she started to roll onto her side.

Or, at least she tried to. Her body, refused to budge more than the merest of inches as she felt her limbs bound tightly against the bed. As she moved to speak, to protest, she could feel the thick mess of fabric stuffed into her mouth, and tied into place as she let her eyes flutter open, glazed and unseeing at first.

Then she noticed it, the weight atop her own, the warm, soft flesh, naked as her own, as she looked down at the mess of dark hair tossed about the sleeping face. Kurenai's sleeping face, the woman bound chest to chest atop her, her mouth gagged just as she was as they lay in the apartment. Slowly, groggily she felt images of the previous night come back to her, and unconsciously, she let a shiver, ripple down her spine.

"Mmmph!"

"Oh, finally up Anko-chan?" the voice came from just beyond the bed, revealing a shirtless Iruka yawning just a bit, "Good thing your team has the weekend off, otherwise they'd be wondering where you two were."

"Mmm?"

"Oh, its around... hmm... 11, 12? Something like that," the man grinned down at her as he would casually reach his fingers to her unbound hair, running them through it with a grin, "Now Anko-chan... have you learned your lesson yet?"

Thinking back on the night before, the woman couldn't help but grin, lecherously up at the man and quickly shook her head.

"A shame," the man shrugged a bit, before grinning at her, "Then I guess we won't be doing that again," listening to the desperate whimper escaping her throat, he lightly began to shake on Kurenai's shoulder, "Kurenai-san, you might want to wake up."

Groggily the other woman slowly was roused to wakefulness, her crimson eyes blinking, slowly, uncertainly glazed over with sleep before she looked down and realized her situation. Blushing the same shade as her eyes, the man himself blushed lightly at her whimper before he would carefully start to cuff her wrists and ankles, freeing her. That done, he gently pulled a sheet atop her, his eyes not quite able to meet her own as he continued to flush crimson.

Carefully reaching up, the woman untied the gag from her mouth, not quite able to meet the man's gaze as she gave a soft murmured response, "Th-thank you Iruka-sama."

"Ah, right," the man responded with a nervous chuckle before he looked down as he gave Anko a 'this is all your fault' look. The woman in question merely smiled up at him with her eyes, shining happily before giving a muffled 'mmm' in response, "So, ah yeah... I errr... washed your clothes and what not... they're in the bathroom... down the hall, on the left."

"Of course... Did you want me to go?" the woman responded, her eyes darting up towards the man with a sheepish blush on her face.

"Um," the man paused a moment, shifting worriedly as he couldn't quite look back at her, "I'm more surprised you aren't killing me, than anything."

"Oh," the woman paused a moment, blinking at the man before glancing down at Anko, seeing the shrug the woman her friend gave her, she flicked her eyes back to Iruka, "Why?"

"I might've gotten a bit... carried away," the man said carefully.

"Before or after you took control, and fucked our brains out?" The woman asked curiously as she casually let the sheet drop, casually revealing her soft, naked flesh.

"Um, with the whole taking control and uh, fucking your brains out," the man responded nervously as he watched the beautiful woman shrug once more as she casually ran her fingers against Anko's upper stomach.

"I don't know, do you think he got carried away with it Anko-chan?" Kurenai looked down at Anko, canting her head lightly to the side as she watched her friend violently shake her head. Pursing her lips lightly, the woman grinned down at Anko, "You seem to be spending a lot of time bound and gagged lately, Anko-chan. I think I'm starting to enjoy the quiet."

"Mph!" the woman humphed through her gag as she unconsciously pressed herself up against her friend.

"Naughty girl," Kurenai grinned down at the helpless woman, "I think you're really starting to develop a fetish."

The woman beneath her flushed crimson as she carefully rubbed her thighs together as much as she could considering their spread position, even as she shrugged lightly, "Mmm."

"So then, after much debate," Kurenai responded, "Anko-chan and I have decided that you most certainly did NOT get carried away last night Iruka-sama, and that a repeat is indeed in order."

"Mmmhmmhmm!" Anko eagerly added.

"Oh, and your girlfriend would like to inquire where you got all that stamina from," the red eyed woman remarked casually.

"Spend a few years chasing after Naruto after his pranks," the man responded with a shrug, "You pick up stamina by necessity."

"Ah yes," the woman responded sagely, "I imagine that would do it."

"So... Iruka-Sama?" the man stressed the last part, a carefully arched brow on his scarred face, "When did that happen?"

"I think somewhere between rounds three and four," the woman responded dryly as she would lightly stroke her fingers against her stomach, "You were very... Convincing."

"MHMM!" Anko was nodded rapidly, her whole body shaking in the process as she practically vibrated against Kurenai.

"Now Anko-chan," the man responded carefully, "Did you want this to become a more... permanent thing?"

The woman paused a moment, as if in deep, careful thought, causing Kurenai to give her a slap to some of her more sensitive anatomy, "Ignore the theatrics, she's been fantasizing about it for years."

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM," the low moan of agreement reached to both their ears, causing the unbound pair to blush lightly.

"I simply didn't think there was anyone that could handle it," Kurenai smirked as she would lean back, casually arching as her body slide across Anko's own, "Well, at least anyone that isn't currently on our genin team, is far too young for us to even consider, and already has his own pair of ladies to keep up with."

"Well he did already have Hinata," the man agreed lightly, "Though, I didn't think... he'd get Ino so easily."

"For anyone else?" Kurenai grinned wickedly, "Probably would never have happened. But..."

"Its Naruto," Iruka finished for her with a soft chuckle before he looked down at her, with an arched brow, "So, I think we're going to need to ungag Anko and lay down... some rules for this."

"Mmmm," Kurenai stretched again, before grinning, "Oh, so I know what I have to do to get punished Iruka-sama?"

The man twitched lightly as he gave her a bit of a look, "No, so you know what you need to NOT do in order to get what you want."

"Hmph," the woman actually pouted back at him as she carefully nibbled, sensually on Anko's neck just so he could watch, "And you think, we're going to just let you?"

"I think..." the man paused a long moment, as he thought about his little 'talk' with Naruto, "That I'm rather glad Naruto taught me enough to know that yes, you are."

"Damn," the woman responded half heartedly, her eyes fluttering shut as she could feel the calloused touch of his hands, moving down along her back, "Shall we get... to negoiations then?"

"Yes... lets."

-Somewhere in Konoha days later-

"Kitty, Puppy, do you copy?" a voice crackled to life across a radio band.

"This is Puppy, in position, over," a soft feminine voice rippled through the line.

"This is Kitty, in position," this second voice, no less feminine, but stronger, more forceful, "Lets get this over with already, I want some fun time, over."

"Keep your panties on Kitty," a woman's snarky voice crackled over the radio, "I know how eager you are to drop them for Big Boy, but..."

"Ahem," the first voice crackled over the radio with a cough, "I told you, I am NOT using that call sign."

"Mmm but its soooo true!" Puppy giggled lightly.

"... Kitty gets first snuggle rights today,"

"Just let me get that image out of my head," Kitty spoke up, with an almost purr to her voice, "It might take a bit, I'll get back to you on it."

"... You both are gonna get it now," the boy responded over the radio, grumbling softly, "And I refuse to respond to that call sign."

"All right Cuddles," the snarky voice came on again, "So, is the operation good to go?"

"... I'm so taking Iruka on a guys only vacation after this," 'Cuddles' grumbled angrily.

"Hey, why're you punishing us too?" Kitty, some how bringing the image of her pouting lips to mind with her tone alone.

"I'll allow it," a more refined woman's voice spoke up, "As long as I'm allowed to chaperone."

"Traitor!" the snarky woman's voice spat back.

"No, just greedy," the refined woman responded.

"Yeah... lets get this mission taken care of," 'Cuddles' managed, "Before I end up needing a drink."

"Heh, first rounds on me!" the snarky woman responded.

"I'm pretty sure Iruka would object," he shot back, "At least if he wasn't the one getting them off you."

"I love this kid to death," the snarky woman shot back, "Just lemme prove it!"

"Uh, yeah... I don't think so," the boy responded, "Anyway, target's coming up on you Puppy, ready to chase it to Kitty's position, over?"

"Confirmed Cuddles," the girl's voice giggled back in response, "Herding target to Kitty's position, over."

"Target is in sight Puppy," Kitty spoke up, "Preparing to execute capture, over."

"Confirmed Kitty," Puppy spoke up, grinning eagerly, "Lets get this furball under wraps so we can get back to mmmmm."

"Definitely Confirmed Puppy," Kitty shot back, "Target has been neutralized and captured, over."

"Finally," 'Cuddles' spoke up, "I say next time, we give the thing to Stinky-chan first."

"That's not nice Cuddles," Kitty responded back, "Even if the thing deserves it."

"Plus... who knew she'd turn out like... that," Puppy said with a note of awe in her voice.

"What can I say?" 'Cuddles' voice had an audible grin to it, "I... inspired her! Hehehe..."

"I noticed," Puppy responded with a grin, "She's been dragging me into helping her prank Neji."

"All right, cut the chatter on the com," the snarky woman's voice snapped out with a chuckle, "Its bad form."

"But it'll leave anyone else confused as hell" 'Cuddles' protested.

"Or thinking all kinds of distracting thoughts that they really shouldn't," Kitty practically purred back.

"I said can it you pervs!" the snarky voice snapped back.

"Like you're one to talk, " the boy drawled, "All that talk of... what was it? Iruka-sama? Heh... Signing off."

With an audible click, the boy cut out just before the string of curses started up, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he laughed softly then pulled out a notebook. Naruto "Cuddles" Uzumaki had things to plan. Wicked plans, the likes of which sent shivers down the spines of a variety of white masked men and women all through out the village. Something, big was coming their way.

-The Academy-

The giggling rippled through the air like a waterfall roaring in the distance as one floated down stream. A haunting, ominous thing that promised nothing but trouble to those that heard it. Upon it reaching his ears, Iruka Umino shrugged a bit before lightly flipping through his pages while the rest of the instructors began to panic.

"You know Iruka-sensei," the giggling stifled for a moment, a voice piped up, "It ruins the atmosphere when you don't start panicking like the rest of them."

"Hanabi-chan," the man spoke up, not even bothering to glance up from where he was grading his papers, "I spent years teaching Naruto. I date Anko Mitarashi. I sleep with her. Do you think, for a moment, you've got ANYTHING that will make me panic like them?"

"Well no," the pout on Hanabi's face was practically audible, "But a girl likes to be appreciated for her skills."

"That's fine, why don't you go play with Konohamaru?" the man responded as he made another note on his test, "His grades have been slipping again."

"Oooooh," the girl's pale eyes lit up, "Does this mean I get to remind him to be a better student?!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of reminding him what happens when he tries to emulate Naruto so poorly," the man drawled with a chuckle, "By the way, nice trap on those paint bombs, you're getting better."

"Awwwww, thank you Iruka-sensei!"

"Mhm, just remember one thing Hanabi-chan," the man said casually.

"What's that Iruka-sensei?" the girl inquired innocently, just before a trio of paint bombs exploded all around her, covering her in green paint.

"I know how to fight back," the man didn't even crack a smirk as he continued grading the test papers, "Have fun with Konohamaru Hanabi-chan."

"I will Iruka-sensei!" the green colored girl giggled again, before she raced off, leaving a trail of green paint behind her.

"... I can't believe you did that to Hiashi Hyuga's daughter," there was a note of frightened awe in the other teacher's voice as he stared at Iruka.

"Hmm?" the man finally looked up as he finished the last paper, "Oh, I just got permission to fight fire with fire."

"Do you think the rest of us could get that?" the man said hopefully.

"No, not really," Iruka casually responded as he straightened the papers, "Naruto doesn't like the rest of you very much," he paused, offering the man a cold smile, "Enjoy your lunch, I don't think Hanabi-chan managed to get a hold of yours this time."

The scar faced man paused for a moment, before looking back at the nervously pale teacher, "Of course, I didn't watch her the whole time, she's getting sneakier that one," again, he paused, a rather sweet little smile on his lips, "Gets it from Naruto."

Turning again, Iruka made his way out of the school and headed towards Ichiraku's Ramen stand, all this reminiscing was making him hungry.

Outside, a shivering Konohamaru was nervously twitching as he looked this way and that, jumping at almost the slightest of sounds, his flesh pale and his eyes sunken. He sat, shivering in fear as he stared at the bento in front of him. Had she gotten to it? Was it safe? Did he even dare open it?

He wasn't certain, he didn't know if he could even take the risk. The last few weeks had been a nightmare, prank after prank, unrelenting, unstopping all accompanied by that singular, haunting sound. Then, he heard it, the tell tale sound of the damned being given notice.

The giggling of Hanabi Hyuga.

"Oh Konohamaruuuuu....!" instantly he tensed again, his eyes widening, hoping, searching for the figure so he knew which way to run, before it was too late.

Then, she was in front of him, smiling her happy little smile as she giggled down at him, "Hello Kon-kun! I heard you've been a bad, bad boy again! Letting your grades slip like that!"

"No more!" the boy desperately pleaded, "Please, no more!" his voice broke into a pathetic whimper, "I can't take it anymore!"

"Awwww, what's the matter Kon-kun?" the girl casually plopped down, covered in that vivid green paint as she casually threw an arm around his shoulder, spreading the paint onto his clothes, "I thought you WANTED to play with me!"

"Play!" the boy almost shouted, "Not end up in a warzone!"

"Heh," the girl grinned, "Nah, this isn't a warzone, besides, they're just pranks. Best way to start sharpening our ninja skills and have fun at the same time while we're still kids!"

"Do I LOOK like I'm having fun?!" the boy almost screamed back.

"No, you look like you're a poke away from a nervous break down," the girl smiled back, "What, didn't expect me to be be this good hmm?"

The boy shuddered again as she curled up, shivering wildly as he would half whimper again, not responding with words as he struggled to avoid her gaze.

"And just think, we've still got years, and years together!" Hanabi chirped happily as she giggled again, "Maybe I'll be lucky enough to be like Naruto-kun and get some B-Ranked missions testing ninja before graduating!"

"... I liked you better when you were a stiff, stuck up bitch," Konohamaru mumbled, "Then all I had to worry about was you screaming at me after I pranked you..." the boy paused, before glaring at her sullenly, "Not get a giggling lecture on what I did wrong."

"A ninja must always strive to improve themselves!" the Hyuga girl grinned back, "Besides, I rather like having loosened up," she thoughtfully tapped her lips for a moment, "Though, it did take Naruto-kun, my sister and their teammate a good bit of time to help me to where I am now."

"Doesn't your father object to all this?" the boy said desperately, trying to grasp onto anything for a bit of relief.

"I haven't seen daddy smile so much in years actually!" the girl giggled again as she flipped to her feet then playfully began to walk up the tree the boy sat under, walking up to just over his head as she leaned forward to look into his eyes, "The elders though, they've been very very upset that I stopped playing by their rules... That and all the little things I've had fun doing to them. What they get for lying to me about Mother!"

"Um... ok?" the boy said as he shifted nervously while watching her.

"I am however, sorely disappointed in you Konohamaru Sarutobi," Hanabi spoke up, her hands on her hips as she glared petulantly down at the boy, "And here I thought you, of all people could enjoy the new me and have fun, but nooooo you just had to go and be a wimpy, boring little stick in the mud!" she snorted disdainfully as she crossed her arms about her chest, "Iruka-sensei is more fun than you!"

"Erk," Konohamaru flinched slightly as he looked warily up at the girl, "You don't give me a break! You keep pranking me non-stop! I can't take it! EVERY DAY! EVERY HOUR ALMOST!"

"Bah, quit whining," the girl grumbled, "You wanna be a ninja or a weakling?"

"I am not weak!" he huffed indignantly.

"Meh, you're the one that keeps whining and whining and whining," the girl responded with a shrug, "Yet, you don't do anything about it!"

"Eh?" the boy blinked slightly as his eyes widened at the girl.

"You!" she reached down, jabbing her finger against his chest for emphasis, "Don't. Fight. Back," she rolled her eyes, her finger poking him with each word, "Seriously, how do you expect to EVER become a ninja if you just sit there, waiting to get nailed?"

"B-bu-but...!"the boy twitched a bit, shifting nervously, "Naruto'll kill me!"

"No," the girl responded quite calmly, "He'd have killed you if you were pranking me when I wasn't pranking you first, or back. When you were just picking on me," she paused, looming over him from above, "So, now you have a choice..." she grinned wickedly down at him, "Go insane and never become a ninja, let alone Hokage, or start showing you have what it takes."

Giggling again, she flicked at the boy's nose before jumping and flipping neatly over his head and almost skipping back to class, leaving a rather flummoxed boy behind to stare uncertainly at her retreating form.

"Oh, so she wants a war?" the boy narrowed his eyes then, letting a dangerous glint pass over

them, "Then she'll get a war, hehehe."

-The Hyuga Compound-

"How was the academy today Hanabi-chan?" Hiashi looked up from his papers, as he sipped at his tea, only arching a brow slightly at his green splattered daughter as she smiled sunnily back at him.

"Oh, it was just fine Daddy!" the girl giggled in response, "Iruka-sensei complimented me on how far my skills on trapping my traps were coming!"

"Ah I see," the man nodded as he took another sip, "And the reason for your... condition?"

"He caught me?" the girl responded easily, smiling again as she stretched out slowly before shrugging, "I don't see why they don't encourage pranking more, its GREAT for building up skills!"

"Yes, however, some people tend to... not notice that particular feature," the man's lips twitched slightly, "Hiroshi for instance. I do believe you finally broke him this morning, replacing his shampoo with hair remover," he paused a moment, sipping his tea again, "I seem to recall he was rather proud of the condition of his hair."

"Oh?" the girl responded innocently, "I never knew! He didn't once mention it all those times he was telling me how I should act like a prim and proper woman like Mother!"

"Yes," the man actually smiled at that, "Of course the other elders are furious about it... They're going around with their Byakugan active at almost all times," he paused casually, "They're so busy trying to keep from being caught in their pranks, that they've almost completely stepped out of the clan's affairs."

"Awwww," the girl grinned back at her father, "I know how much you appreciate all their hard work and selfless dedication..."

The man snorted back a laugh as he took another sip of his tea, "Yes, of course Hanabi-chan... of course... Though, it would seem they've been... relaxing more and more while you're at the Academy. Apparently they think that they're safer when you're not here. So they can let their guards down."

"Tsk!" the girl responded with a slight frown, "Why those...! Insulting my pranking skills?! Unforgivable!" she rubbed her hands together, an evil gleam running across those pale eyes, "I'll get them... oh yes... I'll get them but goooooood... Hehehehehehe."

"I'm sure you will honey," the man nodded as he took another sip from his tea, restraining the smile threatening to mimic his daughter's own, "Anything else happen today?"

"Oh, not much, just started a war," the girl nodded casually as she started to walk away.

"... Just started a war?" the man paused, eying his daughter carefully, "Freeze, explain."

"Oh, its nothing daddy!" the girl insisted, grinning back at him, "I just finally think I pushed Konohamaru far enough to start fighting back! Things should start being fun now!"

"I expect I'll be hearing from your teachers even more often now?" the man paused, sipping again at his tea.

"Probably!" the girl nodded with a wide grin, "Well, except for Iruka-sensei," the girl paused a moment, before frowning, "I think he's going to start sending home critiques like Naruto-kun."

"Good for him," the man nodded back, "I was thinking of talking to the Hokage about encouraging students to take a more active role in these types of exercises, Naruto has certainly proven how effective they can be in training."

"Yay, full class prank war!" the girl was practically drooling over the thought, "Complete and utter chaos! YAAAAAY!"

"... I think I might have to rethink that proposal," the head of the Hyuga Clan twitched lightly as he sipped his tea again, watching his now pouting daughter.

"Awwww..." the girl lightly kicked the ground, "Go maniacal one time and everyone's afraid of you."

"More... Cautious than anything," the man shrugged a bit, "Plus, we do need the academy students to graduate with their... minds intact."

"But, its soooo much more fun to be crazy!" the girl grinned back at her father, "Bye bye now daddy, I'm off to play with the Elders!"

"Have fun sweety," the man chuckled as he responded, "And remember..." he paused, his eyes suddenly gleaming wickedly, "No need to worry about holding back."

"With them, I never do!"

-ANBU Headquarters-

"CODE ORANGE! REPEAT CODE ORANGE!" the words erupted across the compound, blaring at every individual as they as one, felt a cold shiver, running down their spines. A moment later, they knew why.

Chickens were everywhere. In every room, squawking, flapping their wings around as they dashed this way and that. Small greased pigs were running around the floors, slipping through the fingers of cursing white masked figures. And somehow, in the middle of the training room, a single, solitary cow was munching on a roll of hay left out for it to feed on.

A purple haired woman, stood there, her arms crossed as she lightly tapped a finger against her arm, as a single unmasked jounin stood next to her, coughing slightly, "Huh... Looks like another performance review."

"Yes, I can see that," the woman nodded slightly, twitching underneath her mask as a greased pig ran between her legs, followed by a lunging ANBU lunging after it.

Said ANBU suddenly found a pair of sword's pressed against his body, one at his throat, held in the hand of the jounin, the other, pressed firmly between the man's legs. Instantly freezing, the man leg out a startled squeak as he let the pig squirm loose from his grip and continue darting across the room. The unmasked jounin, looked down at the man and coughed again, "I do believe... you're somewhere you shouldn't be."

The man nodded carefully, making certain not to press too firmly against the razor sharp blade pressed to his throat as the ANBU woman growled in turn, "Then, why are you still there?"

"Um... Because if I try to go anywhere else..." the man trailed off carefully gesturing to the swords pressed against his skin.

Before either sword wielders could respond, a pair of chickens suddenly flew into their faces, batting them with feathers and and dulled claws as one managed to tangle itself in the woman's hair. Growling the swordswoman removed the blade from her coworker and started trying to push the flapping avian away from her purple hair. The jounin next to her managed to bat the chicken assaulting his face to grab hold of the neck of the one attacking her and pulling it away, and painfully tugging her hair in the process.

It was then, that the second stage of the prank began, as multiple copies of a whistling Naruto could be seen, practically bounding through the building, throwing tags onto both the ANBU forces, and the animals themselves. Moments later the soft puffs of paint exploding out of the tags could be heard as vivid colors splattered all over the various animals and ninjas. In the middle of it all, the jounin and the ANBU woman next to him, simply stared as one Naruto calmly walked up to them.

"Huh, well this is going better than expected," the boy commented lazily as he stretched out, "Though, seriously..." he paused, tsking lightly as he gave them a look, "That's not a good thing for your reviews."

"We're off duty," the woman shrugged a bit, "And we were about to head on a date."

"Ah, of course, of course," the Naruto nodded as he looked around, "We'll just say you were already out on your date then, though, you might want to get going."

"Right," the man coughed softly as he looked at the woman, "Shall we then?"

The woman agreed with a nod, before the pair of them disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving the chaos behind them as the Naruto tsked again then looked around the room, before sighing, "You know, you guys DO realize this is just a distraction, right?"

The ANBU froze where they were attempting to catch the various animals racing about the room, just in time to see a trio of figures racing off, as the boy sighed again, "Tsk tsk... This isn't going to look good for ya'll... If they make it to the wall, you guys fail your reviews."

Instantly, the sensation of every eye widening at once rippled through the room, as the Naruto pulled out a watch and looked it over, "You do realize you only have maybe ten minutes or so before they reach the wall right?"

The rush of figures suddenly trampled over the Naruto, causing it to vanish in a puff of smoke as a mass of ANBU personnel raced out of the headquarters all as one. And directly into a series of glue and feather tags that left them once more Konoha's Feather Dusters. The trio of figures paused again, looking back at the group expectantly before shaking their heads with a sigh.

"They fell for it," the first figure spoke up.

"So I see," chimed the second.

"Rather sad isn't it?" added the third.

"Yes, rather," the first agreed.

"This is going to be a long review, isn't it?" sighed the second.

"Most definitely," nodded the third, "Ah well, shall we then?"

"Off we go!" the first nodded as the trio raced down the streets, followed moments later by the now thoroughly enraged, and feathered, ANBU forces.

In his tower, the Hokage chuckled as he watched the unfolding scene, his eyes alight with delight as he observed the series of tricks the boy was pulling on the group, as well as the careful distractions his teammates were setting up. It was honestly a delight to watch the boy work. Though, again it was quite disappointing how easily he was able to overcome the various ANBU forces with simple diversion and misdirection. He wondered if any of them would even notice the variety of different surprises the boy had left after they'd almost completely abandoned the headquarters en mass.

Ah well, if they didn't notice themselves, it served them right to learn the hard way.

Grinning softly, he focused in on another scene in particular, where a Naruto was busy jotting down notes from a nearby rooftop as a triumphant, though quite feathered ANBU was approaching him from behind.

"Got you, you slick bastard!" the man said triumphantly as he loomed over the boy.

"Sorry," the boy responded, not even bothering to look up as he continued to jot down notes into the notebook before him, "Observational clone number 23, I'm not part of the exercise, I'm merely recording and taking notes for the review."

"Yeah right, you're coming with me, kid," the man said as he roughly grabbed hold of the boy's arm, "Now."

"And, you do realize that interfering with a B-ranked mission issued by the Hokage himself isn't something taken lightly correct?" the boy asked, looking down at the man's arm before looking back up at him, arching a brow casually.

"You. Are. Coming. With. ME," the man growled out, his eyes flashing beneath his mask, "Got it you little demon brat?!"

"Oh, you really, really shouldn't have said that," the clone tsked softly and shook his head, "Now you're in for it."

"Oh yeah, and what're you gonna do about it?" the man snarled back cockily.

"You do realize I'm a SHADOW clone, right?" the boy responded, before shaking his head, "Or, are you just so stupid that you don't realize exactly what that means?"

"That's it!" the man growled, then roughly slammed his fist into the boy's face, causing him to vanish in a puff of smoke.

The man paused a moment, before exactly what the boy had said dawned on him, especially when a moment later, a rather excessive number of copies of Naruto suddenly surrounded him, "Oh... shit."

"Yeah, once one of us goes poof, we ALL know what he did," the sound of cracking knuckles was heard all around the man, "Oh, and you fail your performance review."

"... Double shit," the man bemoaned, just before the swarm was upon him.

When it cleared, the man had been stripped down to his boxers and mask, his body, completely hogtied. As he sweated nervously, he was treated to the sight of another clone picking up the notebook and continuing where the first had left off, as the rest of the clones took off to various different locations, vanishing from sight.

"Are you just going to leave me like this?" the man demanded, ignoring the aches in his body.

"Oh no," the clone responded, continuing to take the notes, "But the rest of your punishment is going to wait until the review is over."

The blonde boy paused, before turning his head, grinning viciously at the man, "After all, what's the fun of making an example out of you, if no one sees it?"

The man broke back a whimper as he struggled futilely against the chakra bound ropes, the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach only growing.

A predatory grin from the clone didn't help much either.

Back in the streets, madness ensued as a mess of white feathered figures raced along the streets, almost blindly chasing after the three figures as one managed to pull ahead almost catching them as the group managed a good 30 feet lead on the rest of the group. After turning a sharp corner, the rest of the crowd was briefly cut off from sight of the fleeing three and their closest pursuer. When they turned the corner, they found themselves at a fork in the road, their lead pursuer standing there in a daze.

"Which way did they go?!" someone from the group shouted at the seemingly confused looking man.

He looked back at them a moment, his masked face unreadable before he raised his arms, then crossed them about his chest, pointing in both streets, "They went... Thatta way!"

For a moment the group paused in confusion, uncertain what to make of the odd directions, before the group, split, attempting to follow both paths. Unfortunately, as it worked out, people ended up attempting to head to the opposite fork, causing the group to fall over themselves in confusion. The man looked at the group of fallen nins and canted his head lightly to the side.

"Huh... " the figure shrugged, before picking up a bag at his feet, then jumping into the group, "Banzai!"

No one noticed him making a hand sign in midair, releasing a technique just before he landed in the group, and the pink paint bombs in the bag, exploded, covering the group in a brilliant swath of color. At the side of the street, a blonde haired girl suddenly jerked her head up from where she seemed to have been napping and blinked at the group. She couldn't help but immediately start giggling as she watched the ANBU struggle back to their feet before attempting to give chase once more.

Back at the now deserted ANBU headquarters, the various animals left behind, suddenly transformed into shadow clones as they grinned at once another and quickly went to work. Everything was rearranged and moved, tidied, but visibly altered. When the group did finally return, despondent at their failure, the realized the greater mistake they'd made in not leaving anyone behind to protect their headquarters.

Left neatly there in the room, was another table full of ramen, and another, far thicker performance review waiting for their perusal.

Else where, the jounin and ANBU couple blinked slightly as they watched a group of clones carrying a nearly naked ANBU through the street, heading straight towards the Academy. Blinking towards his female companion, the jounin spoke up, "Isn't that....?"

"Yes, I do believe it is," the woman nodded in agreement.

"You don't think he was stupid enough to...?"

"Yes, I do believe he is," she nodded simply and succinctly.

"Huh," the man coughed softly before shrugging, "What he gets then."

"Indeed," the woman agreed, "Pass the dango."

"Oh this?" the man blinked a moment, holding up a stick as he gave her a weak smile then pulled her over onto his lap, "Its easier this way."

"Yes, I do believe you're right," she agreed, then nuzzled into his neck with a smile.

"Shall we get back to our date, and ignore the stupidity of our comrades?" the man offered as he held the dango stick up to the purple-haired woman's lips.

"Lets," she agreed, taking a bite before getting nice and comfortable against his chest.

The Hokage himself blinked at the five reports that were dropped off on his desk by a group of clones, who grinned, and supplied him with two bowls of ramen before pointing to the note a top the reviews, and disappearing. As he read the note, he merely chuckled before making a very familiar hand sign.

When the smoke cleared and five copies of Sarutobi popped into existence, the man himself began to happily eat his ramen as the shadow clones went to work, going over the performance reviews.

-Some days later Training ground 28-

"Neji Hyuga...." the words echoed through the forested training ground, a whisper that couldn't quite be ignored.

Instantly the pale eyed boy tensed, his bloodlimit activating as he scanned the area for the source, "Who's there?" the calmness of his words struggled against the gnawing worry that echoed inside of him, all he could see was his teammates and instructor.

"Neji? What's going on?" the bun haired Tenten spoke up, eying the Hyuga warily as she looked around herself, "Who's calling you?"

"Neji.... Hyuga.... Your time, has come," again the words came, twisting through the air in the air with their haunting echo.

The boy in question froze for a moment, before he glared back into the forest, "You won't take me Naruto-sama! You might've gotten Hinata-sama and Hanabi-sama, but you won't get me!"

The rest of his team looked back at him, at what passed for a look of almost panic in those pale eyes as the nervously began to eye the forest themselves.

"Yosh! What is it my rival Neji?!" The thick browed Rock Lee asked excitedly, his eyes looking around, "Something for us to test our youthfulness against?!"

"Actually, we're just here for Neji," the voice came back in a bland voice, echoing around them, "Sorry."

"But surely you will not deny my team a test of their youthfulness!?" The towering jounin instructor proclaimed, "For if we cannot aid our teammates, I'll..."

Whatever else the man might've said, was cut off, as a scroll dropped from the air, directly onto his head, before bouncing off and landing in his hands. Blinking in surprise, the teacher slowly opened up the scroll before his eyes widened slightly before looking down at Lee and Tenten, "I am sorry my most youthful students, but our most unyouthful companion is to be punished for his most unyouthful actions against his cousin!"

"Really?" Tenten blinked, "What did he do?"

Wordlessly, the super bushy browed Gai handed the scroll over to the girl, watching as she read through the scroll, blinking a moment before scowling lightly at her teammate, "He did WHAT?!"

Neji blinked a moment, before making note of the expression of righteous anger flooding Tenten's face, his panicked expression only growing in response, "Really Tenten-san, there's a perfectly..."

Any further response the boy would have made, was promptly cut off as string of kunai began to fly towards the pale eyed boy. As the scroll fell to the ground, Lee picked it up himself and began to read through the contents. Blinking again, he stared, in open mouth shock at his teammate, unable to properly articulate the words to respond.

Stepping into view, Hinata and Hanabi Hyuga blinked slightly as they watched Tenten viciously attempt to turn their cousin into a pin cushion before giggling softly to themselves. After a moment, Hinata coughed softly into her hand as her sister continued to giggle, "Um, Tenten-san?"

The bun haired girl blinked and paused a moment, a kunai poised to release as she looked towards the pale eyed girls, "Yes Hinata-san?"

"While I'm sure that we all appreciate your... enthusiasm," the girl smiled as her sister giggled even more for a moment, "We do need him in relatively one piece."

"Oh," Tenten blushed brightly as she quickly gave the girl a bow, "Sorry about that..."

"No worries!," Hanabi spoke up, before grinning as she darted over to the girl and gave a conspiratorial stage whisper to the girl that everyone could hear, "Wanna see pictures of how he learned respect?"

If it was possible, Neji paled even further, his eyes widening as he gulped out, "Hanabi-sama... there's... no need to do that!"

"Hmmm?" Tenten blinked at Neji's pallid response before she turned back to the girl, "It would seem I most certainly do..."

Grinning madly, the young girl scampered over, climbing onto the surprised girl's back, clinging there, just over her shoulder as she pulled the photos out so she could look at them over the girl's shoulder, "Heeeeeere! Hehehehe."

Blinking a bit at the expressly familiar demeanor of the girl, Tenten took the photos somewhat warily before beginning to flip through them. Suddenly blushing bright crimson, she stared at the contents, looking over at Neji again, before blushing even brighter, flipping more slowly, but steadily through the photos as Hanabi whispered above her ear, "He really taunt Neji-san the meaning of the term Respect! Right Neji-san?"

The man flinched visibly still pale as he would nod, sweat building across his cheeks, "Yes, Hanabi-sama."

"Now Neji-san," Hinata spoke up, walking over to the boy and smiling sweetly at him, "I do believe you're familiar with these?" she held up a collar and leash.

"Y-y-yes Hinata-sama," if possible, the boy was getting even paler as he responded.

"Good boy," she practically purred, "Now, you're in luck... Sasuke-kun is out on a mission for the time being, so he's not here."

Relief flooded across the boy's features as he would reluctantly take the collar, looking at it a long moment before pleading with her with his eyes.

"Now, now Neji-san," the girl tsked audibly, "You wouldn't want Naruto-kun to think you're being... disrespectful would you?"

"Yes, you wouldn't want that, would you Neji?" a voice, whispered through the training ground causing the dark haired boy to stiffen again and quickly shake his head as he pulled and strapped the collar about his throat.

"Good boy," Hinata smiled visibly as she petted her taller cousin atop his head then gave the leash a light little tug, "Come along."

As Hinata began to lead the boy off, Hanabi quickly spoke up, "Big sister! Can we take Tenten-chan here with us?! I'm sure she'd love to help!"

Blushing brightly still, Tenten quickly shifted her eyes from Hinata then towards her instructor, "Um, if Gai-sensei doesn't mind..."

"YOSH!" the man stuck his thumb up towards the girl, smiling broadly, "Tenten shines brightly with the flames of youth! Go, help your companion restore his youthfulness and redeem his most unyouthful actions!"

"Oh, I suppose," Hinata offered demurely before offering the leash to the bun haired girl, "Would you like to be the one to hold onto this?"

"Why yes... Yes I would," Tenten, grinned, wickedly as she took the leash from Hinata, then adjusted Hanabi slightly against her back, carrying the girl pig-back style as she led her teammate like a pet.

All Neji could do, was lower his head in shame, as he marched on, feeling the sensation of impending doom falling down his spine with each step.

-Some Days Later-

"I hope Team 7 gets back soon," Sakura grumbled as she idly watched Chouji munching away, "Its been getting boring without Kiba to lighten things up."

"What, no troublesome whining about Sasuke-kun?" Naruto laughed where he sat with Ino perched on his lap this time and Hinata snuggled up at his side.

Shikamaru, blinked a bit then glared at Naruto, "Quite being troublesome Naruto."

Blushing Sakura shrugged a bit before leaning back, "Well, its kinda pointless for me to be all squealing over a gay guy isn't it?" she blushed again as the image popped up in his head, a bit of blood trickling out of her nose as an image appeared before her.

"Oh boy," Ino rolled her eyes as she leaned back comfortably against Naruto, pulling his arm about her waist, "Forehead's gone again, hey Chouji, give her a nudge would you?"

"Fine, fine Ino," the big boned boy grumbled as he nudged his teammate lightly, "Troublesome girl."

"Is everyone going to keep being so damned troublesome?" Shikamaru grumbled lightly as he turned his lazy glare towards his best friend now.

"Probably," Naruto chimed in with a grin as he nuzzled lightly against Ino's neck while he lightly caressed against Hinata's side, "But, I'm kinda enjoying not having Kiba about."

"That's just because you're tired of him drooling in jealousy Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up with a giggle as she snuggled in closer to her two teammates.

"Well, yes, there is that," the blonde boy admitted with a nod and a sheepish grin.

"I don't see how you two can just... share like that," Sakura stared at her best friend and the blonde's teammate, "Its just.. weird."

"But Hinata-chan's sooooo cute!" Ino grinned back at her best friend as she would lightly pull her teammate's head down against her lap, lightly stroking the rapidly blushing girl's hair, "I mean, look at the way she blushes!"

"Ino-chaaaaan!" the girl in question whined lightly in protest as she helplessly gave into the steady stroking of her hair, pouting lightly.

"Oh, hush," the blonde girl in question grinned as she grinned at the Hyuga girl, "You're cute, deal with it."

"You're both cute," Naruto spoke up underneath both girls as he chuckled a bit, "So, moving on?"

"I have no idea how you can manage such troublesome girls Naruto," Shikamaru drawled as he lay his head on the table, earning himself a glare from Ino, "I've been stuck with Ino since we were kids... I'm glad you got her not us."

"Heh," Naruto chuckled a bit, "Eh, she's not that bad, you just have to know how to handle her."

"Oh, and you think you know how to... Handle me?" Ino almost purred as she looked saucily over her shoulder, arching a brow challengingly to her teammate.

"I can prove it right here and now if you want," the boy responded with a sweet smile while he would lightly let his fingers caress through Hinata's hair as he ran his fingers atop Ino's own.

The girl immediately blushed and looked away, grumbling lightly under her breath about 'troublesome' boys, earning her a hurt glare from Shikamaru, "You too?"

"Oh hush Shika," the girl grunted just a bit as she looked at her friend, before squirming slightly as she looked down at Hinata, "Ok, so maybe Naruto-kun does know how to handle me... Though..."

Ino suddenly giggled as she winked down at Hinata, "Should we tell them what our dads have been up to?"

Hinata blushed crimson as she turned her head, burying her face into Ino's lap as she gave a muffled response, "I don't know HOW you found out about that!"

"Some of the girls dropped dad off one night," Ino giggled wickedly, her eyes gleaming, "Man, that was funny, I had to tell them to wait until he was sober to take advantage of him!"

Team 8 stared at Team 10, before blinking slightly and shaking their heads, "Ok... do we even wanna know?"

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure do!" a familiar voice sounded out as Kiba's eager face appeared, just before he slid into the booth, "After the mission we had, I could use some juicy news."

"Oi dog face," Ino grumbled as she leaned back resignedly against Naruto's chest, "When'd you guys get back?"

"Just now, we figured we'd come and see if you guys were here, so Spanky could give his big news," the Inuzuka made a slight face as he tried to slide in next to Hinata, only to get a withering glare from both girls that sent him sheepishly to the other side of the booth.

"Ah?" Sakura blinked slightly as she scooted over to sit on the other side of Naruto while everyone made room for the rest of Team 7, "What's Sasuke's big news?"

"Yo," Shino spoke quietly as he sat down next to Kiba, before everyone's attention turned towards two nervous figures that stood at the edge of the table.

Grinning sheepishly, Sasuke had his arm around the waist of a very pretty, feminine figure with long dark hair as his free hand lightly ran through his hair, "Hey guys... This is Haku... My, um.. boyfriend."

End Note: Eh heh... Things should be more normal in the next chapter, well less jumpy at least. I wanted to establish some of the things that were going to happen, but, at the same time... I didn't wanna map out every little detail, so, things were a bit jumpy like I said. My apologies.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Author's note: *whistles innocently* Sorry this took so long, lost steam on it and other things went bleh. A bit more serious than previous chapters, but, hopefully I'll get back into the silliness soon enough.

Begin Fic

Ino blinked a moment, then couldn't help but laugh, "Wow... he's prettier than you are forehead!"

"Shut up Ino-pig!" Sakura shot back even as she blushed a vibrant crimson in embarrassment.

"Huh," Naruto blinked slowly, canting his head to the side as he would hold Ino against his chest, "Hate to say it, but I think she's right Haruno," the boy paused a moment, before smiling innocently, "Though, after Neji, I can't say I'm surprised you'd go after a femmie boi, Spanky."

Haku blushed brightly where he stood, before looking back at Naruto was careful dark eyes, "You would be... Naruto...?"

"Was it my sparkling good looks, or the girls that gave it away?" Naruto winked with a laugh as he ran his fingers through Hinata's hair.

"More like I told him you're the only guy crazy enough to call me that," Sasuke said with a glare as he grumbled a bit, tightening his hand about Haku's waist, "Move over already, Kiba will go all homophobic whiny on us if I sit near him."

"Sure, just don't think you're getting out of telling this story," Naruto agreed as he shifted himself and his girls over with a smirk, noticing the uncomfortable look on Kiba's face.

"Hey, its not homophobic!" the boy protested, "I just don't wanna get stabbed again!"

"Wow, tried to put the moves on Sasuke's boyfriend dog face?" Ino asked curiously.

"Wha...? NO!" Kiba immediately protested, "He uses needles! Almost killed me with them!"

"Eh, you got better," Sasuke grinned at his teammate as he pulled the still blushing Haku onto his lap, "And it was the most peace and quiet we got the whole mission."

"Quite true," Shino agreed quietly with a nod.

"Traitors!" Kiba whined.

"I get the feeling this is a long, convoluted story..." Naruto said sagely, "Does it end with me not being able to hold the threat of you over Neji's head, Spanky?"

"Why..." Haku spoke up, adjusting his kimono lightly as he leaned back against Sasuke with a blush, "Do you call Sasuke-kun, Spanky?"

"Ooooooh, he didn't tell you?" Hinata suddenly spoke up right next to the pair, her pale eyes gleaming, "Damn, Hanabi-chan and Tenten-chan still have the photos."

Sasuke paled immediately as he began to make repeated coughing sounds, "No need to get those."

"Oh yes, your boyfriend is quite the sexual deviant," Ino said with a nod, "Taking advantage of helpless shinobi and abusing their pour asses to teach them the meaning of the term, Respect!"

"...Like you're one to talk about sexual deviance, Ino," Sasuke grumbled while Haku only blushed brighter.

"Of course I am," the blonde girl grinned back at the dark haired boy innocently, "Want me to see Hinata-chan go down on Naruto-kun right here while I go down on her?"

Immediately, the four boys her exploded into shocked, coughing fits, staring with bugged out eyes at the innocent expression on Ino's face, while Hinata blushed crimson and Naruto just rolled his eyes. At least, until Kiba spoke up, "I don't know about him, but I sure as hell do!"

"Why am I not surprised," Ino rolled her eyes before pulling the wickedest grin she could across her lips then slipped down underneath the table with an exaggerated wiggle to her eyebrows.

His eyes bugging out, Kiba quickly ducked his head underneath the table, only to find himself staring at a kunai pointed directly at his nose, "Urk!"

"Now, Kiba," Ino practically purred, "Don't you know that kitties like me, don't like dumb, drooling little dog faces like you?" she casually tapped the top of the blade against the boy's nose before continuing, "So, from now on, behave, and don't make me have to... cut something of, hmmm?"

"What about cute puppies like me Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up, a pout audible in her words before she could feel Ino's face rubbing up against her leg.

"Oh, you're absolutely edible Hinata-chan," the girl responded easily, "I was talking about dirty, smelly little mutts like this one, instead of such cute, cuddly little puppies like you."

"Hey!" Kiba growled softly as he glared back at the smirking Ino, before his eyes widened as he watched her nuzzling up between both Naruto and Hinata's legs.

"Um," Haku blushed brightly as he watched the actions of the trio next to him, before flicking his dark eyes over to Sasuke, "Is that... Normal?"

"For them?" the dark haired boy shrugged softly as he would lightly rest his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder, "Nothing is normal. I'm fairly certain the blondes are exhibitionists, and they're slowly corrupting Hinata into their way of thinking."

"Hey!" Naruto protested, "We were completely innocent until after we met her!"

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata blushed brightly as she unconsciously spread her legs a bit for Ino and curled back against her male teammate's chest, "How can you say that!"

"Well, it is technically true!" the boy protested, before grinning lightly, "I met you before sensei started training me, so I was innocent until I met you!"

"Well, I suppose I did technically meet Hinata-chan while I was still innocent," Ino tapped lightly on her chin, before she slowly pushed her slender body up, sliding underneath the table as he body pushed up against Hinata, pressing the girl even more firmly into Naruto as she squirmed about, forcing the girl's legs spread out even more as she settled in front of her on the boy's lap, "So, I suppose..."

"No fair," Hinata pouted softly, her lips curling down into a frown even as she would wrap her arms around her female teammate, "What am I supposed to do when you two team up on me like that?"

"Sit there and enjoy it?" Ino responded with a sensual wink as she settled against the girl.

"I concur with my fellow blonde," Naruto agreed with a grin, "Hinata-chan sandwiches are fun."

"So, how'd spanky end up with such a cute boyfriend?" Ino continued, casually stroking her fingers against where Naruto's arm held them both.

"Oh, well..." Haku blushed brightly as he looked down, shifting just a bit in a way that managed to send a flush across the normally tightly controlled Uchiha's face, "Its kind of... complicated."

"Meh," Kiba spoke up with a shrug, "He was raised by the missing nin that was hired to kill the guy we were hired to protect."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, pausing his ministrations as he looked over at the Shino's confirming nod, "You guys were only supposed to be on a C-Rank, what happened?"

"Our client couldn't afford a properly ranked mission, so lied about what we'd be facing," Shino observed simply, "The mission has since been declared an A-Rank mission. And we will eventually be paid accordingly."

"Yeah!" Kiba smirked before flashing a grin towards a shocked looking Sakura, "We're gonna be the only rookies with such a bad ass mission record!"

"You might not want to go around saying that Kiba," Sakura spoke up, "You'll end up attracting attention and making yourself a target."

"Tsk, let the mutt deal with his own mouth," Shikamaru shrugged as he lay his head down on the tabletop, "Its too troublesome to bother with."

"Yeah. Besides," Ino spoke up with a slow, growing smirk, "Its not like you've got the most impressive mission record out of all the genin teams," she paused a moment before her eyes glinted, "Hell, you don't even have the best record of the teams here!"

"What, think a buncha crappy D-rank missions match up to our A-rank?" Kiba almost sneared back at her with a smug expression on his face.

Ino paused in her response, before sending a look back at Naruto, "Performance Review?"

Naruto and Hinata grinned ferally in return and quickly nodded their heads in agreement as Naruto responded, "Performance Review."

Sakura and Chouji both immediately paled at the blondes' words as Shikamaru slowly raised a brow, glancing at the two before laying his head down once more, "Tsk, troublesome sense of impending doom."

"Sorry Spanky," Hinata said apologetically, "You should really keep a better muzzle on your mutt."

"Hmmm? Did you say something?" Sasuke blinked as he looked up from where he'd been nibbling on the nape of Haku's pale, but blushing neck.

"Performance Review," Chouji spoke up, his eyes alight with delight as he leaned back, happily munching on his food.

"On who?" the boy blinked again, lightly tightening his grip on Haku's waist.

"Your team, thanks to Kiba," Naruto spoke up with a grin.

Instantly, Sasuke paled as he turned his eyes onto Kiba and just glared at the blinking boy, "Couldn't you learn to keep your damned mouth shut?"

"Huh? What's the big deal?" the feral boy blinked a moment, "You guys are acting like I brought about the end of the world or something!"

"No, simply abject and public humiliation for our team," Shino spoke up simply, "Along with a detailed report of exactly what we did wrong."

"Wha?" Kiba blinked at Shino.

"Look you troublesome mutt," Shikamaru grunted as he spoke up, "Their team," he gestured towards the three cuddling together, "Has THE best mission record out of ANY genin team. They regularly pull of B-Ranks, and even have several A-Ranks under their belt. One of the things they've also got, is a special commission from the Hokage to test any ninja or group of ninjas they want for Performance Reviews."

"Eh, what's the big deal?" Kiba shrugged, "Its just Naruto and a couple of girls!"

Sasuke paled even further as he looked quickly at Naruto, "Hey, the opinions of the idiot do not reflect those of the rest of our team, we in no way agree with or endorse his claims and/or any of the words coming out of his mouth!"

"Indeed," Shino agreed with a sage nod.

"True I suppose," Naruto agreed with a slow nod, before grinning wickedly, "But, you've got Kakashi as your instructor... And public reading Icha Icha heathens must pay!"

"Oh boy, here we go again..." Sasuke groaned softly, "Anyway, you wanted to know about Haku-kun right?"

"You have... interesting friends Sasuke," Haku said, delicately.

"Eh, Naruto and the girls aren't too bad," the Uchiha shrugged a bit as he nuzzled against the boy in his lap, "He just tends to be rather... enthusiastic."

"And devilishly clever," Naruto grinned, "I once dyed Sasuke's hair pink, and it took him a whole day to realize it."

"Ooooh I remember that!" Ino giggled as she looked over at a blushing Sakura, "It was the day Sakura followed you around mumbling about being destined to be together."

"Gah, don't remind me," Sasuke flinched, "Fangirls... ugh."

"You were... stalking my Sasuke?" Haku's eyes suddenly went hard as he glared across the table at Sakura, the room temperature dropping noticeably.

"Not anymore!" the pink haired girl quickly protested, "I'm done with that! Honestly!"

"Yo, Haku," Kiba said with a shiver, "Lay off the ice bitch act already, we don't wanna end up ninja-sicles!"

"Oh, sorry," Haku blushed again as suddenly the temperature rose again.

"Huh, that's an interesting technique," Naruto spoke up, looking curiously over at Sasuke's boyfriend.

"Its actually a bloodline limit," Sasuke spoke up proudly while Haku suddenly flinched at the term and lightly pulled away from his chest.

"Cool," the blonde boy spoke up before looking at Haku curiously, "Something wrong with having one Haku-san?"

"I.. I suppose not, but..." the feminine boy shrugged softly, "In Mist... people don't... bloodlines are considered a very bad thing..."

"Heh, you do realize that half the people at this table have something at least resembling a bloodline limit if not an actual one?" the grinning blonde countered, "Sasuke and Hinata-chan here being the most obvious of course."

"I'm just not used... to being so open about it," the boy shrugged lightly in his kimono as he leaned carefully back against Sasuke, "Its... caused problems for me in the past."

"So, how badly did you beat them up then?" Naruto grinned wickedly as he suddenly changed the subject, those brilliant blue eyes of his gleaming with a wicked delight.

"What?!" Kiba growled, "Who tol- I mean what the hell are you talking about, Naruto?!"

"Heh," Naruto grinned as he saw the blush on Sasuke's face, "I know, because I know the kind of guys that interest Spanky here... Since I'm the only one, other than Haku, here that he's been interested in."

"Oh?" the feminine boy blinked as he studied Naruto closely, "You are cute of course, but..."

"Eh, I beat him up," Naruto grinned as he would waggle his eyebrows back at Haku, "Spanky's got a few fucked up issues, completely understandable really, but, he's still fucked up in the head."

"Naruto..." instantly the Uchiha began to growl at the boy sitting next to him.

"Hey, I'm fucked up in the head too," the boy grinned back, "So are most of the people here, if we weren't, we couldn't be more than average ninja."

"Are you saying I'm fucked up in the head too Naruto-kun?" Ino casually asked, her eyes locking onto his with a glinting spark.

"Absolutely," Naruto grinned back, "If you weren't, you wouldn't have gotten so much enjoyment out of what we've been doing to Neji."

"Oh," the girl blinked a moment, before tilting her head lightly to the side with a grin on her face, "So that means you think I can be really powerful too huh?"

"Well, there was that thing you did during the ANBU's performance review..." he agreed with a smirk.

"Psh, that old thing?" the girl grinned wickedly before getting comfortable, "Hold me, would you Hinata-chan?"

"Sure Ino-chan," the girl smiled as she wrapped her arms firmly about the blonde's waist even as Ino made her hand signs then suddenly slumped back against the Hyuga's chest.

"All right, who're you hiding as Ino-chan?" Naruto smirked a bit as he would lightly let his blue eyes sparkle with amusement.

"What tha..." Kiba blinked before suddenly grabbing his dog, "Akamaru! NOOO!"

As the rest of the group stifled their laughter, they watched the golden stream splashing across Kiba's face, as well as the wetness that was quite obvious on the front of the boy's jacket. The dog barked happily, wagging his tail in response. Immediately, the rest of the table began to laugh at the boy, chuckling as the dog finished relieving itself before it licked Kiba's face.

"Ok, so we know that she's definitely not Akamaru," Naruto chuckled.

"What're you talking about?" Kiba growled, "She's gotta be in him!"

"No way Ino-chan would've licked your face," Hinata countered, "Akamaru's probably just taking the opportunity to get back at you for something..."

"Indeed," Shino nodded, while scooting away from his teammate, "However, I would appreciate if you would please go and clean yourself up Kiba. Not everyone appreciates the smell of wet dog."

"Why you..." Kiba growled but none the less allowed himself to be let out of the booth, "I'll catch up with the rest of you guys later..."

As the boy glared at his pet while walking away, Shino looked around the group, "Now the question still remains, who is Ino?"

"Heh, well, there's one way to tell..." Naruto said casually.

"And what's that?" Sasuke said curiously as he stroked his fingers against Haku's kimono.

"Chocolate Hinata-chan sundae with whipped cream and cherries on top," the boy said with a slow, sweet voice, the tones dripping with implication as they teased out into the collected ears.

"And sprinkles?" Sasuke spoke up, a trickle of blood trailing down his nose.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ino-chan," Naruto snickered as he gestured towards Sasuke.

"Aw, no fair Naruto-kun," Sasuke grumbled a bit before sighing as he raised his hand, "Fine... Release!"

With that, Sasuke slumped slightly for a moment, while Ino slowly stretched out back into Hinata's body, "Oooh, spoil my fun before I even get started huh Naruto-kun?"

"I don't think Sasuke much appreciates you using his body to cop a feel on his boyfriend," Naruto countered with a smirk.

"I would never..." Ino began before the rest of the group all simply gave her a single Look, "Ok, so maybe I would... "

Laughing softly, Naruto pushed himself forward just a bit, slipping over Hinata's shoulder to catch a kiss against Ino's cheek before looking at the rest of the group, "So, what else is new?"

-Elsewhere, later on-

"Mmm... So..." Anko was practically purring as she curled herself against Kurenai, resting her chin on the woman's shoulder, "Chuunin exams are coming up soon..."

"Yes, I know," the woman agreed as she leaned back, lightly closing her eyes as she pursed her lips, "I take it you want to enter them?"

"The brats are good," Anko responded quietly, "And well..."

"You want to show them off."

"Yeah, I mean, they're OUR students," there was a small measure of pride in her voice as she spoke, "They're crazy, more trouble than the rest of the genin put together, worryingly perverted, but they're ours."

"Are we really ones to talk about being worryingly perverted?" Kurenai countered with a slight smirk to her lips, "I mean, we are technically in almost the exact same position as them."

"True..." she pause a moment, before leaning back a bit, her brown eyes shadowing lightly, "Speaking of exams... thought about trying to whip Iruka into jonin?"

"A bit," the admission was quiet as it slipped past Kurenai's lips, "It sometimes feels, like... I don't know, we're taking advantage of him. We are both his superiors after all..."

"Yeah, I know," Anko nodded giving a little nuzzle to her friend before laying against the couch as she looked about her friend's apartment, "Think he'd punish us for ordering him around in public?"

"Definitely," Kurenai nodded, a slight grin forming on her face, "Did you have something in mind?"

"Putting in a personal assistant request with the Hokage?" Anko grinned deviously as she rubbed her hands together, "Secretary Iruka!"

"I think that's what the Hokage's been using him for," Kurenai countered with a smirk.

"Damn, I wanted to see him in a dress too," Anko grumbled playfully, before snickering softly, "Could we use him for an undercover mission at a drag queen review?"

"... You really want to get punished, don't you Anko-chan?" red eyes watched the giggling woman warily, uncertain about how to proceed, "I'm not sure he'd be very... pleased with those ideas."

"Yeah, I know," the woman shrugged a bit, "I'm a masochist, remember?"

For a moment, Kurenai simply looked at her friend, watching her as she looked away just slightly, not quite able to meet her crimson gaze. Pursing her lips just a bit, she reached out, lightly cupping Anko's cheek before pulling her friend's eyes towards her own, "What's wrong Anko-chan?"

"Nothing's wrong," the woman responded, but her eyes kept darting to the side, unable to stay on her friend's face.

"Things are going good for you, you've been happy," Kurenai frowned slightly as she would carefully stroke her thumb against her friend's cheek, "So why're you doing this?"

"I told you," Anko flashed her friend a plastic smile as she didn't quite look her in the eyes, "I'm a masochist, I want to be punished."

"Stop lying to me Anko-chan," the woman growled softly, "I'm enough of a masochist to know the difference between wanting some pain and wanting to be hurt."

"Same thing," Anko grunted back at her.

"No, its not," Kurenai responded before she firmly forced her friend's face up against her own, refusing to let her look away again, "Why do you keep doing this to yourself Anko? Why do you keep trying to punish yourself? Why do you think you have to be hurt?"

"Why not?" the woman shrugged slightly as she forced her cheek to turn, refusing to even look at the woman as she curled herself back somewhat, almost beginning to say something else before cutting off as she lightly wrapped her arms about her legs and held herself close.

"You know, it is okay to be happy and enjoy yourself Anko-chan," she spoke softly as her hand reached out, lightly running through the dark hair of the other woman, stroking it softly, "Its okay when things go right."

"Heh," Anko chuckled bitterly as she fought against the tears threatening to well within her eyes, "Things don't go 'right' for me Nai-chan, ever."

"So, what do you call things with Iruka and I?" she demanded in return.

"Waiting for the other shoe to drop," the blunt, deadened tone sent a flinch through Kurenai as she stared at her friend, "Something'll happen, it always does."

"Anko-chan..." the woman gently reached around, pulling the unresisting, but unresponsive body back over to her own.

"Ever since then," she spoke quietly, "Ever since... he did this to me... then threw me away. Its always like that. Nothing lasts, it all just turns to ash."

"Fuck him," Kurenai growled bluntly as she pulled Anko's eyes to her own, "Fuck that stupid bastard. If he couldn't see how wonderful you are, that's his loss. We want you."

"For now," the woman said with a soft grumble in her words.

"Oh, hell no," Kurenai's eyes flashed as she growled back at her, "You are not pulling that with me Anko Mitarashi!"

"I'm tired Nai-chan," she spoke softly, quietly back to her friend, and more, "I'm tired of waiting for everything to go to hell, waiting to be thrown away again. I don't want to be tossed aside anymore."

"You know, I thought I made it perfectly clear I wasn't in this for some fling to toss you aside Anko-chan," a new voice suddenly broke in as Iruka quietly walked up to the pair and slid down onto the couch next to her and gently wrapped an arm about her waist, "You think Naruto would have tried to hook us up if I was?"

"Yeah, says a lot that a 13 year old has to hook me up," the woman tried to tug away from Iruka, only to find herself gently pulled back, held against his chest as she gave only weak protests.

"Depends on the 13 year old," Iruka responded as he would lightly reach up, beginning to stroke his fingers against her hair for a moment, before pulling Kurenai over, gently capturing Anko between their bodies, "When its Naruto? It says a lot about you."

Gently he would kiss against her shoulder before letting his arms slip about her waist, just holding her close, "That you don't deserve all the pain that's being thrown at you, that you deserve to be happy, to have fun, to be free," he paused a moment, before grinning softly, "Besides, I'm the one who should be waiting for the other shoe to drop... I'm the guy with two beautiful women, its far more likely you two will dump me for each other, didn't you know that?"

"Not happening," Anko responded softly, shifting a bit so she lay against his chest, her arms wrapping about his chest, "Mine."

"Then, I suggest you get used to the idea that I feel the same way about you," he responded kissing softly atop her head, before looking up at Kurenai with a half speculative look, "Now, Kurenai, I'm not too sure about, think we should keep her?"

A slight grin curled on Anko's face as she shifted again, looking over her shoulder at her friend who was practically laying atop her, "I don't know... she's an awful lot of trouble..."

"And she does encourage your Kakashi cosplaying," he added with a chuckle.

"Hey, that's a joke," Kurenai protested.

"Right, what're you say Kurenai, whatever you say," the pair chimed back at her, grinning quietly in amusement.

"Brats," she grumbled softly before shifting and snuggling into them, "So, we're gonna put our team in for the Chuunin exams."

"Already?" Iruka blinked a bit, but offered no real protests as he would gently kiss against the top of Kurenai's head.

"Yeah, they're ready," Anko filled in, "They've already got the most impressive mission record out of any of the genin teams, even with 7's C-Rank bumped to A-Rank."

"Heh, did you see the Uchiha's boyfriend he picked up on that mission?" Kurenai giggled just a bit as she grinned at the two, "I swear, he looks prettier than any of the genin girls..."

"For now yeah," Anko chuckled, "Give Hinata and Ino a few years and we'll see. But, man, talk about a crazy mission... To go from trying to kill one another to... that... Heh."

"What happened?" Iruka inquired quietly, "I don't get much jounin level gossip anymore... Seems they're a bit jealous that a chuunin got the two hottest kunoichi in the Leaf."

"Oh, their client lied about their mission," Anko said casually, "Turned out, that Gato of the Gato Corporation had paid some missing nin to kill the guy to keep his choke hold on Wave... Ended up being the Demon Brothers and Momichi Zabuza from Mist."

"The Demon of the Mist himself huh?" Iruka whistled slowly, "Good thing they had Kakashi then..."

"Indeed," Kurenai nodded as she lightly trailed her fingers through Anko's hair, "So, they ended up clashing, but, Zabuza turned out to have a very skilled apprentice. One of the last of the hyouten line... Kid's stronger than even the Uchiha one on one. If they hadn't had the Aburame to drain off his chakra, who knows how it would've ended. As it was, they managed to disable the kid, stop Zabuza, then take out Gato himself and a small army of hired bandits to insure the village was safe."

"Turned out Haku, the ice user, and Sasuke had already met before their show down at the bridge, without Sasuke knowing who the other was, and they'd hit it off. Since Haku found out Gato was planning on betraying them anyway, and his Master was dead, the kid had no idea what to do."

"Enter the Uchiha?" Iruka asked speculatively.

"Well, I don't know if they've gotten that far Iruka-kun," Anko giggled softly, "I'm not going to intrude onto their private time."

"... Funny," the man sighed before chuckling a bit, "Sasuke could use someone like that in his life. Hopefully it'll help balance him out more."

"Yeah, hopefully," Kurenai agreed before grinning softly, "You know, Kakashi is planning on entering his team into the Chuunin exams too."

"So's Asuma from what I hear," Anko added with a wicked grin.

"WHAT?!" Iruka's eyes widened, "Are they crazy!? Its too early for them!"

"But its not for Naruto?" Anko smirked back, "Or Hinata,or Ino?"

"Naruto?" Iruka rolled his eyes, "I've seen Naruto pushing Kakashi if he's worked up enough. Since he graduated the Academy, he's been pulling off B-Rank and A-Rank missions. With and without his team. He'll look after them," He paused a moment, before grinning, "Plus, I'm really curious what you three have done with the girls."

"Three?" Kurenai spoke up with a slight trace of amusement in her eyes.

"Yeah, you don't think Naruto hasn't been helping them as well?" Iruka grinned wickedly, "So what's this I hear about two jounin planning on trying to make a chuunin their secretary?"

Immediately the two women stiffened then stared at the man beneath them as Kurenai spoke up, "How'd you...."

"Well, admittedly I've let my combat skills slip," the man grinned quietly in response, "But, I'm stealth, tracking and infiltration skills are still nothing to be ashamed of," He chuckled a bit, "You have to remember, Naruto isn't the first ninja from Konoha that used his pranks to sharpen his skills."

"Nai-chan?" Anko spoke up softly, "I think we underestimated him."

"I think you're right Anko-chan," Kurenai nodded, "You know what this means then, yes?"

"Of course, Nai-chan," the woman nodded sagely, before her lips turned into a sadistic smirk, "It means that now, we're definitely going to have to get him up to jounin level."

"Indeed Anko-chan," the woman nodded with a satisfied grin of her own.

"I suppose I don't have a say in the matter?" Iruka responded with a slight twitch of his brow.

"You're in charge in the bedroom," Kurenai smirked back at the man, "If you want to take charge somewhere else, you've gotta earn it."

"So Iruka-kun," Anko leaned back, whispering against his ear, "You up to the challenge, or not?"

The man in question sighed softly before looking up at the ceiling, "The things I do for the women in my life..."

Said women, merely giggled in response, as the growing shiver of impending doom made its way coiling along his spine.

-Days later-

"So, we signed you brats up for the Chuunin exams," Anko grinned her wicked grin as she looked down at the three in front of her, "Better not disappoint us."

"Eh, is it that time already?" Naruto blinked a moment, before cocking his head to the side, "I thought we had a few more months to go."

"Nope," Kurenai responded with a smile, "Despite Iruka's protests, all the rookies are being given the chance to enter."

"... You're kidding right?" Ino said with a flat stare, "Team 8 is going to enter? Is Asuma crazy?"

"Hey, don't look at us," Anko shrugged slightly, "You three are ready, the rest of them, its up to their jounin instructors."

"You mean, lazy pervert and lazy bum?" Naruto asked, "Ugh, we're gonna end up pulling their asses out of the fire, I just know it."

"Think of it as extra training!" Anko just grinned at the three, "Kakashi's been bragging about his team, and how they pulled it together during their C-Rank turned A-Rank, along with getting a new bloodline for the village."

"Um," Hinata blinked a moment, "Kakashi pervert does realize that the person said bloodline belongs to is gay, along with his sharingan student, right?"

"He's probably choosing to ignore that little fact..." Naruto reached up, stroking his chin, "I suppose they could start fucking right in front of him and he'd finally get it through his skull."

"... I did NOT need that image Naruto-kun," Ino shivered slightly, "Sakura's the yaoi freak, I like my guys to like MY body, not another guy's."

"Eh," the blonde boy shrugged a bit before grinning, "So, what all the exam gonna be like?"

"We can't tell you that Naruto," Kurenai tsked lightly, "You know that."

"Aw, not even a hint?" the boy pouted softly before he would pause, suddenly grinning at the girls next to him before looking back at his teachers, "Is there gonna be a chance for us to practice our conversion techniques?"

"Hmm, there might be," Anko paused, stroking her chin lightly, "I take it you three have been waiting to have an actual subject to play with?"

"Well, not that it isn't fun 'converting' Ino-chan," Naruto responded with a shrug, "But, she honestly gives in, waaaaaaay too quickly."

"Hey!" Ino grumbled a bit at the statement while Hinata giggled,"I last longer than Hinata-chan does!"

"Yeah, but I also have an unfair advantage there," Naruto grinned, "I've had years to learn Hinata-chan's weak spots."

"And he exploits them every time," Hinata pouted softly as she looked at her male teammate, "Once he gets me tied up, I'm as good as gone."

"How about if I get you tied up Hinata-chan?" Ino grinned wickedly as she leaned in, casually whispering against the Hyuga's ear.

"Oh, that's easy," Hinata smiled in return, before suddenly she pulled the girl close, her fingers casually curling up, brushing against her teammate's neck before gripping it as she pulled her lips to the girl's ear, "I'd just get free... and make sure I got to hear that oh so sweet sound you make just as you break..."

As Ino flushed crimson and gave off a soft little whimper, Anko turned to Kurenai and grinned broadly, "So, Nai-chan, how'd we end up so lucky? An amazing team and floor show all in one."

"You forgot learning all kinds of nifty little tricks for yourselves," Naruto added casually as he half watched Hinata run her hands down Ino's body, causing the blonde girl to weakly fall to her knees with a soft moan, "Oh, by the way... Heard you two are plotting to get Iruka-sensei up to jounin."

"Oh, it made its way through the grapevine already?" Kurenai arched a brow at that.

"Nope, I just heard it directly from him," Naruto smirked in response while Ino rested her panting head against Hinata's stomach, the dark haired girl running her fingers through her hair, "We still get ramen together pretty regularly."

"That's a good girl, Ino-chan," Hinata was casually speaking down to the panting blonde girl, "Yes, little Ino-kitty remembers her place, doesn't she?"

"Bah, so much for keeping it a secret," Anko grumbled, as she forced herself not to smirk as she watched Hinata toy with her teammate so easily, "What do you think, Naruto?"

"Kitty's a goood girl for Puppy!" Ino whimpered softly, nuzzling back into Hinata, "Kitty misses her collar though!"

"I think... That those two are really, really trying to distract me," Naruto grunted as he jerked his thumb towards his teammates, "And doing a damned good job of it."

"Well, in regards to Iruka," Kurenai responded with a soft smile was she chuckled a bit at the girls' game.

"Well if Kitty wants her collar, she's going to have to help Puppy convince Cuddles to get it," Hinata almost purred as she ran her fingers through Ino's hair.

"In regards to Iruka," Naruto paused before looking at the women, "I think I'm going to definitely give him lessons on how to keep teasing you two for days without letting you get off, for giving me that damned codename."

"Aww, but Cuddles!" Anko grinned wickedly, "You know you love it!"

"... you do realize I know an orgasm denial seal, right?" Naruto said casually as he merely LOOKED at the woman present.

Instantly all four women froze, and Naruto found himself faced with four teary puppy dog eyed looks directed onto him. Steeling himself against their grand assault, he spoke through gritted teeth, standing proud in defiance, "And that's more likely to make me use it than not."

"Bah," Anko turned off the quivering gaze and shrugged slightly, "You'll never get a seal like that on me!"

Kurenai suddenly froze then, and turned her attention onto her friend, "Anko-chan..."

"Yes?"

"Think about what you just said, VERY carefully," the woman cautioned.

"What about what I just said?" Anko blinked a moment.

"You just challenged NARUTO, to put a seal on you that will drive you up the wall in frustration," Kurenai responded slowly.

"Its true, its true," Naruto nodded as he would stretch out, popping his back in a slow motion, "Want a head start Anko-chan?"

"... Um, can we talk this over?" Anko paused, noticing the feral looks the girls were giving her, the absolutely murderous gazes didn't sit expecially well with her.

"Nope!" the boy chimed happily.

"... Great," the woman sighed before looking at the two girls, "And why're you two glaring at me?"

"Its relatively easy to figure out," Ino started.

"If he uses it successfully on you," Hinata continued, "How long do you think it'll be before he punishes US with it?"

"... I'm screwed, aren't I Nai-chan?" Anko almost whimpered as she looked at her friend.

"... I'd start running if I was you," Kurenai agreed.

"Right," Anko immediately vanished in a swirl of leaves, followed swiftly by the genin of Team 10.

"Its going to be one of those weeks," Kurenai chuckled just a bit as she shook her head, leisurely making her way towards the Hokage's Tower.

-That Night, Kakashi's Apartment-

The silver haired jounin lazily pushed his way into his home, his eye half closed tiredly. He made little notice of his apartment, slipping past the various traps and seals he'd lain in place with practiced ease before pushing his way into his bedroom. As he flipped on the light, he froze in shock, his single eye widening comically as he took in the sight before him.

Plastered all over the walls, on the ceiling, on the bed, on the floor, were a multitude of pictures. Their subject? A rather heavy make out session between Sasuke and Haku, with less than full clothing.

The broken scream that rippled through the air was filled with outrage and displeasure, followed by a more sedately muffled, "Wow, didn't realize they were that flexible," before the scream continued.

-End notes: I really can't help it, I like Kakashi, I really do... But he makes such a wonderful target.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Author's notes- Merrrrrr Been a bit, couldn't write on this because I didn't have the inspiration. Poor Hinata in canon.

Also, those of you looking for me to write explicit scenes... Look elsewhere, especially those of you wanting me to write ones for Naruto, Ino and Hinata. I'm not writing out 13 year olds doing that.

-Fic begins now-

-The streets of Konoha-

"Ha!" a grinning Konohamaru laughed as he raced through the streets, casting a grin back over his shoulder, "You'll never catch me Hanabi-chan!"

The boy immediately had to duck a frightfully croaking frog launched from behind as Hanabi Hyuga chased after him, her face somewhere between delighted and furious, "Ooooh! Just you wait Sarutobi!"

"They look like they're having fun," Naruto commented with a chuckle as he watched from the rooftops overhead, "The frogs were a nice touch I think."

"Eww," Ino grumbled softly as she shivered just a bit, "But they're so gross!"

"You'll get in a mud fight, but you protest a simple frog?" Naruto's voice teased softly back at the girl as his sparkling blue eyes followed Hanabi and Konohamaru.

"That's totally different!" she immediately protested, "That's fun, sexy dirty! He put frogs down her shirt!"

"It worked though," Hinata spoke up, smiling softly as she watched the chase below, "This is one of the first times I've seen Hanabi-chan actually gotten, instead of giggling about it in a while."

"True enough," Ino agreed with a nod, before smirking softly as she pointed down into the street, "He even got Forehead into it."

Below, they could see the irate, pink haired kunoichi racing after the pair. Her reddened face still glistening from frog slime as she wove amongst the civilians, bumbling through them this way and that as she screeched out, "Get back here! I'm going to get you both for this!"

Chuckling Team 10 watched the pursuit unfold before them. As luck would have it, more often than not, Sakura found herself caught by the various trick and traps tossed back and forth between the young ninjas in training. Paint spattered her normally well kept uniform, confetti and egg shells clung to the fabric as she bit back a strangled scream of angry frustration. Every time she came close to catching up, somehow they'd make her stumble, some how they'd slow her down.

"AAAAARGH!" the girl almost screamed angrily as she ran a bit harder, a bit faster towards them, "WHEN I get my hands on you two...!"

"Hahaha!" Konohamaru looked over his shoulder, almost giggling his laughter out, before suddenly he found himself colliding into another body with a fleshy thud, "OOOF!"

"Hey! You damned brat, watch whe-!" clad in all black, the figure the boy had just run into wore an expression of anger on his painted face, before suddenly the secondary impact of Hanabi thudded into him just behind Konohamaru, throwing the off balance figure to the ground, "DAMMIT!"

"Urgh," the spiky haired boy groaned softly, looking down at the older boy beneath him sheepishly, "Eheh... Sorry about that..."

"Whoopsie!" Hanabi added with a giggle, "I think we need to remember to pay more attention Kon-kun."

"GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT!" the older boy, almost screamed as he shoved the amused academy students off of him, reaching back towards the bandaged covered pack on his back, "I outta..."

"Don't, we don't need the trouble," a blonde haired girl, wearing a white battle dress and fishnets spoke up next to the other unknown figure, a massive fan strapped to her back.

"That HURT you little midgets!" standing up the dark covered boy snarled softly as he grabbed hold of Konohamaru, lifting him angrily into the air.

"Hey I said I was sorry!" Konohamaru spoke up.

"H-hey!" Sakura hesitantly spoke up, "No need to get violent here! It was just a mistake!"

"Bah," the boy snorted as he glared back at Sakura, "Like I'm going to listen to some stupid Leaf Genin."

As his fist cocked back, the blonde girl sighed, her four, spiky pony tails shaking slightly, "I want no part of this..."

Just as the dark clothed boy started to throw his fist at Konohamaru's face, a number of things happened. The arm holding the younger boy, was struck, suddenly, by the sharp point of a throwing needle, while the one throwing the punch, found itself struck by a small rock. Before the dark clothed boy could fully register what'd just happened, his face found itself struck by the thick impact of a knot tipped rope, and the crinkling of paper. As the surprised boy numbly dropped Konohamaru, the paper tag attached to the boy's cheek, suddenly exploded in a burst of bright pink paint.

"You know, you really should remember to play nice when you're in a new hidden Village," the words came coldly from a short distance away, as two pair of cold black eyes bore down on the boy and the girl.

Seated in a nearby tree Sasuke was lightly tossing another stone in his hand as he lounged back against the trunk. Next to him, Haku daintily held another needle in his slender fingers, a brow silently arched at the pair as he watched the boy shriek in outrage. With a detached annoyance, they watched, waiting carefully in case the two on the ground made a move.

"Not to mention," Naruto's voice rang out, as he and his teammates silently fell to the ground in front of the pair, "Its generally considered rather stupid to start attacking civilians in front of a village's nin."

"Especially," the frosty tone of Hinata spoke up, her pale eyes glinting harshly as she locked her gaze on the boy, "The daughter of a Clan Head, and the grandson of the village's Kage."

"So," Ino yawned, stretching slightly as she gave the two a lazy look, "We really should take you down to the ANBU Interrogation unit."

"Dammit, Kankuro," the girl grumbled softly as she glared at the boy, "You just had to go be an idiot, didn't you?"

"God dammit, which one of you fuckers did this to my eyes!?" he snarled, darkly, his eyes shit as he tried to wipe the paint away, "When I get my hands on you..."

"Your friend doesn't know when to shut up, does he?" Ino casually chuckled as she watched the boy twitch, her voice directed towards the other blonde girl, casually running her eyes up and down along her frame, "Hmmm... Though, I think we'd have more fun coming up with ways to keep you quiet than him."

As the foreign blonde girl blushed furiously at the comment, Konohamaru scrambled over behind Naruto as Hanabi skipped up next to her sister and gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry about the trouble, sister."

"You should pay more attention to where you're going," Hinata chided lightly before offering her sister a faint smile as her gaze followed Ino's, "Mmm, probably Ino-chan, probably."

"Which one of you-?!" Kankuro's words were cut off, as suddenly he was struck by a squat object of black, dull rubber, smacking forcefully directly between his eyes, "What THE HELL!?"

"..." the blonde with Kankuro could only stare for a moment, her mouth agape in complete shock before she turned her disbelieving eyes onto Naruto, "...Was that...?"

"Best way I know of to shut up an asshole," the blue eyed genin responded with a lazy nod of his head.

"Naruto..." Sasuke could only stare ruefully down at the blonde boy, chuckling lightly as his eyes lingered on the projectile.

"What?" Naruto smirked slightly in response, "Not my fault its true."

"I'm going to kill you all!" Kankuro finally growled, his fingers reaching back for the bandaged package on his back.

"Kankuro, enough," a cold monotone rippled through the air from the a branch behind Sasuke and Haku, causing both to instantly swirl their gazes around, looking up in shocked surprise at the figure that had apparently snuck up behind them, "You're becoming an embarrassment to our village..."

"Ga-Gaara..." fear instantly flashed across Kankuro's gaze as he looked up at the dead green eyes of the red headed figure standing upside down on the tree branch, a giant stone gourd on his back, "They-they started it!"

"Becoming?" Naruto blinked a moment, looking from Kankuro to the figure on the tree, "I'm fairly certain he already hit that level when he decided a couple of civilians were picking a fight with him..."

"Though, the pink paint doesn't help his credibility any," Ino pointed out, "I mean, the purple face paint was bad enough."

"Hey!" Kankuro boy snarled angrily as he started to reach again for the pack at his back.

"So, I'm gonna guess that you two and pinky are here for the Chunin exams?" Naruto hazarded before glancing towards Sakura and Sasuke, "Oi, are you two signing up for it by the way?"

"Kakashi-sensei hasn't talked to us about it yet," Sasuke shrugged a bit, "Considering how things went in Wave though, probably."

"Asuma-sensei hasn't mentioned it either, so I'm not sure," Sakura admitted as her eyes flitted carefully towards Gaara, studying the impassive boy closely, "What about you guys?"

"You think Anko-sensei's giving us a choice?" Naruto laughed softly before shrugging a bit, "Oi, Gaara was it? You guys hungry?"

The red headed boy blinked his dull eyes a moment, canting his head lightly to the side, "Possibly."

"Wanna come get some lunch with us then?" a trench coat wearing blonde grinned up at the other boy, "You're pretty early for the exams, so you might as well learn a good place to get some food, right?"

Again the boy blinked those dulled eyes, before in a whirl of sand he was suddenly in front of Naruto, his arms crossed about his chest, studying the other boy closely before he spoke, "Why?"

"Eh?" the boy blinked slightly in response, before looking back at the boy in front of him, "Why what?"

"Why are you inviting us, me, with you?" there was an honest confusion in those almost lifeless orbs.

Naruto shrugged slightly, before grinning at Gaara, "Why not? You're new in town, stopped the asshole from forcing us to painfully make him back down, and in the process, saved us from having to drag him down to ANBU headquarters. Suna and Konoha are allies last I checked. You guys are from Suna, right?"

Kankuro and the Suna blonde both stared in fear and disbelief at the scene in front of them. The blonde boy was actually asking Gaara of all people to have lunch with him and his friends. Nervously the pair looked towards the youngest member of their team and shifted, waiting to see just what the boy would do.

"Yes," the red head made a slight inclination of his head, "We are from Suna."

"So, wanna come grab something to eat," Naruto paused a moment, before grinning again as he jerked his thumb back towards Kankuro, "Or would you rather just stand there and watch me throw buttplugs at the asshole until he shuts up?"

"Hey!" the pink painted sand nin protested as his blonde teammate snickered softly at his side.

"Your second offer is rather... intriguing," Gaara admitted.

"HEY!" the protest was louder this time as it echoed over the group.

"I'm curious to see if it works," the red head continued, his eyes shifting to send a cold glare in Kankuro's direction, "Normally, I have to threaten to kill him to shut him up."

"Urk!" painted nin quickly shut his mouth, staring at the slightly shorter boy with wide eyes.

Naruto shrugged slightly before looking towards the tree, "Hey Sasuke, Haku! You two lovebirds want to come with us?"

"Eh, what do you think Haku?" a lazy brow was arched as Sasuke looked at his boyfriend, "The amusement of two pinks at the table might be worth it."

"HEY!" Sakura growled softly, "Watch it Spanky!"

Carefully walking up to Ino, the blonde Suna nin spoke up quietly, "Is every nin in this village crazy?"

"Hmmm?" Ino blinked a bit before looking at the other blonde girl, shrugging softly and grinning, "Only the ones that you have to watch out for," she paused a moment, before leaning in, her voice husky as it whispered lightly just against her skin, "Because you never know when we might want... to play."

"Ino-chan!" Hinata giggled softly as she playfully swatted her teammate's rear, "Stop that! We don't want to scare them off."

As the sand girl blushed brightly, her dark eyes widening along with her mouth, Ino just smiled back at Hinata, "Mmm, nah," she reached up then, trailing a finger along the foreign nin's jaw, "I think, its more likely to get them to follow.

As Ino threw a wink at the other blonde girl, Hinata linked her arm with the girl and giggled again as she tugged her over towards their third teammate, "Come on you flirt, we don't want to let Naruto-kun get away, do we?"

"Temari," Gaara spoke up, his eyes flickering towards his blonde teammate, "I am going to... have lunch with them."

Blushing brightly, the blonde girl nodded numbly as she began to walk towards the group. The third member of the team stared in shock, uncertainty written on his face. Looking from Gaara, to Temari, to the blonde boy grinning happily, all he could do, was twitch slightly.

"When did the world go insane?" Kankuro twitched again, his eyes flickering after the group before down to gleaming rubber object on the ground in front of him, "And what kind of fucked up ninja goes around carrying butt plugs to throw at people?!"

Reluctantly he would shift his bundle slightly about his shoulders. Grumbling, he tried unsuccessfully to rub the pink paint off of his face. Quickly finding it a rather futile gesture, he sighed once more then began to follow after the congregating group.

"Oh, Konohamaru? Hanabi?" Naruto spoke up with a grin, "Why don't you too get back to your game, we'll catch up with you later."

"All right!" the pair nodded carefully before they both quickly took off, this time with Hanabi in the lead being chased by the grinning boy.

Unseen in the tree vacated by Sasuke and Haku, at trio of figures watched on from the shadows.

"That... was odd," a female voice spoke up.

"Heh, what losers," another voice, male this time added, "One of them using a butt plug as a weapon, the other getting hit by it."

"Perhaps, but..." a third voice, male as well, spoke up, slightly muffled, "Something seems... Off about it."

"It doesn't matter," the first male dismissed, "In the end, we'll fulfill Orochimaru-sama's orders and they'll die."

"Something doesn't seem right about the blonde and the girls he's with," the female voice insisted.

"Agreed," the muffled male voice spoke up, "But, it matters little, we'll deal with them all the same."

-Down the Streets of Konoha-

"So, what's Suna like?" Naruto asked cheerfully as he stuck his hands in his jacket's pockets, his blue eyes twinkling towards Gaara.

"Hot, dry," the red headed boy managed a neutral shrug, "Desert."

"Ah, haven't seen the desert yet," he responded easily enough, "Most of the away missions we've received have been to bandit camps."

"I see," the boy responded dully, "I will admit... all these plants, are a bit... Strange for myself."

"Yea, I can imagine," the boy nodded, before grinning back, "They with pranks a lot though."

"Pranks?" Gaara raised his brow at the blonde boy, "Such things are... discouraged in our village."

"Huh, never really understood why people think they're such a waste of time," Naruto chuckled softly, "I mean, it really is great training... not to mention how it helps keep the rest of the village alert."

As Gaara canted his head slightly in consideration, a soft, angry voice could be heard snapping words in their direction, "Damned demon brat..."

Instantly both boy's gazes turned, locking onto an irate looking woman directing her glare towards Naruto. Shaking his head, the boy just shrugged slightly, intent upon ignoring the woman, before he noticed her words had immediately garnered his companion's attention too. There was a pulse in the air, a cold, bloodthirsty darkness that suddenly emanated from the red head, as particles of sand began to slowly float through the air in the woman's direction.

He wasn't sure what Gaara was going to do, but the growing look of murder on the boy's face left him certain he needed to act. Reaching out, he quickly put his hand on Gaara's shoulder as he spoke quietly, "Easy... She was talking about me, not you."

Behind him, a pair of gasps were ignored as Naruto looked at Gaara's widening eyes, a brief flicker of disbelief as he looked at the hand actually touching him. The sand froze in its coiling rise, as the boy flicked his gaze from Naruto to the woman. Finally, slowly, carefully it fell again, as Gaara managed a slow nod, before they heard Temari's voice speak up behind them.

"You touched him... you actually managed to touch him!" the blonde girl could only stare in open mouthed shock.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked a moment, looking from his hand on Gaara's shoulder then back to the girl herself, giving her an odd look, "So?"

"My... sister is referring to the fact that my sand hasn't allowed anyone to touch me," Gaara paused a moment, a wariness glinting in his eyes, "Not since my uncle."

"Ok..." the boy blinked a bit as he pulled his hand back, "So, should I not touch you then?"

"The last person who was able to touch me, ended up trying to kill me," he spoke ever so softly as he watched Naruto, a cold wariness in his eyes.

"Wait, you just said your..." the words filtered through the boys mind, before comprehension flashed in those blue orbs, "Your uncle tried to....?"

"Yes," cold, flat, and dead was the simple response.

Naruto paused for a moment, uncertainty in his eyes as he studied the boy in front of him, searching for the words, before carefully speaking, "Because... of something inside of you?"

For a moment, the boy hesitated, before carefully he nodded, his eyes flickering towards the rest of the group. Catching his gaze, Naruto nodded in turn, before speaking very quietly "Yeah... Never fun having something like that inside of you... We can talk later... when they're less people around, ya know?"

A wary hesitance flashed across his eyes, before carefully the red head nodded, "Very well."

"So, blonde girl's your sister?" he remarked casually as he arched a brow.

"Yes," came the simple response.

"Huh," the boy blinked a bit, "Generally sisters aren't that scared of their brothers."

"And from what I understand, Uncles don't usually try to kill their nephews," the red head responded dully.

"From what I hear," the boy nodded in a sad bit of agreement, "I wouldn't know, my whole family's been dead since I was born from what I hear."

"From what you hear?" Gaara looked back at the boy.

"Well, everyone that was their friend tells me they're dead," Naruto spoke up softly, "And bits and pieces about them. Small little bits. Don't even know their names."

"I... see," again the voice was neutral as Gaara watched the melancholy smile on the boy's face.

"So, is the asshole your brother by any chance?" Naruto spoke up, casually as he jerked his thumb back towards Kankuro.

"Yes," Gaara nodded in agreement, "Despite his... penchant for make-up."

"Hey!" an outraged voice spoke up behind them.

"And the dolls," Gaara continued, as if he'd never heard the voice calling out, "He spends most of his time, playing with his dolls."

"THEY'RE PUPPETS!"

"Really now...?" Naruto blinked before looking back at the fuming Kankuro, "All those splinters must be painful."

"I try not to think about it," Gaara agreed with a nod, "The mental image is rather... disturbing."

"I don't even want to imagine," Naruto shivered slightly.

"I DO NOT DO THAT WITH MY PUPPETS!!!!"

"He even sews his own dresses for them," Gaara confided in the blonde boy, "Its sad really, he carries around a sewing set wherever he goes..."

"ITS CALLED BEING PREPARED!"

"Geez," Naruto shook his head in turn, ignoring the angry screams behind them, "Please tell me he doesn't try to make them anatomically correct."

"I've never been brave enough to find out," Gaara responded, "After I caught him going through my sister's room, I simply decided I didn't want to know."

"He did WHAT?!" this time the screaming voice had a decidedly female cast to it, the fury in it almost palpable.

"I think he was trying to find her... special friend," Gaara continued, "He was rifling through her... private drawer, and I think he took some of her make up as well."

"I was out of my warpaint!" the male voice spoke up, a bit quieter this time before a loud crash was heard as a giant fan was slammed against the boy's head.

"Yeesh," Naruto shook his head, "Its scary how desperate and messed up some guys can get."

"Indeed," the response came quietly before he shifted slightly, the dull emerald eyes shifting over his shoulder, glancing towards where Sakura was staring at him before turning his eyes back towards Naruto, "Why is the pink haired one staring at me?"

"The girl, or your girly brother?" the blonde asked curiously, "Because, quite frankly, I don't want to even begin pondering why he would be staring at you."

"The girl," Gaara responded quickly, a shudder running through his body, "I as well would hate to imagine that."

"Haruno?" Naruto paused, looking over his shoulder to a suddenly blushing Sakura who quickly turned her head, looking away, "Huh, well, I could be wrong... so I should get a professional opinion on it."

"Professional?" Gaara asked, a touch of curiosity rising in his voice.

"Yup," the blue eyed boy grinned back, "Hey, Hinata-chan, Ino-chan, why's Sakura staring at Gaara here?"

"Hmmm," Ino grinned wickedly as she looked at her friend, catching her chin with her fingers, "Well lets see, staring quietly, profuse blushing, slight dilation of the eyes. I think I've seen this a case like this before, sound familiar Hinata-chan?"

The pale eyed girl blushed herself before giggling softly as she nodded, "All she needs is to start looking down and pushing her fingers together as she stutters when she tries to talk to him, Ino-chan."

"That's what I thought," the blonde girl nodded sagely as she grinned back at Naruto, "Yes, we've definitely come to a conclusion about what she's suffering from, Naruto-kun."

"Don't you dare Ino-pig!" Sakura practically shrieked out, her eyes blazing as she cracked her knuckles angrily.

"Ah," Naruto grinned wickedly, "So she's suffering from a case of Hinata-chan-itis, and crushing on Gaara here?"

"You said it, not me!" Ino giggled as her eyes twinkled.

"INOOOOOOOO!" Sakura whined unhappily.

"She's rather... vocal, isn't she," Gaara spoke up neutrally.

"Very much so," Naruto agreed, "Very passionate, energetic, but sadly, a bit too violent for my particular tastes."

"Violent?" Gaara perked slightly at that admission.

"Mhm," the boy nodded in agreement, "Though, I think its mainly because she's really, quite frustrated."

"Violence does help alleviate frustrations," Gaara quickly agreed, a slight smile curling on his lips.

"Yes, true..." Naruto paused a moment, noting the slight blood lust growing in the boy's eyes, "But there are actually some far more... enjoyable ways."

"More enjoyable than violence?" Gaara blinked at that, trying to wrap his head about the concept.

"Yes, much more enjoyable," Naruto agreed with a sage nod, before turning his head back, waggling his brows lecherously towards his teammates, "Wouldn't you agree Hinata-chan, Ino-chan?"

Both girls blushed for a moment before giving an enthusiastic nod of their heads, "Much!"

"...Are they always like this?" Temari spoke up, as she looked over at Sasuke and Haku.

"Pretty much," Sasuke shrugged slightly, "Naruto's never been a very, inhibited guy."

"From what little I've seen of him," Haku spoke up quietly, "Sasuke-kun's quite correct."

"They're perverts," Sakura spoke up flatly, a blush still covering her cheeks, "All three of them."

"You say that like its a bad thing," Temari responded without really thinking, before her words caught up with her and she blushed brightly.

"Joy, another one," the pink haired girl grumbled softly before sighing, "As if those three weren't bad enough with Spanky and his boy toy here."

"Am I ever going to live that down?" Sasuke grumbled as Haku smiled softly at his side.

"No," the Uchiha's boyfriend responded, "I don't think you will, Spanky."

"Hush, boy toy," Sasuke responded as he would nudge the effeminate boy lightly.

"Mmm, I don't know, going to make me?" there was a saucy wink before Haku almost giggled back at his boyfriend, his dark eyes twinkling playfully.

"Ok, seriously," Kankuro spoke up finally, still making certain to keep a safe distance between himself and his sister as he rubbed his head, "What's wrong with this village?!"

"We know how to have a good time?"Ino spoke up as she waggled her brows back at the others, "I mean, seriously," she grinned wickedly at the boy, "Just because we're make up stealing doll fetishists like you..."

"They aren't dolls!" Kankuro almost screamed as he crossed his arms about his chest before adding almost in after thought, "And I don't have a fetish."

"Whatever you say," Ino almost giggled as she looped her arm in Temari's and smirked just a bit, "Come on, lets get you away from the bad influences," she paused before leaning in, whispering into the other blonde girl's ear, "And get you over to the... naughty ones."

Temari blushed furiously, trying to stutter out some kind response, but unable to manage anything intelligible. Before she knew it, she could feel her other arm being captured as Hinata slipped to her other side. Caught between Naruto's two teammates Temari could only blush even brighter as she caught the predatory grins on the two younger girls' faces.

"Now really Ino-chan," Hinata smiled her sweet, feral little smile, "You wouldn't be trying to scare the poor girl off, now would you? That would just be," she leaned in, her lips almost brushing against Temari's ear, "So, disappointing."

"Oh, no Hinata-chan," Ino grinned back, her voice slipping down into a throaty pulse of breath as it caressed against Temari's skin, "We most certainly, wouldn't want to... scare her."

"Your friends seem to have taken an interest in my sister," Gaara observed quietly, before he turned his head back towards Naruto, "I don't recall her looking this flustered since Kankuro caught her stealing his magazines."

"I-I was getting him back for stealing my makeup!" Temari spoke up in protest.

"She was apparently most upset to be caught," Gaara nodded simply, "She was quite red in the face as she kept shifting her body, rubbing her legs together. It was most curious, I don't recall being caught getting him back ever making her breath so hard before..."

"I just wish she'd quit stealing my copies of the Ninja Hotties bondage issues!" Kankuro spoke up with a grumble, "Do you know how hard it is to trick a shop keeper in Suna with a do-er... puppet?"

"She does seem quite adamant about keeping those specific issues away from him," Gaara agreed, "I think she thinks they'll make him an even greater deviant than he already is."

"HEY!"

Naruto looked at Gaara oddly for a long, long moment, as if debating something as he reached up, cupping his chin casually in his hand, "Huh, sounds like she's a good sister, trying to keep her out of control brother from causing too much trouble."

"Indeed," the red haired boy agreed, "Most noble, being willing to take that deviancy as her own instead of allowing our brother to fall into it."

Temari let out a strangled sound as her blush only increased in volume while Ino eyed the girl next to her with a grin, "Ooooh, really now? Do we need to ask Naruto-kun to break out the ropes and cuffs?"

"Eep!" Temari's eyes widened visibly as she shivered between the two girls, goggling at Ino.

"Well, we don't have to limit it to just ropes and cuffs, Ino-chan," Hinata spoke up evenly, "There are all sorts of other toys that we can have all that much more fun with."

"Oh, so true Hinata-chan," Ino almost giggled back, her eyes shining as she quickly nodded her head, "What do you think Temari-chan?"

"I, um, er...eep!" the dark eyed blonde only managed a few stuttering syllables while she blushed furiously, but made no attempt to free herself from the girls' grips.

"I think your sister's in for an interesting time," Naruto spoke up casually, carefully examining his finger nails.

"I suppose so," Gaara admitted, "The kind of thing you were talking about, the one that's better than violence?"

"Knowing my girls?" Naruto responded casually, "Most likely."

"I see," the red head nodded slowly before fixing his flat gaze into Kankuro, "Then perhaps I should have a... Talk with my brother about spreading his, deviance."

Kankuro's eyes widened as he began to take a step back, a slow whimpering escaping his lips before Naruto began to chuckle softly, "You really enjoy messing with their heads, don't you?"

Gaara blinked a moment before turning his head towards Naruto, leaning his head lightly to the side as he did so, "I'm not sure just what you're refering to."

"Right," the blue eyed, blonde boy merely chuckled in response, those orbs glittering playfully, "Of course you aren't."

"I have merely been stating my observations at my siblings behavior," Gaara stoically insisted.

"In a most humiliatingly deadpan way," Naruto agreed.

"Merely a side bene-..." Gaara began before quickly snapping his mouth shut, his eyes widening slightly, "I mean I have no idea to what you refer."

"Exactly," a chuckle passed his lips before Naruto would casually make a gesture towards the restaurant, "Come on, lets go inside before your brother and sister boil themselves."

"Agreed," it could have been a simple trick of the light, but, Naruto could have sworn he saw a slight blush appear on Gaara's face as he responded in his usual stoic manner.

As the sand trio set the packs their carried on their backs against the booth, the Konoha Ninja adjusted themselves, leaving Gaara to sit with Naruto on one side, and a blushing Sakura on the other. Temari was quickly captured as Hinata pulled her into the booth while she took her seat next to Naruto, with Ino sealing her in place on the other side. Next to the Yamanaka blonde, Haku and Sasuke took their place, leaving Kankuro to bring up the end with an annoyed grumble.

"How come I'm the only one of us that doesn't get to sit next to a cute girl?" pink splattered Suna nin grumbled.

"Because you're the only one here who has a doll and make up fetish," Gaara responded easily, "And I wouldn't want to expose these lovely girls to anymore of your deviancy than they already have been," he paused a moment before gesturing towards Temari, "Look at what it did to our sister after all."

"I don't see her complaining about it," Gaara's older brother grumbled pointedly.

"Heh, I don't think my girls are complaining," Naruto smirked a bit as he turned his head slightly to where Ino was grinning lecherously as she whispered into Temari's ear, while Hinata watched with a look of amusement on her lips, "But that's not necessarily a good sign."

"Mmm, you wouldn't be saying bad things about us, now would you Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked with a sweet little smile on her face as her hand disappeared underneath the table.

"Oh no," Naruto agreed, "Never that. Just noting that its almost a given that the two of you are going to make it worse for her."

"And I'm sure," Ino murmured throatily, "Temari-chan's going to enjoy every bit of it..."

"Now remember you two," Naruto chided lightly, "Suna's an ally, you don't get to keep her."

"Aww," both of the Team 10 girls grumbled softly as they gave a mock glare in Naruto's direction.

"I swear, they're like little kids sometimes," Naruto chuckled softly as he rolled his eyes and leaned back, "Better watch out, they might try to keep her anyway."

"Perhaps a trade then?" Gaara asked idly, turning his head for a moment, looking at the pink haired girl at his side, "My violent sister, for the cute, violent kuniochi here?"

"Well, I'd say go for it," Naruto spoke up before chuckling a bit, "But for some reason, I don't think the Hokage would be as quick to jump on it."

Sakura blushed brightly as she struggled to come up with something to say, "Wha? Huh?! HEY!"

"But then again," the blonde boy continued, "She might need some proper training," he paused, before smiling innocently, "But, from what I hear, the fiery ones tend to make for great rides if tamed properly."

"NARUTO!" Sakura almost screamed as she lunged across Gaara's lap, her intent so completely focused on the blonde boy, she completely dismissed the red head from her mind.

"Careful, Sakura," he grinned, leaning back as he caught her wrists, twisting her body around as she gave off a soft eep of surprise before she found herself laying across Gaara's lap staring up at the boy, "You never know what kind of predicament you could find yourself in."

"Errr..." she blushed brightly as she looked up at the now blinking Gaara, "Hi..."

"Hello..." the boy responded carefully, shifting slightly as he could feel her warm body against his own, struggling against a blush that threatened to rise up against his cheeks, "Comfortable?"

"Eeep!" the girl blushed furiously as she stared back at the boy, her emerald eyes thrown wide as she froze in place, "I... Um... that is..."

"Yes, I think she finds it quite comfortable," Naruto interjected with a grin, his eyes twinkling wickedly, "But, since we were planning on eating, maybe she should be sitting in your lap, instead of laying across it. Sound good Sakura?"

"I.. Um.." Sakura continued to blush brightly before she slowly nodded, gently shifting around as she wrapped her arms tentatively against the crook of Gaara's neck before pulling herself up. Her face pressed against his skin, letting him feel the soft touch of her warm breath before she shifted around, looking up into his eyes for a quiet moment before blushing as she looked down, fidgeting lightly in his lap.

"There we go, now that everyone's..." Naruto paused a moment, before blinking idly as he looked to his side, making note of the giggling and moaning, "Well, I was going to say lets start ordering now that everyone's settled, but I can see that SOME of us are a bit too busy..."

As he coughed pointedly at that, causing Ino and Hinata to blush brightly as they broke away from the rather flustered Temari, as they chimed in unison, "Sorry, Naruto-kun!"

"I swear," he rolled his eyes a bit and smirked softly at the girls, "There's a time and a place for that you two. Toying with a girl right in public, when other people are planning to eat, is one thing. Its quite another when you're doing it in front of the girl's brothers!" he mock scowled at the two, "You're going to turn Kankuro into an even worse deviant than he already is."

As the two girls blushed brightly on either side of Temari, Gaara hesitantly brought his arm around Sakura's waist, much as he saw the girls doing to his sister, and Sasuke to Haku as he added, "Indeed, I would rather you not make things any more difficult with having to live with him than necessary."

"Hasn't that gotten old for you two yet?" Kankuro grumbled softly as he glared from his brother to Naruto.

"No," the pair responded in a frightening unison as Naruto grinned brightly.

"How about we start ordering our food, then we can continue with the abuse of our new friend here?" Sasuke spoke up, arching a brow casually as he lightly stroked his boyfriend's stomach.

"Sounds good to me!" Naruto grinned broadly before stretching out, "I'm starving."

"You're always starving Naruto-kun," Hinata spoke up with a soft giggle.

"Not my fault I burn through so much energy!" he grinned back, "Actually, from what I recall, a lot of it is because of you two."

As the rest of the table laughed and smiled at them, Ino and Hinata had the decency to blush. Smiling, the group settled in, placing their orders before indulging in a good bit of small talk. Hours later, the group finally finished, breaking up as various members split off and went their separate ways.

-The Hokage Monument-

Naruto cast a glance over towards Gaara as he sat at the edge of the cliff, they'd been there only a few moments, a silence between them as the cool night air began to wrap about their bodies. The girls had gone off on their own, or more accurately, Ino and Hinata had dragged Temari and Sakura off somewhere, to do something. He wasn't quite sure what. Sasuke and Haku had given a polite good bye, and vanished shortly after, leaving a suddenly rather nervous Kankuro to bid a hasty retreat from the pair.

So, they'd left themselves, Gaara silently following the blonde through the village streets, until they'd reached the path to the cliff. When they'd scaled it, still not speaking, Naruto had taken a comfortable seat on the ground, staring out over the village with a somber gaze. He simply waited, sensing the ill ease that Gaara felt, letting the boy choose when to speak.

"...Why are you so different from me?" Gaara spoke softly, "How can you... be like me?"

"Who've you got inside of you?" Naruto spoke up as he lay back, looking up at the boy with quiet blue eyes.

"Shukaku, the one tailed," the boy responded softly, "I can hear, my mother's voice, calling out for blood... to kill, to justify my existence with their blood. She comes to me in my sleep, eating at me, devouring me..."

"That's probably not your Mother you know," the blue eyes were watching him, quiet, and waiting.

"... I know," Gaara admitted quietly as he slowly slumped down, pulling his knees back up against his chest, "Its just... so easy to listen to it. If I kill, if I spill the blood, feel it blood... I'm not alone."

"How long have you known about it?" Naruto asked quietly, his words quiet, neutral.

"Since when my uncle tried to kill me," the boy answered quietly.

"... I found out about about mine the night I became a genin," Naruto's voice was quiet as he looked up at the stars, "I'd always wondered why they hated me, why they insulted me, or gave me those cold stares. Then one of my teachers told me, just before he tried to kill me."

"Did you kill him?" the question was so simple, so soft as it echoed past the young man's lips.

"No," Naruto shook his head quietly, "Another teacher, and a woman who became one of my Jounin Instructors showed up, to protect me. They didn't care about what was inside me. They saw me, not the fox."

Gaara nodded slowly, quietly as he processed the information the boy had told him, before the last bit slipped through his mind as he stared at the boy before him, "The Nine Tails?"

"Yeah," the boy nodded quietly, "The Fourth Hokage sealed it inside me when it attacked the village. Apparently according to old man Hokage, I was supposed to be seen as a hero, the living sacrifice that holds the beast at bay."

"The Fourth Kazekage," Gaara spoke up, his words growing thick with a tremor of emotion as he continued, "Sealed mine in me... Using my mother's life. To have a weapon," he paused a moment, before he stared up at the sky overhead, "And that's what he made me."

"That what you wanna be?"

"Its defined my existence as long as I can remember," there was a tinge of whispered regret in the red head's words as he spoke, "To fight, to destroy, to keep my existence from being erased."

"I protect what I care about," Naruto spoke up softly, "The people I care about. That and to have my teacher's style be recognized as being something worth practicing, instead of just being a joke like everyone thinks it is."

"You did throw a butt plug at my brother," Gaara observed neutrally.

"I'm a bondage ninja," Naruto responded with a shrug against the ground, "It comes with the style."

"I suppose so," the boy answered neutrally.

"Ever thought about choosing a different path?" Naruto asked after a moment's silence.

"...What do you mean?" there was a moment of genuine surprise in Gaara's words as he blinked at the boy in front of him.

"Well, sounds like you're living as what your father told you to be. Have you ever thought about choosing to be something else? Choosing to be what YOU want to be?"

"... I don't know," Gaara responded quietly, looking away as he wrapped his arms about his knees, "I don't know what I'd choose to be."

"Ya know, you could probably kill me," Naruto spoke up quietly, his eyes closed as he spoke.

That caused Gaara to blink suddenly, almost boggling at the calm manner in which the boy spoke, "What...?"

"You use the one tail's power right?" the blonde boy spoke up softly, "Defends you, lets you attack, makes you very, very dangerous?"

"Yes," he admitted quietly.

"I've never drawn on the nine tails," Naruto continued softly, "I don't have any special abilities like that," he paused a moment before admitting, "Well, other than healing fast, a lot a stamina, and more chakra than I know what to do with."

"And you... want me to kill you?" the Suna demon container blinked again, uncertain.

"Oh no," the leaf ninja chuckled softly as he shook his head, "I'm just saying you could. My style, the kind of ninja I choose to be... I probably wouldn't have any chance against you," he paused a moment, before looking up directly into Gaara's eyes, "But, you know what?"

"...what?" there was confusion, written all across the boy's face, not sure just where he was going with all this.

"If you threatened what I cared about, I'd do everything in my power to stop you, even if it meant my end," the words were soft as they left Naruto's lips, as they echoed up against Gaara's ears, causing the boy to stiffen suddenly at the proclamation.

"Why?" the words were stiff, wary as he almost glared down at the boy, trying furiously to hide the uncertain fear that rippled through him, "Why would you throw your life away like that then?"

"Because that's how I choose to prove my existence," Naruto responded quietly, looking up at the stars now, "Not because someone told me that's what I had to be. Not because its what people tell me is the right thing to do. Because I made the choice to," he took a moment, pausing before he gestured out towards the village below them, "They call me a monster, a demon. But, I choose to protect, not destroy. I will be who I choose to be."

"There are ninjas that would call you weak for that," Gaara spoke, his voice neutral as he looked down at the boy in front of him.

"Tell that to the Fourth Hokage," Naruto responded quietly, "He choose to protect what he loved, what he cared about. He put everything he had into it. He gave everything he had for it. And because of that, he almost single handedly ended the war Konoha and Iwa. Because of that, he defeated what's considered an unstoppable creature of destruction. Does that sound like someone who was weak to you?"

For a long moment, Gaara said nothing, looking out over the village below them with a solemn steady gaze, before quietly he spoke, "No, it doesn't."

"Then find out who you are," Naruto responded, "Choose who and what you are. But make sure its YOUR choice."

As the wind swept passed them, Gaara nodded once more, saying nothing as he lost himself in though and consideration. What choice was he going to make? What did he choose to be?

End Notes: Huh, wow the manga keeps jumping lately... Heh. Anyway, just so people know, there will NOT be lemon bits in this fic. If you're looking for porn, look else where, you won't find it here.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

The beginning of the end.

Author's Notes: Side story potential is great. But, I haven't really had it in me to do many of the evaluations, why I didn't write em. That, and its too much like filler.

Fic Begins now

-Academy-

"All right you brats, don't you dare disappoint us!" Anko grinned wickedly down her students, "I'm expecting a good showing from you three!"

"Not to mention," Kurenai spoke up, glancing at the trio as she smirked slightly, "We've got money riding on the three of you at least making it through the first two stages."

"Any hints on what they're gonna do?" Ino asked curiously, her eyes glittering mischievously.

"Fraid not kiddies," Anko grinned wickedly, "Don't let it mess with your heads though, you'll do just fine."

"Right," Naruto paused, and then rummaged inside of his coat, "Rubber chicken, check."

As the two girls stared at the boy in confusion, Anko burst into laughter, "Way to go brat, figured you'd get it!"

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata blinked at the bemused expression on the blonde boy's face, then stared openly where her instructor cackled.

"First exam has something to do with Ibiki," he grinned back, his eyes glittering with a wicked delight, "Knowing him, some kind of psychological warfare on us.

"Morino Ibiki?" Ino blinked, paling slightly, "Man, dad's told me some horror stories about him..."

"Oh, don't worry Ino-chan," Naruto was grinning now, his eyes alight with wicked delight, "Just leave Ibiki to me."

As the two girls and two women watched the boy rubbing his hands together, they couldn't help but take an unconscious step backwards. They knew that look well enough. Sharing a glance, all four couldn't suppress the shiver that ran down their spines.

"Poor Ibiki..." Anko noted, a slight giggle to her tone.

"Hmmm," Kurenai paused, lightly tapping her lips in though.

"What're you thinking Kurenai-sensei?" Hinata spoke up, eying the woman carefully.

"Oh, just wondering who we could sucker into making a bet about whether or not Naruto would crack Ibiki during the exam," she responded, a slightly amused little smile on her lips, "Unfortunately, I think our dear Naruto's performance reviews have greatly vaulted people's estimations of his abilities."

"Who, me?" Naruto offered up an almost angelic smile at the females in his life and casually crossed his hands behind his back, "Would I do something so... diabolical?"

"Yes," Hinata responded immediately

"Uh huh," Ino agreed.

"Definitely," Kurenai nodded.

"In a heart beat," Anko finished with a wicked grin plastered across her lips.

"Awww," the boy paused, before sniffling softly, "Damn, what'm I gonna do now that I'm found out?"

"Keep it up and let us enjoy the laughs?" Anko offered helpfully.

"Whip the ANBU into shape?" Kurenai countered with a smirk.

"Snuggle and cuddle your little puppy?" Hinata piped up hopefully.

"Do wicked and unmentionable things to your little kitten that leave her with a smile on her face that won't go away for weeks?" Ino finished, smiling sweetly as the other females blinked at her.

"Damn," Hinata immediately snapped her fingers, "Is it too late to for me to change my answer? I like Ino-chan's idea better."

Naruto gave a great, exaggerated sigh as he brought his hand up to his face, "Oh, the things I have to put up with... Being surrounded by the most beautiful ladies in Konoha, and having two of them wanting to do wicked and unmentionable things with me."

"To us," Ino corrected him with a grin, "Two of the most beautiful ladies in Konoha wanting you to do wicked and unmentionable things TO us."

"What Ino-chan said," Hinata nodded eagerly, a slightly lecherous grin blossoming hungrily across her face.

"You know," Kurenai spoke up, shifting her attention between her students and her partner, "I'm not sure if I should blame them for being a bad influence on us... Or you being a bad influence on all of us Anko-chan."

"Hey!" the woman in question immediately spoke up in protest, "That's all Naruto!"

"Eh," the solitary male in question shrugged a bit, "I'm pretty sure a good bit of it is from Hinata-chan and Ino-chan as well Anko-chan."

"Hey, that's right!" Anko immediately smiled triumphantly, "I mean, come on! They're both worse than I was at their age!"

"At their age," Kurenai spoke up, "You were apprenticed to You-Know-Who."

"Huh," Anko paused, stroking her chin a moment, "I guess that means I was even more fucked up in the head then?"

"No," Kurenai responded as she leaned over, pulling her partner into a loose hug, arms wrapped snug about her waist, "It means you got put through something out side of your control. You held together quite well after what you've been through."

"I guess," the other woman murmured softly, her eyes flickering towards the ground for a moment, "Anyway, come on, lets go with the brats and meet this Suna team they've been so interested in."

"Eh heh," Naruto shifted nervously for a moment, before giving his instructors a meaningful look, "Just so you two know... Gaara's... like me," he paused, stressing the last part meaningfully, "Only, he didn't get the chances I did."

Both instructors immediately stiffened as their eyes latched onto Naruto, a question boring into him as he carefully nodded his head back at to them. A nervousness shifted between the two, before they glanced into one another's eyes, then gave one more, meaningful glance to Naruto. When he nodded again, they immediately relaxed.

"Oh, I don't know," Ino spoke up, "He's no where near as cute as you, but, Sakura seems to like him," the girl paused a moment, before grinning lecherously, "Now his sister though... Rowr, kitty like."

"I'm starting to wonder if there's much kitty doesn't like," Hinata countered playfully her pale eyes twinkling brightly.

"Mmm... Gaara and Temari-chan's brother, the asshole?" Ino put forth thoughtfully, her finger tapping her lip.

"Ah," Hinata nodded sagely, "I'd forgotten about him. It took hours of work too. And now you just had to go and remind me."

"He is the kind of person one struggles to forget, isn't he?" Ino agreed, a wicked grin on her face, "Serves you right," she paused a moment before thinking, "Though, I'm starting to wonder if Kiba might be slightly worse."

"Oh? Why?" Hinata asked curiously as the group walked down the street, Naruto and the teachers listening to the two's conversation with looks of amusement on their faces.

"Well..." Ino paused a moment, shifting nervously as she continued to walk on, "This is just something I heard, but..."

"Well, it depends," Hinata suddenly cut her off, "Who'd you hear it from?"

"Shino," the blue eyed girl responded immediately, "And Hana..."

"Hana?" the Hyuga girl blinked in confusion.

"Kiba's sister," Kurenai supplied, "She's a Chunin."

"Ah..." Hinata nodded sagely, "She a reliable source?"

"She's a good kid, generally speaking," Anko shrugged a bit, grinning slightly, "She'd know the embarrassing details about her little brother though. Its what big sisters are for."

"Huh, I thought that was just oversexed instructors?" Naruto spoke up casually, his eyes dancing with mischief, "Or was that annoying blonde brats that have the dirt on said oversexed instructors? I can never remember."

"Unfortunately," Anko growled, "Its the annoying blonde brats one."

"Oh? Ah well," he grinned up at her magnanimously, "I get those confused so easily, being blonde and all."

"So, what was it you were saying about Kiba, Ino?" Hinata spoke up, breaking up the impending skirmish of the ongoing, friendly, war between Anko and Naruto.

"Welllll...." the blonde girl slowly drew out her response as she carefully looked around, "You know how the Inuzuka have really, really good noses?"

"So we've noticed," Anko drawled, "One of the reasons they're the Leaf's top trackers."

"Well, apparently he doesn't use it just for... Tracking," Ino whispered conspiratorially.

"Errr... what do you mean?" Hinata spoke up fearfully, her eyes, hoping that she wasn't right about what she thought.

"Ever noticed you were... missing panties?" Ino spoke up, nervously as she shifted slightly, "Especially at school?"

"... Please tell me you're joking, Ino-chan," Hinata spoke up, her eyes trembling.

"That would explain the looks that Hana gives her brother on occasion," Kurenai muttered slightly under her breath.

"Apparently, he really has a thing for you," Ino continued, before shuddering slightly, "And because of that... Now has a thing for me."

Naruto was caught in indecision. On one hand, a part of him was completely outraged at Kiba's rumored perversions involving his girls. On the other, if it hadn't been for that, he'd be laughing his ass off in the street.

"I... don't know how to react to this," Naruto finally admitted, "Its just... I can't decide if I want to kill him, or just... point and laugh at him."

Both his teammates stared back at him, anger beginning to flare in their eyes as he shrugged a bit before grinning at them, "Of course, doesn't mean he isn't going to pay for it of course."

"I was starting to worry there for a moment," Anko chuckled softly, "At least that you'd live to say that."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Naruto waved his hand dismissively before he would yawn a bit, smiling at the girls, "Forgive me?"

"Hmm, I don't know, what do you think Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up speculatively.

"I'm not sure Hinata-chan," the blonde responded, "I think maybe he might have more in common with Kiba than we thought."

"I suppose he might just," Hinata agreed, a sad note in her voice.

"Please, if I wanted your panties, why would I need to steal them?" Naruto asked with a casual waggle of his eyebrows, "I mean, seriously, I just have to hold up my hand and you'll give them over."

"Well," Ino responded, pondering aloud, "He does have a point."

"True," Hinata agreed, "That doesn't mean he doesn't have to make it up to us though."

"Hm, we're at the hotel," Naruto observed, "So I'm gonna just end this here. Forgive me, or no massages for a month."

"Awwwww," the two girls chorused as one, "That's not fair!"

"I'm the one in charge here," Naruto grinned back, "I don't have to play fair."

"Ah, how quickly the young learn," Anko sniffed softly as she leaned against Kurenai, "It seems only yesterday, I was using that line on our helpless little genin."

"Helpless?" Naruto and Kurenai spoke up in an amused unison.

"Well, maybe not helpless," the brown eyed woman conceded, "But you get the point."

"Uh huh," Naruto paused a moment, before smirking a bit, "Maybe we should give Kiba some of YOUR panties then? Like, all of them?"

"You wouldn't dare!" Anko almost shrieked in outrage.

"Um, Anko-sensei?" Hinata spoke up, "This is NARUTO you're talking to."

"Really, Anko-chan, how could you be so careless?" Kurenai chided her partner mildly, "Though, I do look forward to the... easy access," a slightly lecherous leer made its way onto the woman's normally aloof features.

"Eh, I'll let it slide this time," Naruto shrugged slightly before smirking just a bit as he paused a moment, looking at the hotel, "Mmm... you two ready?"

With a smirk on their faces, the two instructors nodded, and with a quick jutsu, their regular outfits were replaced with their Kakashi imitations. Glancing to one another, they both extended a hand to the boy simultaneously. With a slight roll of his eyes, Naruto gave a soft chuckle as he deposited a small book in each of those hands.

"The things I'll do for a laugh," Naruto grumbled as he felt a sudden chill running down his spine.

"Are those... the NEW releases?" Hinata spoke up, with a sudden reverence in her voice.

"And, why don't we have a copy?!" Ino added, her eyes gleaming hungrily as she stared at Naruto.

"Errr..." Naruto blinked at them before shrugging slightly, "Because we don't need the two of you giggling and drooling in the middle of the Chunin Exams?"

"I suppose I'll buy that," Ino admitted grudgingly, "For now."

"But... but..." Hinata spoke up, her eyes trembling slightly, "New release!"

"After the exam, Hinata-chan, after the exam," Naruto said soothingly, even as the perverted giggles began to bubble up from their instructors.

"But..." Hinata gave a pathetic little whimper, her wide pale eyes staring up pleadingly into Naruto's own blue orbs.

"Not gonna work," Naruto said firmly before he turned his attention towards behind the girl, "Hey Gaara."

"Hello, Naruto," the red headed boy gave a slight bow to the spiky haired blonde, "Hinata. Ino."

"Hey Gaara," Ino responded with a smile before grinning lasciviously as she caught sight of the boy's sister, "Hello, Temari-chan."

"Erm," the dark eyed blonde immediately bushed next to Gaara, shifting slightly as she glanced away slightly, "H-hello Ino... Hinata."

"Now, what did we tell you, Temari-chan?" Hinata spoke up, coming out of her semi funk as she slipped over, wrapping her arm through the girl's arm on one side, while Ino did the same on the other.

Nervously, Temari threw a glance behind her, towards the stone faced man towering behind her and her brothers, his face half covered by a cloth. As the man thinned his lips and tightened his eyes, almost growling his displeasure at the girl, suddenly felt an icy chill running down his back. Slowly, he turned his head away from the girl, to find two pair of cold eyes, latching onto him with a frighteningly similar glare. One pair a familiar dull green, the other however, a brilliant blue, that some seemed to fill with the same cold warning as the first.

Watching as her jounin instructor began to sweat nervously, Temari slowly relaxed as she felt the girls pressing to either side of her, "Ino-chan, Hinata-chan."

"Ya know, if she wasn't my sister, this would be so hot," Kankuro grumbled as he watched the three girls.

"Shut up, Doll Boy," four voices snapped out simultaneously.

"No respect... I get no respect I tell ya!" the boy muttered under his breath as he kicked against the ground and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I wonder why," Gaara deadpanned quietly, "Surely it wouldn't have anything to do with your doll fetish."

"Ya know.. I'm half afraid he might have a..." Naruto paused a moment, swallowing carefully as he looked at Gaara, "Temari doll hidden somewhere."

"Wh-wha-what?!" Kankuro immediately began to sweat, his eyes wild as they darted between Temari and Gaara, "Where did you... I mean of course I don't! I told you, that's just wrong!"

Temari stared at her brother, her lips pursing a moment, "Ya know... I wonder if Kankuro got more than just his looks from our father."

Blinking a moment, Gaara turned his back to the man standing behind them, "Is there something we should be aware of about our father, Baki? Other than his trying to kill me of course."

The tall man shifted nervously as he looked down at the penetrating gaze of the red-haired demon container and shifted slightly, "I, um... That's not the sort of thing I'd ever want to find out," he paused a moment, before casting his eye towards Kankuro for a moment, "Kankuro is worrisome enough as it is... I would prefer to NOT know its something from our Kazekage."

"No respect at all," Kankuro muttered beneath his breath, kicking his foot at the ground sullenly.

"So, I take it this is your jounin instructor?" Naruto offered casually as he looked up at the stony faced man.

"Yes, this is Baki," Gaara nodded simply, "One of our father's lackeys."

Baki himself twitched slightly at being described as such, though made no attempt at responding as he shifted his gaze up slightly, then blinked as he noticed the two women slouching behind the three Leaf genin. Both of them held up a book in their hands, reading lazily from one eye, their other covered by a slanted headband. Exempting the face masks pulled up to their noses, the pair were dressed like any other leaf jounin.

"Ah, well, everyone has to make ends meet someway," Naruto responded with a slight shrug, "Though, I don't imagine lackey is a very... rewarding one."

"Its not," Baki grumbled slightly before he realized what he'd said, "I mean, I'm not a lackey!"

"If you say so," Naruto shrugged a bit, smiling innocently at the man as he then gestured back towards his own instructors, "Those are Kurenai and Anko, our instructors."

"Yo," both raised their free hands, waving in unison without looking up from their books, before suddenly breaking into a simultaneous, perverted giggle.

"Don't mind them, they just got the new releases of the 'Sweet Silky Nights' series," Naruto grinned a bit, ignoring the sudden, burning glare Hinata gave him.

"Its out, already?" Temari, Kankuro, and surprisingly Baki all asked at once, before all eyes turned towards the stony faced man.

"What?" a slight blush broke across the man's face, "They're very well written!"

"You got that right," Temari muttered appreciatively.

"Technically they've got pre-releases," Naruto admitted with a slight grin, "But, it is always..." he paused a moment, glancing over at Kankuro, "Well, almost always, nice to meet people who appreciate my books."

"Wait," Baki froze his eye immediately latching onto the blonde boy, "You're telling me YOU'RE the author?!"

"What, how else do you think I ended up with the two prettiest genin in Konoha?" Naruto smirked a bit, his eyes waggling, "Not to mention, the being lucky enough to be instructed by the two hottest kunoichi?"

"Eh, its a good series but I prefer Ich-" Kankuro started before suddenly finding himself caught in a full body tackle by Ino as Hinata moved swiftly, disabling the boy's vocal cords and jaw.

"Do Not mention that series in front of Naruto-kun!" Ino hissed, "Are you trying to get killed?!"

"Figures," Naruto grumbled as he eyed Kankuro balefully, "You actually show something redeeming about yourself, then you go and pull that."

Baki considered for a moment. Inside, he was caught between his loyalty to his village, to his Kazekage, and his inner fan boy. A shinobi's life was dedicated to duty and his missions, but this was the author of his absolute favorite series! And if the invasion succeeded...

The man immediately paled, his eyes widening in realization. If the invasion was successful, and Konoha was wiped out, it would mean the end of Sweet Silky Nights! He couldn't let that happen, Kazekage be damned!

"Just when I think this village can't get any crazier..." Kankuro muttered under his breath, "I can't wait until we get back to Suna, right guys?"

The rest of the sand nin, merely gave the puppeteer a Look. From Gaara, it was to be expected, he'd made the Look almost into a technique on its own. From Temari, well it wasn't too terribly surprising, considering who her new 'friends' were. But, from Baki? That was a shocker.

"I do apologize for my student's foolishness, Naruto-sama," Baki spoke up respectfully as he gave them a bow, "I'm afraid... He's simply not quite right in the head. We've tried to get him some help, but he's the Kazekage's favorite. As such, he... overlooks some of the boy's more... glaring flaws."

"No respect at all," Kankuro muttered again, sulking as he crossed his arms about his chest.

"I'd offer you the boy's sister to make up for it, but..." the man gestured helplessly towards where Naruto's teammates has resumed their hushed talk with the dark eyed blonde, "It would seem she's already been... Caught."

"It happens," Naruto chuckled in response, "Those two, well, they like to play."

"My sister does not seem that adverse to their idea of play I've noticed," Gaara spoke up carefully, eying the trio of girls.

"Would you be adverse to Sakura doing that with you?" Naruto countered, a slight smirk on his lips.

"No, I can't say that I would," Gaara responed simply, nodding his head carefully before turning his attention back towards the girls, "Though, my sister is certainly far more... enthusiastic."

"Eh, not too surprising," Naruto shrugged a bit, grinning back at Gaara, "She's more expressive than you are."

"True," the red headed boy responded evenly, "I have noticed most are."

"All right you brats," Anko spoke up, a chuckle in her voice even though she never turned her eye away from her book, "Enough socializing, the Chunin Exams await."

"Yeah yeah," Naruto grinned back at his teacher, "Whatever you say, Anko-chan."

A smirk on his lips, the boy would lead the strange procession down the streets of Konoha, his blue eyes dancing merrily as he plotted just what he might do during the exam.

-The Academy-

"Hey, don't those two look like the chunin that're usually on duty at the gates?" Ino spoke up as they wandered down the steps, on their way to room 301.

"Yeah, probably," Naruto shrugged a bit, "Early eliminations or some such I'd guess..."

"If they can't see through such a ruse, then they're obviously not properly prepared," Gaara agreed with a nod, "Even Kankuro can see through such a ploy."

"No respect," the puppeteer grumbled again and sighed as he glared at Naruto, "This is all your fault."

"Its my fault you're a make up wearing, smut loving asshole who plays with dolls?" Naruto asked with an arched brow.

"No, its your fault that now everyone knows it," he grumbled back.

"Look at it this way," the blonde boy spoke up cheerfully, "The first step to recovery is being humiliated into changing by a complete and utter stranger who befriends your brother and who's teammates seduce your sister!"

"I thought it was admitting you have a problem?"

"Bah, that's the ones that don't have someone to drag them kicking and screaming into being a better person!" Naruto responded casually, "Don't you feel privileged?"

"Have I mentioned how much I utterly loathe you today?" the sand nin growled.

"Not yet, but, I'm sure you'll get around to it soon enough," Naruto grinned back at the boy, before speaking to the rest of the group, "Come on, lets get up to the third floor."

"I have noticed," Gaara spoke up as they walked, his arms crossed about his chest as was his custom, "You seem... quite eager for this exam."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Naruto shot back, grinning softly.

"Um, its the Chunin exam?" Kankuro spoke up.

"Ah, yes, but you see..." Naruto was rubbing his hands together, his eyes dancing wickedly, "I know who's in charge of the first part. And, ooooh will I be having fun."

As the blonde boy began to let loose a dark chuckle that to the Suna trio, was frighteningly familiar. Well, frightening to the elder two siblings. Gaara simply nodded to himself, taking it as another obvious similarity between the two of them.

"Man, I thought the rumors about you were just that," Kankuro stared at the blonde, a gleam of fearful respect beginning to shine in his eyes.

"Ooooh? Rumors?" Naruto smiled innocently, the light in his eyes a feral playfulness, "What rumors?"

"Various warnings about the blonde mad man and his..." Kankuro paused a moment, coughing into his hand, "Erm, girls..."

"I'll be taking a fully detailed list of any and all persons that referenced to My girls as anything less than flattering," Naruto spoke up, his voice suddenly flat as his eyes did a fair imitation of Gaara's own.

"And you will be giving them to him, brother," Gaara added, his voice a chilling match to the other demon container.

"Awwww," Ino spoke up, her eyes twinkling mischievously, "Isn't it nice when he gets all protective? Makes me feel all... Tingly inside."

"Mmm, very tingly," Hinata agreed with a wicked grin on his face, "Makes me want to start spreading them around."

"Focus girls," Naruto chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling, as they stepped into the waiting room, "Its game time remember?"

Around the room, various genin teams turned their attentions for a moment to the new arrivals. Cold hard glares were sent out, meant to cow and intimidate. The result, was less than what they expected.

"Bwahahaha," Naruto practically burst out laughing, leaning unconsciously against Gaara as he raised his hand and pointed to the room, "Aren't they so cute? Trying to look all intimidating and stuff."

"Indeed," the red head nodded back to his fellow demon container, "Most... impressive."

"Are you two trying to get us killed?" Kankuro hissed out, his eyes widening in a show of panic.

"What, they're just a bunch of genin," Naruto shrugged slightly, "I mean, hell, Gaara could probably take em all out on his own in a few seconds."

"If I was desiring to be... messy," Gaara agreed with a nod, "Though, the rumors about you, suggest that they'd wish I'd been the one to deal with them."

"Oh stop, you're making me blush!" Naruto laughed back, ignoring the growing irritation on the faces of the assembled genin.

"Meh," a new voice spoke up, "Do you have to be so troublesome Naruto?"

"Yes Shika, I do," Naruto grinned back at the lazy boy striding up with his teammates.

"Damned troublesome," the boy sighed, slouching over with a grunt.

"What can I say? Its a gift," Naruto smirked back, his eyes twinkling wickedly.

"Hey Gaara," a slightly blushing Sakura spoke up as she lightly broke away from her teammates and settled up against green eyed boy.

"Sakura," Gaara's own cheeks flushed slightly as he nodded to her, his lips twisting up slightly in a slight smile.

"Tsk, and apparently you spread your troublesomeness," Shikamaru grumbled again, eying the blonde boy then his female teammate.

"What can I say? I'm infectious," Naruto grinned back, "Just think, you're almost at the proper saturation point, soon you and Chouji will start acting troublesome just like us! Working hard, playing hard, settling up with cute girls..."

"Tsk, waaaaaay too troublesome," Shikamaru grunted slightly.

"Everyone's getting girls, Temari, even Gaara! Why can't I get a girl?" Kankuro grumbled slightly and shook his head.

"Eh, you should be thankful," Shikamaru countered as he lazily looked at the puppeteer, "They're too damned troublesome."

"But, you can DO things with them!" Kankuro countered, "Things that don't involve your own hands, lotion, tissues, magazines and toys."

"He's got a .... Wait," Chouji started to respond, before looking at Kankuro oddly, "Toys...?"

"He's a pervert," Gaara said simply as he hesitantly wrapped an arm about Sakura's waist, "You don't want to know."

"Mmm," Sakura nodded as she found herself resting her head against Gaara's shoulder, "But then again, Naruto's whole team are perverts. They're just... not as bad."

"Guilty as charged," Naruto admitted with a smirk as he lightly cast his eyes over to where his girls were giggling and teasing Temari in soft, whispered little voices that had the dark eyed blonde getting redder and redder with each passing moment.

"I think that my sister certainly isn't complaining about it," Gaara commented, as he slowly managed to relax against the contact of Sakura's body against his own.

"Yeah, but if they keep this up, I might be the one complaining," Naruto grumbling a bit as he gave a mock accusatory glare at Gaara, "Your sister's stealing my girls from me!"

"Hardly my fault if they have superior taste in blondes," Gaara countered in a straight, flat tone.

"Are you guys trying to get killed?" a new voice spoke up, as a somewhat angry looking leaf nin, wearing silver hair and glasses strode up to them, "Its bad enough all you rookies are involved this year, are you going out of your way to try and piss the rest of us off?"

"Hmmm," Naruto paused a moment, before glancing at Gaara, "I was, how about you Gaara?"

"The thought had occurred to me," the neutral voice responded, "I haven't had a chance to... relieve any stress lately. A killing some of the competition would be... enjoyable."

"Tsk tsk," Naruto chided lightly, "Remember, we talked about this Gaara. No slaughtering the sheep, at least not until we're at a stage where its perfectly reasonable to do so."

"They can hardly blame me for defending myself if someone else attacks me first," Gaara countered as Sakura could help but shake her head, giving him a slight elbow in the side.

"But then they might throw you out of the exam," the pink haired girl countered, "And that would mean all the less time we'd get to spend with one another."

The silver haired Leaf nin stared at the group incredulously as the three girls giggled and moaned softly to the side. Off to the side, Kankuro and Shikamaru were grumbling together about troublesome genin and a lack of respect, while Chouji munched on his chips, listening avidly. Naruto smirked back at Sakura, before nodding at Gaara.

"You know, she does have a point," Naruto agreed.

"Yes, I find myself..." Gaara paused a moment, considering, "Reluctant to take such a risk now."

"Still fun to get them pissed though," Naruto grinned back.

"Indeed," Gaara nodded back.

"Boys," Sakura sighed with a roll of her eyes.

"Are you all insane?" the unnamed ninja asked, his eyes widening behind his glasses.

"Its been mentioned to me before," Gaara admitted with a shrug.

"Been told that many a time," Naruto seconded.

"I hang out with these two," Sakura admitted, "What do you think?"

"Doesn't help that you like his lap either," Naruto snarked.

"True," Sakura blushed brightly as she glanced at Gaara, "He does have a very nice lap."

"Thank you," Gaara responded quietly, offering a slight smile to the girl.

A dawning realization suddenly crossed the silver haired boys' face, "You guys... aren't even from the same villages! You're a sand nin!"

"And Sakura and I aren't even on the same team," Naruto countered, "Who're you anyway?"

"Ah, Kabuto," the older boy responded, blinking again at the group, "This is... ninja from different villages aren't supposed to be so... friendly."

"Eh, we're allies, remember?" Naruto shrugged, almost missing the slight flicker in both Kabuto and Gaara's eyes, "No big."

"Ah, still, you shouldn't be drawing all this attention to yourselves, its not good," Kabuto countered.

"Uh... huh," Naruto looked at Kabuto oddly, "Are you really that ignorant?"

"Wh-what?!" Kabuto blinked, his eyes suddenly narrowing before he growled at the boy, "What did you just call me?"

"I didn't call you anything," Naruto countered, "I asked you a question, on if you were really that ignorant that you have no clue who I am."

"A really loud mouthed brat?" Kabuto offered up.

"Please," the blonde boy scoffed before flaring his coat dramatically as he posed, "I am Naruto Uzumaki! I am THE loud mouthed brat in Konoha. I've been pissing off Jounin and ANBU since I was a little kid, why would I be worried about pissing off a bunch of genin?"

"Eh, your delivery needs work, Naruto," Sakura critiqued lazily, "What do you think Gaara...-kun?"

"Indeed," the sand nin agreed, "Less than impressive compared to your usual flare."

"Hey!" Naruto grumbled slightly, "You think I'm use the good stuff for someone like him?"

"Oooookay," Kabuto spoke up, "I'm just going to go over that way, talk to some genin that have the brains to listen."

As he watched Kabuto walking away, Naruto frowned slightly, "There's something... not right about that guy."

"It is... troublesome how he didn't seem to recognize you," Shikamaru admitted, as he reentered the conversation, "I've seen him around, so I know he's been a genin for a while... But for him to not really have any clue about you, he'd have to be completely focused on something else. Yet, he doesn't seem the type, does he?"

"Look for the underneath, underneath," Naruto quoted as he would frown again, before shrugging once more, "So, Gaara... Anything I should know?"

"Yes," Gaara admitted, his face looking thoughtful.

"Wanna tell me what that would be?" the blonde boy continued.

"Indeed," Gaara answered.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Most likely."

"Do you know when you're going to tell me this?"

"Soon?" the red head offered with a shrug.

"How soon is soon?" Naruto pressed.

"Soon," Gaara shrugged back.

"Gaara, just tell me when you're going to tell me."

"Before the third stage of the exams?"

"That's a bit broad."

"Best I can offer right now."

"I suppose that'll do," Naruto admitted, "For now."

Gaara nodded back, before Sakura looked from one of them to the other, "You're both weird."

"True," the pair chorused.

"Tsk, too damned troublesome," Shikamaru sighed before looking around, "Anyone wanna play some shogi while we wait?"

"I'd say we don't really have time," Naruto responded dryly, "But, I know how fast you'd beat most of us here."

"I'd say he should try playing my sister," Gaara offered, "But..."

"Trust me, you don't want to pull the girls away from their fun," Naruto shivered slightly, "The pouting... dear lord, the pouting..."

"The pouting?" Gaara blinked slightly, "Not the pain?"

"Oh no," Naruto shook his head, "You'll only wish that you were in pain, that technique... the puppy dog eyes... its horrible I tell you, horrible."

"Hmm... It would seem Kabuto is finding himself in a bit of trouble," Gaara nodded his head towards where the silver haired genin was being assaulted by a trio of ninja wearing Sound headbands.

"Huh, interesting," Naruto responded back, watching the fight carefully, "That punch missed, but still did damage?"

"Must be a trick to it of some kind," Sakura spoke up, watching the fight carefully, "Kabuto looked... thrown off balance for a second there... and his glasses were destroyed. Might be some kind of sound attack?"

"Well, that is their village name..." Naruto admitted.

"I suppose this is true," Gaara nodded, "It will be... interesting to see what happens if they make it to the finals."

"They won't be," Naruto responded cheerfully.

"Oh?" Gaara arched a brow at Naruto, "What makes you so certain of that?"

"Put this into your little cards," they could hear one of the sound nin in the distance, "The three Hidden Sound Ninja, definate future chunins!"

"Because, I'm going to make certain that they're eliminated from the exams first chance I get," Naruto smiled ferally, "Its just bad manners to assault a Konoha nin, in Konoha, before the exams have even started. Someone just has to remind them, that proper manners are essential to a ninja. Of course, who better than me to do it?"

"I'm really, really glad you're on our side, Naruto," Sakura spoke up with a shiver, "Considering what I've seen you do to out own ninja, I don't even wanna think about what you'll do to them."

"ALL RIGHT, QUIET DOWN YOU WORTHLESS BASTARDS!" a sudden explosion of smoke and noise filled the room as the voice barked out a shouting growl.

As the smoke cleared, it revealed a tall, broad shouldered, scarred man, dressed in a proctor's uniform, black trench coat, gloves and a thick black bandanna underneath his forehead protector. Flanking him on either said, were a large group of Leaf nin, dressed in similar grey proctor uniforms. Smirking, coldly at the rest of the room, the scarred man began to speak.

"Thanks for waiting... I'm Morino Ibiki, the examiner for this test," pausing in his speech for a moment, the man lazily raised a gloved and pointed to the sound nins, "You three, from Hidden Sound, stop acting however you please. Do you want to be failed out of the exam already?"

"Sorry," the bandaged nin responded in a bored voice without an ounce of regret, "First time at a Chunin exam, I guess we got a little carried away, neh?"

"Bah," Ibiki snorted loudly as he glared back at the three, "Let me take this opportunity to say this: No fighting without the examiner's permission. And any fights I do let happen, killing your opponents will NOT be tolerated. The stupid shits that disobey me... You can drag your asses back to your villages and explain how you failed out because you couldn't do something like following simple directions. Am I clear?"

"Whatever you say Ibiki-san!" Naruto spoke up cheerfully, his bright blue eyes locking onto the jonin's own, and staring deep.

A slight tightening of the eyes was the man's only response, fighting down the sudden urge to pale and go running for the hills. Dammit, he'd withstood, days of some of the most painful tortures imaginable! He would not let himself be cowed by this little brat!

"Dammit, I should've known Anko would put him in this year," Ibiki grumbled softly under his breath, before growling out where everyone could hear, "All right you brats, get up here and pick up a number, then go and sit in the matching seat. I don't have all day!"

"I take it that you're... familiar with the examiner?" Gaara asked as the group made their way over towards the group of proctors.

"Oh yeah, why do you think I've been so eager to get to this?" Naruto rubbed his hands together viciously, "I'm gonna have FUN!"

At the table, Morino Ibiki suppressed the shiver running down his back. Suddenly, he wasn't quite as certain that this was gonna be the easy gig he thought it would.

-Elsewhere in the Academy-

"How did we get talked into this Hiashi?" Inoichi grumbled slightly as he carefully pulled the broad brimmed hat atop his head.

"Because we want to keep enjoying getting laid regularly by some of the more... desirable kunoichi there are?" the Hyuga responded as he lightly twirled a cane in his hand, before pulling on a deep purple silk robe.

"Ah yes," Inoichi responded with a slow nod, as he could hear the ripple of feminine giggles around them, "I suppose that is true."

"Plus, it gives us a chance to embarrass our girls," the pale eyed man responded with a completely straight face.

"That is true," Inoichi agreed, lightly tapping his lip, "Though, I think Naruto's going to get a laugh out of this."

"Just one?" Hiashi responded with a humorous smirk on his lips.

"Is the banner ready girls?" Inoichi continued with a chuckle.

"Oh yes, Inoichi-sama!" came the chorus of replies.

"Well then, I suppose all that's left, is for us to... enjoy ourselves until its time for our entrance, hm?" the blonde man asked his friend.

"Indeed... however will we pass the time?"

"Oh, I think we could find... something."

End notes: Heh, took long enough I know... ah well, finally making progress again into the chunin exams.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

-Author's Notes- Here we go again, ringing round the madness, to see and sorrow in burning delight...

Eheh

Fic... BEGIN!

-Academy-

As he settled into his seat, Naruto idly made note that he found himself next to Sasuke on one side, with an unknown Suna nin on the other. Shrugging slightly to himself as he noticed the tests were slowly being distributed. With a quirking grin on his face he looked over at his fellow leaf nin.

"So, did you make sure to get plenty of rest last night, Spanky?" Naruto grinned at his friend, "Or, were you too busy with Haku, wishing you luck?"

"Mmm I don't know," Sasuke arched a brow back at the blonde, "Did the girls keep you up all night?"

"Heh," Naruto rolled his eyes a bit, "Unlike you the three of us orphans, the girls have fathers looking out for them, and therefor, curfews."

"Like that would stop them," Sasuke countered with an amused smirk on his lips.

"True," Naruto admitted with a smirk as he caught sight of Ino throwing him a wink and a kiss out of the corner of his eye, "Yeah, I think Hiashi and Inoichi prefer to be willingly ignorant of things."

"Like any father would," Sasuke smirked back, "Though, how you lucked out with being on their good sides while doing what you do with their daughters..."

"Hiashi knew my parents," Naruto shrugged quietly, "Inoichi... Something about Ino being too much like her mother."

"Girls," Sasuke rolled his eyes slightly with a smirk, "Too much trouble."

"Says the guy whose boyfriend looks like one."

"Not under his kimono," Sasuke countered just as the tests were dropped down in front of them.

"Too much information there, Spanky," Naruto shot back, "Too much damned information."

"All right kiddies!" Ibiki's voice shot out, "This test is simple enough even you can get it. Ten questions for you to answer. Each right question is worth a point. Get caught cheating, and you automatically lose two of those points. Get caught five times, and you're gone. The way this works, if one of you is eliminated, the rest of your team follows."

Carefully Ibiki's gazed moved around the room, boring menacing into one set of eyes after the next, until finally they came to rest one the one pair he really didn't want to meet. Naruto Uzumaki's gaze met his own, without a single ounce of fear or worry. In fact, the look in them sent a shiver down the scarred man's back. Blonde brows waggled back at him before the boy gave off a silent laugh, and raised his arm dramatically.

Involuntarily, Ibiki could feel himself tensing, his body growing rigid as a slight trail of sweat began to trickle down the back of his neck. With a dramatic exaggeration, the boy dipped his hand into his coat, and began to rummage around, as if searching for something. His tongue slipped out the side of his mouth as his eyes almost crossed in concentration. Moments ticked by, one then the other, as Ibiki could feel his heart hammering, harder, faster in his chest.

Finally, the moment of truth came, and with an exaggerated flourish, the boy pulled his hand free. The motion, quickly revealing... a pencil. Twirling it lightly about his fingers, the boy grinned wickedly and sent the man a casual wink.

Already Ibiki could feel the twitch starting. He knew it was coming. That much was certain. But, it seemed the boy was going to play with him for a while. With a grudging respect, Ibiki acknowledged to himself that Naruto's exam wasn't like the others'. No, they weren't trying to see if they could break him under the pressure, his test, was to see just how much he could fuck with their heads instead.

Taking a moment to look around, the scarred man could only grudgingly admit that the boy was passing with flying colors. The various proctors were doing their best not to stare at the boy who had been the bane of slack discipline and security in Konoha. Still, the man had to give the boy his respect. He did his job, and he did it well.

Repressing a sigh, he glared out at the various kids. He fought back the twitch again as he caught sight of amused teammates of his blonde nemesis. Each of them had their own, expectant little grins on their smug faces. The smiles they gave him when he met their eyes, caused the cold lump in his stomach to only grow.

Time ticked by, and various teams were eliminated one by one. He was slightly amused to see that the youngest teams seemed to be doing the best this year. All nine of Konoha's rookies, as well as Gai's slightly more seasoned team, were all performing quite admirably. As were the ninja from Hidden Sound, and the Suna team that he'd seen Naruto's team hanging out with earlier.

Just then, he caught sight of the predatory leer Naruto was directing at him while his fingers idly twirled the pencil between his fingers. Again, the boy waggled his brows back at him, that same, simple little smirk, patiently curling on hi slips. Fingers, brushed along the edge of his coat, for a moment, a suggestive cant to his head as he would seem to ask a wordless question of Ibiki. The man would merely send a simmering glare back. He wasn't going to fall for that little bit of baiting.

As he again turned his attention back onto the rest of the genin, he could feel the boy's eyes, watching him. They didn't have the merciless, penetrating quality he used so often. It wasn't, the you Are going to crack, and I'm going to be smiling while I watch it happen, look. No, the look was more of a, 'You've already cracked, I know it, you know it, I'm just waiting to finish ripping you open', look.

For a moment, the man could only help but feel a pang of regret rippling through him. Oh, the things he could have done with the boy. The training, the torture! Getting sweet, sweet revenge while finally having a student worthy of passing on his art!

But noooooo, that damned Hyuga had to get him first. He grumbled mentally. It simply wasn't fair. Of course, if the woman hadn't gotten to him, he probably never would have even known the pure potential the boy had. Still... Wait...

He caught sight of a flash of dull, yellow rubber. His head practically whipped around to stare once more at Naruto. But, all he could see, was the boy, smiling back at him, pencil still in hand as he twirled it about his fingers.

Turning to one of the chunin watching the groups, the man muttered quietly, "Keep an eye on Uzumaki... let me know if he tries anything... funny."

"Um... Sir?" the chunin responded quietly back to the man, "No offense or anything... But I'm a helluva lot more afraid of him than I am of you. You heard about what happened to the last guy that tried to interrupt his fun, right?"

Giving the man a dirty look, Ibiki grunted softly before giving a grudging nod of admission, "So, basically, you're abandoning me to my fate?"

"Sir," the man responded blandly, "You're the one that called his style a joke."

Ibiki winced visibly at that, and gave a reluctant nod, "Still... Comrades shouldn't abandon one another in the face of danger."

"Sir, he is technically a comrade as well."

"And the rest of you feel the same way?" the man muttered quietly, as he glared at the men shifting uncomfortably in their chairs.

"Sir," one of them spoke up, "You did bring this on yourself."

"Besides, that kid's got Anko as a teacher," another added, "As scary as you are, Sir, she's a whole other level of creepy."

"And don't forget his teammates," yet another voice whispered back, "Did you hear about what Inoichi's daughter did to those ANBU?"

"I heard they're still trying to fix the guy that insulted the boy around Hiashi's daughter."

"Face it, Sir," the first voice said evenly, "You're screwed, but there is a bright side."

"And that would be?" Ibiki asked sourly.

"If they scare us this much, imagine what they'll do to the OTHER villages."

Ibiki's face instantly brightened for a moment at that thought. Fear and terror resonating through the eyes of opposing nin. Their anguished whimpers a sweet symphony of possibility. Yes, there was indeed a bright side to it. However, his present situation immediately came crashing back down on him.

"That's all well and good, but I'm the one that's in his sights right now."

"The life of a ninja is filled with peril," one of the nins responded sagely.

Again, Ibiki caught a flash of yellow rubber, this time, appearing to be near the Hyuga girl. His head whipping around again, proctors winced slightly as the hear the audible crack of his neck popping before he caught the pale eyes of the girl. A girl, who smiled a serene, happy little smile back at him.

"I'm starting to wonder... which is scarier," Ibiki muttered allowed, "The brat or his girls."

"The three of them together," a voice supplied.

Time ticked by for Ibiki, as again and again, he could see flashes of that yellow rubber, always just at the edge of his eyes. He began to twitch, slowly, his glaring eyes startling genin after genin. Names were called out, teams failed. But his glare only seemed to grow, seething, churning in his merciless eyes.

"I, um, need to go to the bathroom!" Kankuro suddenly spoke up.

"Tough shit you little bastard," Ibiki growled back at the boy, "You should have gone earlier when you were playing with your doll."

Kankuro immediately stiffened, his eyes widening in shock as he could hear the knowing snickers coming from his siblings and Naruto's team, "But... but..."

"Go ahead and piss yourself then," Ibiki growled back, "Or hold it for the rest of the bloody hour. Just choose one already and quit bothering us with your whining."

"No respect at all," Kankuro muttered under his breath, giving Ibiki a sullen glare.

"I'll take him, Sir," one of the chunin spoke up, "Make sure he's not up to something."

Ibiki glared then, not at the chunin, but at Kankuro once more, "As I said..."

"Mah," Naruto suddenly spoke up in a lazy drawl, "Why don't you just let him go, Ibiki-'san'," he stressed the honorific with a smirk, suddenly no longer twirling a pencil in his hand, but instead, a simple, rubber chicken, "I don't really think the rest of us want to have to deal with the smell... And I'm fairly sure doll boy will do it, just to spite you."

"Even when I'm getting help, I get no respect!" Kankuro muttered again, though cast a thankful look at Naruto.

Ibiki though, froze in place, his eyes widening slightly as he saw the rubber chicken. How it stretched and contorted in Naruto's hands. Its strained, floppy neck, bouncing around, bouncing. He could already hear that squeaking, contact of the rubber against the boy's hand.

Finally, the man managed to grind out, "...Fine... the little shit can go to the bathroom."

With that, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the rubber chicken was gone again. With an exaggerated flourish, Naruto held up both hands, then carefully pulled down each sleeve. Revealing nothing in sight, he grinned again, held up his hand, and with a gesture, his pencil was back where it had been before.

"This is a ninja exam, not a damned magic show you brat!" Ibiki growled.

"Eh, same difference. Sleight of hand, misdirection, pretty girls, and an audience are all you need," Naruto smirked and suddenly held a trio of roses in his hand, before with three flicks of his wrist, they launched through the air, and land in front of Hinata, Ino, and Temari respectively, "Well, that and plenty of style."

"Show off," Sasuke grumbled next to him, even as he caught the blonde sneaking the answers from his own sheet while the proctor's eyes followed the roses.

"If you've got it, flaunt it," Naruto shot back, before standing up and taking a sweeping bow, "Thank you for being such a wonderful audience. Ladies, if you'd like to see my special disappearing act, talk to my teammates. Just remember, make sure you don't wear a pair of panties you're planning to stay on."

He flopped back into his seat with a smirk, before resuming to write on his test, as if nothing had happened. The rest of the remaining genin, save those actually familiar were with the blonde, were staring at the boy incredulously. Those who did, were shaking their heads with a rueful chuckle, or giggle as the case may be.

"Finished?" Ibiki managed to grind out.

"Not even close, but, we'll pause now for intermission," Naruto grinned back cheerily, "Please enjoy the break before we return to our regularly scheduled program."

Ibiki twitched again, his eyes narrowed at the boy. Turning his head slightly, he caught sight of the grins spreading on the rest of the proctors' faces. Growling more audibly, he sent a spike of killing intent, reminding them that this wasn't a game.

"This isn't over," Ibiki snapped back.

"I thought that's what I just said?" Naruto blinked a moment, then looked over at Sasuke, "Didn't I just say that?"

"Well I do believe intermission does imply that something's not finished," the boy responded dryly.

"That's what I thought, but I wanted to make sure," Naruto nodded back, "One can never be too certain."

With a growl of frustration, Ibiki almost threw his hands up in disgust before he sat down on the desk he'd been standing in front of, only to suddenly freeze in place. Very, very slowly the man would stand back up, his body stiff and hard as he took a slow, deep breath before turning around and looking down on the desk. There, lain out in simple form, was a very, very rubber chicken.

Repressing a scream of frustration, the man whirled around and glared at the group assembled before him, "All right, that's it, time for the tenth damned question."

"Hmm, that was a short intermission," Naruto noticed, smiling innocently, "Is something the matter Ibiki-san?"

"One day, Uzumaki, I will have my vengeance on you," Ibiki growled out, "In this life or the next, but mark my words, I will have my vengeance!"

"Oh, reaaaaaaaally now?" Naruto blinked a moment, "What could I, a poor little genin, have possibly done to a big ole special jounin like you?"

Almost the entirety of the foreign nin, as well as a number of the local gening, were staring from the blonde headed brat to the examiner, wondering just what was going on. Those more familiar with the boy's reputation, merely chuckled and shook their heads ruefully. The chunin themselves, had settled in, making quiet bets with one another as they watched the growing confrontation beginning to blossom before them.

"That's it! Now you brats get to decide whether or not you want to answer the tenth question!" Ibiki snarled, before suddenly grinning down right viciously as he finished.

"Why would we not want to answer the question?!" Temari spoke up.

"Because if you choose to answer the question, and you get it wrong, you'll never be allowed to take another chunin exam for the rest of your life," the man snapped back with a wicked sadism flashing across his eyes.

"WHAT?!" chorused in outrage across the room.

"There wasn't anything like this last year!" one of the more experienced genin shouted out.

"You were just lucky I wasn't in charge of things last year," the towering man sneered back.

-Jounin Waiting Area-

"I wonder how the kids are handling Ibiki," Asuma idly wondered as he took a slow inhale of his cigarette.

"Mmm, knowing Kiba, he's probably frothing at the mouth," Kakashi admitted casually.

"Yosh! My most youthful students are proving what fine young ninja they are!" Gai spoke up proudly, before frowning just a moment, "Though, my most unyouthful student is probably sulking."

"Hmmm?" Kurenai looked up from her book, blinking for a moment as she lazily looked towards Gai, "Oh, still having problems with stick up his ass Neji?"

"That is a most unyouthful way of describing one of my beloved pupils Kurenai-san!" the thick browed jounin countered, before pausing slightly as he continued, "Though, a most accurate description."

"After what he tried to pull with Hinata..." Anko spoke up, "He's lucky to be able to be your student. I'm surprised Naruto didn't rip him apart."

"Well, admittedly, he has known Neji most of his life," a voice spoke up as the group of Jounin turned to see the Hokage entering into the room, with a slight smirk on his face, "And he did briefly know Hizashi."

"Ah, Hokage-sama," Baki spoke up, bowing to the man from where he'd been sitting near Anko and Kurenai, "I had hoped to speak to you."

"Hmmm?" the aged ninja leader arched a brow as he looked over at the sand nin, "Now, what brings Baki of Hidden Sand into the jounin lounge of the Hidden Leaf?"

"Eheh..." Anko coughed slightly as she looked up guiltily from her book, "Our teams befriended one another it seems. Enough so that Naruto and the girls insisted on escorting Baki's team to the exams."

"It was quite an impressive feat," Baki continued, his voice soft, "I have never seen someone manage to befriend Gaara before, even his own siblings have lived in fear of him."

"Gaara... Gaara..." Sarutobi paused a moment, lost in thought before he took a slow puff of his pipe, "The Kazekage's youngest?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Baki nodded in return, "He has lead a most... difficult life, by his father's instruction."

"He is the container for the Ichibi, is he not?" the older man asked pleasantly as he could feel the various jounin in the room suddenly snapping to attention.

Baki swallowed, slowly, audibly before nodding in acknowledgment, "How did you...?"

"How quickly everyone forgets," the Hokage chuckled in amusement, "That it was the first Hokage who gave out the tailed beasts he had subdued to the various major hidden villages, to help and try to promote peace. It is to surprising that we would keep records of who was given what, and the known attributes their containers would come to exhibit?"

"Ah, no Hokage-sama," Baki responded quickly, bowing back to the man, "It does however, bring me more immediately to a situation I find myself needing to address with you."

"Oh, and what would that be?" there was a sense of amusement in the man's words.

"I wish to request asylum for myself and my genin team," Baki responded quietly, still bowed low.

"Sand and Leaf are allies, why would you want, or need to request something like this?" a sudden suspicion flashing behind those knowing eyes.

"Because.." the man paused a moment, flickering his eyes around the small group of jounin instructors that had made themselves comfortable around him.

"Feel free to speak," Sarutobi the elder responded with a wave of his hand, "These five are among the most trusted ninja in this village."

"Very well," Baki took a slow deep breath before continuing, "Some time ago, the Kazekage was approached by the leader of Hidden Sound. The purpose of the meeting, was to form an alliance to invade and destroy the Hidden Leaf."

The assembled jounin started as they all as one turned their attention fully to the sand jounin, "What?!"

"I see..." the Hokage said slowly, eying the man in front of him carefully, "And for what reason?"

"Hidden Sand has been almost destroyed by the greed of our Daimyo," Baki spoke softly, "Out sourcing all of our missions to other villages, specifically the Hidden Leaf generally. We've been steadily forced to cut our shinobi ranks every year, with fewer and fewer allowed to even enter the academy. If things continue as they are, its only a matter of time before we are driven into complete destruction."

"I see," Sarutobi nodded slightly, before looking over the man, "And what does Hidden Sound gain out of this?"

"Revenge," the stony face man responded quietly.

"I wasn't aware that we'd even done anything to their village...?" Asuma spoke up, "Hell, they haven't even been a village long enough FOR us to have done anything to them."

"Not revenge for the village," Baki corrected, before he took a slow, deep breath, "Revenge for their leader... Orochimaru."

Now that made everyone freeze as they all stared at the man. You could have heard a pin drop from the sudden silence as no one seemed to dare to breath. Finally, with a slow, whispered exhale of breath, the Hokage spoke.

"Orochimaru... is the leader of Hidden Sound?" the voice was soft, subdued as the elder Sarutobi spoke

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Baki responded quietly, "Though my team has no knowledge of it, it was intended for Gaara to play a vital role in the invasion they had planned."

"Unleashing the Ichibi during the tournament most likely," Sarutobi spoke up quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "And why are you telling us this?"

"Given... His friendship with young Naruto," Baki spoke up slowly, hesitantly, "As well as his sister's with the boy's teammates, I don't believe that when the plan is revealed to them, that they would willingly take part. In fact..." the man shrugged slightly, "I do this, because its likely that they'd attempt to do the same when they learned the truth, and knowing Gaara, most likely with my corpse along for the ride."

"He's lying," Anko spoke up simply, as she flipped her book shut, "He's doing this because he's a 'Sweet Silky Nights' fanboy."

Baki immediately flushed, coughing into his hand as he looked nervously around him, "Well, That, um, err... does factor into it, yes."

"Um, what does that have to do with all this?" Asuma spoke up in confusion.

"What I'm about to tell you is an S-ranked secret of Konoha," the Hokage spoke up formally, "The author of the 'Sweet Silky Nights' series is a Konoha nin..."

"So, we've got the porn book market cornered?" Asuma spoke up in amusement, "Between Jiraiya-sama's Icha Icha series, and Sweet Silky Nights..."

"Ah, well you see..." the man's father coughed slightly, "The other part of the secret, is that that nin is Naruto Uzumaki."

"Yosh!" Gai spoke up, suddenly standing tall, before pausing, "...I... do not know if young Uzumaki burns with the fires of youth... or is most unyouthful..." he frowned, cupping his chin lightly, "This is most distressing, what do say, his most youthful instructors?"

"Hmm? Did you say something?" both woman looked up lazily, books in hand.

"Damn you Kakashi, for spreading your hip attitude!"

"Don't look at me Gai," Kakashi shrugged slightly, "I think its more mocking me than anything."

"These are among your most trusted ninja?" Baki coughed slightly, and stared at the Hokage.

"Well they are a bit... eccentric," the man admitted, watching as the girls lazily smirked at back at the men, while sidling up to one another in a most... intimate fashion, "But they are loyal, and talented nin."

"Say, Kurenai, we haven't seen you or Anko at the bar much lately," Asuma spoke up, as he chose to let his father get into the discussions with the sand nin.

"Hmmm?" the red eyed woman blinked a bit at her fellow jounin, "Oh, that? We've just been busy is all."

"Busy training the team I wanted to trade you for?" Kakashi spoke up, his eye smiling at her.

"With that perverted panty thief Kiba on your team? Never gonna happen," Anko shot back.

"No, I've been spending time with my boyfriend," Kurenai responded smirking a bit as she leaned against Anko.

"Oh," Asuma responded quietly, blinking slightly as he looked at the woman, "I see... Anyone I know?"

"Mhm," Anko grinned wickedly, "Yup, you're familiar with him all right."

Kakashi blinked a moment, then flicked his eye from Anko to Kurenai, then back again, "Huh... Naruto really takes after Iruka, huh?" the man paused a moment, before smiling at the two, "Or is it that Iruka takes after Naruto?"

"Iruka takes after Naruto," the pair responded automatically, before blushing brightly.

"Iruka?" Asuma simply, stared at the two, "But I thought..."

"He is," Anko affirmed.

"But, he just implied that Kurenai is..."

"I am," Kurenai nodded in turn, smirking at the man who'd danced around her a little too long.

"Then that would mean...?" Asuma blinked again.

"Oh, yes, it does," the girls responded back, grinning down right wickedly at the man as they pulled intimately together.

The younger Sarutobi stared at the two for a long, long moment before shaking his head, and inhaling deeply off his cigarette, "Lucky Bastard."

"Every Night," the pair affirmed.

"If you're finished the gossiping?" the Hokage spoke up, "Baki here was telling me some interesting things about a Leaf genin named Kabuto Yakushi.

-The Exam-

One by one, a number of various teams scattered about the room slowly departed as members of their teams broke and withdrew from the exam. A brow arched up, Naruto watched them, go, seeing how a number of his friends were growing nervous. A few hands were trembling, almost raising up into the air.

"Ya finished trying to fuck with our heads Ibiki?" Naruto lazily drawled as he would casually pull a rubber chicken from the depths of his coat, "The yadda yadda, either be willing to put it all on the line, or go home like the little cry babies you are routine over and done with?"

The room started at the boy's voice, as seemingly one motion their eyes turned to his as he snapped out the rubber chicken, pointing it in Ibiki's direction as he put his foot up on the desktop, "Because I'm sure as hell finished listening to it! I'm a shinobi! I put my life and my future on the line every day! I know that every mission I go on, could be my last. Even the simple shit that looks like nothing could go wrong with it. But I won't back down! I won't run away!"

The boy looked around the room, his eyes sweeping the disbelieving gazes locking onto his frame as his finger jutted out towards Ibiki, "So bring on your final question, I am a shinobi! I have the courage to put my life on the line with missions knowing there's a chance I'll die on them, why shouldn't I show the same courage when facing your question?!"

'Damn brat,' Ibiki thought with a mutter, even as he fought down the smirk of grudging admiration he could feel trying to spread to his lips as he saw the resolve firming in the eyes of the genin left, "Anyone else want to try again next year? Last chance!"

When no one answered him, Ibiki met the laughing eyes of Naruto Uzumaki and continued, "Very well then. For those of you that remain... You all pass."

"WHAAAAT?!" Kiba practically shrieked, "What the hell!?"

Naruto himself merely rolled his eyes as he slipped back into his seat, propping his feet up on the desk top as he proceeded to watch the show.

"You knew that was gonna happen, didn't you," Sasuke murmured accusingly.

"Eh, I know how Ibiki likes to work," Naruto shrugged slightly, "I mainly did it just to peeve him off."

"You're a strange, strange boy," the Uchiha noted.

"Yes, I am," the boy grinned back at his friend and merely smirked.

"In the real world, little brats," Ibiki continued, "You'll be sent out on missions where you'll have a likely chance of dying. If you can't handle a situation like this, how can we expect you to handle a situation like that, like ninja? In the ninja world, you won't have a chance to pass up a mission like that. You will be given it, and you will be expected to have the fortitude to handle it."

Suddenly a low mist flowed across the floor of the room, the lights dimming all around them. As the various genin began to tense, a slow, thudding beat began to pulse through the air. Suddenly, there was an explosion of smoke directly in front of Ibiki and his proctors.

When it cleared, the entire room was staring.

The entire room, save for Naruto and his teammates, who took one look at the spectacle in front of them, then hung their heads in shame.

Hiashi and Inoichi stood side to side, heads bowed, and hands crossed atop their individual canes. A slow shine of lights reflected off a disco ball that hadn't been there moment's before, catching against the brightly color silk of their robes. The bright shine of the purple of Hiashi's robes matched the broad brimmed hat, with a single yellow feather lazily swaying about. Inoichi, matched him, but in a brilliant, almost neon blue as he matched his friend in their pose.

Behind them, the genin could make out a group of poles that had some how appeared out of thin air, each adorned by a rather scantily clad leaf kunoichi writhing about them in a sensual dance. At either man's side, they had similarly outfitted kunoichi, hanging off their arms, as a banner spread behind them. Those that tore their eyes from the spectacle, managed to read its message: "Hiashi Hyuga and Inoichi Yamanaka, Second Stage Chunin examiners!"

"... Now here's some guys that have style!" Kankuro crowed as he could feel the trickle of blood flowing down his nose, but simply didn't care.

"... Isn't that...?" Sasuke started as he pointed to Hiashi.

"Yes," Naruto responded flatly.

"And isn't that...?" His finger moved over to Inoichi."

"Yes."

"Huh... your girls are gonna kill them, aren't they?" Sasuke noted.

"Depends on how smart they are," Naruto responded dully.

"Why the hell would two grown men, two of the most respected ninja in the Leaf... do that?"

"Honestly?" Naruto pursed his lips, "Someone probably convinced them, that where ever they are, their wives would be getting a kick out of it."

-Said Where ever they are-

"Oh. My. God."

The words echoed through the air, as four sets of eyes stood glued to the screen in front of them. His face pale, Minato Namizake fell silent the moment after the words left his lips. Next to him, three feminine voices erupted into a stream of happy giggles.

"Oh, that is just priceless!" Kushina gushed as she looked at the other two women, "The girls really went all out for your boys, didn't they?"

"Definitely!" the blonde woman agreed, her eyes sparkling happily, "Such a two for one special! Showing off for us, and embarrassing the girls just like good fathers are supposed to!"

"I don't know," the dark haired woman frowned, "Mr. Snuggly Pants is hiding that magnificent ass of his behind all those robes, I taught him better than that!"

"Ha! You should see Inoichi's!" the blonde woman countered, "Why, back in the day, I used to love to get him dressed in nice, tight spandex, just so I could rip it off him!"

"Urk!" the only man in the group paled once more, mumbling softly under his breath, "I'm gonna need sake, lots and lots of sake."

Kushina petted her husband atop the head, before smirking at her friends, "I love that speech my boy gave! Despite appearances, he gets his way with words from Minmin here."

"You sure about that?" the blonde woman asked casually, her brow arching slightly as she noticed the stuttering and mumbling man.

"Oh yes, most assuredly," Kushina nodded back, "I do have a talent for words, but... weeelllll..." she grinned lecherously at Minato, "Lets just say that they're the kind words to inspire, more carnal responses."

"Eep!" Minato's eyes widened comically as he stared back at the red head, squirming worriedly in his seat.

"Well, seeing how content our daughters are with that magnificent son of yours... not to mention how... stimulating his books can be, I think he got both," the Hyuga woman drawled, before sighing, "He's such a wonderful student, I wish I'd had more time to train him."

"I wish I'd had time to train him period," Minato spoke up quietly, looking at the screen as he curled his arms up against his chest, his arms crossing over his knees as he rested his chin there, "He's just... And that damned Hiruzen! Would it be so bad for him to know about us? Can't he see how desperately he needs it?"

"He's doing the best he can baby," Kushina said soothingly as she wrapped an arm about him, before frowning slightly, "Even if he's doing a really shitty job of it."

"I know, its just..." Minato sighed and grumbled, "I'm not taking him off The List."

"I know, he's on Mine too."

"The List?" the blonde woman asked curiously.

"The List of people who's asses we're going to kick when they finally croak, for what they did to our Naruto!" Kushina declared fiercely.

-Back at the Exam-

"All right kiddies, listen up," Inoichi spoke up as he slowly look up, and out across the room, cane twirling in his hand, "Because as of now, we're the ones in charge."

"So we're gonna make this short, and sweet," Hiashi continued, "The longer this takes us, the longer we're kept from enjoying our time with the girls here."

"That means, you're all gonna follow us to Training Ground 44, like good little boys and girls," Inoichi added, "So, get a move on!"

"Damn, and here I thought they'd be cool," Kankuro grumbled under his breath.

"Oh, they can be," Naruto chuckled at the puppeteer, "I'm guessing someone put them up to this."

"What makes you say that?" Sasuke said sarcastically as they mingled through the shifting groups, trying to pull their respective teams together, "The fact that Hiashi Hyuga is dressed like that?"

"Nah," Naruto shrugged, "I've seen pictures of him dressed up worse... I was referring to them doing it in front of their daughters... In public."

"Their daughters?" Kankuro blinked, "They're part of the exams?"

"Oh sure, they're-MMPH!" Naruto's response was cut off as a hand snaked out and roughly pushed over his mouth.

"Naruto," Sasuke spoke up calmly, and firmly as he kept his hand over his friend's mouth, "I think we both would prefer to not face their wrath."

Pushing the dark haired boy's hand off his mouth, Naruto grinned back, "Bah, you just know they'd take it out on you instead of me."

"Exactly," the Uchiha responded with a nod, "And, I rather prefer to keep myself in the shape I'm currently in... Haku-kun is rather fond of it. As am I."

"Urk," Kankuro made a slightly disgusted face as he shook his head, "I really, really don't need those mental images."

"I swear, you're such a baby sometimes, Kankuro," Temari's voice spoke up with an audible smirk as she sauntered over, "Though, I feel sorry for the girls."

"Oh shut up, Temari," the boy snapped back at his sister, "And which girls?"

"Those two's daughters of course," the blonde girl laughed back.

"You know who they are?"

"Well... Mmmph!" Temari blinked as she suddenly found herself gagged and bound where she stood, a pair of Narutos at either side of her, grinning at her.

"Naughty, naughty, Temari-chan," the one on her right grinned.

"Yes, very naughty," the one on her left agreed.

"And she didn't even invite us to join in!" Ino's voice called out in amusement as she sidled up to the clone on the right.

"Terribly rude, I'll agree," Hinata nodded as she slid up next to the clone on the left.

"Awfully nice of Naruto-kun to gift wrap her though, wasn't it, Hinata-chan?" the blue eyed blonde girl grinned.

"Definitely, Ino-chan," Hinata agreed happily as her fingers lightly trailed over the Naruto clone's chest, "Though mmm... Its a shame we don't have time to properly... unwrap her."

"That is so wrong," Kankuro muttered under his breath with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Eh," a new, female, voice spoke up, "That's Team 10 for you."

"Oh, hey..." Naruto spoke up, "Um, Tenten, right? Neji-bastard's teammate?"

"Neji-bastard?" Gaara's voice called out neutrally as he walked up to the group, Sakura at his side.

"Yeah, Hinata-chan's cousin," Naruto nodded, "There are a few... issues there."

"He's got more than a few of them," Tenten admitted, "Then again, most of my team does."

"Yosh!" a sudden, exuberant cry was heard as a new figure dressed in tight green, with thick black brows, leaped over, "I thank you for your most youthful aid in this portion of the exam my teammate!"

"See?" Tenten jerked her thumb at the newly arrived genin, "He's like a mini-clone of our instructor, so you can imagine what that's like."

"Yes! Gai-sensei is most youthful! I strive to live up to his example!" the boy proclaimed before he caught sight of Sakura, and his eyes immediately lit up as he jumped over to her, "My name is Rock Lee! Most beautiful, youthful lady, lets go out together!"

Gaara immediately began to twitch, his dull green eyes narrowing as the rest of the group started at the bushy browed boy.

"Well... Looks like you guys are about to be eliminated," Naruto deadpanned to Tenten.

"Eh? Lee, quit being an idiot!" Tenten barked at her teammate before looking over at Naruto, "Why's that?"

"Your friend just hit on Sakura right in front of her boyfriend," the blonde boy noted.

"Yeah..." Kankuro was slowly inching away from the exuberant boy, "Bro's not exactly the most... forgiving person..."

"No," Sakura responded anyway as she slipped her hand into Gaara's and gave it a reassuring squeeze, "I've got a boyfriend."

"Oh," immediately Lee slumped down looking dejected before he looked at the other three girls that weren't on his team hopefully, before noticing their rather intimate interactions with the Naruto clones, "Again, I prove not youthful enough! I will run 100 laps around-MMPH!"

"You will cease this immediately and not inflict your... youthfulness upon us," Gaara said flatly as his sand suddenly wrapped around Lee, mummifying the boy from his ankles to just under his nose, "I am... restraining myself from ending you now for hitting on my Sakura-chan in front of me. Do not tempt me any further. Am I clear?"

Slowly Lee nodded back, staring at the dull eyed boy, before the sand around him slowly dissolved away, leaving him to slump back to the ground. The instant it was gone, the boy immediately surged up, his eyes burning with an inner fire as his fist clenched, "YOSH! I look forward to challenging you, to test my fires of youth!"

"Lee, this is in the middle of the exams," Tenten said in exasperation, "Save the challenges for later!"

"You have to deal with this guy, on TOP of Neji-bastard?" Naruto spoke up, eying Tenten lightly, "You have my sympathies."

"Thanks," Tenten said sourly, as she noticed Temari's predicament, "Do you normally go about tying up girls like that?"

"Regularly?" Naruto paused in consideration, "Only my friends. Otherwise... yeah, quite often," he grinned at her, waggling his brows, "I am a capture specialist."

"Really, I heard you were a Bondage specialist," Tenten countered with a slight smirk.

"Well, that too," Naruto admitted with a wry grin, "Though, my girls don't have any complaints about it."

"Only that we don't get to enjoy it often enough!" Ino spoke up, breaking off the fun she was having with her Naruto clone and the bound Temari.

"Well, in Naruto-kun's defense," Hinata spoke up from the other side of Temari with her own Naruto clone, "If he did, none of us would be getting anything else done."

"But think of the satisfaction!" Ino countered, a slight trickle of drool curling out the corner of her mouth.

"Yes, there is that," Hinata nodded in agreement.

"So, is everyone here a pervert?" Tenten asked with an arched brow.

"Depends," Gaara spoke up, his head canted to the side, "Are you one?"

Immediately the girl blushed brightly and mumbled something none of the rest could quite make out.

"Then, I do believe that's a yes," Gaara nodded simply.

"Hey!" Sakura grumbled, "Are you calling me a pervert?!"

The red headed demon container looked at the girl at his side, "The blushing you tend to do when you do something like sprawl across my lap, press against my side and run your eyes over my body would indicate this, yes."

"Oh," the pink haired girl immediately blushed brightly, nodding her head as she looked to the side, before suddenly jerking her gaze back to the boy, her eyes wide, "Wait... does that mean YOU'RE a pervert too?!"

"Based on the examples of my siblings," Gaara responded, "As well as yourself, Naruto his girls, and his instructors, along with the thoughts I find myself having in regards to you and your body, I would have to say yes," he paused, before continuing, "Though, thankfully not to the extent that my brother is."

"Hey, with the lack of respect and the insulting!" Kankuro spoke up again.

"What's so bad about him?" Tenten asked curiously as she looked at Kankuro, "Other than the face paint."

"Hey!"

The rest of the group, save Lee, looked at one another before answering in unison, "His dolls."

"They're puppets!" the boy protested angrily.

"His dolls, what he uses them for," Gaara finished simply.

"Its a perfectly reasonable control exercise!" Kankuro protested, "To help better emulate.... Ah screw it, I give up."

As Kankuro hung his head and sulked, the group chuckled softly as they walked out of the academy.

"Hey, Spanky," Naruto spoke up, "Why haven't you gone and met up with your team yet?"

"Eh..." Sasuke shrugged a bit as he nervously looked around, "Kiba's been a bit... rowdy lately."

"Spanky?" Tenten suddenly asked with a blink.

"Ask Neji," Naruto grinned, down right wickedly.

"Right..." the girl responded warily as Sasuke broke into a light flush of embarrassment, "I'm not sure I really want to know."

"This is a most... confusing group," Lee spoke up, warily, "To see nin of different villages getting along is most youthful! But, at the same time... The topics are most unyouthful! I am most confused!"

"Welcome to the insanity, Lee," Naruto spoke up with a grin, "We'll have you measured for your own straight jacket and rubber room in no time."

"While most generous, Naruto-san," the boy responded, "I am not so sure it would be properly youthful for me to accept!"

"Naruto..." Tenten spoke up carefully, "How much would you charge to properly... educate Lee here?"

"Hmm," Naruto paused, taking a moment to study the bushy browed boy in front of him, "Now that's a tough one, we're talking about a major overhaul. Instilling of proper perversions, teaching him some style..."

"Yosh! I have a most youthful style!" Lee protested quickly.

"And we're talking about teaching you a style that would make girls interested in you, instead of running away in fear," Naruto countered, "Lets see, we'd also have to get him a proper fashion sense..."

"But, but...! Gai-sensei gave me this uniform!"

"Lee," Tenten spoke up, "When was the last time you saw Gai-sensei with a woman?"

"Why, just the other day!"

"Who actually enjoyed being in his company?"

"Ummm..." Lee paused then, catching his chin against his thumb, "Hrm.... There was... No, not her... No, not her either... Um... Erm..."

"Exactly," Tenten continued, "Gai-sensei is great for training, for ninja training that is... But, seriously? You want to end up around a girl and NOT have her wanting to run for the hills? Not a good idea to emulate him beyond training."

"But... but...."

"Generally, girls prefer experience over youth ya know," Naruto drawled lazily, as he smirked at Lee, "Or, at least they like moderation in their... 'youthfulness' as it were."

"But... its Gai-sensei!" Lee protested.

"So, Tenten," Naruto spoke up, suddenly waggling his brows at the brown haired girl, "You interested in the magic show?"

She immediately blushed brightly, almost freezing in place as she stared, wide eyed at the boy in front of her as she stuttered a response, "I, um, err... that is..."

"And that Lee," Naruto continued with a smirk and a wink, "Is the difference experience makes."

"All right," Inoichi's voice spoke up over the group, "Welcome to Training Ground 44, The Forest of Death!"

-The Jounin Lounge-

"Well, all our teams passed from what I understand," Kakashi spoke up with a smile, "That Naruto of yours apparently really gave Ibiki a hard time."

"That's our brat!" Anko said proudly, smirking broadly.

"Yes, he even offered to give the various kunoichi in the exam, a private magic show," the silver haired man continued, "Where he practically promised that their panties would vanish."

"Yeah, that's definitely our brat," Kurenai chuckled softly.

"Yosh! That is a most unyouthful offer!" Gai exclaimed in askance.

"Ah, then I suppose I shouldn't mention that your student, Tenten, was seen heading over to him when they were leaving the exam room?" Kakashi smiled back at his 'Eternal Rival'.

"Nooo!" Gai almost screamed in horror as he stared at his fellow jounin.

"Indeed," Kakashi eye smiled back, "Then, your prized student, Lee, went and hit on Asuma's student."

"Sakura?" the bearded jounin asked with a smirk, "Or did he prefer Shikamaru?"

"Weeeeeeelllllll...." Kakashi drawled out, enjoying the growing look of horror on Gai's face.

"Nooo! What has become of my most youthful students!?!" the thick browed jounin wailed, as tears began to flow down his cheeks, "I have failed my precious charges! I will run 200 laps around Konoha on my hands alone! And if I can't, I'll..."

"It was Sakura, Gai," Kakashi quickly cut the man on, letting him recover a moment before adding in the next bit of information, "But he did it right in front of her boyfriend."

"EH!?" this time, Asuma joined Gai in his exclaimation.

"Sakura has a boyfriend in the Chunin exams?" Asuma continued, almost dropping his cigarette from his mouth.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Kurenai looked up, bemused, "He's on Baki's team."

"...Kankuro has a girlfriend?" Baki spoke up, incredulously.

"Nope!" Anko answered with a grin.

"... GAARA has a girlfriend?!" the sand jounin out right stared at the woman.

"... Sakura is going out with the container of the Ichibi?" Asuma's cigarette fell limply from his lips, as the man stared at the three identically dressed instructors.

"And Gai's student hit on her in front of him," Kakashi reminded them happily.

"My," Kurenai noted, "I'm starting to wonder, are we training ninja, or a soap opera?"

"Gai, I'm surprised at you," Anko grinned wickedly, "Training your student to be so forward! I never knew you had it in you!"

"And... Gaara DIDN'T kill him?" Baki spoke up, his visible eye wide.

"Nope," Kakashi smiled back, "Sakura just gave his hand a nice little squeeze and he calmed down."

"She was TOUCHING him?!" Baki reached up, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Damn, now, I KNOW I made the right choice."

"Yup," Kakashi smiled simply, "Oh, and Gai? Tenten is trying to get Lee to take lessons from Naruto."

"Noooooo! My precious student!" Gai stared in horror at the thought.

"And, it looks like he's going to take him up on it," Kakashi continued.

"LEEEEEE! Don't worry, I'm coming!" with that, Gai became a blur of motion as he raced out of the room.

"How do you know all this anyway?" Kurenai asked curiously.

"Transformed Shadow Clone," Kakashi smiled back, "Very useful."

-End Notes-

Heh, that was fun. Next time, Round 2 begins!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Author's Notes:

I blame Matdeception for this. Its all his damned fault.

-Training Ground 44-

"All right kiddies, gather round," Inoichi boomed as he struck the ground with his cane, "Welcome to the Forest of Death."

"Ooooh, are we supposed to be scared?" a rain nin spoke up with a sneering sarcasm to his words.

Inoichi gave the boy a look, before raising his cane, and merely pointing in his direction. What most failed to see, was the sudden sliver of a shadow that lanced out, and connected with the boy's. Suddenly, the sarcastic froze up, then began to sing.

"I'm a little bitch boy short and stout," the rain nin suddenly reached down, grabbing at his crotch, "Here is my handle and my spout. When I get all whiny, and shoot off my mouth," the boy suddenly bent forward, "Bend me over and pound my ass out!"

"Now then," as Inoichi lowered his cane, the Rain nin suddenly returned his senses, trembling pale as he stared back at the man with wide, fearful eyes, "Anyone else want to be a smart ass?"

As heads rapidly shook all around the area, Ino leaned in and whispered into Naruto's ear, "He is SOOOO teaching me that technique."

"Just remember," Naruto countered, "You sure as hell aren't using it on me."

"Awww," Ino pouted softly, "But, you'd look so good doing a little dance."

Naruto pointedly ignored his fellow blonde's leering look as he let Hiashi pick up where Inoichi left off.

"Before we begin, we'll need each of you to sign one of these waivers," Hiashi said as the group of kunoichi each held up a stack of forms, waving them about with sweet smiles.

"Huh?" Kiba spoke up, "What do we need to do that for?!"

"Oh, some of you are going to be hurt, tortured, and killed," Inoichi said casually as he rested his hands on his cane once more, "Can't have us being held responsible for that, now can we? This is going to be a scroll battle."

"A scroll battle?" someone asked.

"Each team will be given one of two scrolls," Hiashi lifted up a pair of different colored scrolls, "A Heaven scroll, and an Earth scroll. You'll have five days to acquire and deliver one of each type to the Tower in the center of the training ground."

"You can use whatever techniques and weapons at your disposal," Inoichi continued, looking around them with a bemused smirk on his face, "There are no rules. Half of your teams will receive a Heaven Scroll, half of you will receive an Earth Scroll."

"There are only three things that will disqualify you from this competition," the head of the Hyuga clan spoke up, "One, you do not make it to the tower with both scrolls within the time limit. Two, you lose one of your teammates, or a teammate is killed. Three, you open up your scrolls before entering the tower."

"There will be no breaks, and no quitting," Inoichi shot Shikamaru a look as he said the last part, where the spiky haired boy had the decency to grumble and look away, "You'll receive your scroll once you turn in your completed waiver forms."

"Huh," Naruto grinned serenely, "What do you know, time to have fun already."

"Indeed..." Gaara spoke up as he created a table to sign the forms on with his sand, "I take it you're planning on fulfilling your promise about the sound nin?"

"Mmhmmm...." Naruto nodded, before frowning slightly, "They seem to be paying a little bit too much attention to Sasuke."

"I noticed," the stoic boy responded as he filled out his forms then slide his table over to Naruto's team, "Could you please release my sister, so she can prepare herself?"

"Mmm, I suppose," Naruto agreed grudgingly, as his two clones went to work untying the girl, "All good things have to come to an end at some point in time."

"Thank you," Gaara responded evenly as he looked around him, "I would be most... dissatisfied to not have you make it through this test with us."

"Along with your Sakura-chan?" Naruto teased the boy with a grin.

"That thought had occurred to me, yes," Gaara answered, a slight reddening to his cheeks.

"Then, we watch out for our friends teams, and if we come across them, we do our best to make sure they make it through."

"There are enough open slots for that to be a viable option," Gaara nodded in agreement.

"Sounds like a plan," Naruto nodded back and grinned, "We're gonna head after the sound team, we've gotta ambush them, and take care of things with enough time to make certain we get the right scroll if we still need to."

"Understood," Gaara nodded.

"If you two are finished your evil plots?" Ino spoke up, her eyes twinkling with amusement, "The rest of us are ready to get our scrolls."

"Bah, we will never be finished with our plots!" Naruto countered, "Not until we've got enough nookie calling us away to make it worth while. Right Gaara?"

"Agreed," Gaara nodded back.

"Boys," Hinata rolled her eyes slightly and then smirked at Temari, "No matter how dangerous they are, they're still little kids with their toys."

"Hehehehe," Naruto practically giggled, "Hinata-chan, can we keep that cute little sound nin who's teammates like to shoot their mouths off?"

"Like you need my permission, Naruto-kun," Hinata shot back, giggling back, "We follow you, remember?"

"Yeah," Ino smirked as she leaned over, resting her arms against his shoulders, "You want her, well... You did say you wanted us to practice our conversion techniques, right?"

"Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have you girls lately?" Naruto smirked back, "Come on, lets go get our scroll."

"Right, Naruto-kun!" Ino giggled softly, her eyes dancing playfully, "Besides, I want to have a pet I can play with."

"Instead of being our pet all the time?" Hinata giggled as she wrapped her arm about Ino's waist.

"Well, I'm not complaining Hinata-chan," Ino responded, "But..."

"You want someone you can take charge of too," Naruto finished with a smirk and a nod, "There's something fishy about those three anyway... We'll just have to make sure we deal with them."

"Come on, lets go get this thing started," Hinata giggled as she sauntered towards the hut, swaying her hips casually as she did.

"Couldn't agree more my little puppy, couldn't agree more."

-Jounin Lounge-

"Please?"

It was a slow, soft word, that tugged against Kurenai's sense of decency. The tones, quivering just enough to sound pleading, without the pathetic undertone of desperation. If she'd looked, she knew she'd find herself confronted by a wide, expressive, puppy dog gaze.

"For the last time, Baki," she responded, "I'll let you borrow it when I'm finished!"

"Damn," the man grumbled softly as he crossed his arms about his chest, and proceeded, to... sulk.

"Why don't you go bug Anko or something? Why do you keep trying to get mine?!" she growled softly at him.

"Because, I'm not stupid?" the sand jounin countered as he sighed and then crossed his legs and settled there on the floor, palms up, as he began to work a look of concentration on his face.

Asuma watched with an arched brow as the other jounin began to summon a soft, flowing breeze to float around his body. Eyes widening for a moment, the younger Sarutobi then proceeded to reveal a very, Naruto-like grin. Taking a deep puff from his cigarette, the man suddenly exhaled a small cloud of smoke, even as he could feel the annoyed stares thrown in his direction.

Ignoring them, he took on a look of concentration of his own, and quirked a lip as the smoke slowly formed itself into the shape of a monkey. Grinning as the sand jounin's eyes remained closed, the smoke monkey quickly waddled over to the man. Studying the revealed half of the man's face, the monkey's tail twitched, this way and that, is head twisting to the side, wide, expressive eyes studying the image before him. Then, the rest of the group blinked as it some pulled a smoke banana out and proceeded to eat.

The Hokage himself, gave his son an arched brow, a curious amusement on his face. Winking back, Asuma grinned, the look of concentration still focused and intent, as the monkey polished off, its banana. Finished, it stood, stretched out, then proceeded to throw its smoke banana peel directly into Baki's nose.

The slight impact against his skin, caused the Suna Jounin's eyes to snap open as his fingers lifted up. Even as he rubbed lightly at the affected area, a soft round of chuckles escaped those around them. Narrowing his eyes, he took a look from the serenely smiling monkey floating in front of him, to the grinning Asuma.

"Oh, try to make a monkey out of me will you?" there was a bit of humor in the man's voice as he concentrated himself.

Suddenly, the thin smoke escaping the Hokage's pipe, stilled and slowly pooled together. A thick, formless thing, it floated back over to the monkey. After a moment, of swirling around, shifted and morphed itself into an approximation of a man, making a bring it expression with its hand.

To which, the monkey paused, looked over the man, then proceeded to scratch itself. As Sarutobi caught his face in his palm, the rest of the group broke into soft chuckles. The monkey itself proceeded to flop back on its ass and pull out another banana.

At the incredulous looks sent at his son, the Hokage himself spoke up, "Where do you think Naruto got his start pranking?"

Again the group turned there attention back to the smoky figures, and their controllers. Asuma wore a half lazy grin on his lips, muted and amused as his monkey was finishing off his banana. His own lips twitching, Baki looked back at the man, before suddenly his smoky figure was holding an entire bushel of bananas in its hands.

Immediately the monkey froze, staring back at the bananas. To its horror, the smoky man, pulled one off, then proceeded to eat it himself. Giving a slight screech of anger, the monkey jumped to its feet, racing towards the man in a fury.

Until it slipped over the banana peel it had tossed away earlier and flipped over, landing on its face with a solid thump. For a moment, no one said anything, the merely stared at the show in front of them. Then, the laughter began, slowly from Kakashi and Gai, before the Hokage, and the girls joined, followed finally by Baki himself.

Smiling softly, Asuma leaned back, allowing his monkey to disperse back into smoke, "Nice to know I've still got it."

-Training Ground 44-

"So, we've got the Sound team a good eight gates over," Naruto said casually, his eyes twinkling wickedly, "I figured I'd use shadow clone scouts for recon, and we keep puppy close in case something slips by them."

"What're we gonna do when we find them?" Ino spoke up, her brow arched up casually.

"Oh, I had a few ideas..." Naruto waggled his brows again.

"Uh oh," Hinata spoke up with a giggle, "Sounds like trouble."

"What, you make it sound like I'd go out of my way to cause problems for those poor, innocent ninja from Hidden Sound," the boy spoke up, a tone of mock hurt rippling through his voice as he lay his hand over his heart, "How could you possibly think that of me Hinata-chan?"

"Mmm," the girl paused a moment, considering, "Because you're our snuggly, evil Cuddles-kun?"

"I'm so gonna kill Anko-chan for that," Naruto muttered softly as the chunin at the gate looked at them oddly.

"No, you're not," Ino responded with a grin, "You're going to grumble, glare at her, tease her mercilessly and torment her, but you'd never kill her."

"Yeah, you'd never let yourself ruin Iruka-sensei's sex life like that," Hinata agreed.

"Damn, you got me," Naruto grumbled softly and sighed before flicking his eyes over at the Jounin, "So, how much longer?"

"Not much, just a few more moments," the chunin responded easily enough, "Any particular reason you're targetting the sound team?"

"Several," Naruto grinned back, "They assaulted a Leaf nin just before the exam started, they ran off their mouths that they were definitely going to be chunin, and they've been eying my buddy like they plan to do something to him."

"And suddenly I remember why its never a good idea to end up as your target," the chunin deadpanned as he unlocked the gates, "Time to begin is.... NOW!"

Instantly Naruto made his signs, producing 30 shadow clones who immediately transformed them selves into random looking shinobi and fanned out in the direction of the sound nin. Smirking back at the girls, the original stretched out slowly then nodded his head in the appropriate direction. Taking his queue, the three shot up into the trees and began to race their way across the forest.

-Out of another gate-

"Did either of you just feel a chill run down your spines?" the female Sound nin spke up as she raced across the treetops.

"Quit being so damned nervous, Kin," the unbandaged boy responded, "These little babies don't stand a chance against us."

"We shouldn't get over confident, Zaku!" the third member snapped, "You want to be the one to go to Orochimaru-sama and tell him we fucked up and failed because we were stupid and got over confidant?"

"Come on, like you don't agree with me, Dosu!" Zaku sneered back, "We completely out class these losers!"

"Maybe, maybe not," Kin countered as she kept racing through the trees, "Did you see the looks the examiners were giving that blonde kid? Its like they were afraid of him."

"Of that loud mouthed loser?" Zaku sneered again, "Just goes to show you how weak these guys really are!"

"Kin's right," Dosu responded quietly, "There was something wrong about him. The way he and that Suna nin were talking... He was too confidant. I suppose it could be nothing, but..."

"You both worry entirely too much!" Zaku shot back, "Come on, lets go find that damned Uchiha, the sooner we put him in the ground, the sooner we finish this stage."

"Right," Kin responded quietly, her dark eyes dancing around, watching the shadows, as she couldn't help but wonder just what the hell was creeping her out so badly.

-Racing a distance away-

"So, what direction you think they're gonna head for?" Ino asked curiously as she jumped from tree limb to tree limb.

"Well, operating on the idea that they're trying to intercept Sasuke..." Naruto shrugged slightly, "My Clones will let me know when they come across them. All we can do in the mean time...."

Whatever he might have said was cut off as Hinata grabbed hold of the two and pulled them both suddenly up against a tree. The pair immediately threw their teammate a questioning look, staying silent as their eyes quickly tracked around the forest. With a silent gesture, the girl pointed down towards the ground, where they could see a trio of Rain nin looking around.

His eyes narrowing, Naruto nodded back to the Hyuga girl, pursing his lips in consideration. Ino sent him a questioningly look, but he held his hand up. Lips twitching, the boy weighed their options. They had 5 days to eliminate the Sound team, but still, the longer they waited the more likely they'd either reach Sasuke, or get the scroll they needed to move on.

Finally, he decision was made for him, as he could hear one of the Rain nin finally speak, "Dammit, I could have sworn I heard someone... Was hoping it was that loud mouth Leaf brat's team. Put that little idiot in his place."

Blue eyes narrowing, Naruto nodded, making a quick gesture from Ino, to the last of the foreign trio. Making his signs, two more clones popped into place next to her, taking hold of each of her arms, steadying her in place. Lightly tapping one of the seals lain inside his jacket, Naruto flashed the fingers of one hand three times at Hinata, who nodded dutifully, then tensed as the blonde boy prepared himself.

"Heh, the brat's probably lost," another of the nin smirked, just as Naruto launched himself into the air above them, "All sniveling and crying with those two girls of his..."

Whatever else the three might've said, was cut off by the sudden lash of a heavy iron chain crashing roughly into the shoulder of the first nin, sending him to the ground with a sudden cry of alarm and pain. The second, barely had time to dodge out of the way as Naruto landed, and immediately began to whirl on him. Chains snaked at him with an angry hiss of of motion, ripping through the air over and over again as he struggled to keep out of their reach.

A chunk of bark, blasted directly in front of him as for a moment, those brilliant blue eyes flashed against his own, and the Rain nin fought down the rising urge to cower in fear. Cold, merciless things, they kept driving him back as those chains moved like extensions of his arms, twisting and coiling almost impossibly at his body. Until, suddenly the boy felt light impacts on the back of his body, then sudden, searing pain as he suddenly couldn't move.

Desperation in his eyes, the Rain nin looked over at his final companion, only to stare in shock as he saw him tying up their injured comrade. As his body fell limply to the ground, he stared up at the pale face of the lavender eyed girl smiling sweetly down at him. Then, suddenly he was rolled over, his face pushed into the dirt as he could feel his limp limbs secured into place.

As he finished doing the same to final member of the trio, Naruto, dragged all three together, and smirked as he watched the final one's head drop for a moment, before snapping back up, shock and confusion written on his features. Snickering to himself, the blonde boy looked over inquiringly at Hinata. However, before the girl could respond, Ino's voice snapped out at the two of them.

"Dammit, Naruto-kun!" Ino whined softly as she landed next to him, followed shortly by both shadow clones, each of which was smirking in amusement, "What've I told you about how to handle my body when I'm using that jutsu?"

"Sorry, Kitten," Naruto called back, "But we're in the middle of a mission, play time can wait until later. Puppy?"

"The middle one's pack," Hinata responded simply, "So, Cuddles, What should we do we these three?"

"When we get out of here..." one of the captured nin growled.

"Ooh, Now you see, you really shoudln't have said that," Naruto grinned softly, "Now I'm afraid we're just gonna have to... use you three as an example. Hopefully one of the proctors will find you, before the wildlife or one of the more... bloodthirsty teams does."

Several minutes later, three completely nude forms were dangling from one of the thicker branches jutting in a small clearing. Each, had been gagged by their own underwear. On their chests, a simple warning was written: "They crossed Cuddles, Puppy and Kitten and paid the price."

It would be some time before they were found.

-Else where-

Neji's eyes kept flickering, visibly this way and that as his team made their way through the forest. A light layer of sweat, shown across his face, as a nervous twitch, slipped beneath his eye. Almost every little noise made him jump, skittering away to jump behind Lee with a look of fear on his face.

"Yosh! My most unyouthful teammate, what is the matter?!" Lee asked with a blink as he looked at once again cowering Hyuga.

"They're out there!" the boy almost blubbered, his eyes shining with fear, "Somewhere! Just waiting for me! I know it!"

"Who, Neji?" Tenten asked, her eyebrow lifting up slightly as she watched her normally stoically collected teammate approach a nervous break down.

"Naruto-sama!" Neji exclaimed, "He's out there somewhere! With Hinata-sama, and Ino-sama! They're just waiting, I know it! They're just waiting for the chance to jump me. This is the perfect opportunity for them!"

"Uh, Neji, I doubt that Naruto and the girls are stalking you," Tenten looked at Lee, then shrugged helplessly, "They have other things to worry about..."

"You're right..." Neji responded, much to the girl's relief, "He'll get Sasuke-sama to do it! He'll tie me up again, pull down my pants, and then teach me the meaning of the word respect again!"

Tenten stared at the boy, as his eyes took on an almost fevered look, "Um..."

"Tenten, do you have any idea what our most unyouthful teammate is talking about?" Lee asked, confusion growing as he felt his rival begin to sob against his back.

"Errr..." Tenten could feel a trickle of sweat curling down the side of her face, even as she fought down the mental images the words conjured up, and the drool that came with them, "Its... err..."

"Yes?" the boy asked again.

"Its complicated," the girl finished lamely as she could hear Neji begin to mutter under his breath.

"Please, Sasuke-sama, I'll be good! I promise... I'll be a good boy! No, not that Sasuke-sama! Its too big! Pleeeeeease, nooooooo! Not there!"

"Yosh! It sounds as if our comrade had a grand battle against the Uchiha!" Lee proclaimed.

"Yeah... A really... Big... Battle," Tenten nodded, fighting the trickle of drool that was threatening to slide down out the corner of her mouth, "That's it exactly."

"I will have to challenge him to do the same!" Lee almost shouted as he struck a pose, "To overcome what my most unyouthful rival Neji could not!"

Tenten froze as the image in her head, began to change, and she immediately let off a whimper, quickly shaking her head, "NO! For the love of all things pointy and sharp, NOOOOOO!"

"Tenten?!" taken aback by her outburst, Lee almost toppled over the curled up form of Neji.

"You must NEVER try to engage in that with Sasuke! EVER!"

"But..."

"EVER!!!!"

"But..."

"I'm serious! If I EVER hear that you even TRIED, I will hunt you down and I will make you an offering to the Gods of Kunai, Shuriken and various other objects of sharp pointy death!"

"Eeep!" Lee flinched back from the rabid fury burning in the girl's eyes, "Tenten! This is most unyouthful behavior!"

"Lee, seriously do not want to even CONSIDER the image such an encounter brings to mind. EVER!" the girl shivered as a look of green disgust slithered across her features, "Now go and do a quick patrol while Neji recovers."

"But..."

"NOW!" Tenten's eyes burned back into the protesting boy's.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Lee stiffened immediately, snapping off a salute before vanishing in a cloud of dust as he took off.

"... Why can't you be that protective of me?" Neji whined, "Willing to protect Lee but not me!"

"That wasn't about protecting Lee," Tenten countered, "That was about protecting my mind from those evil, evil images that would destroy such a lovely scene."

Neji could feel a chill running down his spine as he stared up at his teammate.

"Now..." she smiled, with a sweet, predatory hunger down at him, "Tell Tenten-chan, aaaaaalllllll about what Sasuke-sama did to her pretty little Neji.. I want ALL the details."

In the distance, the pitiful whimperings of a fallen Hyuga, sent shivers down the spines of any male creatures that heard it.

-Else where-

"Did you hear that?" Kin spoke up, her eyes shifting cautiously.

"Yes," Dosu nodded, "The broken whimperings of a pretty boy, being forced to divulge the humiliating details of his sexual abuse."

"How the hell do you know what that sounds like?" Zaku stared at the bandaged boy.

"Tayuya," Kin and Dosu answered in sudden unison.

"She used torment the stories out of Kimmimaro," Dosu continued, "Would reduce the guy to a blubbering, useless wreck for days, at least until Orochimaru-sama finally got him some proper counseling."

"What the fuck...!?" Zaku stared from Dosu to Kin, his eyes widened in shock.

"She's Tayuya," Kin responded with a shrug, as if that explained everything, "And she's got a bit of a yaoi fetish."

"And makes me glad that I'm too damned ugly for her to have any interest in," Dosu affirmed, before looking over at Zaku for a moment, "I'd advise you to get your face fucked up as soon as possible."

"Man, you guys are really pussies!" Zaku shook his head, "Freaking out over stupid shit like that..."

"Zaku, she's a genjutsu user," Dosu continued patiently.

"Yeah, so...?"

"Give it a rest Dosu," Kin spoke up and shook her head, "I'm sure she'll introduce him to what we're talking about soon enough."

"Whatever," the bandaged boy responded with a shrug.

"Ah! There you are!" a voice suddenly called out ahead of them, "We've been looking all over for you three!"

Instantly all three Sound nin were on guard, fingers curling towards their weapons as they snapped their attention around them as they spotted the three figures in Rain headbands standing lazily on a tree limb in front of them.

"Yeah, boss has had us searching all over for you," a second voice added, "Had us all trying to figure out where you'd be..."

"Fortunately, you were headed right where he figured you'd be," the third finished, "Straight towards the Uchiha."

"Who the hell are you three supposed to be?!" Zaku snarled eying the three warily, "And what the fuck do you know about that?!"

"I swear, if HE doesn't kill him, I will," Kin groaned softly in emphasis.

"Indeed," Dosu agreed, his visible eye narrowing at their teammate, "Zaku, shut up."

"What? If they find anything out, we just kill them and be done with it," the boy sneered back, "Not like Orochimaru-sama will care, as long as we kill the Uchiha too."

"Your friend is an idiot," one of the Rain nin observed casually, "I mean, seriously, he's a complete and utter moron."

"We know," Kin noted sourly, as she took hold her senbon needles, "And if we didn't need him for this damned exam, I'd kill him now."

"We just need to kill this idiots and be done with it! There's only three of them!" Zaku snarled again.

"Well there were four of us," one of the other nin noted, "But we figured that wasn't quite how to handle things, so we got rid of him."

"Shit," Dosu growled, "Now we've got to kill these three AND deal with where ever the fourth one went! Are you happy now Zaku?!"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about him," one of the Ame nin said dismissively, "We stabbed him with a kunai."

"What you do have to worry about," a new voice spoke up, "Is the fact that he was a shadow clone, and now the rest of us know where you are."

"Which means, well..." another voice sounded, as one by one figures quickly arrived, and suddenly, the sound nin found themselves surrounded by a ring of over 20 different fingers, all holding various kinds of smirks on their faces.

"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU DUMB SHIT?!" Kin practically screamed at Zaku, her eyes burning, "You could have just kept your damned mouth shut, and everything would be fine, but Noooooo, you had to go and screw us all..." when the boy started to respond, "So help me, if you're about to say, 'We just have to kill them all' I am going to shove these needles straight into the miserable little things you call balls!"

"Feisty, isn't she?" one of the figures spoke up, leaning against the tree with a Suna forehead protector, "Well I've got some good news, and some bad news for you boys, and some good and bad news for you girlie."

"And what would that be?" Dosu asked cautiously as he looked around him, taking note of where each figure stood.

"Well, do you want the good news, or the bad news first?"

"I can imagine what the good news would be," Dosu drawled out, "So lets here the good news first."

"You two don't have to worry about her killing and/or maiming either of you."

"I see," Dosu nodded, "The bad news, being that we'll be dead?"

"Not by us," one of the figures grinned, "Our bad news was that you wouldn't be making it to the third round, sorry!"

"Then my good news would be not having to put up with Zaku anymore," Kin noted with a slight drawl.

"Or Orochimaru," Another voice offered up.

"And the bad that I don't get to finish the chunin exams?"

"Well, yes, in a way," one of the first three figures responded, "YOU we are going to eliminate."

"Shit," the girl swore, her eyes widening in shock.

"Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way," another voice spoke, "You can give us the girl, we deal with her, and you go on about your way."

"Or you can fight, get your asses beaten to the ground, and we still deal with her," came through the forest.

"I don't take orders from stupid shits like you!" Zaku sneered as he raised his hands towards a group of figures then suddenly unleashed a blast of destructive air towards one group of figures he thought looked a bit more clustered than the others.

Instantly the figures in the range of the blast scattered, leaving a momentary opening, only to have it immediately filled as three more figures showed up.

"Meh, you guys just couldn't help but play around, could you?" Naruto spoke up as he glared at the collected figures.

"Eheh, Sorry, Boss!" the figures all called sheepishly.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the blonde boy sighed before looking at the Sound Trio, "So, how much did these idiots blab."

"Oh, you know, not going to make it to the chunin exams, not having to deal with my teammate's stupidity, ELIMINATING me!" Kin snapped back with a glare.

"Yeah, definitely feisty," Naruto nodded, "A shame isn't it girls?"

"Uh huh," Ino nodded, smirking a smirk eerily identical to Naruto's, "Really such a shame."

"She would have made a nice pet," Hinata agreed, smiling softly at the girl, "Do we really have to get rid of her Naruto-kun? She's quite pretty."

As Kin blushed brightly, trying to stammer out a response, her two teammates never saw the sudden stiffening she did when Naruto answered Hinata, "Yes, she is, but... A mission's a mission after all. Can't let people try to kill off our nin in our own village, just bad form that. She just was the one unlucky enough to get the short stick."

"You drew straws on which one of us you were going to try and kill?" Dosu asked curiously, head tilting to the side as he studied everything around them. Only Zaku had the appropriate abilities to do much of anything at this range, he had to draw out time, to figure out some kind of plan.

"Only fair way really," Naruto said as he lightly adjusted his sleeves, "Though, it really does work out for the best, as she's apparently the brains of your little outfit."

"All right, you sonuva..." Zaku began to growl, before suddenly, he was struck in the back of his head, by a squat, black piece of rubber, "WHAT the FUCK!?

"Butt plugs," said the smirking figure that had thrown the plug at him from behind, "Best for shutting up assholes."

Dosu fought down a chuckle that ached to escape his lips, before his visible eye widened suddenly, "MOVE!"

The three figures leapt away just in time to avoid the sudden crash of heavy iron chains crushing the branch they'd been on as Naruto stormed through the air towards them.

"Got you, you bastard!" Zaku crowed as he aimed his hands at the figure and let off a massive air blast.

"Zaku you idiot!" Dosu snarled as he watched his teammate's controlled jump suddenly accelerate into an uncontrolled launch that sent the boy flying back through the trees before slamming hard into a particularly thick trunk.

Naruto himself, grinned as a rope lashed out from his jacket and snagged a branch, nearby, allowing him to easily swing himself out of the way of the blast, "Man, he's really helpful isn't he? Makes my job all the easier."

"Dammit!" Dosu growled, before he looked around, frowning, when he realized he couldn't find Kin anywhere, "KIN! Where are you?!"

"OH, she's right here!" a cheerful voice spoke up, and the bandaged nin's eyes widened as he caught the sight of his remaining teammate wrapped up in string after string of explosive notes, her eyes wide with fear, "I do so love being a ninja, don't you? Being able to have these little slips of paper, and make it so easy to go BOOM!"

"You still have to let her go... and that gives me time to grab her," Dosu growled back.

"That is true," the man nodded sagely as the notes began to burn, "Only one problem with that logic."

"And that is...?"

"I'm just a clone," the man grinned back at Dosu, before the area suddenly exploded in a thunderous roar, an acrid cloud of smoke and the smell of burning flesh, and a brilliant flash of fire.

"DAMMIT!" Dosu swore as he was thrown back slightly by the strength of the explosion.

"Well, mission accomplished," Naruto spoke up cheerfully, "You boys have fun, and don't come back, ya hear?"

And with that, the various figures all faded away through the trees, and in moments later, Dosu was alone with the slumped figure of Zaku, "We are so fucked!"

-Some Distance away-

"Well, that went surprisingly well," Naruto noted simply, "She even had their scroll with her."

"I'm kinda surprised they didn't realize that clone of yours wasn't me," Ino noted with a slight smirk, "No offense Naruto-kun, but you need to work on your impersonation skills."

"Eh, that's only if I was trying to fool someone who actually knew you," Naruto shot back, grinning sweetly, "Then I'd just flirt like an alley cat in heat and plop down into my own lap."

"Humph!" Ino glared at the boy indignantly, "You make me sound like some kind of wanton slut!"

"Just for me and Hinata-chan my dear Ino-chan," Naruto shot back, winking at her as he slipped up, wrapping an arm about her waist as she could feel his body pressing to her own, "Or do you want to dispute that?"

"Dammit," Ino practically purred as she leaned back into him, "You know what that does to me Naruto-kun."

"If you two are done flirting?" Hinata spoke up, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes, "We do need to start dealing with our... prize."

"Ah, right," Naruto nodded as he reluctantly as he gentle let go Ino and turned to where a pair of his clones were holding the trussed up Kin, "So, how's it feel to be dead?"

"Mmmph mmM!" the girl's muffled shouts could be heard through the rubber ball gag stuffed into her mouth.

"Sorry about the gag and what not, but we do need to keep you quiet until we've gotten you to a properly... secure location," Naruto responded casually, as he pulled out a tag, "We wouldn't want to have your... interrogation interrupted now would we?"

Kin's eyes widened in fear as she saw tag so similar to the ones that had been used to created her "death" and immediately renewed her struggling, "MPH!"

Naruto rolled his eyes in response as he stuck the tag to her chest, "Really, and here I thought you'd be the smart one. We just went through all the trouble of capturing you, faking your death, and you think we're gonna just turn around and suddenly blow you up for shits and giggles?"

"Well, she was under orders from Anko-sensei's old teacher," Hinata supplied helpfully, "So, I suppose..."

If anything, Kin paled even more as she stared at the three. It was bad enough that she had been captured by enemy nins, who knew that she had been tasked with the death of one of their own. To learn that they'd been taught by Orochimaru's apprentice? She was well and truly fucked.

"Oh, relax, Kin-chan," Naruto chuckled as he watched the panic welling up in the girl's eyes, as he reached out and lightly brushed his fingers against her hair, "You don't have anything to worry about... Well, at least not along the lines of something the snake bastard would do. Now, time for you to get some sleep, night!"

With that, the boy snapped his fingers, and suddenly the tag on her chest sprang to life, suddenly filling her with an explosive wave of pleasure that completely wiped its way through her mind. As she slowly blacked out, she could hear the boy's final chuckle, "Damn, I love orgasm tags...."

-Later-

As she slowly regained consciousness, Kin released a slow, breathy sigh as her still pleasure fogged mind luxuriated in her most recent memories, "Oh... wow...."

"If you thought that was something," a somewhat familiar voice drawled, "You should see when he can do when he gets serious."

Pushing the fog of pleasure away, Kin tensed her body and forced her eyes into focus. She was in a cave of some kind, lain on a somewhat comfortable bit of padding. Sitting next to her, was the blonde girl, Ino as she recalled. Frowning just a bit to herself, noticed how her body was lain out, her arms and legs spread wide and vulnerable. With a growing alarm, she made note of how she had been almost completely stripped down.

"Nice panties by the way," Ino grinned as she casually trailed a finger up the girl's stomach, "We would've loved to have seen Orochimaru's face if he ever found out one of his ninja was wearing toad print undies."

Kin immediately blushed brightly at the girl, shifting even more uncomfortably against the sensations of the caress, "What're you going to do with me?"

"Well, Kin-chan," a familiar male voice spoke up as she shifted her gaze to catch sight of the blonde boy leaning against the cave wall, "You're going to be telling us everything you know. About Orochimaru, Sound, what's going on, your orders... etc etc etc. Then, we're going to be talking about your future."

"And what makes you think I'll tell you anything?!" the dark haired girl responded with a flare of defiance.

"Oh, little Kin-chan," Naruto slowly strode over to her, that wicked grin, holding such delightful promise as he loomed over her, "That's our specialty. Capture. Interrogation. Conversion. You belong to us now."

"You can't do this!" Kin spoke up, only a quiver of fear trickling through her defiance, "This is the middle of the damned Chunin exams!"

"Oh, forgotten already, Kin-chan?" Ino spoke up as she smiled hungrily at the girl, "No rules."

"Indeed... And your team thinks you're dead," Hinata spoke up as she appeared behind Naruto, "We have all the time in the world little Kin-chan."

"All the time in the world."

End Note:

As I said... I blame Matdeception for this.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Author's Notes: I'm still blaming Matdeception.

No, I'm not going to write out what they did to convert Kin. Most of it was simple, sheer kindness, coupled with the fact that she knows she's dead if she doesn't have someone looking after her.

For those of you still clamoring about sex, lemons, pedophilia and all sorts of other things... This is a comedy. I write it because honestly I find it amusing. I throw in tenderness, and I throw in intimacy, only to round out the whole of the fic. But, in the end, this is about making people laugh. Not about being serious about bondage or relationships between 13 year olds.

Though, to be honest, I find the thoughts of thirteen year olds engaging in sexual situations less disturbing than the thought of kids the same age being trained and becoming killers/weapons/tools of destruction like they are in the actual Naruto Manga.

Fic begins

Kin slowly came to with a shuddering gasp of sensation, feeling the wonderful, familiar stroke running down her back, as she could hear the voice above her ear. "My... you have such long, lovely hair, Kin-chan... Though, not very practical for a Kunoichi."

"Hinata-sama..." Kin whimpered softly, her eyes fluttering closed again for a moment, before flickering open again, blushing brightly. "I... "

"Now little Kin-chan, are you going to be... a good girl?" Hinata asked casually, a slight tremor of amusement in her voice as she lightly stroked the girl's hair.

"Yes, Hinata-sama," the girl responded quickly, nodding eagerly.

"Well, she certainly seems much better behaved than she was before." Naruto's voice sounded with a soft chuckle as he slipped into view, eying both girls casually.

"Naruto-sama," Kin breathed softly, blushing again as she looked away for a moment, until she felt the calloused touch of his fingers, drawing her eyes back over to his as he lightly brushed his thumb against her cheek.

"Well, Kin-chan." Naruto smiled at her, as he gently drew his fingers back. "Shall we give you back to Hidden Sound and your team?"

The girl immediately whimpered, shaking her head vehemently "NO! Don't wanna go back there!"

Fingers were slowly soothingly caressing just beneath her jaw, stroking down to the leather collar, decorated with a metal plate, inscribed with the leaf symbol there. "And why not hmmm?"

"Do you know what they'll do to me?!" The girl shivered, visible, her dark eyes wide, fearful as she pressed unconsciously into his hand. "Fuck, you keep treating me like you do, and I'll stay with you forever Naruto-sama."

"She's still got some spirit still I see." Ino spoke up, teasingly as came into view.

"S-sorry, Ino-sama!" Kin responded quickly, lowering her eyes.

"Don't be." Ino corrected, grinning as she slipped up against Naruto, and carefully stroked the girl's neck. "We don't want you some broken, scraping little toy..." She paused, her lips quirking into a grin. "A playful, spirited pet, yes... dull, lifeless little toy? Nope."

"Indeed." Hinata spoke up and smiled at the girl. "Now, we're going to need you to stay here, Kin-chan, while we go and finish up the third part of the exam."

"But..." the girl's eyes widened fearfully, as she looked around. "I'll be alone out here..."

"No, you won't." Naruto shook his head, and smiled as he summoned a single shadow clone, who quickly became two. "These two will keep you company, and then bring you to us when its safe, all right Kin-chan?"

"A-all right." the girl nodded quickly as she looked over at the two clones, who grinned at her in turn.

"Good girl." with a smile, Naruto kissed her atop her head. "Don't worry, we shouldn't take too long."

"Besides," one of the clones spoke up with a waggle of his brow, "You get to spend the time with two of us, all to yourself! The girls have to share the original."

Kin giggled softly at that, before nodding, leaning back as she curled her knees back up against her chest. "You... sure they won't come after me?"

"They think you're dead, sweetie." Hinata spoke soothingly, as she stroked the girl's hair.

"Now, we really need to get going." Naruto spoke up as he nudged the girls. "We'll be back for you soon, Kin-chan."

"All right." Kin nodded slowly as she watched the others slip out of the cave before turning her attention to the two Naruto clones watching her. "So, um..."

"Don't worry, Kin-chan." One of them spoke up, his eyes glittering with mirth. "We'll take good care of you."

-The Tower-

"Ah, I was wondering when you three were going to show up!" Iruka was chuckling as he appeared in a cloud of smoke, looking them over carefully. "Cutting it to the last minute aren't we?"

"We took advantage of the rules," Naruto said simply, his eyes glittering wickedly as he continued. "And the girls wanted some privacy."

"Amongst other things," Ino agreed with a positively lecherous leer.

"Yeah, amongst other things," Naruto responded with a nod and a smile before looking at Iruka. "I need to speak with the Hokage, as soon as possible."

"Would this have anything to do with the Sound Team you eliminated?" the scarred chunin asked curiously, a brow arching up. "Their jounin instructor was rather... upset."

"I bet, damned snake bastard." Naruto responded as he made a face before looking around. "Did the others make it?"

"Heh, the other villages are going to be quite upset." Iruka's eyes were twinkling as he looked over the boy. "Rain especially after the way some of their genin were found. Other than one Suna team, only Konoha nin made it through."

"Gaara's?" Naruto offered quietly, his eyes unreadable.

"Yup." Iruka nodded as he lead the genin team into the main hall. "Apparently their jounin sensei gave some information to the Hokage. Not sure what, but it seems to be big."

"If it's what I think it is, it is." Naruto's eyes got a distant look in them before he smiled slightly. "I hope that means he did what I think he did."

"That bad?" Iruka asked quietly.

"It involved Anko-chan's ex-sensei." The boy's voice was simple and direct as he spoke, his eyes slightly distant before he shrugged. "That kinda explains it all, don't you think?"

As Iruka nodded, Ino and Hinata walked behind them, more than slightly subdued as they looked at one another. There had been some surprising revelations in the last few days thanks to Kin. The torn feeling only grew when they caught sight of Temari sitting nervously next to her brothers.

"Did Sasuke make it through the exams all right?" Naruto asked quietly, lifting his eyes up to the Chunin next to him, watching the slight stiffening that rippled through the man. "I'll take that as a no then."

"Heaven Seal." Those two words were all the man would say, his eyes hardening as he lead the boy towards his peers.

"Snake-Bastard was here then?" Naruto twitched slightly before shaking his head as he continued. "You see, this is what's wrong with overly powerful, megalomaniac ninja these days. They just think they can drop in whenever they feel like it. They don't give you any warning at all! I swear, how are we supposed to give him a proper greeting if he's here and gone again before we even know?"

"Heh," Iruka chuckled his words as he responded to the boy, "Don't worry, I'm sure Anko-can will be happy to help you plan out an appropriate reception."

"You do mean we'll ALL be helping her plan out a proper reception, yes?" Naruto countered, looking at the man meaningfully. "You, me, Kurenai-sensei, the girls... All for one and all."

"Yeah." Iruka simply nodded in return, his eyes growing slightly distant as he caught sight of the team's instructors. "We're all in this together."

"I've got some people to talk to," Naruto said suddenly as he looked up meaningfully at the chunin. "Could you take Hinata-chan and Ino-chan over to your girls?"

"All right, Naruto, just be careful." Iruka nodded back to the boy before he led the subdued girls off.

Quietly nodding, Naruto gave a slight nod of his head towards Gaara, before he slipped over to where Sasuke sat with dark, angry eyes staring almost vacantly in front of him. "Hey, Spanky. How's it going?"

Sasuke snarled back up at the blonde boy, before slowly, forcefully restraining himself, taking slow, deep breaths as he clenched his fingers back against his palms. "I think... That's rather obvious right now, Naruto."

"Heard you had a run in with the Snake Bastard," the blonde said neutrally as he took a seat next to his fellow nin.

"Yeah." Sasuke responded as he took a slow, deep breath, then released it. "It burns..."

"I hear they have a cream for that." Naruto responded with a smirk. "Though, I think you'll have to get Haku to apply it, I just don't think of you that way."

The Uchiha stared at Naruto for a moment, before barking off a short, bitter laugh. "Yeah, kinda funny, all he was tempting me with was more power. Not a single offer of my own private Naruto toy."

"Sounds like his sales pitch needs work," Naruto agreed with a grin. "I mean, really, I should be insulted, all that time you spent drooling over me, and he never gets a single report about it? It's like they actually believed you only 'accidentally' touched me."

"It was a complete and utter accident." Sasuke's face was completely serious as he looked back at Naruto. "I was trying to get a look, the feel was only a nice bonus."

"Ugh, just don't tell Ino that," the blonde boy warned with a groan. "She'll get upset you beat her to it."

"Yeah, yeah." Sasuke waved his hand dismissively for a moment before smiling slightly at his friend. "I'll be all right. I just... He knew where to hit me."

"From what I understand," Naruto began, his voice casually neutral, "He has quite a bit of experience with knowing about more than just hitting on boys."

"Gee, you think?" the dark haired boy's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he unconsciously reached up, rubbing at the seal on his neck. "I didn't have a clue, what with the wandering hands, wandering tongue, and wandering mouth."

"Aww, did the bad, bad snake make touch you in bad places, Spanky?" Naruto said teasingly.

"No," Sasuke corrected with a slight whine to his voice. "He touched me in some very GOOD places before Haku-chan could. I'm going to have to spend extra time to make up for it and feel clean again."

"Poor baby." Naruto chuckled softly. "Next time, throw him a bone head like Kiba and run."

"Meh, that's a big no-no on our team." Sasuke grumbled slightly as he responded. "Those that break the rules are trash, those that abandon their comrades are even worse, etc etc etc."

"It's good advice," Naruto admitted, before grinning softly. "But, does it have to apply to an idiotic horn dog like Kiba?"

"Hey! I can hear you, ya know!" Kiba spoke up from nearby glaring at Naruto.

"Oh, shut up, Panty-Sniffer," Naruto shot back. "You're already Doomed, so stop trying to dig yourself in deeper."

"Panty-Sniffer?" Sasuke asked with a lazy arch of his brow.

"Alas, it would seem Kankuro over there..." Naruto gestured towards the Suna nin.

"... no respect I tell you..." could be heard vaguely slipping past his lips.

"Isn't the most worrisome deviant amongst us." The blonde boy finished his sentence with a slightly chiding tsk as he looked over at Kiba. "It has recently come to light, that a CERTAIN member of a certain team, both of which, I cannot name without sullying the honor of good decent nin..."

"What about in the case of those of us who have already been perverted into deviance thanks to exposure to you?" Sasuke cut off with a light drawl sweeping past his lips.

"Well, in your case, I'd have to start hiding my boxers," Naruto shot back with a slight grin before he continued. "And, alas, the most disturbing of the deviants here, again, amazingly enough NOT Kankuro..."

"... no respect..."

"Is a nin that gets his kicks stealing the unmentionables of our fair, female nin for the express purpose of... well..." Naruto shrugged helplessly as all eyes immediately locked onto a suddenly flushing Kiba. "Were it not for the selfless efforts of his sister to bring these facts to light, none of us would know the true depths of his depravity."

"Not to mention, he'd have been safe from your wrath," Sasuke pointed out with a soft chuckle.

"Ah, but my dear Spanky," Naruto corrected with a smile on his lips, "It is not my wrath which he should fear. But, the wrath of the teammate of mine from which he purloined the object of his depravity."

"Uh... huh?" Chouji blinked slightly as he looked oddly at Naruto, his eyes dulled and uncertain.

"Judging by the glare levelled at him," Shino observed neutrally, "It would seem that Kiba stole Hinata's panties."

"A brilliant deduction, Shino!" Naruto agreed his eyes dancing for a moment. "If only Holmes had you for his Watson."

"I apologize for my friend," Sasuke said with a soft chuckle. "He's always more than a little bit of a handful when he's attempting to cheer someone up."

"I do not attempt such things, my dear Spanky," Naruto responded with a bland deadpan. " I succeed."

"So it would seem," the Uchiha agreed as he would offer Naruto back a gentle smile and a nod of his head. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." The blonde boy flashed his friend a grin before lazily making his way over to stand next to Gaara.

Inclining his head slightly, the red haired nin spoke up in his typical, neutral dead pan. "Naruto."

"Gaara." The words were light and succinct as he would look for a moment from the Sand Nin to the girl sprawled comfortably in his lap. "I think we need to talk."

Gaara paused as he studied the blonde nin in front of him for a moment, before giving a slow, careful nod of his head. "Yes. I think we do. Sakura-chan, would you excuse us a moment?"

"Mrrr..." The pink haired nin slowly stretched out, almost like a contented cat before leveling a look from Naruto to Gaara, "All right, but I expect my seat back, Naruto!"

"Mhm, whatever you say, Haruno," Naruto responded glibly as he watched the pink hair girl slip off Gaara's lap, before the two demon containers walked to a more isolated part of the arena, Naruto's eyes never quite leaving the momentarily curious Kabuto, who quickly diverted his attention back to Sasuke.

"So, what is it you wish to talk about?" Gaara asked, his voice still carefully neutral even as his sand shifted restlessly in the gourd on his back.

"A little of this, a little of that..." Naruto responded easily enough. "Things like Sand betraying us for Orochimaru, the Leader of Hidden Sound."

"I did admit there was something I wanted to tell you." The Suna ninja stated calmly as he would lightly bring his arms up across his chest. "I simply was searching for an appropriate manner in which to... Broach the subject."

"Yes, I can see where telling someone you were sent here as a part of the precursor to an invasion meant to destroy their home would be a bit of a sticky subject to breach," Naruto agreed with a sage nod of his head before lightly tapping his lower lip. "So, just an idle question, how attached are you to Suna."

"I would speculate," Gaara began, before flicking his eyes back towards the rest of the ninja, "And it would of course only be speculation."

"Naturally," the blonde boy agreed with sage nod of his head. "Nothing wrong with a bit of speculation. Never hurt anyone."

"Indeed. Speculation in this case, would lead towards the thought that I would not be entirely... adverse to shifting my allegiance." The red head paused, his eyes flickering longingly over Sakura before turning his attention back to Naruto. "But, that is of course, purely speculation."

"Naturally." Naruto casually flicked his eyes over towards where Sakura was waiting, where she was giving Gaara an expectant gaze. "And, along that lines of pure speculation. There's this certain Suna nin I know, has a thing for a Konoha nin I know. The problem is, he's stuck in a bit of a bad situation. Part of the planning to invade her home. If I was able to, hypothetically, gain him entry into Konoha's ranks, think he'd be interested?"

"Hypothetically, I'd say he would." Gaara noted casually as he would actually offer a slight smile and a slight blush to Sakura.

"Good." The blonde boy smiled softly before he would cough quietly. "I do have some bad news. It would seem that that hypothetical Suna nin's sister has happened to upset two Konoha nin, by not even seeming to be conflicted at all about the coming unpleasantness."

"I take it that said sister would likely to find herself rather suddenly and unexpectantly lacking in the attentions she was previously enjoying?" Gaara responded with a careful neutrality to his voice.

"And of course, if said hypothetical Suna nin happened to tell her, and she then decided to inform her superiors that their plot had been discovered..." Naruto let his words taper off, before giving Gaara a meaningful look.

"Yes, that could be a problem," Gaara admitted with a sigh. "Troublesome girl."

"Been spending time with Shikamaru?" Naruto chuckled out his question as he canted his head slightly to the side.

"He is a part of Sakura's team." The red head pointed out. "And, he is a far more interesting conversationalist than my deviant of a brother."

"... no respect..." The words could be heard grumbled in the distance.

"I'm surprised you kept him awake more than anything." Naruto was chuckling softly before he looked over at Gaara, his eyes and tone suddenly serious. "So, I need to know... Where do you stand, Gaara of the Desert?"

"I have been raised as a tool, as a weapon," Gaara responded slowly, quietly. "I have known only hatred and death for almost as long as I can remember. I have always been alone." He paused a moment, letting his words hang in the air for a long, drawn out moment before he continued. "But, that was only because that was all I was allowed to know. Here... Here I think I could be something else, something better. Something no longer alone."

"I'll talk to the old man." Blue eyes sparkled as he reached up, lightly laying his hand on Gaara's shoulder, and offering him a smile. "It'd be great to have you."

"I think, it would be good to be had." Gaara responded with a slight ghost of a smile before the two of them walked back towards the rest of the group.

Once he'd returned Sakura's seat to her, Naruto plastered a happy grin on his face and practically bounced over to the oldest of the genin teams, almost shouting out. "Hey, Kabuto right? The guy that got smacked around by those dumb ass Sound Nins?"

"Ah, yes...?" The silver haired teen blinked in surprise behind his glasses, as he slowly glanced around. "Though, they might show up at any moment, so you really..."

"Nah," Naruto shook his head, grinning happily as he slipped up next to the older boy, slapping him on the back as he offered up a stage whisper, "Didn't you hear? They got eliminated the first day of the test!"

Kabuto almost fell back in shocked surprise as he blinked a moment, before quickly plastering a grin on his face, "Oh? All I heard about was the Rain team the proctors found all tied up..."

"And gagged with their underwear," the blonde agreed with a happy smile on his face. "Yeah, they made some disparaging remarks about us. I mean really, what kind of idiot goes and insults the team that just caught you with your pants down and captured you all in a matter of seconds, right?"

A worried look briefly flashed across the silver haired boy's features before he grinned again back at Naruto, "Yeah, that is kind of a stupid thing to do... So, did you hear exactly what happened to the Sound Team?"

"Ayup!" Naruto nodded happily, before putting on a suddenly regretful face. "It was such a shame. She was rather a rather pretty girl."

"Was...?" Kabuto prompted carefully.

"Yes, well it is hard to remain pretty when you've been blown into little, itty bitty pieces." Naruto nodded sagely as he spoke, his eyes a touch sad as he spoke. "Strings of explosive takes wrapped around her body."

He paused a moment then, before grinning happily. "Still, she went out with one helluva bang!"

Kabuto blinked slightly for a moment, as if stunned by the boy's words before he very carefully responded. "Someone... Blew her up?"

"What did you expect to happen?" Naruto was smiling cheerfully as he winked at Kabuto. "They attacked a Konoha nin and thought they'd get away with it! Ha! The only ones who would be worse off, would be traitors or spies... I mean, they might not have the death by red neck treefolk sodomization in the town square anymore, but still, I'm sure we can get pretty creative."

"Ah, yes, indeed." There was a slight greenish tint to the genin's face, before he shook his head slightly. "I'll have to thank whoever did that."

"Ha! I'm sure!" Again Naruto grabbed the older boy, slapping him on the back once more before ruffling the top of his head. "Anyway, good luck with the rest of the exam!"

"Thank you." The boy responded solemnly with a grin as the blonde released him then walked over to the chunin, Iruka and suddenly jumped on the man's back with a carefree laugh.

What Kabuto couldn't see, or hear, was the whispered words that Naruto gave in between laughs. "I need to talk to the Hokage, immediately."

Grinning back at his former student, Iruka rolled his eyes for everyone to see as he laughed out. "You're a ninja of Konoha Naruto, when're you going to grow up and stop demanding piggy back rides?"

"Never!" the boy practically shouted. "Now, onwards!"

As Iruka vanished with a laugh, Kankuro stared at the retreating forms before staring at the collection of Leaf nin all around him. "You know, you guys are nuts, right?"

"Yes." Shino's voice agreed solemnly in its dead pan neutrality. "However, as it's been noted. The crazier a Konoha ninja, the more dangerous they are. And Naruto, is Konoha's most unpredictable ninja atop his... eccentricities."

"Naruto-sama... is unique." Neji offered, a shudder rippling through his body as he did so. "A fact for which I often give heartfelt thanks to the gods."

Tenten grinned wickedly at her teammate before winking over at Sasuke, "Oooh, does someone need to be taught respect again?"

Instantly Neji let off a dejected whimper, akin to a kicked puppy as Sasuke gave a startlingly full blush, "Neji is a good boy! Neji understands respect! Neji will be a good boy!"

"You know, if you guys keep this up, he's going to be completely worthless as a ninja, right?" Ino observed dryly as she fought down the smirk on her lips. "The guy's already in need of years and years of therapy."

"Hmph, serves him right!" Hinata spoke up primly, glaring at her cousin for a moment, watching as he immediately shrank back from her gaze.

"Man, Neji, you are so screwed," Kiba noted with a snicker as he watched the cringing boy.

"..." The rest of the group all turned their attention onto the Inuzuka, looks of disbelief in their eyes.

"What?" The boy blinked slightly as Akamaru whined softy in his jacket before jumping away and staring at the boy.

"Kiba," Shino began neutrally, "You apparently seem to have forgotten that YOU are currently the one Hinata is upset with."

"And therefore," Sasuke picked up with a slow smirk on his face. "YOU get to be the one she goes after next. Though, I will have to abstain from anything along the same veins as what I did to Neji... I'm taken now, and to be honest... You're just too damned ugly Kiba."

"What happened to Not abandoning your teammates?!" Kiba whined softly before his eyes flicked over towards Hinata, a wary fear in his eyes as the pale eyed girl smiled with a sweet viciousness back at him.

"In this case," a new voice spoke up, as Kakashi suddenly appeared next to the group, little orange book in hand, "I think it's more, you brought this on yourself, you deal with the consequences."

"Getting marginally smarter, huh, Kakashi?" Ino spoke up with a smirk. "Waiting until Naruto-kun is out of sight?"

"Well, he IS still in plain sight where Naruto can see him as soon as he shows back up," Asuma pointed out as he appeared near by, his lit cigarette dangling from his lips as he smirked slightly. "So, its apparently not by much."

"Yosh! You are setting a most unyouthful example for our students, my Eternal Rival!" Gai declared as he lunged into place.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee exclaimed, before frowning slightly as he looked over to a stern faced Tenten, "I am most regretful, that I will not be fully participating in our usual training sessions!"

"What?! Lee, my beloved student, what about your youthful dream!?" Tears began to form in Gai's eyes as he stared at his student in shocked disbelief.

"I have not forsaken my youthful dream Gai-sensei!" Lee immediately clenched his fist, fire burning in his eyes. "I instead wish to share my flames of youth, with.." He paused a moment, suddenly blushing brightly as he looked away. "With a pretty girl, Gai-sensei!"

"And, Naruto would be upset with me if I had to kill him for continuing to hit on my girlfriend." Gaara's casual monotone drifted into the air as he held Sakura against his lap. "So, I would rather prefer to keep things civil, and for him to find his own girl."

"Tenten, surely..." Gai began as he rounded about his female student only to be suddenly confronted with a plethora of kunai and shuriken.

"Not for all the shiny pointies in the world!" the girl declared firmly, her eyes burning challengingly towards her instructor.

"How about for a video tape of Spanky and Haku getting hot and heavy?" Hinata offered up, smiling innocently at Tenten.

The older girl stared back at Hinata in dawning horror as a sudden realization hit her. "Evil wench! I shall not fall into your foul temptations!"

For a moment, the rest of the group stared back at the girl, clearly impressed (though Lee slumped dejectedly), before she continued. "I shall not defile the purity of the yaoi for such a cost!"

"Kakashi... My Eternal Rival... Where did I go wrong?" Gai was sobbing now, the tears streaming down his face as he turned to the masked ninja. "Why have my students begun to forsake their youthful path?!"

"My guess?" Kakashi drawled out, his eye lazily meeting Gai's gaze. "Hormones."

"...What...?" Gai blinked a moment, uncertain of how to respond to that as he stared back at the Copy Cat ninja.

"Hormones, you know those things teenagers get and never quite lose?" Anko's voice spoke up as she popped into view next to Kurenai and Baki.

All three of them dressed identically to Kakashi, with their noses buried into their copies of their books.

"Gah, they're multiplying in the dark!" Ino whimpered with a slight shudder. "At least the new ones have good taste in Literature..."

"Mm? Did you say something, Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up, suddenly standing next to the three, dressed up just as they were, her own nose buried in another copy of the series, a sweet little giggle escaping her lips.

"Aaaaah! You fiends! How could you do that to sweet, innocent, delectable... Ahem, I mean, Hinata-chan!" Ino pointed an accusatory finger in Kakashi's direction. "This is all YOUR fault! You leave me no choice but to do this!"

"Um, do what?" Kakashi asked, his eye flickering over at the girl, with a slightly nervous gleam, she was Naruto's teammate after all.

"Join them of course!" Ino cackled back before she was suddenly transformed just as the others were, their noses all buried in their books.

Kakashi stared for a long moment at the five figures dressed as he was, before hanging his head in resignation. "Well, if you can't beat them..." And with that, his orange book vanished, replaced by an equally familiar book held in each of his look-a-likes' hands.

"My Eternal rival, how could you!?" Gai was aghast as he looked at pointed his finger directly towards Kakashi. "To spread such an... an..."

"Unyouthful display?" Lee offered helpfully before feeling the dig of Tenten's elbow in his side.

"Thank you, my beloved student!" Gai's smile shone as he thrust his thumb up in the boy's direction before his finger again pointed towards Kakashi, "Most unyouthful display!"

"Hmm? Did you say something?" Six voices called out in eerie unison .

Asuma merely watched and laughed as his eyes danced with humor.

-Else where in the Wiz- Errr Ninja Tower!-

"Ah, Naruto, aren't you supposed to be at the arena?" Hiruzen Sarutobi asked was slipping his hat atop his head.

"Yup, but I kinda figured I'd give you a report while throwing a slightly... overly focused spy for a loop," the blonde boy agreed with a grin and a nod towards Iruka. "Besides, how often do I get to trick Iruka into giving me a piggy back ride anymore?"

"Brat," the chunin said playfully.

"Yeah yeah." Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "So, just wanted to let you know that Sand and Sound..."

"... Are planning an invasion, Sound is run by Orochimaru, and Kabuto Yakushi is a spy?" the Hokage asked with an innocent smile on his face.

Naruto stared at the old man for a moment, before he immediately crossed his arms about his chest and pouted visibly. "That's not fair! Though, I didn't know what Kabuto's last name was."

"Yes well, apparently Baki, the jounin instructor for one of the Suna teams..."

"Gaara's team?" Naruto perked up, eyes shining eagerly.

"Yes, I do believe so." The Hokage smiled easily down at the boy as he lightly patted him atop his head. "He was most impressed with your fine work and dedication..."

"He's a fan of 'Sweet Silky Nights,'" Iruka inserted with a cough and a grin.

"I'll make a note to get him autographed copies." Naruto nodded sagely at this as he began to rub his hands together with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"As I was saying," the elderly man continued, offering a mild glare in Iruka's direction, "He was most impressed with your fine work and dedication, to such a point that he bargained amnesty for himself and his team."

"Gaara's gonna be a Leaf Nin?" Naruto asked, his expression unreadable for a moment as he studied the old man in front of him.

"If he agrees to abide by our laws and rules, yes." Sarutobi blinked slightly as he watched the boy before him carefully. "Is there something-"

Whatever else the Hokage might've said was cut off as a mass of Narutos suddenly burst into view and immediately began to dance a jig in perfect unison all around the man. A bemused look on his face, the old man coughed slightly before he looked over the Narutos. "Finished?"

The clones all paused a moment, looking at each other carefully, before they each suddenly struck a thinking pose. Suddenly, there was a blur of motion and the entire room had been redecorated, the furniture pushed to the side. And in and instant, the Naruto swarm had both the chunin and the Hokage himself dancing with them.

-The Rest of the group, a few minutes later-

A cheerfully whistling Naruto strolled back into the room, quickly throwing a grin and a nod towards Gaara, who reflexively tightened his grip on Sakura as a ghost of a smile grew on his lips. Slipping over to his teammates, his wrapped his arms around their shoulders and grinned softly. Before he could say anything however, he blinked slightly as he caught sight of the blook in Kakashi's hand.

"Oi, Copy Cat! When did you develop good tast in literature?" Naruto smirked slightly as he looked at the masked nin.

"Mm? Did you say something?" Six voices answered him in unison, as six lazy eyes turned onto him.

Naruto blinked a moment, then blinked again, before looking over towards Gai, then looking back at the group, "Are you guys trying to tell me something?"

As most of the remaining group chuckled softly, Asuma smiled as he looked down at Naruto, "Heard you've been giving everybody a hard time, kiddo."

"Mmm maaaaaybe," Naruto drawled out without committing to an answer. "Should I tell them it's all your fault?"

"Well, I did already tell all the instructors..." Asuma shrugged slightly as he grinned back at the boy. "There are a FEW perks to being the Hokage's son."

"I wonder if ANBU knows yet," Naruto speculated aloud.

"Mmm, again, handy to be the son of the Hokage." Asuma grinned back as he took a lazy puff of his cigarette.

"Oh, is it now, Asuma?" The dry voice of the Hokage spoke up as he chuckled lightly. "Then I suppose you won't mind me announcing how you've agreed to help our Academy students test their skills, under the mentoring of any Konoha ninja interested in devoting their time to helping inspire the future generations of shinobi."

Asuma blinked a moment, staring back at his father before the full implications of what he'd said sunk in. "Dirty Pool, old man, dirty pool."

"There are a FEW perks to being the Hokage." The old man responded with an innocent smile on his lips before his face grew sterner as he addressed the assembled genin. "You have all done remarkably well. Never before have we had such a large number of promising young genin. Unfortunately, there are still too many of you to to advance to the final round. So, we'll be having preliminary elimination matches. If anyone of you feels you're not able to compete, please let us know now."

As Kabuto and one of his teammates raised their hands, a third started to rise from Shikamaru, before the lazy boy caught a glare from both Ino and Sakura. Sitting back down, he sulked in his seat. When the Hokage saw that no one else was going to volunteer, he nodded solemnly and continued, "Very well, look at the selection board to see your matches"

-Gaara of the Desert Vs. Yoroi Akado-

Kabuto blinked in surprise at seeing the match up, before shrugging slightly. Turning to his remaining teammate he smirked at the teen's rapidly paling reaction. "Well, it would seem it was fortunate we withdrew, wouldn't you say?"

As the teen nodded quickly, neither noticed the questioning gaze Naruto sent towards the Hokage. Cold, hard eyes sent the message back to Naruto as the man gave a simple, curt nod. Pursing his lips lightly, Naruto gave an almost imperceivable nod of his own before he slipped over to where Gaara was moving towards the arena floor.

Putting his hand on the boy's shoulder, his words were heard only by the red-head. "No need to hold back... just don't lose youself, ok?"

Gaara blinked slightly before giving Naruto a questioning look. "He is a Leaf Nin."

"No." Naruto corrected softly with a shake of his head. "He's not."

"Ah." Gaara nodded back as he watched the cold anger flashed in the boy's eyes, understanding blossoming in his own. "Then he has made his choice."

"Yup."

"Then so have I." And with that, Gaara disappeared in a swirl of sand, before appearing in the middle of the arena floor.

Whistling tunelessly Naruto casually strode back to his girls, slipping up behind them as he gave them each a soft, firm hug about their waists. Gently, he drew them together, their bodies pressed to his chest as he rested his chin down against where their shoulders met. For a moment, silence reigned as he watched Yoroi drop down to the arena, his masked face unreadable as he beheld the stoic boy in front of him.

"Well, time to see who Gaara really is." Naruto's voice was soft as his brilliant blue eyes watched with a tinge of worry as he beheld his fellow demon container.

"What'd you do, Naruto-kun?" Ino asked softly, picking up on the undertones in the boy's voice.

"Gave him carte blanche to deal with a traitor." Naruto's voice was soft, grim as he spoke, while his arms tightened lightly on the girls next to him. "The guy's life is already forfeit. I just need to see what he chooses to do when he's given the opportunity to do something, without repercussions."

"Oh, Naruto-kun..." Hinata shifted around, her arms clinging to him softly as she gave him a soft hug in turn.

"You may forfeit if you wish." Gaara's cold monotone echoed through the air as his seemingly dead eyes locked onto his opponents. "I would suggest you take it. Otherwise things will be... unpleasant for you."

"I may surprise you." the older teen shot back, his black eyes unreadable as he took a stance.

"You've made your choice then." Gaara responded simply as he looked to the sickly proctor. "Whenever you're ready."

"Begin!"

Immediately Yoroi launched a group of shuriken at the unflinching and unmoving Gaara, who merely stood there, unblinking as a tendril of sand rose up and batted the projectiles away. In a cold, almost bored voice, the boy spoke again as sand continued to stream out of his gourd. "I'm waiting to be surprised."

"Don't worry...." The teen started to respond, his voice dripping with an audible sneer they couldn't see before Gaara's monotone interrupted him.

"Your time is up." And with that Gaara lifted his hand, as suddenly a stream of sand behind Yoroi grabbed the teen by the back of his briefs, before being jerked up as Gaara snapped his hand up. "Desert Wedgie."

For a moment, no one said a thing, merely staring incredulously at the display as Yoroi rocketed up high into the air by the back of his underwear. Just as suddenly, before the teen could react, he was dumped once more, falling face first into the ground. Silence, reigned in the air, before finally Naruto spoke up. "Well, he DID warn him."

The first snicker rose an instant after that, before chuckles slowly rolled across the room. Kabuto himself blinked slightly, before simply shrugging uncaringly. On the arena floor, the proctor coughed a moment before announcing, "Winner, Gaara."

"Well, that was a bit anti-climatic." Naruto dead panned, before smiling slightly. "Funny though."

"I thought so." Gaara spoke up as he appeared behind the three in a swirl of sand as he settled back down and pulled Sakura back into his lap.

"Yes, well, that was most illuminating." The Hokage coughed once more before gesturing. "On to the next match perhaps?"

-Rock Lee Vs. Kankuro of the Desert-

"YOSH! It is time to prove the power of my-..!" Lee began before Naruto cut him off.

"Generally, Lee, girls prefer experience over youth." The blonde boy noted casually as he smirked slightly. "Though, your first lesson... Girls hate disgusting perverts. They like guys that teach them their place."

"What does this have to do with my match, Naruto-san?" Lee asked, confusion written on his face.

"Kankuro is a disgusting pervert." Gaara supplied simply instead of Naruto. "My sister has been most distressed by some of his... preferences."

"... It's not bad enough I get no respect, now I gotta deal with you sicking bushy browed guys in spandex after me? Come on! He's gotta be an even bigger pervert that I am to wear that get up!" Kankuro whined softly as he glared at the rest of the group.

"This is my precious uniform, given to me by my beloved teacher!" Lee immediately declared, his eyes burning. "It shows how bright the fires inside of me burn!"

"Ok... So, you're not the pervert, your sensei is?" Kankuro noted, as he jumped down to the arena. "That would explain why your team's so screwed up."

"Huh, you know he does have a point." Kakashi noted before turning a lazy eye onto Gai. "Is there something we should know, Gai?"

"Kakashi, how could you even think that about me?!" Gai stared back at his fellow Jounin, his face quickly reddening.

"Well, we never see you with women..." Kurenai spoke up casually as she lightly tapped her lower lip.

"You're always going around, being obsessed with youth..." Anko cut in, with a sickenly sweet smile.

"You're quite flamboyant." Asuma noted casually as he took a drag from his cigarette. "Especially with your entrances..."

"He's very..." Iruka coughed pointedly as he would nod meaningfully towards Gai. "Physical with his affection."

Gai stared at the collected older ninja, his eyes trembling before he would burst into tears, rushing over to Lee and quickly quickly grabbing his hands. "I'm not a pervert! You believe me, don't you my precious student?!"

"I... I..." Lee looked into the pleading eyes of his sensei before suddenly looking away as he jumped to the railing. "I have a match to win, Gai-sensei!" And with that the boy jumped down onto the arena floor.

Gai slumped visibly as an almost visible cloud hung over his head, tears still falling down his face. Kakashi shook his head before walking over, patting Gai lightly on his back. "There there... The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem. With hard work, and time, I'm sure you can stop being a worse pervert than I am."

At that, Gai fell to his knees, sobbing even harder as the rest of the collected ninja stared at him incredulously.

"What?" An innocent eye smile greeted the rest of the collected nin. "I'm at least open about how much of a pervert I am. All I do is walk around reading the stuff. Otherwise, I'm rather normal. Well, deviancy wise."

"So, we gonna get on with this?" Kankuro almost yawned as he unstrapped his bundle from his back, before settling it down.

"I... I shall defeat you!" Lee declared, trying to summon the usual energy that surged through him as he assumed a combat position.

"Huh... Well, at least he didn't say he was gonna beat me," Kankuro noted as he stuck his pinky into his ear and wiggled it slightly. "Considering what we seem to know about his teacher, I'd be worried about what he meant."

Lee faltered again, his eyes widening as he slipped out of his stance for a moment, before struggling to regain his composure. "That was... most unyouthful!"

"Huh, you sure you only dress that way JUST because of your teacher?" the suna nin arched a brow slightly as he shifted lazily, looking off to the side. "I mean... you already heard what they were saying about it... And here you are, bringing it up all over again."

"Huh." Naruto blinked slightly as he watched the pre-match conversation. "Maybe your brother isn't as dumb as I thought he was."

"He does seem to be waging an effective assault," Gaara agreed with a nod of his head.

"The match hasn't started yet, what're you guys talking about?" Kiba butted in, staring at the two conversing demon containers.

"Tsk, you really are troublesome aren't you?" Shikamaru complained with a slight sigh as he slumped forward. "If you can't figure it out, not worth telling you."

"Ready?" The proctor asked, lazily eying the two individuals before shrugging and starting the match. "Begin!"

Immediately Kankuro tossed his package directly at Lee. The bandage wrapped item, began a small tornado as the white ribbons came loose, fluttering around as Lee quickly dodged out of the way. Pulling himself once more into a combat stance he would speak again.

"Yosh! I will not be caught off guard so easily!" Lee declared, his eyes starting to regain a bit of their spark.

"Oh, you don't want me to catch you, big boy?" A sultry, feminine voice murmured almost directly behind Lee, before the thick browed boy whirled around, to find himself faced with alabaster skinned beauty in a black and red kimono, her eyes fluttering softly as her soft lips glistened in the arena's light.

"That little bastard!" Temari growled as she clutched at her fan, glaring down at the arena floor. "That's my kimono, and I bet he used MY make up!"

"S-stay back!" Lee suddenly jumped back wards, his eyes wide as he made a warding gesture towards the feminine figure.

"Oh? Don't you want me to get closer?" The figure almost purred her words as Kankuro grinned evilly while he watched, behind Lee's back, as he had his puppet begin to slowly loosen her kimono. "Find out... just what I've got to offer hmm?"

As a creamy shoulder came into view, followed by another, Lee blushed brightly as he averted his eyes. "I-I shall not give into such base temptation! I will be strong, I will make my teacher proud!"

"Oh?" The sash belt hit the floor, as she let the front of her kimono pull apart, revealing even more of that alabaster flesh. "The big, perverted, deviant teacher, is that who you want to make proud?"

"Ye-... N-... I... I... quit trying to confuse me!" Lee shook his head, blushing brightly as he did so, struggling to track the figure's movements without looking directly at her.

"Baby, the thing I'm trying to do, isn't confuse you..." her words practically dripped out of her mouth, before she pulled the kimono away, letting it drop down to the ground as she posed casually in front of him.

"That little bastard!" Temari was practically foaming at the mouth as she stared down at the puppet. "He stole my lingere!!"

"Ok, what I said about your brother being smart?" Naruto observed casually as he looked at Gaara. "I take it back. He's a dead man."

"Indeed." Gaara nodded solemnly. "Should we tell him what he did wrong if he survives?"

"Let's see if he can figure it out on his own." Naruto grinned wickedly as he pulled the girls more tightly to his chest.

"HEY! Eyebrows!" Temari yelled down into the arena. "Beat the crap out of that pervert, and I'll go on a date with you!"

Instantly Lee perked up, his eyes shining as he looked at Temari, "Truly?!"

"If he wins, you don't get a thing though!" The girl slipped back, her arms crossed about her chest. "And the quicker you do it, the more likely I am to give you a kiss!"

"YOSH!" Lee's hands immediately went down to his ankles, grabbing hold of the weights he wore there and tossing them into the air.

When they crashed down against the earth, shaking the entire arena in the process, he was off, a blur of motion as he was suddenly in Kankuro's face, launching him into the air. Before the boy knew what hit him, Lee was launching himself up, and quickly smashed his fist into the puppeteer's gut before twisting his body around. With a second, mighty kick, he launched the puppeteer once more, sending him crashing through the air before impacting against the wall next to Temari and collapsing at her feet.

Everyone stared a moment, in complete silence, before Temari beamed down at Lee. "Now that's a good boy!"

"Winner Rock Lee." The proctor finally coughed again, shaking his head with a slight look of amusement as Lee began to dance happily to himself.

"Now, let this be a lesson to you, little brother," Temari whispered sweetly. "Don't ever mess with my things."

A moment later Lee was back up with the rest of the group, beaming happily as they looked at the board to see the next match.

-Neji Hyuga Vs. Shino Aburame-

Author's notes: Stay tuned for the eventually posted next episode.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's notes: Well, this time I'm blaming Mat for the reason the previous chapter took so long.

Previous disclaimers still apply.

And for those of you that haven't figured it out yet... THIS IS A COMEDY FIC! Eesh, if you're looking for wankin material, look else where.

Hrm... bleh, this feels like a filler chapter, not as much fun to write and I couldn't come up with much funny for it.

-Fic, BEGIN!-

-Neji Hyuga vs. Shino Aburame-

"Ah, fate has smiled on Neji." Neji nodded quickly to himself breathing a sigh of relief. "Neji does not have to face Naruto-sama, or Hinata-sama, or..."

"We get it already!" Ino snapped at the Hyuga, before stomping over to the suddenly silent boy, glaring up at him with her hands on her hips before thrusting her finger down towards the floor. "You're a fate whooped little pretty boy. Get your ass down there and lose already."

"Yes ma`am." The boy responded quickly, nodding his head out of reflex before he jumped down to the arena. Once he landed, he paused a moment before glaring slightly up at her. "Oooh, Neji hates you!"

"Does Neji need another lesson, HMMM?" Hinata asked audibly as she glared down at her cousin.

The boy immediately gulped, audibly as he violently shook his head, "No! Neji is a good boy! A good boy!"

"Right." Naruto drawled slowly before he quirked a brow over at Shino. "Think you can come up with something appropriate?"

Shino shrugged slightly beneath his coat, his glasses glinting for a moment as he glanced towards Neji. "Possibly."

"Hmmm..." The blonde boy eyed the stoic nin, his chin cupped in his hand as he would purse his lips slightly. "Really, my dear Shin, must you be so... Obscuring?"

"Yes." The boy responded before he would quietly jump down into the arena, hands still pocketed deeply in his jacket.

"Neji shall show you, that fate has already declared him the winner!" Pale eyes burned slightly as he glared at the stoic unreadable boy in front of him. "Neji's eyes have shown him! Neji is a good boy! Neji can see!"

"Neji," Shino spoke up with a slightly amused drawl, "Needs some new lines."

Neji twitched slightly before he shifted himself into a gentle fist stance, the veins on his face suddenly bulging into reality. "Neji will show you! Neji will show you all!"

"Yes... he will." Shino's words hovered into the air cryptically as he smiled slightly beneath the collar of his jacket.

"Ready?" The proctor coughed slightly once more as he looked between the fighters. "Begin!"

Neji immediately launched himself at Shino, his palm thrusting out as he attempted to drive it towards his opponents' chest. It worked, partially at least. The palm passed into the coat, and kept going, a sudden swarm of bugs pouring out of the hole, before Shino dissolved into a cloud of bugs that quickly buzzed onto Neji's waiting body. His eyes widen, Neji attempted to shake off the crawling, stinging insects.

"Get them off, get them off!" the boy was practically squealing as he ran around, trying to shake the insets free as they followed him about.

From the shadows of the stairs, Shino appeared again, holding up a scroll as he held it in the crook between finger and thumb on his clasped hands. "Now... Summon!"

The scroll suddenly unfurled itself, spiraling around the boy before a sudden thick cloud of moths spewed out, almost filling the arena floor and quickly surrounding Neji. Beginning to quickly move thorugh a series of hand signals, Shino spoke up again. "Usually, this technique is for a more populated battle ground. To confuse and misdirect enemy nin. However, it does have another use."

Neji however, didn't seem to be paying attention as he struggled to swat the bugs off his body, even as they drained away his chakra, while batting wildly at the moths fluttering all around him. Still, he could still feel a chill run down his spine, when he could hear Shino's voice speak loudly and clearly into the air. "Consume!"

Again, Neji's voice slipped up an octave or two, a girlish little shriek that had the Hokage palming his face and sighing. "I really do need to talk to Naruto about ruining our previous rookie of the year."

"Just so you know, Hokage-sama," Kurenai cut in. "He did deserve it. And his punishment was approved by Hiashi."

"I know." The old man sighed softly before shaking his head. "Still... It is somewhat distressing. At least one thought gives me comfort."

"He's at least on our side?" Anko offered up with a grin on her lips.

"Indeed."

The cloud of moths finally dispersed below them, to reveal the quivering, and now thoroughly naked body of Neji, quivering and unconsciously as Shino's bugs withdrew back towards their Master. Moving carefully to the boy, the proctor coughed once before nudging him with his foot. When he got no more response than a slight, little whimper, he shrugged and called the match, "Winner Shino Aburame."

"Well, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or not." Naruto's voice was honest as he slowly shook his head, a bemused little smile on his lips. "Hopefully he's finally learned his lesson."

"We'll see." Hinata didn't exactly look like she believed it, but she did give him a slight nod of her head as she did her best to look away from her naked cousin as he was quickly removed from the arena on a stretcher. "But, I will say this, I did NOT need to see that."

Silenly, Shino ascended back to the rest of his compatriots, offering them a slight nod of his head before he settled back against the wall. There was a brief moment of silence, before everyone's attention turned back to the wall as the next match was displayed.

-Shikamaru Nara Vs. Tenten-

"Tsk, a girl?" The Nara boy was grumbling as he glared at the board, his shoulders slumped dejectedly as he sighed softly. "Hey proctor! Can I just forfeit?"

"Well, you could..." Naruto spoke up, smiling casually at his friend. "Then you'd be free to be Ino's training partner until the actual third stage."

"In fact, if you lose, you'll be free to help me train every day!" Ino spoke up enthusiastically, her eyes shining. "Up every morning at down, training hard during all hours... Not a minute wasted!"

"Yes, in fact, I bet if you ask, you could even get Lee to give you some tips about work out routines!" Naruto added, grinning widely as he looked back over at Shikamaru.

To his credit, Shikamaru merely blinked back at the two nins grinning maniacally back at him, before he turned, stood up, and faster than anyone had ever seen him move before, jumped into the arena. Glancing nervously up at the still grinning blondes, he muttered slightly under his breath. "Troublesome blondes."

"Oh, don't worry Shika!" Hinata called out, grinning merrily at him. "I know how much you're looking forward to a good match to test your skills, so..." The girl trailed off, before turning towards where Tenten was lazily making her way to the tower floor. "Tenten! If you win, you get a copy of the pictures of Spanky having his way with Neji!"

"Don't I get a say in who gets to see those?" Sasuke spoke up, blushing slightly in the process. "Since, you know, they are OF me."

"Only if I'm making a profit!" Hinata grinned back as she watched Tenten's eyes light up before she practically raced into the arena, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation.

"Your students seem quite talented at motivating people," Asuma noted as he glanced over at Anko and Kurenai. "I've never seen Shikamaru move that fast."

"Tenten seems more motivated than I have ever seen her," Lee noted eagerly before frowning slightly, "Though, I'm not sure what it is that motivates her so."

Temari looked at himfor a moment, then palmed her face with a sigh. "The things I do for righteous vengeance."

"Look at the bright side." Naruto spoke up, his lips curling back with a slight smirk.

"Bright side?" The Suna blonde glared back at Naruto. "Where's there a bright side with him besides the colors he likes to wear?"

"He's a blank slate?" Naruto offered with a grin. "Impressionable and untouched, waiting for you to mold him into the kind of boy you want." He paused a moment before winking at her. "Plus, we already know he's got stamina."

Temari blushed brightly as she looked away, glancing at a confused looking Lee for a moment, before slowly nodding. "You've got a point."

Grinning softly, Naruto turned his attention back towards the tower floor and studied how Shikamaru glared at a bouncing Tenten.

"Sorry about this." Tenten practically giggled as she fiddled with the ring of a kunai, lightly twirling it around her finger. "But, mama wants those pictures!"

"Meh." Shikamaru lazily stuck his hands in his pockets before shrugging a bit at the girl. "And I want nothing to do with helping Ino train. So, either way, this is going to be troublesome for one of us."

"Yeah, you!" Tenten's eyes hardened like steel as she suddenly ceased her bouncing, her fingers slipping back behind her.

"Ready?" The proctor spoke up, his eyes half shut as he glanced from boy to girl.

"No, but, for some reason I don't think I can get a couple of weeks to wait." The lazy boy flicked his gaze towards the proctor before glancing back at Tenten. "Let's get on with it already."

At Tenten's nod, the proctor leaned back, then called out, "Begin!"

Instantly the kunai began to fly through the air, as Tenten launched one after another towards the frantically dodging Shikamaru. After jumping the third kunai sent rather quickly between his legs, the boy glared back at the girl. "You have some really troublesome issues."

Tenten giggled, her eyes sparkling as she danced about, keeping the kunai coming before beginning to switch to a variety of different weapons. "Well, I'm not used to having such a large target!"

The various boys on the level above the floor, all twitched slightly before all of them, save Gaara, Naruto, and a confused looking Lee all turned towards Hinata.

Blinking slightly, the pale eyed girl looked back at them, before crossing her arms about her chest. "No way in hell I'm looking." She paused a moment before looking over at an overly amused Ino. "But, Ino-chan grew up with him."

"Wha...? Hey, leave me out of this!" Ino whined softly as she felt all those eyes shift onto her. "The last time anything like that happened..."

"Ino-chan, how could you?" Naruto cut her off, a look of melodramatic horror across his face. "After everything we've been through... All the trials and tribulations, all the missions and madness... You've thrown me over for him?!"

"There there, Naruto-kun," Hinata said consolingly as she lightly patted his back. "It looks like Ino-chan really just wanted a guy she could abuse and abuse and he'd just keep taking it."

Ino stared slack jawed at the two as Naruto nodded sadly. "All that teamwork, all that time together... and she just dumps us like we're nothing."

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun." The pale eyed Hyuuga girl said gently, before leaning a bit closer to him. "I'll make it up to you, once this is over, we'll..." The remainder of what she said, devolved into a a series of soft whispers that had Naruto's eyes perking up immediately.

"Really? You want the chocolate AND the peanut butter?" Naruto said, his eyes growing wide as he stared back at Hinata.

"HEY! That's MY..! Erk...!" Ino began, before her jaw snapped shut with an audible click as her face flushed crimson. "Bad Hinata-chan and Naruto-kun."

"Heh, I think the match is just about over." Naruto responded as he reached over and pulled Ino into a light hug with Hinata as they looked down onto the ground floor.

Shikamaru's shadow had bounced around from a variety of shadows cast by the numerous weapons littering the arena floor, until it connected directly into Tenten's. The girl herself's eyes were frantic and wide as she was struggling desperately to pull her hand away from where it had placed an exploding tag on her scroll, and held on. Shikamaru himself, was holding her in place, his eyes glaring mildly at the girl as his voice reached out into the tower.

"Forfeit... Or I'll be forced to... well..." Shikamaru looked over the girl slightly. "It would be troublesome to have to pick up the pieces... you look better as you are."

"But... but..." Tenten was trembling, her eyes tearing up as she whimpered softly. "My pretties!"

"5... 4...." Shikamaru was counting down, his eyes firm as he locked his gaze with the girl's.

"All right! All right!" The girl whimpered slightly and hung her head in defeat. "Proctor... I forfeit."

Nodding, the sickly man announced to the room. "Winner, Shikamaru Nara."

Relaxing slightly, the Nara boy fall back as he released his jutsu, before yelping slightly as he landed on the ring end of a kunai, "Tsk... Damned troublesome."

"Haha! Way to go Shikamaru!" Naruto crowed with a grin as he laughed lightly. "Good job!"

"Meh... I'm just lucky she valued her weapons scroll that much." The spikey haired boy grumbled as he rumbed his sore ass. "There was no way I could activate that tag with her chakra."

"That wasn't my weapons scroll you jerk!" Tenten growled as she came up behind him, smacking him on the head. "That was my yaoi stash scroll!"

Shikamaru paused a moment, staring incredulously at the girl for a moment before slumping his shoulders and starting to walk towards the stairs. "I don't even want to know why you had it with you."

"Like I'd trust my preciouses out of my sight!" Tenten responded with a slight snort as she gingerly cradled the scroll in hand. "Isn't that right, my precious? Yes, mommy would never let you get hurt..."

As the rest of the group slowly inched away from girl, Shikamaru sighed tiredly before flopping down next to Chouji and grumbling slightly. "Tsk, troublesome..."

A moment later, Tenten, still stroking her scroll strolled over, and proceeded to drop down directly onto the lazy Nara's lap. Wiggling herself for a moment, she smiled slightly to herself before she unravelled her scroll and released a little book, radically different from the ones the other group was giggling over. Letting off a soft, perverse giggle, she ignored the annoyed glare Shikamaru was giving her.

Finally, fed up, the boy grunted softly. "What the hell are you doing, girl?"

"Staking my claim," giggling girl shot back, before she gestured around them. "All the other decent guys our age are either taken, screwed up, gay, or have really disturbing attacks. No offense, Shino was it?"

"Understandable." Shino nodded back, a slight tinge of disquiet in his voice as he slouched slightly forward in response.

"Tsk... This is more than troublesome." The boy grumbled slightly, but apparently thought better of trying to dislodge the girl from her seat as he glared over at where Chouji was starting to laugh at him.

It was then that the next match was displayed.

-Sasuke Uchiha Vs. Chouji Akimichi-

Shikamaru winced visibily, before he smirked back at his friend. "It would seem karma is being troublesome for you today, Chouji."

Paling visibly, Chouji turned his head, and stared over at Sasuke. The Uchiha met his gaze, before shrugging slightly, a faint smile offered up. "I'm not going to kill you Chouji."

When his apprehension failed to abate, Kiba snickered softly and spoke up. "I don't think killing him is what he's worried about you doing to him."

"I'm happily in a relationship." Sasuke shot back, glaring lightly at Kiba as he clenched his teeth just a bit. "Fortunately for you..." He paused a moment, before his gritted teeth turned into an evil smirk. "Well, not so fortunate really... I know Hinata's looking forward to taking care of you. Now I'm just going to enjoy watching it all the more."

With that, the Uchiha stood up, stretching slowly, as he hissed slightly in pain, rubbing against his shoulder with a slow, firm motion. Seeing his discomfort, Naruto walked over and put his hand on his friend's shoulder once more. "You going to be ok?"

"Meh," Sasuke hissed slightly, "Kakashi said he's gonna try to partially seal it, but he can't do that until after the fight. So, gotta do this, no chakra."

"That... might be difficult." Naruto allowed as he looked over at where a nervous Chouji was making his way to the tower floor. "He is an Akimichi."

"And not for the first time, I'm starting to wish I knew more about our own clans." Sasuke groaned softly before he would nod back at Naruto. "I'll be fine, Haku will kill me if I do something too stupid."

Naruto arched a brow, before smirking slightly at his friend. "Just be careful. Like most of us, Chouji's a bit more than he appears."

"As you said… aren't we all?" Sasuke laughed slightly, a smirk on his lips before he leapt to the Arena floor, his black eyes glittering slightly as he nodded to the proctor and his opponent.

"Ready?" The proctor looked from Uchiha to Akimichi before stepping back as his hand dropped. "Begin!"

"You know, I'm not going to do anything like you're worried about, right, Chouji?" Sasuke chuckled a bit as he warily watched his opponent.

"I'm not exactly in a rush to find out, Sasuke." Chouji countered as he carefully eyed the black haired boy while shifted himself into position.

"Ugh, you punish one guy and you're labeled for life." Sasuke gave off a melodramatic sigh before grinning back at the boy across from him. "Besides, you really think I'd risk what Haku would do to me if I cheated on him?" He paused, shuddering visibly. "He's a sweet boy, but with his knowledge of sebon and his bloodline? No thank you."

"That and you like some of the things he does with that bloodline, eh, Spanky?" Naruto called out teasingly from above with, a brilliant grin on his face.

Blushing slightly at the chuckles that echoed around him, Sasuke none the less nodded his head and grinned slightly. "And I do like some of those things."

"Gah, hurry up and do something already, Fat Boy!" Kiba yelled out from above them. "I don't want to sit here listening about Sasuke's sex life!"

"Oh boy, now he's done it." Ino muttered slightly as Shikamaru shook his head slightly in disgust.

"Tsk, now you just had to go and make everything even more troublesome, didn't you, Kiba?" The boy grumbled underneath a slightly amused looking Tenten, who gave a brief little wiggle against his lap.

"I. AM. NOT! FAT!" Chouji roared as his eyes suddenly burned, glaring up at Kiba as he clenched his fists in anger. "I'M BIG BONED!"

"It ain't your bones that are big, from what I've seen!" Kiba countered as Akamaru whined lightly and ducked his head into the boy's coat, whimpering lightly.

"Are you that determined to get EVERYONE pissed at you, Kiba?" Naruto asked with an arched brow, before sliding slightly to the side to reveal and angry Chouji bouncing up from the Arena floor, flinging a series of kunai directly towards Kiba. "Because if you are, I think its working."

"HEY! Aren't you- Watch where you're throwing those things!" Kiba yelped as a kunai passed dangerously close between his legs.

"I think he is," Ino noted dryly. "Though, he does have a small target."

Suddenly Kakashi, Asuma and Gai appeared and quickly restrained the almost berserk Akimichi as he glared angrily towards Kiba.

"Asuma-san, your student is more… spirited!" Gai noted as his muscled tensed with slight exertion at the boy struggled against his hold.

"Easy there Chouji… Easy…" Asuma responded, his lit cigarette still dangling from his lips as he patted the boy on the back. "Ya know, Kakashi… that student of yours is a real idiot."

"… Yeah, I've noticed." Kakashi was sending a one eyed glare at the Inuzuka. "And I'm going to have to make certain this situation is dealt with in the most efficient manner."

"Surely, Kakashi, not even you are that cruel!" Gai gasped, horror written in his eyes.

"I don't think I'm out of bounds, all things considered." Kakashi shot back as the rest of the genin shifted curiously.

"Um, what exactly are you talking about doing to him?" Naruto asked, curiosity glittering in his eyes.

"Why, telling his mother of course." Kakashi responded with a happy little smile of his eye.

"What?! NOOOOOOOO!" Kiba's eyes widened into saucers as Akamaru barked in approval.

"Cruel, Kakashi," Asuma noted with a slight smirk on his lips. "Tsume's gonna tear him a new one."

"Only AFTER I'm through with him!" Hinata spoke up with an almost imperious glare at the men. "Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am!" Kakashi saluted the girl with a smile, almost letting loose the still angry Akimichi in the process.

"LEMME GO!" Chouji roared as an annoyed looking Ino, walked up to the plump boy then proceeded to smack him atop his head.

"Stop being an idiot Chouji!" Ino snapped, glaring down at her suddenly startled childhood friend. "You've already lost your match, leave it at that."

"Huh, wha…?" Chouji blinked, snapping out of his rage with a blink as he relaxed in the jounins' arms. "I did?"

"Yes, you big dummy, you did." Ino rapped the top of his head with her knuckles.

"Errr.. Sorry?" The boy immediately blushed brightly as he sagged in the arms of the jounin.

"Might want to work on your student's temper." Kakashi noted with a smile to Asuma before releasing Chouji before vanishing and reappearing next to Sasuke. "Now, I need to take care of mine." And with that, both figures vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Winner, Sasuke Uchiha." The proctor repeated for the crowd on the railing.

"Mmm just six of us left," Naruto noted with a slight smirk on his lips. " And amazingly enough, one entire team."

"Mmhmm." Hinata agreed as she lightly examined her nails. "Ino-chan, Naruto-kun, if you get Kiba, you'll save enough of him for me, won't you?"

"Of course, Hinata-chan" Naruto agreed with an easy smile. "Why, I'll even gift wrap him for you."

Ino chuckled softly as she watched Naruto wrap his arms around their teammate before her eyes widened as she saw her own name pop up on the board in front of them.

Sakura Haruno Vs. Ino Yamanaka

"My turn at last it seems." Ino grinned brightly before sauntering over to her teammates. "A kiss for luck?"

Grinning back at her, her teammates each placed a kiss on one of her cheeks. Pouting back at them she crossed her arms about her chest. "That's not what I meant."

"The Good stuff's for when you win." Hinata shot back, before playfully swatting the girl's ass. "Now get in there Ino-chan!"

"Oooh, promises, promises Hinata-chan!" Ino giggled before gracefully flipping over the railing and landing in an elegant crouch on the ground.

"Show off." Sakura grumbled as she gave Gaara a kiss on the cheek before jumping up to the railing then launching herself out, landing a good distance in front of her blonde haired friend.

"Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it!" Ino grinned wickedly back at her friend, "And baby, oh do I got it!"

"She gets it from you, you know." Hinata said firmly to Naruto while they could see Inoichi hanging his head and sighing slightly, even as he struggled to keep the smile from his face at his daughter antics.

"I know." Naruto said with a broad grin, sniffling slightly as he made as if to wipe a tear from his eye. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

Hinata giggled softly as she turned her attention back to her teammate, watching as the girl practically bounced in anticipation as she watched her pink haired opponent. "If you say so, Naruto-kun."

"So, Forehead," Ino started casually as she would look over her friend, a quirky, predatory grin on her lips. "Would you prefer to be presented to Gaara with or without cloths?" She paused a moment, lightly tapping her cheek in thought. "Hmm… well, I always did wonder how natural your hair color is…"

"Don't you dare!" Sakura practically squeaked in outrage at her friend as she shifted in her stand, bringing up a kunai with an angry scowl on her face.

"What, I'm sure he's very curious about the answer to that question himself!" Ino practically giggled back at her fellow kunoichi while the rest of the genin their attention to Gaara for a moment.

"She's not… wrong." Was the only admission the stoic boy would give, though the faintest tinge of a blush decorated his cheeks.

"Proctor!" Sakura snapped angrily, as she glared over at the man. "Are you going to start this match already or not?!"

"Oooh, Cat fight!" Kankuro noted groggily as he struggled to sit up. "This I gotta see."

"You never learn, do you, little brother?" Temari glared at him with a slight sigh of annoyance as he shifted forward in his seat.

"I learn…" Kankuro protested slightly as his eyes were glued down onto the arena. "Just somethings are worth it!"

"Ready?" The proctor coughed slightly as he looked from one girl to the other. "Begin!"

Immediately both kunoichi launched their Kunai at one another as they started to race around the arena, trading shots back and forth as they probed each other's defenses. Quickly, the difference in styles grew apparent, as the Sakura's quick movements focused on discipline and efficiency, the minimum amount of effort given to each motion she made. Ino on the opposite side of things, moved with a flowing grace, making her motions almost a dance as she twisted and flowed across the arena floor.

"They look pretty evenly matched." Tenten noted lightly, before frowning just a bit. "I was honestly… expecting more."

"They aren't." Shikamaru responded with a slight grunt. "Ino's just being troublesome."

"She doesn't want to make Sakura look TOO bad." Naruto corrected as he watched his teammate lift one of the kunai from the dirt and in a fluid motion fling it towards Sakura. "Besides, she needs to burn off some energy."

"Sakura… is rather direct, isn't she." Gaara noted as he watched his girlfriend dodge the kunai and return with one of her own.

"She can be." Naruto agreed with a grin. "Actually, has anyone seen her try to be subtle?"

"When she was chasing after Sasuke." Hinata agreed with a slight grin on her lips.

"That was subtle?!" Kiba spoke up incredulously.

"I believe she refers to Sakura's definition of the word." Shino noted casually as his sun glasses glinted lightly.

"Indeed," Naruto agreed, nodding sagely as he pursed his lips lightly, before shrugging just a bit. "Ah well."

"Ah, looks like Ino's getting bored." Hinata noted, as she watched the blonde girl, pull out a rope, while grinning at Sakura.

"Mmm, well, Sakura." Ino noted casually as she grinned at her pink haired fellow kunoichi. "It's been fun, but I think Gaara's been without his lap warmer long enough."

"She's not wrong." Gaara admitted to those nearby once more.

"Great, my whole family is a bunch of perverts." Temari sighed slightly before burying her face in her hands.

"If we include you in that statement?" Hinata spoke up, lips twitching slightly. "Why yes, you are."

"I'm cool with that." Kankuro noted with a slight shrug of his shoulders, ignoring the way his sister glared at him. "Would be SOMETHING we had in common finally."

"What do you think you're going to do with that?" Sakura said with a wariness in her eyes as she watched Ino lightly crack the rope like a whip.

"Oh this?" Ino grinned as she held up the rope, before smiling innocently. "This was just to keep you distracted from that!" The blonde finished with a flourish as she gestured behind the pink haired kunoichi.

Whirling as she leaped away from where Ino gestured, Sakura brought her kunai up to guard against the threat of…. Nothing?

"Sucker!" Ino's voice called out as suddenly Sakura could feel the blonde's rope snaking out and wrapping about her body with a mind of its own. "Gotcha!"

"HEY!" Sakura immediately struggled to bring her kunai up to the rope, to cut herself free from the entanglements, even as she felt her wrists pulled tightly together, followed immediately by the rope lashing over her hands, binding them together and preventing her from being able to saw down into the bindings. "Dammit!"

As the pink haired kunoichi struggled to free her arms and hands as they were pulled back against her chest, Ino produced a second rope that she lashed out at the girl's legs, quickly binding them together as they snaked up and took a most… interesting shape on Sakura's body. "While I'm no Naruto-kun, I've got enough chakra and control to pull off this move!"

Sakura glared at the girl who walked steadily closer to her, feeding the ropes that wrapped her up, slowly almost mummifying the girl. "I'll get you for this Ino!"

"Eh, I'm sure when you look back on things later on, you'll thank me." Ino shot back before she crouched down and pressed a kunai to her opponent's neck, before glancing up at the proctor. "Well?"

"Winner, Ino Yamanaka," the man quickly agreed with a cough and a nod as he grinned slightly in amusement as Inoichi did a little victory dance when he thought no one was paying attention.

"All right, now lemme out of this thing, Ino!" Sakura grumbled. "You won already."

"Mmm… nope!" Ino grinned back at the girl as she reached down, and with a grunt, lifted her up and tossed her over her shoulder. "Ugh, what're you eating these days, Sakura? You weigh a ton!"

"Ino! Lemme down!" Sakura fought back with all the fury and protest she could muster, and squirmed something fierce!

"Gimme a sec." Ino shot back as she walked up the stairs, carrying the still struggling Sakura, before she walked over to Gaara and dropped the helpless girl into his lap. "There you go, one trussed up lap warmer, ready to go!"

"Thank you." Gaara responded simply. "Was this supposed to be an exchange of goods, or should I simply have some money deposited in your account?"

"Hmmm…" Ino tapped her lower lip thoughtfully before grinning back at the boy. "I'll let you know later."

"Very well." Gaara nodded contentedly as he pulled Sakura back against his chest and grinned slightly.

"I'm not a teddy bear you know." Sakura grumbled slightly even as she allowed herself to be held against the boy's chest.

"No." He agreed with a firm nod. "Much nicer."

"So, that leaves you, me, Temari and horn dog." Naruto noted to Hinata as he watched the board, giving her a light squeeze as he pursed his lips.

"Think we could switch to a marital battle instead of a martial if it comes down to us?" Hinata asked playfully, her brows waggling suggestively.

"Only if I'm allowed time to get the popcorn." Ino interrupted, before pausing lightly. "Oh, and plucking out Kiba's eyeballs."

"That would be preferable," Hinata agreed, glaring at Kiba before the board flashed and a grin blossomed on her face. "But apparently unnecessary."

Hinata Hyuga Vs. Kiba Inuzuka

"Well, at least he'll be properly tenderized for Tsume,"Anko noted with a wry chuckle as she lightly shook her head, leaning against Kurenai. "How much you think she'll leave of him, eh, Nai-chan?"

"Hmm..." Kurenai shrugged slightly before she looked back at her compatriot. "Well, she might make it difficult to give Tsume grand babies..."

"Eh, that's what she's got Hana for." Anko shot back with a dismissive wave of her hand, before grinning in a predatory manner at the red eyed woman. "Plus... I think Hinata wants to humiliate him more than anything."

"That does seem to be her general idea." Kurenai admitted, before shrugging slightly. "Well, lets sit back and watch the show."

"Might as well."

While Kiba eagerly jumped down onto the Tower flower, Hinata gracefully leaned in, and gave Ino and Naruto each a soft kiss on their lips, before carefully removing her coat, revealing the lavender and black top she wore underneath. Handing it to Naruto, she offered him a quick smile before slowly walking her way down the stairs. The instant her eyes had left her teammates, they had locked onto Kiba in a cold, piercing menace that followed the wild haired boy where ever he went.

When she reached her position, opposite Hinata, he grinned down at the puppy residing in his coat. "Ready to show them what we're capable of, Akamaru?"

In response, the dog barked loudly, shaking its head with an almost frantic force as he scrambled out of his resting place and then darted over to Hinata, whining softly as he executed the most devastating weapon in his arsenal. The authentic puppy dog eyes pleading. Blinking in shock for a moment, Kiba suddenly growled angrily. "HEY! Get back here you traitor!"

Akamaru in response, barked once at his usual partner, before lifting up his rear end, lifting hist tail as he firmly, and meaningfully displayed his hind quarters to the boy before barking back at the boy. The message was quite clear, especially when the dog sniffed in the air, then kicked up a bit of dust in the boy's direction. Turning his head back to Hinata again, he gave a pleading whine to the girl.

"No fair! She's stealing my nin dog!" Kiba growled as he pointed an accusatory finger at Hinata, and looked pleadingly over at the proctor.

Said proctor merely coughed and shrugged back at the boy. "Not my fault your dog's smarter than you are, kid."

"Awww, don't worry Akamaru." Hinata cooed down at the canine before picking him up and cuddling him lightly against her chest for a moment as she lightly stroked his fur. "I never blamed you when Kiba's being a stupid, perverted jerk."

"Is it wrong to be jealous of a dog right now?" Ino noted with a slight pout on her lips as she watched Akamaru happily licking the giggling Hinata's face in thanks.

"You want to be licking Hinata-chan's face right now?" Naruto asked with a quirking amusement on his lips.

"I was referring to the being held to her nice, warm chest." Ino countered dryly before lightly tapping her lower lip. "Though, she certainly is tasty."

"You'll get no argument from me on that, Ino-chan." Naruto chuckled just a bit, his eyes lightly sparkling with amusement.

As Hinata was scratching the ears of Kiba's most powerful ninja weapon, the proctor offered up a soft cough. "Might I suggest saving the conversion of the nin dog for another time? I'm going to guess you're abstaining from the match, Akamaru was it?"

The dog immediately barked and shook its head as it gave Hinata one last lick before dropping down onto the floor, growling in the direction of his partner. Staring back at the puppy with wide, disbelieving eyes, Kiba's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "Akamaru?! Come on, buddy! Pal! Don't do this to me! I'll... I'll... I'll give you a month's worth of steaks!"

Pausing, Akamaru sat on his haunches in brief contemplation, before looking up at Hinata speculatively. Giggling softly, she casually tapped her chin in thought before countering. "I'll brush your fur." She paused before giving a clarifier. "No bows, no ribbons, just a nice, firm, brushing."

Akamaru immediately gave a dismissive sniff in Kiba's direction before barking in agreement with Hinata. Kiba's eyes bugged out in response as he couldn't help but stutter out a response. "B-b-buddy! You- You're giving up a month of steaks for... for... GROOMING?!"

For a moment, the dog paused, before turning his attention, at Kiba for a moment, before glancing back at Hinata, before giving him a look that most assembled people interpreted as "Dude, have you seen her? What the hell do you think?!" Still, the few others took it mainly to mean that a month worth of steaks didn't make up for the his being an idiot, and Hinata offering him brushed fur and attention.

"Akamaru! We're supposed to be partners!" Kiba whined slightly as he crossed his arms about his chest, sulking loudly.

In response, Akamaru placed a paw over his face and shook his head, before pointing at the the boy for a moment as he shook his head. It was almost more than he could bare to take. Giggling in response, Hinata reached down and scritched lightly behind his ears. "Don't worry, why don't you go up and say hi to Ino-chan? I'm sure she'll be happy to pet you."

Barking in agreement the dog cast Kiba a long, pitying glance before sniffing slightly and almost regally trotting up the stairs.

Watching the display, Baki shook his head in wonder and amusement. "Well, I'll say this, the leaf has some of the most interesting nin I've ever come across."

"What? Kiba and Akamaru?" Anko glanced over at the Sand nin. "Eh, Akamaru's the brains of the team. I'm sure you've heard about Konoha's nin dogs before."

"Well, yes..." Baki admitted before watching as the dog rose up the steps with its head held high before almost parading over to the blonde couple watching things. "I just wasn't aware they were so... easily swayed."

"Ha!" Anko laughed softly. "Usually they're the most loyal partners you can get. Akamaru's just smart enough to know when his partner brought something on himself, and he wanted to make sure Hinata knew he had nothing to do with it."

"That little girl is that powerful?" Baki responded as he arched a brow. "I've heard about the prowess of the Hyuuga in battle, but... "

"That 'little girl' as you call her, about made me piss myself the first time I met her." Anko corrected with a grin. "She's damned scary when she wants to be."

"Well, she also knew how to threaten you." Kurenai noted dryly with a soft chuckle.

"True, but still... scary girl." Anko shivered slightly as she leaned back against Kurenai.

"Anymore negotiations to get out of the way?" The proctor chuckled softly as he looked from the still flummoxed Kiba to Hinata.

"I'm good." Hinata declared sweetly as she slowly stretched out then shifted into a variant of the jyuken stance. "Ready whenever you are, Proctor."

"Then, Begin!" The man shot out before jumping back with a grin as Hinata immediately surged forward.

"What huh?! Hey I wasn't ready!" Kiba immediately protested as he frantically started dodge out of the way of Hinata's focused onslaught.

"I suppose I really should send Tsume some flowers or something." Hiashi noted as he watched how the woman in question's son frantically tried to dodge the cold rage of Hinata's assault.

"... You sure you want to do that, Hiashi?" Inoichi noted, a touch of concern in his eyes.

"Go for it!" Anko called out, practically leering at Hiashi. "I could use the entertainment!"

"Why would that..." Hiashi started to ask, his brow scrunching up slightly in confusion.

"Hiashi-sama, I know you spend most of your time in the Hyuuga Compound..." Kurenai began delicately.

"Or at the club." Inoichi added, grinning slightly with a wink at his friend.

"Do you want me to tell your daughters about that place?" Kurenai asked with a tight lip glare directed at the two men.

Said men shared a look, before bursting out in laughter together, before Hiashi spoke up, tears almost glistening in his eyes. "Well, Kurenai-san, you've been spending more time with our daughters lately than we do.. you tell us, how do YOU think they'd react to learning about the club?"

Kurenai opened her mouth to respond, before Anko cut her off with a smirk. "We'd never get any training done, they'd be dragging Naruto-kun there every day."

"If you're lucky enough to see them once a week." Inoichi added before shrugging slightly and chuckling. "So, you were explaining to my friend, Hiashi, why its such a bad idea for him to send Tsume flowers in apology?"

"Considering the last one was Kiba and Hana's father, and he hadn't shown any interest in her previously?" Kurenai spoke up, smirking slightly. "I think she might get the wrong impression."

"Hmmm... She's a very strong, assertive woman, isn't she?" Hiashi noted, a touch of drool almost forming in the corner of his mouth.

"Hinata would never forgive you if Kiba ended up as her brother." Inoichi pointed out, shattering Hiashi's little day dream.

"Well, of course." Hiashi quickly regained his composure, nodding with a stern look up on his face. "However, there is nothing wrong... with fostering positive relationships between Konoha's clans."

"... Just please for the love of kami, remember the silencing seals." Inoichi groaned softly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can still remember still remember the nights before Tsume chased off Kiba's father."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Hiashi sniffed slightly before he turned his attention back to were a Hinata had cornered a now limping Kiba, the boy's eyes wide and fearful as he stared up at the girl.

"Mr. Snuggly-Pants." Inoichi responded with an absolutely straight face as he continued to watch the scene unfolding below them.

Hiashi made a momentary strangling sound as his face actually flushed slightly in response, though he did bow his head in acknowledgement as he watched Kiba now attempting to crawl away, both his legs completely disabled. "It would seem Hinata is taking her time..."

"So it would seem, Hiashi." Inoichi agreed with a slight grin on his lips.

"Now, Kiba." Hinata said sweetly as she casually stalked behind him, watching as he struggled to speak with his paralzyed throat, frantically, desperately gesturing towards the Proctor... who seemed preoccupied reading a book. " You've really been a very, very bad little boy."

The boy frantically started clawing at the dirt trying to drag himself further and further away from the girl as she sweetly continued to talk to him. "I considered just what I was going to do to you... Was I going to destroy your sense of smell, and completely ruin you as an Inuzuka?"

She paused a moment as she let her words sink in her head canted to the side as she looked up thoughtfully while lightly tapping her cheek with her finger. "Of course, the most obvious thing was to completely destroy the usefulness of your little friend..."

As a frightened whine came from above her, Hinata shot the pup a reassuring look. "Not you Akamaru, his other... much, much smaller, little friend."

Sighing in relief, Akamaru relaxed back against Ino's scritching fingers, once more watching quietly as Kiba struggled like mad to escape the girl while she continued. "But, finally, here we are... amongst our peers, in front of our teachers, in front of the Hokage himself... and you're the one, crawling, whimpering and helpless..." She pursed her lips, before pulling back, smiling sweetly at the proctor. "Mr. Proctor? I think he's ready to forfeit now."

Seeing Kiba's frantic nods, the proctor shrugged slightly. "Winner, Hinata Hyuuga."

As the medic nins quickly gathered up Kiba to convey him to the medical wing, Hinata sauntered back up the stairs as Naruto turned his eyes to Temari. "Well, it's down to just you and me, my dear."

"So it would seem." Temari arched a brow as she watched the girls both snuggle against the blonde boy as she quickly repressed an angry surge of jealousy pulsing through her. "Shall we then?"

As he gave a soft kiss to each of his teammates, neither opponents needed to look at the board to know what it now read.

-Temari of the Desert Vs. Naruto Uzumaki-

Jumping up to the railing, Naruto turned around and offered up a salute to the rest of the group before smiling as he let himself fall backwards. He carefully twisted during his descent, his black coat flapped out, and billowing softly around him as he landed in a crouch. Moving to his feet, he watched as Temari knelt on her fan and glided across the room on it in a slow, graceful descent until she flipped gracefully to the ground and settled the heavy iron fan next to her with a smirk.

"Ready to lose short stuff?" Temari shot out as she shifted lightly, almost lazily leaning up against her fan, before twitching slightly as she saw what he was doing.

Quickly scribbling away in a notebook, the boy was grinning madly to himself, muttering audibly for the rest of the room to hear. "Oooh, that's a good idea… yes yes… That will work niiiiiiicely!"

"Hey!" Temari growled slightly, pouting as she glared over at the boy. "Quit ignoring me! Proctor?!"

The proctor himself had inched over to Naruto, and was looking over his shoulder as he coughed politely for a change. "New inspiration?"

"Mhmhmhm!" The boy quickly nodded his head as his messy scrawl flashed across the page. "Yesssss! Oooh that works…"

The proctor took a moment to decipher the messy scrawl before letting out a slow, low whistle of appreciation. "Damn, that's good."

"Yesssss!" Naruto nodded his head almost violently as he continued to madly scribble across the page.

"Hello! We're supposed to be having a match here!" Temari grumbled slightly, crossing her arms about her chest and pouting lightly.

"The artistic process cannot be rushed!" The proctor declared firmly, crossing his arms about his chest and nodding sagely next to an eagerly agreeing Naruto.

"It must be, like a fine wine, properly, and patiently cultivated." Baki's voice sternly lectured down at Temari. "Temari, you should know this!"

Temari stared a moment, before dropping her face into her palm and sighing heavily with a slight grumble. "This place is contagious."

"And you're already infected." Naruto noted, before his eyes lit up. "Oooooh! Thanks, Temari-chan! That's another great ideas!" And with that the fury of his scribbles increased, and in fact he popped out a clone whom he quickly handed a spare pen and notebook to, the pair scribbling away like mad.

"Ooh, that's good." The proctor noted as his eyes bounced back and forth between the two Narutos' notebooks. "That's even better… Ouch, hate to be that guy… Naughty, naughty."

Temari sighed again as she lightly palmed her cheek in annoyance before grumbling again. "Stupid friggin' authors… I couldn't get a nice, normal, ninja, noooo I had to get the one that writes the books everyone loves."

"Aww, poor Temari-chan." A pair of voices purred in her ear, causing the girl to almost yelp and jump in surprise at the two Naruto clones that appeared behind her. "We'll help you relax!"

"What?! Hey! Sto-! Ooooh!" Temari's struggles immediately stopped as she practically melted into the skillful fingers of the clones. "Damn, that's good."

"Lesson One, Lee." Hinata spoke up as she turned to the bushy browed boy who immediately had a notebook and pen of his own in hand, looking attentively at the girl. "Girls LOVE a good massage."

"Temari-chan expecially." Ino winked at the boy, who blushed lightly but nodded quickly.

"Do you think… Naruto-sama would be willing… to teach me?" The boy said hopefully as he watched in awe how quickly he reduced Temari to a quivering, purring state.

"Oh, I'm sure we can convince Temari-chan to help too." Ino offered with a wicked grin on her lips.

"Really?" Lee said hopefully his eyes glistening with hopeful, unshed tears.

"It'll just take… the proper convincing." Hinata grinned back at the boy before leaning into Ino.

"All right, all done!" Naruto declared happily as he took his notebooks back and banished his clones, leaving a suddenly off balance Temari to almost fall down on her ass before she managed to steady herself on her fan.

"No fair!" The blonde girl half whined, her face flushed slightly as she glared back at her opponent. "You can't get me all wound up like that and then pull it out from under me!"

"Would you rather I wound you up until you popped, leaving you dazed, unable to focus and drooling happily while the match started, and I had no trouble at all tying you up, and presenting you to Lee?" Naruto countered with a simple little grin on his face. "I could do that if you'd like!"

Temari blushed brightly as she shifted slightly, unconsciously rubbing her thighs together before she started and glared back at the boy. "I swear, every day I spent in this village I become more of a pervert! Is there something in the water?"

"Hmm…" Naruto stroked his chin lightly, before shrugging slightly. "Wouldn't know. But, from what I understand… Ninja Hotties: Bondage Issue?" He offered up a slight smirk on his lips.

The blush remained full force as the girl grumbled slightly and crossed her arms with a pout. "Fine, you win."

"Oh, forfeiting already?" The proctor noted with a shrug. "All right, Winner…"

"NO!" Temari hastily shouted out, glaring at the innocently smiling, sickly man. "The argument, not the match!"

"Oh, then begin!" The man responded, still smiling innocently as she gawked at him while Naruto burst into motion, suddenly multiplying from one into 30.

"…What? Hey!" Temari growled as she swung up her fan, the iron weapon spreading open as she darted backwards, using a sweep to send a gust of wind at the rushing clones as well as sending her back wards further and faster. "Grrrr!"

The clones scattered in response, a few of them vanishing in puffs of smoke as the rest spread out, darting at her like a small swarm as suddenly she was dodging chains and ropes from a variety of different directions. Twitching just a bit, she swung the fan hard, her entire body twisting in full rotation as a blast of air ripped out at all sides with enough force to divert the variety of lengths away from her before she immediately started to race away. There were fewer clones now, she noted as she let out a blast here and there, the numbers slowly dwindling as the boy seemed content to merely continue tossing chains and ropes at her through his clones.

Her eyes narrowed, she growled slightly as she furiously ran her mind through the what she'd seen, trying to figure out just what the boy's strategy was. He was smarter than this, she knew it. Despite the casual, natural air of carefree mischief he exuded, she'd seen enough to know he was both cunning and insightful. He had something planned, she just wasn't sure what.

Then, as she reached beneath the overhanging railing, she saw a sudden triumphant grin on one of the black clad figures, as suddenly a voice rang out. "SPIDER'S WEB!"

Her eyes wide, she tried to jump away as ropes suddenly exploded towards her, latching onto the railing above her as they moved to lash out and grab hold of her. Twisting wildly, she immediately brought her fan racing down throwing a sudden, cutting gale at the chakra laced ropes. As they diverted away, she landed unsteadily on her feet back in position where Naruto had begun his assault.

And suddenly she could feel hands on her ankles, suddenly tugging back hard as rock transformed into a clone. As she shifted around quickly slamming her heavy, iron fan down towards the clone's head, she none the less was thrown off guard enough that when the clone dispersed, she began to fall herself. Only, to find herself caught in a pair of familiar arms.

"Oh, shit," was a all she managed before she looked up to see the figure smiling back at her, before suddenly exploding into a eagerly seeking mess of ropes that bound her tightly and allowed her to continue her descent to the floor, falling helplessly mummified.

Naruto casually picked up her fan, grunting slightly as he felt the weight before handing it over to one of his clones as he crouched down and lightly patted the top of a glaring Temari's head. "You did great, Temari-chan. Took me a lot longer to get you corralled like I needed than I thought it would." He paused a moment, before grinning at her. "Ready to admit defeat, or do I need to get creative?"

She stared at him for a long moment in utter contemplation , debating as she tested the tightness of the ropes on her body, grunting slightly as they only seemed to tighten instead of loosen in response. Finally, she sighed and grunted as she hung her head in defeat. Turning over to the proctor, as he scooped Temari up, Naruto grinned at the man. "I think that's that."

"Then, Winner: Naruto Uzumaki." The proctor coughed before looking up at the Hokage.

"Very good." The man smiled back down at the genin as he slowly stood up and addressed them all. "You've all done a fantastic job getting this far. The final stage of the exam, a single elimination tournament, will be held in one month's time." Pausing he gestured towards where Inoichi had dropped down onto the tower floor, holding up a bag. "Please, will all the winners draw their lots?"

It took only a few moments for the winners to collect their numbers, and for Naruto to hand over the still bound Temari to a brightly blushing Rock Lee, before the tournament seeds were revealed.

Gaara of the Desert Vs. Naruto Uzumaki

Shikamaru Nara Vs. Ino Yamanaka

Shino Aburame Vs. Sasuke Uchiha

Hinata Hyuuga Vs. Rock Lee

Gaara merely looked at Naruto for a moment, before slowly inclining his head. The blonde ninja met the boy's eyes, and nodded back, a slight little smile on his lips. A smile that hesitantly Gaara matched with one of his own, grateful for the lack of fear in his friend's eyes.

"Oooh, Looks like its going to be you and me, Shikamaru!" Ino said with a wicked grin as she slung her arm around the boy's shoulder. "Just like old times, neh?"

"Someone, just kill me now." Shikamaru sighed slightly as he slumped forward, grumbling just a bit as he hung his head. "Too damned troublesome."

"Yosh!" Lee grinned brightly at Hinata, his eyes almost burning as he pumped his fist. "I look forward to testing myself against you! To see how brightly…."

"Lee," Hinata cut him off, smiling slightly at the eager boy. "Let's just leave it at looking forward to testing yourself against me, shall we? I think we've already talked about the… connotations that might be had from all that."

Lee hung his head, but slowly nodded. "Yes, I look forward to facing you, Hinata-san!"

"Well, things are sure going to be interesting, eh Nai-chan?" Anko grinned at her friend. "Now we just gotta make sure all of em get the right amount of training."

"Yes, should be most interesting, indeed," Kurenai agreed, lightly tapping her lower lip in contemplation, plans already starting to pop into her mind.

Author's Notes- Mmm… well, next chapter should be what a lot of people have been eagerly awaiting… Naruto's face to face meeting with his infamous rival in the publishing world.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter: 17

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Author's notes: Bit by bit, getting back into the groove.

-o-o-o-

"Mah, ready to go, Kin-chan?" Naruto asked as he casually stepped into the cave, only to blink slightly at the spectacle in front of him.

Arching a brow, the boy could only shake his head in disbelief as he asked the first question that came to mind. "Where did you get all that chocolate and whipped cream?"

-o-o-o-

"Well brats, I have to say, we're impressed." Anko grinned happily at her three genin as, before her eyes flickered over to the kneeling, and blushing Kin next to Naruto's feet before admitting. "VERY impressed."

"Mah, it was nothing." Naruto responded with a shrug as he lightly ran his fingers through Kin's hair.

The former Sound kunoichi frowned, even as she pressed back into that touch. "Are you saying I'm easy, Naruto-sama?"

"Possibly." The boy admitted with a grin.

"Definitely." Ino agreed as she smiled teasingly at Kin.

"Absolutely." Hinata finished as she winked at the girl.

The girl sniffled slightly and grumbled as she continued to kneel there, leaning into Naruto's fingers. "What'd I do to deserve such treatment, huh?"

"You used to serve Orochimaru." Anko pointed out with a light frown as she fingered a kunai, causing the girl to shrink back reflexively from the woman.

"You were part of a team assigned to assassinate a member of our ninja forces." Kurenai continued, a brow arching up slightly as she studied the girl in front of her.

"You called Hinata-chan a bitch." Naruto pointed out with a grin.

"You got to play around with whipped cream and chocolate with Naruto-kun and I wasn't there to enjoy it!" Ino pouted.

"They were only clones!" Kin whined softly even as she shrank down against Naruto's leg. "You aren't going to get rid of me, are you, Naruto-sama?"

"Dammit!" Hinata growled softly before pouting as she crossed her arms about her chest. "It's like kicking a little puppy. She's just so cute and vulnerable!"

"A cute, vulnerable ninja assassin." Naruto pointed out as he lightly patted Kin atop her head. "Who would have happily killed us at the drop of a hat less than a week ago."

"But, I didn't know just what you could do with me if I was a good girl then, Naruto-sama." Kin quickly pointed out, before grinning brightly. "But, if you don't trust me, I recommend tying me up tightly and keeping me in your apartment under lock and key!"

"Lucky bitch." Ino and Hinata muttered in unison, lightly glaring at Kin as she barked cutely in response.

"Just remember you three." Anko lectured with a slight smirk. "She might qualify as your ninja tool now, but you can't use her in the tournament. Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, now would we?"

"I know, I know." Naruto waved his hand lightly as he smirked a bit. "I've gotta keep her under lock and key…" He paused a moment, before grinning at his teammates. "You girls will let me know when you want to borrow her, won't you? Since we won't be seeing too much of each other for the next month…"

"Huh? Wha, why?!" Ino stared back at the blonde boy, whimpering softly. "Kitty needs her Cuddly lovin!"

"Um, we're all three in the final matches?" Naruto put for, staring at the adorable pout that Ino put on. "That means, training separately, so if/when we end up fighting against each other, we can impress one another with how far we've come?"

"Meh." Hinata grumbled softly as she looked at Ino. "That sucks. Puppy doesn't get her Cuddling, or her Kittying."

"Come on." Anko chuckled softly as she looped her arm around Hinata's shoulder. "We're taking you all to the hot springs."

"All?" Kin spoke up, looking hopefully at the woman.

"Fine, you can bring your little pet too." Anko rolled his eyes as she smirked just a bit. "Just make sure and keep her properly leashed at all times. Wouldn't want to break the law, now would we?"

Instantly Kin had her leash on, and held the handle in her eager mouth, her eyes shining eagerly.

"And do a Transformation." Kurenai added, looking the girl over. "Just to be sure. Something hmm…" She lightly tapped her lower lip in consideration. "What do you think girls?"

"Pink hair maybe?" Ino offered, before blushing at the look the rest of the group gave her. "What?!"

"I think someone has a bit of a crush they don't want to admit to." Hinata teased slightly before looking Kin over critically, before pursing her lips slightly and nodding. "Blue short hair, red eyes, pale skin. Now."

Blushing quietly, Kin none the less did as she was directed, her features shifting at the girl's command to take on the new shape. Nodding in satisfaction, Hinata pet the girl atop her head before turning to the rest of the group. "Well?"

"For some reason, Hinata-sama, I feel an odd urge to bring about the end of the world." Kin stated in an almost monotonous voice, before pausing a moment, looking thoughtfully at Naruto. "Though, I want Naruto-sama to bang my brains out more so."

"Okaaaaaaay...." Ino eyed the girl before glancing at a pouting Hinata. "Hinata-chan? Next time, Naruto-kun picks the look."

"But..." The girl pouted even more as she looked pleadingly at Naruto.

"That, and pilot gigantic creatures, born of the flesh of fallen angels and powered by the souls of the damned." Kin blinked slightly, as she looked carefully at Hinata. "I think Ino-sama has the right idea."

"Fine." Hinata pouted even more as she crossed her arms about her chest. "Let's just get to the hot springs already."

Naruto grinned at the girl as he walked over, slinging an arm about her shoulder and grinning slightly. "Don't worry, Hinata-chan, you know we still love you."

Grinning slightly, the girl nodded in return even as she snuggled back against his warm body, almost purring softly as she could feel Ino slipping over to his other side. Glancing across Naruto's chest, Hinata offered her teammate a warm, gentle smile. Next to Kurenai and Anko, the blue haired, red-eyed Kin couldn't help but pout softly as she watched the display. "No fair, no snuggles for Kin-chan!"

"You get to stay with Naruto-kun." Ino shot back with a mild glare. "And don't think we've forgotten what you did with those clones!"

"Mmm I know I sure haven't." Naruto agreed, his eyes glazing over slightly as he remembered the memories his shadow clones had transmitted back to him. "Talk about a desert that leaves you hungry for more."

"Hmph!" Ino huffed slightly as she glared mildly at an innocently smiling back at her Kin. "Don't think I'm going to forgive you so easily, Kin-chan... Oh no, I shall have my vengeance upon you, and it will be GLORIOUS!"

"Um, will it include spankings?" Kin offered hopefully, her eyes gleaming.

"Yes!" Ino agreed quickly, drooling softly. "But, they shall be MY spankings, and you won't get any of them!"

"Um... You're going to punish her by getting punished yourself?" Kurenai clarified with a carefully arched brow.

"DIABOLICAL!" Kin stared back at Ino in a look of dawning horror. "How could you be so cruel, Ino-sama?! To see those wonderful, delicious spankings, and to be denied them!? NOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Yessss!" Ino grinned, her eyes taking on a distant, smoldering gleam. "I shall get Naruto-kun spankings! I shall get Hinata-chan spankings! I shall even get Kin-chan spankings! But, no spankings for you! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Nooooooooo!"

"She's going to punish her, by having her punish her?" Anko blinked, then blinked again. "I'm not sure if that's brilliant, or just plain... well you know."

"They say there's a fine line between brilliance and madness." Naruto noted with a sage nod. "Ino-chan just never can decide which side of the line she likes better."

"But they're both so much fun!" Ino pouted again as she lightly brushed her fingers beneath Naruto's coat. "Don't you think so, Naruto-kun?"

"Well, it does make certain nothing's ever boring with you three." Kurenai grinned slightly before she would casually look down at her nails. "Hmm... and it does remind me, Anko-chan? It's your turn to go to the store."

"Wha...?!" Anko blinked slightly before glaring at her friend. "I went last time!"

"So?" Kurenai arched a brow slightly as she would continue following her their genin team.

"If I went last time, how come I have to go this time?!" Anko was pouting now, offering up wide, rapidly blinking eyes to the woman.

"Because." The red eyed woman responded back with a simple, sage little nod of her head.

"Because what?" Eyes narrowed as she glared slightly back at her teammate and more, as she would lightly cross her arms about her chest.

"Because, I said so." Kurenai responded back, before grinning playfully as she gave the woman a swat on her ass through her coat.

"Oh, as long as you have a good reason then!" Beaming, Anko nodded her head and followed after their genin team.

Kurenai blinked for a moment, standing there as she stared at Anko's advancing backside, before glaring at her friend. "Wait a minute, all these years, and all I had to do, to get you to do what I wanted, was to tell you because 'I said so?!'"

"Well, that, be in a relationship with me, where you know where my tendencies and likes lie, and where I'm beneath you in the totem pole." Anko paused a moment as she glanced back at her friend, and pursed her lips for a moment. "Oh, and slapping my ass helps."

Naruto blinked slightly before shaking his head and continuing on, pointedly choosing to ignore the conversation between his instructors. "I see nuting! I hear nuting! I know NUTING!"

"Oh, I don't know about that Naruto-sama." Kin purred as she came up behind him, lightly nipping at his ear as he could feel the brush of her collar and leash against his jacket. "I'd say you know more than a little bit."

"True." Naruto admitted a moment, before twitching a bit. "There are just some things, as much as I already suspect, I don't need verified."

"Naruto-kun, since when are you bothered by Anko-sensei and Kurenai-sensei talking about their sex lives?" Hinata blinked slightly as she looked at her teammate oddly. "Normally, you're teasing them about it non-stop."

"I..." Naruto paused a moment, before frowning slightly as he froze where he was standing... before whirling around, escaping the girls as he pointed his finger accusingly at Kurenai. "KURENAI-SENSEI!!! HOW DARE YOU!? How dare you inflict a sense of shame and embarrassment upon me?!"

"Pretty easily actually." The woman smiled back at her student, a sweet, angelic smile she sent so easily to the boy. "It was rather amusing at that."

"Oi, Nai-chan!" Anko frowned at her co-teacher and crossed her arms sternly about her chest. "No going around fucking with our student's minds!"

When the rest of the group looked at Anko with a mixture of awe and disbelief, she revealed a wicked, sadistic grin on her lips. "That's MY job!"

"Fine." Kurenai pouted slightly herself, before she grabbed hold of Anko and held her threateningly at the group. "I've got an Anko, and I'm not afraid to use her!"

Naruto slowly arched a brow as he looked from Kurenai, to Anko, then back. "Mah, I can top that."

"Oh?" Kurenai arched a brow as she smirked slightly at her pupil. "And just how would you do that?"

"I've got a Hinata-chan." Naruto jerked his thumb slightly over towards where the Hyuga girl beamed happily back at him and smirked just a bit. "And she WANTS me to use her."

"Scary Hyuga girl that wants to be used, trumps an Anko you're willing to use." Ino spoke up with a sage nod while Kin rapidly nodded her head as she peaked out from where she'd hidden behind the trio. A position, directly peaking along said Hyuga's side, and nuzzling happily against her chest.

"How about against an Anko that wants to be used?" Kurenai offered as she glanced down at the way her friend moaned softly and ground back against her hips with a blush.

"Mmm... Keep this up, Nai-chan, and I most certainly will!" Anko shot a lecherous grin over her shoulder as she winked at her friend, leaning back against her with a purr. "Getting all possessive and manhandling me?! Ooooh..."

"I suppose not." Kurenai resisted the urge to palm her face as Anko nipped lightly at her throat, sending a shiver down her spine. "BAD ANKO-CHAN!"

"Mmm but you're so... tasty!" Anko grinned, lightly flicking her tongue against the spot she'd just licked. "Can't I just... enjoy a little taste, hmmm?"

"We're in public!" Kurenai was blushing steadily brighter and brighter red as Anko ground slowly, sensually against her.

"Sooo.....?" Another lick, slower, teasing and nibble that followed up in its wake. "Let em watch and see how its done."

"Umm... umm...." Kurenai whimpered slightly, her face a glistening crimson as she shut her eyes, shuddering against the sensations Anko was eliciting from her. "Jiraiya! Jiraiya's in town!"

Anko immediately froze, before sighing as she pulled back, pouting lightly. "Fine. But as soon as we get home, you're following through!"

Kurenai sighed softly in relief, before she felt the spike of killer intent emanating from her students. Slowly turning her head, her eyes immediately widened as realization hit. She'd just informed Naruto that his hated writer was in town.

"That... that SLUT PEDDLER is in MY town?!" Ino and Hinata had both grabbed hold of each of Naruto's arms, while Kin grabbed him by his waist, instinctively the three holding the smoldering teen where he was as he clenched his fingers tightly together. "When I get my hands on him...!"

"You told him, Nai-chan." Anko smirked slightly as she winked at the other woman, before sauntering past the three girls holding back the boy, and lightly ruffling his blonde hair. "Eh, give it a rest kid. Besides, if the snake bastard's in town, we need that 'slut peddler' here too."

Slowly Naruto calmed himself down enough to clench his jaw and growl a response. "Fine... But all bets are off if he tries anything with my girls!"

"Whatever you say brat, whatever you say." Anko laughed softly as she nodded and then smirked again. "Come on, let's get you relaxed, I'm sure we can find a place where we can all just relax as a team."

Naruto paused, before pursing his lips as he lightly smiled to the girls before looking back at Anko. "Why, Anko-chan, are you hitting on me?! What would Iruka say?!"

"Mah... That I'm damned troublesome?" Anko offered with a laugh before she kept on heading towards the hot springs.

"Something like that." Naruto agreed before rolling his eyes and leading his girls onwards.

-o-o-o-

"Stupid no sharing springs because of that damned Jiraiya." Naruto grumbled as he trudged past the hot spring's walls, hearing a familiar set of giggles rippling through the air. "They're talking about me I know it!"

Pausing a moment, he froze as he heard a rather lecherous, and decidedly male giggle in the bushes next to the wall. Eyes narrowing darkly, the boy growled slightly before tapping the seal inside his sleeve and then tossing a chain directly into the bushes. A smirk of satisfaction blossomed across his lips as he could hear the startled yelp of surprise, before a white haired man jumped out from the leaves.

"Oi! What's the big idea you brat!?" The man glared pointedly at the boy as he huffed slightly and glared at the kid retracting the chain into his sleeve.

"No peeking on my girls, you damned pervert." The boy growled, his eyes flashing as he glared at the man.

"Pervert?!" The man snorted softly as he glared back at the boy, before smirking just a bit. "Bah, I am no mere pervert! I am a SUPER PERVERT!"

As the man slid into a smirking kabuki pose, Naruto twitched and suddenly flung a projectile directly towards the man, twitching just slightly as the man smirked and caught the projectile, before staring in shock at what he held in his hand.

"You… you… threw a butt plug at me?!" The man quickly dropped the gleaming rubber object and practically jumped away from it, staring between it and the boy. "And you call ME a pervert?!"

"You know a better way to shut up an asshole?" Naruto countered with a slight smirk as he would flick his wrists, and suddenly his knotted ropes dropped down out of his sleeves.

"Huh, that's not a bad joke! I can use that!" Cackling softly, the man seemed to completely ignore Naruto then as he quickly crouched down and scribbled away, giggling like mad as he did so.

"Use… that…?" A dangerous glint appeared in Naruto's eyes as he could feel the righteous fires of his muse spark and burn furiously inside of him.

"Of course! You should be honored!" The man bit his thumb and suddenly summoned up a massive toad as he posed atop it. "For I am Jiraiya! The Sannin's Toad Hermit! And the infamous writer of the beloved Icha Icha series!"

Whatever reaction the man had been expecting, it wasn't the near frothing berserker rage the boy suddenly exhibited. "YOU!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

"EEP!" Jiraiya blinked as he was thrown off his toad as the creature wisely unsummoned itself just as the ropes shattered the stone in front of him in chakra enhanced fury.

"Was it something I said?" Jiraiya stared in shock as he was driven back by the waves of killing intent backed rope strikes. When one strike came particularly close to a very valued, and delicate portion of his anatomy, the white haired man squeaked out. "HEY! I want to be able to use that!"

"You should've thought of that before you brought your filth into MY town you damned smut peddler!" Naruto snarled and swung his ropes even faster, letting them blur as they snaked towards the man.

"Smut peddler!?" Jiraiya growled as he was suddenly incased in a shield of spiky white hair. "I'll have you know Icha Icha is one of the finest series in the Elemental Countries!"

When his ropes only served to impale themselves on the spikes, the boy snarled and with drew them, , quickly replacing them with the heavy clinking of his chains as he swung them down at the man. "Disgusting, irredeemable filth!"

"Should we stop them?" Kurenai asked curiously as she tugged her towel tighter around her chest, while frowning at the ongoing fight between the two authors.

Anko turned her head and simply stared back at Kurenai. "What…?! You want to deny the brat his first chance at the old perv he gets?"

"He is, still a genin, Anko-chan." Kurenai pointed out and shook her head. "And despite what he pulls against the Jounin and ANBU, Jiraiya is none-the-less, on a whole other level."

It was then, that Jiraiya yelped and started to run towards the women and girls, his eyes wide with fear. "SOMEBODY STOP THAT MANIAC!!"

"Of course, the fact that he's a young, 13 year old genin with an axe to grind might also keep Jiraiya from getting too serious." Kurenai admitted with a sigh, even as Anko whistled innocently and tripped up the fleeing Jiraiya.

"WAAAH! OW!" Smacking face first into the cobbled stones, Jiraiya glared up at the woman. "Why the hell did you… Oh, its you. How've you been, Anko-chan?"

Jiraiya quickly rolled out of the way as the chain came crashing down on the spot he'd occupied only moment's later. Smirking Anko casually examined her nails. "Chan? Humph… Well, I've been helping my dear Nai-chan with our Genin team."

"Genin team…?" Jiraiya paled visibly as he ducked under another sweep of chain. "Sensei was actually crazy enough to put you in charge of a group of kids?!"

"Yup!" Anko nodded happily as she pointed to the still furious Naruto. "I see you've already met their team leader too!"

"Figures." The man twitched slightly, almost face faulting as he was smacked in the back of the head by another butt plug as he jumped out of the way of another chain. "Another…!? GAAAH Only you would train your genin to attack me on sight, Anko!"

"Oh, no I have nothing to do with this actually." Anko casually buffed her nails before she leaned over and wrapped her arm about Kurenai's shoulder. "Right Nai-chan?"

"Indeed." Kurenai smirked back with a sage nod as she would carefully wrap her arm about Anko's waist. "Naruto hates you all on his own." She paused slightly and lightly tapped her lower lip. "Something about peddling worthless smut."

"Mah, she does have a point Jiraiya-sama." Kakashi added as he appeared dangling from a nearby tree, while he read a copy of Sweet Silky Nights. "I'm just glad it's you this time, not me." The man offered his sensei's sensei an eye smile before resuming his reading.

"Kakashi!" Jiraiya shouted in relief before frowning as he saw the book in hand, and a glaring at the man. "How DARE YOU! Reading that… that… Have you no LOYALTY! NO HONOR?!"

"Mah." Kakashi rolled his eye slightly. "Who's the one that's getting attacked by the most feared genin Konoha's ever produced? Not even ANBU would help you right now."

"This brat?" Jiraiya looked back at the incised genin that was still trying to use his chains to squish him. "I'll admit, he's better than most, but, the most feared? Bah…"

Kakashi only smiled back at Jiraiya, as Naruto twitched again and growled. "Old man…"

Kurenai groaned loudly as she pointed an accusatory finger at Kakashi. "You did that on purpose!"

"Who, me?" Kakashi blinked innocently back at her. "Whatever did I do?"

"Well, you old pervert, it was nice knowing you!" Anko tossed out, grinning happily as she would wave at the man. "Be seeing you!"

"What the hell are you…?" Jiraiya snapped back in annoyance before he watched the blonde make a single sign, and suddenly, he was surrounded by a sea of black and blonde. "Oh, sweet mama toad!"

"You inspired Naruto to get serious." Kurenai deadpanned and shook her head.

"Not the brightest thing he could have done, was it?" Kakashi noted as he read through his book.

"You're an evil, devious man, when you want to be, Kakashi." Anko noted with a tone of respect in her voice as the three continued to chat as Jiraiya fought against the swarm of Shadow clones converging on him.

"Mah, I figured Naruto could use a newer, shinier target." Kakashi offered up with a grin.

"So, you set me up?" Jiraiya's voice growled from behind the silver haired jounin, who just smiled back at the slightly beaten form of Jiraiya that was standing on the tree behind him.

"Of course." Kakashi shot back, ignoring how Jiraiya still appeared to be combating the horde of Narutos. "You do deserve it after all."

"Brat." The man growled softly as he glared at the jounin, before shaking his head. "The kid's really something isn't he?"

"He regularly tests ANBU and jounin forces for their readiness and response times." Kakashi responded back and grinned a happy little grin. "And has turned the Academy into a regular war zone. The only instructor safe there anymore, is Iruka."

"A war zone?" Jiraiya blinked slightly and stared at the man. "And you're proud of that?"

"Prank war zone." Anko clarified with a smirk. "Lead by the Hokage's grandson and Hanabi Hyuga… Inspired by how their hero tests the ANBU forces."

Jiraiya blinked a moment again, before staring as he twitched slightly. "He PRANKS the ANBU?!"

"Yup!" Anko and Kakashi confirmed with a nod and a grin.

Jiraiya palmed his face and groaned, loudly. "He HAD to take after his mother."

"In more ways than one." Kakashi agreed, before blinking slightly, and quickly starting to inch away from Jiraiya. "Oh well, looks like you're break's over, you old perverted toad."

Jiraiya blinked slightly as he goggled at Kakashi. "HEY! You haven't called me that… Wait, what do you…"

SPLAT!

Jiraiya twitched as he was hit in the face by a balloon of pink paint. Slowly wiping it out of his eyes, he glared at Kakashi. "You know that was about to happen."

"Of course he did you old perverted idiot!" One of the Naruto's shot out as they glared back at the man. "I've gotten him plenty of times!"

Jiraiya twitched slightly again, before slowly, a dark, devious smile fell across his lips, and he slowly stood, looming over the boy. "Sarutobi-sensei never told you about your god father, did he?"

"Eh?" The Naruto's blinked in confusion, before glaring back at the man. "What does that have to do with anything? Guy's probably dead like they are."

"Oh no, Naruto Uzumaki… He's not dead…" Jiraiya's eyes were gleaming as he let off a slow, dark chuckle.

"Wait… how does he know my full name?" Naruto blinked again, a look of slowly dawning dread spilling through his gut.

"You see, young Uzumaki…" Jiraiya took a slow, whooshing breath, "I am your god father!"

"NOOOO!" Naruto stared in absolute shock as his clones recoiled in horror. "That's a LIE! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!"

"But it is, young Uzumaki!" Jiraiya cackled, a loud, booming thing as his arms lay crossed about his chest. "Look in your heart, and you know it to be true!"

"No! NOOOOO!" Naruto shook his head, his clones reflexively dispelling as he started up at the man, his most hated enemy, his most bitter rival with a look of pure, abject horror.

"Mah." Kakashi shrugged slightly as he lightly continued to read from his book. "Fraid so, Naruto. And… in truth, it's even worse."

"Worse?! How can it be worse?!" Naruto whimpered slightly as he stared in wide eyed shock at Kakashi. "That… that THING is my god father?! My bitterest rival?!?"

"Rival?" Jiraiya blinked slightly before looking curiously at Kakashi.

"He writes Sweet Silky Nights." The man clarified.

"Oh, then you're forgiven for your treacherous abandonment of Icha Icha." Jiraiya responded magnanimously, before resuming his maniacal look. "Yes! Worse! For you see, little Naruto-kun… your parents named you after the main character in my first book! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Popcorn?" Anko offered as Ino, Hinata and Kin finally showed up, while her eyes stayed glued to the show in front of her.

"What's going on?" Ino asked curiously as she dug into the offered snack.

"Jiraiya just revealed that Naruto is his godson." Kurenai responded as she absently took a handful of popcorn herself.

"Oooooh!" Kin stared intently at the scene. "Dramatic reveal!"

"Poor Naruto-kun," Hinata said sadly, even as she grabbed some of the popcorn for herself and settled in.

"We're not going to help him?" Kin asked carefully as she glanced between Hinata and Ino.

"No, we'll be there to comfort him when it's over." Ino clarified. "You don't really want to ruin a good dramatic moment."

"Oh, ok." Kin settled back down and resumed munching on her popcorn.

"Come, JOIN me!" Jiraiya's hand extended as his voice boomed ominously across the air. "Together, we could conquer the entire market!"

"I will never join the smut side!" Naruto shot back defiantly. "Your perversion destroys everything it touches! It turns men into weak, quivering perverts!"

"Hey!" Kakashi whined slightly. "I'm right here you know!"

"Kakashi, when was the last time you got laid?" Anko threw out, smirking slightly as she did so.

The silver haired jounin paused, looked up thoughtfully, before handing his head with a sigh. "I withdraw my objection."

"Good boy." Kurenai approved, smirking slightly.

"Don't forget Kankuro!" Ino added, as she shouted out from the sidelines.

"I've been trying to." Naruto shuddered slightly and shook his head as he glared at the man. "SEE?! See what your madness reduces men to?!"

"Mah, and you think you can do better, boy?!" Jiraiya smirked at him with a leer. "I am JIRAIYA! Women…"

"Run in fear as soon as they know who you are." Kurenai interrupted.

"Your powers are weak old man!" Naruto grinned triumphantly back at the outraged looking Jiraiya, his eyes gleaming.

"My powers are greater than you can imagine, boy!" Jiraiya shot back, angrily glaring at the young upastart.

"Where as, Me?" Naruto smirked slightly as he continued as if the man had never said a thing to begin with, before shifting just a bit and snapping his fingers as instantly Hinata and Ino darted out, grabbing hold of each of his arms in adoration, as Kin clutched at his leg.

"Naruto-saaaaaama!" The girls squealed happily as they ground softly against him in their toweled glory.

"My powers have surpassed yours." Naruto declared triumphantly as he crossed his arms about his chest and grinned broadly at the man.

"No fair! How come he gets the hot fan girls and I just get dirty perverted guys?" Jiraiya pouted slightly as he crossed his arms about his chest.

"He's hot?" Ino offered up, purring as she would lightly run her hand down Naruto's chest.

"He's got skills?" Hinata responded as she giggled at the firm possessive hand kneading her rump.

"He tastes absolutely heavenly covered in chocolate?" Kin leered up at him as she nuzzled at his knee.

"He doesn't leer and peep at girls while they're in a hot spring?" Anko offered as she smirked slightly and leaned into Kuranei.

"He takes care of his friends, and sets them up with hot girls?" Kurenai continued, smirking slightly as her eyes twinkled merrily.

"True, I did get Iruka, Anko-chan." Naruto admitted as he casually rubbed his chin. "And Hinata-chan got Ino-chan and Kin-chan."

"Don't forget Gaara and Sakura!" Ino pointed out with a smirk as she winked up at him.

"Temari and Lee could be partially attributed to you too." Hinata spoke up, looking down right bemused.

"And I'm sure you had SOMETHING to do with Hinata-chan and my fathers showing up all pimped out." Ino added, though she twitched slightly. "Though… I'm not sure I'm thankful for that."

"I only told Hiashi to go out and get laid!" Naruto protested immediately. "I take NO credit for the pimpification!"

"You told my father to go out and get laid?" Hinata asked, her pale eyes glittering carefully as she studied her male teammate.

"Of course I did!" Naruto glanced back at her, a grin on his face. "You know that's what Sensei would have wanted!"

"True." Hinata sighed, grudgingly admitting his point. "Mother always was a bit…"

"Wait… You're Hiashi's daughter?" Jiraiya spoke up, blinking at the girl, his eyes quickly widening. "And your mother…. Trained, Naruto?!"

"Mhm!" Hinata smiled brightly and nodded her head back at the man. "Yup!"

"Oh, sweet merciful Kami!" Jiraiya whimpered slightly, before his eyes stared at Ino. "You… you're not… Inoichi's girl, are you?"

"Oh, you know daddy?" Ino responded, smiling innocently at the man.

Jiraiya twitched slightly, before shaking his head. "Ok, lemme get this straight… Not only was he trained by your mother, but he gets you, and blondie there… the daughters of the two hottest, and most perverted kunoichi Konoha's ever had save for the brat's own mother… and some other girl?" He twitched again, before sighing. "Well, at least he didn't go to Iwa and steal a Tsuchi for his harem."

When both girls immediately glanced down at a brightly blushing Kin, the girl sighed slightly and pouted before cancelling her transformation, and sticking her tongue out at Jiraiya. "Jerk!"

Jiraiya took one look at Kin, then almost fell off the tree he was standing on, before whimpering slightly. "A Tsuchi?!"

"Kin-chan?" Naruto blinked slightly as he glanced down at the guilty looking girl.

"Um, didn't I mention I'm originally from a clan famous for producing beautiful, talented kunoichi schooled from birth in the arts of seduction and sensuality?" Kin smiled innocently up at the boy, still blushing brightly. "Must've slipped my mind."

Naruto twitched slightly as he would glare down at the girl, who blushed and hung her head even more. "Bad, Kin-chan." He paused before shrugging as he lightly patted her atop her head. "She's a rogue Tsuchi anyway."

"But…" Jiraiya blinked, his eyes widening even further. "Kin….? As in… KINUKO TSUCHI!?"

"EEP!" Kin immediately dove behind Naruto almost cowering there. "Nope, nu uh, no way! You're looking for the wrong girl! Honest! No Kinuko's here! Only one silly, lowly Kin!"

Naruto twitched slightly before reaching around, grabbing hold of Kin's collar and lightly tugging the girl back around. "Kin-chan… Explain."

"Um…" The girl fidgeted slightly as she looked shiftily one way then the other. "He's got me confused with someone else?"

"Girl, there's only been ONE rogue Tsuchi in the last 20 years." Jiraiya drawled. "And she'd be your age now."

"You sure I'm not just a girl that took advantage of her escape to take off myself in the confusion?" Kin offered hopefully as she wilted under the look Naruto was giving her.

"Yup." Jiraiya shook his head, before suddenly just laughing out loud as he leaned back against the tree and clutching his gut.

"Yo, Pervert! Mind explaining things for the rest of us?" Anko growled slightly as she glared at the white haired old man.

"Where'd you find her?" Jiraiya ignored the glare Anko directed at him, and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"She was part of the sound genin team, Orochimaru sent to the exams." Hinata supplied her brow arching up slightly as she glanced down at a Kin who seemed to want to completely vanish into Naruto's shadow.

"Oh…" Jiraiya paused a moment once more, before actually falling out of the tree as he laughed for everything he was worth.

"Kin-chan… Explain." Naruto spoke up in a rather serious tone, before smirking slightly. "Or I'll have to let Ino punish you just like she wanted to."

"Eeeep! No spankings for Kin-chan?" Her eyes grew huge as she looked up pleadingly at him. "And… and… Having to give spankings?!"

"And having to watch them getting spanked." Naruto agreed, nodding sagely as he crossed his arms about his chest.

Pouting slightly, the girl sniffled just a bit before crossing her arms about her chest and grumbling as she flopped down onto the ground, "Fine. Kinuko Tsuchi was the clan heiress who ran away from her clan at 10 years old because she didn't want to become that kind of kunoichi."

"It was the biggest scandal in Iwa a few years back when it happened." Jiraiya added as he pulled himself out of the bushes, still chuckling. "Anyone who brought her back to Iwa, would have almost been able to name their price. The family is practically royalty over there. She's like Tsunade-hime was here."

Naruto blinked slightly, staring from Kin, to Jiraiya, then back, before his lips twitched slightly as he gazed down at the girl. "Kin-hime?"

The girl winced, visibly and whined slightly. "Can't I just be Kin-chan?" She paused, before grinning slyly. "Besides, haven't you heard? Kin Tsuchi went and got herself blown up."

"Blown…. Up?" Jiraiya turned and arched a brow at Naruto.

"Shadow Clones, Transformation… And a big ole string of exploding tags." Naruto nodded sagely. "Her teammates got to witness her going boom. From about 20 feet away."

Jiraiya stared at Naruto for a long moment, before glancing over at a widely grinning Kakashi. "Oooh… This is…" The man snickered a moment, before he almost broke into laughter once more. "Kakashi… we gotta tell sensei about this! Oh, the irony!"

"I noticed." Kakashi nodded his head sagely in turn as he grinned back at Jiraiya. "Can you imagine, if Iwa knew?"

"NOT GOING BACK!!!" Kin declared loudly, clinging forcefully to Naruto's leg, holding it in practically a death grip as she looked up pleadingly at Team 10. "Kin-chan stay, right? Master and Mistresses not going to send her back to Iwa, right, right?!"

"Well, there is one way to make certain of that…" Jiraiya grinned perversely, before frowning just a bit. "Of course, that would probably end up with assassination attempts."

"Yes." Kakashi agreed, nodding back to the white haired man. "But… what I wouldn't give to be a bug on the wall and tell them."

"You know, that's really annoying." Naruto glared at the two giggling men as he soothingly stroked his fingers through Kin's hair. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

"Sadly, its classified, and we've been expressly forbidden from telling you, Naruto-kun." Kakashi responded absently. "But, when you do find out, I'm sure you'll get a good laugh from it, just like we did."

"Trust me, brat, it's down right hilarious." Jiraiya agreed with a smirk as his eyes twinkled.

"Great, even MORE about my parents that I don't know." Naruto growled softly as he glared at the two men. "One of these days, I swear…"

"What makes you think it's about your parents?" Jiraiya commented with a neutral arch of his brow.

"Because that's the only thing that no one ever tells me about!?" Naruto glared and growled slightly as he kept stroking Kin's hair.

Anko blinked slightly, and furrowed her brows as she looked at Naruto, then glanced down at Kin, before looking back at her student once more. Suddenly, her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she stared at him, as if seeing him for the first time. "HOLY SHIT!!!!"

Jiraiya froze as he saw the look of realization dawning on the woman's face, before immediately he shifted to professional mode. "Special Jounin, Anko Mitarashi! That matter is classified by order of the Third Hokage! To reveal it is treason!"

"But… He's!" Anko's mouth open and shut for a moment, staring in disbelief at the man, before growling darkly. "If ANYONE deserves to know it, it's HIM!"

"Be that as it may… You're welcome to convince the Hokage to change his ruling." Jiraiya responded, before muttering slightly. "Maybe you'll have better luck than I did."

"Or me." Kakashi added, before pursing his lips. "Or, Hiashi, or Inoichi…"

"Anko?" Kurenai arched a brow at her seething partner.

"It's been there, right in front of us the WHOLE TIME!" The woman growled darkly, as her fingers clenched and unclenched. "It makes perfect sense now! I can't believe I didn't see it earlier!" She paused a moment, before growling even louder. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT OLD BASTARD!!!!"

At the Hokage's Tower, Hiruzen Sarutobi felt a cold, pulsing shiver of dread racing down his spine, as his head reflexively found itself staring at the photograph of the Fourth Hokage. A picture where the soft, quiet smile directed at the camera, now seemed to hold a sinister promise directed to the old man.

-o-o-o-

Minato Namikaze stared at the scene at the hot springs before turning his head, and looking at his completely dumbstruck wife. "Honey, did our son do what I think he did?"

"Do you think he made the renegade heiress to the most prominent clan in Iwa into his eager pet?" Kushina Uzumaki offered in a faint, distant voice.

"Well, that too, but I was more referring to inspiring Anko-chan into threatening Hiruzen until he let our boy know who we were." Minato responded, his own voice slightly distant as well.

"Oh…. Sorry I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact he's getting revenge for my people without even knowing it." Kushina blinked slightly, then blinked again, as she looked over at her husband. "Do you think Anko-chan will do that?"

"This is Anko-chan we're talking about." Minato countered. "You remember what she's like."

"True." Kushina agreed, before nodding happily as she snuggled up to her husband. "We'll have to do something extra nice for her when she finally gets up here."

"Hopefully, we'll have plenty of time for that." Minato responded back, before grinning at his wife. "So… are we not going to be seen for a week again?"

"No." Kushina responded, ignoring the slight look of disappointment on her husband's face. "I was thinking more like a month."

"Oh… I can live with that." Minato nodded sagely before grinning happily as he lifted his wife up and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her off to their bedroom.

Sighing softly, the two remaining women looked at one another before grumbling slightly. "Like son, like father."

"Well, think my husband will actually put the moves on Tsume?"

"I'm surprised she hasn't put the moves on him, in all honesty."

"Maybe she's mellowed with age?"

"…"

"Right, at least we should have plenty to watch."

"Indeed."


	18. Chapter 18

Bondage Style

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Naruto and Co belong to Kishimoto.

Author's notes: Getting towards the end, more and more things are beginning to change from my first vision of how this was going to go down. Parts I originally planned to include are going to vanish as I bring things into focus.

I plan to have both BS and Echoes finished before the year is out.

This chapter's a bit heavier than the previous ones, getting a lot of the drama out of the way before moving on. Probably tempered with how I wrote most of it after the death of my grandfather.

-The Hokage's Tower-

"YOU!!!" Anko's had a kunai draw as she jabbed it in the direction of a suddenly nervous looking Hokage.

"Err... Hello, Anko-chan... Can I... um... Help you?" Hiruzen Sarutobi stared wide eyed at the down right seething woman who was starting to stalk in his direction.

"Don't you DARE Anko-chan ME!!!" Anko growled, grip tightening even further on her kunai.

"Anko-chan?" Iruka chose that moment to pop up, glancing from where his girlfriend was caught up in a rage greater than any he'd seen her in before, and the visibly shrinking Hokage. "... Why are you pointing at the Hokage with a kunai?"

"This BASTARD..." Anko growled, her eyes burning harder, hotter than he ever thought possible. "Grrrr! That word doesn't even begin to describe what kind of piece of shit our 'beloved' Hokage is!"

"Anko-chan, why don't you calm down." Iruka walked up to her, ignoring the way her kunai was actually trembling with rage, something he didn't think even Orochimaru could evoke in her. "And tell us what's wrong... I'm sure the Hokage..."

"Iruka." Her eyes bored into his, and he couldn't see anything of the playful psychotic sex kitten she liked to pass herself off as. "What is the ONE thing, Naruto wants more than anything else?"

While Iruka's face scrunched in confusion, he missed the color draining from the Hokage's face. "To know about his parents, why?"

"HE KNOWS!" Anko snarled as again her kunai flashed as she gestured towards the man seated behind the desk. "What's more, he's fucking outlawed ANYONE who knows from telling him!" Her eyes burning she turned her head again to face the man. "He gets the worst fuckin' news ever. He has the Kyuubi dumped in his lap, and that's it. Nothing about who or why... he just... ARRRRRGGH!"

"Is this true...?" Slowly Iruka turned his head, his eyes landing firmly on the Hokage as those normally warm, friendly eyes hardened into chips of dark steel.

If anything the Hokage shrank even further down into his chair as he noted the two begin to slowly advance on him. When silence was the only answer he received, Iruka spoke up again.

"Hokage-'sama'." The honorific was hissed past his lips as the chunin locked eyes with the man. "Would you be kind enough to explain to me WHY it was, after he was told about his burden in the worst, possible way, you didn't tell him who his parents were."

"It would have only added to his burden." Sarutobi protested, his hands rising up as he carefully shifted back in his seat, trying to inch away from the two figures glaring down at him.

"ADDED TO HIS BURDEN!?" Anko practically screeched out the words as she dug her fingers even tighter onto her kunai. "Have you even MET Naruto?!"

"How would knowing who his parents are have added to his burden?" There was a shot of confusion in Iruka's eyes as he turned his attention towards Anko.

"His god father is Jiraiya." The woman stated flatly, growling slightly as she took a moment, and nodded to the picture of the Fourth on the wall. "Do the math."

"..." Iruka stared for a moment as the implications of just what his girlfriend was saying seeped into his mind. Slowly then, he turned his head and any hope that Sarutobi had that this would be solved amicably vanished in an instant. "He's HIS son and you haven't told him?!"

"Think about the kind of problems that he'd have if it got out." Sarutobi countered as he levelled a look at the pair, struggling to regain control of the conversation. "The son of the Yellow Flash... Think of all the expectations, all the enemies he'd make, just because of who his parents are!"

"And what, you think you couldn't tell him because he'd go around telling the entire village?!" Anko growled even darker, her eyes smoldering as she clenched her fingers harshly against the kunai in her hand. "Like I said.... Have you even MET Naruto?!"

"We're talking about one of the most loyal, dedicated and talented nins we have." Iruka picked up where the woman paused, his eyes glinting like stone as he growled at the man. "You'll trust him to keep the secret of the fox, but not about his parents?"

"I'd rather he didn't know even that." The Hokage shot back, his eyes hardening back as he looked back at the irate ninja in front of him. "We're talking about..."

"The thing he's been denied his whole life." Anko snapped, her eyes burning still as she glared into the man's face. "We're talking about how you let the secret of the Kyuubi on him, but didn't tell him about his parents! Hell, I'm not surprised he didn't come to you after it was all..."

When Sarutobi couldn't keep his eyes on her, Iruka's gaze burned even more harshly into the man. "He did, didn't he?! He did, and you still didn't tell him?! The worst night of his life, and you didn't...? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"I..." There didn't seem to be any words he could summon forth to protest it. To tell him that he was acting for Naruto's best interests. Those words, seemed so hollow, so empty and worthless confronted by two people who cared so deeply for the boy.

Finally, Iruka snorted in disgust as he turned his back to the village leader. "Tell him, today. Or your law and penalty be damned, I will."

"Chunin Iruka Umino, what you're talking about is treason!" The Hokage snapped out, desperate as his eyes widened.

Casting his eyes over his shoulder Iruka glared back at the man. "Those that don't follow the rules may be trash, but those that abandon their comrades are worse than that. You might have forgotten the saying that the Fourth's Team 7 adopted, but I haven't. And I can only imagine, from where ever they're watching you, a pair of blue eyes are waiting."

He paused at the door a moment before he spoke once more. "And when I die, I will be able to meet those eyes with pride, and say that I knew his son, and stood by him, like he deserved. Can you honestly say the same?"

As the Hokage slumped down into his seat, Iruka slipped through the door, as Anko followed in his footsteps, before sending the man who felt his age like never before one last, hardened gaze. "I'll send Naruto here." She turned her head then, her fingers lightly gripping on to the door's frame. "I still remember the man who stood up for me when I refused to abandon the Leaf after my sensei turned traitor. The man that had the strength to see what was right, despite everything."

As she started forward again, he could hear the last few words she let out. "Do you remember who Hiruzen Sarutobi is, Hokage-sama?"

And with that, the old man was left, quiet and alone with the company of silence, and the weight of his fears eating away at his heart.

-o-o-o-

"Will you stop following me?!" Naruto glared slightly at the amused Jiraiya as he lead a still clinging Kin towards his apartment.

"Now, why wouldn't I want to follow my cute little godson and his pet off to wherever they'd be off to?" Jiraiya responded back with an innocent smile on his lips.

"It's more that said godson wants nothing to do with a piece of shit that abandoned him for 13 years and expects to be able to waltz back into his life as if nothing ever happened." Naruto shot back, before pausing, a sudden, even grin on his lips as he turned his head and looked at something past the white haired man.

"Hey, that's not fair, I had responsibilities!" Jiraiya responded defensively, before blinking a bit. "What're you smiling at."

"I believe that would be me." A dull monotone spoke up behind Jiraiya, causing the white haired man, to jump, shrieking slightly as he bounced away from the blank eyes of the red headed Gaara.

"What.. tha... How the hell?!" Jiraiya blinked in shock as he hopped away from the eerie boy as Naruto waved cheerfully to his friend.

"Heya, Gaara, what's up?" Naruto smirked ever so slightly as he watched the red head glance towards Jiraiya a moment, before reappearing in front of Naruto in a swirl of sand.

"Bored mainly." Gaara admitted as he shrugged slightly. "Sakura has to go through a team meeting and find out what she's going to be doing for this month. Kankuro is off whining about getting his ass kicked, and Temari is hanging out with the guy that beat up Kankuro."

"Speaking of Kankuro..." Naruto spoke up, before pointing towards a confused looking Jiraiya. "He's the guy that writes Icha Icha."

"... What?" Gaara blinked slightly before that dull gaze turned onto Jiraiya, staring with a cold glint as he studied the man.

"Normally, I'd be proudly boasting about it," Jiraiya noted as he slowly inched backwards. "But, judging by the fact that he told you, and that I vaguely recall him mentioning that name in a less than good light... I'm going to guess that you're not a fan?"

"My brother is." Gaara stated flatly, coldly as he glared at the man before he raised his hand, a stream of sand rising out of his gourd at his direction. "For what you have done to him, I will destroy you."

"Oh, hell." Jiraiya paled visibly as he quickly hopped away from the first impact of the sand crashing down on the spot him'd been an instant before. Twisting his body around, he thrust an accusatory finger towards Naruto. "You did this on purpose!"

"Well, duh." Naruto stared back at the man as if what he'd said was the most obvious thing in the world. "I mean, seriously... Where's the downside? It gives Gaara something do..."

"For which I thank you." Gaara filled in as he guided another series of sand spears towards Jiraiya. "Boredom... is less than pleasant."

"... And it keeps you off my back, so where's the downside?" Naruto observed as he lightly ran his fingers through Kin's hair, his lips quirked slightly in amusement.

"I'm one of the sannin!" Jiraiya shot back, even as he jumped up to avoid a stream of sand aimed directly for where his crotch had been a moment before. "HEY! Watch where you're aiming!"

"I think he was." Kin noted as she giggled softly and leaned into Naruto's hand. "I mean... I know its a small target and all..."

"HEY!"Jiraiya paused glaring down at the girl. "No snarking from the runaway princess!"

"Plus, really, Orochimaru is one of the sannin too." Kin continued on, as if the man hadn't said a word. "And look at him! So, really, all he's doing is treating you how your teammate would be treated."

"Hey, I'm the GOOD sannin!" Jiraiya immediately protested as he dodged another lashing strike of the sand.

"All things considered, that doesn't say too much." Naruto noted with a slow shake of his head and a long drawn out sigh. "Considering the fact that the other two are a low life snake and an irresponsible gambler drowning herself in booze, I can see how being a smut peddler who abandons his responsibilities is considered the good sannin."

"... He is a sannin?" That made Gaara pause a moment as he studied the white haired man with squinting eyes.

"Of course I am! I am the gallant...!" Jiraiya immediately slipped into a Kabuki-esque pose only to be be interrupted by Gaara monotone.

"...Disappointment." The red head finished for him with a simple snap of his lips.

"... You think that's bad? Try finding out he's your godfather." Naruto responded sourly as he shook his head and motioned Gaara to follow. "Come on, you can crash at my place. We'll figure out something to do."

"He's your godfather...?" Gaara blinked slightly as he again moved with his sand, appearing next to his blonde haired friend with a touch of curiosity breaking through the stony mask he wore. "Isn't he...?"

"Yes." Naruto responded flatly.

"Then...?"

"Indeed."

"My condolences."

"Thanks."

"You two vibe way too easily." Kin noted as she sighed and shook her head, palming her cheek lightly.

"Oh, Gaara, I think you remember Kin-chan here?" Naruto noted as he lightly pet the former Sound Kunoichi atop her head.

"A vague recollection." The red head admitted. "Has she learned the error of her ways, or do I need to erase her existence?"

"...EEP!" Kin shrunk back away from Gaara, staring up at him with wide, fearful eyes.

"... I swear, you get off on freaking people out." Naruto deadpanned lightly as he mildly glared at his friend.

"It is amusing." Gaara admitted with a hint of a smile before turning and looking down at the still cringing Kin. "And I was kidding. I'm cutting back on my seeing how squishy shinobi can be quota."

"What're you at anyway?" Naruto asked with a curious quirk of his brow.

"Well, I was doing fine until her teammates..." Gaara nodded his head towards Kin.

"EX-teammates!" Kin corrected quickly as she shook her head. "Idiots never fuckin listened to me."

"Such a foul mouthed princess you are, Kin-chan." Naruto noted with amusement before shrugging slightly. "Though she's right about them being idiots."

"Princess?" Gaara quirked his head lightly to the side, questioningly.

"Yeah, yeah... She's actually a Tsuchi. One of THOSE Tsuchi." Naruto responded with a slight shrug of his shoulders as he started walking again, completely ignoring the way Jiraiya looked rather displeased at being so completely and suddenly ignored.

"Indeed?" Gaara studied the blushing girl for a moment, before his attention reverted to Naruto. "Lucky."

"Eh, I think I'm at my limit, even with legendary endurance." Naruto admitted as he chuckled slightly. "Trying to keep up with three of them now? I MUST be crazy."

"Of course you are." Gaara responded simply as he shrugged his shoulders just a bit. "Almost as much as I am." He paused a moment, his face neutral before he offered Naruto the slightest of grins. "You just get to sleep, so you're not as likely to go killing people."

"Sleep is a good thing." Naruto admitted as he peered lightly at the dark lines around Gaara's eyes. "So, you have trouble sleeping?"

"I don't sleep." Gaara responded simply, before shuddering slightly. "Not unless I want to let Shukaku out."

"That wouldn't be good." Naruto admitted quickly as he shivered involuntarily.

"Huh, so you're the container for the Ichibi?" Jiraiya chose then to enter the conversation once more popping up even as he quickly avoided Gaara's sand. "That explains things."

"You do realize that there's a reason not a single one of the ANBU watching us have lifted a finger to help you, right?" Naruto glared slightly at Jiraiya, even as the man waved it off with a slight shrug.

"Eh, sure kid whatever you say." The man rolled his eyes slightly as he spoke casually down at the boy with a wave of his hand.

"Actually, he's completely correct." An ANBU spoke up as he appeared next to them in a swirl of leaves. "We like you, Jiraiya-sama, just not enough that we'll piss him off and get him coming after us." The man bowed apologetically. "You're on your own."

With that, the ANBU vanished in another swirl of leaves, leaving Jiraiya staring with his mouth agape before he turned his head and stared at the amused looking trio of young teens.

"I warn them, but they never listen." Naruto noted with an exaggerated sadness to his words as he looked helplessly towards Gaara. "So sad, isn't it?"

"But if they did, would you be able to have as much fun?" Gaara asked curiously.

"Well, no." Naruto admitted with a shrug. "Fortunately, the smut peddler here's hotel wasn't too hard to find."

That made Jiraiya freeze up his eyes practically bulging out of his head now. "Wha...? But.. You've been here the whole time!"

"Shadow clones are handy." The blonde boy deadpanned lightly and then chuckled softly as he smiled sweetly at the man. "So many notes.... so many creative ways to destroy them."

"GAAAH! MY BABIES!!!" And with that Jiraiya was racing off, sprinting across the rooftops as Naruto popped off a clone that nodded to the original and then followed after the sannin.

"You didn't actually find his hotel room, did you?" Kin's voice was tinged with amusement as she glanced up at the man.

"Of course not." Naruto chuckled just a bit as he casually continued onwards. "Why would I go through all that effort of tracking down where exactly he is in Konoha, when I can just bluff, get him to go after his notes? That way, I have a clone track him, while I get some peace and quiet." He paused a moment, before frowning. "Actually, let's pick up the pace, I want to put off him finding out where I live as long as possible."

"That would be understandable." Gaara nodded in agreement before smirking just slightly. "Also... I am curious about your books."

"Looking for tips on what to do with Sakura?" Naruto offered up with a sweetly innocent smile on his lips as they leapt from rooftop to rooftop.

"Would you prefer I asked Kankuro?" The red head responded with a flat stare directed back at the boy.

"Could be amusing." The blonde boy teased back as he grinned broadly at his friend.

"... Do you hate me so much, that you'd leave me dependent on my brother's advice?" Gaara stared back at the blonde, a touch of pleading in those words as his eyes grew large, almost glistening.

"...Dude... you have the scariest fucking puppy dog eyes I've ever come across." Naruto shuddered visibly as he stared back at the suddenly smirking Gaara.

"Creepy." Kin agreed as she shivered visibly away from the red head.

"All the better to get people to do what I want." Gaara countered with an innocent smile, before lightly tapping his chin. "It's that, or my reputation as a homicidal maniac, I'm never sure which."

"Your puppy dog eyes are scarier." Naruto responded sagely even as he shuddered and winced. "Just... yeah."

"Thank you."

-o-o-o-

"Huh, that's weird." Naruto blinked slightly in uncertainty to see Iruka waiting for them in front of his door. "Hiding out from Anko-chan, Iruka-sensei?"

"Naruto." Iruka greeted the boy, his face serious even as he glared slightly in annoyance. "Why would I be hiding from Anko-chan?"

"Why were you hiding from her last time?" Naruto countered with a slight smirk before shrugging a bit. "Oh, before I forget, he's Gaara, and she's Kin-hime."

"Princess?" A slight bit of humor touched Iruka's eyes as Kin glared slightly at the boy. "My, what do Hinata and Ino have to say about that."

"It amuses them." Naruto shot back, smirking a bit. "Considering she was born..."

"Naruto-sama!" Kin whined softly, staring pleadingly up at the boy as she shifted uncomfortably. "You don't have to tell EVERYONE!"

"I know, I'm only telling the ones I know can keep a secret." Naruto responded, making a slight note of the grimace that blossomed across Iruka's lips. "Iruka-sensei, Kinuko Tsuchi. Kin-chan, the only man to ever keep up with me in a prank war." The blonde paused a moment, before making a light gesture towards Gaara. "Oh, and that's Gaara of the Desert, youngest son of the Kazekage, and container of Shukaku, the Ichibi."

"Hello." Gaara nodded his head towards the bug eyed chunin as he stood there, arms crossed about his chest.

"... Naruto, does anything EVER happen simply in your life?" Iruka groaned softly as he shook his head, just slumping his shoulders in numbed shock. "I'm here to escort you to see that damned worthless old man we call the Hokage."

Now THAT made everyone blink. Immediately, Naruto pushed himself up to Iruka as he forced the forehead protector up and felt the man's skin. "Are you feeling all right Iruka-sensei? You aren't sick or anything are you?"

"I'm fine Naruto." Iruka practically growled as he pulled the boy's hand away and readjusted his forehead protector. "Anko and I just had a... 'talk' with our 'beloved' Hokage."

"Ah." Naruto blinked slightly as he arched a brow at the man even as he opened up his apartment. "So, what's the body count?"

"Funny." Iruka glared slightly at the boy, before sighing softly once more as he pinched the bridge of his scarred nose. "I'm just... Anko clued me in enough for me to figure out who they were."

"Okay." Naruto responded with an almost flinch and a sigh as he gestured into the apartment, arching a brow as Iruka merely stood his ground while Gaara and Kin slipped inside. "Um, going to just stand out here in the hall Iruka-sensei?"

"I guess you didn't hear what I said to begin with." Iruka shot back. "We're going to go see the old bastard, where he's either going to tell you who your parents are, or I will."

"Really?" Naruto stared back at Iruka, uncertain as he struggled to work his mind around what the man had just said.

"If anyone should know, it's you."Iruka responded, his face solemn as he looked into Naruto's eyes.

"That's just... wow..." Naruto leaned against the door frame, his eyes wide in absolute shock as he shook his head. "Well, I suppose it'd be nice to know who would name an irresponsible old pervert like that poor excuse for a sannin, Jiraiya."

"There is that." Iruka winced slightly but nodded none the less.

Turning his head, Naruto paused a moment before studying Kin and Gaara, before his arms crossed about his chest. "Can I trust you two to not cause too much trouble while I'm away?"

"Yes!" Kin responded a bit too quickly

"No." Gaara's simple monotone shot back as his arms remained rebelliously across his chest, earning a look of pouting betrayal from Kin.

"… Can I trust you two to keep the damage OUT of my apartment?" Naruto offered up, sweating slightly as he stared at the pair.

"Reasonable." Gaara admitted before looking around the apartment, a slight frown on his lips, his eyes searching.

Sighing slightly the blonde boy shook his head and gestured towards a chest. "The pranking supplies are in there, but you're replacing whatever you use, am I clear?"

If he was anyone else, well anyone that he didn't already hang out with extensively, he would have been rather disturbed by the looks of pure and malicious glee that spread across the pair's faces. Pausing a moment, he then rubbed his hands slowly together. "Ohh… When this exam is over, the things we will do… oh yes…"

Cackling softly, Naruto turned his head to behold a rather… amused looking Iruka, who shook his head and chuckled just a bit. "Ah, how you leave me longing for the days of yore…"

As the pair began to walk away from the apartment, Naruto chuckled just a bit as he threaded his fingers behind his head and whistled softly. "You do realize, anyone that contributes to a performance review is entitled to pay and a corresponding mission completion on their record, yes?"

"Yes, but with the amount of planning you put into your little reviews, I'd have to skip out a day or so from the Academy." Iruka smirked just slightly in response as he casually adjusted his headband.

"So? You could use the break." Naruto shot back, his eyes twinkling playfully as he stretched out.

"Yes, but Hanabi and Konohamaru would run roughshod over the remaining instructors without me there to deflect their influences." Iruka paused a moment, before lightly tapping his lower lip. "And, I'd rather not be reduced to the only teacher at a smoking crater that used to be an academy."

"I could have a word with them?" Naruto offered up slightly as he smiled innocently. "Make sure they only break a few of the instructors and leave the academy standing?"

"Tempting, Naruto, tempting."

-o-o-o-

"So, I heard you wanted to see me, old man?" Naruto piped up as he walked into the Hokage's office next to Iruka as Anko nodded to them both from where she leaned back against the wall, before sending a glare at the old man.

The Hokage himself looked old, for lack of a better word. His face slightly ashen, he leaned back in his chair and gave a slow, quiet nod of his head before he spoke. "Yes, Naruto… Your… Family I suppose I should call them, have been most… adamant that you are ready to know the truth about your heritage. And in fact that it should have been revealed to you some time ago."

"… I don't have another Jiraiya floating in the family tree, do I?" Naruto offered hopefully even as he fought to repress the shudder that rippled through his body. "I mean, one is quite enough thank you. Anymore and, well… I'm not sure just what I'd do."

"No, Naruto, the only Jiraiya in your family tree is your godfather." Hiruzen smiled slightly at that as he watched the way Naruto's face collapsed into a look of abject disappointment.

"Dammit, I was hoping you'd tell me he was lying about that." Grumbling slightly he shook his head. "It was hard enough to lose him the first time."

"Lose him, brat?" Anko offered up, a brow arching slightly as she chuckled just a bit.

"Lose him, make him think I was burning his notes, same difference." Naruto responded with a dismissive wave of his hand. "A bit gullible that one."

"Burning his notes?" Iruka blinked slightly his face scandalized as he crossed his arms about his chest. "Naruto, just destroying the notes of one of the sannin…."

"His 'research' notes." Naruto clarified, as he lightly curled his fingers in visible quoations as he spoke. "For Icha Icha."

"Oh, carry on then." Nodding his head Iruka smiled back at the boy as he slipped over and took the spot on the wall next to Anko, before glancing meaningfully towards the man Hokage.

"Well, I didn't actually do it." Naruto answered, not missing the look the chunin had sent the old man. "Kinda surprising he actually thought I could cover all of Konoha that quickly and find his room." He paused, before smiling innocently. "That doesn't mean that I don't have a clone following him so I can do it later."

"Poor Jiraiya-kun." Sarutobi smiled slightly before looking out the window, towards the Hokage mountain as he looked at the faces staring sternly down at the village, his eyes drawn to one face in particular. "Naruto… I honestly never really wanted to tell you this. I didn't want to burden you with any more expectations of what you should be."

"More of a burden than Mizuki revealed?" Naruto arched a brow slightly and rolled his eyes just a bit. "I kinda doubt that's possible, old man."

"Maybe, maybe not." With a slow sigh, Hiruzen Sarutobi flipped open a folder for a moment, before withdrawing a single, aged piece of paper, then slid it forward across his desk. "Here, Naruto."

"What's this?" Naruto blinked slightly as he picked up the paper, then let his eyes widen in shock as he stared at the paper.

"Your birth certificate. The real one." Sarutobi responded with a quiet sigh as he slumped back in his seat and slowly shook his head. "The one, only a very, very small number of people knew existed. Your original teacher, her husband, and a few of your parents closest friends."

"This… this is real?" Naruto was staring at the paper in numbed shock, his eyes frozen on the name written atop the spot for his father. "He…. This… He was…?"

"Minato Namikaze." The Hokage again looked out the window, and stared at the stern face etched onto the mountain. "Konoha's Yellow Flash, our Fourth Hokage. One of the most intelligent and dangerous ninja to have ever lived, and paradoxically, one of the kindest."

"The man who gave his life to seal the Kyuubi inside of me." Naruto finished the unspoken remainder of the man's description with a quiet release of breath. "So, I wasn't just some random orphan."

"How could he ask someone to place the burden on a child, when he wouldn't place it upon his own?" Sarutobi responded simply as he shook his head quietly. "So, he placed it upon the only child he trusted to be able to handle it. His son."

"And thus, did I become Konoha's whipping boy." Naruto responded sourly as he shook his head and slowly rand his fingers a bit further down the birth certificate, lightly brushing across his mother's name. "Kushina. So, I was given my mother's family name."

"You were burdened enough as it was, I didn't want you to…" The Hokage began as he watched the mix of emotions warring across Naruto's face.

"And you don't think the fact that I was his son, wouldn't have swayed people? Wouldn't have stopped them from looking at me with those cold, hateful eyes?" Naruto growled slowly, angrily as his eyes narrowed at the man. "You let them know that I contained the demon, but not the reason WHY I was chosen for it? Just an orphan, no real background, no family, no history… All the easier for people to believe that I was the fox instead of the boy."

He paused a moment, a pulse of anger burning across his face as he stared back at the man in front of him who seemed so weathered, so old, and he ruthlessly crushed the squirming tendril of pity he could feel blossoming for the man. "So, what, you told yourself you were keeping me safe? That you were preventing me from growing up in my father's shadow? That you were keeping me safe from his enemies?"

Naruto clenched his fingers tightly into his palms as he shook his head, his eyes shutting as he took a slow series of deep calming breaths even as he could feel Iruka and Anko's hands coming to rest comfortingly on his shoulders. "Everyone that was supposed to be there for me, either abandoned me, hid the truth from me, or was forced to step back." Shaking his head, the boy stood up, glaring down at the defeated looking Sarutobi. "You fucked up, Hokage-sama."

Never before had that title stung as hard as it did from the lips of a boy who'd never in his years ever called him by it. Without a further word, Naruto rose up and gave a grateful nod to Iruka and Anko, before walking away without a further word. For a moment, a heavy weight of expectation clung across the room, before Anko and Iruka looked at one another, then back to the Hokage, before they turned and quietly left the man alone.

There, in the quiet solitude of the office, Hiruzen Sarutobi dipped his hand down into a waiting drawer, and drew forth a bottle of sake, not even bothering to take a glass with it, as he proceeded to take a deep, heavy swig from it.

-o-o-o-

"Drinking on the job, Sensei?" Jiraiya's voice was cautious as he slowly slid down through the window as he looked at the half empty bottle of sake in the older man's hand, and the look of resigned defeat on his face. "A bit irresponsible, don't you think?"

"I told Naruto about his parents." Seven words, and it summed up so much as they left the man's lips.

"Ah… it didn't go over too well?" The sannin offered carefully as he studied his teacher with a careful eye.

"I forget sometimes, just how sharp that boy is." The Hokage responded quietly as he shook his head and sighed slightly. "And how deep he can cut when he strikes."

"Told you that it was a bad idea." Jiraiya responded with a shrug as he took the bottle from his teacher and he took a slug of his own. "Look on the bright side."

"The bright side?" Hiruzen Sarutobi arched a brow as he looked at his wandering student as the words fell incredulously past his lips. "And where in this, is there a bright side?"

"You were there for him his whole life." Jiraiya countered simply as he poured the sake into two waiting bowls before setting the bottle down on the table between them. "You, he'll eventually forgive." He paused a moment, as he stared down into the shining surface of his sake before downing it quickly with a grimace. "And you're not the one he hates."

"I don't know if Naruto can hate anyone." Sarutobi shot back quietly as he shook his head and settled back into his chair, taking his own bowl and sipping at the rice wine. "Even you."

"He tricked me into revealing my hotel room and where I was hiding my notes, just so he could watch my face when he destroyed them in front of me." Jiraiya responded with a flat look at his sensei, before he picked up a mess of pages, doused and ruined by pink paint. "That takes a lot of hate."

"Oh, Jiraiya-kun, I simply said anyone, as in a person." The elderly man responded with a slight smile on his lips. "I said nothing about him not hating your book series."

"Ugh." The sannin groaned softly and shook his head as he poured himself another cup of sake. "Joy, what's he hate about it so much anyway? Most men love my work!"

"They also either hide their enjoyment in shame, or are very, very lonely men." The Hokage countered with a slight smirk on his lips. "Have you ever actually read the boy's work?"

"No, not really." For a moment he paused, before shrugging slightly. "Never really had any reason to until today."

"It's quite good." Hiruzen responded as he pulled out his personal copy of Naruto's latest work. "There's a reason he has his girls."

"Speaking of which, you know the Sound girl he picked up?" Jiraiya spoke up, a tinge of amusement twinkling back into his eyes.

"Kin something as I recall, Tsuchi or some such?" Sarutobi offered as he took another slow sip of his sake. "What about her?"

"Kinuko Tsuchi," the white haired man said the name with a deliberate relish as he watched and waited for his sensei's reaction.

"Kinuko Tsuchi… that name seems so familiar." The Hokage sighed slightly as he frowned, leaning back in his chair. "I seem to recall reading a report a few years back relating to that name…"

"Mhm… I sent you one as well." Jiraiya noted as he grinned slightly. "I thought her recovery would be quite the feather in our cap, then my godson goes and does it without even realizing it."

"Recovery? Ah yes… she was a…" At that, the elder man's eyes snapped open as he stared, incredulously at Jiraiya. "That boy has the Tsuchi clan heiress as…?"

"Mmmmhmmmmmm…." Jiraiya waggled his eyebrows with an exaggerated wink. "And she's already quite attached to the boy and his other girls. I mean, very, very attached. Plus, she didn't just go missing."

"Kidnapped?" The Hokage offered up, his eyes glinting curiously as he studied his pupil.

"Nope. Runaway." The sannin sipped at his wine for a moment, before grinning slightly, "It seems she didn't want to become 'that kind of kunoichi' as she puts it. She apparently has issues with her clan's… specialty."

"And yet, now…" There was another hint of humor in the old man's voice as he left the end of the statement hanging.

"Ah, but that's more her choice with people of her choosing." The student countered as he sipped at his sake once more. "I'm not sure what her specialty is, but I'm fairly certain it's not the kind've thing that she'd be doing if she stayed with her clan."

"You do know that we will have to release that information, yes?" The Hokage responded simply as he looked down into his bowl of sake. "I was thinking, probably about the same time I publically announced Naruto's heritage."

"You're plotting something." Jiraiya noted as he studied the suddenly grinning again Hokage.

"Yes." Sarutobi agreed as he lightly rubbed his hands together. "How to set things up so that old bastard the Tsuchikage dies of a heart attack when he finds out."

"Ah, creative." Jiraiya nodded his head in approval as he grinned back at his mentor. "And there's no way they can do anything about it. Killing him without killing him."

"Yes… no messy maneuvering, no manipulating others into action, no covert forces… Just the pure and simple shock of finding out their precious princess is so eagerly attaching herself to the son of the Yellow Flash." Hiruzen paused a moment, before sighing wistfully. "Oh, how I wish I could be there when he gets the news."

"You're an evil, evil man when you want to be, Sensei."

"Well, I had to put up with you three." The man countered with a sour look on his face. "Sadly, some of your evil rubbed off."

"Hey!"

-o-o-o-

"This is one of those moments where you just expect to here a: 'Dun Dun DUN!'; isn't it?" Kushina noted as she settled back against her husband's chest, watching the screen in front of them.

"Mhm." Minato agreed as he lightly traced his fingers over her stomach. "Utterly and completely."

"Very, very interesting." She noted as she shook her head and sigh. "I'm not sure if I should be rooting the old man on, or plotting how I'm going to torture him for using things like this."

"Mmm why not both?" Hinata's mother asked lazily as she lay out on her couch, stretching slightly as she watched the screen. "He's still a bastard, even if he's doing it in a way we approve of."

"True." Kushina admitted with a slight smile to her lips. "Mmm whatever shall we do, I wonder, hmmm?''

"Start planning the party for Iruka and Anko?" Ino's mother offered up with a simple smile on her lips.

"I like it." Kushina agreed quickly, before grinning softly. "But, after the Chunin exams. I've got a full schedule until then."

"Lots of sex?" The Hyuga woman offered.

"Tons of it." Kushina affirmed.

"Delightful."

-o-o-o-

Hinata blinked slightly as she saw her grim faced teammate walking through the Hyuga compound with his lips set in a hard, thin line. Frowning, she broke from her kata and quickly jogged over to the boy. "Naruto-kun? What's wrong?"

"Hinata-chan…" The words were thick, heavy on his lips as he struggled with so many conflicting emotions before he took a slow, deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I need to speak with your father."

"Is… is there something wrong?" There was fear, worry in her voice as she watched the boy she cared so deeply seem to struggle with himself.

"Yeah, but I need to talk to Hiashi." Naruto responded quietly as he looked meaningfully into Hinata's eyes.

"Naruto-kun…" For a moment, she pressed, curiously wanting to know more as she stared back up into those deep blue eyes of his.

"Just… Let it go for now, ok, Hinata-chan? I have to talk to you father, because I don't know of anyone else who has the answers I need and will tell me."

She stared pleadingly up into his eyes, the hurt shining in her gaze even as she reluctantly nodded her head and surrendered to his question. "He should be in his study."

"Thank you Hinata-chan." The words fell so softly past his lips as he nodded his head in her direction before he offered her one, sad little smile before heading back down the halls without a further word.

The girl stared at her teammate's back for a moment, before she returned to the slow, deliberate work of her kata. Focusing on it as she tried to block out the look that seemed to haunt the boy's eyes so deeply. Shaking her head she shivered just a bit, as she couldn't help but wonder just what had happened to her Naruto-kun.

Down the hall, Hiashi lifted his head with a frown as he heard the rapping knock strike the door to his study, before with pursed lips he spoke up. "Enter."

The Hyuga man's pale eyes widened slightly as he beheld the familiar visage of a boy who had been the closest thing to a son and later, brother that the man had since the passing of Hizashi. "Naruto… is something the matter?"

With weary blue eyes, Naruto's gaze met his own, and something sank in the pit of the man's stomach, before Naruto spoke the words Hiashi wasn't sure he'd longed for, or dreaded. "Hiashi… would you tell me about Minato and Kushina?"

And in spite of the fears, in spite of the worries, Hiashi Hyuga smiled softly as he nodded his head and gestured across his desk. "Of course, Naruto, of course."

-o-

Author's notes: Another one down, and another one less to go before BS is completed. Since my dry spell is hopefully over, I should have it completed soon enough.


	19. Chapter 19

Bondage Style:

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Naruto realm belongs to Kishimoto

Author's Notes: Hopefully I'll keep in the swing of things to get this story finished soon.

-o-o-o-

Naruto paused a moment as he reached the door to his apartment, then frowned slightly. It was quiet, entirely too quiet for Kin and Gaara. Frowning slightly, he carefully opened up the door, letting it swing open and inwards as he carefully surveyed what he found.

Kin and Gaara were sitting on the couch, quietly sipping tea, smiling innocently back at him. As the hairs on the back of his neck stood up in warning, he gave the pair a look before sighing softly. "All right, what did you two do?"

"Do, Naruto-sama?" Kin responded with an almost delicately arched brow as she lifted the cup of tea to her lips and took a slow, dainty sip. "I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about. We've just been here, enjoying a nice bit of tea, quietly conversing. Do you know what he's talking about Gaara-san?"

"Not at all Kin-san." Gaara responded just as formally, his face locked back into his typical, familiar blank mask as he took a sip of his own tea. "Though, this tea is quite delightful."

"Thank you, Naruto-sama has a surprisingly well stocked tea cabinet." Kin responded with a slight curling of her lips as she nodded her head to Gaara.

"They were a gift from Anko." Naruto responded simply as he gave the pair another, long look. "Start talking. Do I need to be worried about…"

There was a sudden knocking on his window, before Naruto twitched slightly and turned his head back towards the still angelic looking pair. "When I open up that window, am I going to find myself faced with a white masked ninja?"

"Why, whatever would make you think that, Naruto-sama?" Kin offered easily enough as she smiled, angelically at the boy.

"Kin-hime, I patented that look when I was less than half your age." Naruto responded simply as he pinched the bridge of his nose and gave Gaara a look. "And you…"

Gaara merely stared, blankly back at him, not even shifting his expression in the slightest as he deadpanned. "I don't do innocent."

Naruto paused a moment, trying to picture the look on Gaara's face, before he immediately shivered slightly in response. "Yeah, considering your puppy dog eyes, that's a good thing."

Sighing in resignation, Naruto walked over to face a familiar looking white masked nin. Then again, considering what he did in his free time, all of the ANBU looked at least vaguely familiar to the boy. Grumbling just a bit, he pulled the window open and glanced at the man. "Yes, ANBU-san?"

"Where were you 2 hours ago?" The voice was flat, and relatively hostile, but, then again, all things considered that was hardly unexpected.

"Hmm… well let's see.." Naruto cupped his chin and lightly considered, appearing deep in thought as he thought back over his day. "Let's see…. Why, I do believe I was in the Hokage's office."

"Doing?" The ANBU asked speculatively.

"I don't know, it could have been something to do with increasing the ANBU performance reviews leading up to the third stage of the Chunin exams. You know, to make certain that everyone's alert and up to snuff with all those important figures in Konoha." Naruto shot back, smiling sweetly now at the ANBU ninja as he leaned forward. "But, to be perfectly honest, whatever I was discussing with the Hokage is classified. And any ANBU member should know better than to ask."

"And after your alleged meeting?" The figure ground out, a growl rippling through his voice as he glared back at the boy.

Normally, Naruto would have ignored the petty insinuation in the nin's face, but then, today had hardly been a normal day for the boy. "Congratulations, ANBU-san, you just managed to get on my bad side, and I have a whole month worth of training to get done. You just volunteered yourself and your squad."

As he sent a cold glare at the man he continued. "And as what I was doing after my meeting with the Hokage, I was in another meeting with Hiashi Hyuga, you know, the head of the Hyuga clan? Up until a few minutes ago when I arrived back home to continue entertaining my guest, Gaara of the Desert, the youngest son of the Kazekage."

"Hello." Gaara added from his position on the couch, sipping lightly at his tea as he lightly canted his head to the side before taking another sip of his tea. "Did something happen, ANBU-san? Naruto was kind enough to allow me to remain in his apartment during his meetings, with Kin-san here to entertain me."

"… You were here but he wasn't?" The ANBU had paled visibly beneath his mask as he slowly let a trickle of sweat drip down his back. "Then…"

"Yes, ANBU-san?" Gaara was simply… staring at him, a deep, penetrating stare that seemed to burn into the depths of his soul as he could feel the flat, emotionless eyes stabbing at him.

"Err…" The man started to respond, before a sudden knock could be heard at the door.

"Excuse me a moment, ANBU-san." Naruto said with an exaggerated politeness as he turned and walked back to his door, pulling it open with a casual motion to reveal a rather… sizable crowd of people, as the rest of the Rookie 9, Gaara's siblings, Lee, Tenten and Haku could be seen on the otherside.

Blinking slightly, Naruto canted his head to the side. "Huh, no Neji?"

"Funny, Naruto-kun." Hinata responded simply as she smiled slightly at him, before noticing the ANBU still staring in the window. "… How did you manage to get in trouble in such a short amount of time?"

"I didn't." Naruto responded as he stepped back, allowing the group to enter as he glanced towards the ANBU then Gaara. "Gaara got bored."

"I cannot be held responsible for my actions due to boredom and being left unsupervised with available pranking supplies." Gaara intoned with complete sincerity where he sat, even as Sakura slipped over and settled herself firmly into his lap, causing him to blink slightly and smile at her just a bit. "Hello again."

"Were you a bad boy, Gaara-kun?" Sakura gave him a look even as she wrapped an arm lightly around his neck.

"Define… bad." Gaara responded simply as he glanced towards Kin.

"Yes, definitions are very important." The girl nodded sagely back to Gaara as she sipped at her tea. "And bad… is such a vague, unpleasant word, wouldn't you agree, Gaara-san?"

"Very much so." The red head quickly agreed as he lightly leaned in, nibbling a bit at Sakura's neck.

"Mmm… No trying to distract me." Sakura chided as she mildly glared at the boy.

"Distraction is a very important shinobi skill." Gaara countered firmly.

"It's also a very important boyfriend skill." Sasuke offered up helpfully as he lightly ignored the amused look Haku was sending him. "If you can't properly distract your partner… Well, it's harder to get out of trouble."

"You're not getting out of it that easy, Sasuke-kun." Haku chided lightly as he mildly glared at his boyfriend.

"Don't worry, I'll have you distracted again soon enough." Sasuke responded confidently as he grinned back at the other dark eyed boy.

"You're incorrigible." Haku grumbled as he lightly smacked Sasuke's arm.

"Still going to help me train, right?" Those black eyes were pleading as he stared into Haku's own.

"… I am so whipped." Haku grumbled as he nodded in affirmative to Sasuke's question.

"Why, yes, yes you are." Naruto agreed sagely before glancing back towards the still nervous looking ANBU. "Were you waiting on something?"

"Err… I guess, I'll just go and um… yeah, talk to the Hokage…" And with that the ANBU turned and was about to jump out the window, when he heard Naruto speak again.

"Don't make any plans for the month, ANBU-san. Training, remember?"

The man's whimper was audible to the rest of the group as he quickly vanished in a swirl of leaves. When Naruto turned back to the group, he met the questioning looks with an arched brow. "What? I had a rough day and he got on my nerves."

"Training makes ANBU whimper?" Kankuro offered up, actual curious as he peered at the blonde boy. "How the hell..?"

"Training with Naruto tends to involve massive amounts of frustration and humiliation from what I've come to understand." Shino offered up from behind his coat as he shifted slightly where he stood. "If he's insulted, or annoyed, it tends to become very public and embarrassing humiliation."

"Like the guy he flew from the flag pole in nothing but his underwear." Chouji offered up as he grinned slightly while pausing his chip consumption. "He was a chunin, wasn't he?"

"Don't forget the stuff he does to the ANBU!" Kiba agreed with a broad grin on his face. "I mean, mom still laughs her ass off when she talks about the chicken incident."

"People always forget the pig." Naruto gave off an exaggerated sigh as he shook his head, smirking just a bit. "Ah well. I guess I'll just have to remind them."

"Mah… you're just plain troublesome, as always, Naruto." Shikamaru half glared at the blonde even as Tenten lightly tightened her grip on his arm.

"Oi, Shikamaru, you do realize that after the finals are over, Ino-chan still might need a training partner, right?" Naruto's grin was down right malicious, before he paused slightly, and grinned. "Of course… if Tenten stops drooling over Sasuke and Haku long enough, she might just make things worse for you."

"Wha- huh?" The girl blinked slightly, her eyes widening a bit as she blushed at being caught. "I um… err… yeah! Be happy to put him through the paces! Get this lazy bum in shape!"

"Yosh! I am sure Gai-sensei will be happy to help you too! He can come up with a most youthful training regime for you, Shikamaru-san!"

"Yeah, he might have some questionable tastes…." Tenten grinned at the flat stares the rest of the group gave her, save for the confusion on Haku's face. "But, he knows a good training regime."

"… I hate you, Naruto." Shikamaru grumbled as he glared back at the boy, sullenly sticking his hands deep into his pockets.

"No you don't." Naruto shot back with a wave of his hand as he grinned softly. "Don't worry though, you will soon enough if you keep calling me troublesome."

"… Bastard." Shikamaru grumbled even as he glared lightly back at Naruto and slumped down in defeat.

"Yeah yeah…." Naruto paused a moment, before blinking. "Wait, where are…" Turning his head, he then saw his two teammates entrenched on his couch, Kin pinned between them as they all drank their tea. "Heh, I suppose I'm throwing a party?"

"Well, you are the only one of us that lives on his own, Naruto-kun." Ino pointed out with a smile.

"Yes, but we could get Hiashi to let us throw a bash in the Hyuga compound, just think of how much that would freak out the elders." Naruto pointed out, an innocent smile on his lips. "I mean, can you imagine how they'd react to Kiba and Akamaru partying?"

"You are evil, Naruto-kun." Hinata agreed with a grinning nod of her head, before smirking at him. "But we're still holding the party here."

"Bah… but someone else is gonna have to get the food and drinks. I'm not taking the chance of you-know-who following me." Naruto scowled softly as he shot back.

"No, I don't know, who?" Hinata countered with an innocent batting of her lashes.

"Yes, you do."

"Sorry not a clue."

"Liar."

"Now, Naruto-kun, why ever would you say that about me?!"

"Because it's true?"

"Still, that's not the kind of thing you say to a lady."

"Fortunately, I'm no gentleman."

"This is true." She paused a moment, before lightly tapping her lower lip. "I really have to say I know who?"

"You do know who."

"Well, I suppose…."

"As entertaining as it is, I am curious as to why you're hiding from one of the sannin." Gaara spoke up simply as Sakura arched a brow where she was sitting in his lap.

Sasuke instinctively put his hand against the base of his neck, rubbing at the sealed seal as his eyes immediately latched onto Naruto. "One of the sannin?"

"Toad, not snake." Naruto clarified with a grumble. "Oh, by the way, you should talk to Anko-chan about that. Snake bastard gave her one as well."

"… I'll look into it." Sasuke nodded his head a moment, before shifting a bit. "So, again, why're you hiding from Jiraiya?"

"Jiraiya-sama…. Is in Konoha?!" Stars practically danced across Kankuro's eyes as he turned his attention to Naruto. "You have to get me his autograph!"

"Never!" Naruto shot back vehemently as he glared at the puppeteer. "Never shall I acknowledge him as worthy of such a thing!"

"But… but… Icha Icha!" Kankuro moaned softly as he fell to his knees, staring pleadingly up at Naruto.

"See?!" Naruto turned his head, his eyes sweeping across the room as he pointed to Kankuro. "Do you see what the foul plague of Icha Icha has done to this once proud shinobi!?"

"Eh… He's pretty much always been like this." Temari noted with a slight smirk on her lips.

"She'd know better than I would." Gaara noted before shrugging himself. "Though, that has been my observation as well."

"To reduce him to such a wretched, helpless state! It is a crime against us!" Naruto continued on, ignoring the way the Suna siblings smirked in amusement, along with his own teammates. "Do you want to see our proud, youths reduced to the likes of Kankuro here, and Kiba?!"

"HEY!" The Inuzuka whined in protest as he glared back at Naruto, grumbling softly. "Jerk."

"They can't even deny it!" Naruto shook his head in exaggerated sadness as he sighed, as if looking to the heavens for guidance before snapping his attention back to the crowd. "But, fear not! There is a path you can take to avoid sharing their fate!"

"Tell us, Naruto-kun!" Ino chirruped grinning as she played along while restraining a laugh.

"Sweet Silky Nights!" Naruto responded as he suddenly held up one of the books in question. "Available in both hardback and paperback versions, at your local bookstores now!"

"… You did all that just for a lame sales pitch?" Kiba glared at the boy, before he was suddenly cut off by Lee.

"YOSH! I shall buy this book and help stoke my fires of youth like never before!" Lee's fist rose into the air as he started to continue. "And if I cannot…!"

"HEY!" Naruto suddenly interrupted the boy, glaring as him as his arms wrapped across his chest. "Are you insinuating that my books would fail to do so?!"

"What…? Why no, Naru-"

"That sounds awfully like what you were doing." The boy countered, frowning darkly before he turned his attention to Gaara. "Did it sound like that to you?"

"Indeed." Gaara agreed, before looking over at Hinata sitting next to him. "Did it sound like that to you?"

"Uh huh." Hinata agreed before looking at Kin. "Kin-chan?"

"Definitely." The girl agreed as she leaned against Hinata.

"Hey, what's that Sound girl doing here?!" Kiba blinked as he pointed a finger accusingly towards Kin.

"Hmm isn't Sound located in Rice Country?" Naruto put out idly before turning to Kin. "Are you from Rice, princess?"

"Hmph." The girl stuck out her tongue at the boy before shaking her head. "Born and raised in Earth country, thank you!"

"All right, what's that IWA girl doing here!" Kiba countered as he growled lightly.

"Have you ever been a rock nin, Kin-chan?" Ino asked curiously as she lightly stroked her fingers through the girl's long, soft hair.

"Nuh uh. My family wanted me to, but I ran away." Kin responded simply as she grinned pleasantly back at Kiba.

"But… but…" Kiba growled slightly as he looked around the room, begging for support.

"Bah… dumb mutt." Shikamaru sighed as he dug his fingers deeper into his pockets. "The girl is obviously the Sound girl. She's just from Earth country originally, but she ran away and joined Sound."

"Ha! I knew I was right!"

"… Then she obviously joined Konoha for some reason or another." Shikamaru continued, as he pointed to the collar around Kin's throat. "Judging by things… and knowing Team 10, they captured her and did something troublesome to make her their pet."

Blinking slightly, Temari looked at Tenten. "Sure you don't want to trade?"

"Oh, hell no!" Tenten shot back as she clutched even tighter on Shikamaru's arm. "I'm gonna have FUN whipping him into shape!"

"Plus, Tenten-san is scary." Lee added before looking meaningfully at Shikamaru. "Keep her away from any open weapon displays, or anything particularly sharp and pointy." He paused a moment in quiet contemplation. "And I'm fairly certain there's a reason Gai-sensei has refused to train her with explosive notes yet."

"He's just stingy, keeping all those lovely explosions to himself." Tenten responded sulkily. "Especially the sharp, pointy explosions."

"But Tenten, he freely helps us with our explosions of Youth!" Lee argued back against his teammate.

"… Gimme the sharp, shiny, pointy explosions any day." Tenten muttered back as she tightened her grip on Shikamaru's arm.

Shikamaru himself was quickly filing that information away under the title of: Desperate, Last Minute, 'Dear God nothing else is working!' plans.

-o-o-o-

"Say, Anko-chan…" Jiraiya's voice sung sweetly through the air as he popped up behind the suddenly twitching woman in question as she sat next to her boyfriend, only to almost squeak as a kunai pressed up between his legs.

"I only let 3 males get away with calling me that." The woman responded with an exaggerated sweetness. "Sannin need not apply."

"But…" The white haired man began before he could feel another kunai added to the first as his eyes went wide to see Kurenai smiling back at him with the same sort of grin Anko favored.

"You wouldn't be ignoring MY Anko-chan, now would you, Jiraiya-'sama'?" That same, venomous sweetness dripped off her lips as she locked her red eyes onto his.

As the man gulped, audibly Iruka took a sip of his sake then sighed slightly. "Girls, leave him be."

At the girl's pouting as they withdrew their kunai from the sannin, Iruka sent the grateful looking man a shark-like grin. "Too many witnesses, wait until he's somewhere private so I can help you get rid of the body."

"Yes Iruka-sama!" The two women chirruped in chorus before settling back into their stools as Kurenai leaned against Anko, and Anko leaned against Iruka.

"Iruka-sama?" Jiraiya twitched slightly at that as he focused his attention on the chunin so calmly drinking his sake with the women.

"What can we say?" Kurenai spoke up, smirking just a bit. "Some men fantasize… some men actually live the dream."

"And some men spend all their time peeping, leaving their orphaned godsons' to grow up thinking their all alone in the world." Iruka threw in as he sent a light glare at the man before turning his back pointedly on the sannin.

"That's not fair!" Jiraiya growled as he glared back at Iruka. "Do you know what kind of bullseye it would have drawn on the kid if I'd stayed to raise him?"

"Tell me, Jiraiya, why is it that he had never seen you before today?" Iruka shot back as he sipped lightly at his sake, shaking his head. "Why is it he didn't know you? You didn't have to raise him to let him know that he had someone else out there that cared about him."

"Why didn't you know about how he was trained by Hinata's mother?" Kurenai picked up where Iruka left off, sipping at her own sake for a moment as she glared daggers at the man. "Where were you when he graduated from the Academy?"

"Where were you when he published his first book?" Anko continued pursing her lips for a moment as she lightly glared at the man. "Where were you when he was practically nursing Hiashi back to life after his wife died?"

"Why is it, that you don't have the answers to any of those questions, hmmm?" Iruka glared slightly as he looked at the man before shaking his head. "Where were you, when that bastard Mizuki tried to destroy him by tricking him into stealing the Forbidden scroll then revealed the truth about why so many people hated him?"

When the white haired man said nothing in response, Iruka grabbed his bottle and shook his head. "Let's go join the others, I don't feel like being alone tonight."

"Right." Anko nodded as she slipped up, hugging softly against the man from one side, while Kurenai took her place at the other, allowing the man to lead them over to the booth the usual group sat at.

"… I just want to know where he lives." Jiraiya muttered softly under his breath sighing as he almost collapsed down into the recently vacated stool.

"Then, maybe you should have been around more often, like they said." Kakashi's amused voice spoke up as he settled into the stool next to the man.

"How the hell do you get away with not being hated?" Jiraiya grumbled slightly as he took a bottle of sake from the tender and took a sip.

"Easy, I was around for him." Kakashi responded with a crinkling of his eye. "If only as the ANBU doggie that watched out for him." He paused a moment before grinning sheepishly back at Jiraiya. "Of course, you also don't see me in any rush to go anywhere near those three."

"Ok, I can see why the women are so protective of him, really, I can." Jiraiya responded quickly. "I remember how protective I was of my brats…" The man paused a moment before sadly taking another soft sip of his sake, and falling silent as the memories hit.

"… I remember how sensei was when Obito and Rin died." Kakashi spoke softly as he nodded his head quietly and sipped at his rice wine.

"So, you going to tell me how much I fucked up too?" Jiraiya asked curiously as he stared, dully at the silver haired man.

"Well, you sannin do seem to have a habit of running." Kakashi noted quietly as he stared into his drink for a moment. "Seems to have been the one thing all three of you have in common." He paused again, continuing to stare into his drink before shaking his head slightly. "But no, I'm not going to tell you how much you fucked up. Anko would kill me for ruining her fun, and Kurenai is starting to act disturbingly like her at times."

"What are you here for then?" Jiraiya's voice was quietly wary as he stared back at the man.

"Me? A drink of course!" Kakashi smiled happily back at the sannin, lightly patting him on the back, before his voice could be heard whispering like cold steel pressed against the sannin's neck. "And if you ever tell anyone I gave you this information, I swear I will track down Tsunade just to let her know exactly what you two did the night we were celebrating sensei's ascension to Hokage."

Jiraiya gulped viciously as he stared back at his pupil's pupil and nodded quickly. "Of course."

"Glad to see you're getting into the spirit of things!" Kakashi responded with a wide grin on his face before paling visibly. "Right, now I have to vanish before…"

"Yosh! My eternal rival!"

"Gottagobye!" The air practically crackled as Kakashi vanished in a swirl of crinkled leaves leaving Jiraiya behind with a frowning Gai.

"That was most unyouthful!"

"Gai…" Jiraiya began slowly as he lightly gave the man a look. "Please remember what I did to you the last time you started that around me. Do you need a repeat?"

"Erk! No Jiraiya-sama, SIR!" Gai responded quickly snapping to attention. "Maito, Gai, jonin, Shinobi identification number…!"

"Gai… Don't you have students you could bug?" Jiraiya took another sip of his alcohol as he glared lightly at the man.

"Well, Neji is still in the psych ward, and is on indefinite medical leave. His…" At Jiraiya's meaningful cough, Gai continued. "Nerves have been frayed a bit too far and he needs to recuperate. Lee and Tenten have gone to have a party at Naruto's."

"Much better, Gai." Jiraiya responded with mild approval. "Maybe one day you'll be able to hold an entire conversation like a normal person."

"… I think I hate you, Jiraiya-sama." Gai shot out quietly as he glared mildly at the man.

"Join the club." The sannin shot back and pointed over towards the booth the earlier trio had vacated too. "They're having a meeting right now."

"… And this does not worry you?"

"Why would it?" Jiraiya responded with a gulp of his sake and offered the man a bland smile. "I'm already going to end up going through hell, no matter which afterlife I end up in." Standing Jiraiya stretched out then lightly patted Gai on the shoulder. "Bit of advice, kid… Never let your students down… Especially not when they have scary wives that will hold a grudge well after they're dead."

Somewhere far, far away, a particularly predatory smile was gracing a red head's lips as she couldn't help but feel someone, somewhere, was complimenting her. Pausing a moment, she then mentally shrugged before she went back to making certain her husband went out of his mind with pleasure.

-o-o-o-

"Hmm… Well, I'm fairly certain this is going to at least be the friendliest Chunin Exam on record." Naruto chuckled from where he sat along with the other 7 finalists for the third stage, his eyes flitting around the group. "Now then… Here's the important question… How're we going to prank everyone?"

"You wish us… to perform a prank during the finals?" Shino commented his brow arched curiously.

"Mhm." Naruto nodded and smirked slightly as he steepled his fingers together. "So, thoughts?"

"You're quite obviously insane, and I protest this course of action most vigorously." Shino deadpanned simply.

"Anyone else need to get that out of their systems?" Naruto looked curiously around the table.

"Too much trouble."

"I'm good."

"No."

"Not that I can think of."

"Would we do that Naruto-kun?"

"Mmm hehehehehhehehe."

"And once more, I'm having childhood flashbacks." Shikamaru grumbled as he glanced towards the maniacally giggling Ino. "Can't you… ya know, do something about her?"

"I could." Naruto admitted freely as he smiled back at the boy. "But, where would the fun be in that?"

"… You just love driving me insane, don't you."

"I neither confirm nor deny that allegation, sadly." Naruto responded with a grave air about him, before grinning evilly. "But in the mean time… Poker anyone?"

That actually made Shikamaru brighten, his eyes gleaming slightly as he grinned. "Poker…?"

And with that, began the start of a night that would live on in the memories of the genin and Haku as the night that the future of Konoha truly began.

-o-o-o-

Jiraiya stared in absolute shock at the scene in front of him. A scene that would live on in the halls of infamy if he had anything to say about it. And for a moment, he wondered if perhaps he'd stumbled into some kind of insane genjutsu.

The eight finalists for the third stage of the chunin exam had settled on a table, each eying one another in between glancing at their cards, and most were not alone in their chairs. His eyes immediately sought out the familiar head of spiky blonde hair, and the familiar brunette Tsuchi perched in his lap and nuzzling affectionately against his chest. His teammates, flanked him on either side, and the white haired man could of sworn he saw their hands drifting to places not decent to mention.

Directly across from his godson, he could see Shikaku's boy, a bun haired girl perched on his own lap, fingering a kunai while she occasionally whispered into his ear, causing the boy to blush and almost drop his cards. Ever stoic, he could see the Aburame's shade's glinting slightly in the artificial light as he epitomized the poker face, even as he was the sole male sitting alone. The Uchiha, sat with a pretty boy on his lap, both of whom were smiling at one another as Jiraiya suppressed a bit of a shudder.

The final two members of the game, sat directly opposite one another. Gaara, the feared container of the Ichibi was leaning back in his chair, goard propped back up against the wall with a pink haired girl giggling on his lap, as he smiled slightly and lightly stroked her side while he glanced at his cards. Across from him, a miniature Gai sat, staring with bright wide eyes at his green eyed opponent while he held his cards in bandaged hands, and a blonde guessed was the red head's sister lounged in his lap, and lightly traced her fingers on the blushing boy's muscled arms.

A short distance away, an Akimichi was munching away at chips as he watched what appeared to be the final member of the Kazekage's children arguing with an Inuzuka. All in all, as he leaned back in the window frame, it almost brought chuckle to his lips. A group of genin who in less than a month would be battling against one another in a tournament, sitting back and relaxing together, savoring the victory they'd already achieved by making it as far as they had.

And somehow, he couldn't bring himself to even attempt to record the moment for posterity. The children of two Kages, the children of some of the most powerful and well known clans in the shinobi nations, all sitting agreeably with a pair of unknowns, and embracing it all. As he glanced from figure to figure, he couldn't help but think, somehow, this was the start of a new legend for the shinobi nations.

For the first time in many, many years, Jiraiya felt a weight lifting off his shoulders as he allowed himself to hope that maybe his sensei's Will of Fire still lived in them.

Smiling softly he merely sat there for a time, blended into the background as the genin had their fun, talking back and forth back and forth. Hiding himself in plain sight as it were with a minor little application of genjutsu. They weren't looking for him, and as long as the didn't do anything to draw attention to himself as he was wont to do while doing his research, they wouldn't notice him.

Finally as the games began to die down, he broke the genjutsu and gave a polite little cough as he continued to lean back in the window, immediately drawing everyone's eyes to him as he seemed lazily comfortable in his position.

"What do you want." Naruto's voice was flat, cold as the words left his lips, while his eyes narrowed on him.

"Mah, relax kid, I come in piece." The man chuckled slightly as he arched a brow. "Besides, didn't your clone do enough damage?"

"Not nearly." The blonde countered. "You're still able to write your smut after all."

"Eesh, not gonna let that go anytime soon, are you?" Jiraiya chuckled just a bit, before he reached into his robes and pulled out a weathered book, before tossing it to the boy. "Here."

As the boy warily caught the book, he glanced at the cover and arched a brow slightly. "'The Gutsy Ninja'?"

"That's where your parents got your name kid, before I started writing all my so called... smut." He chuckled slightly and leaned back resting against the frame as he took in the curious gazes that followed him through out the room. "Quite the collection of friends you've got here."

"Oi, Naruto! Who's the geezer?" Kiba shot out as he lightly glared at the man with such amusement.

"Eh, Tsume's pup I see." Jiraiya noted as he chuckled. "Half of her bark and not a tenth of her bite. Didn't your mom ever teach you to be careful about what fights you pick?"

"Probably, but Kiba was most likely chasing at his own tail when she did." Ino offered as she leaned against her chair, studying her teammate's godfather. "So, what brings one of the sannin to Naruto-kun's window."

Now that started a reaction, as Kiba and Kankuro's eyes widened like saucers, while Tenten went rigid on Shikamaru's lap, as the boy beneath her raised a brow lightly. Lee perked up slightly, as Temari merely arched a brow elegantly upwards. Sakura's eyes widened as well, though more in respectful awe than anything, while the remainder of the genins' eyes were neutral or unreadable.

"Jiraiya-sama!" Came chorused from Kankuro and Kiba.

"Tsunade-sama's teammate!" Was sent squealing past Tenten's lips.

"Joy... fan boys and a fan girl..." Jiraiya paused a moment before sighing. "Always fan boys for me, never fan girls."

"Be glad." Sasuke spoke up with a slightly amused chuckle while he rested his chin on Haku's shoulder. "They're very, very annoying." He paused a moment, before glancing meaningfully from Ino to Sakura.

"Hey! That stopped the day we got our teams for me, thank you very much!" Ino huffed softly as she glared at the Uchiha. "Don't make me send you running around Konoha dressed in pink, screaming how you're a 'Pretty Princess'!"

The boy immediately paled further as he stared at her, pleadingly, "You wouldn't do that do me, would you, Ino-chan?"

"I'll give you 50 ryo if you do." Haku countered before grinning at the look of shocked betrayal on Sasuke's face. "I think you'd look good in pink. You never complain when you see me in my little pink yukata."

"... Don't even think about it, Ino-chan." Naruto warned as he lightly glared towards his blonde teammate. "I do NOT need the image of Spanky in pink shouting that."

"Awww..." The response could be heard, chorused by Ino, Haku, Hinata, Tenten, and Sakura, before the broke into a soft flow of giggles.

"I thank you from the bottom of my heart Naruto, I really, really do." Sasuke spoke up sincerely as he slumped back in his seat, before winking at Ino. "Though, if you want to do that to Naruto..."

"NO!" Was immediately chorused by both Naruto and Jiraiya and both for relatively the same reason as Naruto grudgingly nodded towards the man.

"I've already had my notes destroyed, I don't need to have my eyes boiled and my brain melted by seeing my godson parading about Konoha like that." Jiraiya shuddered softly as he made a queasy face

There was a pause for a moment, before the rest of the group turned their attention back and forth from Jiraiya to Naruto, as the blonde teen palmed his face softly in frustration as the group burst into cries and variations of: "GODSON!?"

Groaning softly as his teammates lightly patted him on the shoulder and Kin nibbled at his neck, Naruto glared mildly at the rest of the assembled genin. "I just found out today. Part of the reason I'm going to be making that ANBU squad's life a living hell for the next few weeks."

"Now, Naruto-kun, that's not nice." Hinata scolded him lightly as she glanced at her teammate.

"… He was accusing me of lying about having a meeting with the Hokage to cover for a prank these two," he paused, gesturing from Kin to Gaara, "Performed in my absence."

"I stand by what I said." Gaara responded simply as he lightly held his arms about Sakura's waist. "I am not responsible for what I do when I'm bored and have ready access to pranking supplies."

"… You have entirely too much time on your hands." Naruto countered with a grumble as he lightly glared at the teen. "You should…" He paused a moment, before glancing at Sakura. "Find someone to help you with your little tanuki problem."

"Tanuki problem..?" Sakura arched a brow, before turning her head and glancing down at Gaara curiously.

"I don't sleep, because I get nightmares." Gaara said flatly as he lightly glared at Naruto. "Of a giant tanuki trying to devour my soul."

Kankuro and Temari shifted nervously as they glanced at their little brother, before their eyes flicked to each other, then Naruto, then towards the serious expression on the sannin's face. Gulping, audibly, the pair lightly shrank down into their seats and did their best to not be noticed. Much to the amusement of Jiraiya.

"Oh, by the way, kid, how well can the rest of the brats that aren't in on things keep a secret?" The white haired man asked curiously as he would lean carefully back on the window frame. "Because, if you think they can, the old man authorized me to let them in on things so they can be ready."

"…In on things?" Temari spoke up, arching a brow even as she stiffened visibly on Lee's lap, while a silent Kankuro reacted much the same.

"Well, Kiba's a loud mouth…" Naruto noted with a slight look of amusement on his lips. "And an almost irredeemable pervert… So's Kankuro, but at least Kiba can be trusted with things that aren't feminine and lacy."

"Hey!" Kiba growled slightly at the boy, almost pouting in protest.

"So, I suppose the only ones who are in question, are Temari and Kankuro." Naruto responded simply as he lightly glanced at his cards and laid them out on the table, face down. "You know them better than I do, what do you think, Gaara?"

"I would hate to have to kill them." Gaara admitted as he shifted thoughtfully. "At least, Temari. Kankuro I'm still up in the air on."

"Hey!" It was Kankuro's turn to pout as he glared mildly at his brother.

"Why do I get the feeling that no matter what, I'm screwed?" Temari spoke up, sighing slightly.

"Well, as I doubt they'll be able to get away…" Naruto noted with a chuckle as he leaned back in his seat before addressing the group. "During the Third Exam, a combination of forces from Sound and Sand are planning on attacking and invading Konoha."

He paused a moment, letting the information sink into their heads as Temari's and Kankuro's faces immediately turned ashen while he continued. "One of the major portions of the plan was unleashing one of the tailed demons on Konoha." After a moment, Naruto shrugged and waved his hand negligently. "Oh, and the plan is masterminded by Sound, which is lead by Orochimaru, the snake sannin."

Temari could feel Lee's grip on her suddenly becoming far more firm than was necessary, while her own body went rigid with tension, slowly, she looked back down into his wide eyes and found them staring, angrily back up at her was he said not a word. Kankuro found himself pinned in place by an angry glare and a pair of growls from Kiba and Akamaru as Chouji set down his bag of chips. Sakura then turned her head and glanced questioningly down at the completely relaxed and at ease Gaara, who simply smiled back up at her.

"Don't look at me, I'm on your side." The red head responded with a slight shrug of his shoulders, causing his siblings to stare at him in absolute shock. "What? You thought I'd willingly turn on people willing to be my friends?"

"But… But… Our village! Our Father!" Kankuro protested, only to be pinned by a slightly annoyed glare from Temari.

"You mean, our father who…" Temari paused a moment, before glancing back at Gaara, who sighed slightly then picked a thoroughly confused Sakura up off his lap and settled her onto the floor next to him.

"What my sister was going to say, was our father, who sacrificed our mother to seal the Ichibi, Shukaku, inside of me, then used our uncle to befriend and then attempt to assassinate me." He paused a moment, before shrugging a bit. "And then kept sending assassin after assassin after me." Turning his head he looked directly into Sakura's bright, wide, emerald eyes. "I am a jinchuuriki. And me unleashing my power on Konoha is one of the major parts of the invasion plan."

"Which, apparently you're not going to do." Temari noted carefully as she studied her little brother. "Correct?"

"Your jonin instructor and Naruto both made deals with the Hokage to have Gaara join the Leaf." Jiraiya offered up with a slight smirk. "From what I understand it, Baki bought amnesty for you two as well."

"Fuck." Kankuro twitched slightly as he slumped back into the couch. "So, basically we have the choice of joining the Leaf, or dying."

"Because, no way they'll let us live for this after word gets out." Temari agreed with a shrug. "Well, I was debating doing it anyway, so what the hell."

"Temari?!" Kankuro stared at his sister, his eyes bugging slightly in shock.

"What? You actually LIKE Suna? Especially under our father?" Temari growled softly as she glared at her sibling. "You like how he treats us? As nothing but his tools to further his ambitions? Do you think I like how EVERY SINGLE guy or girl I liked, he scared off?! Ya know what? Fuck it, I like it here, I'm staying."

"Besides, she wants to find out how much stamina Lee has." Ino put in with a wicked grin on her face, causing both Temari and Lee to blush brightly.

"I neither confirm, nor deny that statement!" Temari responded, even as she grinned slightly.

"… Rassa frazzin…" Kankuro grumbled slightly as he buried his face in his hands. "How'm I supposed to get my puppeteering supplies now?"

"Mah, don't worry about it kid, once this little stupidity's over, I'll bug old lady Chiyo until she hands over her scrolls and what not." Jiraiya responded with a wave of his hand. "She likes me too much to try and kill me for it."

"… Old lady Chiyo doesn't like ANYONE. Especially from the Leaf. I mean her rants against Tsunade are legendary!" Kankuro countered with a grumble. "How the hell can she like you?!"

"Tsunade was going to grind her puppets into dust." Jiraiya responded with a shrug and a grin. "I convinced her not to. She owes me for that."

"… I don't suppose you have any black mail material on Sasori?" Kankuro offered hopefully, as he ducked away from the glares his siblings sent him. "Hey! He might be a missing nin, but he's a genius puppeteer!"

Jiraiya twitched slightly. "He also has the only spy network out there that rivals my own." Slowly and carefully the sannin shook his head. "You wanna avoid Sasori kid. He hasn't been right in the head since his parents died."

"Damn." Kankuro sighed slightly before slumping down and grumbling before looking up hopefully at the man. "Can I get your autograph at least?"

"Heh, sure kid." Jiraiya chuckled softly before glancing back at the rest of the group. "So, yeah, thanks to the information provided by their jonin instructor…"

"Baki." Gaara offered helpfully as he glanced back at the still bewildered looking Sakura.

"Yes, Baki, along with what we learned about the Sound side of things from little Kinuko there." Jiraiya continued as the girl glared mildly at him. "We know that we've got a bit of a situation on hand."

"And since my team is already in the thick of it, figured you might as well let the rest of them know what's going on so they can be ready?" Naruto offered up as he soothingly stroked Kin's hair.

"Yup." Jiraiya agreed with a quiet nod of his head, before glancing over at Gaara. "So, Shukaku's giving you trouble?"

"No more than he always does." Gaara responded quietly, still staring at Sakura.

"Oi, Haruno, you just gonna stand there, staring, or you gonna get back on his lap already?" Naruto groused as he glared mildly at the pink haired girl. "He's the same Gaara he's been since you met."

"It's just a lot to take in." Sakura responded as she slowly moved back onto Gaara's lap. "Jinchuuriki… tend to have bad reputations."

"Well, considering how we're treated, not exactly surprising." Naruto grumbled, before instantly freezing in place as he felt everyone but Gaara and Jiraiya's eyes lock onto him and he could hear the sannin moan behind him.

"Suddenly, I feel extraordinarily worried about the success of this operation." Jiraiya muttered softly as he leaned back and sighed. "Might as well tell them kid, you're the only one that can besides sensei."

"I don't suppose we can just ignore that last tidbit?" Naruto offered up hopefully as he glanced around the room, carefully avoiding the incredulous stares Hinata and Ino were giving him. "Just a simple slip of the tongue."

"None of them knew?" Gaara offered, actually curious as he lightly stroked his fingers tentatively against Sakura's stomach.

"Mah, so Naruto's the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi." Shikamaru offered up with a shrug. "He's still the same troublesome blonde we've always known."

When everyone else turned their attention to stare at the Nara, he simply shrugged back at them. "Well, look at his birthdate. All things considered, what ELSE could he be a jinchuuriki of?"

"Yeah, definitely Shikaku's brat." Jiraiya chuckled as he shook his head slowly and leaned back still as he looked towards Naruto. "Your show kid."

"Fine." Naruto responded with a shrug. "The Fourth sealed the Kyuubi in me to protect the village. He wanted me to be seen as a hero, it didn't happen. I didn't know until the day I became a genin. I didn't tell anyone, because honestly, other than a few occasions, I completely and utterly ignore it, and it ignores me."

He paused a moment, before shrugging a bit. "Gaara gets his sand because of his demon, I get more chakra than I know what to do with, and I heal fast. I completely and utterly refuse to have anything else to do with the furry bastard. Questions?" He didn't even give anyone a chance to respond before he continued. "Now, moving on."

"Hold it!" Hinata spoke up as she glared at Naruto. "So, you've known about this since you made genin and you didn't tell Ino-chan and me?!"

"I don't talk about it, I don't think about it, I pretty much IGNORE it." Naruto countered. "Just because they want to try and treat me like a jinchuuriki, doesn't mean I have to act like one." He paused before glancing at Gaara. "No offense Gaara."

"None taken. I've known what I was for a while, and I wasn't ever allowed to forget." The boy lightly rested his chin on Sakura's shoulder as he unconsciously tightened his arms about her waist. "I was made to be a weapon, you a shield." He paused a moment, before shrugging a bit. "Kinda ironic all things considered."

"Yeah, the guy with the absolute defense being made to be a weapon." Naruto chuckled slightly as he shrugged a bit.

"There was talk of doing that to Naruto." Jiraiya spoke up quietly. "Several people were advising it in fact. Wanting to harness the power of the Kyuubi and what not."

"Ok… I know I'm not exactly the smartest person in this room." Kiba spoke up as he shuddered slightly. "But even I can tell that's a bad idea. Can you imagine someone as devious as Naruto actually being trained to be a weapon?"

Even Gaara shuddered at that, as Naruto felt Kin snuggling back against his chest and he looked lightly around the room. "So, just so you know, talking about that with anyone who doesn't already know is an instant death sentence."

"And sensei is very adamant about that." Jiraiya affirmed as he looked around the room. "All right. So, everyone clear that Naruto is NOT the fox, yes?"

At the string of affirmative nods around the room, Hinata spoke up. "Yes, but… we WILL be having words about keeping secrets from us!"

"Hey, I never deliberately didn't tell you, it just never came up." Naruto countered with a huff. "Being a jinchuuriki doesn't exactly come up in a conversation."

"Well, one never knows when you're involved, Naruto." Sasuke shot back with a teasing little smirk. "Blackmail material doesn't generally come up in most people's conversations, and yet, it's in a surprisingly large amount of yours."

"What can I say? I get around." Naruto shot back with a waggle of his brows before turning to his teammates. "Would you say girls?"

"Oh, I know he gets around our curves just fine." Ino grinned back as she almost purred out her response. "And how!"

"Well, now that we've got all that settled…" Jiraiya interrupted as he smiled, sweetly at the group. "We get to talk about the important thing… What kind of training you kiddies will be doing in this long, long month."

The group let out a collective groan while the man rubbed his hands together and cackled softly. Taking a moment to study the obvious glee the sannin took in the situation, Shikamaru then turned his head and glared mildly at Naruto. "Yes… he's definitely your godfather."

"… I wish people would quit reminding me."


	20. Chapter 20

Bondage Style:

Chapter 20:

Disclaimer: Naruto and Co belong to Kishimoto

Author's Notes: Just so ya'll know, when I say nearing the end, I still have a number of chapters to go. Only Echoes is actually close to its end.

Took a break to play Overlord 2, otherwise would've had this done a lot faster. Fun game, but the Yeti was way too accurate with its explosive barrels.

-o-o-o-

Naruto whistled happily as he strolled his way towards his target, completely ignore the looks sent his way as his coat dangled off to one side as he walked along the wall. Smiling happily as he made his way to one window in particular, he carefully grinned as he rapped against it. For a moment, nothing happened, and the boy was left to grin patiently in expectation.

After a moment, he rapped again, before again waiting in place. Finally, a frown marred his lips and he let off a slight sigh of disappointment. "Ah, lazy, lazy, lazy."

"Ahem." Naruto glanced over his shoulder to make note of the purple haired, cat masked ANBU woman standing behind him.

"Hey, what's new, pussy cat?" Naruto offered with a bemused grin on his lips as he lightly stuck his hands in his jacket.

"Not terribly much." The woman responded easily enough as she glanced back at the window before studying him carefully as her head canted to the side. "Do I want to know why you're at my squad leader's window."

"… He's your squad leader?" Naruto winced in sympathy and sighed slightly. "My condolences."

"… What'd he do?" The woman could feel her stomach dropping as she looked at the boy and fought back the urge to let a frightened whimper escape her lips.

"Volunteered his squad to help me with my training up until the third exam?" Naruto offered helpfully.

"… Let me rephrase." The woman paused a moment, before taking a deep, settling breath. "What the hell did that idiot do this time to piss you off?"

"Oh, that what did he do."

"Mhm."

"Sure you want to know?"

"Kinda need to know here, kid."

"Well it is a touch embarrassing, I wasn't in the best of moods you understand." Naruto almost blushed as he lightly scratched the back of his head. "You see, I'd just gotten back from a particularly illuminating discussion with the Hokage of a sensitive, personal nature…"

"He told you who your parents were, got it, moving on." The ANBU pressed as she crossed her arms about her chest and lightly tapped her foot on the wall.

"… Did EVERYONE know but me?" Naruto grumbled slightly as he mildly glared back at the woman.

"I don't know WHO they are." The woman countered as she seemed to be glaring down at him. "I just figured that'd be about the only thing that the Hokage could do to piss you off."

"… Oh, that's different." Naruto nodded his head in understanding before he glanced over towards the window. "As I was saying, I was having that discussion with the Hokage of a sensitive, personal nature, then…"

"Plus, you only call him the Hokage when you're upset with him." The ANBU interrupted with a shrug, some how conveying an innocent smile on her masked face. "Just figured I'd let you know."

"Thanks." The boy responded sourly as he paused a moment, then gave her a patient look. "So, anything else you'd like to add before I continue with what your squad leader did?"

"No, but I reserve the right to interrupt you when it'd be funny." Hands fell to her hips, before she gestured negligently with her hand. "So, please, do continue."

"Hmm… I think I like you." Naruto responded with a grin. "After I left the Hokage, I stopped by the Hyuga compound and had a meeting with Hiashi for close to 2 hours. I then returned to my apartment to find my guest and Kin-chan calmly sipping tea and smiling innocently at me."

He paused a moment, before smirking a bit. "Naturally, I immediately knew that they'd been up to some manner of mischief."

"Mischief?" She seemed amused at his choice of words as she crossed her arms about her chest.

"Yes, well, it seemed a more mature thing to say than to refer to it as pranking the hell out of someone." Naruto responded back with grin as he shrugged a bit. "Anyway, Kin and Gaara, you know, red head, son of the Kazekage?"

"Walks around with bubblegum attached to his arm?"

"Bubblegum?"

"What, you think you're the only one that's allowed to give people nicknames?" She seemed mildly offended at that, leaning forward as her hands came down to rest on her hips.

"No, simply clarifying that you were referring to the cherry flavored type." He responded quickly holding up his hands in mock surrender. "As I was saying, I come home to them having their best 'I did something but you don't know what' smiles on, before I get a knock on my window."

"I take it he wasn't exactly tactful?" The woman offered with a chuckle.

"… Putting it more than a little mildly that." Naruto responded quickly as he shook his head. "He demanded I tell him where I'd been the last hour. I mean, seriously, he tried the whole tough bad ass act with me. I know this sounds egotistical, but, seriously, with ME!"

"You're right, it does sound egotistical." She agreed with a nod of her head. "Doesn't make it any less true, but still, egotistical."

"Thank you." He shot back dryly as he chuckled just a bit. "Well, after that attempt, which I was willing to ignore, because to be honest, I completely wasn't in the mood to play the avenging prankster just then…"

"Gracious of you."

"Thank you, so glad someone understands." He took a moment, his brows furrowing before he sent the woman a questioning look. "Where was I again?"

"Post ignoring his tough bad ass act." She supplied in a helpful tone.

"Ah, yes, thank you." He nodded his head in gratitude before taking a slow, cleansing breath. "Well, as I said, after I had oh so graciously let his stupidity slide, I mean I even let him go on trying to demand to know what the meeting was about!"

Now THAT sent a response through the woman as she stood, ramrod straight and looked at him as all jovial familiarity faded away. "He tried to request the information of your meeting?"

"Request? No, When I said demand, I mean that exactly." Naruto responded with a sour growl as he crossed his arms about his chest. "Then after I pointed out to him that any ANBU should know that such a thing is confidential."

"And he should, he really, truly should." The woman agreed, her own voice growling slightly.

"After I pointed that out to him, he asked me what I did after my 'alleged' meeting with the Hokage! Alleged!" Naruto growled slightly as he threw his hands up in the air and shook his head. "I mean, seriously! As if I hadn't been going to his office since I could walk!"

"The perverted giggle fits you've inspired are legendary."

"Hey! I take no responsibility for any perverted giggling. Any and all such occurrences are Icha Icha inspired and cannot be proven otherwise!"

"He was last seen holding a copy of your book."

"He was obviously thinking about the smut peddler's work while reading mine! That bastard, despoiling Sweet Silky Nights with such thoughts!"

"Is that your official stance on things?"

"Officially I disavow any knowledge of how the man got his hands on my books and I've never heard of any perverted giggling save from Jiraiya when he's not stalking me."

"I am NOT stalking you!" A voice protested above the before both figures turned their heads to see a glowering Jiraiya on the walls above them. "You're just avoiding me, and I've been trying to talk to you."

"Save me ANBU-chan! He's trying to corrupt me to his evil Icha Icha ways! He wants to drain my manly powers and reduce me to a shriveled husk of a man…" Naruto paused a moment, before shuddering violently. "He's trying to… to… Turn me into Kakashi!"

"… Did you actually expect that to work?" The ANBU woman just stared down at the boy with absolute incredulity as she shook her head.

"Well it would work if Anko-chan or Kurenai-sensei were here." The boy shot back with the slightest pout to his lips.

"… Has Anko-san stopped attacking him on sight?"

"… Kurenai-sensei said neither of us are allowed to anymore." Naruto pouted softly as he crossed his arms about his chest. "Something about property damages not being anything compared to the therapy bills."

"I can believe that." Jiraiya muttered slightly. "First time the kid realized who I was, he threw a damned butt plug at me."

"Best way to shut up an asshole." The words came from the ANBU's mask as Jiraiya turned his head and stared at her in shock. "What? You say it like you're the first person he's done it to."

"… I'm afraid to ask."

"Kankuro, that one sound guy… various people who don't know when to keep their mouths shut…" Naruto lightly tapped his fingers and shrugged just a bit as he grinned. "I get a discount because I buy so many."

"… And they don't find you buying your butt plugs in bulk odd?"

"Oh no, not after I send them the pictures of what I use them for." Naruto shook his head with a grin. "Why, I think they even made a full page advertisement out of them. 'Butt plugs, you know a better way of shutting up an asshole?'"

Jiraiya buried his face in his palm and sighed softly before chuckling just a bit. "I still stand by the fact that it's a good joke."

"Yes, but it's MY joke, thank you very much!" Naruto responded defiantly. "And if I EVER hear that you used it in one of your books…" His eyes glinted with dark promise as he growled softly. "I'll track down Tsunade and put on the best poor innocent act you've ever seen and tell her all about how you're trying to corrupt me."

"You, poor and innocent?" Jiraiya rolled his eyes slightly as he smirked back at the boy in amusement.

And wordlessly, the boy gestured, and transformed into a slightly younger version of himself, his eyes a bit wider, glistening with tears with his cheeks smudged slightly, dressed in a ragged grey yukata that had seen better days. "B-b-big sister! This… This big, smelly, scary guy keeps chasing me around with these big scary toads, he keeps trying to force me to read this pervert book! Everywhere I go, h-he pops up! I can't sleep, otherwise he'll show, trying to force it on me!"

"… He's good." The ANBU woman said with approval as she studied the boy sniffling before her. "I know he's completely full of shit and I'm STILL tempted to protect him from you and beat you to a bloody pulp."

"… I swear, you're going to be the death of me, kid." Jiraiya grumbled slightly as he eyed the boy who smirked so easily back at him. "You're down right evil, you know that, right?"

"Who, me?" The boy stared up at the man, wide eyes glistening even more before he turned towards the purple haired woman. "Big sister! Did you see that! He called me EVIL!"

"… I'm starting to agree with him." The ANBU woman noted

"Yeesh, you're no fun." The boy pouted softly before reverting back to his normal form in another quick flash of smoke. "Now, I really do need to get started on tormenting her Squad Leader."

"Why don't you leave that to me, Naruto-san?" The woman offered carefully. "I need to report his breach of protocol to the Hokage as it is."

"But… But… What'm I supposed to do for training then!?"

"Do you really get that much out of it anymore, Naruto-san?"

"Who said I'm the one getting trained?" The boy responded cryptically before releasing his grip on the wall and bouncing away.

-o-o-o-

"... You know, really, seriously, stalking me is creepy." Naruto growled slightly as he glared back at the white haired man easily keeping pace with him across the rooftops. "Shouldn't you be off, you know, giggling pervertedly as you do what you call, and I use the word only because you do, 'research?'"

"No, not really." Jiraiya responded as he grinned back at the boy and chuckled a bit. "Actually trying to think what I could teach you."

"Not interested." Naruto responded back, not even looking at the man.

"Not even Toad Summoning or one of your father's techniques?"

"I'm not my father, remember?" Naruto shot back, lightly glaring at the man as he looked back over his shoulder for only a second. "I'm following my own path."

"... Could you at least learn them so that you can pass them on one day, to someone that could use them?" Jiraiya asked in a soft, almost silent voice. "The Rasengan deserves to not be lost."

"Then teach it to someone." Naruto shot back, growling softly. "I told you, I'm not interested in anything you have to teach!" And with that, the blonde boy speed up, even as the toad sannin slowed down, eventually coming to a stop as he watched the black fluttering coat vanished into the distance.

"Kami, did I ever screw up." Turning his head, Jiraiya studied the stern face of Minato staring back at him from the Hokage monument and for the first time in years, he could feel the weight of his age on his shoulders. Lifting up his hand, a sudden glowing blue sphere swirled into existence and for the longest time, he simply stared down into its depths, hoping that perhaps he could find the answers he sought in its depths.

"I'm sorry Minato." Letting the orb slowly disperse, he lifted his head for an instant, almost daring to meet the face's eyes, before his gaze fell once more and he shook his head. "Looks like Orochimaru was right about me."

Turning his head, Jiraiya reached out, pulling out the familiar notebook in his hand, the cover lightly flecked with pink paint, before he tossed it into the air and with a blur of hand signals sent a stream of liquid fire blast across it. "Not until I can meet your eyes again, Minato." Standing there quietly, the sannin watched as the ashes of his work slowly danced away, carried off where ever the soft wind would take it.

-o-o-o-

Shikamaru grumbled slightly as he was forced to continually dodge and weave around absently flung kunai from Tenten as the girl was deep in a discussion with Kankuro.

"See? If you start having your puppet carry sealing scrolls..." She was pointing out, a wicked grin curling upon her lips as she flung a kunai at Shikamaru. "We can increase the number of weapons it can carry exponentially!"

"True." Kankuro admitted, before he paused a bit. "Hey, isn't Jiraiyas-sama a Seal Master?"

"Supposed to be, I think." Tenten agreed as she quickly fired off three kunai in rapid succession. "Why?"

"Because of this!" The puppeteer pulled out a scroll and showed her the various diagrams he'd put together for his idea. "Its too bulky for me to carry it around like I do Karasu, and it completely ruins his mobility, but if we could get it sealed onto his back..."

"Oh, sweet mother of all things sharp and pointy..." Tenten's breath hitched in her throat as her eyes widened. "Is that... is that... an automatic kunai launcher?!"

"Plus, there's this one..." Kankuro added as he showed her another diagram. "It uses an explosive seal inside the spheres that's timed to go off roughly 3 seconds after launch."

"..." Tenten paused, and stared a kunai falling limp from her fingers as she twitched slightly before speaking. "Exploding balls of sharp, pointy destruction?"

"Yup!" Kankuro agreed with a grin. "Normally, kinda useless against high level nins who'd dodge out of the way... but showering enemy ranks with them during a battle?"

"Excuse me a moment." With that, Tenten rose up and stalked over to Shikamaru, leaving Kankuro to pull out various other designs he had on him and begin to run over them as he fiddled around with the configurations he'd prefer for Karasu.

While Kankuro worked, the bun haired girl grabbed Shikamaru by the back of his jacket and dragged him off behind a tree. After several, long moments, a grinning Tenten returned, dragging a disheveled Shikamaru with her, his eyes glazed and dazed in confusion. As he was brought up to Kankuro, lucidity finally seemed to return to his eyes as he half glared at the Suna teen.

"What the hell did you show her?!" Shikamaru twitched slightly and grumbled as he crossed his arms about his chest and released a slow sigh of annoyance.

"Just some weapon designs I've been toying around with that I need a Seal Master to help me with to make em viable for Karasu." Kankuro responded with a shrug as he lightly pushed some of the designs towards Shikamaru.

The Nara paused a moment, and frowned slightly as he studied the designs, his brow furrowing even as he looked at the teen boy. "... Do you have the base design for Karasu?"

"Yeah, why?" Kankuro arched a brow curiously as he pulled out a scroll and offered it up to the Nara.

"Because, if we put these two together, we get a much better anti-infantry model... you can use these to herd them into place, then..."

"Use this to cut em down?"

"Mhmhmhm... but if we add this with this... it stays lighter, while..."

"Close combat specialty." Kankuro quickly agreed as he paused a moment and then frowned. "We REALLY need to talk to Jiraiya-sama... if we put our heads together..."

"MWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tenten was cackling, eagerly as she nodded her head, her eyes shining, before she paused, looking at Kankuro. "You're teaching me puppeteering."

"Err.... sure." Kankuro agreed quickly. "But let's wait until after things get going in the Third round, ok?"

"Right... Let's see about getting the full ideas about what attack modes would work best with Karasu first before we talk to him, so we can present him with the results we're trying to achieve."

-o-o-o-

"So..." Inoichi looked down at his cheerfully grinning daughter and arched a brow slightly. "You want me to teach you what again?"

"The group mind/body confusion technique of course!" Ino chirruped back as she grinned at her father and lightly lay her hands on her hips.

"But... it's a one on one tournament." The man blinked slightly as he stared back at his daughter.

"Oh, wait, you haven't been informed yet, have you?" Ino blinked slightly and then sighed as she crossed her arms about her chest. "Damned lazy old bastard."

"... I'm going to pretend you weren't referring to our Hokage." Inoichi muttered as he lightly settled into his seat. "All right, honey, why don't you explain it to me?"

"Can't." Ino grumbled slightly as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "The old man has to."

"... You've been spending entirely too much time around Naruto, you know that?" The older Yamanaka sighed slightly and shook his head as he lightly slumped back down into his seat. "How're you planning to win your match?"

"I can't tell you that." Ino responded simply with a slight smirk on her lips. "That would ruin the surprise!"

"You've got something planned, obviously." Inoichi sighed slightly before shaking his head. "You're going to drive me to turn into Shikaku, you know that, don't you, Ino?"

"Hmph, I kinda doubt that." Ino countered with a slight smirk on her lips as she mildly tapped her lower lip. "I just can't see Shikaku getting away with showing up all pimped out in front of young, impressionable genin."

"You're not going to let me live that down, are you?" Inoichi groaned slightly before shaking his head a bit and smirking slightly. "Of course, I don't think that Shikaku gets laid anywhere near as much as I do these days."

"Ewwwww...! I do NOT need to know about my father's sex life!" Ino whined softly and shook her head, shuddering just a bit. "Look, if you have to, go run to the Hokage and ask him, but I really think I need to learn that technique."

"You think I won't?" Inoichi arched a brow lightly as he studied his daughter.

"Actually, I think you should, along with Shikaku and Chouza." Ino responded as she shrugged slightly. "I'm kinda surprised he hasn't started..."

An ANBU suddenly appeared outside of the window, as he peered inside. "Yamanaka-san, the Hokage requests your presence at the tower as soon as you're able to come."

"See?" Ino responded with a triumphant smirk on her lips. "Told you!"

"... You know, you've just made her insufferable for the next few days, right?" Inoichi glared mildly at the ANBU.

"Um, sorry?" A sheepish response left the crane masked face before the figure jumped back and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Well, this better enlighten me about what's going on, princess." Inoichi grumbled a bit. "Mind the shop while I'm away, will you?"

"Uh huh, sure." Ino responded, grinning as she rubbed her hands together thoughtfully.

"... This better be good." The man grumbled softly under his breath even as he vanished in a swirl of leaves himself.

-o-o-o-

"Yosh! You are most excellent at long ranged attack, Temari-chan!" Lee grinned broadly as he did his best to race out of the way of hurricane force winds that she launched his way.

"Fat lotta good it's doing me." Temari muttered slightly as she glared a bit at the thick browed boy. "You keep holding back, so I'm having trouble figuring out how much to compensate for."

"Ah, but you keep getting closer and closer to catching me!" Lee grinned back at her, his teeth shining as he danced out of the way of a cutting wind that scarred the tree behind him. "Most..."

"Lee-kun." The words were syrupy sweet as they left her lips. "We've talked about your use of THAT word."

Gulping, audibly, Lee rapidly nodded his head, his face visibly pale, he'd already learned very, very quickly, and rather painfully to pay VERY close attention when she made use of that suffix and tone. "Yes ma'am!"

"Good boy." She smirked back at him, before sighing slightly and shaking her head. "This is no good. I'm not going to really improve that much doing things this way..."

"If I might make a suggestion?" A new voice spoke up as Gai popped up. "While it is good to see you and my most...MMPH!"

Temari smirked slightly as she watched Lee quickly slap his hand over his instructor's mouth, silencing him before he could complete his sentence. "Gai-sensei! Temari-chan is most adamant about word choice!" The teen paused a moment, removing his hand from the man's mouth as he bowed his head slightly. "And... I must admit, considering what happened during the preliminaries..."

"Lee, surely you do not believe..." Gai began before he heard the soft cough interrupting him from where Temari leaned against her now closed fan.

"Look, Gai, right?" Temari was glaring, mildly at the man as she leaned on her fan. "I honestly don't care about you personal preferences in things. My brother is a pathetic pervert himself, but in spite of it, I still love him." Her glare intensified then as her eyes narrowed into slits. "I do however, draw the line at pushing your deviancy onto Lee."

"I am NOT...!" The Jounin immediately began to sputter and protest as he stared back at the girl.

"Let Lee can develop his own deviancy, thank you." Temari shot back as she lightly grumbled. "And we'll see how compatible they are with mine."

"Your deviancy, Temari-chan?" Lee blinked slightly, as if unable to fully wrap his mind around the concept.

"Look, Lee, any ninja worth a damned has some kinda deviancy, insanity, quirk and/or kink that stands out. It's how we handle the stress." Casually stretching out, the blonde girl shouldered her fan then sauntered up to the wide eyed boy and casually ran a finger along his jaw. "And if you're good, and show me that I can trust you... well..." She leaned in, and whispered quietly into the boy's ear.

As Lee immediately went crimson, a small trickle of blood began to drip from his nose, before he stared back at a slightly blushing Temari. "... Really?"

"Mhm." Temari smirked slightly back at the boy before shrugging a bit. "That's an if though. Completely conditional on YOU."

"Yosh! If I cannot..." Lee's eyes were burning as he pumped his fist, reflexively starting in on his rant before he could feel Temari's finger pressed against his lips, silencing him. "If you can't, then I'll find someone who can. I don't want to hear about how hare you'll work for it, Lee. I want you to SHOW me that you can do it." Her finger pulled back at that and she cocked her hip to the side. "Got it?"

"Yes, Temari-chan!" The boy responded quickly, nodding his head before he turned his attention to an unreadable Gai. "Gai-sensei, you said you had some ideas on how we can train more effectively?"

"Ah, yes." Gai responded nodding his head quietly in an almost subdued fashion, his eyes almost conflicted as he debated the scene in front of him. "Lee's training... I'm sure you've seen the results of it, yes Temari-san?"

"Mhm." The blonde agreed quietly, nodding her head. "However, I'm not looking to become a taijutsu monster like he is."

"Of course." Gai nodded his head solemnly as he fought down the urge to raise his thumb in approval. "Now, the question becomes, do you use strength or your chakra to create your winds?"

"A bit of both." Temari admitted as she shrugged slightly. "I more use my chakra to enhance what I'd normally be able to do without it."

"Ah, then what we should do is get you a training fan!" Gai grinned happily and nodded his head as he considered the implications. "I'm sure you're familiar with such a method, now, have you gone through elemental training?"

"The original fan I was trained on channeled chakra easier." Temari responded with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "After I got old enough I graduated to this one. And... Other than a test to verify that I was a wind type..."

"Ah! Then I have an idea of just what to do for you!" Gai grinned happily before pausing just a moment and cupping his chin. "Though, it is likely the short term results will not be overly spectacular."

"Eh, long term training regime works good too." Temari admitted as she shrugged a bit and continued to lean against her fan, eying him slightly. "I'm not going to wear one of your green suits though."

The man gave her an almost puppy dog look, before bowing his head and sighing as he gave her a nod. "Very well, though I would recommend getting something tight that will making it harder for you to move." At her reluctant nod of understanding, the jonin carefully continued. "All right then... For the first few days, we'll have you working on our elemental training, but I will need your fan."

"... My... fan?" Temari reflexively tightened her grip on her weapon, as she glared mildly at the man.

"Yes, I need to present it to the appropriate shop so they can match the size and balance of it to the specifications I have in mind. Once that is done, I will happily return it to you... Though you will want to use the one I'm having you made until a few days before you're planning to take a mission." Gai smiled at her again before he walked over to a tree and plucked a leaf off it. "In the mean time, you'll be working on this."

"... I know you guys are the Village Hidden in the Leaf, but, a leaf?" Temari stared back at the man who chuckled softly then picked up another leaf and held it up in front of her eyes.

"This is how we do our elemental training to begin with." And with that, the leaf in Gai's hand burst into a flame. "What you'll be working on doing is cutting this with your chakra. Just the leaf." He paused, grinning softly at her. "If you can get past that before your fan is ready, I will show you the next part of the training."

"If?" Temari glowered slightly at the man as she took the leaf and glared at it mildly.

"Yes, if." He agreed with a smile. "It does normally take 6 months to get that far."

-o-o-o-

"… Chouji, aren't you going to go out and help your friends train?" Chouza Akimichi put forth delicately as he looked down at where his son was quietly munching away at his chips.

"Might be." The boy agreed as he munched another chip, savoring it with a half smile as he leaned back a bit against another chip.

"Weren't you in the group given special information about what's coming with the finals?" The man put forth carefully.

"That is a rather distinct possibility, yes." Again the boy agreed with his father.

"Then, would you mind telling me why you're here, instead of helping them train?"

"Because Tenten scares me and she's always around Shikamaru these days." Chouji responded quite reasonably. "And I'm not going to be around Ino without Shikamaru there was a buffer because otherwise then she scares me too."

"Ah, and your other friends?" That the man understood. Nara men did tend to attract some rather scary women into their lives.

"… Weeeeeeellllll…" Chouji began before rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Hinata's gonna be working with her father, not really much I could do there other than being a training dummy…"

"Ah." Chouza winced slightly and nodded. "Not a pleasant thing that. I remember when Hiashi's wife used the three of us as training dummies…"

"Which brings me to Naruto." The boy agreed, nodding his head as he rubbed his chin just a bit. "Well, I suppose I could always see about helping him drive the ANBU insane with paranoia. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know anywhere near as much as I do about spices and poisons that could be placed in their food…"

Chouza paused a moment, opening his mouth as if to speak, before pausing as he lightly clamped it shut again a moment later. "Well, we'll leave that as a possibility for down the road."

"Yeah, I didn't think it was a good idea either. Kami knows how the hell Naruto gets away with it."

"Fear of escalation." Chouza responded simply with a slight shrug. "You've seen how bad he is when he's just having fun. When he's actually upset with someone, well… The results aren't pretty."

"Worse than chunin flag baby?"

"Mhm."

"Right, Naruto's out."

"Well at least for this month." Chouza admitted, before grinning slightly with a twinkle in his eyes. "It could still be good training."

"… Damn." Chouji muttered slightly and sighed as he bit into another chip. "Well, Lee's working with Temari, and Gai again I'd imagine…"

"No." Chouza put his foot down as the glare in his eyes rippled into his voice. "You do NOT want to expose yourself to that."

"I'm more worried about what he'd expose in front of me honestly." Chouji responded with a shudder as he thought back the prelims. "Besides, I've seen what happened to Lee, I'm in no mood to repeat it."

"Yes, well… right." Chouza nodded his head in understanding. "What about Team 7?"

"Spanky and Co all headed out." Chouji responded with a shrug.

"Spanky?" A slight twitch rippled around the older man's face.

"Sasuke." Chouji clarified. "He and Haku are working with Kakashi, and I think Kiba's helping out. Shino's working with his clan to expand on things with his bugs."

"Ah yes, I see." Chouza didn't actually, but he wasn't about to say that. "Then… Huh… is that all of your friends?"

"Well, I'm not sure if I'd call them friends, more acquaintances I've recently made, but Gaara's doing… something with Sakura." Chouji actually blushed slightly as he almost buried his face in his chips. "Considering how well Gaara gets along with Naruto, I'm not sure that it's actually training." Tapping his lower lip, Chouji paused a moment. "I THINK that's everyone…"

"Ah, right…" Chouza nodded, blinking slightly as his mind was caught up in a slight daze. "Well, what about we do a bit of father and son training?"

"Sure, might as well." Chouji agreed, before he glared darkly at his father. "Just lay off my chips!"

"Ah heh…" Chouza rapidly snatched his hand back from where it'd been inching towards his son's bag and did his best to look innocently. "Right."

Else where, Kankuro wondered exactly why it was he again felt like he'd been completely ignored.

-o-o-o-

"Again." Hiashi spoke in a quiet voice as he watched his daughter as she moved swiftly and surely against the dummies, hitting the small points on them with a light, tap and a spike of chakra.

With a slight twitch of annoyance, Hinata lightly glared at her father, before she moved through the dummies and making certain her hands hit a specific set of points not labeled on the dummies, causing Hiashi to wince slightly and lightly press his legs a bit closer together. "Hinata, I'm not doing this to punish you. You need to be able to hit the points rapidly and move to the next opponent as fast as you can."

"Hence, why I hit where I did." Hinata smiled sweetly at her father as she crossed her arms about her chest. "And, let this be a lesson to you, a cranky Hinata is not a nice person to be around."

"Cranky?" Hiashi blinked slightly in confusion as he stared back at his daughter.

"You sealed your room against the byakagan." Hinata responded with a glower as she crossed her arms about her chest. "Not to silence the noises from getting out.

Hiashi blinked a moment, then paled, visibly in between reddening brightly. "I… see."

"Next time you're gonna bang Kiba's mom, please do it at her place." The younger Hyuga offered with a grumble. "Should give Kiba a nice bit of mental trauma."

"… You're not upset about it?"

"What I'm upset about, is her being so damned loud that I couldn't sleep." The pale eyed girl shot back before she blushed brightly. "At least when I don't have Naruto-kun, Ino-chan or Kin-chan around to help distract me."

"I'll… keep that in mind, daughter."

"You do that." Hinata agreed with a smirk. "Just remember… please dear Kami use protection! I'm sure Tsume's a wonderful woman, but I do NOT want to end up related to Kiba!"

"Hmmm… Inuzuka traits with the byakagan…" Hiashi was stroking his chin in a decidedly disturbing fashion as Hinata glared back at him.

"Oooooh, don't you DARE!"

"Why, my dear daughter, I have NO idea what you could possibly mean!"

"… Fuck."

-o-o-o-

"You have developed… intriguing new friends." Shibi Aburame noted as he glanced down at where his son was spreading his beetles around with a growing precision and control.

"They're insane." Shino noted in a simple fashion, even as he struggled not to smirk. "But, entertaining, and powerful."

"Ah, any chance that…?"

"They're all taken." Shino paused, hanging his head with a sigh. "Every, single girl, all taken."

"Don't worry son, you'll find a girl soon enough."

"I hope so, I'm getting tired of being nagged about it." Shino agreed with a slight grumble.

"Ah, your hive?"

"Worse, Mom."

"… You're on your own there, kid."

"Coward."

"No, simply smart enough to know which battles to not engage in. Let me know how it turns out."

-o-o-o-

"… Why did you bring HIM here?" Haku grumbled softly and huffed as he crossed his arms about his chest, his black eyes sending daggers towards Kiba before turning to his boyfriend.

"Easy." Sasuke responded with a smile as he wrapped up Haku about the waist. "I know you hate training with me because you don't want to hurt me. So…"

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Haku's eyes lit up with realization as he grinned back over his shoulder. "You got me a training dummy!"

"Wait… Training dummy?!" Kiba's eyes bugged out as he stared at Haku in horror. "But… but…! I'm allergic to being punctured!"

"Mah, then really Kiba, why're you a shinobi?" A new voice offered up as Kakashi popped into existence behind him.

"You! … You're on time?" Kiba stared in absolute shock as he looked at an amused looking Kakashi.

"Why, I suppose I am." Kakashi agreed and frowned as he lightly tapped his lower lip. "If you'd prefer, I could come back later."

"NO!" Kiba responded quickly as he latched onto Kakashi. "Train us! They were going to make me a pin cushion!"

"Ah, I see." Kakashi nodded his head. "Well, Sasuke, we'll be working on your speed, pushing it as far as we can in the month we have… Haku, you've gotten a little rusty with your senbon skills, so you'll be going through target practice… Kiba…"

"Yeah?" Kiba put up hopefully, his eyes shining.

"You're going to be training your agility and reflexes!" Kakashi grinned back at the boy as he pulled out some weights and a new jacket. "Put these on!"

"Um… ok…" Kiba stared warily at his teacher before he pulled off his own coat and applied the weights and weighted jacket. "Man… these things are heavy!"

As Akamaru bounded quickly over to behind Haku, Kakashi nodded his head happily. "Yes, they're supposed to be. After a good bit of training, once you've taken them off, you'll be faster and stronger!"

"All right! What do I need to do next?" Kiba asked enthusiastically.

"Oh, just avoid becoming Haku's pin cushion." Kakashi responded happily. "Haku? Have fun and don't hurt him too badly. He's got to last all month after all!"

"Of course Kakashi-sensei." Haku responded sweetly before smiling down at Akamaru. "You might not want to watch this Akamaru, it won't be pretty."

As the puppy put his paws over his eyes, Kiba's own grew to the size of saucers as he gave off a slight whimper. "Oh… shit."

"You might want to start running." Haku responded cheerfully as he pulled out a fist full of senbon."

"SHIT!"

"It's all about the proper motivation." Kakashi told Sasuke with a happy smile on his face.

"… You're evil Kakashi-sensei." The Uchiha responded simply.

"Well, I could've made him wear a green suit and orange legwarmers."

"But, fortunately only diet evil." Sasuke responded quickly. "Low calorie, not evil enough."

"Awww… Now I'm gonna have to try even harder!"

"… To quote Kiba: 'Shit.'"

-o-o-o-

"So, I understand you're having some troubles with Shukaku?" Jiraiya was rather solemn as he looked down at the blank faced red head that was staring back at him with arms guardedly across his chest.

Glancing over at his pink haired companion, Gaara canted his head slightly. "Sakura-chan, are you sure I can't hurt him?"

"Yes, Gaara-kun, we've talked about this." Sakura sighed slightly as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Despite being a complete and utterly irredeemable pervert…"

She pause, waiting for the expected protest or addendum from Jiraiya, only to stare in shock as the man merely continued to stand there with that serious expression on his face as she continued. "He is still one of Konoha's top shinobi."

"And it's only remaining Seal Master." Jiraiya responded quietly as he gave the boy a quiet, knowing look. "Which means, I want to take a look at your seal and see if there's anything I can do to help you with the tanuki."

"… Based on my experiences and understanding, you're acting very out of character." Gaara noted before he locked those unreadable jade eye onto Jiraiya's gaze. "Why?"

"Because I've got a lot to make up to Naruto." Jiraiya responded softly and he shook his head tiredly as he shrugged just a bit. "And since he wants nothing to do with me, or what I know right now, I'm trying to help his friends where I can."

"How long until run off to do your 'research?'" Gaara demanded flatly as he continued to glare at the man.

"Not until I know I could meet Naruto's father's eyes." Jiraiya intoned quietly before sighing a bit. "It's your choice kid… though, you'd probably have to pay for it… Pushing Shukaku further down, would mean you'd have to take control of your sands yourself. Which means you'd have to train yourself back up."

"If you can do anything at all." Gaara noted quietly as he studied the man, before turning his head and glancing to where Sakura bit down on her lower lip. "What do you think I should do?"

"I think… I don't know enough to give any opinion at all, Gaara-kun." Sakura admitted quietly and sighed as she looked at the boy. "It's all about what you want."

"… Fine." Gaara nodded his head quietly then unslung his gourd and began to remove his shirt. "Let's find out what my options are before we do anything else."

"All right, kid." Jiraiya nodded his head quietly and then crouched down as the seal was revealed to carefully begin his work.

-o-o-o-

"Are you ready, minion?" Naruto glanced over his shoulder and smirked towards a bemused looking Kin.

"Of course, my Master." The girl responded in an oh so sweet tone as she casually thumbed through her notebook. "Now, at 1:00 we have your lunch with Ino-chan and Hinata-chan…."

"Can it…"

"They specifically requested barbeque." Kin hastily cut in as she grinned back at the lightly pouting boy. "Now, after that, you have a 3:00 with the ANBU, until 5:30. That gives you enough time to begin testing the security patrols at 6:00. After that, you have dinner, followed by Kin Time."

"Kin Time?" Naruto's lips were quirked up in amusement.

"Well…" Kin blushed brightly as she fidgeted just a bit in place. "I might as well have SOME benefits to plotting out your schedule."

"Right." Naruto nodded his head then chuckled just a bit as he stretched out. "Mmm got what we need?"

"Yes Sir!" Kin nodded eagerly. "And with the information we got from Baki on the attack plans he copied before sending off to Sand…"

"Yessss… Then come, my cute little minion! We have traps to set!"

"Yes, Master!"


	21. Chapter 21

Bondage Style

Chapter 21

Author's Notes: Ugh, this story is dragging on too bloody long. I lost inspiration on it a while back honestly, however, I refused to stop and kept writing it anyway, mainly because I intended to finish it no matter what. And, I will. Honestly, this is the problem one gets with writing a story on a silly premise like BS, you get to a point where you just... go bleh. It's amusing for a shorter story, but not for the lengths to which I've taken it.

I've got a few more amusing scenes to write, some of which were already written before I wrote this chapter, and some ideas that I wanted to see through. Once I get through those... I'm gonna end it.

Plus, of late, I'm getting more and more annoyed at the direction Kishimoto seems intent on taking the series. I'll probably end up focusing on... something, I'm just not sure what. I need to get an idea I fully develop and plot out. Otherwise they're only worthy of fragments.

We'll see what happens. And hopefully I'll be able to plot out BNTT far better than BS was.

-o-o-o-

"Ah, welcome to Konoha, I trust your trip was pleasant enough?" The Hokage's face bore a pleasant, inviting smile on his lips as he settled casually into his chair as he glanced over to the figure of the Kazekage.

"There weren't any real difficulties." The man responded vaguely as he settled in to the booth with the Hokage and nodded his head slightly beneath his veil.

"Good to hear. I trust you're looking forward to the matches?" Sarutobi smiled simply before shaking his head. "Though, it is a shame that only one of your children made it this far."

"Yes, I was rather… disappointed with them." The Kazekage's voice was mildly subdued as he spoke while glancing out over the arena. "Hmm… I was expecting more security involved than I saw coming in."

"Mmm? Oh, sadly a prankster decided to spike my ANBU's breakfast this morning." The Hokage looked more than slightly embarrassed. "Most of them have been unable to get too far away from a bathroom."

"Ah, I imagine that is most… unpleasant." The Kazekage agreed even as he smirked darkly behind his veil.

"Yes, quite." The Hokage agreed sourly with a sigh. "Oh, I hope you don't mind, we moved your son's match to last."

"Not at all, though, I do hope I the chance to see how he fairs against the vaulted Uchiha."

"Ah, you shouldn't underestimate Naruto." The Hokage noted with a slight smile. "He's far, far more devious than he appears."

"If you say so."

"Ah, looks like the first match is about to begin. Should be interesting, a Yamanaka vs. a Nara, childhood friends in fact."

"Interesting."

-Down in the Arena-

Genma Shiranui shook his head with a sigh as he lightly shifted the senbon around in his mouth as he glanced between the two genin casually walking into the arena. Each of them was carrying a scroll in hand, with the Nara actually appearing to… smile of all things, while the Yamanaka had a mischievous glint to her eyes. A glint that was far, far too much like another blonde's for his personal comfort.

"… Do I want to know what you two have planned?" The specialist asked curiously as he glanced between them.

"Mah, don't worry, it won't be… too troublesome." Shikamaru assured the man as he took his position in front of the blonde girl.

"Why, Mr. Examiner, don't you TRUST us?" Ino added smiling ever so sweetly back at the man.

"… I refuse to answer that on grounds that you might sic your teammate on me." Genma responded with a dry chuckle before he glanced between the two. "Ready?"

When both genin nodded their heads, Genma raised his hand up before suddenly dropping it sharply. "Match one… Begin!"

And with that the pair were suddenly running at one another, scrolls fluttering out as they each drew a line of blood across the items even as they suddenly disappeared behind a veil of smoke. For a moment, the crowd waited, with breathless anticipation save for a group of genin who snickered softly amongst them selves. When the smoke finally cleared, it revealed… Both contestants, sitting calmly at a table across from one another with a board game laid out in front of them.

Unable to help himself, Genma allowed a slight smirk to quirk onto his lips as he noted. "Snakes and Ladders?"

"Mhm… It'd have been too troublesome to actually fight." Shikamaru responded as he took the dice in hand, and then dropped them onto the table with a subtle and slight pulse of chakra to guide them to the result he desired.

A pulse that was quickly countered by Ino who smirked back at the boy. "Nice try, Shika, but it's going to take more than that to get by this time!"

"We'll see about that Ino, we'll see about that."

Back at the Kage booth, the Kazekage was twitching slightly as the name of the game the two were playing reached them. "They're… settling a match with a child's board game?"

"Ah, quite ingenious I must say." The Hokage noted with a smile. "They're subtly using their chakra to manipulate the outcome of the dice throws, playing it back and forth with a minimal use of their energies to see who can keep the most control of the outcome."

"Still…" Beneath his disguise, Orochimaru could feel a momentary pulse of worry as he considered the possibility that his plan had been discovered. A possibility he quickly discarded and sighed as he went back to watching the match. It was at least mildly interesting watching the pair try to out maneuver each other with their manipulation of the dice.

"I think they chose the perfect kind of game for this as well." Sarutobi continued on, smiling softly. "And they should finish their match with plenty of energy left to continue to show a good performance in the next round, no matter who wins."

"True, but I imagine that the civilians aren't finding this as interesting."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll get plenty of action soon enough." The Hokage agreed with a serene smile on his lips.

"Of course." The man agreed as he lightly glanced towards the tournament brackets. "I noticed you moved Gaara's match to last?"

"Yes, well I wanted to make sure that the field was in proper shape for the rest of the matches." Sarutobi explained with a casual smile. "Naruto tends to be… Exuberant."

"Exuberant?" Orochimaru's disguised voice spoke up, curiosity dripping as he again glanced down at the field. "An interesting way of describing him."

"You'll understand soon enough I'm sure." Sarutobi responded serenely as he settled back into his chair and smiled softly as he watched Ino crow victoriously as she shot ahead of Shikamaru on a ladder.

"Of course, of course."

-o-o-o-

Their faces bound in concentration, the pair worked hard as they battled back and forth. Eyes flashed with determination, or at least mild interest in the case of the Nara as they tested themselves against one another. Finally, at last, a sigh was made as after the fifth time he'd slid down a snake, Shikamaru glanced over at Ino. "You're just going to keep doing that, aren't you?"

"Why, Shika, I' sure I have NO idea what you're talking about!" Ino responded with an innocent flutter of her eyes even as she whistled innocently back at him.

"So troublesome." The boy responded with a grunt as he surveyed the board in front of him. "How much longer we need to keep this up?"

"Idiot! You're one of the ones who made up this plan to begin with! How can you not know?"

"Meh, it's too troublesome to pay attention to the time." The boy countered with a sigh even as he shook his head before glancing over at Genma. "Oi, proctor! How long's it been?"

"Hmm?" The man looked up from where he'd been reading a familiar book before glancing at his watch. "Oh, about… 15 minutes or so?"

"Ah, I guess it's been long enough." Glancing back down at the board, critically Shikamaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, the odds that you'd allow me to catch back up are pretty low."

"Non-existentantly so." Ino agreed with a sage nod of her head. "And we've already proven I'm better at manipulating the dice."

"True, you're far, far better at manipulation than me." Shikamaru agreed with a serene nod of his head.

"Thank… HEY!" Ino glared back at the boy with a soft grumble on her lips.

"Just pointing out the truth." Shikamaru responded with a slight little smirk on his lips. "You know how troublesome you are.

"Naruto-kun doesn't complain." Ino countered as she tossed her dice, before twitching slightly as her friend's pulses out maneuvered her own, sending her down a short snake. "Shika…"

"Why would he complain? He's more troublesome than you and Hinata put together." The boy responded with a smirk, before he rolled his dice and winced slightly as he found himself falling down another snake.

"Oh, I am sooo going to get you for that one." Ino growled softly as she narrowed her eyes at the boy, teeth clenched slightly as she snatched the dice from the table, her eyes burning with focus as she glared at the suddenly paling Nara. "Prepare yourself, Shikamaru!"

"Troublesome, damned troublesome." The Nara grumbled slightly before slumping in resignation.

What would follow, would go down in the annuals of ninja board games as one of the most abject, and vicious defeats in the recorded history of the sport. As the game continued, the Nara had been forced down, his shoulders slumping further and further until, as his opponent finally reached her triumphant destination, his piece still remained, waiting on the starting square. Fortunately, no one really cared about ninja board games, so after the Exams were over, save for an occasional bit of ribbing from his friends, Shikamaru was able to put it firmly behind him.

From there booth, both men in Kage robes stared at the finale, as Sarutobi let off a rueful chuckle. "It would seem Shikamaru choose to invoke the wrath of Ino."

"She certainly seemed to take a great deal… of relish in her actions and victory," the false Kazekage noted with a bemused voice.

"Her wrath is apparently widely feared among her male classmates, save one." Sarutobi noted with a sage nod of his head as he took a slight puff from his pipe.

"The Uchiha?" Orochimaru offered, struggling to keep the hope out of his voice.

"Hardly." The older man seemed amused by that as he took another puff from his pipe. "No, her teammate, the one facing your son, he already defeated your daughter in the preliminaries."

"I'm afraid he'll find Gaara to be much more of a… challenge."

"Perhaps," The Hokage agreed with a smile, before a knowing twinkle flashed across his eyes. "Or, perhaps, he'll surprise you."

-Rock Lee Vs. Hinata Hyuga-

"Yosh! I have been looking forward to this!" Lee grinned broadly, his eyes aflame as he pumped his fist firmly in the air. "Are you prepared for a most enjoyable match, Hinata?!"

"What, no screams of youth, Lee?" Hinata smiled back at the boy, her eyes twinkling softly as she casually settled into place in front of the boy.

"Ah, no." The boy shifted uncomfortably as his eyes briefly flickered over to where a certain blonde kunoich was smirking back at him as she leaned against her fan. "Temari-chan is most insistent about that."

"Oh?" Hinata grinned at the boy a moment, before her eyes followed his, and she sent the blonde girl a grin that had her rapidly paling. "I'll have to give you a few little… bits of advice later."

"A-a-advice?" Lee blushed suddenly as he stuttered out his responses, his eyes wide, trembling.

"Mhm… Temari-chan does have some very… very sensitive places, just begging to be exploited." The girl offered up her words with a serene little smile blossoming across her lips. "I mean… brought to your attention of course."

"I, ah, um, er… yes, I can just, um, imagine!" Lee flustered brightly under Hinata's teasing, his eyes wide, trembling as he stared back at her, shuddering just a bit as he attempted to not react quite so much.

"Shall we then?" Hinata grinned happily back at the boy, even as she settled down, kneeling patiently in front of a dusty patch of earth as she held up a simple cloth pouch.

"Yes! As I said, let us have a most enjoyable match!" The boy agreed readily as he dropped down and quickly seated himself as the girl opened up the pouch and let the shining bits of metal fall down from it, along with a single, red rubber ball.

"Jacks?" Genma observed with an amused smirk on his lips.

"Well, caltrops actually." Hinata responded, pointing out the gleaming points on each of the metallic objects. "And, we're going to play things a little bit more… interesting."

"Yosh! Hinata is most correct! The ball is bounced then we collect them!" Lee agreed happily.

"While trying to prevent the other from collecting them themselves, and defending what we've managed to snag." Hinata agreed with a slight smile on her lips.

"And whoever has the most when the ball finally hits the ground again, wins!" Lee nodded quickly with a grin.

"That seems kinda… short." Genma noted as he lightly shifted the senbon in his mouth.

"Ah, but we can keep the ball in the air, as long as it doesn't touch the ground." Hinata countered with a smile.

"Could be interesting." Genma allowed while he stepped back. "Whenever you two are ready."

Back in the Kage booth, Orochimaru stared again at the scene in front of him before turning his head to Sarutobi. "Again, a child's game?"

"Well, they are both taijutsu specialists." The Hokage noted with an innocent expression on his face. "I actually find it a bit refreshing that they've managed to defy everyone's expectations of settling things via combat."

"… Ah, right." The disguised sannin in exile responded non-committedly as he struggled not to break into an annoyed twitch.

"And they've started." The Hokage noted as he focused his attention out onto the field as the flash of crimson rubber rose towards the sky as two pairs of hands began to blur.

Sparks of chakra erupted blasting a caltrop out of the way just as Lee's fingers would reach forward it, all while Hinata was making a grab for one of her own. Only, Lee's hands seemed to move even faster, blocking her attempt with a sudden speed while snatching towards the flung caltrop. Again, a spark of chakra could be seen, as Hinata struggled to compensate for her lesser speed with bursts of chakra even as the ball descended back towards the earth.

Another, sudden spike of chakra sent the rubber item flying back up into the air once more as Hinata would flick a caltrop into the air snaking it back towards her side as she released it. It flew through the air for a moment, and even as her eyes widened in realization as she recognized Lee's hand blurring after it. In an instant, he hand it, snatched before it could touch the earth and pulled back to his side as he shot her a happy grin.

Gritting her teeth in determination, the Hyuga girl moved her hands faster and faster, using her chakra to enhance her speed to try and keep up. But, it was not to be. No matter how fast she went, the eager boy just seemed to be moving faster, no matter how she manipulated things with her chakra, he seemed to compensate and adapt to.

Finally, just as she was about to use another spike of chakra to send the ball rising for whatever time it was, Lee's hand shot out, and slapped the ball down onto the ground, ending the match then and there.

Huffing slightly in annoyance, Hinata crossed her arms about her chest as she glanced from the small pile of caltrops she'd managed to gather, to the much larger pile Lee had amassed for himself. "Well, looks like you won then, Lee."

"Yosh, it was a most fun match, Hinata!" Lee nodded happily back at her. "Your use of chakra to try and deflect my attempts was most impressiv!"

"Right." Hinata agreed with a slight nod of her head, even as she sighed slightly and slumped just a bit. "Congratulations, Lee."

"Thank you, Hinata-san!" Lee grinned happily back at her before he almost seemed to bounce his way back to the stands where a smirking Temari offered him a light peck on the cheek, sending the boy into an almost delirious grin.

As Hinata herself walked back to the stands, she found her teammates looking back at her with unreadable expressions on their faces. Feeling a nervous trickle of sweat dripping down the back of her neck, the pale eyed girl felt a momentary flash the almost crippling shyness she'd had only a short time ago. "Um... Sorry?"

"What do you think, Ino-chan?" Naruto spoke up in a carefully neutral tone as his guarded, crystalline eyes flicked towards his fellow blonde.

"Well, Naruto-kun, I have to say I'm rather disappointed," Ino responded with a grave nod of her head as she firmly crossed her arms about her chest. "To have our little puppy lose her match like that?"

"Indeed, Ino-chan." Naruto agreed with a casually sage nod of his head while he turned his head back towards Hinata. "I'm afraid this can't go unpunished."

"... Punished?" Hinata blinked slightly as her eyes widened owlishly. "But... but..."

"Yes, definitely punished." Ino cut her teammate off as she mimicked Naruto's nod of his head. "We simply can't have this sort of thing perpetuating itself."

"Perpetuating itself?" Naruto paused a moment, arching a brow as he glanced back at Ino, a slight smirk breaking onto his face. "Isn't that a bit of a big word for you, Ino-chan?"

"Hey! No blonde jokes from the guy who looks like he should be a sunflower." Ino countered with a huff as she crossed her arms firmly about her chest and glared back at her male teammate.

"Well, people have said I have a sunny disposition." Naruto agreed with a casual wave of his hand. "Oh, hey, look! There's Spanky and Shino!"

"Oh, is it that time already? Huh, Kakashi was actually on time?" Ino blinked in shock as she turned her head questioningly towards Naruto. "Did you...?"

"I might've implied something vaguely resembling a threat of forcing him the deviancy of Gai upon him no matter where he went." Naruto admitted with a neutral shrug of his shoulders. "I can neither confirm nor deny this however."

"Of course." Ino agreed with a nod of her head as she settled in and studied the pair as they walked out to the arena center, each carrying a chair and one half of the same table Ino and Shikamaru had made use of earlier. "Admitting it would just take the fun out of things."

"Um... So, erm... what was that about... p-punishment?" Hinata spoke up, nervously eying her teammates as they so easily left her hanging.

"Oh, right, that." Naruto nodded lightly, before swiftly smacking her once on her rear. "Bad Hinata-chan, bad. Don't do it again." That said, he turned his head back to the arena as Shino pulled out a deck of cards.

"...That's it?" There was a tremor of disappointment in her voice as Hinata flicked her gaze from Naruto to Ino as she pouted slightly.

"... You want us to punish you, here and now, in public?" Ino spoke up, arching a delicate brow upwards. "I think Spanky would be a bit upset with us for taking attention away from his match." She paused a moment, before grinning devilishly at her Hyuga teammate. "But, very, very kinky, Hinata-chan."

"She's that kinda girl." Naruto agreed with his fellow blonde as he nodded sagely. "Now, we have a match to watch!"

-o-o-o-

"... Are ALL of your genin going to subject us to children's games, Hokage-dono?" The disguised snake sannin asked through gritted teeth as he lightly flicked his disguised eyes back towards the serenely smiling man next to him. "I had thought... more of Konoha's nin."

"I think perhaps other nations have been a bit too... quick to focus on more obvious training exercises, my friend." The older man casually settled back into his chair, watching the way Aburame and Uchiha stared blankly at one another. "I find it quite... refreshing, to be honest. Each of them has already proven their combat abilities in the preliminaries. Now, they simply choose to prove their mental abilities."

"They seem more intent upon trying my patience." The figure of the 'Kazekage' responded with a slight hissing grumble as he none the less settled back into his seat.

'That too.' The Hokage agreed mentally as he allowed his serene smile to grow slightly on his lips while he carefully settled back. "I think they merely wished to reveal their mental flexibility, as well as their ability to use their skills creatively in a non-combat environment. We do take on more diplomatic missions as well as the combat ones after all."

"True, I suppose." The man grudgingly admitted, but still, Orichimaru had been hoping to see at least some amusing displays of combat abilities before he dropped his charade and the invasion began. The games the children were playing, might even have been enjoyable, if he himself was competing against a worthy foe of course.

"I have to admit, I'm most impressed so far. They've shown that a number of them are quite ready, at least mentally, to become chunin." Sarutobi responded, his voice almost happy as he settled back into his seat and steepled his fingers. "It will be a most interesting exam."

"Of that, I'm sure." The disguised snake sannin agreed, smirking beneath his veil.

-o-o-o-

"… Do you have any... Threes?" The stone faced Shino queried as he stared blankly back at his teammate across the table.

For a moment, Sasuke merely stared, blankly back at the boy, his face as equally blank as he took a moment, glancing down at his hand before speaking again. "Go Fish."

Nodding in acceptance Shino reached out, and carefully drew a card, placing it into his hand before nodding sagely as he carefully laid out a full book of threes, suppressing a smirk as he watched the Uchiha just barely, barely twitch. "It would seem that fortune smile on me today."

"Indeed." Sasuke responded, almost tonelessly, before, suddenly smiling, almost viciously back at his teammate. "Have any… queens?" That last word practically dripped with implication as he smiled back at Shino with a look of sweet, absolutely 100% false innocence as he continued before Shino could answer. "I know Naruto has some, same with Gaara, Shikamaru… even Lee! Do you?"

"…No… I do not." His words were bitten out as a rising buzz began to fill their ears as Shino's bugs echoed his irritation while Sasuke took a moment to savor the slight twitch on his teammate's brow. "Please, Go Fish… Preferably in Snow Country on thin ice."

"Now Shino!" Sasuke quietly admonished, shaking his head quickly as he looked almost aghast back at his Aburame teammate while he drew a card. "Don't you know? That's terrible karma!" Glancing at the card, he smiled innocently back at Shino as he twirled it around. "See? Absolutely terrible!"

The buzzing of Shino's insects rose even higher, almost becoming a roar to their ears as he would carefully bring his finger up, pressing his dark glasses further up his nose before he spoke. "I am most curious as to how you cheated."

"Cheated? Me?" Sasuke continued to smile innocently back at Shino before he turned his attention over to an amused looking Genma. "Did you see me cheat, Mr. Proctor?"

"Nope, can't say that I did." Genma responded honestly as he casually continued to chew on his needle. "Of course, it could have been that you just saw what the next card was when he pulled out his three like I did and decided to capitalize on it."

Pausing a moment, Sasuke lightly tapped his lower lip. "That would have been the smart thing to do, wouldn't it."

Shino only twitched even more.

"It is your turn you know, Shino." Sasuke offered to the stoic boy across from him, before he again let his face slide into that stony mask.

"Thank you… for reminding me, Sasuke." Shino pushed his glasses up once more as he started to shift slightly, his hands slipping further into his pockets.

"Oh, Shino?" Sasuke spoke up again, seemingly just remembering something. "If you try to get one of your bugs on me to cheat…." The boy smiled, almost serenely as he held up his fingers in a slight V and a spark of electricity shot between them. "I'd hate to find out what a lightning attack would do to your bugs."

"..." Shino stared back at Sasuke for a moment, before shifting as he scanned the crowds for a moment, before his eyes locked onto a suddenly nervous looking Kakashi before he simply... stared at his instructor.

-o-o-o-

"Kakashi-san... Why is my son glaring at you like that?" Shibi Aburame turned his stoic attention over to the silver haired man standing next to him.

"Err... Could be any number of different things?" Kakashi paused a moment, scratching the back of his head as he glanced down at his hand. "Because I'm reading one of Naruto's books during his match?"

"No... That isn't his 'my sensei is such a pervert, I want to sick my hive on his porn stash until there's not even a shred left' look." Shibi corrected him quietly as he continued to watch his son glare at the man.

"Hmm... because I almost made Sasuke late for his match, and appeared last minute just before he could be disqualified, there by both annoying him by making him stand there, waiting and waiting, and crushing his hopes of an easy victory based on my laziness?" Kakashi tried next as he would flip to the next page of his book, before offering up his eyes widened in appreciation as he stared at the text in front of him.

"Nor is it his: 'oh, how I wish my father would allow me to place a tracking beetle on my sensei so I could find him so myself and my swarm can ensure his timely arrival in the most unpleasant manner we can devise' look." Shibi corrected again in that same almost monotone voice, before peering closer at Kakashi's book. "The Kimiko scene?"

"The Kimiko scene." Kakashi agreed with a sage nod of his head before tilting his head slightly to the side in thoughtful consideration. "Mmm, because I was giving Sasuke some specialized training while Kiba was being used as Sasuke's boyfriend's walking and dodging pincushion?"

"... You taught him your Bug Zapper Technique, didn't you." A touch of accusation flared through the otherwise monotone voice before Kakashi blinked slightly at the man.

"Chidori is NOT a Bug Zapper Technique!" A slight huff of indignation left Kakashi's mask before he flipped another page of the book and continued. "Raikiri is."

"... There are days where I question why you were ever allowed to become an instructor." Shibi sighed slightly and shook his head. "Teaching one of the loudest 'assassination' techniques known to Konoha to a genin?"

"Well, it's more the fact that I'm good enough TO teach it to a genin." Kakashi countered back with a cheerful eye smile directed to the man, before he glanced back at the book as he offered one last thought for the man to consider. "Would you have rather he have been given to Gai?"

"... Point." Shibi reluctantly agreed.

-o-o-o-

"So, at last 'Bug Zapper Kakashi' reveals his true nature." Shino adjusted his glasses on his nose as he would stare back across the table at his opponent.

"... 'Bug Zapper Kakashi'?" Sasuke repeated, blinking for a moment before he turned his attention questioningly over to Genma.

"Third Shinobi war." Genma answered with a shrug and a chuckle. "He made use of his Raikiri against this one Iwa clan that used bees. Fried enough of em for the Aburame to finish them off."

"Still... 'Bug Zapper?'" Sasuke repeated as he couldn't help but twitch a bit.

"The Aburame are the only ones that call him that." Genma admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Ever since the week after the event, Konoha's counselors have absolutely refused to have anything to do with either the Aburame or Kakashi."

"Know this, oh student of the 'Bug Zapper..." Shino declared, ignoring the side conversation between Sasuke and the proctor. "The Aburame clan shall never forget what your teach has done! Our eyes will be upon you and all like you!"

"... You remember that you're his student too, right, Shino?" Sasuke was staring at his suddenly animated teammate, the light glinting dangerously off the rim of his suddenly oh so shiny glasses.

The teen immediately paused, before slumping in realization as he collapsed backwards into his chair. "... I forgot about that."

"It happens." Sasuke shrugged just a bit before leaning back, glancing at his cards a moment before smiling back at Shino. "So, got any 7s?"

"Yes, I... Wait, it is still MY turn!" Shino glared at his teammate again a bit harder this time as the tick over his eye returned, twitching almost violently. "Do YOU have any 7s?"

"Go Fish." Sasuke responded back with a triumphant smirk. "I knew that, why I asked you for something I didn't have."

"Technically, not breaking any rules." Genma noted as he couldn't help but chuckle just a bit.

"... Sasuke-san... you do recall, that even if you're promoted to chunin and I am not, we WILL remain on the same team, yes?" Shino's glasses glinted once more as the boy gave a slow, thoughtful nod of his head. "And, therefore, you do recall that means that you will be sent on long missions, with just the rest of your team along to accompany you, yes? A team, which will still consist of myself, and a certain teammate who shall remain nameless, that I can bribe quite easily by keeping away the fleas without him having to take his regular flea baths, yes?"

"You fiend! Leave Akamaru out of this!" Sasuke responded, loudly as his voice carried back to the stands. "Trying to turn him against me with your promises of a flea bath free future!"

"... You have obviously been spending far, far too much time around Uzumaki." Shino paused a moment, before speaking up, almost as loudly. "Actually, I was referring to Kiba."

"Oh, damn, I forgot about him." Sasuke paused a moment, slumping down as he fought down the twitch of his lips that threatened to blossom into a smirk. "So long as you're not trying to turn Akamaru on me, Haku likes the mutt for some reason. Kiba I can deal with."

"Yes, but can you deal with Kiba's antics, while various things somehow... develop mysterious holes? Like, say those shorts you're so fond of?" Shino offered, his glasses now glinting in a far more sinister light.

Back in the stands, Kankuro lightly patted a practically frothing at the mouth Kiba as he struggled against his urge to run out into the arena and wreck his vengeance on his teammates.

"Hmph... I could always defect to Suna and leave Kankuro here to take my place." Sasuke shot back, crossing his arms smugly about his chest.

"Well, he might be an improvement." Shino countered. "At least his dolls could be put to use... my hive would enjoy their high fiber content."

"Are you sure you want to be associated with a guy who steals his own sister's panties?" Sasuke countered with a smirk. "Remember Lee's match?"

"Ah, true." Shino agreed with a sage nod of his head. "A most perverse tactic. Utterly reprehensible." He paused a moment, before continuing in a quiet voice that only Sasuke and Genma could here. "Though, quite effective. If his sister hadn't spoken up..."

Sasuke shrugged a bit and smirked slightly. "If you say so. I never really got the whole girl in lingere thing. Got any Jacks?"

"... You're gay, of course you wouldn't." Shino responded flatly. "

Temari sighed as she firmly held onto the collars of both her brother and Kiba as they both tried to lunge towards the arena floor.

-o-o-o-

"... You know, I'm starting to wonder if we shouldn't have isolated your team from the rest of our genin." Asuma noted with a dry chuckle as he took a slow drag from his cigarette and smirked over at Anko and Kurenai. "Their influence is getting quite noticeable."

"I think it's rather refreshing." Anko grinned toothily as she wrapped her arm about Kurenai's shoulder and held her close as Shino and Sasuke battled back and forth with their words and their wits. "All the irreverent smart-arsery makes me smile so much more!"

"I think that was one of the reasons most of the chunin started that petition." Kakashi's voice spoke up as he continued to read through his little book. "You in such a good mood makes them nervous."

"Why, Kakashi... I can't imagine why my dear, sweet, innocent Anko-chan being in a good mood would be..." Kurenai's voice was prim, almost scandalized as she glared back at the silver haired jonin before finally bursting into a series of giggles as she almost collapsed back against her partner. "Sorry, I couldn't finish that with a straight face."

"You got farther than I could've." Asuma responded with a chuckle while Baki shook his head from where he sat next to his fellow wind user.

"As the time draws closer and closer, I can't help but continue to wonder if I made the right choice." The jonin from Suna mused aloud, as he glanced for a moment around at his peers. "Such madness, insanity and snarkiness..." He paused a moment, tapping his chin in consideration before shrugging a bit. "Then I try to remember ever being this entertained, or seeing my students grow like they have been this last month... Before I glance around, see the book Kakashi is reading and I'm everything else fades away, and I remember, I do this for my Sweet Silky Nights."

"Well, as long as you're doing it for your porn." Anko agreed with a smirk as she casually snuggled even more up against Kurenai. "Everything ready?"

"Mhm." Asuma nodded casually with an innocent smile on his lips. "I kinda pity them you know."

"Oh?" Kakashi blinked slightly as he turned his attention onto Asuma and arched a brow. "Why?"

"Yugao got Naruto to help plan some of the traps."

"And, suddenly, any doubts I had vanish with the wind, and I am content to be on the other end of Naruto-sama's devious mind." Baki stated solemnly before he half glanced towards where an ANBU masked figure was settling into place at the top of the stadium. "Mmm... Kakashi-san, did you want any help with your assignment?"

"Eh, why not?" The last student of the Fourth Hokage offered the man a smile. "All the better to make sure he doesn't get away."

-o-o-o-

"So, you ready for this?" Naruto asked without quite looking at the red head sitting next to him with arms crossed about the chest.

"... Most likely." Gaara's voice was flat as he looked out towards where Shino and Sasuke were on their final rounds cards flashing back and forth between them. "It is still... the way I summon my sand now..."

"Eh, I'm sure you'll get used to it." Naruto responded with a shrug, before smirking a bit. "You seemed to have learned how to handle a girlfriend quickly enough."

Gaara blushed slightly at his friend's words though he struggled to ignore it as resisted the urge to glance over at Sakura. "Indeed... I simply hope my... act will be believable enough."

"Just imagine the looks on the faces of all those Suna nin that have been conditioned to fear the very sight of you for years, when they realize that suddenly, you're not on their side." Naruto offered with a sadistically innocent smile.

"That does help." Gaara agreed, before pausing a moment as he glanced back towards Naruto. "I had been worried about how my brother was going to take to this plan."

"... Haven't seen him with Tenten and Shikamaru, have you?" Naruto responded evenly enough before shuddering just a bit. "If Tenten wasn't more interested in Shikamaru..."

"I heard their laughter." Gaara actually shuddered a bit as he stared out resolutely at the arena, refusing to flinch. "And I pity my former comrades..." He paused a moment, canting his head slightly to the side. "Then, I'm reminded of how they treated me, and how they influenced my siblings to treat me, and I find that pity counter balanced by a sense of amusement and satisfaction."

"Plus, you have learned how amusing it is to mess with people's heads."

"I vaguely recall something along those lines." Gaara admitted airily as he lightly gestured, one arm leaving his chest for a moment before finding its way back.

"Of course, vaguely, right." The sarcasm was thick in the air as Naruto's lips twisted in amusement.

"Naruto?"

"Yes, Gaara?"

"I'll still have plenty of time to give you a sand wedgie once this is over with you know," The red head stated in his bland monotone.

"... You know the intimidation act doesn't work on me, right?" Naruto noted in an equally bland tone as he lightly examined his nails. "It, in fact, tends to inspire me to even greater heights of retribution."

"... Prank war once things settle down?" Gaara offered as he continued to stare out at the field.

"Hmmm... Pick teams after this is all over?" Naruto offered back as he continued to stare at the way things were coming down on the field.

"Since I know you'll demand your team and Kin as on your side by default, I claim my team and Sakura." Gaara watched Genma tally up the books as the match ended. "We take turns picking the rest from whoever's interested in joining in."

"Sounds like fun." Naruto agreed as he watched Sasuke being declared the winner while the Uchiha headed over to the arms of his boyfriend. "Looks like we're up."

"So it does..." Gaara agreed, before a sudden yelp was heard behind them as Sakura appeared wrapped in a tendril of sand and glaring angrily at her boyfriend.

"Dammit, Gaara!" Sakura growled at the red head even as she came to rest right in front of him, her feet never even touching the ground. "You can't just manhandle me whenever you want!"

"... Why not?" There was honest curiosity in those jade colored orbs as the he studied the girl in front of him, his head slightly tilting to the side once more. "Don't you want to give me a kiss for good luck?"

"... This is all your fault, you know." Sakura turned her head and glared accusingly at Naruto, who merely smiled innocently back at her.

"Who, me? Whatever could I have possibly done?" The look of pure amused innocence shown in Naruto's eyes as he smiled back at Sakura.

"You took a poor, sweet, innocent boy and corrupted him!" Sakura shot back, before a variety of different people froze and turned their heads to stare at the pink haired girl.

"... Sweet? ...Innocent? Gaara?" Kankuro spoke up as he stared at the girl in his brother's grip for a lingering moment, before turning his attention to Gaara himself. "I'm sorry, please don't kill me for this, but.... BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

"Heh... Innocent... right." Temari drawled as she chuckled a bit herself, looking at her little brother's girlfriend with a look of utter amusement on her face. "Girl... the only corruption Naruto's done is the good kind."

"Why can't I have been sweet and innocent?" Gaara was almost pouting back at his sister, ignoring the way his brother practically rolled on the floor in laughter, even as his sand snaked around and grabbed the back of his brother's pants and jerked up. "I'm plenty sweet and innocent."

As Kankuro let out a quiet shriek of pain and surprise, Temari simply gave her youngest brother a look. "You used to terrify grown nin, kill people who got on your bad side, cackled maniacally in battle, especially when you got to rain blood down on everyone."

"I was still sweet and innocent." Gaara insisted even as the rest of the group stared back at him. "I was just misunderstood."

"Of course, sweety." Sakura agreed as she leaned down and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Good Luck."

"No." Gaara paused a moment, before pulling Sakura back as he wrapped her surprised body up in his arms. "That is not a good luck kiss."

"Wha...?" Sakura could only blink in worried confusion, before Gaara suddenly swept her low, his lips inches above her own.

"THIS is a good luck kiss." And with that, his hand gently cradling the back of the girl's neck, a thumb, brushing softly against her flesh, she could feel his lips pressing onto hers, a soft, insistent motion that slowly grew in intensity as his eyes fell closed and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

For an instant, Sakura's eyes widened in shock, and she froze, her body grown stiff and unyielding, before just as quickly, her eyes fluttered closed and she melted back into his grip. Her arms slipped up, wrapping back against his shoulders, pressing her chest to his as her toes curled visibly in her sandals. Finally, after several long, heated moments, a cough interupted them as Genma popped up.

"You know you're enjoying yourself and what not, but we ARE waiting on you." The Proctor noted with a spark of amusement in his eyes.

Nodding in acknowledgment, Gaara set down the now dazed Sakura before striding towards the Arena floor.

Before Naruto moved to follow him, Ino grabbed hold of his sleeve and pouted at him. "Naruto-kun, how come you didn't kiss US that way for luck?"

"Because you'd have ended up like that?" The blonde boy offered up as he gestured towards the near catatonic Sakura, a hazy grin plastered on her face as she swooned back and forth in place. "I wanted you to actually at least put on a good show, not stand there, drooling like an idiot."

"Oh, I suppose that makes sense." Ino admitted before sighing slightly and grumbling as she crossed her arms about her chest.

"So glad you understand, Ino-chan." Naruto lightly patted her before he made his way onto the field after Gaara.

It took them only moments to get into place, each standing across from one another, their arms crossed about their chests in almost identical poses as the wind lightly wafted across their bodies, causing Naruto's long over coat to sway and billow slightly.

"Nice dramatic pose. The wind's a nice touch." Genma noted as he lightly glanced towards Naruto.

"Hey, what's the fun of being a wind nature if you can't use it?" The blonde boy countered out of the corner of his mouth, never breaking his pose, before at some unseen signal, he and Gaara both turned to the Proctor.

"Well, since it's only polite, I suppose the visitor will call?" Genma noted as he glanced towards the neutral looking Gaara, who gave a simple, terse nod.

-o-o-o-

"Ah, finally, some action!" The disguised Orochimaru stated, impatience getting the better of him as he subtly gave the signal for the attack to begin on his mark.

"Oh? Well, it should be interesting." The Hokage agreed as he lightly let his fingers slip down into his pocket to tap casually upon it's contents. "Most interesting indeed."

-o-o-o-

It was then that the proctor took out a coin and flipped it into the air as he glanced towards Gaara. "Call it."

"Tails." The red head stated simply as his eyes lazily traced the coin's path, until it landed back in the man's hand.

"Heads. Winner: Naruto Uzumaki!" The Proctor declared as he made note of the face on the coin. "Get ready for Round Two!"

"..." Gaara seemed to stare at the coin for a moment, before suddenly he let loose a furious scream as sand exploded in a maddened swirl around him, blasting the proctor and Naruto back as he was quickly enveloped in a cocoon of sand. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yeesh, some people are such sore losers." Genma deadpanned as he glanced over at a blinking Naruto.

Back in the Kage booth, Orochimaru practically fell on his face in shock as Gaara was declared the loser, due to a, a... coin toss of all things! So great was his shock, he never even noticed how his hands had accidentally slipped into the 'go' sign. All around him, things went into motion as a sudden cloud of feathers began to descend on the stands and figures quickly began to fall into a sudden sleep.

-o-o-o-

"Looks like it's show time." Kakashi noted as he briefly made a quick release,deflecting the genjutsu away from him while he continued to read through his book, just as Baki did next to him.

"Yup, so it is." The man agreed as the rest of the jounin instructors sprung into action.

"We should, you know, go and get to our assignment, ya know." Kakashi continued, still flipping through his book.

"Yes, we really should." Baki agreed as he flipped another page himself.

"If we don't, then something might happen to Naruto." Kakashi noted as instantly Baki froze and the former Suna nin's book vanished.

"Well, what're we waiting for then?! Let's go!" Baki practically grabbed Kakashi by his shoulder and made to drag him off towards the masked Kabuto.

"Yar, yar... don't be so impatient." Kakashi sighed slightly as he put his book away then allowed his face to immediately harden. "All right, lets go to work."

-o-o-o-

As the Kage box exploded in a cloud of smoke, Naruto looked around the field before glancing back at the quickly appearing Konoha Genin and the remainder of the sand siblings. "All right, everybody know their assignments?"

At the collection of nods and affirmatives, Naruto walked over and knocked on Gaara's cocoon. "Oi! Gaara! Show time!"

As the cocoon melted away to reveal Gaara holding a flash light and one of Naruto's books, the red head turned his head and glanced at his blonde friend. "Already? I was just getting to the good part."

"Yup, already, come on, we got some Sand nin's to scare off."

"Fine fine." Gaara sighed and gestured. "Let's get going then."

-o-o-o-

Sighing slightly as he glanced at the kunai held towards his throat Sarutobi couldn't help but shake his head just a bit. "Really, must you be so over dramatic?"

"Come now, Sarutobi-sensei, you must have realized what was going on by now..." The figure chuckled silkily back as he smiled at him from beneath his veil. "And now, here you are, behind this barrier, alone with me."

"Oh, I already knew it was you, Orochimaru-kun." The Hokage responded dismissively as he lightly waved his hand even as he casually reached into his pocket and pulled out a small toad. "The real Kazekage would have been far, far more impatient with the matches. Though, I do have to admit, Shikamaru and Ino's little dig did have such a delightful effect on you.... And you're wrong."

Orochimaru could feel a cold shiver worry snaking it's way down his spine, even as he couldn't help but ask, "Wrong, Sarutobi-sensei?"

"We're not alone." With that, the older man dropped the toad on the ground, and Orochimaru leaped back to avoid the swirling swipe of a Rasengan by barely over an inch as Jiraiya appeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Been a while, traitor." The cold shiver turned into a crashing waterfall as Orochimaru stared into the eyes of someone he hadn't seen since the end of the Third Shinobi War.

Jiraiya. Not the comical, Kabuki-esque Toad Hermit. Not the perverted writer of Icha Icha. Not the spymaster or the traveler. Not even the Jiraiya struggling desperately to try to reach out to the memory of his best friend so hard that he couldn't bring himself to truly fight the man that still wore his face. No, this was Jiraiya, the Veteran of two Shinobi Wars, feared almost as much his own, prized student.

A man, who if he was truly honest with himself, Orochimaru had held no small amount of fear of. It was so easy to forget he existed. To bury the memories under those of the clown, the joker, the fool. So easy to forget those cold, hard, merciless eyes that had stood and simply watched an entire division of Iwa shinobi vanish into a Swamp of the Underworld.

As he glanced around, Orochimaru came to a sudden, and simple realization. "You knew what I was planning."

"Oh, not everything." Sarutobi admitted cheerfully even as Jiraiya stared back at his former friend, Rasengan still swirling in his palm. "But, enough, that, along with what we knew about you, it wasn't too hard to guess." Pausing a moment, the old man lightly tapped his pipe out with a light chuckle. "The fact that the Kazekage's children and their instructor decided they liked it better in Konoha than Suna helped a great deal."

And with that, Orochimaru summed up the grand sum of his thoughts in one, single word: "Fuck."

Author's notes: Getting towards the end. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this head of steam as I keep going.


	22. Chapter 22

Bondage Style!

Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Naruto stuff belongs to Kishimoto

Author's notes: Upwards and onwards.

-o-o-o-

Genji had been a genin of Suna for a rather lengthy bit of time, over 15 years serving loyally and faithfully, through the good times and the bad. In that time, he'd also been one of the few to vocally protest the way their villagers, ninja, and Kazekage treated their jinchuuriki. It was a fairly large part of why he was still a genin, despite passing the chunin exams on multiple occasions with more than satisfactory recommendations. In Suna, speaking against your village leader was... frowned on to say the least.

His protests had little to do with the fact that said jinchuuriki was a poor, emotionally isolated boy who should have been taken better care of by his father. No, he simply thought it was plain common sense for a weapon to be raised as an emotionally balance and loyal ninja. There by, ensuring that they didn't have to fear someone else coming around, offering him a better life and him turning those oh so frightening demon spawned powers around onto them.

As he and his comrades reached Konoha's wall, he was treated to the sight that sent his stomach plummeting. Gaara, leaning ever so casually back against the wall, reading a small book next to a blonde haired boy in a black jacket and a Leaf nin forehead protector. As every instinct screamed at him to run, one of his cockier, chunin ranked comrades stepped forward and opened up his mouth.

"Oi, Gaara! What the hell are you doing here!? You're supposed to be..." The man began to speak, before suddenly having a gag of sand shoved into his mouth.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to read." Gaara glared back at the man, before the another tendril of sand snaked around, grabbed hold of the man's boxers, and used them to toss him towards the back of the group. "Some people, no manners."

"Well, that's how it is these days, especially when you're dealing with people of a more... limited intelligence." Naruto affirmed with a casual nod of his head as he would scribble in another note. "Though, I think they're waiting for you to explain yourself."

"So? Let em ask, or just keep waiting." Gaara shot back, his eyes never leaving the small book as he flipped it to another page.

"Well, I'm sure they do have some very valid questions." Naruto responded evenly as he would continue to scribble away in his notebook. "Among them, why you just utterly humiliated the idiot instead of killing him."

"You don't need me to answer that, do you?" Gaara finally tore his eyes away from the page, and shifted his gaze over to the boy next to him.

"Nah, I know why, but as for them? That's another issue entirely." Naruto paused a moment, as he noted amidst the sea of confusion, Genji's rapidly paling face. "Well, all but that guy. He seems to have a pretty good idea.

As one, the rest of the Suna nin turned their attention, in confusion, onto Genji, before turning back to Naruto, and staring blankly at the boy. Seeing that they just weren't getting it, Naruto paused a moment and lightly pinched the bridge of his nose as he put his pen and notebook away. "All right, as it seems you aren't quite getting it, I suppose we can spell it out."

"Naruto is very good at… explaining things," Gaara noted with a sage nod of his head.

"I do have a bit of practice I suppose," Naruto agreed with a nod of his own before he turned his head and shifted just a bit. "Now then, today, you're all here to invade Konoha, my village I should note, and something I'm really not too keen on happening…"

"Very true, it is a nice Village, so nice and green, full of life and very pretty cherry blossoms." Gaara added with another firm nod of his head, causing the Suna nin to shift their attention to him in confusion while Naruto rolled his eyes in amusement.

"All you care about is one, rather violent, cherry blossom." Naruto observed with a dry cut to his voice while he crossed his arms about his chest.

"True. But she is still very pretty." The red head shrugged slightly, a slight grin on his face, causing the Sand Shinobi to either take a step back in fear, or stare in shock.

"I prefer what I've got." Naruto countered before he turned his attention back to the group. "Now then, where was I? Ah yes, you're here to invade us. In fact, right now, Gaara here is supposed to be in the middle of Konoha, unleashing Shukaku to rain down death and destruction on the village."

"Which, I do have to admit, does sound more than a little fun," Gaara said with a slight note of disappointment in his voice, a sigh escaping his lips before shrugging a bit. "A shame we went and stuck him deeper down so he can't get out just by me going to sleep."

As the eyes glued to Gaara, Naruto rolled his eyes yet again and sighed slightly. "Oh, fine, go and ruin the punchline." Seeing the uncaring shrug the jade eyed boy sent him, Naruto sighed slightly then turned his attention back to the rest of the group. "Long story short, Gaara likes it better here. He has friends, a girlfriend, people that don't treat him like he's a demon, a girlfriend..."

"You already mentioned that part." Genji mumbled numbly as he stared at the pair.

"Yes, but it bears repeating." Naruto agreed with a shrug before grinning a bit. "So, naturally, one jinchuuriki to another, I went to old man Hokage to see what we could do for my new friend."

As they stared at the cheerfully grinning blonde, his words slowly registered in their minds and instantly the already pale looking ninja went even paler. Nodding in agreement Naruto let his cheerful smile grow a bit more menacing. "And, given that we'd already interrogated a Sound Nin and discovered their side of the invasion. Along with that, the fact that Gaara's sensei thought that while the tragedy of losing the 'author' and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word, of Icha Icha would be a tragedy, but a manageable one, losing both him, and the author of Sweet Silky Nights, also a Konoha nin, would be a bit too much, really played an important part."

"… We'd lose… BOTH!?" An outraged cry could be heard from somewhere in the Suna ranks.

"Indeed. Gaara here got his copy for the author himself a short time ago." Naruto agreed with a sage nod of his head. "Anyway. With all that said, what it boils down to is this. You guys treated Gaara like shit, so you don't deserve him. We're keeping him."

"… I am hardly a pet, Naruto," Gaara chided even as he subtly shifted his body, so the Suna shinobi could see his Sand protector had been replaced with a Leaf one.

"Details, details…" Naruto waved his hand airily with a slight smirk curling on his lips, before suddenly tapping his chin. "Although, I'm sure the girls could…"

"No." Gaara stated in a dead flat tone, before turning his attention towards the frozen Suna group. "Let's just deal with them already."

Taking a moment to glance from Gaara, to the rest of the group, Genji paused a moment, before opening his mouth to speak. Only, before anything could come out, one of his comrades, intimately familiar with the man's rants glared back at him. "Don't even THINK about saying, 'I told you so,' Genji."

The lifetime genin pouted slightly, what was the fun of being right, if you couldn't rub it in their faces, the last few moments of consciousness you had left?

-o-o-o-

Ino stared at the scene in front of her with a look mixed with awe and absolute horror. Next to her, Hinata merely gaped, her pale eyes wide in bewilderment. Next to the two teammates, Hiashi calmly sipped at his tea as he eyed the scene with a critical eye. "I'll give you a 10 for ingenuity, but a 3 for mental stability."

Inoichi ignored his friend as he continued to direct the singing and dancing Sound nin as they leapt about, embracing, singing, stripping down and stabbing each other with kunai. It had started out simply enough, a large contingent of Sound nin being intercepted by the men and their daughters. Moments later, the contingent had turned upon themselves at the application of Inoichi and Ino's combined Mind Body Confusion technique. Then, Inoichi had decided to get creative.

As the final two nin built up to a crescendo, then embraced one another, their bodies covered in the blood of their comrades, before they simultaneously rammed a kunai into the back of one another's skulls.

"Ok, seriously… what the hell, Daddy?!" Ino squeaked out as she stared at the suddenly silent battle field.

"Eh, what can I say? I've been hanging around you and Hiashi too long." The man shrugged, grinning cheerfully back at his daughter. "Shall we go see how Shikaku, Chouza and the boys are doing?"

"Hmmm… Or, we could go and see how the Inuzuka are doing." Hiashi offered, his eyes suddenly sparking hopefully.

Hinata palmed her face and sighed slightly as she muttered something rather unflattering under her breath.

"Now, now, just because Kiba is a filthy pervert, there's no need to say those kind of things about his Mother, Hinata." Hiashi chided lightly, before pausing a long moment. "Even if she does have a delightfully dirty mind."

"… If we see them on the way, we'll stop by and say 'Hi.'" Inoichi offered diplomatically, before smiling cheerfully. "Onwards then!"

"… You know, my family used to be sane." Ino noted as she settled into place next to Hinata. "Before you and Naruto-kun came into my life."

"And my father used to be a closet pervert." Hinata countered with a shrug and a sigh before she couldn't help but smile. "Still, would you really rather go back to how life was before?"

Ino didn't even pause as she shot her answer back at the girl with a grin. "Nope, not on your life."

-o-o-o-

Tenten was grinning in a way that made Shikamaru wholly uncomfortable. It was a grin, he'd learned, meant one of two things: Either she was learning something wickedly dirty about Sasuke and Haku's relationship, or she had a shiny new weapon of mass carnage she was waiting to try out. Seeing as how they were about to engage a compliment of Sound nin, he rather hoped it was the latter over the former.

The fact that Kankuro wore a matching grin, both assured him, and frightened him all the same, especially considering some of the ideas he'd given the two. After those brainstorming sessions, Tenten had begun hanging out with the puppeteer every chance she got, learning how to make the chakra strings he used to control his puppets. If he was honest with himself, Shikamaru had been hoping that the sessions would divert the rather… enthusiastic girl's attentions on the puppeteer.

Unfortunately, no such luck.

"Tsk, troublesome." Shikamaru sighed slightly before crouching down, a familiar hand sign and suddenly his shadow shot out, expanding and latching into one, then the dozens of other shadows nearby as almost instantly the group froze in its tracks. "Success. Whenever you two are ready."

Grinning madly, Kankuro threw out the bandaged bundle on his back, and suddenly his puppet, Karasu was hovering in the air above the frozen group. "Well, I have to thank you for being so generous as to be the test dummies for our new advance in puppetry."

"Oh, will you quit with the theatrics, kabuki-boy!?" Tenten interrupted as she glared mildly at the boy. "Make with the shiny and pointy destruction already!"

"See how it is?" Kankuro turned his head to his captive audience and sighed slightly. "The abuse I put up with! And I don't even get so much as a kiss outta it." A gesture made towards Shikamaru and the man continued even as he tugged on a particular string, and suddenly Karasu's back was loaded with an odd, heavy pair of sectioned boxes. "I get her all worked up, and he's the one that she drags off to have her way with."

"… you're also the one that steals his sister's underwear, wears make-up and reads Icha Icha." Shikamaru couldn't help but comment, before blinking slightly and hanging his head with a sigh. "Tsk, so troublesome, I've been hanging around Naruto far, far too much."

"… Seriously, are you going to kill us, or are you trying to make us kill ourselves from having to listen about your whiny, teenaged melodrama?" A voice spoke up from the Sound nin ranks.

"… And there we go, time to make with the carnage!" Kankuro noted as he tugged on a particular string, causing the boxes to suddenly open up, revealing an array of shiny, razor sharp kunai directed at the nin below them, then…. Nothing.

Frowning, Kankuro tugged on the string again, then again, before suddenly twitching as he felt Tenten's glare directed at him. Holding up a warding hand the boy quickly continued. "I swear! This never happens to me! It was working fine just last night! You can ask Shikamaru!"

Tenten paused a moment, a sudden line of drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth, before she quickly shook her head and growled at the boy, a kunai floating dangerously above her fingers. "You promised me shiny, pointy destruction!"

"I don't know what's wrong with it! I polished and oiled the joints up just this morning! The trigger was set! The charges pumping! I'm trying! I really am! But no matter how hard I jerk it…!" And then suddenly there was a slight explosion in the air above them, as the weapons suddenly erupted from Karasu's shoulders and fell upon the trapped nin with a sudden, merciless fury.

"Ha! See? I told you!" Kankuro shot back, as he smirked at Tenten. "Just a momentary misfire!"

With Tenten lost in an awed sea of appreciation, Shikamaru again ran the conversation through his mind and couldn't help but feel the urge to palm his face and hide, far, far away from the two.

-o-o-o-

Kabuto blinked slightly at the sight of Kakashi appearing in front of him, lazily slouched forward, hands in his pockets.

"Yo." There was no fear, no worry, only a decidingly relaxed pose as the man would seem to only half pay attention to him. "Been a little while, Kabuto-kun."

"Ah, you recognize me, eh Kakashi-san?" Kabuto paused a moment, before sighing as he removed his mask and lightly tossed it away. "Then I suppose I have no need for that then. Do you think you can catch me this time?"

"Well, ya see, last time I kinda got lost along the way…" The man drawled as he smiled back at the boy, his eye shifting up slightly in his head as he continued to lean lazily forward. "The road of life and all. So, this time, I went and brought a long a friend to help me out."

Frowning slightly, Kabuto couldn't help but glance around worriedly. "Please… please tell me it's not Gai-san."

"Oh, don't worry, Gai's busy giving those snake summons a headache." Kakashi's hand left his pocket as he waved it dismissively. "Nah, this is a new friend I made."

Just then, Baki appeared behind Kabuto, his arms crossed about his chest, causing the glasses wearing teen to relax slightly and smile. "Ah, but you see, Kakashi-san, you're not the only one to have made new friends."

"Oh, I know, Asuma, Iruka, Naruto, Lee… actually most anyone involved with the Leaf Genin teams that made it to the finals have made new friends." Kakashi agreed with another of his cheerful smiles. "Isn't that right, Baki?"

"Yes, I'd say so." The second one eyed man responded evenly as he continued to stand at Kabuto's back. "Asuma especially was rather interesting to talk to, one wind user to another."

A pit of dread sinking deep in his stomach, Kabuto turned his head over his shoulder and examined Baki. Stony face? Check. Jonin vest? Check. Suna forehead protector? Danger Kabuto! Danger! Leaf sign detected!

It was then, still frozen in shock as the full implications of Baki's allegiance hit him, that the sound of a thousand birds filled his ears. Right before a lightning blade crashed through his rib cage, and he suddenly couldn't feel his legs. As he glanced down, he noted the way he was supported solely by the hand sticking out of his chest. His legs, his hips, most of his stomach, was collapsing onto the ground below him, courtesy of a wind blade.

Kabuto managed a simple blink, before he slid backwards off of Kakashi's hand and hit the roof with a wet thud. The last thing he would hear, was Kakashi's voice, sighing. "Man… that's another shirt and glove I'm going to have to replace."

-o-o-o-

Kin huffed lightly as she crossed her arms about her chest and lightly kicked at the table as she sat on the couch. Outside, her Master was out and about, fighting to defend his home, and she was stuck here, under strict orders to not go out until someone came back for her. Glancing out the window she could see the distant flashes of combat, and she grumbled slightly before kicking the table again. It just wasn't fair!

-o-o-o-

"So, ah, Jiraiya, so nice of you to join the party…" Orochimaru noted nervously even as he hedged backwards bit by bit, that stare was getting to him. The outraged Jiraiya he could handle, the emotional Jiraiya he could handle, the jokester, the pervert, the author, the sannin, the sage, any of those things he could handle. All except this one aspect of his former friend he'd always been wary of.

"Normally, I might engage in this little banter, back and forth, traitor." The words left his lips in a cold, hard tone that made both Orochimaru and Sarutobi flinch slightly as it reached their ears. "But, unfortunately for you, I'm here to fix my past mistakes."

"Aw, I'm flattered, and you put me at the top of the list? Kukukukuku…" The humor, the bluster far more forced than was the norm for him as he shifted again, his arms loosely at his sides in a deceptive stance all three knew was far more ready than he appeared.

"Not even in the top three." Jiraiya responded with a cold shot as he shifted his stance as well. "I'm just through with putting it off, hoping that the Orochimaru I loved like a brother can still come back. He's dead, and gone. All that remains, is a twisted shadow of him that needs to be put down."

"Well, I see…" That dead pit in his stomach just dropped down to his feet as Orochimaru turned his attention to the Hokage. "And you, Sarutobi-sensei?"

"I have a mistake to fix." The man responded with a simple, thin smile, before Jiraiya made a rather pointed cough next to him and the man grimaced. "Well, several, but we decided to start with you."

"Then I suppose it's time to start things then?" Orochimaru began to make the appropriate signs, as he suddenly thrust his hands down towards the rooftop, summoning forth three coffins. Matching his actions, Jiraiya made signs of his own, and struck the roof with his foot, leaving Orochimaru to dodge backwards as row after row of tiles streamed forth and tore their way from their places on the roof and ripped through the coffins.

When he got a good look at the coffins themselves, the icy resolve on Jiraiya's face melted into one of burning cold rage as he flicked his eyes over to the snake sannin. "You… DARE?!"

As Sarutobi's eyes flicked from the coffins, labeled first, second and fourth, a look of comprehension dawned on his face and he took a step away from Jiraiya, even as he gave Orochimaru one, simple glance of simple, anger tainted pity.

"Well, it did seem like a good idea at the time." Orochimaru lamented lamely as he shifted slightly backwards. "Now, Jiraiya… old buddy, old chum… Can't we talk about this?"

"No." The word could have crushed a glacier with the frigid force behind it as Jiraiya answered him. "We can't."

What followed would live on as a moment of infamy in the convoluted legend of the three Sannin. When asked exactly what Jiraiya did to the Snake Sannin, Sarutobi simply turned green and refused to comment on the matter. What is known, is that despite everything he did, Jiraiya was unable to kill Orochimaru.

Not due to a lack of trying, the man's twisted experiments had created such a monstrous state, that the sannin was simply unable to figure out how. What he did do however, was to seal away the monster who had once been his best friend, deep in the bowls of Konoha. Waiting for Jiraiya to return with someone they both knew could figure that very how out.

When the Sound Four realized exactly what had happened, they'd been too bewildered to escape the four shadow clones of the Hokage. The way that Jiraiya's eyes had softened when he saw the foul cursing red head, send the recognition rippling through Sarutobi's own eyes. Though Tayuya would never know it, her resemblance to another, spirited red head had saved herself and her teammates from the worst that Konoha's T&I section had to offer.

All throughout the village, the route continued as cells of Sound and Sand nin were either defeated, or realized just how bad the situation had become and surrendered. When it was over and done with, the most extensive damage came to the eastern walls where one of Orochimaru's snake summons had broken through. Most of the rest had remained purely cosmetic.

-o-o-o-

"Wait… You're sending me on a what?" Naruto stared at the Hokage who was quietly leafing through the papers on a desk. "With HIM?!"

The accusatory finger had risen up, and was jabbed at a neutral faced Jiraiya who leaned back against the wall and remained silent as he listened to his sensei's words as the Hokage answered the teen. "On a mission, and yes, with him. In light of certain… developments, we need to have the last of the Sannin recalled back to the village. Jiraiya is the best suited to find her, and he's paid for an escort mission for you and your teammates to accompany him."

"But…" Naruto paused a moment before he slumped backwards and groaned loudly. "I just got done with all that invasion stuff! I was planning on taking a break, hanging out with Gaara and everyone else!"

"Meh, the other kid's Konoha nin now too, right?" Jiraiya cut in as he glanced at his sensei, getting a confirming nod of the head before he shrugged. "I'll foot the bill for him and whoever else he wants to bring. Not like I can't afford it."

"… You know, I can't be bought." Naruto shot back, glowering lightly at the man. "I make at least as much as you do."

"Not trying to buy you, kid." Jiraiya paused a long moment, closing his eyes as he slumped back and a sigh escaped his lips. "I've got a lot to make up to you. I know it. If it means that I need to foot the bill for your friends so I can spend some of the time getting to know you better, hell, like I said, not like I can't afford it."

Naruto spent a moment, glaring from one of them to the other, before sighing just a bit and slumping in defeat. "So, basically a bunch of genin are going to be escorting a sannin?"

"Since all the chunin exam finalists are now Konoha nin, we're going to wait until after you return to hold some actual combat trials to determine readiness." Sarutobi spoke up as he looked at the boy carefully. "You and your friends have already displayed the tactical and strategic thinking necessary for promotion, now we simply need to make sure that their combat skills are up to par."

"Their?" Naruto asked curiously as he arched a brow at the Hokage who snorted softly in response.

"Naruto, there is no doubt that yours and Gaara's combat skills are at least chunin level. Your place as a chunin is already assured. With Gaara, we need to do a bit of a mental evaluation, as well as a trial period for himself, his siblings and his sensei."

"So, what… You're saying I passed?" Naruto's brow was arched slightly as he crossed his arms about his chest. "This isn't just something you're both trying to do to make me not pissed at you anymore, is it?"

"Naruto, something as serious as this, I would NOT put my village's safety and reputation at stake to appease my personal wants." Sarutobi responded with a firm frown as he looked past his steepled fingers at the boy, before pausing a moment and offering him a slight grin. "That doesn't mean an old man can't hope though."

"I'm still pissed at both of you," Naruto said flatly, before grumbling slightly as he crossed his arms about his chest. "But at least I get to hang out with the girls and Gaara some."

"We're leaving in the morning, so have Gaara report here with who's coming with us." Jiraiya spoke up quietly before he gave the boy a lingering look, then walked over to the window, "I'll meet you at the North gate at 8." And with that, the sannin vanished out the window, leaving Naruto alone with the aged Hokage.

"… Please don't be too hard on Jiraiya, Naruto." The old man took a slow puff from his pipe even as he slumped back in his chair. "He lost so much in a very short amount of time. You, I and Konoha are all he has left."

When Naruto failed to respond, visibly holding back a biting comment that Sarutobi could see he wanted to make, the old man sighed once more and looked out the window. "Jiraiya was an orphan of the first Shinobi War. The only family he's ever had, have been his team, and your parents.

"He watched his brother turn into a monster and betray us all. He watched the woman he loved fall for another, then abandon him and Konoha when the pain grew too much. He watched the student he loved like a son, sacrifice himself to save this village, while he lost your mother due to complications when you were born."

Sarutobi took a moment to let his words sink in as he took a long puff on his pipe before he continued. "I'm not saying that he couldn't have done better. Or that I couldn't for that matter. But, I just want you to have a better understanding of the why for him."

Naruto simply looked at the man, wordlessly before he gave a slight, brief nod, before turning around and exiting the building, leaving the Hokage alone in his thoughts.

-o-o-o-

"So, mission tomorrow, you're coming with," Naruto stated casually as he slid down into the seat next to Gaara. "Escorting the pervert. Anyone you wanna bring?"

"… Why would we be escorting my brother anywhere?" Gaara asked curiously as his head tilted lightly to the side, staring at his friend.

"Wrong pervert." Naruto corrected with a soft little chuckle as he lightly leaned back.

"Hmm… That Gai person? Or, perhaps Kakashi-san? Or…" Gaara continued to list off a variety of different names, each one causing Naruto's face to fall a little bit more.

"I forgot how many perverts there are around here." Muttering slightly under his breath, Naruto shook his head and sighed. "Jiraiya."

"Ah, your godfather." Gaara nodded once as he settled back. "That does make more sense then."

"Do you have to remind me?" Naruto almost whined as he lightly glared at his friend, huffing slightly with a sigh before nodding his head. "Yeah, seems he's interested in trying to make it up to me. He's got a mission to track down the other Sannin, Tsunade and bring her back, so he hired off my team to go with him. I mentioned I was planning on hanging out with you, and since he was footing the bill for the escort anyway, he offered to pay for you and whoever you might want to bring with you."

"Sakura." Gaara answered immediately, without even a moment's consideration.

"Just Sakura?" Naruto blinked slightly as he looked at his friend oddly. "Not Kankuro or Temari?"

"Temari snores." Gaara stated simply and to the point. "Rather Loudly."

"And Kankuro?"

"He's Kankuro."

"True." Naruto grudgingly admitted before shrugging slightly. "Sorry, just… Kinda odd… Since I don't have any siblings and you have two…"

"Would you want a sibling like Kankuro?" Gaara countered pointedly as he leveled a look at Naruto.

"If it meant actually having a family?" Naruto responded, his eyes lifting up for a moment to stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, I would."

Shifting in slight discomfort, Gaara paused a moment, before the words left his lips. "Care to take mine off my hands?"

"Not on your life."

"Didn't think so."

-o-o-o-

The next morning found Naruto standing casually at the north gate with Kin happily standing next to him, with Hinata and Ino chatting quietly with one another off to the side while Sakura leaned back against Gaar's chest, his arms about her waist.

"So, this everyone who's going?" Jiraiya asked casually as he showed up, his lips twitching just a bit as he couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth at the couple and the.. well whatever the hell you wanted to call his godson's convoluted relationship with his teammates and the Tsuichi girl.

"I do believe so." Gaara agreed with a nod, before pausing slightly as he eyed the man. "Do we need to start informing the hot springs in the areas we'll be visiting about you?"

"Not for the foreseeable future." Jiraiya responded quietly, his eyes growing distant for a moment before he shook his head slightly. "Anyway. We'll be hitting a lot of gambling parlors, casinos and bars. You're free to gamble as you want, but no taking out loans. Stick to what you have on you, I'm not going to bail you out."

"And if I have to bail you out, I will not be happy." Naruto spoke up as he glanced meaningfully to his peers. "I do believe everyone here is aware of what happens when I'm not happy?" The smile he gave them sent a shiver down there spines while Jiraiya repressed a snicker as he nodded.

"Wait… you bail us out?" Sakura asked, her eyes blinking in incomprehension. "I thought you were an orphan?"

"I am." Naruto responded simply with a shrug as he smirked back at her. "I just happen to write better than the pervert here."

"Allegedly." Jiraiya responded to the barb by almost sticking his tongue out at his godson, before smirking a bit back at the widely blinking girl. "Kid's worth almost as much as I am."

"Naruto's… Rich?" Sakura just blinked as she tried to process the statement.

"Hell, add in his parents money and he probably has more than me." Jiraiya shrugged a bit as he idly glanced at a suddenly subdued looking Naruto.

"You knew Naruto's parents?" Hinata spoke up, knowing, remembering how much her teammate had wanted to know as much as he could about them.

"Yeah. He acts more like his mom than his dad." Jiraiya answered simply as he shouldered his pack. "All right, time to head out."

As Naruto remained silent, the bewildered members of his team followed after him, a curious looking Sakura and Gaara nearby.

-o-o-o-

"Hmm?" Naruto blinked slightly as the door to his room slid open, before scowling slightly from where he was buried in the clinging forms of Hinata, Ino and Kin. "My, the voyeurs around here are a lot more brazen than they are in Konoha."

Hinata blinked slightly before looking at the towering, blue skinned man with a massive, bandaged sword leaning easily on his shoulder. "Hmm.. I don't think he's a local, Naruto-kun. He's wearing a Mist forehead protector."

"Mmm…?" Ino blinked slightly as she leaned forward, peering at the slightly amused, slightly dumbstruck figure. "While black works, the red completely clashes with your complexion."

"Perhaps a purple instead of red? Or a delightful sky blue!" Kin offered helpfully as she leaned against the others.

"Well, he is still a voyeur." Naruto said easily as he casually nibbled at Ino's neck. "Really, some people, worse perverts than my god father."

"Oi, Itachi!" The massive man turned his head, glancing back to speak down the hall. "Aren't the jinchuuriki supposed to be lonely pariahs?"

That made the quartet blink slightly before the glanced at one another, even as the man grinned back at them. "Because, from where I'm standing, it sure as hell doesn't look like this brat's unloved."

As the door slid more fully open, it revealed the crimson eyed form of Itachi Uchiha glancing neutrally down at the group before meeting Naruto's eyes. "Well, you do seem popular, Naruto-kun."

"Great, this is supposed to be a nice, relaxing trip to pick up an old gambling booze hound, and what do we get?" Naruto grumbled slightly and shook his head with a sigh. "Spanky's crazy brother."

"… Spanky…?" Itachi twitched at that as his crimson eyes narrowed.

Next to him, the shark-like Kisame barked off a laugh as he leaned against the door frame. "Oh, I gotta hear this one. Spanky?"

"Well, he should be proud…" Naruto responded back with a casual ease as he leaned against the wall and slipped his arms back into his coat. "He DID teach the supposed genius of our generation of Hyuga the meaning of the word… 'Respect.'"

"… Spanky…?" Itachi repeated, the twitch growing into a regular pattern as he stared back at the quartet while Kisame laughed again.

"Oh, took him to hand eh?" Kisame chuckled even more as his grin revealed the savage, pointed teeth.

"By hand, by paddle, by crop…" Ino listed off with her fingers, before lightly tapping her chin a moment as she pursed her lips. "Why, I think he even got him with the whip a few times." She paused, before brightening considerably as she reached into her jacket and pulled out a familiar envelope. "I have pics of you don't believe us!"

"… Why are you carrying around pictures of Sasuke's disciplining of Neji, Ino-chan?" Hinata asked, staring at her teammate and frowning just a bit.

"You never know when you're going to come across one of his still rabid fan girls." Ino responded with a sage nod of her head. "The pictures break their minds so beautifully!"

"Twisted girl." Kisame noted with an amused chuckle.

"She's a Yamanaka." Itachi responded flatly as he almost glared at the picture envelope in her hand. "She was one of my brother's fan girls as I last heard."

"Man, are you out of the loop." Ino snorted softly as she lightly lounged against Naruto's chest. "Naruto-kun's where it's at these days. Uchiha… the whole broody, condescending pretty boy thing is sooooo last year. These days it's all about the blonde pranksters!"

"And the ex-psycho redheads." Hinata pointed out with an amused grin. "Sakura's been having to fend them off with a club."

"The redemption shtick works." Kin countered with a grin. "Hell, even LEE has more fan girls than Spanky these days."

"… Are you trying to destroy me?" Itachi responded with a ripple of annoyance showing on his face as Kisame grinned in complete amusement.

"Nah, if we wanted to do that… Well…" Naruto began before a loud voice could be heard.

"Itachi!" Sasuke's growl burned through the air as the angry Uchiha appeared, racing down the hallway, intent upon lodging his kunai in the man's body, only to be grabbed by the back of his jacket at the last moment and lifted into the air.

"Oi, this one looks kinda familiar…" Kisame paused a moment, looking over the violently squirming Sasuke before glancing back at the quartet. "You four know him?"

"HI SPANKY!" Came the chorused response as the four waved at the suddenly freezing boy.

Turning his head, Sasuke blinked slightly at the sight before growling as he crossed his arms about his chest. "Dammit, if I'm gonna be forced to look at so many scantily clad girls, you could at least have Naruto in the same position!"

Itachi's twitch suddenly grew into a spasm.

"Uncle Kisame…" A new, familiar voice could be heard, causing the towering missing nin to blink slightly then turn his head to behold Haku, walking calmly down hallway. "Why are you holding my boyfriend like that?"

"… Haku-kun?" Kisame blinked slightly before turning his head, his eyes growing owlishly large as he looked from Sasuke, to Haku, then back again. "… Boyfriend?!"

"Uncle Kisame?!" Came six chorused voices as the Konoha nins, former and current all stared incredulously at the man, before Itatchi registered the rest of what the boy had said.

"Wait… boyfriend…?" Itatchi's face was a rippling explosion of twitches as he stared back at Kisame. "Isn't the Haku-kun you were referring to a boy?"

"Yup, he is…" Kisame agreed, his voice stunned and subdued as he stared wide eyed at the glowering Uchiha in his hand.

"And that is most definitely the Haku-kun you refer to?" Itachi continued, his voice slowly growing toneless.

"Considering I can feel my boxers being turned to ice?" Kisame responded with a wince and a nod. "I'd say so."

"And he just called my little brother his boyfriend."

"Yes, he did."

"… Then… Sasuke… my little brother… is…. is…" Itachi seemed to struggle around the words, staring as his eyes grew wider and wider.

"Gay? Homosexual? Lusted after Naruto-kun almost as much as we do before he met Haku?" Hinata offered up helpfully.

"Is this true, Sasuke?" Itachi turned his head, staring wide eyed at his little brother.

"What, I'm not putting on a show for you with my boyfriend just because you don't believe me." Sasuke shot out, before pausing thoughtfully. "Though, if it keeps bothering you this much… Haku, baby…"

"… Spanky-kun, I am not making out with you in front of my Uncle Kisame just so you can fuck with your brother's head." Haku responded simply as he lightly glowered at his boyfriend.

"Oh, it's not JUST because I want to fuck with his head." Sasuke responded with a lecherous grin. "When do I NOT want to make out with you?"

Haku paused a moment, before lightly tapping his lower lip in contemplation, before smiling brightly. "Ok! As long as you're not doing it JUST to fuck with his head."

"Fuck." Itachi swore as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Hey now! We haven't gotten THAT far in our relationship!" Sasuke protested as he glared at his brother. "What kind of sick, degenerate…"

"Well, there goes that plan." Itachi continued, not quite hearing his brother's ranting. "5 years worth of planning, down the tubes because my brother's gay." Grumbling softly the last straight Uchiha sighed and pulled off his robs and handed them over to Kisame. "Sorry Kisame, looks like I've gotta go back to Konoha."

"Wha tha hell?!" Kisame finally dropped the Uchiha brat and stared at his partner.

"Well, SOMEONE has to fucking revive the clan, and if Spanky here's not going to do it, guess who it falls to?" Itachi grumbled even more as he sighed and shook his head. "It was so simple, I kill off the clan before they can start a civil war that would lead to Konoha's destruction other than my little brother. He hates me, he gets strong, he kills me and then goes and starts the clan over again from scratch with a nice Konoha girl."

He paused, before throwing his hands up in the air and sighing. "But NOOOOOO, Sasuke has to be gay! So, unless I go back Konoha, my clan dies out."

"… Wasn't that the whole point of you killing them off?" Naruto pointed out as he blinked slightly at Itachi before he reworked what the man had said in his head. "Wait... civil war?!"

"Dear old dad and the rest of the clan were planning on trying to overthrow the Hokage." Itachi responded as he swapped out his marred forehead protector with a fresh one. "Sarutobi tried to find a peaceful solution, it didn't work out, so, he was forced into a position he hated." Itachi paused, casually adjusting his retailored ANBU uniform. "Tried to even use me as a spy for him. Ugh."

"So… you didn't want to overthrow the Hokage?" Kin offered helpfully as she stared up the young man.

"Hello, genius!" Itachi lightly tapped his head and rolled his eyes. "The instant they started embroiling into things and actually began the violence, Konoha would have been so weakened that it would have been easy for her enemies to finish her off. Not that our 'brilliant' father could see that, arrogant bastard that he was." Again the elder Uchiha brother made a face and sighed. "Truth be told I'd be perfectly happy NEVER fighting or killing again. I HATED it."

"…" The rest of the group, even Sasuke, Kisame and Haku stared at the older teen in absolute shock.

"What? I did what I had to do to preserve peace." The teen responded defensively. "Doesn't mean I liked it."

"… THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH THAT DAMNED GENJUTSU?!" Sasuke screamed as he glared at his brother.

"Mmm? Oh, I wanted you to kill me of course." Itachi nodded his head sagely and then shook his head. "Kill me, restore the clan and be nothing like the Uchiha of the past."

"… wouldn't it have just been easier to do it yourself in the first place?" Naruto offered curiously.

"Are you kidding me?" Itachi stared at the boy incredulously. "So, what, I'm supposed to just kill almost everyone I loved, then just sit down and start up a happy little family?!"

"I suppose that is a bit of a stretch." The boy admitted with a sigh before glancing towards Kisame. "So, Haku's Uncle… How's that working out for you?"

"… Haku… is this blonde brat a friend of yours?" Kisame asked delicately.

"Naruto-kun, or Ino-chan?" Haku put forth curiously. "Well, they both are really, but Ino-chan is a bit odd at times."

"Very, very true." Naruto admitted with a sage nod of his head.

"I'm not weird, I'm intriguing!" Ino protested as she pouted slightly.

"… Fuck." Kisame grumbled slightly before tossing aside his cloak as well. "Looks like I'm coming to Konoha with you Itachi. Someone's gotta make sure your deviant little brother doesn't take advantage of a sweet boy like Haku."

Haku beamed up at the blue skinned man and nodded happily while Sasuke just stared at the trio and turned to face Naruto. "Is… this as fucked up as I think it is?"

"Yup!" Naruto agreed, nodding his head sagely. "Enjoy the therapy bills!"

"So, how did you two meet?" Kisame's voice could be heard asking as Sasuke immediately blushed.

"Oh, Zabuza-sama took a contract with this horrible man named Gatou in Wave and I ended up having to perforate Sasuke-kun because he was protecting our target… But he looked so cute in those little shorts of his, I couldn't bring myself to kill him, and when Gatou betrayed us…"

Sasuke whimpered softly and hung his head in shame as he trudged after the procession as his boyfriend proceeded to rip his dignity to shreds with praise of how cute he'd been.

A moment later, Gaara popped his head into the room and glanced from Naruto to the various girls then back down the hallway. "Did we miss something?"

"Nothing important." Naruto responded with a shake of his head. "Just the sordid details of the reasoning behind the Uchiha massacre, Haku's Uncle Kisame and Itachi returning to Konoha because obviously a gay Uchiha can't resurrect the clan."

"Ah…" Gaara paused a moment, rubbing his chin slightly in thought, before shrugging a bit. "Have fun then."

It was that instant that Jiraiya appeared, his eyes hard and he glanced around, warily. "Did you by any chance see…?"

"Sasuke's older brother Itachi and a blue skinned guy named Kisame that looks like a shark?" Ino supplied helpfully. "You just missed them walking off with Sasuke and Haku, heading for Konoha."

"… They just… left?" Jiraiya blinked, then blinked again as he lightly set the woman down and stared at his godson and the girls.

"Well, more than a just left," Hinata admitted. "It was more of a Itachi and Kisame showed up, we mentioned Sasuke's nickname, and Kisame HAD to know the story behind that."

"And then, after Ino-sama and Hinata-sama filled him in on that, Spanky himself showed up, and got caught by Kisame. Then Haku showed up, wanting to know why his Uncle Kisame was holding his boyfriend like that." Kin offered helpfully with a smile as she snuggled back into Naruto. "Then we learned some really juicy details about the Uchiha being a bunch of stupid traitors that Itachi had to get rid of to prevent a civil war that would lead to the end of Konoha."

"… I swear, days like this make me wonder why I didn't just go with Tsunade-hime." Jiraiya muttered softly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ok, no more talking about village secrets." Pausing a moment, the white haired man turned his head and glanced from the silent Gaara to the snuggling Kin. "Congratulations, you two are stuck as Leaf Nin for the rest of your lives. Now, I need a drink."

Kin and Gaara blinked at moment at one another, before Gaara spoke the question on both their minds. "Is... that supposed to be a bad thing?"

"I think it was his way of politely saying that if you ever try to defect from the Leaf, he'll kill you." Ino noted with a slight stretch before curling back into Naruto's side. "What with the knowing of Leaf secrets and what not."

"Ah, ok." Gaara and Kin both nodded their heads in acceptance before Gaara shut the door and headed back to his room.

-o-o-o-

It was several weeks later that they found themselves sitting in a restaurant eating dinner with Jiraiya sighing slightly as he leaned back in his seat. "I forgot to factor in how expensive it would be to feed you two."

The two individuals in question raised their eyes, one blue, one green to the man, then shrugged in unison as they returned to devouring the food in front of them. From next to them, Sakura shook her head, palming her face as she couldn't help but stare. "Where do they put it all?"

"I put it in my Ramen seal." Naruto offered with an innocent smile as he looked over at Sakura.

"Ramen seal?" Jiraiya spoke up, staring slightly at the boy as he couldn't help but feel his lips twitch up slightly at the corners of his mouth.

"What did you think I thought it was until I knew better?" Naruto countered with a slight smirk on his lips as he shrugged then leaned back, pausing a moment. "Huh, I wonder if Iruka-sensei will still be able to walk when we get back."

"Your Academy instructor?" Jiraiya clarified lightly as he studied the nodding blonde boy, before Ino spoke up with a smirk.

"Where do you think Naruto-kun gets his tendency to get involved with beautiful girls from?" The Yamanaka smirked regally as she lightly snuggled more firmly up against Naruto's side.

"Well, technically Iruka-sensei got it from Naruto-kun, not the other way around." Hinata reminded the girl with a slight smile on her face.

"He's seeing both Anko-sensei and Kurenai-sensei." Ino declared flatly. "And they've set their sights on him making jonin. So, between that and their off hours activities? No, I doubt he'll be walking."

Jiraiya blinked, then blinked again as he turned his head to stare at his godson for a long moment before blinking. "So wait, you actually DID hook up your favorite teacher with two incredibly hot kunoichi?"

"I just put him on a blind date with Anko-chan." Naruto shrugged slightly as he leaned back, smirking slightly. "Then gave him a little bit of advice. He snagged Kurenai-sensei all on his own."

Jiraiya paused again, staring at Naruto for a long moment, before the sannin proceeded to bash his head against the table, repeatedly.

Almost immediately, an angry, feminine voice called out. "HEY! Keep it down over there, some of us are trying to drink in peace and quiet!"

Pausing a moment Jiraiya stared, blankly ahead, before groaning again and hitting his head, even louder against the table.

"Hey! I said...!" A blonde woman, with rather full assets in a grey top appeared in front of their table, her brown eyes smouldering angrily before she paused, and stared. "... Jiraiya?"

"Hello, Tsunade-hime." Jiraiya responded dryly as he caught his cheek in his palm and nodded to her. "Fancy meeting you here."

"What, did sensei manage to convince you to baby sit?" The woman practically sneered in her smirk as she glanced vaguely over the group with slightly alcohol glazed eyes.

"Nope, just playing client to an escort mission with my godson, his girl friend, his friend and said friend's girlfriend." Jiraiya responded with a shrug.

"... Godson...?" Tsunade blinked slightly as she peered at Gaara. "Huh, I thought he'd have Minato's hair, not Kushina's."

"Um, that's Gaara, not Naruto." Jiraiya cleared his throat slightly.

"... Can I give you to him so you're his god father instead?" Naruto offered hopefully, before shrugging under the slight look of exasperation Jiraiya sent him. "A guy's gotta try." Pausing a moment, Naruto studied the woman for a moment before shaking his head and letting out a longer sigh. "So, this the drunken loser that you've been looking for?"

"... Drunken... loser?" Tsunade's eye twitched slowly as she turned her attention fully onto Naruto, as she growled at the boy. "I'm one of the sannin you little brat! Show some respect!"

Jiraiya groaned, loudly and hung his head as he remained silent, waiting for the inevitable as he desperately looked for a waiter out of the corner of his eye.

Naruto snorted in response as he gave her a long, flat look. "Lady, all that means these days is that you're colossally screwed up in the head. Hell, from what I can tell, the most worthwhile one of you is him." The boy jerked his thumb at Jiraiya and gave her a flat look. "And considering how I feel about the guy that calls himself my god father, that's saying something."

"... Why you arrogant little..." Tsunade was practically blazing now as she glared at the boy. "I should..."

"Tsunade Senju. By order of the Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, you are formally recalled to Konoha, and ordered to present yourself to the Hokage, immediately." Jiraiya interupted, immediately drawing the woman's attention back to him. "If you refuse this order, you will immediately be branded a missing nin."

Tsunade blinked, then stared, dumbfounded at her former teammate. "... What?"

Author's Noes: Yes, I know that Orochimaru was sealed by Itachi and burned. However, at the time of the order, Itachi was still officially a missing Nin. Just as I know he wasn't actually immortal, I just used that for a plot device, and fortunately, this is AU. And, as for not writing out what Jiraiya did... It really, REALLY needs to be censored in a comedy fic like this.

I could write it.... but it would kill off the humor for the rest of the story.

I was going to put something else in this, but I've rather completely forgotten what, ah well, maybe I'll remember later.


	23. Chapter 23

Bondage Style!

Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. I'll give him back when I'm done.... Eventually.

Author's notes: mm A bittersweet end I think.

-o-o-o-

"I thought he was rather to the point." Gaara observed carefully as he lightly leaned against a wide eyed and silently staring Sakura.

"He did seem that way." Naruto agreed with a shrug of his shoulders before he turned his attention back to his food and pointedly made a show of ignoring the two sannin.

"... What the hell are you talking about, Jiraiya?!" The woman stared angrily at the neutral faced Jiraiya even as the vast majority of the group ignored her, leaving only the white haired sannin and a staring Sakura to pay attention.

"Hmm... well they do say hearing is the first thing to go." Gaara noted idly as he would lightly take a sip from his cup of tea.

"I thought it was eyesight?" Ino offered, up, smiling innocently as she glanced at Hinata.

"Mmm, and I heard it was the mind." Hinata countered while she took a slow sip of her own tea.

"I always heard it was the sex drive myself." Kin offered up, as she immediately felt a group of horrified eyes descending upon her, causing her to shrug. "What? Hello, remember what clan I grew up in?"

"Ah, this is true." Naruto slowly nodded his head, before pausing a bit as he glared lightly down at Kin. "Just don't think for a second you're going to trick me into doing even more with you now to make up for it."

"Curses." The girl grumbled softly under her breath.

Ignoring the genin gallery, Jiraiya reached down, took hold of his saucer of sake and took a sip. "I think I was pretty straight forward. You're ordered back to Konoha."

"Bu-wha.... Sensei can't do that!" Tsunade responded her eyes still glistening with shock as she stared back at the man. "You... you know how much I hate that damned place!"

"... Can we just slap the missing nin label on her and go home already?" Gaara asked hopefully as he lightly took another sip of his tea. "As nice as this has been, I would like to get back to training."

"... I thought you'd already gotten back up to...?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Yes." Gaara agreed with a nod of his head. "But, I'm curious, exactly what else I could start doing if I actually applied myself with this."

"He's just pouty because I won't let him test any of his new ideas on me." Sakura stated blandly as she blushed slightly and glanced away.

"… Gaara, you do realize most people don't find to be that… comfortable, right?" Naruto offered up in the same bland tone as Sakura as he stared at his friend.

"… I was just trying to give her a massage." Gaara protested immediately as he stared back at the blue eyed boy in front of him.

"With a variation of his Desert Coffin Technique." Sakura clarified as she sent her boyfriend a mild glare.

"You would have been fine."

"I would've had stand stuck in uncomfortable places for weeks." She countered back, giving him a flat look. "You want to give me a massage? Use these." And with that, she reached down and grabbed hold of the boy's hands.

"But that's so… mundane," the boy muttered slightly under his breath while Sakura rolled her eyes in exasperation and the rest of the group stared at him with varying levels of amusement.

"As amusing as this is…" Jiraiya spoke up a slight smile on his face before he glanced at Tsunade. "Yes, he can. You've become almost as big of an embarrassment to Konoha as Orochimaru."

"Oooh, that's a lotta embarrassment," Kin noted as she lightly snuggled into Ino's side. "I mean, seriously, you'd know what I mean if you ever met him."

"Thankfully, I've only been exposed to two out of three, Kin-chan." Naruto responded dryly before chuckling a bit. "So, you're the only non-sannin here that's met all three, how would you rank em?"

"Well, other than his early exhibitions of stalkerish behavior, and lewd perversion…." Kin began before Jiraiya's audible mutter cut her off.

"Following your godson around, trying to get him to talk to you is NOT stalking someone."

"As I was saying, other than his earlier exhibitions of STALKERISH behavior and SUPER lewd perversion," Kin clarified, sending a light glare over at Jiraiya before her face softened a bit. "I'd have to say, Jiraiya's the least disgraceful. Especially since I haven't seen or heard about him doing any peeping since we met him."

Naruto blinked a moment, opening his mouth to protest, before he considered the words and turned his head, staring over at Jiraiya. "What the hell?"

"I have my reasons," the sannin responded simply as he took another, quiet sip from his sake, before his face hardened as he sent a glare at the still stupefied looking Tsunade. "And this isn't a joke, Tsunade. I've got Orochimaru sealed in a cell back in Konoha, if I have to, I'll put you in the one right next to him."

"Y-y-you caught him?!" Tsunade managed to stutter out as she stared back at the man in front of her, a sudden sense of dread trickling down her spine as Kin's eyes grew like saucers.

"He… he's still alive?! And… and in Konoha?!" Kin squeaked as she quickly curled tighter into Ino, fear almost radiating off her.

"Only because the bastard wouldn't fucking die." Jiraiya spit out as he growled, a sudden burst of anger breaking through his face. "Oh, and believe me, I tried. No matter how I crushed, pulverized, burned, sliced, ripped, stabbed, and a number of other things I tried, he still wouldn't fucking die."

"Since… since when have you wanted to kill him?" It scared her to be honest, and there were very few things that Tsunade of the Sannin would admit scared her. The kind, happy, go lucky pervert, the gallant, in his own way, Jiraiya could be stone cold, merciless and uncaring, she'd seen it herself in the shinobi wars, but never before had she seen him actually WANT to kill someone, let alone the man who had once meant so much to him.

"Since he dug up the bodies of your grandfather, your great-uncle and MY Minato, and tried to use them to help him kill sensei and destroy Konoha." Jiraiya fought down the growl that threatened to break through his throat as he glared back at Tsunade. "He was going to make them his mindless little puppets. He was going to use them to help destroy EVERYTHING they gave their lives to protect."

"… So… so what." Tsunade's eyes turned away, refusing to look at the man, refusing to let him see the way the tears were threatening to fall down her face. "They were fools anyway, throwing away their lives for that cursed place."

A silence descended on the room, as the anger in the air are grew almost palpable as two sets of eyes fell on Tsunade and she couldn't help but flinch back from the intensity of that emotion. Godfather and godson bore on their faces, identical glares of pure, outraged fury. As one, their fists were clenched, their jaws set, and unseen by both, Hinata allowed a simple, knowing smile to curl across her face.

Just as Jiraiya began to speak, Naruto's voice cut in like a razor as he glared at the blonde woman in front of him. "So, they were all fools huh? Then I guess you think they died for nothing, huh?"

Jiraiya's face was unreadable as he looked down at the boy before leaning back, and simply letting him speak.

"The Hokages have always been fools." Tsunade shot back bitterly as she glared at the boy. "Everyone I've ever loved has been taken from my by that accursed place. And too many of them were fools, wanting to be Hokage."

"Yes, I'm sure Dan and Nawaki are so proud to hear you say that about them and spitting on their memories." Jiraiya answered her with a cold flat voice.

"Let's not forget her the first and second Hokages." Naruto picked up before Tsunade could respond. "You know, her grandfather and her great uncle? The ones who were willing to give their lives to protect and keep Konoha safe." For a moment, he paused, before turning his glare fully onto the woman, as the molten anger just bubbled up into place and his voice dropped to a frigid whisper. "But, let's not forget my father, and everyone else who's ever put their lives on the line to defend Konoha, no matter the circumstances."

"It makes me wonder, if you even really loved them." Jiraiya spat out coldly as he glared back at the woman.

"…How… how dare you." Tears were streaming down her face as the female sannin glared at the two confronting her. "How dare you!? YOU KNOW how much they meant to me! YOU KNOW HOW much I LOVED them!"

"I thought I did." Jiraiya answered her in that same, cold tone. "Then you spent over 15 years running like a coward, turning into nothing more than a loser and a drunk. FIFTEEN YEARS, Tsunade!" The man turned and gestured around the table. "You've been running since before any of them were born. Fifteen years of saying that the people you've loved have been worthless fools. Fifteen years, becoming a joke, a disgrace. Fifteen years, wallowing in your failure, your fear, your disgrace."

A hissing growl left his lips, even as he glared at the woman. "The people who still care about you have been waiting, hoping, and trying to let you heal. But, it's become obvious that despite your reputation as the greatest medic our world has ever known, you've failed to heal yourself." With a slow heavy sigh he shook his head and gave her a softer look. "It's time to come stop running, and come home, princess."

"You do know all about running, don't you?" Tsunade spat back past the way his words dug deep into her heart and glared at the man. "Who the hell are you to lecture me about running?! After everything you've…"

"I know, because I've done it." Jiraiya snapped back as he growled at the woman. "I know because I've lost everyone that ever mattered to me, except sensei and Konoha. To war, to demons, to others, to their own pain, and most of all, to my own stupid, foolishness." The pure, raw pain in his eyes, in his voice struck hard against Tsunade as he continued on. "The only family I have left, hates me. And he's right to. He has every reason to and I allowed it, because I nursed my wounds instead of letting them heal. I spent almost as long as you running."

The man, took a slow, deep breath, before again, that hard steel returned to his eyes, to his voice as he let his eyes pierce through her. "Then I realized, when I couldn't even meet the eyes of simple picture of his father, that I had to stop running and face my pain, and my mistakes. Tell me Tsunade, could you look into their eyes, knowing how you've spit upon their ideals? Their legacy? Can you?"

The table grew still for a moment, as Tsunade averted her eyes to the side, refusing to meet the man's gaze as she turned, and silently walked away, the silence her only answer. A moment later a woman with short, brown hair who'd been just behind the blonde stood up, her dark eyes studying the sannin still at the table for a moment, before a slight, sad smile cracked her lips. "It is good to see you again, Jiraiya-sama."

"Shizune." Again Jiraiya's face softened as he nodded his head, even as he slumped back into his seat and drained the saucer of sake. "A fine mess we three turned out to be, neh?"

"Are you sure we should be talking about this in front of…?" The woman gestured quietly to the two boys and four girls seated at the table with Jiraiya and nervously bit her lower lip.

"Heh, they already know some of Konoha's dirtiest laundry, what's it matter if they hear anymore? It's not like their opinions of the sannin will get any worse." The man shrugged quietly as he poured himself another saucer. "This is Shizune, Tsunade's apprentice. Shizune, these are Naruto, Gaara, Ino, Hinata, Sakura and Kinuko." When the last girl mentioned glared at him he set her back a slightly triumphant smirk. "But we all call her Kin."

"You're never going to let it go, are you?" The girl huffed slightly as she crossed her arms about her chest and pouted slightly.

"Never." Jiraiya agreed with a grin and a nod. "It's too damned funny."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all." The woman bowed slightly and offered them a smile. "Please forget Tsunade-sama, she's…"

"No." Naruto's voice cut her off as the boy lightly glared at her. "No making excuses for her, no covering for her. She's made a choice to be like that for this long."

Shizune began to protest, to come to her mentor's defense, before a slow sigh escaped her lips and she reluctantly nodded her head. "I've done the best I can, it's just…"

"Look, I'm sure if you've been her apprentice for so long you know a helluva lot about healing the body." Naruto cut in again as he gave her a long steady look before shaking his head. "But the heart? It doesn't work the same. Sometimes, it's hurt too deeply and you can't just sit back and let it heal on its own. You have to drag em, sometimes kicking and screaming out to face their problems, instead of making excuses for em. Otherwise, things just fester, and you get the sannin."

Shaking his head, Naruto grumbled a bit before he got up, kissing each of his girls on their foreheads. "I need some air. I've already dealt with enough of this shit with Hiashi." Grumbling slightly the boy got up and left the group behind, even as Hinata smiled slightly once more as she watched the path he chose to take.

When he was gone, Hinata turned her attention to where Shizune was biting at her lower lip, trying to think of something to say, before offering the woman a soft smile as she spoke. "I know he looks like a kid to you, but Naruto-kun knows what he's talking about. If it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't have my father as anything more than a shell of who he used to be."

"Yes, but then you wouldn't be losing so much sleep at night because of him and Kiba's mom, Hinata-chan." Ino cut in, grinning sweetly at her teammate, even as she ignored the way the pale eyed girl scowled back at her.

"Hush, Ino-chan. At least my father's not out with a different girl every night." Hinata countered with a sight sniff as she sent a measured glare at her friend.

"You say it like that's a bad thing, Hinata-sama." Kin offered up, smirking slightly even as she continued lightly nuzzling into Ino's side.

"Heh… The kids are something aren't they?" Jiraiya spoke up, a measure of pride in his voice, before he again glanced down as his sake as the reminder that what they were, was in spite of his inaction, not because of what he'd done.

"Um, Jiraiya-sama, do you know what she means? About what she said about her father?" Shizune spoke up as Hinata failed to clarify exactly what it was she meant as she lost herself in her little tangent with her teammate.

"Hiashi." Jiraiya responded quietly as he took another sip from his wine. "His brother, then his wife. Along with the pressures the Hyuga elders put on him, and trying to balance looking after his clan and raising his daughters, he almost lost himself I'd imagine. From what I've heard, Naruto was the one to help him from completely losing himself."

"He doesn't truly hate you, Jiraiya-san." Ino spoke up as she lightly ran her fingers through Kin's hair.

"He should." Jiraiya responded simply as he quietly reached down and took a slow sip from his sake. "I do."

"It probably doesn't help that you tried to rip off his joke." Kin noted with an innocent smile.

"Rip off… his joke?" Shizune blinked slightly as she turned her head to the apparently odd girl snuggling against the remaining blonde.

"About the best way to shut up an asshole." Kin responded with a quick nod of her head and an oh too innocent smile.

"It was funny." Jiraiya admitted, before he paused and grumbled. "Even if I was on the receiving end of the butt plug."

"The… receiving end?" Shizune stared, blankly at the man as her eyebrow began to twitch slowly. "Jiraiya-sama…"

"Not that way!" The man almost shrieked out his response as he lightly glared from her to a now giggling Kin. "He threw it at my face."

"Oh." Pausing a moment, the woman considered thoughtfully before a slight smile grew on her lips. "Then I suppose it is a funny joke."

"As long as you're not the one getting the butt plug to the face." Jiraiya agreed with a slight mutter, even as a soft smile crossed his lips.

-o-o-o-

"Ya know, if you stopped drowning yourself in that stuff and actually faced your problems, it'd have stopped hurting so badly a long, long time ago," Naruto said conversationally as he stood on the wall over where Tsunade was drinking a bottle of sake like it was water.

"What the hell do you know, brat?" Tsunade growled as she glared up at the boy standing above her so neutrally.

"Seeing as how I've already watched someone go through it? Plenty, it was enough of a pain in the ass to drag him out of his little spiral." Naruto responded with a candid glare directed back at her. "And the whole, oh, it's so painful to be me, wah wah wah, my life is cursed thing? There was a reason beat some bloody sense into Spanky years ago."

A quick jump saved up as the wall he was standing on exploded into a cloud of dust from the angry woman's sudden strike. "Shut up! What the hell do you know?!"

"Geez, lemme think?" Naruto immediately adopted an exaggerated thinking pose as he lightly tapped his lip. "I don't know, let's see, I was an orphan, who didn't know who his parents were, or why he was hated by almost everyone in the village. I lost one of the first people to have ever really cared about me only a year after I met her.

"I then spent too many damned years keeping the rest of her family from tearing itself apart. Then, when things are FINALLY settling down, I find out WHY I've been hated in the first place. Because people are too stupid to distinguish an innocent child from the demon he was keeping a prisoner."

He took a moment, letting the words hang in the air, before he continued, staring back at the woman with an angry glare. "But hey, no big? It's not like most consistent person in my life, one of the people I admired more than anyone hadn't been lying to me the entire time about the one thing I wanted to know more about than anything.

"Except, whadda ya know, I found out later he was! Along with the poor excuse for a god father I have named Jiraiya, who I didn't even know about until less than two fucking months ago. Or, hey, that my father was the one who stuck the kyuubi inside of me, because he trusted me above everyone else to keep this village safe."

His eyes burned down into Tsunade's as he glared at the words spat past his lips. "That's what I know. I know all about pain. I know about loss. But ya know what? I'm still standing, I'm still smiling and I'm still laughing. I've been knocked in the teeth more times than you can imagine, granny, and ya know what? Even though I'm going to get it even more in the future, I'm going to get back up and keep doing what I do."

"Easy for you to say, you're still a kid." Tsunade shot back, even as she couldn't quite meet his eyes, before she muttered quietly under her breath. "I'm old, brat. I've been through two damned wars, and I've lost most everyone I've cared about. The only ones left..." She paused a moment, before she let loose a short, bitter laugh. "Only ones left are Shizune and Jiraiya, if you can believe it. And this is the first time I've seen Jiraiya in years... Shizune... She keeps wasting her time trying to make excuses for my behavior."

"I've noticed." Naruto answered as he seemed to calm just slightly, while he glanced over the woman. "So, finished with the anger and onto the depression, hmm?"

"I like to switch back and forth, vary it up a little." The sarcasm in her words lanced thickly through the air as she grumbled and took another drink from the sake bottle. "So, you're Minato's brat, huh?"

"And again, I find myself wanting to beat the old man bloody." Naruto grunted as he huffed slightly but took a seat next to the woman. "Some big secret."

"Eh, so, Jiraiya showed you any of your father's moves?" The woman settled the bottle down, and crossed her arms over her knees as she stared forward, not quite looking at the boy as she seemed lost in thought.

"He offered." Naruto answered truthfully as his pose almost mimicked hers. "I told him I wasn't interested. I'm not him, nor, have I really wanted to be."

"Heh, musta hit him hard." Tsunade chuckled just a bit as she turned her head and looked at the boy for a moment. "You should let him teach you. Even if you don't use them, at least you'll have one of the things he poured himself into."

"Right, let the stalking pervert who abandoned me and writes those damned Icha Icha books, teach me." Naruto rolled his eyes a bit and snorted softly.

"Eh, the books aren't too bad, too crude to get me going, and they're no Sweet Silky Nights..." Tsunade chuckled a bit as she shook her head. "Though, I about killed him when he published the one with his damned fantasies about me in it."

"Well, at least it's nice to be appreciated." Naruto chuckled a bit before pausing and shuddering visibly. "And I seriously do NOT need to know about that pervert's fantasy life."

"It's creative at least." Tsunade offered with a dry chuckle, before the rest of the boy's statement processed through her mind. "Appreciated?"

"Hi, I'm Naruto, when I'm not doing stuff with my teammates, or tormenting the ANBU and the rest of Konoha's ninja forces, I'm the writer of Sweet Silky Nights." A cheeky grin on his face, the boy casually offered her his hand as he spoke.

"Heh, aren't you just full of surprises." The woman smirked back at him as she took his hand in hers and shook it firmly. "Tsunade, when I'm not dragging my apprentice from bar to gambling hall to bar, I teach her what I still know about medical techniques."

"So then, Granny." Naruto offered, a slight smirk on his face as he watched the light twitch pass across the woman's brow. "Does this mean you're ready to stop running?"

"Do I really have a choice, brat?" Tsunade grumbled as she sent the boy a slight glare.

"No, not really, but I figured I'd humor you and pretend you did," Naruto admitted, still grinning at her as he lightly stretched out.

"Damned obnoxious brat." She grumbled the words sourly as her face twisted up in annoyance. "I should flick you into the wall and see how obnoxious you are then."

"Well, you could." Naruto agreed, nodding his head with a suddenly serene smile on his lips. "But, then you'd have to find out why I send ANBU forced into hysterics with a smile."

"And Sarutobi-sensei lets you get away with this?" Tsunade was smirking slightly now, as she glanced down at him in amusement.

"No." Naruto responded with a slight smirk on his lips as he threw the woman a wink. "He PAYS me to do it."

"Heh, I can see why Jiraiya would be proud of you." Tsunade chuckled just a bit as she lightly glanced down at the bottle in front of her and let out a slow, lingering sigh, before smirked just a bit. "Not in the least because of the three girls you seem to have all over you."

"I got very, very lucky." Naruto admitted with a slight little smile on his face. "But, they're my friends too. I wouldn't trade them for the world." Turning his head a bit, he chuckled slightly. "So, how come you and Jiraiya never...?"

The woman froze for a moment, staring down at the bottle in front of her as suddenly her mouth felt awfully dry and the temptation grew, even as she forced herself to ignore it. "Complicated story, involving two stubborn idiots, wayward hearts and a lot of pain."

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere?" Naruto offered back as he canted his head to the side and simply listened to her, waiting for her to speak.

And speak she did.

-o-o-o-

A silver stream of light filtered down from the heavens as Jiraiya sat, calmly studying the way the clouds lazily drifted across the knowing sliver of the moon. In his hand, a simple saucer of sake, the clear rice wine catching glinting highlights of the moonlight as it rippled slightly against the slightest tremors in his hand. With a slow, deliberate motion, he brought the saucer up to his lips, before taking only the slightest of sips as he continued to stare up at the half veiled moon.

Finally, a slight look of annoyance flashing across his eyes, he turned his head before his voice almost growled out. "Are you going to stand there, staring at me all night, or you going to do the polite thing and give a greeting?" Shaking his head he grumbled slightly as his words left his lips. "And you girls call ME a stalker."

"Well, you do occasionally give off that vibe." Hinata offered almost cheerfully as she stepped into view then quietly strode over to take a seat next to the middle aged man. "What with the refusing to listen, sitting there, watching us, so on and such forth."

"I am allowed to admire the life he's made for himself, even if he doesn't want me to be a part of it." Jiraiya commented even as he would lightly take another slow sip from his sake and stared lingeringly at the moon overhead.

"He's mainly just angry right now." Hinata observed with a quite voice as she followed his gaze to the moon overhead.

"Just angry?" Jiraiya's lips threatened to quirk upwards into the smallest semblance of a smile at her words.

"Well, more than just angry," the girl admitted as she lightly ducked her head for a moment in acknowledgment. "He'll eventually get over his anger. But, he won't ever forget it."

"'Forgive, but never forget.'" He quoted quietly as he took another soft sip from his wine. "Words a ninja should live by."

"Have you forgiven her, for choosing another?" Hinata spoke up suddenly as she finally turned her head and glanced over to the suddenly stiffening man, his fingers tightened on the saucer as he continued to stare ahead.

"Which her?" Jiraiya's voice was calmer than he thought he could make it, his eyes never turning towards the girl. "There have been quite a few, especially that chose another."

"No, there hasn't." Hinata corrected him with her soft voice. "There has always only been one for you. Your whole life, no other could measure up to her."

"Damned Byakagan eyes." His lips tugged down into a grimace as he drained away the sake, but refused to answer her even further.

"You love her." Hinata noted as she lightly studied the man before her, the legend who had buckled under the weight of his tragedy.

"Since your parents were in diapers, kid." Jiraiya admitted as he glanced up towards the moon and stars once more. "I loved her, as much as any man could love a woman. Just as I loved Orochimaru as much as anyone can love a brother. I would have died for them a thousand times over if it had been needed." He paused a moment, before a spike of anger wedged up in his features as the saucer in his hand went flying. "Then, the wars came, and everything changed."

He took a moment, the welling need in his chest almost bursting, before finally, he couldn't help it, and he began to tell the tale he's never told another. "'Rochi... he was the kindest of us, in a way, the best of us. Humble, somewhat shy, caring... The one who would stop to cheer up a crying child, or would go out of his way to bring some coins, or some food to a homeless orphan.

"There was a reason Sensei was always proudest of him, why it was so hard for him to believe that kind boy, that generous young man, had become the monster he is now." He sat there, staring off into the distance for a moment before he shook his head, as the weight of memory settled onto his shoulders. "The best of us, and the weakest of us. Sensei wasn't there, fighting side by side... watching him change, bit by bit as the horrors of war took their toll. Rochi... Rochi couldn't handle it. Couldn't stand the suffering, the pain, and bit by bit, it broke him.

"Death, pain, destruction. How the weak were snuffed out first." His fingers clenched, Jiraiya closed his eyes, fighting down the tears that threatened to stream down his cheeks. "It started with the need to protect them. To be strong enough to keep them from harm. To learn everything he could to be able to do it. And from there... It became so easily twisted. Until in the end, his weakness gave birth to the monster the world knows."

Shaking his head, he chuckled in bitter irony as he stared down at his hands. "Tsunade... She did her best. Fought hard to save everyone she could, but in the end..." He paused again, taking a slow, deep breath as he stared up at the sky. "In the end, she allowed her hope to blind her, and she entrusted a burden on ones that couldn't shoulder it. And it cost them, and her."

"Burden?" There was confusion in Hinata's voice as she spoke up, staring at Jiraiya as she quietly broke into his words.

"That necklace of hers. I'd imagine, in a way she's right." Jiraiya shook his head as he stared up into the clouds. "Only those who can, or will be strong enough, worthy enough to be Hokage can bear it. She allowed her hope to blind her, and she entrusted it to those worthy of her love, who told her their dream was to be Hokage."

"But the necklace doesn't make you worthy." Hinata continued where he left off as she made that connection. "Either you are, or you aren't. And if you aren't..."

"Then you die." Jiraiya answered her bluntly. "Her grandfather chose well. She didn't."

"And she paid the price for her choice." Hinata finished quietly as she lightly hugged her arms about her shoulders. "And you hate yourself feeling justified that she made when she chose him over you."

"I am as I am, kid," Jiraiya said simply as he stared out into the distance. "A ninja. And a ninja is someone who endures. I might falter here and there... But I'll keep going until my last breath."

"That's nice and all, but you can endure and still have some happiness." Hinata observed as she quietly pointed out a single point. "Look at Naruto."

"Naruto deserves it." He smirked just a bit at his words as he lightly shook his head. "Oh, does he deserve it."

"You know, you're never going to end up any happier if you keep up this kind of attitude." Hinata pointed out as she lightly glared at the man.

"You're assuming that I want to be happy, kid." The man shook his head slowly and quietly, the spikes of his long white hair swaying slightly in the motion.

"Everyone wants to be happy." It was a rather lackluster counter as the girl frowned slightly while she looked at the man.

"Only the people who think they deserve it," Jiraiya answered, his lips turned up into a bit of a bitter sweet smile as he leaned back and stared up at the sky. "Those of us that know better? Either we struggle in spite of it, or we calmly accept that truth and do what we can to make lives better for those that do."

Just as Hinata spoke up to try and offer up another rebuff to his attitude, her words were immediately cut off by another, older female voice. "Give it a rest, girl. He's a stubborn old man who's not going to listen to you."

Hinata and Jiraiya both blinked as they turned their attentions to where Tsunade stood, arms crossed about her chest as she half glared, half smirked at her white haired teammate. Next to her, Naruto was rolling his eyes just a bit, before he gestured towards his own teammate. "Come on Hinata-chan, let's leave the old folks to their moping. Granny wants to talk to the old pervert."

"Brat." Tsunade muttered with a slight smirk as she lightly tapped him on the back of his head with her finger, causing him to almost fall over from a force like a smack. "Learn some manners."

"Bah, you're the one who acts more like a brat than me." Naruto countered with a grumbled, even as he stepped carefully out of range of the woman's fingers and scooted over to Hinata. "Come on Hinata-chan, like I said, time to go."

Before the girl could really answer him, Naruto had her swept up and carted off, leaving the two sannin staring at one another for a long moment, before shrugging slightly, Jiraiya held up his sake bottle wordlessly. Snorting softly as she walked over and settled in next to him, Tsunade shook her head. "No thanks, I'm trying to cut back."

"Huh…" Jiraiya turned his head slightly to the sky, before craning his head upwards to stare at the heavens overhead.

For a moment, the woman stared at the man blankly, before a light twitch of her eye could be seen as her words growled past her throat. "I swear, if you're looking for signs of the world ending, Jiraiya…"

"It's been over 20 years since you could hit me without me letting you, Princess." A slight smirk was on the man's lips as he responded back, glancing at her with a light twinkle in his eyes as he chuckled just a bit. "And, at the moment, I'm not feeling too terribly much like indulging you."

For a moment, she seemed to ignore him as she stared down over her arms, watching the way the slight breeze sent a ripple of motion through the leaves of a nearby tree. Finally, unable to help herself, she spoke. "We're screwed up, you know that?"

"I don't know about you, Princess," Jiraiya responded with a drawl in his voice as he glanced at her as he leaned back on the roof, "But, me? Screwed up doesn't even begin to describe how monumentally I've fucked up."

"Right." Tsunade shook her head and sighed just a bit, before suddenly she lashed out with her hand and just barely missed smacking the back of his head as he ducked slightly out of the way. "You're not an idiot, Jiraiya, so stop acting like one."

"Oh? Since when?" There was a slightly amused little smirk on his lips as he looked back at her, a triumphant, 'I told you so' gleam in his eyes as he lightly watched her.

"Since our first war." Bitter words fell past her lips as she turned her head away, unable to quite look at him as she could feel the way the very air around them seemed to stiffen in response. "Did you think we didn't notice? Why do you think we never countered an order you gave in combat? Why do you think we always listened to you when you spoke?"

Her hand reached up and lightly gripped on the necklace hanging from her throat, fingers clenching tight about the smooth stones. "You were always the strongest of us." She let off a light, bitter sweet laugh at that before she continued, glancing at him for a moment out of the corner of her eye. "Do you know how much that galled us at first? Orochi, the genius of our generation, sensei's favorite, and me, the granddaughter of the First, grandniece of the Second, and the no name, loud mouthed brat of our team, was the strongest of us."

She shook her head a moment, allowing the bittersweet smile to fade away. "Then the war ended, and we just… forgot. It was so easy to slip back into the roles we had before. To forget what we knew. When the second war began, we weren't a team any longer and it was even easier to let it slip away. I met a man I thought could live up to the expectations I had, and I made myself fall in love."

Jiraiya stared at her for a long moment, watching in silence as the tears began to flow down her eyes, letting the unspoken words sink into his mind as he watched her, and merely waited as she continued once more.

"Dan… He was kind, reserved, caring, charming. Everything I thought I wanted in a man, you know? Almost perfect." Shaking her head as she closed her eyes, the tears sparkling like trickles of ice down her cheeks. "But, I knew, it wasn't right. I knew that he wasn't strong enough to fulfill his dream. But, I wanted to believe. I thought, that if I believed enough, it would be true. If I loved him enough it would be right. So, I gave him the necklace, and I sent him to his death.

"And when I found out, I was forced with the simple truth. I had killed him. I knew he wasn't worthy. I knew it was foolish, I knew what would happen, but I did it anyway, because I wanted to believe that I could make the truth change." Her body curled back into herself as she felt the tears flowing, even faster now, her throw growing thick, her body, heavy before she turned her head and looked at him with those glistening eyes. "That's why I left. Because I'd killed a man with my selfishness. Not because I cared so deeply for him, but because I will always be stained by his blood."

For a moment, Jiraiya couldn't bring himself to respond, couldn't force the words past the thickness in his own throat, before finally he spoke. "Tsunade… In this life… a shinobi's life, all our hands are stained with blood, save those who die in ignorant bliss."

A wet laugh left the woman's lips as she looked at him with those tear wet eyes and smiled a thin, mirthless smile. "Your hands aren't stained with the blood of a good shinobi you killed because you didn't want to admit the truth to yourself. I killed Dan, because I couldn't admit that I'd fallen for a perverted, foolish, gallant shinobi who was the strongest man I'd known."

"… Tsunade… Please, don't do this." He looked away then, refusing, unable to meet her eyes as his own clouded over with tears. "Please, just don't. I'm not strong. I'm not gallant. I'm just a foolish pervert who's made a lot of mistakes in a long, miserable life."

"You're wrong about that, you know," the woman said softly as she lightly shook her head, before he stiffened as she quietly just leaned against him. "You're stronger, and more gallant than you know." With a slow, deep breath, the woman steeled herself, before she turned her head, looking down at where his face was turned, to the side, staring away, refusing to look at her, flinching as her fingers touched his cheek. "And I owe you this. I'm sorry, Jiraiya, for running from the truth for so long."

"Tsunade… I… I just can't… I can't do this. Not now." His voice whispered softly as he stared off into the distance, fighting down the way every fiber of his being longed to press back into her warmth, into her touch. "Not anymore."

"Not yet." Tsunade finished simply as she nodded her head, the tears still gleaming in her eyes as she settled down onto the roof next to him, simply laying there, staring up at the sky overhead. "And neither can I… Not now. Not yet… But, someday?"

For a moment, Jiraiya turned his head, before nodding softly, carefully as he studied the woman next to him. "Maybe, someday."

-o-o-o-

"While it is very nice to see you again, Itachi." The Hokage glanced slightly between the neutral looking Uchiha and the blue skinned, shark-esque man seated next to him. "I can't help but ask… What the hell are you doing here?"

"It was recently brought to my attention that I made some rather… inaccurate assumptions in my initial plan." The teen answered with a slight shrug of his shoulders as he looked back at the man in front of him. "Mainly, in regards to my brother."

"Ah, I see." There was a slow nod of understanding on Sarutobi's face as he lightly stroked his beard. "And your friend?"

"No way in hell I'm trusting a sweet boy like Haku to a kid named Spanky without supervision." Kisame spoke up, a serious look on his face, arms crossed about his chest as he nodded sagely.

"Let me guess." The old man pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, before sighing slightly. "Naruto."

"He was most… informative." Itachi admitted with a nod of his head as he shifted uneasily in place.

"Don't mind Itachi, he's still coming to grips with the fact that the Yamanaka girl had pictures of how his little brother got his nickname." Kisame snickered softly as he lightly leaned back, lightly stroking his sword. "Plus… That little deviant really is a sadistic bastard."

"Please, Kisame, I'm trying to repress that." Itachi answered back, as he lightly glared at the man. "Don't make me use Tsukuyomi on you."

"What did Sasuke-kun do to him?" The Hokage couldn't help it, he had to ask.

"Made little Itachi here take him and Haku-kun on a shopping spree." Kisame grinned unrepentantly back at a suddenly green looking Itachi. "I'm not sure of the exact details, but it was enough to make Itachi refuse to talk about it."

"I haven't repressed it for one reason, and only one reason." Itachi answered with a solemn nod of his head as he crossed his arms about his chest.

"And that would be?" There was a hint of suspicious curiosity in his tone, along with the feeling he'd become intimately familiar with thanks to a certain blonde ninja.

Any response Itachi might've made, was cut off by the door opening to admit the aged figures of Homura, Koharu, and Danzo, as the last spoke up, while carefully studying the backs of the two figures seated in front of the Hokage. "You wanted to speak with us, Sarutobi?"

A slight, sadistic smile curled onto Itachi's lips, as the Hokage fought to keep an amused grin off his face as he watched the Uchiha's Mangekyo Sharingan flare to life, before he turned, catching all three elders in the eye before he whispered one word. "Tsukuyomi."

Instantly the world seemed to fade away from the three elders, as they were faced with the solitary figure of Itachi. "For the next 72 hours, you will know my pain."

In the blink of an eye, Homaru and Danzo both crumpled into catatonic shock, looks of horror etched upon their faces as they occasionally twitched lightly. Koharu however, merely blinked a moment, before leveling Itachi with a look. "And what, Itachi-kun, is so horrible about shopping with such a delightful pair of young ninja?"

Itachi stared at the woman for a moment, before sitting back down in a huff as Kisame and the Hokage heard the words muttered under his breath. "Damned insane women."

Bursting out laughing, Kisame shook his head as he took a moment to grin at the old woman before glancing back at the Hokage. "Heh, I think I could get to like it here." He paused a moment, before glancing at his sword, before looking back at the Hokage. "Just one question, why does Samehada sense Uchiha chakra on the old cripple?"

Suddenly, the completely unaware man was fixed with a number of dark looks while Kisame blinked slightly, then looked around at the others with an expression of mock innocence on his face. "What, didn't you know?"

-o-o-o-

"It would seem things have changed, drastically." A collection of 7 shadowed figures stood hazily in front of one another. "With Itachi and Kisame's defection, Konoha might prove to be more of a problem than we anticipated, especially now that they seem to have gained control over both the Kyuubi and Ichibi jinchuuriki."

"Well, um, we could just blow them up, um?" A long haired figure spoke up, as he smiled innocently at the rest of his compatriots.

"Unlikely." A massive, hunched over figure intoned woodenly. "The Kyuubi jinchuuriki has proven to be far more interesting than originally anticipated. My network has been reporting a variety of unsettling bits of information."

"Such as?" There was a note of curiosity in the mostly dead tones of their leader.

"He was one of the ones to uncover Orochimaru's plot. He was behind their ANBU's recent spike in proficiency… His being the writer of Sweet Silky Nights was the reasoning behind the recent defection of the Kazekage's children and their jonin instructor…. If I had known all I needed to do to encourage people to defect from that hell hole was write a dirty book…"

"Could we PLEASE stay on topic, Sasori?" Another voice spoke up with a grunting grumble.

"Of course, Kakuzu." Sasori's wooden voice answered smoothly as he seemed to shrug slightly. "He's apparently helped convince Tsunade to return to Konoha, along with Jiraiya, and he's acquired a girl that could very possibly be the missing Tsuichi heiress."

"He found Kinuko-chan, um?" The long haired figure blinked, then blinked again.

"He writes Sweet Silky Nights?" Came the solitary female voice of the group.

"Konan…" The Leader's voice came as a half hearted warning as he struggled to reprimand her.

"Nagato, I will follow you to Hell and back again, I will stand with you against the armies of every shinobi nation and give my life to save yours." Konan's voice rang through the air in a reasonable tone that sent a shiver down the spines of the remaining members. "But, I swear, if you take away my Sweet Silky Nights…"

From the depths of his puppet, Sasori blinked slightly as he couldn't help but muse aloud. "Yes… Perhaps I have been pursuing the wrong art after all."

"So, I'm guessing we're rethinking our plan?" Kakuzu's voice offered up as he glanced around them.

"But… the blasphemers must be cut down in Jashin-sama's name!" A new voice spoke up in outrage.

"… He's definitely not going to like this." Zetsu muttered softly under his breath as he glanced around.

"Konan…" Nagato spoke up as he paused a moment, frowning, before he let loose a sigh. "This is because I refused to go to Jiraiya-sensei after Yahiko died, isn't it?"

"Oh please." Konan responded with a wave of her hand. "Don't think I haven't seen you sneaking off with my books when you think I haven't noticed."

Everyone's eyes turned towards the rinnegan eyed figure with a variety of different shades of disbelief in their eyes. Shrugging uncomfortably, the man responded as honestly as he could. "They really are good books."

"I recommend we engage in a much more thorough investigation of Konoha and the Kyuubi jinchuuriki." Sasori spoke up as he looked around the room. "As he appears to have access to a much more powerful way of gaining power and influence than we previously encountered. Perhaps we should approach him on a much friendlier basis?"

"Seconded!" Konan answered almost as soon as Sasori finished speaking, before she send a cold glare to the room around her, daring anyone to object.

"But, Jashin-sama…" Everyone's attention turned towards the whining figure, before suddenly the man's head vanished from his shoulders. Immediately, their attention turned towards Kakuzu, who shrugged slightly before he answered.

"He's been getting more and more annoying of late. Since we're switching up plans, does anyone mind if I kill him for real now?"

"No."

"Um, nope."

"Not in the least."

"The sooner the better."

"He's REALLY not going to like this." Zetsu muttered again as he seemed to shrink down slightly.

"Good." The eldest of the assembled ninja agreed, almost smiling beneath his mask.

"So, um, roadtrip to Konoha?"

-o-o-o-

Hiruzen Sarutobi felt a cold chill race down his spine as he suddenly paused in his discussions with the pair of ex-Akatsuki members, a cold trickle of sweat moving down the back of his neck. Some how, he just knew, KNEW that Naruto had done something. Something that would leave him buried in paperwork the likes of which would destroy lesser men.

Taking a slow, deep puff from his pipe, the man paused a moment, suddenly grinning viciously, causing Itachi and Kisame to stare back at the man, recoiling slightly. Catching their reactions, his smile dimmed pleasantly and he waved his hand. "Oh, don't worry about it. I just get the feeling I'm going to be finding myself in need of a new secretary very soon, and I know just who I'm going to assign to it."

-o-o-o-

Naruto froze where he stood, as he eyed the road to home in front of them, a sudden feeling of impending doom washing over his shoulders, before he glanced towards Jiraiya. "So, we're, um, not in any particular hurry to head back to Konoha, right?"

"I thought you couldn't wait to get back?" Jiraiya's brow arched idly as he glanced down at the suddenly nervous looking boy.

"That was then. This is now, as in, now I'm feeling a growing sense of impending doom, the closer and closer we get to home." Nervously, he glanced around, shifting slightly. "So, how about we take the nice, scenic route? Say, a few times around the elemental countries?"

"Well, there have been some interesting developments in Snow recently…" Jiraiya mused before glancing over at Tsunade. "What do you say, princess? Shall we go and cause some trouble to shake off the rust?"

"Eh, what the hell, why not?" Tsunade grinned back at the man, her eyes sparkling. "It's been a long time since we've caused some trouble."

"You know, I DO need to get back to my team, sometime soon…" Sakura spoke up as she lightly glanced at the other ninja. "I really need to get back to focusing on my training."

"Eh, tell you what, how about we start giving you brats some training?" Tsunade's eyes shone evilly as she lightly rubbed her hands together. "That way, we have some fun, you learn some new tricks… everyone's happy!"

"Training?" Sakura's eyes widened as she stared at the legendary kunoichi in front of her, shock sending her jaw to drop in surprise. "From you?"

"Shizune and I can teach you girls some tricks, while Jiraiya teaches some tricks to the boys." Tsunade agreed with a nod of her head and a smirk.

"Naruto-kun?" Ino's eyes were pleading as she looked at her teammate even as they flicked over towards Tsunade and back.

"Please?" Hinata added, her own eyes wide as she stared up at him.

"Are you going to pull this too, Kin-chan?" Naruto turned his attention to Kin, who lightly tapped her lower lip in consideration.

"Actually, he's got more techniques I'm interested in than she does." Kin answered, an innocent smile on her lips as she pointed over at Jiraiya.

"A new group of cute, cuddly little genin to train, huh?" Jiraiya rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before smirking just a bit and shrugging as he grinned back at them. "What the hell, why not? I'll send a note to Sensei."

-o-o-o-

Steepling his fingers together, the Hokage stared out across his beloved Konoha, a smile of grim expectation on his lips. He knew, sometime soon, his most vicious and determined enemy would rise, stronger than ever before, with a force the likes of which he could barely comprehend. But, fortunately he had a waiting ace in the hole. Soon, Jiraiya would be back with the one he KNEW would be responsible for this grand, epic battle, and he would ensure that the boy would do his fair share of the paperwork.

"Yo, Jiraiya sent this for ya!" A voice came from his desk behind him, before a soft puff could be heard.

As Sarutobi turned around, he smiled at the scroll from his beloved pupil, before breaking the seal and glancing through it. It was only a few short lines, but they immediately wiped the smile off his face.

Sensei,

Tsunade and I are taking the kiddies on an extended training trip. We'll let you know when we're headed back. Take care of the bastard for us in the mean time, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Jiraiya

Twitching violently, Sarutobi set the scroll down carefully as he took a slow, deep inhale from his pipe, before releasing a long breath. There were days, it just didn't pay to be Hokage. The frowning man sighed slightly before glancing up to where Danzo was being escorted into the room, once more sans an arm and an eye and felt a cold, sadistic part of his soul brighten immensely. Then again…

"Hello again Danzo… We need to have a little talk the things you've been… acquiring."

-o-o-o-

"So, are we forgiving Sensei?" Minato asked curiously as he rested his chin on Kushina's shoulder.

"We'll see." The woman frowned slightly even as she allowed herself to sink back against his warmth. "I'm not just going to let him get away with things. He's got a lot to make up for."

"… You just want to see him and Tsunade finally hook up." The man shot back with a slight grin on his face.

"And you don't?" She challenged back, her brow arching up.

"After all the time he spent moping over her?" Minato laughed softly and shook his head just a bit. "Madara is going to be pissed."

"Let him. The stubborn little fucker needs to just give it up and die already." Kushina snorted slightly as she curled up against him. "Looks like our little Naruto will have plenty of people looking out for him."

"Let's hope we don't see him face to face for a long, long time." Minato agreed as the two just continued to watch the scenes playing out before them, savoring each other's warmth, as they would do for many years to come.

-End-

Author's notes: Yes, that's it. I'm done with this bloody monster. No more. Fin, Finite, that's all he wrote.

Hope you've enjoyed the ride.


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